1 Brothers in Arms
by Sessy-Okugata
Summary: Sesshomaru as lead character with Inuyasha. Can the brothers be friends or is 200 years of bad blood too much for them to overcome? Will the youkai lord find true love with Akatsuki now that Kagura is gone? Will he ever even admit that he cared?
1. Chapter 1 A New Beginning Part 1

Except for the videos on the internet, the Inuyasha Anime is long gone, but as can be seen from my login; I am a major Sesshomaru fan and felt I didn't see enough of him. There were many things I did not like that took place so I figured I would try my hand at making some adjustments. For one thing I did not like the fact that the anime has no true reconciliation between the two brothers. Let me first say, you may consider me a boring female because I am not a yaoi fan, so this story will not have any of that or any mpreg in it; so I'm sorry if anyone is disappointed. I simply wish to get the brothers closer, and hopefully move forward with their lives; adding a little male/female love relationship along the way; especially for Sesshomaru. I know that I also want to expand the Sesshomaru character, picking up on some of the things I saw while the show was on. Whether I finish this or not; depends entirely on the interest and comments I receive, so I hope you enjoy and provide plenty of honest feedback.

I do not own, nor do I claim to own any of the characters from the anime/manga InuYasha, or unfortunately Sesshomaru either, although I wish I did. All InuYasha characters are owned by Rumiko Takahashi. All other characters will either be credited to another copyrighted work or stated as being an original character created for this work.

All of the InuYasha characters are owned by Rumiko Takahashi

This is a fanfic centering around Sesshomaru as the primary character with Inuyasha and Sesshomaru's crew with several OC's created by me.

The battle over the shikon no tama is over and the youkai lord made a silent vow to his chichi-ue that he would stop fighting with his younger brother and try to make peace.

But is 200 years of previous hatred between them too much for them to overcome?

My goal is to try to get the two brothers to be friends, try to keep them in character, and add a romantic interest for Sesshomaru that will be introduced later in the story and I may even introduce one for Inuyasha.

The first several chapters are of Sesshomaru and Inuyasha trying to connect to each other, but unfortunately, it's not an easy transition. The first of several of my oc's will be introduced in Chapter 8-I, Sesshomaru, Protect No One. Hope you stick around and enjoy!

BTW: In my story since it begins just months after Naraku's death, it is long before the time that according to Takahashi, Kagome comes back so other than an occasional mention here and there, she is not included in this story.

I hope you enjoy and can kindly provide feedback.

**Chapter 1—A New Beginning (Part 1)**

殺生丸 ＆ 犬夜叉: きょうだい イン 甲鉄  
Sesshomaru & Inuyasha: Kyoudai in Kōtetsu  
Sesshomaru & Inuyasha: Brothers in Arms

A powerful scent forced him to stop. It was as brash and repulsive as ever; a pathetic reminder of the past. Such useless memories displeased him. He had no desire to revisit wretched recollections left behind by that despicable hanyou. But here they lurked, hovering in the hollows of nearby caverns. Mementos of that filthy vermin-Naraku.

He had left a number of nasty creatures lurking in his stead. Beasts that existed for one purpose only-human food. Human's from that nearby village. Rin was much too close for them to be ignored.

The youkai lord had no tolerance for such parasites; their very existence was a personal affront to him, as he recalled the havoc they'd wreaked. With a tight grip around its tsuka and a smooth delicate tug, Bakusaiga sang its sweet metallic song as Sesshomaru gracefully pulled the sword from his heko-obi and prepared for their ultimate destruction.

Acknowledging its master's will, his sword vibrated with pulses of intense electrical energy until he released it, swinging the blade toward the strong youkai scent. Penetrating the edges of the small nearby cavern, the sword's power sought its hidden prey, exploding through the walls, piercing the youkai bodies as they shattered into nothingness.

Re-sheathing his blade, Sesshomaru paused only long enough to wonder why Inuyasha had not taken care of these useless creatures. This was his territory. He did live less than 20 miles away in that human village, after all.

It had been nearly three months since Naraku was killed and over a month since he had left Rin in that village. It was something he had not wanted to do, and of course, she had not wanted to stay. But he had told her it would only be temporary, and he had promised he would return often to see her. Keeping promises was not something he relished doing...; no; actually it was not something that he ever did, because he simply did not make any. Rin, though, was different. She had a way about her. He remembered he had been stunned when she had demanded he promise out loud. That's what she had said; 'promise out loud, my lord.' And so, she had literally compelled him to do something out of character. But, of course, that had not been the first time. Having her in his life at all, had essentially been out of character.

"L-o-o-oord Shessho-o-o-omaruuu!" Jaken bellowed from the distance, as tiny feet scampered to catch up; but Sesshomaru continued his steady pace, moving in the direction of the village; paying little attention to the little youkai that followed in his wake. He had not seen Rin in nearly three weeks, and he knew she would be looking for him; another sign of how his life had changed recently-fulfilling obligations. He had accepted these changes, but he had often found himself wondering why.

As he had been doing more frequently lately than ever before, Sesshomaru reflected on his chichi-ue's question to him on the night he had died.

_Do you have something to protect?_

Now, he wondered if he was becoming more like him, although he had always considered Inuyasha to be the one who would follow in his footsteps in that regard. He had never considered himself a protector of anything or anyone, but that young girl had-What? He knew somehow he had changed and it had all started with her.

"Lord Sesshomaru, are we going to see Rin?" Jaken asked. He was now shuffling a few feet behind Sesshomaru's heel; but yet again, Sesshomaru offered no response.

'I thought once Rin was gone, me Lord would be more responsive to me,' Jaken thought warily to himself, 'but he seems to be even more withdrawn than ever before. Ohhh, why does he treat his loyal servant so rudely?'

Emerging from the forest, Sesshomaru came to a stop as a gust of wind wafted softly across his face, encircling him; lightly blowing his long strands of silver-white hair. Tilting his head upward, he scented the air, then turned his head and scented again. Another scent that was so very familiar. It too, was brash and loud, just like he was-parading around like a skilled artisan which he clearly was not; and why? Because he possessed a sword, nothing more. A sword also bequeathed to him, but now so convoluted it bore little resemblance to the original. A sword he flung about with such unwarranted enthusiasm it left little doubt of his inexperience. His hanyou half brother-Inuyasha.

But there was something that was somehow different about him now. His scent seemed somehow stronger. It was not the same as before when his blood had scented more like their chichi-ue's and his own. Now, there was what? More pain; more confusion; just more.

The youkai lord closed his eyes. Hanyou though he was, he was still his half brother, his chichi-ue's second son. The brother he had forsaken long ago; the brother who even now, he barely communicated with. A connection or rather lack of one; that left him wondering. Was this yet another evolution his life would be forced to endure?

For now, he would do nothing about him. His chichi-ue, for certain, would want him to do something about that one day, but not now. Their paths were once more separated. It was best to leave it that way. Besides, his assistance, he knew, would not be appreciated.

"Is something the matter me lord?" Jaken asked, studying Sesshomaru as the youkai lord opened his eyes and breathed a little heavier than usual.

The village was not far, but he wanted to assure himself of Rin's safety. He would also have the advantage of surveying the area from the air. "I'm going to fly Jaken," Sesshomaru finally offered.

"Yes me lord," Jaken responded giddily, scurrying to his master's side as he climbed onto Sesshomaru's furred mokomoko, grateful to be acknowledged by his lord, even if indirectly.

After only a few minutes, the pair arrived at the miko's hut and Sesshomaru hovered just above it. Surprisingly, it was quiet, nothing seemed amiss. Coming to a stop, he lightly touched down.

Lowering himself to the ground, Jaken scurried toward the door.

"Lord Sesshomaru! Master Jaken!" Rin squealed with delight, jumping to her feet when Sesshomaru pushed back the covering to the miko's door and stepped into the hut.

"I've missed you both so much," she ran up and wrapped her arms around Jaken.

"Stop it you foolish girl," Jaken yapped with annoyance as he struggled to disengage her grip.

"Rin, have you been fairing well?" Sesshomaru asked quietly.

"Oh yes my lord," Rin said, quickly springing to an almost military-like attention, as she directed her focus to her beloved lord. Her back was perfectly erect, her hands plastered at her sides, her little feet perfectly aligned; then her small waist bent forward ever so slightly, to acknowledge him. "And how are you? And Jaken? And how is Ah-Un?" she fired in rapid succession; almost breathlessly as she seemed to want to know everything they had done since she'd been gone.

"We're all fine," Jaken answered dismissively. Generally, he behaved as if it was his responsibility to discipline the child and, if at all possible, to stifle her over exuberance which he always felt was in excess.

"How are you Miko," Sesshomaru asked, acknowledging Kaede sitting in a darkened corner.

"I'm well, and ye?" Kaede responded, her single eye studying him closely; rather uncertainly, as she pushed her stiff, old body from her perch and hobbled toward the door. It was pointless to complain that he had entered without first announcing his arrival. He had probably never knocked at a single door in his life. Who would stop him?

Kaede never really knew how to react to Sesshomaru. Inuyasha often said he was heartless. But Rin certainly cared for him and he seemed to care for her, but this full blooded daiyoukai left her feeling, to say the least, a little uncomfortable. He was a contradiction to her. He didn't even seem to care for his own brother, yet he cared for a human child.

With her thoughts slipping to Inuyasha, Kaede decided she was probably useless here anyway, so she'd best go see how he was doing. He hadn't faired well since Kagome had returned to her own time and Miroku and Sango had departed together to build a home. She didn't even know the last time Inuyasha had eaten. He spent most of his time pining away at the bone-eaters well, which was turning out to be an unhealthy thing, not to mention he was scaring half of the villagers. "I'll leave ye alone for a little," she said before departing.

"Rin, what have you been doing since last we were here?" Sesshomaru asked once Kaede had stepped outside.

"Oh yes my lord, Kaede-san has taught me many things," Rin exclaimed as she knelt on a rug that had many plants strewn across it. She had been helping the miko sort through a variety of herbs and spices that they intended to distribute to the villagers. Now, she was anxious to display her knowledge. Her lord had said he wanted her to learn a few things before he could take her back.

Although knowledge in general was a good thing, Sesshomaru was more concerned about her learning how to defend herself, if at all possible.

"This is a palm plant," Rin said, holding up a long golden bushy looking plant. "It can help prevent pain from an infection. So Master Jaken you won't have to worry next time," she said giggling as she turned to smile at the little imp. "I'll be able to take care of you."

"Hmmph," Jaken grumbled, folding his arms and pointing his beaked nose upward, annoyed that she should single him out as most likely to get hurt. "I don't need you to take care of me, you silly girl."

"This one is A Low Vera," Rin said, completely unaware that she had pronounced the name incorrectly as she picked up a green prickly looking plant. "Kaede-san says it's great for treating wounds and rashes." Putting the plant down, Rin scooted quickly across the rug. "This one is ginger, it helps stomach aches and it's good for colds," she began to reach for another plant, but stopped.

She had grown momentarily silent, then rose from her knees and looked up shyly, "Lord Sesshomaru?" Rin began pensively, still holding onto the ginger plant; her large brown eyes not quite having its previous exuberance.

Sesshomaru fixed his gaze squarely upon his young charge, "What is it?" His voice was quietly calm; as it generally was when he spoke to her.

"Umm," Rin began slowly, again coming to an attention-like stance; dangling the ginger plant at her side. "Inuyasha-san isn't well," she explained, certain his brother would be as concerned as she. "Kaede-san says these plants can't help him," she paused slightly. "Can you?" she asked finally.

Without changing his expression, Sesshomaru's golden-eyed gaze remained fixed upon her once lively face, now saddened in a manner he had never before seen. She looked back at him with large innocent eyes that had no idea of the distance between himself and his brother.

"Wha-a-at? You foolish girl," Jaken snapped quickly.

Startled by his sharp tone, Rin jumped backward, raising her arm to her face.

"Lord Sesshomaru doesn't care about that stupid hanyou."

"Oooh," Rin said sorrowfully, looking down at her feet. It was as if her heart had crashed to the floor.

Sesshomaru felt a tug at his own chest. This was it; she had that way of appealing to his better angel. Something he would never have believed he possessed. Clearly, she was concerned about Inuyasha and wanted Sesshomaru to do something about him. She believed he could fix anything. The youkai lord pondered the benefits. Inuyasha was his brother, hanyou though he was. But, was Inuyasha also his problem?

"Jaken" Sesshomaru barked, "Leave her be!" he ordered; his gaze sharp as he focused on the little youkai.

"Ooohhh," Jaken whined, miserably, "Yes me lord."

Sesshomaru lifted his head, focusing his gaze on nothing in particular. He had overheard Rin asking Jaken about Inuyasha on many occasions. Although he knew she had difficulty understanding how two bothers could be so distant, he had never tried explaining any of it. He could not. Their relationship or more accurately, lack of one, defied explanation.

"Where is he?" Sesshomaru asked unnecessarily, returning his attention to Rin. He knew of her desire to be involved and asked simply to provide her that comfort. From what he had scented earlier, he knew Inuyasha was close.

"Me Lord?" Jaken queried puzzled, turning and staring up at his master; amazed that he had shown any interest at all.

"At the bone-eaters-well," Rin said hopefully, looking up at Sesshomaru. Her large vibrant brown eyes now sparkled with new life. "He's always there," she explained further "he doesn't do anything."

"Jaken, stay with Rin," Sesshomaru gave a final order before turning and leaving the hut.

"Lord Sesshomaru, where are you going?" Jaken screeched behind him as his lord made his way through the door; although he already knew. With his addled brain, he never seemed to realize his unnecessary questions were one of the primary reasons Sesshomaru spent little time responding to him.

Stepping outside of the miko's hut, Sesshomaru paused momentarily to take in a couple of whiffs of air, then slowly lifted himself. He had already scented Inuyasha nearby and knew his scent was more pungent than usual, which told the youkai lord that his little brother was not his normal self, but at that time, he had not cared to investigate.

A short ride later, Sesshomaru found himself hovering above Inuyasha's and the miko's heads.

"Huh?" Inuyasha bounded to his feet, his stance fighting ready, his hands resting lightly on the tsuka of his sword, his eyes glaring up at the approaching figure whose scent had permeated his senses. "Sesshomaru, what the heck are you doing here?"

"Stay your sword, Inuyasha," Sesshomaru directed as he lowered himself to the ground, his glance diverting momentarily toward the miko.

With understanding, Kaede offered her departures after asking Sesshomaru if he would return. Turning his head slightly, he looked over his shoulder just before she departed, but offered no other response.

"I asked you a question, Sesshomaru," Inuyasha persisted, his heart pumping with anger. "What the heck are you doing here?"

"Stop your barking Inuyasha." Sesshomaru gave him a quick perusal taking in his disheveled appearance then did the same to the surrounding area. "I was just about to ask you that." There were pieces of dead rats scattered around the well, clearly town apart by Inuyasha's claws.

"So you've taken to killing meager pests now, have you?" Not waiting for or wanting a response, Sesshomaru directed a piercing golden glare down his nose toward the hanyou. "Do you no longer clean yourself, or have you grown accustomed to your own stench? You cannot possibly scent a threat until it is too late."

"Wha-? Huh?" Inuyasha blurted dumbly, then lowered his head to take a whiff of himself. His scent was indeed strong. He hadn't even detected Sesshomaru until he was overhead. "What the heck do you care?" he grumbled, plopping his bottom back onto the ground, crossing his legs beneath him, as he sat on his haunches.

"So your intent is to bring shame to our family, is it?" Sesshomaru declared with disgust. This hanyou could be more than a little trying.

"Shut the heck up Sesshomaru," Inuyasha shot back. "And what should you care what I do?" As if finally hearing his words, he added, "And what freaking family? We've never had a family."

"Perhaps not," Sesshomaru said thoughtfully, as he narrowed his gaze at him. "But you will not bring shame to me." The tone of his voice grew sharp; he refused to be disrespected. Extruding his mokomoko with lightning speed, Sesshomaru wrapped it around Inuyasha's body, crushing and locking his arms firmly in place before his brother could blink.

"What the heck are you doing, Sesshomaru?" Inuyasha howled, twisting furiously as he strained to dislodge the vice-like grip surrounding his body.

Without answering, Sesshomaru lifted them both into the air and darted deeper into the forest. He could smell the cool scent of fresh water up ahead. Reaching his destination, he floated above the center of the lake, released his mokomoko and plunged Inuyasha deep into the water.

Hitting the water with a hefty splash, the icy cold wetness sent shivers up his spine. Inuyasha momentarily floundered beneath it, his hair blinding white massive clumps circling his head before he found his footing on the slippery rocks below. Rearing upright, water flooding in torrents off his body, he glared at his coldly amused brother with one visible golden eye. "What are you trying to do, drown me?" Inuyasha yelped between gulps, as he kicked and pushed himself; furiously swimming toward the lake's edge.

Before he had reached his destination, Sesshomaru had again knotted his mokomoko around him, yanked him backwards then dropped him back into the middle of the lake.

"Damn you Sesshomaru. Cut it out," Inuyasha howled again as his body was again assaulted by the sharp needle-like coldness. Pushing himself up again, he kicked his way back toward the water's edge.

Continuing to ignore him, Sesshomaru again wound his mokomoko around him, lifting him with yet another mighty snap then dropping him once more into the middle of the water.

"All right, all right," Inuyasha howled as he pushed himself up from the bottom of the lake yet again and held up his hand. "Let me at least take my damned cloths off will ya?"

"I shall observe," came Sesshomaru's smooth, yet frank reply. He continued to drift near him should further action be required.

Swimming toward the edge of the lake, Inuyasha stood, nearly clawing into his skin as he grasped at the strands of wet hair clinging to his face. Finally, he managed to twist the water from his locks, then shook his body rapidly and repeatedly; trying to dislodge at least some of the water from his clothing before disrobing; an act he began before he'd gotten completely out of the water. "Now I'm going to have to walk around in wet clothes all day," he grumbled as he quickly squeezed the water from his fire rat clothes then tossed them and his Tetsusaiga near the edge of the lake's bank. The fire rat clothing hit the ground with a dull wet splat. Pivoting on his heels, Inuyasha twisted more water from his long thick mane and stomped bare-ass naked back into the lake, shaking water from his ear and cursing Sesshomaru beneath his breath.

Sesshomaru flew toward land, then perched himself on a large nearby stone; a single leg pulled toward his chest, as he waited for Inuyasha to again emerge. After several minutes of determined, forceful scrubbing, he did.

Hope you enjoyed! And will leave feedback. Here are some useful definitions to help get you through the chapters. I considered not using any Japanese words, but believed it would be a betrayal of the anime I love so much.

This story is primarily based on the anime InuYasha by Rumiko Takahashi but has influences from many different areas, including my little head. I hope you enjoy. I also hope those whose character names I have utilized (such as errtu) are not offended in any way. My intent is only to compliment them because I found it appealing.

babaa – (rude term for old woman; something along the line of 'old hag' this has now evolved into Inuyasha's affectionate term for Kaede)  
baka - (idiot)  
chichi-ue - (father)  
daiyoukai - (demon lord)  
haha-ue - (mother-casual)  
hakama - (pants)  
hanyou - (half-demon)  
haori - (top)  
haramaki - (armor)  
heko-obi – (sash)  
hikigoshi - (lace)  
inu daiyoukai - (great dog demon lord)  
miko - (priestess)  
mokomoko - (tail),  
okaa-san - (mother-formal)  
oyaji - (old man)  
Taiyoukai-(great demon, powerful demon, or large demon)  
tsuka – (hilt of a sword)  
youkai - (demon)  
youki - (dark demon power)


	2. Chapter 2 A New Beginning Part 2

**殺生丸 ＆ 犬夜叉****: ****きょうだい イン 甲鉄****  
Sesshomaru & Inuyasha: Kyoudai in Kōtetsu  
Sesshomaru & Inuyasha: Brothers in Arms**

**章 ****1: ****一端 ****2 - ****更 開始****  
Shō 1: Ittan 2 - Shinki Kaishi  
Chapter 1: Part 2 - A New Beginning**

"Am I clean enough for you, Sesshomaru?" Inuyasha snarled immediately upon exiting the lake and picking up his still wet clothes. Shaking out the dirt, he angrily tugged them onto his body, tying a quick loop in his hikigoshi to secure his hakama. He felt like a sopping wet dog.

"My nose, at least, will not fall off."

"So what the heck do you want?"

"What do YOU want, Inuyasha?" was Sesshomaru's quick reply.

Inuyasha spun toward him. "Huh? Whadda ya mean?"

"What do _you_ want?" Sesshomaru spoke again, slowly.

"I don't want nothing," Inuyasha spat. "You came after me, as usual, remember. I didn't come after you."

"What are you doing in this village, Inuyasha?" Sesshomaru's voice sounded drained although you would not have noticed a difference in him simply by looking. He still exuded that same haughty regal exterior he always projected.

Inuyasha wondered momentarily why he couldn't look more like that.

"What are you doing with your life?"

Sesshomaru's question seemed odd and misdirected. Inuyasha studied his face. "Ahh come on," he turned his back, nose in the air, arms folded across his chest. "You're not gonna give me some kind of big brother speech now, are you?"

Sesshomaru's gaze narrowed briefly. "Do you want one?" he asked facetiously.

Stunned, Inuyasha spun quickly, arms now splayed to his side. "Hell no. I don't want no damned advice from you."

"No?" Sesshomaru's head tilted slightly as he eyed him steadily. He wondered if perhaps he truly did. He was after all still just a child; a child he had left to his own resources over 170 years ago after his okaa-san's death, should he take the opportunity now to amend that?

"No!" Inuyasha responded stubbornly. Something was up. Sesshomaru had never really spoken a civil word to him in their lives. And he certainly didn't care about him. So clearly, he wanted something. The only thing he, Inuyasha, wanted was to get the hell away from him.

"Hmmm," Sesshomaru responded thoughtfully. His chichi-ue had consumed his thoughts lately. His mind had been inundated by beliefs of what he had wanted him to do. Should he take the opportunity now? Did he even care? "Come with me," the youkai lord said rising from the stone. Now, was as good a time as any, was it not? "I want to show you something."

"Look Sesshomaru," Inuyasha backed away from his approaching brother. "I don't need or want anything from you," he looked down at himself, and took a whiff of the clean fresh water still enveloping him. "I'm clean, so why don't you just get lost."

"I said come with me," Sesshomaru spoke, directing a sharp, menacing glare toward him. Clearly, his patience was waning.

"What are you gonna do? Make me?" Inuyasha growled widening his stance as he backed away a little more, his hand moving slowly toward his Tetsusaiga.

"If I have to," Sesshomaru replied, without moving an inch, his gaze intense and firmly fixed on Inuyasha's face.

Two pairs of golden eyes glared at each other. The intensity in Sesshomaru's eyes made Inuyasha realize this was a battle he probably wouldn't win. He knew his brother's strength had been greatly enhanced since he'd gotten his arm back and gotten his own sword. They hadn't fought in quite some time, and Inuyasha wasn't all that sure he wanted to test him out now. Although he smiled internally at the thought that a good ass-whipping was probably what his brother needed.

"Geh," Inuyasha finally complied after setting his own gaze on Sesshomaru's sword, suspended from his heko-obi. When it got right down to it, he really didn't want to fight. "Where?" Besides, he had remembered Bakusaiga continually cutting Naraku's body, even after Sesshomaru had stopped wielding it.

"I will take you," Sesshomaru said as his vibrant red aura of raw youki began to spark.

"Sheez," Inuyasha muttered stepping backward. "Where are we going?"

"We will be there in a minute."

"Yeah, but where are we going?" Inuyasha persisted.

"You ask questions like Jaken," Sesshomaru said rather matter-of-factly.

"Wha-a-at?" Inuyasha's mouth fell open as Sesshomaru reached out to grab him and his youki crackled forming a large white ball of energy that radiated from his body, engulfing them both; as he lifted them both into the air.

Thinking back on the little imp's mannerisms, Inuyasha decided to be quiet. He was certain Sesshomaru had received a million questions from both Jaken and Rin. It was bad enough he was flying with him. The last thing he wanted him to think was that he was another one of his little charges.

Having only seen it a few times when he was a child, and a couple of more times as an adult, Inuyasha had always wondered what it would be like to fly in Sesshomaru's ball. Now, he was pretty sure he didn't want to.

The world rushed by beneath his distorted vision, and Inuyasha could barely determine where he ended and Sesshomaru began as he believed he tried to look down at the blurred earth whizzing quickly beneath them. The more he watched the formless earth fly by, the more he began to think this was not quite as great as he'd thought it would be; at least not as a passenger.

Sesshomaru began to slow, then came to a stop above a place that, despite the distorted overhead view, the scent of the area seemed vaguely familiar to his younger brother. He lowered them to the ground then stopped.

Inuyasha quickly studied the area around them, then felt his blood warm as his fists clenched; his claws digging deep into his skin. "What the heck is this Sesshomaru?" he demanded as he spun and surveyed the area. He was standing in front of his mother's grave. A million questions raced through his head. "How dare you bring me here? How the hell did you know where this place was anyway?" Inuyasha sputtered quickly, stunned and puzzled by Sesshomaru's actions. He knew something seemed off about that crazy youkai's intentions, but why this? Did he truly hate him that much?

"I know more about you than you think, Inuyasha."

"You stupid jerk! I remember what you did before," Inuyasha's thoughts swarmed with the reality of just how much Sesshomaru hated his mother; hated him. Not that he cared what he thought, but it was a fact made even more evident that time Sesshomaru had brought that nothing woman, whose face looked like his mother's and he made him believe she was his mother just so he could find the path to their oyaji's grave. "I'll never forgive you for that. Now you turn around and do this. How dare you?" Inuyasha spewed, then leaped forward, flaying splayed claws toward Sesshomaru's throat, but the youkai lord simply seemed to glide out of the way as he grasped his arm with poison filled claws, flinging him backward like he was no more than a child's doll. "How dear you come here and violate my mother's grave?" Inuyasha, demanded just short of his knees as he dug his clawed toes into the ground in an effort to stop his backward propulsion and keep himself upright.

"That was instinctive," Sesshomaru explained his toxic claw reaction, realizing what he had done. "You should not rush at an opponent so." Offering further explanation was not his style and he certainly was not the type to apologize. His pride refused to allow him to do that which was beneath him, after all. "You have not replaced the flowers in some time," Sesshomaru said flatly, studying the place with the balding, drying brown flowers scattered across it. "You needed to see this. I, however, wanted to know what you did after she died."

His fangs chewing at his lips, Inuyasha's eyes pulsated as he bit back the anger bursting forth through his chest, his heart pounding furiously. Sesshomaru always made him feel like crap. Now, he had him feeling disrespectful to his own mother for not replacing her flowers in quite some time. "What do you mean what I did? What business is it of yours?" he whipped his glare in the direction of his older bother, his breath growing hard and heavy, the blood in his face boiling with fury.

"Did you miss her?"

Inuyasha furrowed his brows. "Why don't you just shut the hell up? I've never heard you yap so much. And I already told you this isn't your business," he snapped, so furious he could barely control the anger boiling inside of him. "I'm not going to stand here talking to you. I'm going to say this for the last time, get the hell away from my mother's grave," he demanded, lunging once more with claws blazing toward Sesshomaru's chest, or any part of the idiot's body he could get to. But once more with lightening quickness, the youkai lord easily evaded his attack; this time he flew a few feet above him.

In yet another useless attempt, Inuyasha quickly leaped into the air, but Sesshomaru simply flew higher. "Why did you bring me here," Inuyasha demanded glaring up at him.

"Answer me, Inuyasha," Sesshomaru demanded from overhead; his eyes a narrowed slit. "Did you miss her? Do you think she missed our chichi-ue?"

"Shut the hell up, Sesshomaru. If you ever come down from there, I swear I'll kill you," Inuyasha bellowed, ignoring the questions. "I've always let you go before, but now you've gone too far. I won't even have to use Tetsusaiga; I swear I'll tear you apart with my bear hands."

"You wish to kill me, Inuyasha?" Sesshomaru's golden eyes glowed with an odd sparkle as the corner of his mouth twisted slightly.

Inuyasha hated his vindictiveness and he hated the way he always seemed to get such pleasure out of tormenting him.

"Answer my questions, and I will give you that opportunity."

He wouldn't, and Inuyasha knew he wouldn't. Sesshomaru never made anything easy, except maybe that one time, but why this? He thought he'd given up on simply tormenting him when he'd given up on getting Tetsusaiga, especially after that time in the meidou. But what he was doing now didn't have anything to do with Tetsusaiga. It didn't seem to have anything to do with anything Inuyasha could figure out.

Turning his head and looking toward his mother's grave, Inuyasha reluctantly agreed that Sesshomaru was probably right. After having chased Naraku for so long, he hadn't visited his mother in quite some time. She'd died over 170 years ago. Inuyasha remembered the young child who'd dug her grave and laid her to rest; the young child who'd been abandoned by his older brother; the child who'd been alone until he'd met Kikyou. Now, there was no-one except him and his crazy brother who despised him. So now what? Should they go back to fighting each other? Back to trying to kill each other? Maybe this time Sesshomaru would cut his arm off. Is that all life was? Maybe that's why he hadn't wanted to leave the village. Maybe that's why...; Inuyasha's thoughts trailed as he lifted his head to face Sesshomaru.

"What do you want from me Sesshomaru?" He had again found himself drenched with that feeling of nothingness that had enveloped him lately. It was like a stench that twisted itself through his brain, squeezing the life out of him, blinding him with delirium and draining him of all his strength. Perhaps it was that stench that Sesshomaru had scented on him earlier and found offensive.

"Did you miss her?" Sesshomaru closed his eyes to a near slit, studying the nearly spiritless form beneath him. The hanyou seemed to have become disheartened. The fury that boiled in his blood only moments before was no longer there. It was like it was before; his brother had truly lost his way.

"Yes, is that what you wanted to hear?" Inuyasha snarled angrily. "Yes I did. She was the first person who'd really cared about me; probably the only one who ever did back then. We know you never did," he shot out snidely, hoping to wound his brother with those words; attempting to let him know he didn't need him now. But he knew that would be pointless since Sesshomaru had never cared about what he thought, anyway. "Of course I missed her," Inuyasha said with a surprising hint of pride he was certain Sesshomaru would find disgusting, but for once, he didn't give a shit. "Now what are you going to tell me? That I have filthy human feelings, right?"

"What did you do after you buried her?"

Sesshomaru hadn't seemed to hear him as he continued to look down at him with a pair of coldly unsympathetic golden eyes. Inuyasha reflected on how inappropriate it all seemed, as he searched Sesshomaru's face for signs of meaning, but found nothing. Sesshomaru had never been an easy person to read. Other than his previously obvious desire to take Tetsusaiga, Inuyasha never understood anything about him, but Sesshomaru had never tried to be understood. He had no regard for anyone or anything. Whatever his objective, he had no intention of disclosing it just yet.

"What? Why are you asking me that?" Inuyasha was growing weary of the questions, and cared not to indulge someone who would simply try to humiliate him in the end. "None of this makes any sense at all," his back began to arch as he spun on his heels and disgustedly began to walk away. "I'm not playing your stupid game anymore."

That oh so familiar mokomoko reached out, locked itself around Inuyasha in that piercing vice-like grip, then whipped him backwards. Sesshomaru held him in mid air and seemed to peer through him with keen eyes, before dropping him down to his previous position.

"What did you do?" Sesshomaru's tone now blared stern as he narrowed his gaze, growing wary of the questions, not to mention the time he was wasting.

Typical, Sesshomaru was manhandling him, yet he glared at him like he was the bad guy. Caught between the desire to claw his eyes out and that of resigning himself to just getting this over, Inuyasha now looked up into cold, narrowed eyes. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Did you cease to exist?"

"That's stupid, of course not."

"So what are you doing now?" Sesshomaru demanded, a slight sign of contempt covering his face. "Before, I saw a young hanyou who buried his mother with great care and fended for himself; a hanyou that survived a fifty year spell; even a hanyou that killed Naraku. You should be proud of that. But you, now," the youkai lord drifted downward and stopped just inches in front of him. Their noses only inches away from touching. "You're falling apart, Inuyasha. You're wasting away in filth like some low level youkai and not the hanyou that you are. Are you actually telling me it's because of that human girl?"

Inuyasha stumbled backward; his eyes grew wide as his lips spread slightly. So that's it. That's what Sesshomaru was getting to; his recent behavior. He'd survived the loss of his mother, yet he wallowed behind the loss of his friends. How did he know? Did he have some new fangled youkai power previously unknown to him?

The realization that he was alone again, was too much. Not since his mother died, had there been anyone he could talk to until Kikyou. From the moment he'd met and fallen in love with Kikyou until the time the others had all gone their separate ways, his life had meaning for the first time ever, except for the time when he'd been sealed. But now Kikyou was dead, everyone else was gone and he was alone just like before-no-one to talk to; no-one to be with. But Sesshomaru would never understand anything like that; he didn't want, need or care for anyone. He was a powerful daiyoukai that traveled his land in search of other youkai to kill. "You don't understand," Inuyasha's body slumped, no longer harboring any interest in attacking Sesshomaru; no longer interested in doing anything. "He took so much from me, and now, everyone's gone."

"You mean Naraku?" Sesshomaru demanded with sharp eyes and a great deal of disdain gushing from his voice.

Even though he was certain Sesshomaru had already surmised his problem, he didn't seem the least bit pleased about hearing his declaration. It was as if he'd been slapped in the face. Of course, what had he expected? That they would bond and all would be right with the world?

"What is wrong with you, Inuyasha?" Sesshomaru followed flatly. "Nothing lasts forever. A life with humans is the most fleeting of all."

"Yeah," Inuyasha decided to pull himself together, trying to avoid glancing too fully at that proud youkai standing before him. In some ways, he always seemed to have the upper hand. If nothing else, at this moment Inuyasha wished he could wrap himself in a ball and fly away, just like his brother could. "You're right Sesshomaru. I'll remember that," his tone was a bit dismissive, but he couldn't help it. It was time to go. The last thing he wanted was to embarrass Sesshomaru or himself any further. "I've gotta get back," he turned to leave, but stopped. "One thing, Sesshomaru," he moved to stand toe to toe with the youkai lord and even dared to tap a claw belligerently against his chest. "I'll promise not to embarrass you, if you promise to stay out of my neighborhood, okay!" he spun and began walking in the direction of his village.

Stunned silent, Sesshomaru watched him as he moved away. This was not his intent. He was unaccustomed to these personal interactions; these types of efforts had always been beneath him. He had never had any interests in forming attachments, but lately he had found himself thinking of guiding his brother's development, as his chichi-ue would have wanted.

Inuyasha had always kept his distance and Sesshomaru was certain it was because he feared him, but when he looked back on their interactions, he could hardly blame him. His previous obsession to obtain their chichi-ue's fang had been...; well it did not matter anymore. He would make the effort. To do that, he would have to drop his barrier. He knew his chichi-ue would have wanted him to do that a long time ago.

"Inuyasha," Sesshomaru called, taking slow, deliberate steps as he walked up behind him. To expose himself, would not be easy, but he would try again. "Even I, Sesshomaru, did not come out unscathed from Naraku's evil."

Inuyasha came to a halt, "What are you talking about?" He demanded turning back toward Sesshomaru, biting back his annoyance. He would not be taken in again. "You have Rin and Jaken. They're both safe. How did you not come out unscathed?"

"There was... someone else," Sesshomaru offered studying Inuyasha's face as a gentle summer breeze circled them and blew their hair softly. He had never admitted to anyone; not even himself, how angry he had become after they had so arrogantly gloated over her demise. "Someone I lost as well."

Inuyasha watched him closely. Sesshomaru seemed genuinely unbalanced. The distress he saw in his facial expression belied the majestic bone-plated haramaki across his chest. Inuyasha had never seen Sesshomaru look even the slightest bit off kilter, but he did now. Could there have been more behind his earlier actions than he'd thought.

Turning away and facing the now darkening sky, Sesshomaru realized this was unsettling, but he was determined. "I am not like you Inuyasha," he continued. "For hundreds of years I have walked the path of conquest because I believed power would reveal the true path for me. I have always believed I would continue seeking such. But now..."

Sesshomaru's voice trailed and Inuyasha wondered if he should speak. The stretch of silence grew uncomfortable for both. Inuyasha waited as long as he could, until his temper finally got the better of him. "Look Sesshomaru, I'm not interested in your problems," as soon as the words came out, Inuyasha regretted it when he saw Sesshomaru's eyes and mouth seem to twitch slightly, but at the same time, he was sort of glad he'd said it. Knowing Sesshomaru, he'd probably tell him some deep dark secret one minute, then regret it the next, then feel he had no other option than to kill the stupid hanyou that knew his secret. "Just tell me what is it that you really want, or I'm outta here."

Sesshomaru did not turn to face him. Had he been presumptuous? Had he placed his brother in a position he could not accept? After Naraku's death he had made a silent promise to his chichi-ue that he would try, but all they had done for the last few years was fight; and then he had never shown him any true kindness. How could he expect things to change simply because his heart had evolved, slightly?

"Do as you wish," Sesshomaru said. As usual, his pride would not allow him to take that step.

Was he dismissing him? Inuyasha wondered as he momentarily watched Sesshomaru glancing out across the horizon. What the heck was this all about? Frustrated that his day had been disrupted for no apparent reason, Inuyasha turned, then stumped off without bothering to turn around. What the hell did he care? That crazy youkai was not exactly a person he was going to spend his time worrying about.

-  
**REMEMBER:** All comments are welcome-good, bad, or otherwise, even if you just want to say you don't like the direction I'm going; or that it is far too excessive and detailed; as long as it's honest. So let me know what you think!

Here are some useful definitions to help get you through the chapters. I considered not using any japanese words, but believed it would be a betrayal of the anime I love so much.

babaa – (rude term for old woman; something along the line of 'old hag' this has now evolved into Inuyasha's affectionate term for Kaede)  
chichi-ue - (father)  
daiyoukai - (demon lord)  
haha-ue - (mother-casual)  
hakama - (pants)  
hanyou - (half-demon)  
haori - (top)  
haramaki - (armor)  
heko-obi – (sash)  
hikigoshi - (belt sash, lace)  
inu daiyoukai - (great dog demon lord)  
miko - (priestess)  
mokomoko - (tail),  
okaa-san - (mother-formal)  
oyaji - (old man)  
Taiyoukai-(great demon, powerful demon, or large demon)  
tsuka – (hilt of a sword)  
youkai - (demon)  
youki - (dark demon power)


	3. Chapter 3 Poisoned

Okay, I know, this is a short chapter. But I actually split it from the next chapter after I started writing it because I thought it was too long, so I hope to finish that up and have it ready in a day or two. So I hope you enjoy and let me know what you think.

**殺生丸 ＆ 犬夜叉****: ****きょうだい イン 甲鉄****  
Sesshomaru & Inuyasha: Kyoudai in Kōtetsu  
Sesshomaru & Inuyasha: Brothers in Arms****章 ****3 – ****毒害 ****  
Sho 3 - Dokugai  
Chapter 3 - Poisoned**

Inuyasha leaped and bounded his way across the few remaining miles back to his forest, dangling a satchel of fruits and vegetables across his shoulder. He had been out helping villagers chop down trees and gather fire wood for the upcoming winter months, essentially doing just about anything to earn food to eat.

Now, taking a bite out of one of the apples that were given to him, he wanted nothing more than to get back to his tree before the moonless night arrived. Even with Naraku dead, it still wouldn't be safe to show himself on the one night when he was literally helpless.

It had been two weeks since Sesshomaru had taken him on that crazy trip, and he still didn't know if he should kill him for that or not. But at least maybe he'd stay away from him from now on. Inuyasha had to admit though; he wondered what Sesshomaru was going to tell him that day. It had almost seemed like he was trying to call a truce, but why would he want to do that? Even though Sesshomaru didn't need Tetsusaiga anymore, he wouldn't really want to be civil to his hanyou half-brother, would he? But still, who did he lose? Inuyasha couldn't help wondering. He didn't really know any of Sesshomaru's associates. Other than Jaken and Rin, he didn't know he had any. By the time he'd found out about Rin, they seemed like they'd been together for a while. Was it Rin's mother? Is that who Sesshomaru meant? Was it a human? What was it that Sesshomaru had said?

_Life with humans is the most fleeting of all._

Could Sesshomaru have loved a human?

No; impossible, Inuyasha answered his own question; almost laughing at the thought. He didn't know how Rin had ended up in his brother's life, but one thing he did know was that Sesshomaru would never love a human. But the question was still there. Who was it? Sesshomaru did say there was someone.

Inuyasha almost chuckled to himself, again. At least his preoccupation with Sesshomaru's lost love was keeping his mind off his own missing friends. He wondered if that was Sesshomaru's intention. Well, whether it was or wasn't, it had at least gotten him away from that well and he was actually trying to do something constructive with himself the last few days. That should at any rate keep Sesshomaru happy. Imagine that-Sesshomaru happy. Well at least his brother wouldn't have to worry about the hanyou bringing shame to him anymore.

There it was. Inuyasha spotted his tree in the distance and jumped just a little higher and leaped just a little further. The night was approaching fast, and he knew he didn't have much time left. But at least, he'd be there in just a few and then he could rest.

Glad to be back, Inuyasha climbed to the top of his tree, tied his satchel of food to one of the branches, then made sure the leaves draped completely over the sides as he hid himself behind them. Another night when he would turn human-alone. He remembered how he used to be surrounded by friends on these nights; Kagome with her sacred arrows, Miroku with his kazana and even Sango's hiraikotsu. But now, things were back to the way they used to be, he was alone and fending for himself. To tell you honestly, he hated it before and he hated it even more now. But that's how life was-his life anyway.

Inuyasha took a deep breath as his body began to change; jet black locks falling into his eyes and across his shoulders, replacing the white hair he used to have. Human teeth and no fangs; human looking fingernails and toenails replacing the claws he needed to save his life; and absolutely no youki to speak of. He knew his golden eyes were also gone, replaced by a harsh jet black gaze. Well, that's that, he thought; all he could do now was wait for morning.

With a settled resignation, the now human hanyou lifted one arm up behind his head and lay back against the tree branch, closing his eyes to sit back and wait. Another day was ending, and as usual on this night, he hoped it would be uneventful. But he knew he had a long night ahead of him before the dawn would arrive to reverse his change and he'd be a hanyou once more.

Settling back, Inuyasha hadn't been resting five minutes before he heard a slight rustling in the bushes beneath him. He tightened his grip on his Tetsusaiga. The sword was useless now, just a piece of crap that wouldn't even cut paper when he was human, but he could probably give whatever it was a good poke if need be. Whatever it was down there, he hoped it didn't find him up here. The last thing he needed was to be exposed at this time of night or in this condition.

Watching as the bushes fluttered to and fro, Inuyasha almost breathed a sigh of relief when he saw it was only Rin. Well he didn't have to fear her, that's for sure. But what was she doing out here so late? Inuyasha took a closer look as she reached down and tugged some kind of red flower up by its base. What the hell? Was she... picking flowers? It was so damned late; why was she doing that now? Surely Kaede-babaa was looking for her. Inuyasha looked out in the distance, but saw no-one; but he didn't exactly have his hanyou sense of sight anymore either. The old hag was probably somewhere close looking for the kid, he just couldn't see her. Ahh well, whether she was or she wasn't looking; that old priestess would surely find her soon enough and take her back inside; the girl was her and Sesshomaru's problem, not his.

Leaning back against his tree, Inuyasha hid his already securely hidden body. Well, he was in for the night now; or at least that's what he thought until he heard another faint rustling in the distance. Turning to look in the direction of the new sound, Inuyasha grew annoyed. "Ahh shit, not tonight. Not now." Damn, a giant serpent-eel youkai with tentacles hanging from its face and giant fangs dripping from its mouth; with its long tail-like body bumping and thumping its way across the ground, propelling him in _this_ direction.

Inuyasha turned and looked back down at Rin. She was still picking those damned flowers. From a distance, Inuyasha could now hear Kaede-babaa calling the young girl. Was she deaf? He wondered. She didn't even flinch. She'd better high-tail her ass outta there before that youkai heard her, or got any closer. Inuyasha turned back in the other direction, the problem was, though, that youkai was getting closer and Kaede-babaa wasn't getting close enough. Shit, this was the last thing he needed tonight, he thought. What was wrong with that stupid kid, anyway? He wondered growing irritated. Why didn't she hear Kaede-babaa calling her? Inuyasha looked around for some kind of stone or rock that he could toss in her direction, but damn it, he was in a tree. There were no rocks up here. Shit, that kid wouldn't have a chance against that damned youkai, but he couldn't exactly guarantee he'd come out undamaged in his current condition, either. But even if he managed to make it from that youkai, if anything happened to that stupid girl, his life wouldn't be worth shit anyway. Sesshomaru would kill him for sure for saying it would be okay to leave Rin with Kaede-babaa.

'Stupid old woman,' Inuyasha grumbled as he scrunched his face and raised himself to his toes, trying to balance lightly on the tree branch. Why would she let the kid come out so late at night anyway? Hell, it didn't matter now, that damned youkai was too close. He had to take action; there was nothing else to do. He'd have to straighten Kaede-babaa out first chance he got, but right now, he had to try to stop that damned youkai. If he didn't, that stupid kid would be youkai dinner. He certainly couldn't let a youkai eat her.

Inuyasha waited until the serpent-eel moved just a little closer. It's long body bumping and thumping its way toward his tree. Boy, he wished he was a hanyou now. That crazy brat had better appreciate this, he grumbled as he readied himself. This was going to have to be quick, and Rin had better get the hell out of there the moment he told her to.

Preparing himself mentally, if not physically, Inuyasha waited just a little longer, then sprang forward, his heart thumping wildly in his chest. Even as he moved, he had a sinking feeling this wasn't going to end well. And in truth, he wasn't talking about for the serpent-eel; for all he knew, it might end up having the best dinner it'd had in a long time.

"Rin run", Inuyasha screamed loudly as he leaped out of the tree, pulling his currently useless Tetsusaiga from its sheath and punching it hard against the youkai's back. But it didn't do a damned thing. What the hell was it made of? Steel? Then Inuyasha's fingers went immediately to the youkai's eyes, digging and clawing the softest spot on its body with his human fingernails. Without claws, they were nearly as useless as his Tetsusaiga, but he did manage a slight gouge; which was followed by a loud, ear deafening howl just before his and the youkai's body collided to the ground.

Surprise though his attack was, the youkai was more of a surprise to Inuyasha. He felt the tail end of the youkai's thick body snap forward, hitting him squarely on the head, knocking him back against his tree. The youkai serpent-eel flipped around with more speed than his lengthy body should have allowed, and headed straight for him. He had barely managed to roll to his side, when the youkai's giant fanged mouth snapped closed only inches from where his head had been. Inuyasha suddenly felt a heavy thump against the side of his head that felt like it had cracked it open. Looking up, he saw Rin screaming for help and firing large rocks in his direction. Well something had finally gotten that stupid kid's attention, even if she was probably doing more damage to his head than she did to the youkai. Kaede-babaa, at least, seemed to be getting closer, though.

Grabbing the serpent-eel around its long, thick neck, Inuyasha squeezed as hard as he could; again seeking out the youkai's eyes and jabbing at it with his Tetsusaiga; but in his current human form, the stupid sword wouldn't cut anything. What he'd accomplished, was no more than a prick that clearly angered the youkai serpent; because it violently shook his entire body, sending Inuyasha flying off its back, crashing into the base of his tree yet again, then flew directly toward him planting a flash of dagger-like fangs into his shoulder.

Releasing an almighty howl, Inuyasha jabbed the youkai with Tetsusaiga's dull blade just before the youkai's fangs found his abdomen. The burn of something foreign in his veins had nothing to do with the pain of the youkai's fangs, and Inuyasha's vision swam with surprise for a moment. Miasma? Well, of course, the damned shit was poisonous. What else should he have expected?

"Damn Tetsusaiga. And I don't even have any claws." He grumbled then turned his head toward Rin, who screamed a steady howl in search of assistance, as she defiantly threw large, seemingly boulder sized rocks at the giant youkai. "Run Rin, damn it," Inuyasha ordered as he reached for a log he saw nearby and landed a hefty, resounding blow against the youkai's bulky skull. If he was going to die here, then that stupid girl had better be safe; but he could still hear her screaming for help as he tussled with that serpent-eel. It was merely a low-level youkai, but in his current human state, even this youkai was more than enough for him to handle. The one good thing he could think of was that at least Kaede-babaa's and some other voices seemed to be getting closer. He probably would have been grateful if he'd been able to think beyond the moment, but unfortunately, he wasn't able to think beyond the feel of the fangs as it pierced his left arm, then seemed to make its way toward his chest. He'd been hurt many times as a hanyou, but he never recalled any pain as bad as this, he thought as he tried to stifle a howl.

Shit, being eaten by a damned youkai was no fun; no fun at all.

As his knees buckled, his eyes wide with the knowledge of his ultimate death; Inuyasha heard Rin scream.

_"Inuyasha-saa-a-n! I'm so sorry."_

What? So now she was sorry? A hell of a thing to have to think about as he died.

Inuyasha heard a familiar twanging sound then felt the thud of the youkai's body as it collapsed onto his chest. Well, if it hadn't had enough to eat, it was certainly going to crush him to death, just for the hell of it. Because with all the poison he'd absorbed; Inuyasha had no strength to push the damned thing off. The youkai's bites had made some big wholes in him. He could feel its poison rushing through his body. Cursing softy under his breath, he grumbled. All because of Sesshomaru's brat, he was done for.

"Well Sesshomaru, this is a hell of a revenge for your left arm, but it looks like you've gotten what you wanted all along," he barely gasped out.

In his human form, he knew there was no way he would ever survive this. And he was certain of that when his eyes overflowed with a blackness never before seen, his lids growing heavy and closing, his body slowly slipping into the pull of death.

* * *

Sesshomaru pushed aside the miko's door covering, entered the hut and assessed the scene before him. The air whirled with a potent mixture of youkai poison and human blood but he saw no threat. He had heard Rin's screams carried on the wind, but even as fast as he was, by the time he got to the spot where her screams had originated, they were gone and so he had followed her scent here.

The corners of the room flickered with fuel burned lights, casting a golden glimmer across the individuals in the hut while large, flowing shadows danced against the walls and floors. The miko knelt beside some bedding stretched out on the floor. Rin with tear filled eyes, sobbed as she knelt beside her. He was pleased to see she was undamaged. Someone unknown to him knelt at the head of another apparently unknown wounded human who lay on the bedding. Other than a main of tousled, long, jet black hair, Sesshomaru could not see the victim's face, but then he did not have to because he did not care. From the scent of blood and poison permeating the air and the limited breathing he heard, he knew the human was not long for this world.

Sensing an intensely powerful youkai presence behind her, Kaede quickly twisted her body reaching for her arrows as she scrambled to see who had entered.

"Stay your weapon, miko," Sesshomaru warned firmly, raising a single slender hand to stop her. It amazed him how foolish humans could be.

"Sesshomaru why.., how did you...?" Kaede asked as she pulled back, her old heart thumping loudly in her chest, she wondered if he could hear it. If he was the type that showed any emotion, she was certain he would be smiling at the thought that he could probably make her keel over simply by his mere presence. Kaede knew that having such a powerful daiyoukai freely entering her home, would one day be the death of her, one way or another.

"I heard Rin scream," he explained with a cold determined glare, not quite sure what to make of the sight before him. Rin's screams had brought him there, but he saw no threat to match the terror he'd heard in her voice. Other than her tears, Rin appeared uninjured. There were no signs of wounds or blood on her anywhere. She seemed to be crying for the dying human. Why? He knew not. Whatever happened had clearly ended, but how had it affected Rin?

"Oh Lord Sesshomaru," Rin remained on her knees, childish fists balled tight against her tear-stained face as she looked upward.

Sesshomaru directed his attention toward her.

"I tried to get you some flowers, but a youkai tried to get me" she rushed and choked between sobs. "Inuyasha-san tried to get the youkai, but the youkai got him, and now," her tears flowed freely; "Inuyasha-san is going to die. Oh Lord Sesshomaru," she choked again wiping her face in the sleeve of her kimono; "please, please don't let him die."

Rin's words were rushed and breathless, but Sesshomaru understood fully what she had said. He turned with slightly more interest toward the victim. Kaede lowered her head and slid to the side, providing him a better view. Sesshomaru's eyes widened involuntarily, as he glimpsed the wounded victim. It was him; Inuyasha; in human form and he was dying.

* * *

Hello: So here's my latest update, hopefully good things to come. Please leave feedback. Hope you enjoy!

daiyoukai - (great demon lord)  
haha-ue - (mother)  
haori - (outter shirt top)  
heko-obi - (sash)  
hiraikotsu - (bone that flies back)  
inu daiyoukai - (great dog demon lord)  
kazana - (wind tunnel)  
miasma - (poison  
one-san - (sister) )  
miko - (priestess)  
shikon no tama - (sacred jewel of four souls)  
tsuka - (hilt)  
youki - (demon power)


	4. Chapter 4 Tenseiga's Silence

Okay, last time, Inuyasha had been poisoned by a serpent-eel youkai, but Sesshomaru arrived after hearing Rin's screams, will he save Inuyasha with his Tenseiga?

**殺生丸 ＆ 犬夜叉****: ****きょうだい イン 甲鉄****  
Sesshomaru & Inuyasha: Kyoudai in Kōtetsu  
Sesshomaru & Inuyasha: Brothers in Arms**

**章 ****4 – ****天生牙 **静寂**  
Sho 4 – Tenseiga 's S**hijima**  
Chapter 4 – Tenseiga's Silence **

_"So, he has saved Rin and killed himself; foolish hanyou."_

Sesshomaru could not help thinking how little he understood of the hanyou lying before him looking so pathetic and weak, and perhaps even a little misdirected in his priorities. Was he suicidal? Did he simply wish to die? To tackle a youkai in his current form without a weapon was thoroughly senseless.

He remembered the last time he had seen him in that form less than three years ago when they were fighting Mouryoumaru; he had cared not if he had killed him, himself. So how had he not recognized his scent now? Probably because he had done his best to forget it.

Despite his constant references to Inuyasha's hanyou state, the youkai lord had not given much thought to the actual implications; his defenselessness. Should he care? From the events of a couple of weeks ago, it was clear they would never be able to air their differences. Besides, he had thought he was dead long before when he was sealed by the miko's sister. Would it matter if there was one less hanyou in the world now? No, one less hanyou with human-tinged blood would matter to no-one.

But this one; Sesshomaru's thoughts paused as he studied the wounded victim; this one was his chichi-ue's second son. The son his chichi-ue had died protecting. As much as he had always detested that fact in the past; Sesshomaru now acknowledged the truth of it and he had begun to accept it. Despite his personal conflicts regarding his chichi-ue's death, perhaps he always had. So why is it that seeing the hanyou in this form, again stirred up his old hatred? Had he not abandoned them along with his desire to obtain the Tetsusaiga? Had not the events of the past couple of years made him aware of his chichi-ue's desire for his two sons to fight together and not each other? Had he not tried to bridge the gap between them not two weeks earlier? It had not gone as he had intended, but he had made the effort. Had he not? Does his form now matter? Is he not the same hanyou that he was two weeks ago?

But, Sesshomaru's thoughts paused again; was it truly the hanyou he despised or his weakness; that human weakness that was sprawled out before him in all its sorted glory? Despite his uncertainty, Sesshomaru directed a questioning, yet still slightly widened gaze toward the miko.

Kaede shook her head briefly before responding. "There's naught I can do, the poison has spread too quickly." Her despondent words and expression seemed to unleash Rin's tears once more. She began to cry with abandon.

"Let me see him," Sesshomaru directed.

Kaede pushed aside the covering to reveal Inuyasha's ravaged body.

The miko had hurriedly layered his wounds with clumps of rags to soak up the blood and any poison they could absorb, but the blood seeped forward in a deluge. Though both of his sides, his face and his neck were severely injured, the hanyou's left side had taken the most damage. Despite the rags the miko had managed to throw across him, his arms and shoulders were covered in wounds, while the youkai's poison flowed purplish-black just beneath the skin protruding beyond them. It was traveling fast. Sesshomaru knew the hanyou's chances of survival were likely non-existent in his current form. "How long before he reverts to his hanyou self?"

"Not 'til morning," Kaede said reflectively, looking down at Inuyasha's unconscious body. Ever since he had been reawakened, she had long since thought he would outlive her. "But I'm not sure he'll make it until then." She added almost as an afterthought, "He's already lived longer than any normal human would have in this condition."

Sesshomaru reached for his Tenseiga, but pulled back slowly, closing his fingers around open air. His mouth grew tight, his expression a frozen mask. Tenseiga remained silent. As far gone as he was already, Sesshomaru knew Inuyasha needed help, but could it be? Tenseiga would not heal him? The youkai lord looked down at his sword almost in puzzled disbelief. Why would it not? Without his hanyou powers, he would never survive that poison. If he let him die, would Tenseiga bring him back then? This was a healing sword, was it not? The sword remained staunchly silent.

Sesshomaru studied Inuyasha intently; he could scent his human blood coursing through his veins. He could scent his impending death suspended heavy in the air.

_"What is this chichi-ue? I do not understand."_ Sesshomaru found himself wondering contemptuously to himself; as he narrowed his brows and looked down to study the dying hanyou. _"Is this another test for I, Sesshomaru? If there was any reason for me to be left Tenseiga, I would believe this was it. But if he cannot be saved by your fang, does that mean I must save him with mine?"_

The youkai lord did not like the thought of that; to save the hanyou with his own fangs-despicable. He was not worthy.

"Inuyasha-saaaaan," Rin began to whimper again.

Sesshomaru turned his head and fixed a narrow golden gaze upon her. He could see her once lively brown eyes, turning red with tears. He could hear her heart pulsing in her body. He could scent the tears that scalded her eyes as she cried for this hanyou. He could scent her blood boiling in anguish-her human blood.

Sesshomaru knew if Inuyasha was going to live; it would be up to him, alone. As much as he hated the thought, it would have to be him that saved him; repulsive though it may be. Though he looked human, he was still his brother; still part youkai; and it appeared that only youkai healing treatments would save him now.

"Please, pleeeaaase don't die," Rin wailed, interrupting his thoughts once more. "I don't want you to die. I'm so sorry."

The hanyou had killed himself to save her-a human. And now Rin suffered because of it. Was this a question of the heart? Or something else? When he walked his lands alone, the youkai lord had concerned himself not with issues such as this. But now, something within him told him his chichi-ue would never forgive him for letting this hanyou die; for letting his brother die. He refused to allow himself think whether he would forgive himself.

"Jaken," Sesshomaru turned slightly and called across his shoulder, "Take Rin outside."

"Yes me lord," Jaken responded, scurrying toward the child and grabbing her by the arm. "Come Rin, you're in the way."

"No, I want to stay," she resisted, pushing stubbornly at his hand, fighting to stay her ground, her eyes overflowing.

"Rin," Sesshomaru issued no commands, simply eyed her firmly.

Looking up momentarily, Rin slowly lowered her head in despair. "Yes, my lord," she sniffled, acknowledging his commanding will and finally complying meekly, but her tears continued to flow.

Sesshomaru strode across to the foot of the bed where Rin had knelt to better ascertain the condition of the young hanyou. He looked down his nose at the sight before him. To die like this, ridiculous, he thought. Was he or was he not the son of a daiyoukai? Inuyasha had been successful in his pursuit of Naraku, only to die at the hands of some low-level youkai, impossible!

"Give me the room," he ordered as was his custom, looking not at Kaede, but at the unknown male who knelt above his brother's head. He could not help but wonder why Inuyasha would allow so many to see him in this form. Surely he knew how dangerous this could be. But if he could not save him, would his choices truly matter?

"Anything else ye require?" Kaede replied, refraining from adding the submissive 'my lord' as a sarcastic ending. She was certain his arrogance would allow him to think she was indeed genuine. Though humiliated and annoyed to be so aggressively ordered from her own hut, Kaede pushed herself up and began to retreat. It made no sense to argue with this inu daiyoukai, he could probably dispatch of her without a thought. Besides, if Sesshomaru could save Inuyasha, she'd best let him.

"Miko," Sesshomaru called, just before she had reached the door. He did not bother to lift his head from the object of his scrutiny as he issued the following words. "The beads around his neck, they are an enchanted rosary are they not?"

Kaede turned back toward Inuyasha. The beads were there so long, she'd completely forgotten about them. "Yes."

"What do they do?" Sesshomaru asked with a demeanor that belied any true interest. He had clearly already made up his mind regarding any possible value they may or may not possess.

"They calm," Kaede paused as she considered whether to answer or not, then resigned herself, "his demonic nature."

"Calm... his demonic nature?" Sesshomaru blinked with disbelief, echoing her words with disgust as he analyzed the true meaning of them. Whipping his ahead around to face her, he glared with an icy golden stare. It was reasons such as these that his tolerance of most humans was so low. Inuyasha, though, seemed to prefer them. Sesshomaru decided not to question her further; he was certain she would not provide answers he would care to know. "Remove them," he commanded with a slight show of fangs as he dispensed a glare that should have frozen the miko in her tracks. "This hanyou's life is not meant for your simple pleasures."

He knew not their full spiritual nature, and honestly he cared not. His main point of disgust is that no brother of his should be so controlled and certainly not by humans. As for him, being a full youkai it was best he made no contact with beads that had been prayed upon.

Kaede knew immediately from his words and tone that Sesshomaru had absolutely no regard for anyone in the village; herself included; despite the fact that he had left Rin in her care. But she'd known that all along, he had simply regarded her as a means to an end; a place to keep the child until he could find something better. He had made it plain that Rin's stay would only be temporary. But this sudden display of distaste for humans was it truly from concern for Inuyasha? Did he in truth, actually care for his brother in a way, even he didn't know? Should it matter to her if he did? But even still, should she remove the beads? Kaede wondered. But did that even matter anymore? If she didn't remove them, the blessing on them might be dangerous to a full youkai; besides, this daiyoukai was not someone she should or even could refuse.

Resigning herself, Kaede uttered a few words of incantation as the beads disappeared from Inuyasha's neck, then reappeared in her hands. Turning her body, she headed sheepishly toward the door. She could imagine what Sesshomaru was thinking as his gaze seemed to burn a hole into her back; or even worst, maybe she couldn't.

Turning toward the victim once more, Sesshomaru narrowed his eyes in disgust at the sight before him. He stared at him hard for a moment, his expression blank as he intently studied the hanyou's human form. His golden eyes slowly traversed the length of his body, taking in the sight of the wounds covering him. "Human, how can you be my brother? How have you even survived so long?" Sesshomaru demanded aloud, disgusted with the vision before him; but suddenly his golden gaze narrowed and softened as he thought back. This was still his chichi-ue's son. Other than the piece of metal hanging from his hip, this was the last remnant of his legacy.

Sesshomaru looked at the hanyou anew. His chichi-ue had died protecting him. Had died protecting his mother. Why had he done that? Lately, since the time he had enhanced Tenseiga's killing ability, he had found his thoughts of those events difficult to bear. Though he feared no one, he feared where his thoughts could lead. And he was certain it was a place he did not wish to travel.

"Well Inuyasha," Sesshomaru murmured, taking a deep breath. "You will owe your elder brother your life when this is over," his eyes narrowing in harsh scrutiny as he looked down into the face of his unconscious brother. "Youkai have formed life-time alliances for less than that. That is the youkai way. What will you do?" He wondered as he untied the heko-obi circling his waist and slipped out his Bakusaiga and Tenseiga.

_Perhaps all was not lost after all,_ Sesshomaru thought silently to himself, his lips curving ever so slightly as he studied the hanyou lying at his feet.

Hello: Here's my latest update, hopefully good things to come. Please provide feedback. Hope you enjoy!

daiyoukai - (great demon lord)  
haha-ue - (mother)  
haori - (outer shirt top)  
heko-obi - (sash)  
hiraikotsu - (bone that flies back)  
inu daiyoukai - (great dog demon lord)  
kazana - (wind tunnel)  
miasma - (poison  
one-san - (sister) )  
miko - (priestess)  
shikon no tama - (sacred jewel of four souls)  
tsuka - (hilt)  
youki - (demon power)


	5. Chapter 5 Can He Be Saved

**A/N: Last time, Sesshomaru realized that his Tenseiga would not save Inuyasha's life and he would have to utilize youkai healing methods if the young hanyou would have any chance of surviving, but what are those methods? Also, why wouldn't Tenseiga work? Is it truly a healing sword, or is it a sword that simply enables the wielder to restore the life of the dead? Well, if it is the latter, maybe that explains it, Inuyasha is not yet dead.**

**Sesshomaru & Inuyasha: Kyoudai in Kōtetsu  
Sesshomaru & Inuyasha: Brothers in Arms**

Shō 5 - Yoroshii Anokata Nari Sukū  
Chapter 5 - Can He Be Saved? 

The youkai lord studied the hanyou lying at his feet. When he had made that vow to make peace, he had not anticipated this. To save the hanyou by such means was not acceptable; but if he did not, there was no chance for his survival. If he did not save him, it would be a betrayal to his chichi-ue. But would that truly matter? No, it would not. But to allow his death, would be a betrayal of his own pride. That, he could not allow. He had made a solemn vow that he could not betray. He was a youkai of honor and he could not allow such an occurrence. This hanyou may well not be worthy, but he had vowed that he would make peace. To allow the hanyou to die now was not acceptable.

Resigning himself, Sesshomaru took a deep breath as he decided he had no other options. If the hanyou was to live, it would have to be him that saved him.

Now that he had decided to do this, he knew he would be in for a long night and flared his youki to conceal his mokomoko, then removed his sword and haramaki and rested them beside a nearby wall. Taking a quick look around, the youkai lord spotted a pail with water and a cloth beside the hanyou's body. He continued to scour the room and spotted another pail on a nearby shelf. It was a medium sized room with little more than bare essentials; bedding, bed coverings, some bindings for bandages, a couple of tatami mats, a table with a carafe of water, several tin cups, a couple of shelves with supplies, a fire pit with a pile of wood beside it and some oil based lighting.

Picking up some of the bed coverings, the youkai lord moved it closer toward the hanyou's form. The current ones were already blood soaked. He would change it once he'd sealed the wounds. Settling in for a lengthy, time consuming process, Sesshomaru began to work. First, he would have to drain out as much of the poison as he could. That should at least reduce the poison's impact on the hanyou's body, enabling him to survive until the sun rose and he was able to revert back. But Sesshomaru had no idea whether the current fragile state of the hanyou's body would enable him to withstand the process of having the poison sucked out of him at all. But there was nothing else that could be done. Bandaging him the way the miko had done had been of no benefit.

More serenely than anyone would have thought him capable, considering the situation and his innate reluctance, Sesshomaru sat cross-legged beside his patient, then angled his body and laid the hanyou's head on his lap as he used a wet cloth to first wipe the sweat and blood from Inuyasha's brows, then to clean the wounds. Once cleaned, he placed him in a sitting position to provide himself better access to the poison. Protruding his fangs to a slightly more extended length, Sesshomaru leaned forward and pierced Inuyasha's soft human flesh with his incisors, sucked the poison from beneath the skin then expelled it into the pail he'd retrieved.

"Hmmph, so that's it, is it? I should have known." Sesshomaru could not help thinking the moment the mixture of poison and blood entered his mouth and touched his tongue. Even though Inuyasha's form appeared fully human, the youkai lord realized the scent of his brother's blood was as deceptive now as it had been when he had been overtaken by his youkai blood. At that time his blood had scented like their chichi-ue's and his own. Now he appeared to be fully human, and his blood scented fully human, but neither case was true. Even Sesshomaru's sensitive nose had not detected the scent of his brother's youkai blood flowing through him; just like before when he had not detected his human blood; but with his blood having flowed through his mouth, it was clear his youkai blood still flowed within him. Sesshomaru now understood more fully the depths of his brother's internal conflict; he was truly neither human nor youkai. But he also knew it was for this reason, the hanyou still lived.

For the next several hours, Sesshomaru continued with his actions of piercing the skin and sucking out the poison until he had accomplished all he could; then carefully and securely wrapped the hanyou's upper torso with the bindings he found in the small hut. Moving his patient to the floor, he changed from the blood-stained bedding to fresh clean, ones, then lay the hanyou down again, gently. Any remaining poison would have to be sweated out, but that could not happen until Inuyasha reverted. It would still be another two or more hours before that occurred. His body was still too weak in its current condition and needed time to recuperate from the amount of poison that had been removed.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Lord Sesshomaru, did you use Tenseiga to revive Inuyasha?" Jaken asked when Sesshomaru exited the hut. The little youkai, Rin and the miko were sitting outside waiting. The miko appeared to have fallen asleep. Rin sat beside her with her head on her lap.

"It did not work," Sesshomaru answered flatly; barely directing a golden eye down at him.

"What? It didn't work, so how...?"

"Is Inuyasha-san better now?" Rin chimed in.

"Not yet. He still requires rest," Sesshomaru said as he elevated himself into the air. "Jaken, I need fresh water," he directed down to the little youkai. "I will return by sun up."

"Lord Sesshomaru," Jaken called to no one. "Where are you going?"

Sesshomaru was already gone. There were low-level youkai that needed to be destroyed.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The youkai lord returned to the hut approximately one half hour before the sun was scheduled to rise. Jaken, Rin and Kaede still sat on the porch outside and he arrived just in time to hear the tail end of Rin's conversation with Jaken.

"You must be wrong," Rin insisted, pulling on the little youkai's arm; shaking his torso with the strength of her weight. "Lord Sesshomaru _must_ like Inuyasha-san, Master Jaken. Why else would he save him? He didn't want him to die."

"You foolish girl, I told you, Lord Sesshomaru doesn't care at all about that stupid hanyou, he probably just..."

"Jaken," Sesshomaru blared, silencing the little youkai.

"Awww, yes me lord?" Jaken directed his large, round yellow gaze toward his master; then picking up his lord's annoyed glare rose to follow Sesshomaru into the hut; his staff of two heads in tow. What had he done now? He knew from his tone of voice, that his master was not pleased. But that had been the case lately, why should it be any different now?

"Lord Sesshomaru," Rin called softly, "We let Inuyasha-san rest like you said, but can Rin help?"

"Not yet, he is still weak. He requires a special kind of care."

"Oh, yes my lord," she said then laid her head on Kaede's lap. "But please let Rin know when she can help." The weary look in her eyes was a clear sign that she had not rested since the incident.

"Rin, you should sleep. It will be quite some time before Inuyasha awakens," Sesshomaru said, as the miko opened her eyes.

"I'll take her to one of the empty buildings," Kaede said as she stumbled to her feet and took Rin by the hand. Yawning, the young girl followed obediently.

Entering the room, Sesshomaru once again flared his youki to conceal his mokomoko; then removed his haramaki and swords, resting them against a wall. Finally, he moved toward the room's small brick fire pit and prepared to build a fire.

"Me Lord?" Jaken asked with a touch of fear suspended on the edge of his voice. For some reason, waiting for his punishment always seemed worse than actually receiving it.

"Do not call him a hanyou in that tone in front of Rin."

"Huh? What tone should I use me lord?" Jaken stared with utter amazement.

Sesshomaru gave him a sharp look.

"Aww!" Jaken cowered, his hands flying up to shield his face; a position he maintained for the next couple of minutes. "Are you all right me Lord?" he finally asked, when he realized his lord was not going to punish him; but stared in wild-eyed puzzlement as he watched him continuously tossing logs into the fire pit. "You should not sully yourself so."

"You can leave Jaken," Sesshomaru replied brusquely.

"Mmmmh?" Jaken muttered at the abrupt dismissal. "Yes me Lord," he said as he turned to leave, his little feet plopping lightly along the wooden floor; he felt like the world as he knew it had changed forever and it had all started with that foolish human girl.

Despite not particularly looking forward to the act of serving as Inuyasha's nursemaid, Sesshomaru finished stacking a mound of wood into the fire pit, then cast a short strand of the whip-like energy from his fingertips to ignite the logs. Having never seen it, he was now curious about his brother's transformation and waited, knowing the sun would soon rise, despite the room darkening covers.

A few minutes later, the transformation began. With an unusual amount of interest, the youkai lord locked his golden gaze on the hanyou and watched while his brother's body began to change back to its more recognizable hanyou state. The jet black locks were replaced by its customary brilliant white ones, his human fingernails and toenails replaced by his extruding claws. Though unseen because of his closed mouth and eyes, Sesshomaru knew his fangs and eye color had also reverted to normal. He was surprised to see it was such a smooth and easy transformation, no spark of youkai or anything.

Within minutes, the heat from the furnace began to build; before long, the room would become unbearable; far too much heat for a warm day, much more than would have been bearable by a mere human; but it was required for Inuyasha's recovery.

Reaching across his brother's still unconscious body, Sesshomaru wrapped him securely with blankets he had placed nearby and retrieved the wet cloth from the pail of fresh water Jaken had provided. After wringing it out, Sesshomaru brushed the damp cloth across Inuyasha's forehead to remove more drying blood and help keep the sweat from building.

For hours on end, Sesshomaru tended to him, keeping his forehead and chest cool, while pouring water from a carafe into his palm and rubbing it across his lips.

After nearly a full day of careful attention, Inuyasha finally began to stir just barely; reacting to the excess heat as his body began expelling the remaining poison. Rivulets of water poured from his forehead as he began tossing restlessly. His skin burned inside and out as deep moans emitted themselves from his throat.

Sesshomaru was interrupted by a small voice that had entered the room. "Lord Sesshomaru, is Inuyasha-san better yet?" He looked up, turning his head across his shoulder and could see the evening sky dancing black across her shoulder, as Rin poked her head through the partially open door covering. He had been so absorbed in this brother's care he had not even realized how much time had elapsed.

He focused his attention on her. "He has not awakened."

"Oh," Rin said, with clear disappointment echoing in her voice. "Can Master Jaken and Rin help?"

"Not now, it is too hot and the heat will make you sick," Sesshomaru said watching as her little forehead and the bridge of her nose already began to show beads of perspiration clumping in tiny ringlets. "You can help when he awakens."

"Oh," Rin said still obviously disappointed.

Sesshomaru noted that the light usually seen in her bright brown eyes had not been there since he had arrived. It had been replaced by signs of pain and guilt. He wondered why that bothered him.

"Don't forget to call us when he wakes," Rin added then turned and departed wiping her forehead with the sleeve of her kimono. In those few minutes the heat had been too much for her to bear.

Sesshomaru was aware that she knew of Inuyasha's injuries, but he had no desire to tell her that the hanyou was not just merely asleep; it would not do for him to give her more bad news; especially since he had no idea whether he would be able to save him. If he could not, she would find out soon enough. The hanyou was neither youkai nor human, and his body reacted like neither. The youkai lord did not really know what to expect.

The evening crept along, and Inuyasha continued to toss and sweat and Sesshomaru knew he was fighting to stave off the infection. His breathing remained erratic and forced. His throat was clearly swelling as he coughed, fighting to suck in air.

Inuyasha tossed with feverish turmoil. He shivered and sweated and shivered some more. He struggled to breathe as his throat swelled within him. He was becoming even more delirious, but at least in his hanyou state he now had a fighting chance and he was fighting. Sesshomaru narrowed his eyes as he observed his brother's struggles, but continued his efforts to keep his forehead, face and neck dry and lips lubricated as Inuyasha continued for the next few hours to toss restlessly.

As the hours passed, Sesshomaru was surprised that even in his hanyou state; recovery was still so difficult for him. He studied him with even more interest as the hanyou's head tossed restlessly against the pillows. The youkai lord studied the pale lips pulled tight with pain. He hated seeing him like this. Not because he agonized with him, but because he hated weakness altogether. Could this truly be the son of a daiyoukai? Could this truly be the hanyou that had cut off his left arm; had nearly killed him when he had mastered Tetsusaiga? Could this be the hanyou that had been so instrumental in the death of Naraku?

Sesshomaru's own lips tightened as he surmised it was because the attack had occurred in the hanyou's human form. He had clearly absorbed so much poison then and now his hanyou body fought to correct damage from the past. This hanyou would not ordinarily have taken so long to begin to recover from such low-level youkai miasma would he? But in truth, was his recovery that unreasonable, or was it simply this Sesshomaru? Was the fact that he was sitting here caring for him, too much to bear? Did it make him think too much of all the times he had left him alone? Did it make him regret the times when he, himself, had attempted to kill him? And for what? A sword? Sesshomaru's lips tightened more.

Once again, he was interrupted by the soft quiet question, "Is Inuyasha-san better yet my lord?" Now, a new morning's sun burned bright behind her; as a slight morning breeze bristled in the rear. With the room darkening coverings, the youkai lord had once more lost track of time.

"It will still take time," he said, hating the thought of dispensing such disappointing news to her.

"Oh," Rin responded with a clear sense of disappointment engulfing her. "Can Rin help?"

Her persistence reminded him of the time she had tried to rescue him, at that time he had been dispassionate and had refused her assistance. He did not enjoy refusing her this time.

"If you enter and leave quickly so the heat does not make you sick," the youkai lord began, resigning himself to the lesser of two evils; either let her assist in some small way, or continue to be an indirect source of causing her pain. "You may take this pail and ask the miko to help you get fresh water." The water retrieved by Jaken was already tinged a pale pink from the blood absorbed from the uncovered wounds on Inuyasha's face and neck. "I have to keep Inuyasha wet so he does not dry out."

"Yes my lord," Rin said clearly delighted to be of assistance, as she scooted into the room, retrieved the pail then quickly departed.

Sesshomaru studied the hanyou as his head tossed jerkily against the pillow. Pools of water continued to slide down his forehead. His breathing remained choppy and erratic as his body trembled. The surface of his skin nearly boiled from the heat beneath his own flesh. Inuyasha's eyes rolled opened, then closed beneath his feverish eyelids. Sesshomaru grew angered at the thought that his continued comatose state worried Rin so. It had been three full days, and he was still far from recovery. He had to do more to push forth his recuperation.

"Here's the water my lord," Rin said scooting back into the room and replacing the pail in its original spot. She stopped for a moment to study Inuyasha; his face wet from sweat, his dark lashes clumped in batches as his body shivered and shook, a stark contrast to the motionless hanyou she had seen before and knew was dying. "Ohh, he's moving, is Inuyasha san going to wake up soon my lord?"

"Right now, Inuyasha's body does not know how to wake up," Sesshomaru said looking at her, then lifting his palm to wipe beads of perspiration from her forehead. He knew his explanation had offered no insight to what was wrong with Inuyasha; but it made little sense to explain to her that the hanyou was dying and his body was nearly useless to him. "Because of his sickness, his body is fighting against itself. It cannot remember many things, because the poison made it forget."

"But you'll make him better?" she looked at Sesshomaru with large brown pleading eyes. "You won't let him die?"

"No, I will not let him die," Sesshomaru shook his head to keep sweat from flooding his own eyes. "I will help him remember what he has forgotten."

"Thank you my lord. Please let Rin know when he is better," she said leaving the room, tears once again coating her eyes as she wiped them with her finger, then again wiped beads of perspiration in the sleeve of her kimono.

Sesshomaru watched as she departed. He hated the anguish he saw on her face. He hated Inuyasha for putting it there. How could he remain so close to death from such low-level youkai miasma? Did they, or did they not share the same blood?

_Their blood!_

That was it. Sesshomaru realized as he snapped his head around to study the hanyou.

That was essentially where their differences lie. And Sesshomaru knew, there was only one thing remaining that could possibly save the hanyou now. But would it help him or hurt him. Their chichi-ue's youkai blood had sent him on a killing spree. Would his do the same? He may well try, but there was no way he would get past this daiyoukai. If he did not do this, from the looks of him, it could take another three or four days for him to begin to fully recover. In his current state, Sesshomaru was not even certain he would. But, he refused to let Rin worry for that long. He refused to watch him die for that long.

The youkai lord retrieved his sword and slit deeply into the palm of his hand, arched Inuyasha's neck once more, squeezing some of his own youkai blood into his throat, then gently massaged it. His pure youkai blood should help him fight the infection faster. Even if he reverted to his pure demon form; that pure blood surging through his veins would help cure him for certain. Sesshomaru followed this by pouring fresh water into one of the tin cups and forcing a little of it into Inuyasha's mouth, then gently massaged his throat once more to get him to swallow, slowly.

Sliding his tongue across his own wound, Sesshomaru blew his breath to seal and heal it as he waited.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Approximately two hours later, Inuyasha's body began jerking and thrashing violently. His hands gripped at then shot out from beneath the bed coverings and his youki sparked and crackled as his breathing grew heavy and jerky; not unlike an animal trapped in a cage, fighting to escape. Noting the transformation had begun, Sesshomaru immediately locked his arms around Inuyasha's upper body and arms, pinning him against his chest.

A set of jagged magenta markings appeared on each side of the hanyou's face and another set appeared across his shoulders, down his biceps and ended at his forearm. His fangs protruded long and sharp as his claws grew deadlier and gripped at empty air. He was too securely pinned to do much else. His eyes sprang open momentarily, glowing a vibrant red with grayed pupils as they opened-wild and fierce. Upon seeing the intensity of his brother's struggles, Sesshomaru forced the hanyou down to his back locking his wrists in his palms; gripped by his long slender fingers, then straddled his legs across his chest and placed his ankles across his legs for greater advantage. Inuyasha would do nothing but reopen his wounds if allowed to struggle so freely.

Holding him down with his steel-like grip, Sesshomaru watched as the hanyou twisted, squirmed and growled viciously beneath him; but he was going nowhere. The youkai lord's silver white locks danced briskly across the hanyou's chest as he fought to keep him restrained. He was completely and utterly senseless. Overwhelmed by his own youkai blood; instigated by the blood he received from his brother; his only living kin. His struggles were great indeed.

The youkai lord and the hanyou wrestled for control for what seemed an eternity. For someone who was dying only moments before, he exhibited considerably more energy than Sesshomaru would have thought him capable of; until finally about 45 minutes later, his struggles subsided and his head fell backward; his body slumping into absolute stillness, as if he had been knocked completely senseless; but he'd had no true control at all. His red eyes flashed open as they evolved to golden, then closed but opened again only briefly as his breathing began to level off. His fever was finally starting to break.

Sesshomaru looked down into Inuyasha's partially opened eyes that seemed to look directly into his own. But he knew the hanyou saw nothing. Taking a deep breath, he moved off his brother's chest and brushed aside strands of wet white hair. Inuyasha was still oblivious of his surroundings, but the fact that his breathing was now stronger and he'd opened his eyes was a sign that he would soon be stronger.

Brushing back strands of his own silver white locks clumped from the sweat he himself emitted trapped in this furnace of hell, Sesshomaru continued to bathe Inuyasha's forehead and forced him to drink more water, while his eyes rolled slightly and his lids closed. Inuyasha slept, then woke monetarily, then slept again. Throughout the day he continued doing the same. The day had passed and another night was creeping along.

By the time the sun rose again, the hanyou's breathing had finally grown steadier, and he began to sleep peacefully for the first time; a sign that the youkai miasma that had infected his body was finally gone. After remaining by his side for a while longer to assure himself of a steady recovery, Sesshomaru decided he had done all he could, the remainder was up to Inuyasha's desire to live. Giving Inuyasha's forehead a final tender stroke with the wet cloth to remove the damp hair from his face, Sesshomaru rose, put out the fire, retrieved and replaced his haramaki and swords; flared his youki to unseal his mokomoko and departed the hut. It was late afternoon; four days had passed since he had begun assisting the hanyou.

"Oh Lord Sesshomaru is Inuyasha-san all right now?" Rin asked, lifting her head from Kaede's lap, and rubbing her eyes when Sesshomaru had joined them outside. Apparently, they had once again made the miko's porch their home. She had apparently heard the thump of his boot against the wooden planks. He wondered if she had slept at all.

"The poison is out of his body," Sesshomaru said to the miko, as he drank in the cool summer noon air, a gentle breeze circling and cooling his heated skin. Then he turned to Rin, "he is asleep and needs rest but he will be fine. You can help the miko when he awakens."

"Thank you my lord," Rin stood upright with a considerably more grateful look on her face than she had exhibited the last couple of days. "I'm so glad Inuyasha-san is not going to die."

"Rin, you should sleep now," Sesshomaru said, sounding rather fatherly; causing Kaede to focus her one good eye upon his face as she studied him with interest. "Jaken and I are leaving."

"Yes my lord," she said. "Will you come back soon to check on Rin and Inuyasha-san?"

"Lord Sesshomaru is far too busy to keep running out here," Jaken answered snippily. "He'll be back when he has time."

"Oh, I can sleep with Inuyasha-san," Rin said ignoring Jaken's harsh tone as she spun and ran toward the hut's entry. "Good-bye my lord. Good-bye Master Jaken. Please come back soon to see us," she said waving her hand and scooting toward the door.

"Do not wake him," Sesshomaru cautioned her. "He still requires rest."

"I won't," Rin said lowering her voice as she began to tip-toe, taking Sesshomaru's words quite literally. "I'll be very, very quiet," she added just before disappearing through the doorway.

"He won't remember any of this," Sesshomaru said narrowing his eyes at the miko.

Kaede nodded her head and watched as Sesshomaru disappeared into the sky. From the expression on his face she knew the daiyoukai actually meant 'don't tell him any of this.' Again he was an enigma to her. He'd gone through the time and trouble of saving his brother's life, but didn't want him to know it.

**A/N: Sorry, but once more, I admit I refused to reinvent the wheel, but I hope it's different enough. I know a lot of people have had Inuyasha poisoned, but once more, my decision to have Sesshomaru heal him was based on reading Hella's POISON.**

I thought it was a great way to show that Sesshomaru was changing, whether he acknowledged it or not. He actually says he could not dishonor his pride, but pride or not, I don't think he would have cared four years ago and he certainly wouldn't have bothered. I decided not to let Tenseiga save him because I don't know if it is really a healing sword or not. Sesshomaru never healed anyone in the anime, he only brought people back from the dead and Inuyasha is not dead.

**Okay, does that mean it's all done? Very surprising and humbling of Sesshomaru to care for the hanyou like that, don't you think? But he has saved his life before, but to go to such an extent, seems so uncharacteristic. What will he want in payment? Hope you enjoyed and will tell me what you think, so far!**

**chichi-ue - (father)  
Haramaki - (armor)  
miko - (priestess)  
mokomoko - (Sessy's fluff)  
okaa-san - (mother)  
youkai - (demon)  
youki - (demon power)**


	6. Chapter 6 Getting to Know You

**A/N: Last time, Sesshomaru saved Inuyasha's life when he realized Tenseiga could not. The youkai lord actually humbled himself by being nursemaid to the hanyou for four days and nights. I never thought Sesshomaru would be so caring, especially not to Inuyasha. Why did he do that? Is it that he changed so much, or is it that he wants a new "gopher". Inuyasha will soon awaken, what will he think of what Sesshomaru has done? Does that mean we will find out what Sesshomaru was up to?**

**殺生丸****＆****犬夜叉****: ****きょうだい****イン****甲鉄****  
Sesshomaru & Inuyasha: Kyoudai in Kōtetsu  
Sesshomaru & Inuyasha: Brothers in Arms**

**章****6 - ****頂戴****知る****君****  
Sho 6 - Chōdai Shiru Kimi  
Chapter 6-Getting to Know You**

It was over 24 hours after Sesshomaru had departed, when Inuyasha finally began to stir from the blackened sleep he'd been locked in. He felt tired, worn and beaten, but his eyelids slowly slipped open, revealing what looked like a logged roofline to his foggy golden vision. Upon barely regaining consciousness, he felt his arms bound to his side then felt a weight pressing snuggly against his chest. Diverting his gaze to access his situation, the hanyou was startled to see what looked like a small arm and a bushel of black hair resting firmly across his upper body.

What the heck? His befuddled brain strained to ascertain exactly what that was; until finally, clarity began to sink in. Is that... Sesshomaru's... brat? He wondered, straining to look past the black bushel that seemed to grow out of his nearly naked, but thankfully partially covered chest, but the tiny arm was almost a dead giveaway. _"What the heck was she doing? Was she... asleep? On his... chest? Damn it, what did she think she was doing?"_

"Rin," Inuyasha nearly snarled, not bothering to contain the shock in his voice. He just barely managed to stop himself from reaching for and slamming her against the wall. The fact that she was just a little human kid probably saved her. "What are you doing?"

Groggily lifting her head, Rin rubbed her fist gingerly against her eyes, allowing her brain to defog. "Inuyasha-san," she called gleefully, her eyes spread wide with delight. "You're awake. I'm so happy," she squealed, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck; joyous tears trickling from her large bright eyes. "I thought you were going to die."

"Die?" Inuyasha thought, shit as tight as her grip was around his neck, she was likely to kill him for sure. Didn't she know her own strength? "What-?" He peeled himself from his bindings, shaking himself free of her lingering grip. Feeling a sharp pain ripping at his gut, his thoughts began to drift back to his last lucid memories. 'That youkai had nearly killed me. Why hadn't it killed me?' The last thing he could clearly remember was that he _was definitely_ going to die.

"What happened?" he asked absently, more in an effort to gather his own thoughts, than to ask Rin anything. He was certain she wouldn't know anyway. Where was he, Kaede-babaa's hut? Yeah, he'd remembered the twang of the arrow before he died. But he hadn't. The old hag had obviously saved him.

"Lord Sesshomaru saved you," Rin said proudly, interrupting his thoughts, her eyes twinkling with pleasure and delight. "He didn't want his brother to die, and neither did Rin."

The hanyou's brain was still bogged in mush from the youkai poison he'd fought, so it took a few seconds to analyze the words she'd uttered. Then finally, it hit that spot. "Sess...ho..maru?" Inuyasha bellowed; his eyes widening with shock. His heart nearly jumping into his throat as his head sprang upward. No, she had to mean something else; he thought scooting backward toward a nearby wall. Sesshomaru would not have saved him; not him.

"Rin," Kaede called entering the room, realizing she was too late. Rin had already let the cat out of the bag. "Ye should let Inuyasha rest."

"Yes, Kaede-san," Rin said pushing herself to her tiny bear feet and proceeding toward the door. "Would you like something to eat, Inuyasha-san?" she asked as she prepared to leave; her tiny fingers clutching the heavy wool covering that served as a door for the hut.

Inuyasha stared at her in disbelief. She'd knocked his entire world out of kilter, and she thought he wanted to eat? Was she insane? "No, I'm fine," he almost growled as her words continued to ring in his head.

"Thank you for saving me, Inuyasha-san. I'm glad you're better," Rin issued a small, gentle bow, then turned and departed the hut.

"Is that true?" Inuyasha asked in confusion, turning toward Kaede, gripping his side as he winced against the pain that seized him when he moved.

"Is what true," the old priestess asked as she hobbled toward a shelf in the rear of the hut to stack some herbs she held in her arms.

"Did Sesshomaru really save me?" He repeated, trying to get to his knees to stand up; his badly damaged body cried out in agonizing pain, forcing him to remain seated.

"Yes, he did," Kaede confessed; there was nothing else to do. From the look in that daiyoukai's eyes yesterday, she was certain he would probably have her head for divulging something he had made plain he did not want known. "Ye had too much poison in ye body and there was naught I could do," she said as she turned toward the hanyou struggling to his feet. "Sesshomaru pretty much appeared out of no-where and took care of ye. So I suggest ye just lay there before ye rip something open that I can't fix."

'Took... took care of him?' Inuyasha's brain screamed in disbelief as he settled himself against the wall he had just crawled to; his head falling limply behind him as he rested his back against it. Sesshomaru had actually saved him? That couldn't be. Sesshomaru hated him and would be delighted to see him six feet under or however far down he could stick him. But to save him made absolutely no sense, Inuyasha thought stupidly, his world clouding in darkness as he tried to figure out what the hell was going on. If he did save him, Sesshomaru was up to more of his stupid games just like the other day; making a fool out of the ignorant little hanyou; but what did he want this time?

Trying to rise from the tangled bedding still clawing at his feet, despite the butt crawl he had done a few minutes earlier, Inuyasha nearly lost his balance as his light head and empty stomach played havoc with him. He couldn't stay there. If that youkai lord came back to visit Rin and saw him alive and kicking; a sore reminder of whatever the hell he had done, he'd kill him for sure.

"Lay down, Inuyasha," Kaede warned him sharply, her lips tight and impatient; as she watched his struggles to go goodness knows where. "Ye were badly injured, and ye knows ye should not move about thus, reopening those wounds. Ye won't be seeing any new battles for some time, yet."

Just barely hearing her, Inuyasha focused more intently on the pain he felt. He couldn't remember ever being in this much pain or this weak before. So what did those two do? Guilt Sesshomaru into using his Tenseiga to save his miserable life? Why? But more importantly, why did he do it? Probably for Rin's sake, 'cause he sure wouldn't give a damn about anything Kaede-babaa had to say.

Inuyasha felt another surge of pain grip his side and realized this didn't feel right; not at all. He saw Sesshomaru use Tenseiga once before; that youkai wasn't in this kind of pain when his crazy brother was done with him, and he'd had his damned head cut off. Not understanding why his body screamed in so much agony, Inuyasha pulled off the bandages covering his side. Several partially healed holes punctured a larger gaping one that was also starting to heal. Inuyasha studied them bleary eyed for a moment. A large jagged hole, surrounded by smaller, more organized and neatly placed ones; smaller... smaller organized holes; then he blinked. His gaze grew wide as he peered at them. The smaller holes looked like... like... like... fang marks, and then, there was that scent. Inuyasha pulled the bandages from around his arms. Fangs? He sniffed. Sesshomaru had used his... freaking fangs? Shit! Shit! Shit! He did. Inuyasha's brain squawked as his hand shook uncontrollably; as if trying to shake off a horrid nightmare. He could smell that arrogant youkai lord's scent all over his body. That meant what? He'd sucked the freaking poison out of him? No Way!

Inuyasha slapped one hand across his mouth, fighting the urge to hurl his empty stomach. Fortunately, though, it was empty. How could he not know or remember any of that? Then Inuyasha's thoughts suddenly jumped back to the last events he could remember.

He had fought that youkai in his human form. That meant Sesshomaru saw him in his human form. Awww shit! Shit! Shit! Another disaster! When the hell would this nightmare end? The last time Sesshomaru saw him like that, he could have cared less if he killed him, himself. Now, he'd saved him, when he could have simply let him die. He must have really hated that. He hated him anyway and to have been reduced to saving him while he was in human form; hell that must have grated on him. Probably wanted to rip out a piece of him every time his freaking fangs touched his skin; hell, why didn't he?

Inuyasha's head began to spin as nausea once again settled itself just below the opening of this throat. Why had Sesshomaru saved him? For the life of him, he couldn't figure out why he would have even bothered. Why did he do anything he did? There had to be a reason. That youkai lord wouldn't do anything for nothing.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Inuyasha had picked up Sesshomaru's scent some time ago and followed it to this point. It was a powerfully, sharp, youkai scent that always reminded him of something akin to a violent storm crackling in the distance, rushing toward you as it wreaked havoc along the way. Having followed his brother's scent for the last thirty minutes, he was now hit with the full force of his imminent presence, and Inuyasha knew Sesshomaru was positioned somewhere around the next turn; probably in a clearing somewhere. He also knew Sesshomaru with his keen sense of smell would have detected his scent by now and knew he was coming. What would he do? Would he try to kill the hanyou that had dared taint his space with the scent of his hanyou blood?

Closing his eyes, Inuyasha hesitated. A strong scent of fresh grass wafted toward him. The sun glowed warm overhead and had dried out the grass after yesterday's rain. The day felt new, clean and fresh and he shouldn't have any worries, but he did; he wasn't sure he wanted to proceed. Maybe he should go back to the village; go back to where it was safe; stay away from Sesshomaru. What was he doing here anyway? Simply walking up to the spot where he would likely die. Sesshomaru probably wouldn't appreciate seeing him, and Inuyasha couldn't say he wanted to see Sesshomaru either.

"Inuyasha. How could you let down your guard so?" Sesshomaru's smooth voice boomed his question from just behind Inuyasha's ear as he came to a stop only a few inches behind him. He was close enough to rip out Inuyasha's heart if he so desired.

"Huh?" Inuyasha spun and jumped backward, his stance fighting ready as usual; his right hand grabbed and clutched tightly onto his Tetsusaiga. He had indeed allowed himself to be snuck up on-and by Sesshomaru of all people.

"Is it your intent to attack me in my own camp?" Sesshomaru asked just barely lowering his gaze as he noticed the tense grip the hanyou had placed around the tsuka of his sword.

"No, I...," Inuyasha faltered slightly, trying to relax his grip, but not sure he should; he was certain that would be just the opening that stuck up youkai needed. Then, for some unknown reason, he changed direction entirely. "Well even so, you've always attacked me in my own territory, maybe you deserve a little of the same."

"So, you wish to die?" Sesshomaru replied smoothly, narrowing his eyes as he projected his usual placid glare. It was clear he saw no threat, because he hadn't even reached for his sword.

With a pang of regret, Inuyasha realized that was another part of his life he missed-fighting with his pure blood brother. If not for Sesshomaru, he might never have known the Tetsusaiga's true potential. But Inuyasha had to admit the only time they fought that he kind of really enjoyed was when they fought together-against Sou'unga and Naraku.

"You have no value for your life?" Sesshomaru concluded.

"No. I mean yes. No, I mean..." Inuyasha didn't really know what he meant. Sesshomaru did crap like that to him.

Sesshomaru studied him, waiting; his eyes narrowing even more as his golden gaze seemed to grow annoyed at the presence before him. "Why are you here, Inuyasha?"

"I came..." hell he didn't know why he'd come. To ask Sesshomaru why he'd saved his life? No, he just wanted to know one thing. "I came to find out what you wanted?"

"What I wanted?" Sesshomaru's head reared back slightly as he furrowed his brows above his narrowing gaze.

"Yeah," Inuyasha spewed at the youkai who didn't seem to have a clue what he was talking about; Inuyasha didn't believe that for a second. "Don't play games Sesshomaru. What do you want?" He didn't really know why he'd come, but he did know he hadn't come to be played with and he had no intentions of letting Sesshomaru look down his nose at him again.

"What I want?" Sesshomaru repeated again, as his brows furrowed even more. In truth, he had no idea what the hanyou was talking about; or why he would think he wanted anything from him. Or how he could be so arrogant as to think someone like him could provide anything of value to a daiyoukai. "You speak in riddles, Inuyasha. Explain yourself," Sesshomaru said with impatience.

"You saved my life," Inuyasha decided he'd spell it out if that's what the jerk wanted, but in the end, he would tell him his objectives. "So why? What do you want from me?"

Sesshomaru lifted his head slightly in final understanding. "Saved your life. So you are aware."

"Yeah, I'm aware," Inuyasha mocked sarcastically. "So why'd you do it? What do you want?"

"You sound ungrateful," Sesshomaru studied him intently. "Would you have preferred I let you die?" When he had initially encountered him in the miko's hut, he had wondered about that. Was it in truth, his intent to die that night? Is that why he had risked his life so recklessly?

"No, I am," Inuyasha shot a pair of wide golden eyes toward his brother. The last thing he wanted was to appear ungrateful. Sesshomaru would probably kill him for that alone. "I appreciate it, honest. It's just that... that..." Inuyasha's shoulders dropped as he once more eked out the question that had pummeled his head for nearly a full week since Sesshomaru had saved him. "Why?"

"Why did I save you, you mean?"

"Yeah, why did you?" Inuyasha now demanded, tired of the amount of time it was taking for him to come clean. "You're not fooling anyone. I know you hate me. So why did you save me, Sesshomaru? Why didn't you just let me die? What do you want?" He knew he was forcing the anger into his voice to keep that pleading tone out.

"Why? What do I want?" Sesshomaru echoed his words, seeming to slip into deep thought. "What do you think?"

"Hell, I don't know. Why do you do anything you do?" Inuyasha insisted throwing his hands up and spinning around. Why wouldn't that youkai just tell him what he wanted? "I've spent the last week trying to figure that shit out," he turned back toward his brother. "I figured it's because I saved Rin and you felt responsible for what happened, or..."

"I do not feel responsibility of any sort, Inuyasha," Sesshomaru interrupted him.

"Then I figured this way you're still able to say you can kill me with your own hand," Inuyasha shot out, now angered more than ever and not quite sure why. "I know that would be your greatest pleasure."

"Kill you? My greatest pleasure?" Sesshomaru studied him for a moment, then turned and began strolling back toward the clearing Inuyasha had originally scented him in. "Know this Inuyasha, if I truly wanted you dead, you would be," he stopped and turned back toward him again. "I have had many opportunities to kill you and have not. As one not to deny myself what few pleasures life offers; if it would give me such pleasure to do so, then I would."

"Then why?" Inuyasha demanded almost pleadingly, now. He didn't care; he needed to know. "What the hell do you want?"

Sesshomaru studied his puzzled expression. He could just imagine how the hanyou had racked his brain trying to come up with an explanation. That was typical of humans and apparently of hanyous as well. The urge to sigh nearly got the best of him, but Sesshomaru knew his brother was probably as conflicted as him, probably even more so. "In truth, I wondered that myself," Sesshomaru confessed looking at him with only mild interest. "So would it surprise you if I told you that I, myself, am unsure?"

"You saved my life and you don't even know why?" Inuyasha asked aghast. "I don't believe you. You don't do anything without a reason and without knowing exactly why you're doing it."

"Oh, initially I had my reasons," Sesshomaru clarified as he began to turn away again; his long legs taking slow, graceful strides back toward his clearing. "But I have since discarded that thought," he said across his shoulder.

"What was your reason?"

"That matters not now," Sesshomaru responded; but stopped at the edge of a group of trees that concealed the opening for the clearing as he turned back to face him once more. "The issue is, where do we go from here?"

What was that supposed to mean? Inuyasha froze in amazement as he watched Sesshomaru study him with puzzled eyes before turning and continuing to stroll toward the clearing again. And what did he mean by 'he'd discarded that thought?' What thought?

Ahh shit, Inuyasha grumbled softly, realizing this still wasn't getting him anywhere. It wasn't him who'd had issues with Sesshomaru, anyway; it was the other way around. With the events that have occurred over the past year, could he dare to think, even hope, that maybe; just maybe Sesshomaru didn't hate him as much as he used too, but could that really be possible?

Eventually, a more rational thought swamped his brain, Sesshomaru, though, mighty youkai lord that he was, would never save the life of someone he hated, he wasn't the type, was he? But hell, this was pointless, Inuyasha reasoned; he knew he had gone through these same thoughts over and over for the past week and had gotten nowhere.

"Sesshomaru," Inuyasha called, bounding after him.

Sesshomaru stopped as he directed his gaze toward him once again.

"You took care of those youkai Naraku left near the village," Inuyasha stated, then finally added what was most difficult to express, "thanks," he said, his shoulders slumping ever so slightly. Thanking anyone was difficult for him, but thanking Sesshomaru for anything felt so unnatural and so... wrong.

"It appears I was incorrect. You are extremely grateful today, so unlike you, Inuyasha." Sesshomaru continued to move, but eyed Inuyasha across his shoulder. "At any rate I could not allow them to endanger Rin." He finished just as they arrived at the clearing.

For a moment, Inuyasha felt himself overwhelmed with a touch of rejection, but truly, what did he expect? Sesshomaru hadn't killed those youkai because one of them had almost killed his brother. He'd killed them simply because there was a chance they might kill his charge.

Following Sesshomaru into the clearing, Inuyasha could see Jaken and Sesshomaru's two-headed dragon camped nearby. A small fire burned in the middle of the camp, and Inuyasha wondered why. The day was still light and warm. It wouldn't be dark for several hours, yet.

"Lord Sesshomaru, where did you …?" Jaken scuttled toward them, clearly stunned as he eyed Inuyasha cautiously, his tiny three digit hand clutched tightly around his staff of two heads. "What is Inuyasha doing here?"

"Good to see you too, you little runt," Inuyasha responded flippantly.

"Who are you calling a runt?" Jaken squawked, his voice tense and angry, his eyes appearing larger than usual.

"Why did you not take care of those youkai yourself, Inuyasha?" Sesshomaru ignored the friction developing and returned to their previous conversation as he settled himself against the base of a large tree not far from the fire; his spiked haramaki braced back resting stiffly against it. It was as if the tree had been reserved for him, and Inuyasha guessed it probably was.

"I don't know, stupid I guess," Inuyasha ran his fingers through his long white locks, more as a way to block Sesshomaru's intense gaze that seemed to look right through him. It was as if everything he said would be heavily scrutinized. "Not to mention lazy," he admitted as he studied the ease in which his brother had settled himself; clearly undisturbed by the fact that Inuyasha had followed him into his camp and was actually still standing there.

Fed up with all his indecisions, Inuyasha made one and settled himself down, not far from his brother. Jaken settled himself directly across the fire facing him. Clearly his intent was to keep his large yellow eyes trained intently on him, as he kept his staff perched against his chest, his arms wrapped tightly around it.

"To say the least," Sesshomaru responded thoughtfully.

"I've never exactly been one to go chasing down youkai in caves," Inuyasha said, realizing Sesshomaru was responding to his comment about his laziness. "Too damned dark."

Sesshomaru lifted an eyebrow, but said nothing.

"You're making camp here?" Inuyasha asked, unnecessarily. He felt since he was sitting here of his own accord, he needed to do something to spur the conversation.

"For now," Sesshomaru responded. "But we will travel soon."

"Where are you going?" Inuyasha asked, deciding to stretch his legs to the fire as he reared back on his elbows. That, at least took the strain off his still healing muscles.

"To patrol the land, keep order."

Inuyasha wondered about this, he thought Sesshomaru went around killing other youkai and taking their land. "You told me once that you walked a path of conquest. What does that mean?"

"You probably don't know this," Jaken chimed in, eagerly. The little youkai enjoyed taking every opportunity to openly praise his lord; even if he criticized him beneath his breadth. "But Lord Sesshomaru will undoubtedly become the greatest youkai of all time and will reign over his own empire. When that happens, I will become the empire's chief minister."

"Really?" Inuyasha almost wanted to chuckle. The little imp seemed so enamored of his master and would probably do anything for him, including die to serve him in an even greater capacity.

"Ahh, yes," Jaken said sheepishly, darting his large saucer-like yellow eyes toward Sesshomaru. "That is unless you have someone else in mind for chief minister me lord." Jaken realized he was not as definitive about his possible position now as when he'd given the same speech to Rin a while back. He wondered if his master intended for Inuyasha to supersede him. Why had he brought the stupid hanyou to their camp?

"What about our oyaji's empire?" Inuyasha asked, not understanding why Sesshomaru didn't just take that over. "Isn't that big enough? Didn't it pass down to you?"

"The land belongs to my haha-ue's clan; which she now rules. I have already expanded the western empire. But if my fate is simply to step into chichi-ue's shoes; what would be the point?" He studied Inuyasha carefully; fully aware that this was the first time in a long time that they had ever had the opportunity to talk about anything other than threatening to kill each other. The first time he had ever told him anything about himself. "Struggle is the only way for survival. I will rule this empire eventually, but first I must complete my own."

"Your mother still lives?" Inuyasha studied him with a look of curious wonder in his eyes. Sesshomaru had never really bothered to tell him anything before. "Must be nice."

Sesshomaru turned toward him; seeming to weigh his words carefully. "Depends upon your point of view."

"What does that mean?"

"Do not mistake her," Sesshomaru directed a blank, but steady gaze toward him yet again. "My haha-ue is nothing like your okaa-san was."

Inuyasha waited for further clarification, but received none. "Oh," he said, not fully understanding his meaning, but he knew it wasn't just that his mother was human and Sesshomaru's was a full youkai. If she was anything like her son, they probably wouldn't get along anyway. But Sesshomaru, made it sound like he didn't even care much for his own mother. Had she done something to drive both her mate and her son away?

"So then you're going to rule once you build your empire?" Inuyasha asked refocusing his thoughts. There was no way he would explore the subject of parents with Sesshomaru. For all he knew, that was the reason his brother hated him so much; because their oyaji had left Sesshomaru and his mother for his.

"Since that will probably not be for some time, it is difficult to say."

"But that is your ultimate goal?"

"Eventually."

"So what do you do, now?" Inuyasha couldn't help going back to his original thought. "Go around killing other youkai and taking their land?"

"Inuyasha," Sesshomaru's soft exhale was slightly audible as he spoke; his golden eyes lowered, then seemed to sparkle as he studied the hanyou, apparently stifling a smile at his naivety. "You make me sound like a merciless killer. I have killed mercilessly, because that is the only way to kill; but that is not _what_ I am," Sesshomaru said moving his back stiffly against the tree. "I do _not_ generally kill without reason. However, I never back away from a worthy battle. If there is land to be obtained, then ..." Sesshomaru did not finish.

Inuyasha studied him. He almost felt sorry for any stupid youkai that had the nerve to get in his brother's way. His appearance might be high and mighty, but it would be a mistake to underestimate his power. "You said you had to protect the land," curious, Inuyasha refocused once more. "You do that a lot?"

"There are not many foolish enough to challenge me," Sesshomaru said, and Inuyasha took that as a 'no'. "The last battle to protect these lands was against the panther demon tribe." Sesshomaru said, then was quiet for a moment, before he added. "You were instrumental in that battle."

Inuyasha knew those last words were the best 'thanks for your help', he'd ever get.

The sun was beginning to drift to the west. The sky was taking on shades of yellow, orange and gold. But it would still be a couple of hours before the sun set completely. The fire in front of him burned, crackled and snapped as Jaken threw some new twigs onto it.

Having exhausted the few, relatively safe subjects he felt he could talk about, the air fell momentarily silent between the three, and Inuyasha wondered what he was doing there; really. Talking to his elder brother about fighting and killing wasn't exactly how he had planned to spend the day. Angling his head, he stole a stealthy peak at the proud youkai that sat only a few feet away from him. Sesshomaru sat with his back against the large tree trunk, but it barely touched. His back was perfectly erect and straight, graced by his silver haramaki and the mounds of fur from his mokomoko. His swords, though within easy reach, rested quietly at his sides. He had a single booted foot drawn upward toward his chest and he seemed so far out of Inuyasha's league that new questions started to arise in his head.

Why was Sesshomaru letting him stay? Why weren't they trying to kill each other like they usually did? Why was Sesshomaru carrying on a conversation with his hanyou half-brother? He was certain he had never had any kind of extended conversations with Jaken or Rin. He imagined Sesshomaru probably spent most of his time thinking, something he hated doing. Was that just the smallest of the many differences between them? Sesshomaru was a thinker and he wasn't. Did it matter? He didn't come to think, anyway. He'd had his own alternative motives.

"Sesshomaru," Inuyasha began, turning his head to take in the expression of the youkai lord who diverted his attention in his direction. He wasn't sure if he really wanted to go back down that road, but he was sitting here with him, which meant they were trying to connect now, didn't it. So shouldn't he take the opportunity to get the answer to at least one of the questions that had been bothering him about his brother? "There're a few things I've been wondering about..."

"What is that?"

"I know I was probably rude before," Inuyasha sat upright; curling his legs beneath himself, his head dropping slightly as he remembered how he'd just cut Sesshomaru off, and the mixed feelings he'd had about that. "But I was wondering, were you in love with Rin's Mother?"

"Ridiculous," Sesshomaru quickly scowled; wasting no time providing his response.

"Foolish hanyou," Jaken screeched, shaking the top of his two headed staff at what he clearly saw only as a disrespectful hanyou. "Lord Sesshomaru would never love a human!" he declared emphatically.

"But I thought you said..."

Sesshomaru cut him off with a simple glance. "Nothing I have said could have led you to any such conclusion," he glared; his mouth tight and guarded. "Your own thoughts, on the other hand could have led you anywhere."

"Well, did you kill her, or maybe eat her?"

Sesshomaru narrowed his brows; shooting him a look that said he wasn't the least bit amused. "Inuyasha, do me the honor of respecting me enough, to stop asking questions while supplying your own suspect answers," his eyes sparkled with a slight angry glare but it was neither as intense or as purposeful as the hanyou had seen in the past.

Inuyasha could see that Sesshomaru was clearly angry, but he could also see he was making an effort to control that anger; something he had never done for his benefit before. Then Inuyasha thought about it and realized that even though Sesshomaru had said he would kill him many times, in reality, he'd never really gotten angry at him except for when he tried to help him in a battle. He remembered how he would simply walk up to him and say crap like 'Draw you sword, Inuyasha.' No anger, just cool collected confidence.

"You do not know me, but if you care to," Sesshomaru continued as he studied him. His eyes seemed to be filled with questions itself. "I will try to supply answers. If not, then perhaps we should continue as before."

Inuyasha felt as if he had truly been spanked. Sesshomaru was all business, no sense of humor at all. But at least they were starting to get back to familiar territory; so for his own vindictive reasons, he decided to show the sharpness of his blade, by taunting him just a bit. "Well if you didn't kill her, and you didn't eat her, and you weren't in love with her," he continued, looking thoughtful as he counted out the options on his fingers. "What the hell did you do to her?"

Sesshomaru did not immediately respond. It was as if he was trying to temper his emotions once more. Inuyasha fought the urge to laugh as he considered how easy it was to rile him. Simply connect him to a human and that youkai was ready to kill. Surely that wasn't a trait he'd picked up from their oyaji.

"Is that the only conclusion you could come to?" Sesshomaru finally responded. "That I did something to her?"

" Uhhh," Inuyasha hesitated slightly. "Well, yeah!" he responded stupidly, at a lost to think of anything else that could have happened.

Sesshomaru took a breath and simply told himself that he had to remember his younger brother was still just a child. Even though there was a great deal of flippancy in his words, there was probably a great deal of honesty in them as well. "I did not," Sesshomaru blinked as he responded frankly. "Rin's family was already dead by the time she came into my life. Killed by bandits."

"Oh," Inuyasha wondered why he hadn't made a point of inserting the word 'human' in that sentence. "So how did you end up with that little kid?" Inuyasha genuinely wanted to know.

Sesshomaru turned a fixed gaze toward him once again. "Do you recall when you had shown yourself to be the true heir to chichi-ue's sword?" he reminded him. "When you had finally learned how to wield Tetsusaiga by using the kaze no kizu?"

"Am I supposed to have forgotten that or something?" Inuyasha asked grudgingly. He remembered that he'd thought he'd killed his brother that day and the deep internal relief he'd felt when Toutousai explained how that probably hadn't happened. "Yeah, I remember that," he responded then diverted his gaze away, as he focused on the fire then picked up a twig and tossed it toward it; sending sparks flying upward as it snapped and crackled in the flames. Why should he feel guilty even if he had killed him? It would have been Sesshomaru's own fault. He was the one who came after him as usual; always taunting him; always attacking; trying to kill him.

"Well you should be proud; you did quite some damage to I, Sesshomaru, that day," the youkai lord said as he looked away momentarily, then turned back toward him, directing a steady golden gaze in Inuyasha's direction.

Though he didn't look up, Inuyasha did feel a small degree of pride at having learned that technique. From there, mastering Tetsusaiga's abilities had almost become second nature.

"Though I seriously doubt it would ever happen again," Sesshomaru said, wiping away any sense of accomplishment with those few words.

Inuyasha snapped his head around to glare at him. Why didn't he see that coming? "You're a real tool, you know that?" Inuyasha asked resentfully. Sesshomaru had a way of praising and smacking him down with a single blow. He should have known it wouldn't take him long to smack him down once again.

Sesshomaru's golden eyes simply sparkled brightly.

"Well if you think you're gonna make me feel like crap for almost killing you? Let me say, if I had, you would have deserved it," Inuyasha heard Jaken shriek off to his side. Sesshomaru's two headed dragon even lifted its heads and seemed to snort its disapproval. "Why are you bringing that up anyway?" Inuyasha snapped angrily.

"Because you asked a question," Sesshomaru responded rather coolly with narrowed eyes that glowed brighter as it reflected the fire. He was the only one who didn't seem the least bit concerned about Inuyasha's words. "Answers do not always start in safe places, Inuyasha," he studied the young hanyou who'd looked away without responding. Sesshomaru continued. "I usually heal rather quickly, but I was down for nearly a week after that attack. During that time, that little human girl tried to rescue me, would you believe that? Rescue _me!_" he said, as if still incapable of believing such a thing. "Despite the fact that I growled at her and told her I did not want her attention, she persisted;" Sesshomaru paused as if overwhelmed by emotion.

Inuyasha narrowed his eyes as he looked at him in confusion, realizing this was the first time he had ever known Sesshomaru to ever show any signs of caring for or about anything. But in truth, his features had shown nothing. It was just the momentary silence hanging in the air that seemed to communicate so much. It did not escape his attention that Jaken seemed to grumble beneath his breath.

"When I recovered," Sesshomaru continued, looking directly into the fire as if in an attempt to burn away emotions he did not want seen or wish to acknowledge. "I found her dead, but I was able to revive her using Tenseiga."

"You saved her using Tenseiga?" Inuyasha was stunned; directing two wide golden eyes toward his brother. That was the last thing he'd expected to hear. Sesshomaru had brought her back from death? "Why?" Saving a human child, Sesshomaru? For what purpose?

"Why?" Sesshomaru seemed to reflect on that. "That is more difficult than you might think. It would be easy to say because Tenseiga compelled me to. But I now believe there was more to it since I was not opposed to doing it," for just a second, the youkai lord seemed surprised at his own words. "I probably should have taken her to a human village, but from what I had seen, she was being abused by humans," Sesshomaru said with a slight snarl and show of his fangs as if the thought itself had been inconceivable. "She has been with me ever since."

Now, that was something; a human being abused by humans, so of course the next logical step was for her to be adopted by a youkai. "But she's not with you now," Inuyasha said, incapable of reconciling himself to the fact that his brother had discarded the thought of leaving the kid with humans, but in the end, had done it anyway. "You left her with Kaede-babaa."

"That is because _I_ got her killed a second time," a sadness seemed to flow across Sesshomaru's face, visible in his eyes for only a brief second before he turned away. "While trying to perfect Tenseiga's meidou zangetshuha technique, I could not save her." He continued to look away, staring into the horizon. "My haha-ue brought her back."

Inuyasha had no idea what his brother had to do to train his sword, but it must have been pretty rough if it resulted in that kids death, but Sesshomaru had ended up transferring the power to his Tetsusaiga nonetheless; and at that time he was left without a sword at all. Though he did not intend to go there, his thoughts suddenly drifted back to the time when he appeared to be about the same age as Rin was now. Granted at that time he was actually more than three times her age in human years, but because of his youkai blood, he looked considerably younger than his physical age, just like he did now, but he was in reality just as naïve, probably even more so, because he knew nothing about being a youkai, or a hanyou. His mother had raised him as a human, because she knew nothing else.

He remembered being thrust alone into a world that hated him. His abilities were raw and untrained. His mother had died and he wanted to go with Sesshomaru himself, but the reception he'd gotten was considerably different.

"Stop pouting, you are not a scrawny, helpless human. You have the blood of an inu daiyoukai flowing through you-be proud of that. Show the world you are a proud hanyou," Sesshomaru had said as he stared into the face of the dirty, sniveling child. His hatred seemed to permeate across his face; starting from the edges of his golden eyes, down to his tight disinterested lips. "I have shown you how to use your claws and your sense of smell; use them. You do not need anyone; just kill anything that gets in your way."

"Inuyasha?"

"Huh, you said something?" Inuyasha asked as he tried to shake those thoughts from his head and wrap his mind around the here and now. But try as he might, he couldn't get his head around a fact that bothered him then, and still bothered him now. What had he done that caused Sesshomaru to hate him so much?

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
Okay, does that mean it's all done? Very surprising to see these two half-brothers sitting and talking, don't you think? But for some reason, I don't think it's going to be that easy after so much hatred, but at least they seem to have taken the first step. But what was that thought Sesshomaru discarded, and why didn't he just tell Inuyasha what is was?

chichi-ue - (father)  
haha-ue's - (mother's - familiar)  
haramaki - (armor)  
inu daiyoukai - (great dog demon lord)  
Kaze no Kizu - (cutting wind / wind scar – Tetsusaiga's technique that can kill 100 demons with a single stroke)"  
Tenseiga's meidou zangetshuha - (path of darkness to hell)  
miko - (prietess)  
mokomoko - (the fluff)  
okaa-san (mother - formal)  
oyaji's - (old man's)  
tsuka - (hilt)  
youkai - (demon)


	7. Chapter 7 Are We Having Fun Yet

**A/N: Sorry it has taken me so long to update, but the holidays and work is always so demanding. I hope to update at least once a week moving forward! **

**I hope you enjoy anyway!**

**Last time, Sesshomaru and Inuyasha made their first attempt to sit down and talk, but Inuyasha seemed to be filled with so many bad memories, but after 200 years of not being able to relate to his older half-brother could we really expect anything different? I'm still hoping!**

**Sesshomaru & Inuyasha: Kyoudai in Kōtetsu  
Sesshomaru & Inuyasha: Brothers in Arms**

**Sh****ō**** 7 ****–**** Ch****ō****dai Ikky****ō**** Nao  
Chapter 7-Are We Having Fun Yet?**

Sesshomaru turned a pair of questioning golden eyes, shielded by a pair of furrowed brows, toward his younger brother; reflecting on the fact that the hanyou had settled beside him so readily. He had not expected that. Was it because he had saved his life? He doubted very much it was because he trusted him. He did note that he seemed to make a concerted effort to stay away from any serious questions. Well, he would simply let him proceed at his own pace. He was certain he knew considerably more about Inuyasha than the reverse. But that was his own fault. He had never taken the time to allow them to get to know each other.

Ever since he had found out that he had been reawakened from that seal, he had treated him more like an enemy than his own kin. But by then, he had learned that the hanyou was supposed to inherit their chichi-ue's sword. But as his chichi-ue's first born, it was his right to inherit them. And he had refused to allow such a powerful weapon to be placed in the hands of a useless hanyou. But now, he understood why his chichi-ue had done that. He wanted to protect both his sons. The elder one, whose heart had always been cold and dispassionate and cared for no one; and the younger one, whom he was certain would grow up weaker, possessed with the emotions of a human and the inability to ward of the effects of his youkai blood.

With the changes in his life over the last few years, Sesshomaru was now willing to attempt to make peace. If Inuyasha wished to do the same, was that not the best he could hope for? After the battle with Naraku, he had silently promised his chichi-ue that he would try, and that is what he was doing; trying.

A thought that had puzzled him for some time, occurred to him and Sesshomaru was uncertain why. "Inuyasha," he turned to study him as he asked it. "How did you become involved with Naraku and the Shikon no Tama?"

"What? Why are you asking that?" Inuyasha asked darting a slight glance toward Sesshomaru. The last thing he wanted him to know was that he had wanted the Shikon no Tama to become a full-fledged youkai. It would be unbearable to have him thinking he wanted to be just like him. Maybe he should tell him he wanted it to become human. That was true as well, and that answer would certainly stick in his arrogant brother's craw.

"Curious," Sesshomaru responded without even a flicker of inflection in his voice, as if he truly had no interest in the answer at all. It was like he, too, was simply attempting to make conversation.

"Kikyo guarded it," Inuyasha responded. That was true too, wasn't it? And it didn't reveal anything Sesshomaru probably didn't already know. He certainly couldn't tell him about the Onigumo part, and the mistrust, and why he was sealed, or that Kikyo thought he had killed her.

"The miko that bound you?" Sesshomaru asked, knowing that there had to be a lot more behind what happened between them than his brother was apparently willing to reveal; especially since he had already found out that she had died the same day she had bound him. The story then was that Inuyasha had killed her and had tried to steal the jewel. He knew how much Inuyasha had been in love with her and he could not imagine him killing her for no reason. But apparently, the hanyou was not yet willing to discuss it; or at least, not with him.

"Yeah," Inuyasha responded stretching completely out on his back, his arms propped under his head. He really never liked thinking about how that had all happened. But he knew he'd never actually allowed himself to think about what his life might be like now, if Kikyo had simply let that Onigumo bastard die, instead of helping him.

Startled into reality when the actual time frame flashed though his head, Inuyasha realized he might not have a life now, at all. As old as Kaede-babaa was, he knew both he and Kikyo would have been a lot older and, if he had used the jewel 50 years ago, they'd probably both be dead now.

"I see," Sesshomaru was tempted to say, but only thought the words in his head, as he turned a studied gaze toward the hanyou, who seemed to be lost in thought. He decided not to question him further. Something told him his brother's deep thoughts probably surrounded that miko.

"No, didn't you try to steal it from her?" Jaken queried. He was never a one to hold his tongue, but he knew his master was too honorable to say that which he thought was not. "I remember when I heard you were sealed, they said..."

"Ahh shut up you little toad. If I wanted your input, I would have asked for it."

Raising and readying his staff of two heads, Jaken retorted. "I am not a toad, I'm a..."

"If you don't shut up, you won't be anything, 'cause I'll blow you away with my Tetsusaiga," Inuyasha threatened, resting his hand on the tsuka of his sword.

"Jaken, go get some fish," Sesshomaru said knowing the little youkai's mind and coming up with a scheme to divert his attention.

"Huh?" the little youkai balked his reluctance at being sent away.

The youkai lord knew Jaken cared not what came out of his mouth, but he also knew his opinion was of no interest to him at this moment, if it ever was. "Six pieces," he added just before darting a brief glance in Inuyasha's direction, puzzling the hanyou to no end.

"Yes me lord," Jaken rose and scuttled off, his staff of two heads in tow.

Inuyasha blinked twice, as he turned disbelieving eyes toward Sesshomaru, whose poker face was as emotionless as ever. The expression he'd seen earlier was just a flash.

"So, you thought it was funny to put him on edge?"

Inuyasha reflected on that half glance he'd received. Did he see correctly? More importantly, could it be true, did Sesshomaru actually have some warped sense of humor? "Well he's the one who's always waving that stupid staff at me, like he's dying to burn my skin off. Don't think I haven't noticed he hasn't put that shit down since I got here."

"Jaken has, shall we say, an attachment to that staff. Besides, if he lost it, I would kill him," Sesshomaru said indifferently, but Inuyasha was absolutely positive of the honesty of his words.

Inuyasha looked into Sesshomaru's face, who studied him with his usual detached superiority, but his eyes held something that looked like incomprehension or uncertainty. Whatever it was, it was something he couldn't recall ever seeing before. Pretending not to notice, he turned, picked up a twig then tossed it onto the fire. Hell, one thing he wasn't going to do was let that little piece of shit get the better of him. If Sesshomaru wanted to fight about something like that, well then, that's what they'd have to do.

"Why did you do it?" The smooth, velvety voice asked from off to the side; his eyes locked in Inuyasha's direction.

"Huh? Do what? Are you talking about that stupid imp?"

Sesshomaru shook his head slightly, his face taking on a somber expression. "Why did you save Rin and risk your own life? Were you trying to end it?"

"What?" Inuyasha was stunned. Did his brother truly think he was trying to kill himself? "Was I supposed to let that little kid be torn up and eaten by some stinking youkai? If I did that, I'm sure you would have been all over my ass and my life wouldn't have been worth shit anyway."

"So you were more afraid of me than you were of your own possible death by some low-level youkai while in that form?" Sesshomaru studied him with narrowed slits for eyes.

"I didn't say that. Shit I thought I had a pretty good chance against that stupid youkai anyway," Inuyasha lied, but did it really matter? He certainly had a better chance than that little brat would have had. "Besides," he continued. "I did pretty well against you before, so I didn't think you'd be much of a problem, either;" another lie, knowing he had no idea what his brother's strength had progressed to. They really hadn't fought in quite some time, and he still couldn't get the sight of that sword popping from his body out of his head.

"You had the advantage of chichi-ue's fang which still wasn't enough to kill I, Sesshomaru, but you would not have that advantage now," Sesshomaru said, resting his hand on the tsuka of his Bakusaiga, but he did not pull it from its sheath.

"That was a joke, Sesshomaru," Inuyasha said dumbfounded, his eyes blinking repeatedly. That was the second time he had not too politely reminded him that his life could be his if he so desired it. "I wasn't challenging you. But," he studied the great youkai's face which showed intensely serious. Maybe he was wrong about his sense of humor. "No-one has ever joked with you before have they? What are you a grouch?" Inuyasha wondered. "Have you ever laughed?" he asked then realized he probably shouldn't have said that as he tossed another stick into the fire. His brother didn't look like the type that would have ever taken time to have any kind of fun.

"I know what your intention was, Inuyasha," Sesshomaru said, studying him without a glint of humor in his eyes. "I have laughed, but I have never considered life about laughter," his tone was as dispassionate as his words. "Life is about facing challenges and conquering them."

"You probably haven't done it enough," Inuyasha reasoned, turning his head to study the stoic youkai beside him, once more. "I'd never really laughed before Kagome, Sango and Miroku, but it was fun." Inuyasha smiled as his thoughts drifted back to the days when they were all chasing Naraku. It wasn't often, but they did take time to just sit back and relax. "Maybe you'll have the opportunity to laugh more, some time."

"Not necessary," Sesshomaru said with disinterest.

"You say that because you don't have a funny bone in your body. You'd probably break apart from the stress of turning your lips upward," Inuyasha smiled recklessly at him. He knew he might be pushing the wrong buttons, but something inside of him wanted to see how far he could go. "Laughter isn't simply about sending that imp Jaken off for six pieces of fish to amuse yourself, when I know perfectly well you wouldn't even eat fish."

"Jaken can use ... a little exercise," Sesshomaru rose and strolled toward the stream situated about 300 yards away from his camp. He was intrigued that the hanyou had no qualms about trying to goad him. He knew this line of conversation was being pursued for one of two reasons. To anger him, or to make him laugh. Sesshomaru decided he would not give the hanyou any such pleasure, he would do neither.

"Exercise my foot," Inuyasha continued undauntedly. "You know perfectly well you just get tired of his questions half the time."

"I have no reason to tire of his questions," Sesshomaru insisted across his shoulder. "If he is too talkative, I simply do not respond."

Inuyasha jumped up and followed Sesshomaru, all the time wondering why was he being so clingy. He couldn't possibly be that concerned about being alone, could he? "It must be great being the lord of the Western Lands - people do as you will, or you ignore them or even kill them. Why do you even bother having him around if you're just going to do that?"

"Jaken can be... entertaining," Sesshomaru squatted in front of the stream, dipped his palms into the water then took a fresh drink, "Very useful on long trips."

"So, you have him follow you around for your personal entertainment?"

"He is useful in other ways as well," Sesshomaru said, rising and staring out across the stream. "He's great at using the staff to vaporize useless creatures that I cannot be bothered with."

Hearing his brother's last words, Inuyasha squinted his eyes at him. "Nut case," he muttered.

Sesshomaru heard that and smiled slightly, but he was certain Inuyasha had not seen it because he'd kept his gaze focused across the horizon. Did he not know that not only his sense of smell, but his hearing was far superior to his as well?

The two stood in front of a beautiful stretch of water with several large, sharp, angled rocks crusting its bed. The water rippled softly in front of them as it traveled smoothly downstream. A light, cool breeze wafted in front of them. Inuyasha imagined Sesshomaru had made camp here, just to look out on the beauty that stretched for miles, but then he wondered if Sesshomaru would even notice something like that. He was certain he would say it was just water.

Further down the stream, Inuyasha could see Jaken bobbing and diving, apparently trying to catch the six pieces of elusive fish. Inuyasha couldn't help but chuckle softly to himself as he watched him. He wondered how the little imp had managed to allow even a month to pass, without realizing Sesshomaru wouldn't eat fish.

Taking a seat on a nearby boulder, Inuyasha pulled his feet up beneath him as he watched his brother gaze across the horizon. "Sesshomaru, you told me before that you sought power," Inuyasha looked up at him. "You are strong. You have more power than I've ever seen. Now you have your own sword, and Toutousai said you've surpassed our oyaji." Inuyasha remembered Toutousai telling him that their oyaji was a thousand times stronger than he was; like it was his fault he had been taken over by Sou'unga. "Are you just going to keep fighting forever?"

Sesshomaru arched his brow and diverted his gaze once more. "Is it your desire to stop fighting now that Naraku is dead?"

"No, but I don't exactly go out looking for a fight," Inuyasha recalled how he used to try to stay out of just about any youkai's way, if he could. But that was before he'd gotten his Tetsusaiga. Damn, he grunted to himself. His life was even more useless now than it ever had been before. He had a big old sword and no one to fight. He wasn't like Sesshomaru, trying to expand his empire. He sighed heavily, realizing there were so many things that had changed.

"Well, that is where we differ," Sesshomaru said smoothly, without haughtiness. "I am the lord of the western lands. I must have land under my control to be considered worthy of my title. I cannot allow anyone to believe I have gone soft."

"Who would possibly think you've gone soft?"

Sesshomaru's ears flicked at that, but he decided not to read too much into what his brother had said. The hanyou had no idea that youkai would challenge him simply to gain prestige; that there was a time after he had transferred the killing power of his Tenseiga to the hanyou's Tetsusaiga that even weak medium-level youkai would constantly challenge him.

_You're weak._

Magatsuhi had said; and with those words he had placed his very pride on the line. That useless creature had even damaged his right arm with his venom when he'd attempted to pierce him with his demonic claws. That is why he had to be the one to destroy him. But beyond that, the hanyou had even pitied him when he'd seen his arm; actually telling him, Sesshomaru; that the battlefield was no place for anyone who was injured. But no more - Sesshomaru looked down and flexed the fingers of his left arm. He had always thought himself powerful, even after he had lost his arm. Now, no one with any sense would ever dare challenge or pity him again.

Sesshomaru decided not to respond, as he slipped his hands into the opposing sleeves of his haori. He assumed his brother's comment was said because he had not been easy on him since he'd reawakened, but he hoped in time, Inuyasha would see that he was attempting to change; that he had changed.

"Sesshomaru, you remember that time," Inuyasha studied him thoughtfully. "After we defeated Sou'unga; we saw our oyaji?"

"Yes," Sesshomaru tensed slightly. He knew not what Inuyasha intended to say, but he knew a discussion of their chichi-ue was a subject he did not wish to have with him just yet. There were still too many unanswered questions in his own mind that he had not yet come to terms with.

"What did you think he meant when he said 'he'd taught us all he could'? He never taught me anything".

Sesshomaru turned toward him now. He was certain the hanyou knew as well as he did, what their chichi-ue meant. Was this a veiled question to conceal the fact that he wanted to know more about him? Did he have regrets that their chichi-ue had died when he was born? Did he want him to tell him stories about him? Sesshomaru turned away. If he could ever get past his own unanswered questions, perhaps one day he would. "We defeated Sou'unga by fighting together. I believe that is what he wanted for us all along."

"You mean to fight together?"

"Yes."

"Do you think he's still watching over us?"

"I believe he will always be watching over us."

Inuyasha was quiet for some time, and Sesshomaru waited. "I know I've always said I didn't care, but I wish I'd known him," Inuyasha turned to look up at his brother now. "You look just like him, you know?" Then realized his brother probably knew that better than anyone. "I don't."

Struck by the quiet, forlorn tone of his voice, Sesshomaru turned to study him once more, and met his eyes. They were, not surprisingly, pained. He was correct. The hanyou did have regrets of not knowing their chichi-ue before his death. "We are each like him in our own way."

"You think so?" Inuyasha asked trying to think what Sesshomaru knew of their oyaji that was similar to him.

Yes," Sesshomaru said with no apparent concerns, knowing he had always thought Inuyasha was so much like their chichi-ue in their mannerisms and caring hearts, if nothing else.

Considering the fact that Sesshomaru had said there was a similarity between him and their oyaji without the least bit of disturbance reflected in his features, Inuyasha began to relax, lifting his hand to scratch behind his ear; slipping into such a comfortable mode that he started growling softly beneath his breadth.

Hearing his brother's soft growl, the youkai lord diverted his attention to the young hanyou and watched for a few moments. He realized he was ignorant of his brother's life from his perspective. He could recall only once in his 200 plus years, showing him any kindness. He still did not know why he had shown him that little kindness then, except he had stumbled on him shortly after his okaa-san had died and saw that she had taught him nothing about being a hanyou, and for some reason, he had considered it the right thing to do. But when he'd said he wanted to go with him; that thought had been repulsive. He was just a dirty, sniveling hanyou, who meant nothing to him. What right had he to travel with the daiyoukai of the western lands?

Now, he wanted to understand him more. The hanyou had not mentioned anything about it, but the youkai lord wanted to understand why he had allowed those humans to put that necklace around him.

In some ways, Inuyasha's thoughts were similarly occupied. For some reason they drifted to the one time he could remember Sesshomaru ever being nice to him; the time before he had given him that speech about being a proud hanyou, and then simply throwing him away. The time when Sesshomaru had stayed with him that day, all day; and had shown him how to use his claws and his sense of smell. He refused to allow himself the chance to spoil this moment by focusing on the fact that he did not even get a whiff of his brother, let alone see him again for another 30 years.

Finally, the youkai lord exhaled slightly; "Why did you allow those humans to chain your spirit, Inuyasha?" Sesshomaru's gaze remained fixed on the distant horizon.

Inuyasha froze, afraid to move, while his heart thumped wildly in his chest. He had hoped to avoid this topic. "Huh," he tried to play dumb as he turned to face Sesshomaru. "I didn't exactly let them," Inuyasha protested, his gaze following Sesshomaru's to the distant horizon as he remembered when Kaede-babaa had magically placed the rosary around his neck and he was unable to remove them. He already knew that Sesshomaru had made her take them off and that he'd been none too pleased about it. "I think Kaede-babaa thought she had no choice."

"No choice," the inflection in Sesshomaru's voice rose to a steely tone. "She seals your spirit and you say she had no choice," Sesshomaru's head had just barely flinched in movement as he made a concerted effort to keep his eyes focused in the distance.

Inuyasha didn't turn his head to look at him, either. The tone in Sesshomaru's voice told him he would meet a pair of heated, angry eyes. "I said _she thought_, and when I think back on it, I guess I kind of agree," his voice was just above a whisper, once more, as he remembered when he had tried to take the Shikon no Tama from Kagome after being released from his seal.

"Oh, _she_ thought, but _you_ agreed. So I assume that is why you protect them," Sesshomaru's head snapped around with such a ferocity, Inuyasha could see its movement from the corner of his eye. "Why didn't you simply kill them; rip out their hearts; free yourself? Why do you protect them still? Why do you chase after them like... like..." Sesshomaru didn't continue as he locked his jaws closed. He was too angry to speak, his youki flaring viciously around him as he rose abruptly, unfurling himself like a snake, furiously stalking away from the stream; back toward the camp, beyond the trees, headed into the darkening night sky.

Rising, Inuyasha trailed slowly and uncertainly behind him.

"Lord Sesshomaru, I brought the fi..." Jaken returned lugging a bundle of fish across his shoulder, only to frown when he saw his master departing. "Me loorrrd... where are you going?"

"Do not follow me Jaken," the roar in his voice was unmistakable as Sesshomaru continued on his determined path; headed to a destination unknown to those he left behind. The youkai lord had no patience for anyone; not now.

Jaken studied his master's departing back, as the black, red and white form disappeared into the darkness, then turned to Inuyasha. "What did you do to my master you stupid hanyou?"

"If you have any sense, you piece of shit, you'll sit over there and shut up," Inuyasha warned the little youkai. "And if you raise that stupid stick at me, I swear I'll kill you with my Tetsusaiga. You'll be in so many tiny bits there'll be no way for Sesshomaru to bring your ass back." Inuyasha growled, moving his hand to the tsuka of his sword as confirmation of his threat.

Jaken decided to take him seriously, grumbling beneath his breath as he plopped to the ground, tossing the fish into the fire.

Inuyasha watched as Sesshomaru vacated the area. He could scent his brother's youki still flaring vibrantly around him. It didn't take much to realize he was furious. They had fought many times, but Inuyasha couldn't recall ever seeing him so angry. Was he really that angry about the rosary? Why? What had he done that was so horrible?

_Why did you allow those humans to chain your spirit?_

Inuyasha considered it and realized he had no idea why he had not demanded that Kaede-babaa remove the rosary even after the Shikon no Tama was destroyed. Except as the weeks had drifted by; those little beads seemed to be his only link to the past; his friends were slipping from his memory. That was something he had wanted to try to prevent.

He could tolerate their conversation no longer. The hanyou had no idea what he was, or what it meant to be the son of a daiyoukai, Sesshomaru fumed angrily. He refused to believe his brother's foolish acts were a result of his leaving him alone. This was because of his mother. That foolish human woman who had learned nothing of the youkai she had mated with and had brought a daiyoukai's son up as a human. Did she have no sense, could she have possibly been more stupid? And then there was the hanyou; to live for over 200 years and be so clueless, incredible.

Although he tried to avoid it, did not want his thoughts to even venture there; Sesshomaru could not help but wonder how much of this should truly be laid at his own feet. How was the hanyou to learn, if his elder brother refused to teach him? How would he know what it meant to be the son of a daiyoukai, if there was no daiyoukai there to instruct him? But right now, the only thing he did know was that if he was going to have any chance of garnering the strength to not rip out his brother's throat, he had to increase their proximity, _now_.

How could that hanyou be so foolish as to make such a ridiculous choice? To chase after those human's like he actually was their pet stray. Even his words did not sound as if he had enjoyed his situation; yet, he had allowed her to do it with such apparent frequency and still he had not killed her. The hanyou's choices were far worst, than any choice their chichi-ue might have made. But was it worth his life? Until he could answer that question clearly, it was best he get away. Because his brother's choices were not his responsibility. Not his responsibility. Not his...

But the youkai lord knew if he truly intended to follow his path as a ruler, this was just one of the many challenges he would face. And he knew his success or failure would be judged not by whom he killed, but how he resolved those challenges, but for now, he could not; because now, he was furious. He had never been so angered; Sesshomaru thought as he flared his youki and began the transformation. To fight with the hanyou now, would mean nothing but his death.

Sesshomaru's eyes sparkled wider than before, turning crimson as his jaw extended and his claws and fangs protruded to their transformed state. His body vibrated as a thunderous veil of white light danced and shimmied around his form. Within seconds, the youkai lord emerged as the true demon dog he was, taking flight to the sky, seeking some large animal to rip apart. Seeking some means by which to release the anger that fumed inside his body. Seeking the only means available to him, that would prevent him from ripping out that hanyou's heart.

With his sense of smell even more acute than usual, Sesshomaru easily found his prey and attacked-quickly and efficiently.

**chichi-ue - (father)  
daiyoukai - (great demon lord)  
Hiraikotsu - (The bone that flies back)  
miko - (priestess)  
okaa-san - (mother)  
osuwari - (sit command for a dog)  
oyaji - (old man)  
Shikon no Tama - (sacred jewel of four souls)  
tsuka - (hilt)  
youkai - (demon)  
youki - (dark demon power)**


	8. Chapter 8 Can we Try Again?

**A/N: Hello my lovelies, wow, Sesshomaru was pretty angry last time. We know how much he hated Inuyasha anyway, what will he do if he seems him now? Is there any hope for these two half-brothers, or did Takahashi end it the way she did because there isn't any? I still hope they can at least seem like they're close to being friends. In some ways, to me they seem like two halves of a whole and really need each other. We shall see. I hope you enjoy this update, let me know what you think.**

**Sesshomaru & Inuyasha:**** Kyoudai de Kōtetsu **

**Sesshomaru & Inuyasha: Brothers in Arms**

**Shō ****8 - Yoroshii Watashitachi Torai Mo**

**Chapter 8-Can We Try Again?**

Inuyasha woke to find himself still at Sesshomaru's camp. The youkai lord had apparently not returned after his fit of anger. Was he still too angry to come back? Inuyasha knew he had refused to leave because doing that would have been too easy. It would have left Sesshomaru thinking he was afraid to face him. In truth, after the display the previous night, Inuyasha had to admit he wasn't quite sure he wasn't, but he certainly wouldn't let that youkai lord know that. At least that's what he'd thought last night. Now that the sun was up, and he'd had a few hours to sleep away that event, he wondered if maybe staying was the biggest mistake he could have possibly made.

Thinking about his brother now, he found himself wondering where he was. Was he still angry at him? Did he leave last night so they wouldn't start fighting? Sesshomaru had never held back on attacking him before. If he had truly left so they wouldn't fight, that was just another indication of how angry he had to be. But it didn't make any sense, Sesshomaru didn't care about him, so why would he have gotten so angry last night? Why would that youkai lord care what he did? And why hadn't he simply killed him; hell just ripped out his throat if he was that angry? He certainly would have done it before, he already knew what Sesshomaru thought of him, so what was so different now?

_Why didn't you simply kill them; free yourself?_

Why hadn't he done that? Because that thought had never even occurred to him after a couple of days, Inuyasha reasoned. Why not? They weren't his friends yet. He had plenty of opportunities to take their lives early on; especially Kagome's. He could have simply killed her while she slept, especially if he was so worried about her Osuwari command. And that's what it was, a command. A command you would give a dog; not how you would speak to a person. But she probably never really saw him as a person. He was a hanyou, he knew that, but wasn't he also a person? Didn't he deserve respect too? His mother had always said he did.

He remembered she had said he was not a pet to be bought and sold; that he had the right to make his own life-choices, to live his life without interference from anyone. She had said a person had to have a soul, be rational and know right from wrong and that not every human could say the same, unless they were lying. He didn't know if he had a soul, he didn't even know what that was, really; he believed he had one; his mother said he did. His oyaji certainly seemed to have had one and he was a full youkai. Isn't that what he saw that time?

Maybe he really should have killed Kagome back then. Sesshomaru would have done it without a second thought. Did he perhaps like it when she would utter that command and slam his face into the dirt. Even a dog would have had the choice of obeying or not. He had none. She'd even had no qualms about uttering it and pulling him straight out of a tree; slamming him head first into the hard, dry earth. Did he actually find pleasure in that? No. Never did. But she seemed to; especially when she would get into those moods of hers and just keep repeating it like she was trying to dig her way clear through to the other side of the world, while using his body as her personal shovel. He should have probably killed her for that alone.

Inuyasha considered his thoughts and wondered why he was even thinking about this? He wasn't Sesshomaru; he wasn't a killer; and he wasn't even a full youkai. That's probably why he'd never killed Kagome; and then he'd started to care for her; so there was no way he would have killed her after that.

Inuyasha breathed a heavy sigh and trudged his way slowly toward the lake. He would at least get a drink and splash some water on his face before departing. He would deal with Sesshomaru ..., whenever. Kneeling in front of the water, he cupped his hands, took a couple of healthy swigs, then splashed his face and scrubbed vigorously, realizing it had been a couple of days since he'd washed. Sesshomaru, with his highly superior sense of smell, certainly wouldn't appreciate his scent, yet another reason to make him angry.

Turning to head back toward his village, Inuyasha suddenly tensed as his sense of Sesshomaru heightened. The youkai lord was close by, somewhere. His scent was unmistakable; like a violent storm off in the distance; the fierce, vibrantly dangerous scent of harnessed power.

His ears twitching upon picking up the sound of water splashing, Inuyasha, for some unknown reason, turned then started down the edge of the stream in the direction opposite to his village; the direction that led straight toward Sesshomaru's scent. Finally, he moved through a group of trees.

The hanyou froze when his gaze lighted on his brother. The look in the youkai lord's eyes was still none too pleased when he saw him; but nowhere near as intense as it had been the previous night.

"Don't give me that look, I know you scented me coming," Inuyasha said defiantly as he glared back at him. "So don't look at me like I just dropped out of the freaking sky or some shit."

"I thought you would have left last night," Sesshomaru said in his customary even tone; a tone that revealed no trace of his thoughts. He did not like the emotions he had displayed last night. But he had allowed himself to display emotions to the hanyou that he generally displayed to no one. The thing, that bothered him now, though, is that he did not know why he had displayed such emotions. He knew the hanyou's choices had been irrational, and beneath the status of a daiyoukai's son, but to display his anger so heartily was not in his nature. His preference was to be an enigma to all who surrounded him; allowing them to wonder about his mood, about his temper; to wonder if he would suddenly attack; and then he would; always having the upper hand.

"And why should I do that?" Inuyasha asked, half hoping his brother would explain what bothered him so much, and half praying that he didn't.

Sesshomaru emitted a soft breath as he studied him with a fixed golden gaze. Even though he had thought he would have left, he already knew he had not. He had seen him sleeping when he'd returned; surprised that the hanyou had allowed himself to sleep so heavily, with no signs of awareness. He surmised, though, that Inuyasha had stayed the night specifically for the opportunity to counter their conversation. He would not allow it. He wanted to build trust and friendship. The subject was still too fresh; his anger still seethed too deeply, it would not be safe for the hanyou to rehash the subject just yet.

"You see something you like, or should I stand to give you a better view?" the youkai lord snarled mischievously, upon noticing the hanyou staring at him.

Startled back into reality, Inuyasha realized his gaze had been unflinching as he unabashedly stared at the markings across the youkai lord's body. "You pervert, I'm not...," Inuyasha stopped, shook his head and turned away. He wasn't even going to bother responding to that arrogant youkai.

Sesshomaru immediately initiated his energy whip, flicking it forward as he locked it around the hanyou's body then quickly snapped his hand backward, pulling him fully clothed into the water.

Recovering from the shocking bodily manipulation, Inuyasha opened his eyes and was pretty sure that every drop of blood in his body was rushing to his face. He was mortified to find himself positioned on his knees directly between the youkai lord's bent legs, his face smashed solidly against his wet, hair covered, but otherwise naked chest; his hands pressed firmly against his abdomen.

"You jerk," Inuyasha gulped out over the mound of water he'd somehow managed to swallow as he'd been yanked backward. "You are such a pervert. Always trying to get me wet."

"If you are the one always getting wet around me, I would say _you_ are the pervert," Sesshomaru teased, his eyes sparkling brightly; his lips taking on a crooked sneer.

"You know damned well what I meant," Inuyasha argued struggling to his feet and stalking back toward the water's bank.

"Since I cannot read minds," Sesshomaru countered, studying him as he trod heavily toward the water's bank. "I doubt I know anything you might mean or even think."

Something in his words, immediately reminded Inuyasha of why he'd stayed. Maybe this was his chance to get to the bottom of that youkai's anger. "Sesshomaru...," Inuyasha stopped at the water's edge and turned around.

Focusing his gaze on him for just a moment, Sesshomaru diverted his attention to his hair. Despite his previous statement that he could not read minds; the youkai lord knew instinctively what was coming. "Why don't you go over there and have a bath, yourself," he said angling his head in some general direction off to his side as he cut off the hanyou's words.

Inuyasha stared at him for a moment or two. Sesshomaru wasn't looking at him; he had diverted his attention to the process of wringing out his hair that had accumulated more water when he'd splashed down in front of him. So he didn't want to talk about it yet. That meant he _was_ still angry. Okay, if he wanted to bypass it; for now he'd let him, he determined as he disrobed and placed his clothes on a large bolder.

"What's the deal with those markings?" he asked as he took large loping steps back into the water and took a seat a few feet from Sesshomaru.

The youkai lord watched him for a moment, expressionless, before responding. Before he'd gotten so angry at him, he remembered the hanyou had an interest in getting to know something about their chichi-ue. He may not be ready to discuss all aspects, but he could at least begin to teach him the things his okaa-san never had. "They are heritage markers," Sesshomaru said holding up and studying the markings on his own arm.

"Heritage markers?" Inuyasha asked puzzled.

"Yes, they mark the bearer as an obake; an indication that they are capable of transformation. Despite the fact that chichi-ue had a set, since your mother was human, yours only show up when you are taken over by your youkai blood."

"Taken over by …" Inuyasha said, remembering when he'd slaughtered those bandits who were members of that moth demon, Gotenmaru's crew. He might well look like a full youkai with those markings, but he certainly didn't behave like one in that state.

Sesshomaru knew what the quality of his tone meant. He knew what the downward cast of his eyes meant. Sliding his hand under his brother's chin, he turned his face toward him as he looked deep into his eyes. "They are heritage markings, nothing more; they give you no specific advantage; they are merely an indication of your ability to transform; they are nothing to cherish or desire. They cannot assist you in battle," Sesshomaru's lips tightened with the realization that the hanyou was probably disheartened because if they only showed up when he transformed; he would never be able to display them. He was certain Inuyasha did not wish to transform again. "They are not nearly as valuable as the Tetsusaiga chichi-ue bequeathed to you."

Inuyasha's eyes gleamed with some small degree of understanding as he looked up into Sesshomaru's golden gaze. He could hardly believe his brother could read him so well. He could hardly even believe he cared enough to do it.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Sesshomaru can you do me a favor and stop throwing me into the water with my clothes on," Inuyasha grumbled as he pulled on his wet hakama. "I really don't like walking around feeling like a wet dog," he finished up and turned to face the youkai lord.

Turning his head toward him, Sesshomaru emitted a slight show of his fangs as he snapped at him.

Focusing on him, Inuyasha studied him with interest as Sesshomaru slipped his haramaki over his head; then watched as he tied the bow in his heko-obi. "Why do you wear all of that?" he asked with curiosity.

"What?" Sesshomaru asked looking down; taking in his apparel.

"You know; your armor, your fur. You can't need it," Inuyasha insisted, realizing he would rather feel like a wet dog than to be bogged down with all that gear. "It's the middle of the summer. It's got to be uncomfortable."

"The fur, as you know, is my mokomoko," the youkai lord said sliding his hand thoughtfully across the thick, plush pelt; as his eyes seemed to cloud in reflection. "It is a badge of honor to display it proudly."

"And your armor; is that a badge of honor as well?" Inuyasha studied him skeptically. "I've seen you take some pretty hefty shots right through that thing and walk away from it," he said, taking a seat on the boulder they both stood in front of. "So I know you don't need it. Your body seems to be a lot tougher than that thing anyway; so why?"

"I had no idea you were such a fashion expert," Sesshomaru said with a playful show of his fangs yet again; "but I can see how you are, especially since you are a one who does not even wear boots."

"My claws are free," Inuyasha shrugged, making a point of pulling his legs up and wiggling his toes beneath himself as he rested them on the boulder. "I'm comfortable. Can you say the same?"

This time Sesshomaru did more than simply show his fangs; he actually growled at him; a soft guttural growl; but he did acknowledge silently to himself, that the chances of his being engaged in battle anytime soon were slim. His brows knit, as he considered the fact that for the most part, even the youkai he encountered on a regular basis were not of royal stock from any of the western clans in his territory. Reconsidering his attire, the youkai lord thought about something. "Tell you what," he decided to venture down a road he had never traveled. "There is a kind of game I used to play with chichi-ue when I was a very young youkai," Sesshomaru said, studying the hanyou with thoughtful eyes. "If you can beat me at it, I will remove them."

"A game you used to play?" Inuyasha said, sounding extremely skeptical but also slightly wistful. He had never done anything with his brother except fight; but Sesshomaru was proposing a game. He would never have thought he'd ever played at all.

"Yes, and before you ask, I have played games, Inuyasha," Sesshomaru seemed to reflect on his words. He had not forgotten that the hanyou thought he was nothing more than a merciless killer who had never laughed. "Although I must admit, any game I played was probably for a different purpose than the ones you may have played," he said looking down and slipping his swords into his obi. "Would you care to give it a try?"

"Sure," Inuyasha said, almost leaping from the boulder. He didn't bother to comment about any games he may or may not have played, because he'd never really played anything. When his mother was alive, they lived amongst humans, and they made it clear they didn't want to play with a hanyou. "Why not?" he said almost too eagerly. "What is it called and how do you play."

Sesshomaru turned to survey the area; then moved about 50 feet away from the stream, back toward the direction of his camp. "The game is called 'Safe Zone'. See that tree over there, that will be zone 1. I shall start there."

"Safe Zone? Zone 1?"

"I shall point out four zones," Sesshomaru said, turning back to face him. "Then I will place a circle in the center of those zones. That is where you will start," he said as he studied him. The hanyou looked utterly perplexed and uncomfortable. Sesshomaru assumed his discomforted look was an indication that the hanyou was still uncertain in his ability to trust him. He could not help but wonder how much damage he had inflicted on him over the years. He also wondered if anything he did would ever change that. But the question he focused on now was whether or not it was too late for him to even try. Two hundred plus years around humans was a lot to contend with. "The purpose of the game is that you must attempt to catch me as I move between zones," Sesshomaru said, ignoring the questions in his head. "Once I have made it to a safe zone, we start another round."

"Catch you? Are you freaking kidding me? You can fly, I can't," Inuyasha protested vociferously. He could just see himself looking like a fool running around trying to catch that flying youkai.

"I am aware," Sesshomaru said. The words he spoke were much more tempered. "So I shall make several adjustments for your benefit. The youkai in the center is usually blindfolded...,."

"Blindfolded?" Inuyasha quickly interrupted. "How would I be able to catch you, if I couldn't even see you?"

"Come now, Inuyasha. You are an inu hanyou. Use your senses," Sesshomaru instructed rather sternly. "But I will allow you to use your sight as well."

He'd let him use his sight? Inuyasha realized now that he was talking about his sense of smell and understood why Sesshomaru had decided to forego the blindfold. His sense of smell would not be as powerful as a full youkai's. But with his sight, he would be able to see the youkai lord as well as scent his movements.

"I will also not fly above your head and I will not use any form of my kyuu shou energy; but I will maintain my right to travel in any other manner, in any direction from zone to zone and back again." Sesshomaru said, then turned and sighted another tree about 50 feet across from the first. A cluster of trees with smaller trunks stood between them; not ideal, but it should suffice.

"You mean you're going to use that flash thingy that you do?"

"I must have some advantage," Sesshomaru almost smiled at him; as the corners of his eyes seemed to turn up. "Otherwise I may as well stand still and let you tag me; then what would be the point?"

Inuyasha looked down at his feet. He remembered he'd managed to catch up to Sesshomaru once before and broken through his haramaki when they were fighting over Tetsusaiga in their oyaji's tomb. He was certain he could probably do it again, flash movements or not.

"That is zone 2. That boulder over there will be zone 3 and the one over there is zone 4," Sesshomaru said pointing out boulders that flanked the edge of the stream.

Turning to study the hanyou, Sesshomaru realized he seemed to be contemplating whether the rules would work to his advantage or not. He, though, was confident that whatever advantage Inuyasha thought he would have, he would soon find out that he did not. "What do you think? Are you up for it?"

"By catching you, that just means touching you in some way, right? I won't have to tackle you, or anything, right?" Inuyasha asked, doubting if he'd be fast enough to lock his arms around that youkai long enough to bring him down. But if all he had to do was touch him, he was pretty confident he'd be able to do that.

"Yes, but I will conceal my mokomoko, so you will not have that as a connection point."

Inuyasha knew that new rule took away a potential opportunity. But hell, he was game, if Sesshomaru was. "Okay, where do I start?"

Sesshomaru flared his youki to conceal his mokomoko then moved toward the center of the zones he had identified, scenting out their vibrations in the wind until he knew he was in the approximate center of the zoned square; then pulled his Tenseiga from his obi and drew a large circle in the dirt with its scabbard. "When you are ready, you will stand here in the center, then we will begin. Whenever I reach a zone safely without being touched, you must return to this center point to start the next round. There are ten rounds, and each will begin when you move to the center of the circle. If I make it through all ten rounds safely, the game is over."

"Ten? You think you're going to make it through ten rounds?" Inuyasha asked rhetorically. "There's no way you're even going to make it through half of that," he said with a broad, cocky grin.

"We shall see," Sesshomaru replied; his lips twisting smugly. "You speak confidently, though I see no reason why you should."

"You'll see soon enough," Inuyasha asserted with equal confidence.

Sesshomaru flew toward the tree he'd identified as zone 1. He watched as Inuyasha positioned himself in the center of the circle and turned toward him. Then, he immediately flashed toward the tree he'd identified as zone 2.

"Hey wait a minute," Inuyasha called out still standing in the center of the circle staring dumbly at him. "What the heck was that? Aren't you supposed to yell 'GO' or something?"

"GO?" Sesshomaru repeated, not knowing what he was referring to.

"Yeah, to let me know you're starting to move so I can get ready."

"Get ready?" Sesshomaru asked surprised about such a statement. "When you step into the circle, you should _be_ ready," he stated flatly. "Besides, I believe if I do yell this 'Go' as you desire, that will put you at a greater disadvantage, since I would be the one yelling it and I will already know when I am going to 'Go'."

"Well, just try it and let me see," Inuyasha demanded stubbornly.

"Fine, 'GO'," Sesshomaru called out as he flashed toward the boulder he identified as zone 3.

"Shit, wait a minute," Inuyasha yelled again, his feet had twisted beneath him; as he barely moved from the circle yet again. "That's not fair either. We were talking. You gotta at least wait until we're finished talking."

Sesshomaru closed his eyes briefly as he exhaled. "Since I was the last one talking; I believe I was finished," he insisted. "That is how I was able to yell this 'Go' you believed was so relevant."

"Well, then maybe I should be the one to yell 'Go'."

"If you believe it is necessary; do as you wish," Sesshomaru said, conceding to a point he believed had no true relevance.

Inuyasha stood in the center of the circle and studied Sesshomaru. He'd made it from zone 1 to zone 2, then to zone 3; but now that he was going to be the one yelling 'Go'. He knew he'd get to zone 4 before that youkai lord could. Planning out his strategy, he prepared himself, then took a deep breath. "GO," he yelled out and began to leap in the direction of the boulder Sesshomaru had identified as zone 4. But the youkai lord had outsmarted him once again, because instead of going to the anticipated zone 4, he had retraced his steps and retreated to zone 2.

"Ah come on Sesshomaru. What the hell is that, now? Aren't you supposed to go in a circle?"

"When did I say that?" Sesshomaru wanted to know, as he narrowed his brows. He had never recalled encountering such difficulties when performing this exercise before. But he had to remember why he was doing this. He could not allow himself to become frustrated before they had even started. "I believe I said that I would have the right to travel in any manner, in any direction from zone to zone and back again."

Inuyasha knew he had said that, but he had never even considered that youkai reversing course as a possibility. He'd simply made the assumption that Sesshomaru was going to go in one direction. But he believed he understood this game now. "Okay, wait a minute," Inuyasha said. He had to think about this a little bit. Sesshomaru said the youkai in the center was usually blindfolded. So that meant they'd have to use their sense of smell only. Perhaps Sesshomaru had deliberately put him at a disadvantage by allowing him to see. Maybe the whole point of this game was to use his sense of smell. That meant he'd have to scent Sesshomaru's intended direction from the moment he left the safe zone. And since the distance he had to travel was half of Sesshomaru's he should be able to do this. Okay, he thought suppressing a shifty grin, now he had it. He could do this.

"GO," he yelled out closing his eyes as he simultaneously scented the youkai lord's planned movement. An overwhelming swarm of Sesshomaru's scent was indeed headed to zone 3. Inuyasha was off, with outstretched arms, planning to tag the youkai lord mid-way to his goal.

Believing he was close enough, the hanyou took a monstrous leap forward, thinking he'd land on his brother's back or some such. Inuyasha, though, soon found himself face down in the dirt, just a few feet short of the zone 3 goal. As he opened his eyes with a start, he realized Sesshomaru had managed to deceive him yet again. The youkai lord had not headed to zone 3 at all. Once more he had moved in the opposite direction and had retreated to his original zone 1.

"What was that," Inuyasha yelped pulling his face from the dirt. "You were headed here, I know it. I scented you."

"Did you?" Sesshomaru asked, narrowing his eyes, slightly.

"Yeah, you know I did. So what was that?"

"That was you not fully utilizing your scenting abilities, or your sight," Sesshomaru said calmly. "You allowed yourself to be deceived by a swarm of youkai, instead of scenting beyond it."

"Swarm of youkai?" Inuyasha questioned as he lifted himself to his feet. "You're able to redirect your youkai scent."

"Not redirect it, just project it; as can you," Sesshomaru said leaning against the tree. "If you had kept your eyes opened and used your nose, you would have easily noticed the deception."

"I can't do any such thing," Inuyasha protested.

"Are you telling me you cannot flare your youki?" Sesshomaru asked, slipping his hands into the sleeves of his haori. Was the hanyou's development even less than he had thought?

"Well yeah, but...," Inuyasha grew thoughtful. Flare his youki? Wasn't that only an ability used by full youkai?

"But what?"

Inuyasha knew that flaring his youki was not something he ever really did; at least not the way Sesshomaru was saying. In fact, except for the youki he utilized to leap into the air, use his strength, his sense of smell or his claws; he'd thought any ability he may have had to flare any youki only happened when he'd been overtaken by his youkai blood. He had actually never really considered what it meant to be a hanyou. He'd just always been a hanyou raised as a human, who wanted to be a full fledged youkai. "But you said the youkai in the center is usually blindfolded," Inuyasha said trying to redirect the conversation. "How could they know where you're going?"

"They know by scenting the wind. A full youkai's sense of smell is far more powerful. That is why I told you to use your sight," the youkai lord said quietly, attempting to temper his patience. The hanyou refused to utilize his natural youkai abilities. He reacted more like a human than a hanyou. He wondered if that annoyed him more than his actually being half human. "If you had done that, you would have scented the change in the wind occurring in two directions. You closed your eyes because you believed I was trying to deceive you, that is why I took advantage of that. Never put yourself at a disadvantage in front of your enemy."

"Enemy? I thought we were just...,"

"There is never a just, Inuyasha," Sesshomaru interrupted him as he studied him critically. "Every game ends with a winner and a loser. That should tell you that while you are engaged; your opponent is clearly your enemy. The person you hope to defeat."

"Does everything have to have a tactical advantage for you?"

"Does not everything have one?"

Inuyasha studied him. "Okay, just one more question. You have to move right? You can't just stay at a safe zone, right?"

"No, I cannot."

Inuyasha no longer felt like this was just a game. Sesshomaru's skills were far superior to his own and he had the ability to outwit him at every turn, but he wasn't going to just give in; not yet. If that youkai lord thought he was going to get the better of him just because he was a hanyou. He had better think again. Moving back toward the circle, he studied him carefully. Sesshomaru was standing at zone 1. He could probably go in either direction. He had the ability to project his scent; but he had to move somewhere. He just needed to be sure of his direction before he moved. "Prepare yourself," Inuyasha warned as he stepped into the center of the circle. "You're going down and you're going down hard," he finished with a broad grin covering his face.

Sesshomaru simply twisted his lips in a crooked grin.

"GO," Inuyasha called, sniffing out the youkai lord's movement and angling his direction toward zone 2 in such a manner that he was confident he would intercept the youkai lord about two feet from the goal. He immediately rushed forward with his latest plan to pounce, and he did; straight into the flurry of trees laying directly between the middle of zone 1 and zone 2, knocking several trees to the ground as he collapsed with a mighty crackle on top of them. "You cheated," he yelped, managing to dig his face out of the rubble. "You stopped."

"And how is that cheating?" Sesshomaru asked upon once more, securely reaching his safe zone. "My purpose in the game is to avoid being tagged, yours is the exact opposite. You seem to forget, that I too have the ability to scent."

"It's cheating when you can simply stop in mid-air," Inuyasha barked out loud, rising to his feet. "I am not you. I can't simply stop like that and you knew just when I was gonna..., Shit...,," Inuyasha barked, yanking at a large branch stuck in his arm. "I got a hole in my arm."

"Let me see it," Sesshomaru said moving back toward him and reaching for his arm.

"No, it's all right. It's just a small branch," Inuyasha said pulling out the two inch thick, foot long branch, that was wedged into his forearm straight through to the other side.

"And an arm full of splinters," Sesshomaru said reaching out his striped arm to take hold of Inuyasha's wounded one and spotting about six to ten slivers of wood in various states of protrusion. "You cannot get them all out by yourself," he said as he gently began squeezing his claws around each side of the intrusive particles. He retrieved the first one, then continued his efforts until they had all been removed. Raising his brother's arm to his mouth, he licked the wound with his tongue to remove the blood and heal the wound made by the hefty sized branch.

"What the...," Inuyasha balked, trying to rescue his assaulted arm.

"Silence, this wound is severe," Sesshomaru said, holding tight. "I'm only trying to heal you," he said attempting to finalize the process of sealing the wound as he pushed the severed pieces of flesh closer together and slivered his tongue slowly across the injury.

"With your tongue?" Inuyasha continued to struggle. "What kind of shit is that?"

"Do not be foolish," Sesshomaru said, continuing his ministrations as he held tightly, then finally blew his breath to seal the wound.

"You're a freak, you know that?" Inuyasha said upon finally regaining possession of his arm. What the hell was wrong with that youkai? Just last night he's so angry at him that he has to run off to possibly keep himself from killing the stupid hanyou, and today, not twelve hours later he's sliding his damned tongue all over his arm. "The damned thing would have healed on its own."

"Now, it will heal faster."

"It would have healed fast enough, on its own," Inuyasha said still angry. Was that youkai lord insane or something? Or was he just so obsessed with his own role as the lord of the western lands that the thought of personal space never even occurred to him? People didn't do that kind of shit for him; especially not Sesshomaru. "I certainly didn't need you licking your damned tongue all over my arm."

"It was simply a youkai healing technique," Sesshomaru said, surprised at the reaction he received.

"Yeah, well you can keep your damned techniques to yourself," Inuyasha said, not quite sure what to do with his own arm now, as he stared down at it stupidly. He wanted to wipe that slobber off, but incredibly, from what he saw, the skin looked like it was already starting to rejoin. "I don't want to play anymore."

"Is that because of ...?"

"Yeah, that's because of ...," Inuyasha snapped angrily, his ears flicking wildly as he spun and began to retreat. "I'm going back to the village."

"Inuyasha," Sesshomaru started to reach out to touch his shoulder, but stopped himself. It had never occurred to him that the hanyou would so blatantly reject youkai style forms of healing; when in truth, he should have known that he would know nothing about them. There was probably no one who would have offered to heal him in such a manner. Besides, he should have realized he had probably spent little time around youkai or even hanyou, anyway. "That was my mistake. It was not my intent to make you uncomfortable. I thought of you as my little brother who was injured and I believed I could help."

"Yeah, well...," pissed off and embarrassed, Inuyasha didn't know what to say and simply stood in his tracks feeling absolutely violated. For the life of him, he would never understand Sesshomaru. "You need to remember, I can heal on my own. Maybe not as fast as you, but I can still heal."

"Understood," Sesshomaru said with a quiet breath as he studied him, doubtfully. "Your feelings have been made quite clear," was the dispassionate reply. Sesshomaru realized the hanyou was far more human, than he had previously thought. Was he too late in his decision to attempt to meld their lives together? Perhaps the hanyou's previous life around humans was so deeply embedded in his nature that he would never be able to get through to him. But still, he at least no longer looked so determined to return to his human village. "Would you care to continue?"

"No, that game wasn't fair anyway," Inuyasha said sitting down, then collapsing to his back; making his decision to stay. What was at the village anyway?

"Not fair, in what manner?" Sesshomaru asked as he looked down at him.

"Your speed is so much faster than mine."

"Yes, but it is not just a matter of speed," Sesshomaru said removing his swords and loosening the knot of his heko-obi, winding it around his hand as he worked on the buckles that seemed to close from the inside of his haramaki. There was clearly nothing visible on its exterior; just smooth black with silver grey youkai bone plates that stretched along his body from chest to thigh.

"You're taking it off," Inuyasha gasped as he watched him. "But, I lost." Pushing himself up onto his elbows, he studied the effort required for Sesshomaru to remove the contraption; wondering if he should offer assistance.

At that moment, the air resonated with the sound of a buckle popping free. "Yes, you did," Sesshomaru said as he pulled the black and silver bone-plated pauldron over his head. After placing it to the side, he retied his obi and replaced his swords before reaching behind his head to gather his hair and pull it across his shoulder. Finally, he lay down beside his brother. "But since it was not truly a game as you know them, I believe this is only fair."

"Not a game as I know it?" Inuyasha asked curling his arms behind his head and looking up at the sky above. He had already surmised this was more than a game. "What does that mean?"

"In truth, it was more a training exercise that chichi-ue used to help me hone my skills."

"A training exercise? Did you ever win?"

"No."

"You never won and you make me do something you couldn't even do?" Inuyasha diverted his gaze toward him momentarily.

"It was not presented as a game to be won," Sesshomaru said reflectively. "At that time, I was but a young youkai, and chichi-ue's abilities far exceeded my own. You are a young hanyou. I would say our abilities in each perspective were equal. Was chichi-ue wrong for putting me through such an exercise? Since I do not know the games that you might play, I believed it was appropriate."

Inuyasha didn't believe the game, which was actually a training exercise, had been presented completely without purpose. "So what did you learn?" He asked, not bothering to turn his gaze away from the bright blue sky and the billowy clouds that floated above.

Sesshomaru had not expected that Inuyasha would have had any chance of winning, which of course, he did not. If he had, then it would have been his own skills that he needed to evaluate. But he had not proposed the exercise to demean the hanyou in any way; he'd simply wanted to gauge his development level and his attack strategies. Unfortunately, his suspicions had been confirmed; but he'd already surmised that during their battles over the years. His brother was more of a reactionist, than a strategist. He looked for advantages, but did not utilize the natural advantages he was born with to their fullest extent. At least now, he had some idea where his training requirements were most needed. That is, if the hanyou would allow him the opportunity to train him.

"I learned that your scenting abilities are adequate and you are an excellent reactionist, but you require improvement in strategizing."

"Was that your intent? To figure out where I was weak?"

"I have also learned where you are strong."

"But as far as you're concerned, that strength is merely a weakness, isn't it?"

Sesshomaru remained silent for a moment, then turned and perched himself on a bent elbow as he looked down into his brother's eyes. "If I believe you have any weaknesses; it is your habit of constantly underestimating your own value," he said slowly as if trying to drive home a point to a very young child; as he studied the large vibrant golden eyes that pulsed with discomfort and uncertainty, staring back into his own. "You possess abilities that you seem reluctant to use. But life itself is about constant change and improvement. Simply because one may be weak in some area now, does not mean they cannot improve in that or any area in the future. We all have our own shortcomings," Sesshomaru said reclining next to his brother once more; realizing his thoughts had ventured to close to the subject line that had bothered him last night. "Did I not improve recently when I finally learned to stop attempting to defeat you to obtain your sword?"

Inuyasha closed his eyes. He didn't know why Sesshomaru had proposed such a game. He did believe, though, it was because he wanted to find out something about him for whatever reason. Sesshomaru had a habit of doing things like that. He had no idea why, or even what Sesshomaru truly thought about his performance, or what he was going to do, now that he knew whatever it was he was trying to learn. Was he simply trying to find his weakness so he would know how best to kill him one day? Inuyasha didn't ask, and so the youkai and the hanyou simply lay there, side by side for quite some time. Though engaging in random, sporadic conversation; neither bothered to ask the questions that tore at them.

Hope you enjoyed and continue to read; although a few comments to feed the ego would be greatly appreciated as well.

hakama - (pants)  
haramaki - (armor)  
heko-obi - (sash)  
inu - (dog)  
kyuu shou - (flying flight sphere, ball, orb – Sessy's ball energy)  
mokomoko - (Sessy's fluff)  
Osuwari - (sit command: dog-style)  
oyaji's - (old man's)  
youkai - (demon)  
youki - (demon power) 


	9. Chapter 9 What Happened Now?

**A/N: Okay my lovelies hope you enjoy this update. I tried to put it out quickly because I was delayed over the holidays. Hopefully will have a new update out by Friday as well.**

**So last time, Sesshomaru played a game with Inuyasha that he used to play with his chichi-ue when he was much younger. But in truth, it was more of a training exercise. So why did he do that? Did Inuyasha even appreciate the fact that his elder brother had done something with him, other than try to kill him, for once in his life? Did that game do anything to relieve the pent up tension between them, or are their individual emotions to deeply ingrained in them to make any kind of difference. Or, will they both look at it as a starting point. I truly hope so.**

**Sesshomaru & Inuyasha: Kyoudai in Kōtetsu  
Sesshomaru & Inuyasha: Brothers in Arms**

**Sho 9 - Nani Izenkei Konkai?**  
**Chapter 9 - What Happened Now?**

It was now late afternoon; the sun still blazed warm overhead, while a gentle breeze buzzed softly across the stream as it flowed slowly in front of them. Sitting silently side by side at the base of two large nearby trees, the youkai lord and the hanyou each concealed their private thoughts.

Sesshomaru realized that even though he had never allowed himself to be bothered by the weather, other than feeling slightly disrobed; he found himself feeling more comfortable sitting without his mokomoko and his haramaki. He decided he would forego it for a while, at least until he went back on patrol. Of course, he would never follow the hanyou and go without boots, but he could not deny the fact that other than the change in his ultimate appearance, he was considerably more comfortable without the additional attire; which was odd, since comfort had never been a requirement for him. He had been properly attired ever since he had learned how to display his mokomoko.

But the youkai lord knew he had removed it for the hanyou's sake; because he had gotten angry after his youkai style healing treatment of him, but at least this way, they could appear closer in status. Perhaps that would help them begin to bond; eventually. Sesshomaru was uncertain why he was making such an effort to ensure the hanyou's comfort level around him, but he knew he was. It was only partially because of his promise to his chichi-ue; a promise he'd made after the information Toutousai had provided. He was now aware of his chichi-ue's concern over his eldest son's limited display of emotions and his concern for the hanyou's ability to protect himself. The youkai lord knew, though, it also had something to do with the fact that once he had made up his mind to do something, he was not the type to fall short of his objective. He would do whatever he believed was required to accomplish his goal; which is why once he had decided to save him, there was no way he would allow himself to fail.

Just barely diverting his attention to study the hanyou beside him, Sesshomaru wondered whether it might be too soon to act on the thoughts he had been considering for the past few months. He also wondered if it was too late, if he did. He had never hesitated to do what it was his desire to do. He had never considered how his actions might affect anyone other than himself. He had never had to. Once he had decided to do something, he did it. Neither Jaken, Rin nor anyone else, had ever stopped him from doing what it was his desire to do when he wished to do it. But he knew taking on the hanyou would be different. He was more human than he'd ever thought. He was more of a reactionist than he had ever considered. Such things had never interested him; but he was certain after having a closer look at the hanyou over the past couple of days, that personal interactions were important to him. Yes, Inuyasha would rush into things without thinking about the repercussions first; but it was his inane tendency to always wish to run back to the humans that infuriated the youkai lord most.

He knew though, his display of anger the previous night had not helped matters. The hanyou's trust of him was already very low. What reason would Inuyasha have to travel with someone he did not trust? Sesshomaru understood now that the hanyou had hopes of eventually being accepted by those human's he loved so much; for whatever reason. They were his first thought; would probably always be his first and only thought. When things did not go as he desired, the only thing he could think of was to run back to them; like he was some pathetic mongrel begging them for their meager scraps of affection. Protecting them as if he was performing tricks for his beloved master.

He knew he could compel him to travel with him. That was youkai custom. He could demand it as repayment for his debt. He had saved his life, after all; but that was not what he wanted. That was not the way to build trust. Besides, the hanyou likely knew nothing of youkai customs. Other than the encounters they had experienced over the years, Inuyasha had likely known no other true youkai in his life; except of course, for those little low-level youkai he had seen him with. It would not be appropriate to simply thrust him into the life in such a manner. His reaction to his healing treatment was a definite indication that would not work. He had learned more about the hanyou in the past few days, than he had ever known. To compel him, would be no better than what the humans had done. That was not the promise he had made to his chichi-ue. They had never been friends; they had never even been brothers. They may very well never be. But he knew they definitely would not be if he did not find an appropriate manner in which to reach out to him.

Inuyasha hated thinking, and he knew that; but he did it when he had to, and now, sitting here with Sesshomaru, what else could he do? Besides, he had no one to chase down, no one to fight; so he sat there, trying not to divert his gaze in his brother's direction. But try as he might, he could not prevent his thoughts from going there. What was this all about? Why was Sesshomaru allowing him to sit so closely beside him? Had the youkai lord lost his mind? Perhaps even his sight and sense of smell as well?

Inuyasha tried to remember what had happened before all this had begun; before Sesshomaru had taken him on that crazy trip to his mother's grave a couple of weeks ago. There had to have been something and he'd simply missed it. But he couldn't remember anything important. The only thing he remembered was when his brother had asked if he believed the miko would be willing to care for Rin for a while. Yeah, that was crazy in itself, Sesshomaru coming to him and asking him something like that. But other than that, there was nothing else; because before that, they'd all been involved in that battle to destroy Naraku. So what did he miss?

Was Sesshomaru simply messing with his head, or as insane as it was, was he intentionally trying to be nice to him, a hanyou? For what purpose? If he knew anything about that arrogant brother of his, it was that if he did do something like that, he would do it only because he wanted something in return. But hell, what did he have of any value?

Now, this thoughts drifted back to the time before he was sealed, it was about 40 or 50 years after Sesshomaru had left him alone and they'd run into each other for only the third time since that day; about 10 years since the last time he'd seen him. Sesshomaru was with Jaken, by then.

He remembered that Sesshomaru's scent was the first scent that he'd ever committed to his memory. When he'd scented him, it had seemed like a ghost from his past. He'd immediately known it was Sesshomaru he was tracking. But for the life of him, he couldn't figure out why Sesshomaru hadn't scented him and stopped. But he'd trailed that scent for at least 30 minutes until he found him. It was almost like that time after his mother had died and he'd went running up to him. But there was no jumping into his arms this time. He was too big to even try, but there was no way that youkai was going to allow it anyway. He remembered calling to him several times, before Sesshomaru finally acknowledged him and stopped to turn around.

"Inuyasha, still alive, are you?" Sesshomaru had said when he turned to face him. "And you've managed that on your claws alone, I see."

"Lord Sesshomaru, who is that?" the little youkai had wanted to know.

"A hanyou of no consequence."

"Big brother, I..."

"Your brother? Me lord, is that...?" the little imp had quickly interjected

Sesshomaru had glared at him. "Do not call me that. You are no brother of mine," he had snarled with a maliciousness Inuyasha couldn't remember ever hearing before or since; not even from those humans who hated him; or those who still did. "I will kill you if you ever call me that again. You will address me as, Sesshomaru," he had none too tactfully reprimanded him with an inordinate amount of disdain spewing across his typically disinterested lips. That look of his that was all too familiar, today. "Let's go Jaken. I'm going to fly," he'd said as he simply turned away; leaving Inuyasha stunned and shaking where he stood.

"Yes, me lord," Jaken had said, giving him a haughty look as he made his way to his brother's mokomoko and they'd disappeared into the evening sky.

That was the first time Sesshomaru had ever threatened to kill him. From the look in his eyes and the tone of his voice, Inuyasha knew he had been serious. Any subsequent encounters hadn't gotten any better, culminating with the times Sesshomaru had actually tried to kill him when he'd been released from his seal, as if doing that-being released-was the ultimate insult. He couldn't help but think that Sesshomaru had seemed to hate him even more as the years went by; which made this moment, what they were doing now, seem so incredibly out of character for the youkai lord; not to mention for him.

Inuyasha couldn't remember how long it was after that incident that he'd realized Sesshomaru had probably scented him from the very beginning, and had made every effort to ignore his scent. He wished he understood him more; understood exactly what it was he had done to cause him to hate him so much.

"What do you plan to do now that Naraku is dead, Inuyasha?" Sesshomaru asked, pulling himself from his own musings; still uncertain about his desire to ask the question now; which puzzled him greatly. He could never recall ever having uncertainty in his life.

"I hadn't thought much about it," Inuyasha replied. In truth, he'd thought a lot about it. He couldn't count the number of times he'd thought about that. Lately, there'd been little else to do except think. Seems like every day since Naraku had been killed and his friends had departed, he'd wondered what he would do now. But he saw no future for himself. His life just seemed to stretch on and on into oblivion with no true future. He had no one left; no friends; nothing. Sure, he could still visit Miroku and Sango when he wanted, but what fun was that. They were planning to start a family. What need did they have to have a hanyou hanging around?

Inuyasha couldn't help but think how short-sighted he had been not to even consider what the end would really mean while they were on the chase. But he knew that was likely because he'd never really thought about anything. When he did, somehow, he'd thought they'd always be together; that they'd kill Naraku and things would continue as always. But they hadn't; and now all he knew was that those days were the best times of his life. Serves him right, for leaving all the thinking to Miroku. If he'd done some thinking on his own, maybe he could have come up with some way for them all to still be together; but no, if they hadn't killed Naraku when they did; Miroku, himself, would likely be dead by now. His kazana was already starting to rupture during that battle and he would have definitely been sucked into it. In fact, he would have been, if he hadn't caught up to him and stopped him from opening it that time. "Why? What about you?"

"In a month, I must go back on patrol across the western lands," Sesshomaru replied wondering if the hanyou indeed spent so little time planning out his life. If so, perhaps any implied structure he had to offer would truly not be appreciated. "I was planning to wait until Rin was trained, but I do not believe I should," he said, still not knowing if Inuyasha would train her or get the youkai slayer to do it. He said he would, but the hanyou was so temperamental that he was likely to change his mind for any number of reasons. He would probably do it eventually, but he could not allow his patrol of the western lands to go untended for much longer. "Except perhaps in general, I have not actually patrolled in some time while Naraku was around."

"So where are you going?"

"I shall start along the coast, then move inland," Sesshomaru decided not to ask; not yet. He would not be leaving for several weeks. He would give the hanyou more time to get accustomed to the idea of being around him. He believed he understood him well enough to know that he would not wish to cling to the older brother who had tried to kill him unless some level of camaraderie was built.

With the sun nearly setting, Sesshomaru finally scurried from his seat as he rose to begin to make his way back in the direction of his camp. Inuyasha rose behind him then stopped as he actually looked at his brother for the first time since he'd removed all of his accoutrements.

Without the mound of fur that normally draped across his shoulder or the armor he'd never seen him without, Sesshomaru somehow seemed smaller and it surprised him. He was still much taller and his shoulders were far broader than his own, but without the armor the narrow tapered plane of his waist was clearly visible; accented by the obi that circled it; his thin haori clung to the defined muscles of his chest. "Huh," he said, suddenly stunned by a thought. Sesshomaru looked almost approachable.

"What is it?" Sesshomaru inquired as his gaze dropped down to look at himself then went back up to the steady scrutinizing gaze of his younger brother.

"You look ... different," Inuyasha said as he shrugged without providing clear meaning. His ears twitched uncomfortably as he turned away. "And I guess I just never thought you'd actually ever take that stuff off."

"And now that I have?"

"Now," Inuyasha looked up for a brief moment, before turning away to conceal a crooked grin. "I guess I can't just think of you as a stuck up youkai anymore."

"Wretched hanyou," Sesshomaru snarled as he nipped his ear slightly with the tip of his claws.

"Oww," Inuyasha yelped reaching up to protect his ear; exaggerating the degree of pain he felt as he accidentally on purpose bumped into the youkai lord. "Maybe I was wrong about that," he snarled, humor flickering in his eyes as they began to move in the direction of the camp. "You forgot your haramaki," he offered upon realization; all the while realizing he had not broached the subject that had angered Sesshomaru so much the previous night.

Throughout the day, Sesshomaru had actually seemed to be directing him away from the topic. But at least the youkai lord no longer seemed to be angry at him. Inuyasha was beginning to think that maybe it was a subject best left alone. He couldn't help but wonder though, if doing that would cause that event to come back and bite him one day. Sesshomaru had never shown so much emotion toward him before and he couldn't help but think how little he knew of him and what actually made him tick. But it seemed like that much emotion wouldn't be shown unless he either truly cared or truly hated him. It didn't take much for Inuyasha to figure out which one it really was, Sesshomaru had never made a secret of his feelings toward him. Perhaps he just got a kick out of freaking with the stupid hanyou's head. He did seem to get a kick out of keeping that stupid imp around. Maybe he was in search of bigger game.

"It is unimportant for the moment," Sesshomaru responded as they continued toward the camp.

Inuyasha looked up at him thoughtfully. "So Sesshomaru...," he began uncertainly, not confident that Sesshomaru would truly be willing to tell this hanyou anything about himself, despite the fact that he'd already proclaimed he knew so much about him. "You said that game you proposed was a training exercise. What else did you do?" He asked finally, trying to get a sense of what Sesshomaru's life had been like. He knew, undoubtedly, it had been a lot different from his own.

"Kenjutsu," the youkai lord said, not bothering to divulge the fact that that was the primary mode of training he had considered engaging in with his brother. He was not naïve. In fact, he was fairly certain Inuyasha would not willingly accept his thoughts of wanting to enhance his fighting style just yet and thus he refused to divulge his ultimate plan at this time. He had no doubts Inuyasha would simply look at it as an attempt to degrade him in some way.

"And?"

"Bujutsu," the youkai lord added, knowing that fighting was what he had done all his life. It was what he knew. It had actually become his purpose. He knew the hanyou himself loved to fight and he believed it was probably the only way they could begin to truly bond.

"Anything else?" Inuyasha questioned further, despite already having a good sense of where this conversation was headed.

"Bugei."

"But those are all Koryū techniques, aren't they?" Inuyasha asked surprised; was fighting his brother's only interest? "When you were young, did you ever do anything fun?"

"Those exercises were fun," Sesshomaru stated evenly, as he proceeded toward his camp.

"Fun how? It's just fighting."

"They helped improve my abilities as a warrior," Sesshomaru said diverting a narrow golden gaze down toward the hanyou.

"And that's fun to you?" Inuyasha asked coming to a stop and looking up into Sesshomaru's eyes as the youkai lord stopped beside him.

"Since that was my ultimate objective, I could have wanted for nothing more," Sesshomaru replied without emphasis, as if he truly had no interests other than fighting.

But Inuyasha wondered if that was just his brother's calm demeanor; he truly was a hard person to figure out.

"Do you not have your own interest in battle?" Sesshomaru asked as he began to move again, curious to get a sense of whether he had judged accurately.

"Maybe not enough," Inuyasha responded almost listlessly. Most of his early life was so different. Before he'd gotten the Tetsusaiga; he'd fought only when it was absolutely necessary until he'd met Kikyo and they'd gone on those demon hunting expeditions together. It was no wonder Sesshomaru had always shown such confidence whenever he had approached him. It wasn't just his abilities as a youkai; he'd trained all his life to be a warrior. That was probably just one of the many reasons he had been so angry at him when he had been unable to obtain the Tetsusaiga from their oyaji's grave. He must have really hated it when he was burned by the kekkei. Suddenly, a thought he wished hadn't come to mind, flooded him like a deluge. How long had Sesshomaru been looking for the Tetsusaiga?

About 200 yards from the camp, Sesshomaru stopped. The hum and scent was unmistakable, even for the young hanyou's scenting and hearing abilities. Sesshomaru and Inuyasha both scanned the skies above. "Ah crap, saimyoushou," Inuyasha barked, as a hand full of bees headed straight toward them. Not even enough to warrant the hanyou using his sword on them. "If they're looking for Naraku, do you think we should tell them he's dead?"

Raising his hand, Inuyasha cracked his knuckles in preparation as he waited for them to get closer. "I'll get them," he called to Sesshomaru as he leapt upward; preparing to attack. "Sankon tetsusou," he shouted, releasing his claw attack, but he was immediately stunned when his gaze took in an unfamiliar sight, causing him to miss his step as he landed and fell flat on his bottom. The demon bees had been sliced to shreds; dead from what should have been his faithful claw attack; but his attack, somehow, seemed... different.

Smack-dab in the center of it, one of his energy lances spiraled into a long thin whip, catching him completely off guard as he seemed to have lost control of it. Looking down at his claws in stunned confusion, he then saw it as well; protruding below the hem of his haori's sleeve-a faint, pale pink trace of something that looked like a striped marking-Sesshomaru's striped marking. "What the heck was that?" Inuyasha asked of no one in particular as he looked up once more and stared at the spot his energy lance had just appeared, then pushed up his sleeve to glare at his arm again. The stripe was growing fainter as he stared at it, but there was no mistaking it, it was there.

"What was what?" Sesshomaru turned to look down at the hanyou, who remained sprawled on his bottom.

"You jerk; what the heck did you do to me?" Inuyasha's face growled with fury; his eyes vibrating with anger and hatred. That youkai puts his tongue on his arm, and the first thing he sees, is that his energy attack is not his energy attack at all, it's some weak version of Sesshomaru's.

The youkai lord furrowed his brows in confusion.

"Look at that," Inuyasha ordered, leaping to his feet and pushing back his sleeve; stretching his arm out for the youkai lord's view. But by this time, there was nothing to see, nothing that is, except a healing, tanned bare arm. That, though, did not stop the hanyou. "You've always hated the way I was haven't you? Even that damned game you proposed was for no other reason than for you to find out what's wrong with the stupid hanyou, wasn't it?"

Sesshomaru watched him in puzzlement; his eyes narrowed and guarded.

"Now, you try to make me into another you-a shittier version of you. Well, whether you like it or not Sesshomaru, I'm not you, and I never will be!" Angered beyond rational thought, Inuyasha reached out, flinging sharp, deadly clawed fingers deep into Sesshomaru's face, viciously peeling away the skin, leaving deep, horrid gash marks that revealed bone and muscle. "I'll kill you for that," Inuyasha yowled with a growl so darkly dangerous, an ordinary human would have utterly died from fright.

Stunned as a slight confusion skated across his otherwise finely tuned features, by what seemed a sudden, unprovoked attack; a sure sign of the hanyou's unpredictability; his tendency to simply react without warning; Sesshomaru's eyes narrowed in disbelief as he seethed internally. He felt the wind permeate is very throat as anger burned deep inside him, his youki blaring from his voice. "You filthy hanyou," he bellowed, simultaneously smashing his fist into Inuyasha's face, swinging with such vicious force, it sent the hanyou flying backward crashing hard to the ground and skidding along as gravel fluttered up in every direction. Sesshomaru's flying claws had just barely nicked the delicate skin of Inuyasha's cheek, in turn tearing its own gashes down the smooth flesh; blood filling the crevices as it flowed off his chin. "I should have let you die!"

"Yeah, you should have let me die," Inuyasha countered hatefully; quite used to the taste of blood in his own mouth as he spat it out angrily. "I'd rather be dead than turned into a crappy copy of you. But you piece of shit, if you think you can kill me now, come on and try," Inuyasha crawled back to his feet, pulling himself off the ground, drawing his Tetsusaiga to the ready. "Let's see who kills who," he spat maliciously.

Sesshomaru pulled his Bakusaiga from its sheath, the tang of metal whizzing through the air; but he stopped almost immediately upon fingering the leather bound tsuka. He could kill him in an instant, wipe him off the face of the earth if he so desired; his Bakusaiga would not fail as his Tokijin had failed. He would be gone and he'd have no further issues with this imprudent hanyou. But if he did that, would that not in fact make his efforts to save him pointless. Had he not stopped himself from killing him the previous night for that very reason? Almost as quickly as his anger had erupted, a sense of calm composure suddenly enveloped the youkai lord. Nothing this Sesshomaru did would ever be deemed pointless, by anyone. Without a word, Sesshomaru inhaled, then turned and slowly began to walk away; his long silver-white locks flowing and bouncing with his movements.

"What the heck are you doing Sesshomaru?" Inuyasha demanded from behind him. "Are you running away from me? Are you afraid to fight?"

"Go Inuyasha," Sesshomaru ordered, his expression unchanging as he sheathed his sword, calling across his shoulder as his almost soundless footsteps made their way across the grass, further away from where Inuyasha stood. "Escape with you life. Do not let me look upon your face again."

"What?" Inuyasha balked in disbelief, "Come back and fight me, you piece of shit."

Sesshomaru did not stop, nor did he offer any further comments. He was done. It was clear now, that any attempt at unity was impossible between them. He simply left his brother standing there, howling, with sword drawn and no one to fight.

Stunned speechless, Inuyasha stared through disheveled strands of white hair at the retreating back of his elder half-brother, Tetsusaiga dropping heavily to the grass. He nearly yelled out once more, just to make certain Sesshomaru had heard him; his eyes focused as he watched him intently to ensure he didn't suddenly fly back and swiftly plant the blade of his Bakusaiga in his gut. But Inuyasha knew if he continued to goad him, Sesshomaru would definitely answer his call; but if he did, then what? One of them would die for sure. Inuyasha couldn't be all that sure it wouldn't be him, because he had no idea if he had the guts or even the ability to kill Sesshomaru.

_I'd rather be dead than turned into a crappy copy of you._

That stupid, idiotic fool. He knew not how close he had come to his death. Was that his intent, to die? If not, what was that about, Sesshomaru wondered before attempting to refocus. He did not understand, but then he had rarely understood that hanyou. Was that what life with the hanyou to be about? A mass of confusion and mistrust? How had the hanyou assumed that he was attempting to change him? How had he assumed that he could? Sesshomaru exhaled heavily, placing his hand against the side of his face, then pulling it away as he stared at his palm. Truly, he should be dead for once more spilling the blood of this daiyoukai. But he had not killed him and he failed to understand why.

Sesshomaru breathed deeply now. This attempt at a relationship was. . .vexing to say the least. He literally accepts all forms of abuse from his human friends, yet issues uncalled for strikes against his only kin. Never had this Sesshomaru expended so much energy and accomplished so little. Was the hanyou even worth his efforts? He was nothing more than a hanyou, after all. He meant nothing to him. He was his chichi-ue's mistake, not his. Why should he want him in his life? Even if he had an answer to that, would anything ever change? He now knew what his chichi-ue wanted from him, but had he learned that too late? Did he even have the commitment to fulfill his chichi-ue's desire?

But more importantly, was his chichi-ue's desire even his desire? Why had he even bothered to make such a promise? Was it simply because of Toutousai's message as to why his chichi-ue had bequeathed his swords as he had? Why had he even cared about that? What merit was there in having his heart progress to a level of caring; and especially enough to care about him? Had he not always said that emotions led to nothing but trouble; that they put you at a severe disadvantage; that they made you weak?

Should he even care what his chichi-ue wanted him to do? He had killed himself after all. Well perhaps not killed himself, but he had allowed himself to die, had he not? No, he did not know that for certain, either. He may not be able to get pass the 'why' his chichi-ue had died, just yet; but he would not allow himself to believe he had wanted to die, without knowing for certain. Besides, whatever happened then, was done. He truly did not enjoy revisiting events of the past. He could not change it no matter how much the thoughts disturbed him; he needed to focus on the issues now.

But the issues now, were...

Was his own ability to tolerate the hanyou still so very low? Did he even want this to work himself, he wondered. Had the hanyou sensed that he did not? Should he simply leave things as they have always been? Perhaps too much time had passed for either of them; perhaps too much hatred had developed. The hanyou trusted him so little, if at all. He would not even accept his offers of assistance in his healing process. Is that why he had attacked? Was he displeased about how the healing of his arm was progressing? Sesshomaru did not know. Inuyasha had not said. He only knew that any unexplained development could easily result in an attack; an attack that could eventually cost the hanyou his life. If he had not maintained control, it probably would have already.

This was far more difficult than he had ever imagined it would be. It was difficult to watch the hanyou's ignorance of what it meant to be the son of a daiyoukai. It was difficult to watch the hanyou parade around in that human village, allowing them to treat him like he was nothing. It was difficult watching the hanyou protect those who cared nothing for him. But the hardest part was watching the hanyou wield a sword for their protection with absolutely no idea how little his protection was appreciated.

But perhaps he should not toss the hanyou aside again so swiftly. He had done that once before already. He had made himself into a more powerful youkai when he had to compensate for the lost of his left arm; but if the changes in his heart had warranted that return, then perhaps there was more merit in caring than he had previously thought. Yes, he had survived without his arm, but he could not honestly say he preferred being without it.

Straightening and baring his damaged face to the cooling afternoon air, the youkai lord closed his eyes briefly, breathed warily, then turned and headed back to his camp.

"Lord Sesshomaru, where have you..." Jaken's customary greeting was cut short by a deep raspy gasp. "Me Lord, you're wounded," he exclaimed upon spotting the intensely deep claw marks marring Sesshomaru's face. Despite popular opinion, he indeed did have a brain inside his head, and had instinctively understood its origin. "It was that filthy hanyou, Inuyasha wasn't it. I knew you shouldn't trust him. He's just a low level hanyou. Did you kill him me lord?" Jaken asked almost delightedly content in the knowledge of knowing that for his lord's sake, Inuyasha was finally dead.

"Silence Jaken."

"What?" Jaken asked, his eyes widening in confusion. "I don't understand me lord, does that mean you _didn't_kill him?" he asked with a disheartening groan; his little feet moving quickly to keep pace with his lord's long, graceful strides. "Why on earth not?" Jaken demanded, straining to look up into the youkai lord's face, while simultaneously trying to avoid being stepped on. "You have given him far too many chances."

Sesshomaru closed his eyes briefly once more. "Silence," he repeated with a slightly louder rasp to his voice, not bothering to look down as he flared his youki to seal the wounds. The scars would remain for a while longer, but at least the wounds were sealed. He should have done that before he had returned. Why had he not? Had the hanyou's actions disrupted his thought patterns so completely? Or did he simply wish to hear Jaken's annoying comments? But even if he had sealed them, Jaken would have certainly noticed the scars regardless; so his comments would not have gone unspoken either way.

"He does this after you save his miserable life and you don't kill him?" Jaken persisted. "You need to punish him for his insolence," he added finally.

"I said silence," Sesshomaru snapped with a vicious burliness, as he shot a sharp, threatening glare down in Jaken's direction. That little youkai could be so tiring; and he'd had enough of this conversation. He could not understand how after all these years, Jaken could still have occasion to cause him to raise his voice or repeat himself.

The frightened little youkai braced himself for the inevitable head thrashing, which did not come, leaving him more confused than ever. "Yes me lord," he said then grumbled softly to himself. 'Me lord shows more respect to that stupid hanyou than he does his faithful servant. Could he possibly be afraid of him? A lowly hanyou?' he mumbled, then immediately silenced his disgruntled thoughts when his lord's fist connected with the top of his head-hard.

Unbelievable, no far worst than that, how could he have been such a fool; and a fool he was, to think for even a second, that Sesshomaru and him could ever get along as brothers. First chance that crazy youkai lord gets, he does his best to try to remake him in his image.

Inuyasha jumped, leaped and soared through the air as quickly as he could as he wended his way back to his village. He tried his primary claw attack, the same one he'd used against the saimyoushou-sankon tetsusou, then he dug his claws into his arms and flung the blood to initiate his secondary, more powerful claw attack.

_You filthy hanyou. I should have let you die. _

"Hijin-ketsusou," Inuyasha called as he slung his claws forward. He needed to duplicate what he'd seen earlier. He had to be sure. He tried it again and again. He pulled up his sleeve and stared at his arm. Then he tried his claws once more; almost frantically. But the results were the same as they had always been, nothing unusual, no Sesshomaru whip-like energy; no Sesshomaru youkai markings; no Sesshomaru anything; nothing at all. Did he imagine what he saw? Did he attack Sesshomaru for no reason? No, he saw it. He knew he saw it. But where the heck was it now? What happened?

Arriving finally, Inuyasha stalked his way to Kaede-babaa's hut to demand answers to questions he already knew she probably didn't have the answers to. The sun had set and the sky had darkened, but as if waiting for him, the old miko was sitting on the porch outside her hut. She had lit a small fire in the porch pit and was separating some peas into a bowl. He was pleased to see that Sesshomaru's little brat wasn't around. The last thing he needed was something else to remind him of that crazy youkai jerk. "Kaede-babaa, how do I look to you?" Inuyasha demanded the moment he got close enough. Not a thought about asking if she was well.

Looking up, the miko shrank back with a soft gasp. "Ye has some horrible gashes on ye face," Kaede said reaching out to touch them, but Inuyasha jerked away. "Have ye been fighting? Is that what ye mean, Inuyasha?"

"Do I look different? Do I look like I've changed?"

Kaede moved her one good eye, repeatedly scanning his face in search of some hidden mystery. "Is this a game, Inuyasha? I do not know what ye mean, but ye look the same to me," she said in her steady, analytical tone,

"Well what do you know about that time Sesshomaru saved me?"

"That was nearly two weeks ago, why are ye asking about that now?" She studied him curiously, almost piteously; as if believing fever had somehow seized his head and he wasn't quite sure what he was talking about.

"Just tell me what you know?" he demanded discourteously.

"I don't know much of anything, I wasn't in the room," Kaede said succinctly, ignoring his curtness as she grabbed up a hand full of new peas from one bowl, snipping off the edges, then snapping it in half and tossing it into another.

"Did you know he didn't use his Tenseiga?"

"I assumed as much," Kaede replied without stopping her actions.

"And why is that?"

"Why he didn't use it, ye mean?" she asked looking at him once more. "I do not rightly know, but it looked like it wouldn't work," the miko said, thinking back to the events of almost two weeks prior.

"Wouldn't work?" Inuyasha repeated, that was the first he'd heard of that.

"If I remember correctly, I seem to recall him reaching for it, but he stopped. If it didn't work, he seemed as surprised about that as anyone. And, yes," she looked up moving her single good eye back and forth as if searching for some elusive memory, "I believe I heard him tell Jaken and Rin that, but I was partially asleep, so I can't be sure."

"Tenseiga didn't work?" Inuyasha repeated once more, stunned. Why hadn't the old hag told him that before? But would it have mattered, would it have changed anything? Probably not.

"From what I could see, no," Kaede said as she continued sorting her peas. "But what I do know, is that Sesshomaru spent three full nights and a day sweating that poison out of ye body."

"Three nights and a day?" Why hadn't she mentioned that either. Actually, he knew why she probably hadn't. After he'd heard that Sesshomaru had saved him and he'd realized he'd used his damned fangs all over his body, he'd been too embarrassed and far too humiliated to discuss it further; so he had in essence, shut down all conversation related to that incident. "I've never been completely out of it for that long."

"As far as I know, ye've never been attacked in ye human form before either," Kaede said rather matter-of-factly. "Whatever Sesshomaru did, I think he was the only one who could have done it," she stopped and looked up at him. "He had the heat in this place up to high heaven in the middle of the summer," she said it as if she was still annoyed about that. "Only youkai could have put up with that."

The old miko filled him in on what little details she knew of the few days of his life that he had been under Sesshomaru's care as the youkai lord did whatever he could to prevent the hanyou's inevitable descent into death; from cleaning him and his bedding; to ensuring he had sufficient clean water; to actually remaining by his side while he cared for him. She'd had no idea why Sesshomaru had done it, and regrettably neither did Inuyasha.

Inuyasha's face grew withdrawn and pensive as he re-considered the events of the past couple of weeks, especially what Sesshomaru had to do to save his life. Tenseiga wouldn't work and Sesshomaru had done whatever he had to do to save him; including using his freaking fangs, he thought silently.

"What is wrong Inuyasha? Ye seem displeased about something."

_I thought of you as my little brother who was injured and I believed I could help._

Displeased? If anyone had any rights to be displeased, it was Sesshomaru. He'd saved the life of a lowly hanyou only to be repaid by having his face clawed open; now that was gratitude for you. Inuyasha turned his golden eyes to the blood sticking to his fingers and claws; blackened beneath the dim light. He'd completely torn open Sesshomaru's face with his claws. Had he deserved it? With his temper subsiding, Inuyasha honestly couldn't say just who deserved what because he didn't really know what had happened back there. What had he mistaken? Why the hell had he gotten so angry anyway? Was it because all he did while he was with that youkai lord was think about every bad thing Sesshomaru had ever done to him, like some broken hearted little girl? Would he ever be able to forgive Sesshomaru for the past?

"Yeah, I guess."

Incapable of erasing his brother's disfigured face from his mind, Inuyasha left Kaede's hut, feeling drained, sore and literally quite tired. In essence, he felt like crap; like the events of the day had literally sucked every bit of life out of him. He needed to clean himself up; to get Sesshomaru's blood off his freaking fingers before the scent drove him completely insane.

Stopping at the lake for a few minutes, he scrubbed his hands, and then made his way slowly back to his tree. His thoughts, suddenly, uncontrollably flashed back to the time he'd clawed those bandits to death. But he'd been out of his mind then; what excuse did he have this time?

_You filthy hanyou. _

Inuyasha squeezed his eyes shut.

_I thought of you as my little brother who was injured and I believed I could help._

_He had the heat up to high heaven. Only youkai could have put up with that. _

As much as he might hate it, Inuyasha knew he had to admit it; he'd probably messed up big time. Was this some kind of delayed effect from Naraku's miasma or something? Was he just going insane or something? He'd been out of it for four days, which meant it was definitely like everyone had said, he was dying and there was nothing anyone could do to save him. Nothing anyone could do, except for Sesshomaru that is.

Not knowing what to do with himself, Inuyasha took a deep breath as he climbed to and pulled his legs securely onto his tree branch. He couldn't help but think what a pathetic creature he truly was.

* * *

**A/N: So, Inuyasha allowed all his memories of the bad times he's had in dealing with Sesshomaru to influence his actions? Oh well, I think they've tried, but is it possible there's just too much bad history between them. I hope that they can at least try to talk to air out their differences at some point. Thinking about the difficult times will never help anyone. Hopefully a heart to heart is coming soon.**

**Yes, I know; as much as I love Sesshomaru, he was pretty mean to his younger brother, and I'm sure that little glimpse through Inu's thoughts didn't even cover half of it-I guess you could say Sessh was a real 'dog'. (lol) But Sesshomaru was probably pretty mean to everyone. His meanest was unimportant to him. If you could not help him; you were just that; unimportant. Could his heart really be opening up? Is that why he didn't kill the hanyou? Or was it for his own pride?**

**At any rate – the next chapter brings in the first of several new original characters that will change their lives. Let's see where that goes.**

bujutsu - (art, or craft of war)  
bugei - (martial art)  
chichi-ue - (father)

haori - (shirt/top)  
haramaki - (armor)  
hijin-ketsusou - (Blades of Blood)  
kazana - (wind tunnel)  
kekkei - (magic spell- a technique limited to inheritance by blood or "Bloodline Limit")

Kenjutsu - (the art of the sword)  
Koryū - (ancient Japanese martial arts)  
mokomoko - (Sessy's fluff)  
obi - (sash)  
oyaji - (old man)  
saimyoushou - (demon bees from hell)  
Sankon tetsusou - (soul scattering iron claw/iron reaver soul stealer)  
tsuka - (hilt)


	10. Chapter 10 I, Sesshomaru, Protect No One

**A/N: Okay, so the first of my OC's has finally been introduced. This character is going to stir both of them to react in a manner that neither of them expected. I certainly hope it leads to some good things for them. **

**Sesshomaru & Inuyasha: Kyoudai in Kōtetsu  
Sesshomaru & Inuyasha: Brothers in Arms**

Sho 10 - Watashi, Sesshomaru, Kabaitate Darehitoritoshite  
Chapter 10-I, Sesshomaru, Protect No One 

Slinging the axe across his shoulder with an almighty thrust, Inuyasha knew the job would be a lot easier if he simply used his Tetsusaiga to smash the tree to smithereens, but Toutousai had just sharpened it last week, and said he wasn't going to do it again if he insisted upon using it as some kind of hack saw instead of as a sword. But the problem was, he'd had no cause to use it as anything but a hack saw since Naraku's death. Sesshomaru wouldn't even fight with him anymore and other than a few low level youkai that he could probably handle with his claws as long as he was in his hanyou form, there wasn't much else to fight. Besides, he didn't exactly have pin point control when it came to swinging his Tetsusaiga any way, which would probably result in half the forest being torn apart. That though probably wouldn't be a bad thing now that he thought about it, since then, all the villagers would have more than enough wood to survive not only this winter, but the next one as well.

"Inuyasha-san, this is edible, isn't it?" Rin asked holding up a wavy edged mushroom she had picked from the base of one of the nearby trees.

The two had ventured deep into the forest to retrieve a supply of wood to replenish the nearly empty wood pit in Kaede-babaa's hut. Inuyasha knew her supply had been depleted because of whatever the hell Sesshomaru had done to save his life, but he didn't want to think about that, or that crazy youkai anymore. Rin had accompanied him on the trip because she said she wanted to get away from the village. He hadn't really wanted to bring her along, because lately, she always seemed to want to tag along with him; but he assumed it was probably only because he was her precious Lord Sesshomaru's younger brother and since it was likely his fault that youkai hadn't shown himself lately, he figured it was the least he could do.

Wiping his forehead with the back of his arm; his thoughts immediately flew to his mother as he took the mushroom from her hand and turned it over. Inuyasha could clearly see the telltale network of gill-like ridges running down the stem. He remembered that this was his mother's favorite mushroom. He was always amazed at how clear his memories of her were despite the fact that she'd been dead for over 170 years now. But when he thought back on it, he knew he had spent a lot of time thinking about her and how their lives had been before her death, as he'd hid in the hollows of those caves, wishing she was still there; especially when those youkai would find him. He remembered Sesshomaru asking him why he hadn't killed those youkai Naraku had left behind, but how could he possibly tell him why he really hated caves.

"When you see these blunt cross veins," Inuyasha said pointing out the mushroom's numerous blunt-edged forks and cross veins. "You'll know what you have is a Chanterelle. The Jack O'Lanterns which look a little like these, usually grow in the fall and glows in the dark; but those will make you pretty sick. This one is edible," he added studying it somberly, "but it's also pretty touch. It needs to be cooked a long time."

"Oh," Rin said with apparent disappointment. Obviously enticed by the fruity apricot fragrance, she looked like she wanted to pop one into her mouth this very minute and would probably just sit down and die because she couldn't.

Despite not wanting to think about Sesshomaru, Inuyasha's thoughts couldn't help but drift to him when he took in Rin's disappointed features. Something about her just made you want to protect her and erase whatever pain she felt and Inuyasha couldn't help but wonder if she did the same to that youkai lord. But he immediately dismissed the thought. He had no idea why Sesshomaru had taken care of Rin, but nothing would ever convince him that he gave a shit what she felt like.

"Maybe you can bring some back and Kaede-babaa can cook it," he offered as his only immediate solution. Kid certainly couldn't eat that mushroom now. In addition to being tough, it probably had a bunch of nasty bugs on it and needed to be washed. It probably wouldn't bother him, but he was certain it wouldn't be good for a human kid to take in a belly full of nasty little critters.

"You think so?" Rin asked with new hope in her eyes at the thought that Kaede-san might cook some mushrooms tonight.

"Yeah, just gather up a bunch and wrap them in my haori over there," he said pointing to the fire-rat haori he had removed and placed beside a nearby tree next to his Tetsusaiga before he'd started chopping wood. "Maybe later, we can also look for some potatoes or some other kind of vegetables."

"Ooh, that's wonderful, Inuyasha-san," Rin said excitedly, then quickly scooted over to retrieve the haori, with the obvious intention of filling it with as many mushrooms as she could uproot, as if afraid the mushrooms would somehow get up and run away. Watching her for a moment or two, Inuyasha couldn't help but wonder what task Kaede-babaa was going to make him do when that kid walked in with a bunch of mushrooms that needed to be cooked, especially since it was his idea. But he was grateful at least that her hut didn't require any repairs since all the male villagers had recently rebuilt it after it was destroyed by Magatsuhi.

"Inuyasha-san," Rin stopped after a few minutes of working to retrieve her mushrooms and turned toward him. "Are you going to see Lord Sesshomaru?"

Now where the hell did that come from, Inuyasha wondered. "I told you before, just Inuyasha," he nearly snarled, not certain if it was because this was the third time he'd told her the same thing, or because she'd just mentioned Sesshomaru's name; the one person he was trying _not_ to think about. "Remember, you slept on my chest. You're not supposed to do something like that unless we're really close friends," he said, hoping to drive home the point finally. "And close friends don't have to use honorifics when they talk to each other. Okay?"

"Ahh, yes," Rin said softly with a touch of disappointment in her voice. "Sorry, Inuyasha-sa... Inuyasha," she corrected herself as she studied him with wide, brown-eyed regret. "Are you going?" she asked again as she tilted her head in query.

"I don't know," Inuyasha lied. He knew perfectly well he had absolutely no intentions of going back to see his brother. In fact, he was actually waiting for the day that youkai lord decided it was time he came to take his life. He just couldn't figure out why he hadn't done it yet. "Why?"

"'Cause I want to go with you," Rin said, finally disclosing the purpose of her question.

"Why do you want to do that?" Inuyasha asked, stopping to study her; genuinely puzzled as he rested on the edge of the axe he had borrowed from Kaede-babaa. He really had no idea why a kid like her would want to be bothered with such a stuck up youkai. As sweet as she might be, he also had no idea why Sesshomaru would want her around either. He'd never struck him as the kind of person to be affected by any kind of sweetness. Knowing Sesshomaru, he would just look at it as some form of weakness or something. But Inuyasha guessed things were just different when it involved him; which just showed how stuck up Sesshomaru truly was. Anything he did was perfect; anything anyone else did, well that was a different story. But still, they seemed like such a mismatched pair.

"'Cause I'm worried," Rin said, her face taking on a disheartened look; far more disappointed than she'd looked, even when he'd given her the news that she couldn't eat the mushrooms just yet. "Lord Sesshomaru hasn't been back since he made you better, and I want to make sure he didn't get sick."

"He's not sick," Inuyasha nearly growled. He felt fairly confident that except for the time when he'd almost killed him, that youkai had never been sick a day in his life. And he wouldn't exactly say he was sick then either; just pretty much dying; but his stupid aim had missed the mark. But, he was glad it had then; now, he almost wished it hadn't. If it hadn't he wouldn't be sweating it out right now.

"Are you sure?" Rin asked, doubtfully; incapable of understanding how her lord could be well but had not come to see her. It had been nearly a month since the last time she saw him. "So much water was pouring off him when he took care of you; I just want to make sure he didn't get a fever."

"Youkai don't get fevers," Inuyasha nearly barked. He couldn't figure out why he was so angry. It wasn't so much that he didn't like her, as much as it was probably because she insisted upon talking about that damned Sesshomaru. And he really didn't want to be bothered with such a thought; not to mention that every time he did think about him, he couldn't get past his own personal guilt.

"They don't?" Rin asked with surprise. "But you had one Inuyasha-san. Lord Sesshomaru said so."

"Just Inuyasha," he reminded her for the fourth time. "And no, they don't. Not unless they're half dead," he responded snippily; knowing there was no way that youkai would be half dead from anything; no matter how much he might have wanted it. "And I'm not a youkai. I'm just a hanyou," he said knowing he wouldn't have had a fever then either if he hadn't been attacked in his human form. "And what water?"

"All the water that was pouring off his head," Rin said drawing her hands down the length of her head to simulate the flow of water she had seen pouring off her lord. "The room was so hot, that water poured off me too, when I went inside," she said, turning to pull more mushrooms from the base of the tree and piling them onto the red, fire-rat material. "My stomach felt kind of sick after a couple of minutes; but Lord Sesshomaru stayed inside with you all the time and fed you water through your mouth even though water was pouring off your head too."

Inuyasha stopped what he was doing and studied her intently now. What was she talking about; then, he realized. "You mean sweat?"

"No," Rin stopped and looked up at him. "Kaede-san said it was purse... purse.."

"Perspiration. Sweat. Same thing," Inuyasha informed her, then went back to chopping more wood. "But if it was that much water, it was probably closer to sweat than anything."

"Well, I just know it was a lot of water all over this head and face." Rin said, moving her hands in large circular motions around her own head once again, as if he had somehow missed her previous demonstration. "His hair was all wet and he didn't look like Lord Sesshomaru," she added as she placed a finger in front of her mouth as if trying to quiet her own thoughts. But in addition to the wet hair, she remembered her lord did not have his armor or his mokomoko; and that was the first time she'd ever seen him without them. "And I know he looked sick, but he wouldn't leave you to die."

Inuyasha stopped once more and studied her. Was she trying to make him feel even more guilty or something? Well he certainly didn't need her help with that. Even though it had been a little over two weeks, he still hadn't gotten the look of his claw marks on Sesshomaru's face out of his head. "How hot was it in the room?"

"I don't know," Rin shrugged. "But it must have been pretty hot. Kaede-san said 'that youkai got the heat up to high-heaven. I hope he don't burn down the hut'."

Inuyasha almost wanted to laugh as he watched her puff out her cheeks and scrunch up her face to look as close to Kaede-babaa as she could. "And Sesshomaru stayed there with me?"

"Yes, he said he wouldn't let you die." Then she held up the mushroom stuffed haori. It contained nearly three dozen pieces. "Do you think this is enough?" she asked, wondering if she'd gotten enough for the three of them.

"Yeah, that should be more than enough," Inuyasha replied as he considered her last statement. "Sesshomaru said he wouldn't let me die?" he asked, needing to know more.

"Yes, that's because you're his little brother," Rin said smiling and clutching the haori to her chest as she rose to her feet. "And he didn't want his brother to die."

Now, that was really funny. The girl obviously knew nothing about that youkai she had traveled with, Inuyasha thought as he refocused his attention to the pile of logs at his feet. He probably had enough of that as well, and besides, he didn't want to make two trips. It wasn't like the forest was running out of trees; he could always come back in a couple of days or so. Besides, Kaede-babaa really only needed it for cooking now. It would be quite some time before she'd need enough for warmth as well. It was still the middle of the summer. "You mean until he killed me, that is," he grumbled.

Rin turned a puzzled gaze toward him. "He didn't say that. Is Lord Sesshomaru going to kill you Inuyasha-sa... Inuyasha? Why?" she asked with a horrified gasp.

Hearing the panic in her voice, Inuyasha stared at her. Clearly, she had no idea how much Sesshomaru hated him. Should he tell her and save her the trouble of angering Sesshomaru by asking herself? Maybe telling her would open her eyes to the true character of that youkai she loved so much. "No, I was just joking," Inuyasha responded, deciding what was the point.

Puzzled, Rin twisted her head as she studied him curiously; obviously she didn't see the humor in what he'd said.

"So can you take me to see him?" she asked after a moment or two, apparently deciding to let that subject drop. "I also want to see Ah-Un and Master Jaken and I want to make sure Lord Sesshomaru doesn't forget about Rin. I want to let him know how much I've learned. He said he couldn't take me back until I learned a few things."

"He never told you what he wanted you to learn?" Inuyasha asked, again directing his attention and efforts to chopping a few additional pieces of wood. He knew his brother wanted her to receive some kind of survival training, but apparently, he hadn't told her that. Now, he hadn't even bothered to come to see her, and Inuyasha knew that was probably his fault; because he probably didn't want to come and kill him in front of his little brat. But he probably shouldn't say that. Rin wasn't nearly as much of a pain in the rear as some of the other little idiots in the village. Sure, she had that habit of wanting to tag along with him, but she was a lot more courteous than those other little buggers when she did; in addition to giving him his space when he needed it. She had a grip like a freaking bear, but she would never just run up and pull on his ears the way those little monsters tried to do.

But to miss Sesshomaru, shit; kid had to some kind of freaking desperate or just plain stupid. But maybe it was just that she was just so damned lonely with no family. But Inuyasha had to admit, he understood perfectly well what it was like feeling that kind of loneliness. But was he so damned lonely now that he'd want to go back and make peace with Sesshomaru? Absolutely not. But Inuyasha paused as he reflected on the fact that it was his fault they weren't talking this time, wasn't it? Sesshomaru was actually trying to be civil to him for once in his life, wasn't he?

He'd spent the last couple of weeks waiting for Sesshomaru to come and kill him. No, he probably shouldn't say he was just waiting for him, because he'd be damned if he'd just sit there and let that crazy youkai kill him without putting up some kind of resistance; but he wasn't stupid.

_If I truly wanted you dead, you would be!_

He knew Sesshomaru was probably one of, if not the most powerful youkai alive. But he'd certainly try to put up one hell of a fight that youkai would never forget. If he did show up, he'd simply have to depend on his Tetsusaiga to hit the mark this time.

But as he thought about it, what was surprising to him, is why had Sesshomaru simply walked away when he had called him out that time? Why hadn't he already come to kill him? But hell, none of this mattered, it was just like it was before, he could think and think, and no answers would ever come.

Then, Inuyasha thought about something else. Sesshomaru had asked him to check with Sango, but maybe if he'd just start training the kid himself, he could go back to that youkai lord and tell him he'd trained his little princess, maybe then he'd forgive him for ripping his face open. Shit, that was probably the craziest thing he'd ever thought of in his entire life. If anyone had done the same thing to him, he most certainly would never forgive them; no matter what the heck they did for him. Why would he think, for even one second that jerk brother of his would ever forgive a hanyou he'd already made clear, he hated.

Inuyasha stopped chopping wood all together as he got lost in thought. He realized that even in all his criticism of Sesshomaru, he never once really thought about what it actually meant for him to have saved him. The only thing he'd thought about was what Sesshomaru had done to him, using his freaking fangs and shit. He'd thought a lot about how _he_ felt just thinking about that arrogant youkai putting his mouth all over his body. But he'd never really thought about how that proud youkai lord must have felt to have done something like that; to believe he had no other way of getting that poison out of him, other than sucking and sweating the shit out. That's probably because he'd never believed Sesshomaru had a heart. You had to have a heart to feel anything. But what did it matter? There was only one person who knew why Sesshomaru had saved him; and that was Sesshomaru himself. Probably wished he hadn't done it now.

_You filthy hanyou, I should have let you die._

Inuyasha closed his eyes. He felt sick just thinking about those words. But what else could he have expected him to say after what he'd done. But it still hurt; it hurt deeply. If only he knew why. He just wished he knew why.

As much as he might try to deny it, Inuyasha knew he'd reacted the way he had because he resented the fact that youkai lord had done anything for him at all. No, he had to stop fooling himself. It made little difference if Sesshomaru was courteous to him now or not; it all went back to the time when he was a brat. He'd thought a lot about it during those couple of days he'd spent in his brother's camp; he had never admitted it before, but practically every waking moment of his life for over 100 years, he had thought about how much Sesshomaru hated him; but he knew his hatred of Sesshomaru went back to one thing - he hated Sesshomaru for leaving him behind.

"Inuyasha?"

"Huh?" He responded, shaking himself from his misery.

"Are you going ...?"

Was it always going to be like Sesshomaru had said; they were just destined to fight forever? No, he didn't believe that. Sesshomaru was trying before, wasn't he; but was he doing the same; or was he simply clinging to old times?

"Tell you what. Maybe I'll go see Sesshomaru in a day or two," he said, not really sure why. "I'll let him know you want to see him. If he's still making camp nearby, then I'll take you down to see him, okay."

"You will?"

"Yeah, I will," Inuyasha smiled as he leaned forward and rubbed her head. "We're friends. And friends don't lie to each other, do they?" He knew Sesshomaru hated him. He didn't know why, but he knew he did. But he also new if there was any way to fix this; he was going to try.

"Thank you, Inuyasha-sa.. Inuyasha," Rin squealed as she wrapped her arms tightly around his leg. Inuyasha couldn't help thinking this kid was definitely meant to be a youkai killer. If he didn't watch out, she was likely to kill him with that grip of hers one of these days.

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The mid-afternoon sun blazed bright and warm above the youkai lord's head, as a light breeze wafted gently around him. The summer days were always the same, warm, with a light breeze and every so often a little rain. Sesshomaru strolled slowly as he patrolled the banks near the outer edges of the western lands, not far from where he made his camp. He would not go back on official patrol for a couple of weeks, but for now, he would at least patrol the local areas for any possible threats.

Continuing slowly, but steadily down the open path, Sesshomaru's anger was in perfect check despite the fact that it still boiled deep inside of him. He had rarely had a problem controlling his emotions, but what he struggled with now were his thoughts. It had been nearly three weeks since that hanyou had scarred his face, but he could scarcely believe that even now, he had allowed his mind to be absorbed by him. It was unbelievable that he had allowed him to inflict damage upon his body yet again, and had not taken his life. Why had he not? He would have allowed no one else to live, had they done the same. Why had he allowed that foolish hanyou such freedom? When he had taken his left arm, he had held no grudge. His left arm had been taken in battle. With the use of their chichi-ue's sword, the hanyou had simply gotten the better of him that day. But his recent acts, he had no explanation for.

_Whether you like it or not, I'm not you Sesshomaru, and I never will be!_

But what bothered the youkai lord most was that he, Sesshomaru, had no explanation for why he had allowed him to continue to live. Was it because he had made that promise to his chichi-ue? No, that could not be it. He had kept his promise. He said he would try, and he had. It was the hanyou who had not valued his efforts and attacked. So, why had he permitted him a freedom he did not deserve? Why had he simply not pursued him and taken his life as of yet?

"Lord Sesshomaru, when are we going back on patrol?" Jaken asked with renewed hope for future prospects now that that silly girl would no longer accompany them.

Sesshomaru's thoughts remained diverted to the hanyou. Inuyasha was nothing to him; nothing. He was nothing more than a foul-mouthed hanyou that dared push this daiyoukai to the edges of reason, and yet he had allowed him to live. Why? But in truth, Sesshomaru knew why he had not killed him. And the youkai lord knew it was because he had defiled himself to save the filthy hanyou's life. Because he had spent four days of his own life, serving as that hanyou's nursemaid; because at some point during those four days, he had decided he did not want him to die. Because he had also thought his live valuable enough to save; and gave him his own blood to ensure his recovery. To take his life now after he had dishonored himself so; was an insanity he could not accept.

Sesshomaru knew his desire to kill the hanyou emanated from the fact that he had considered him nothing but a constant reminder of his chichi-ue's weakness; and it had angered him that his chichi-ue had shown himself to be so. He had always considered his chichi-ue a powerful and revered ruler; and it had been his intent to exceed him in power, but it had not occurred as he had planned. Ever since he had found out the hanyou had not died after being sealed for so long, and knowing his chichi-ue had bequeathed his sword to him, he had been merciless in his hatred of his very existence.

He had often considered his chichi-ue's death dishonorable; to die at the hand of a filthy human insect, protecting a human woman. But, would his own life not be discredited if he took the life of the hanyou he had literally dishonored himself to save? He would not allow that. He may well kill him one day, but for now, that hanyou best enjoy what miserable life he had left.

"Lord Sesshomaru. Wait for me, melord. I'm commiinng," Jaken sang out again, his little legs making every effort to keep pace, though he was falling behind quickly.

Sesshomaru also knew the main reason he had probably not taken his life, is because over these past weeks, he had found himself wrestling with thoughts of the hanyou's life. He had found himself thinking of what his life had been like to grow up alone, frightened, and even human, to all appearances at times. He, himself, had been alone for some time, at least until he had met Jaken and even Rin after his chichi-ue's death, but that was his choice. The hanyou had been alone because his okaa-san had died while he was still young, but that was merely a trait of human frailty; but then, his only living kin had also simply discarded him. Sesshomaru knew he had never treated him with kindness. Before he had not cared, but now..., now he was uncertain. He had never been uncertain before. Is that what the changes in his heart were doing to him? Creating such levels of uncertainty?

Lately, he was fully aware that there was a great deal of uncertainty that flowed through him. He no longer always saw things from his own perspective. He was beginning to see things from the perspective of others. Did his reluctance to take the hanyou's life have something to do with the fact that his heart was truly changing? Was he indeed beginning to show that same weakness his chichi-ue had displayed? Was his constant thoughts of the hanyou's life a result of that change? If so, why would his heart change now? But, the more critical thing, was did he want his heart to change? He had never thought about it. Whatever changes his heart might be undergoing, it had begun to occur without his realization. Could he stop it? Should he? Again, that was just a sign of more uncertainty for him to deal with and he could not accept such levels of uncertainty within himself.

Reluctant though he might be; Sesshomaru knew his life was no longer as simple as it used to be. There were many things he found himself considering that he had never deemed important enough to consider before. Long before the hanyou had been sealed, he had thought of him as nothing more than a mistake and had looked down his nose at him. He had called him little brother on many occasions, but never truly regarded him as such.

Now, though, he remembered when the hanyou, himself, could have taken _his_ life had he so desired, but he had not. During that battle inside Naraku's body, he had displayed some degree of control despite the fact that he had been overtaken by his youkai blood and was being manipulated by Magatsuhi. He had deliberately missed when Magatsuhi had forced him to initiate his meidou zangetshuha attack and aimed it directly at him. Clearly, he had not been as completely senseless as he had previously thought. The hanyou had even fought himself, in an attempt to free himself of Magatsuhi's control. That was not a control achievable by just any hanyou. The blood that flowed through him was truly his chichi-ue's. So for now, he would allow him to live.

"L-o-o-oord Shessho-o-o-omaruuu!" Jaken sang out in a boisterous tone; an obvious attempt to gain his master's attention. He could not decide what was worse; to simply be ignored by his lord, or to be ignored while his lord paid more heed to a foolish human girl.

Having decided not to seek the hanyou out and take his life today, Sesshomaru knew it was probably best if the hanyou heeded his words. There was no guarantee that if he ever layed sight on him, even in general passing, that he would not kill him then. His heart may well have changed, but he could not say he believed it had changed so much that he would not kill him if he ever sighted him again; which was one of the primary reasons he had not visited Rin lately.

Scenting a violent change in the wind, Sesshomaru came to a stop, then turned to face an approaching dust cloud. A distant swarm of youkai was headed in his direction. Their scent reeked overly of demon wolf dogs accompanied by a myriad of male youkai breeds and a lone female. He had never known such varied youkai to travel together. Who were they? Were they coming to him? For what purpose?

A swirl of blinding wind and dust approached quickly from the south; ripping apart the earth and kicking up the soil as it moved; coating the sky with a thick, dark misty brown cloud. Not exactly the stealthiest of approaches.

"Lord Sesshomaru," a female youkai gushed smoothly as she approached him. "I was not told you were so beautiful," she said coming to an abrupt stop; a torrent of wind and dust settling at her feet. Though he had scented and expected to see several higher level youkai; this youkai was accompanied only by demon wolves. Two sets of about a dozen wolf demon dogs flanked each of her sides. This lone female youkai was indeed not at all what he had expected.

"Lord Sesshomaru, who is that? Do you know that youkai?" Jaken asked, running up to stand close to Sesshomaru's heels as he stopped and turned to look at the new arrivals.

"Who are you?" Sesshomaru demanded, standing erect and tall as usual. Though he had scented enough to know she was not a youkai to be trusted, he had not even bothered to take up an attack stance or to draw his weapon. "Should I know you?"

"I am Princess Edera, Mistress of the southern lands."

Sesshomaru studied her intently; his golden eyes narrowing at the presence before him. He did not know her; but he believed he knew of her. He had heard tales from the southern lands over the years; tales of the mistress whom everyone feared. He considered now, that whoever it was that had told her about him; either did not know him themselves, or preferred to place her at a disadvantage. If she knew he was an inu youkai, she would know he would have no trouble scenting the myriad of souls circling through her body and would thus know what she was. But she was a fool at any rate to venture out of her lands and into his, without knowing more than she did.

Her coloring which was similar to his own looked even paler as Princess Edera stood before him dressed in a long black shroud that completely covered her body even down to the glove like appendages that coated itself around her long, extruded claws. She had four horns on her head; three protruding upward in a single line, progressing in height as they tapered back on the right side of her head and a single horn that curled repeatedly and lay flat against that same side of her head. The left side of her face was marked with spider web-like heritage markers. She carried no weapons. Except for what power she may contain in her own body; clearly, the wolf demon dogs at her sides were her only line of defense. The youkai lord could scent a myriad of youkai souls floating around her; seeming to emanate from within her very body. He knew she was a youkai sorceress; and there was only one type of sorceress that would scent as she did-a succuvex. He had heard of one residing in one of the lands; was this her? If she had come to attack, she would soon learn that both her and her demon dogs had confronted the wrong youkai lord.

"Why are you here," Sesshomaru demanded with little patience. He would know if this was the sorceress of whom he had heard; but from what he scented, he had no doubts. He would also know what her business with him was. It was not that he cared, he was simply curious; because he knew for certain, she would die if she dared overstep her bounds. His curiosity was his one failing that he always found intriguing.

A flash of bright red light flickered from a jewel on her right ear, an indication that she had sparked her youkai. "First, I shall test your strength," she said, unabashedly clapping her hands several times, then pointing her right hand straight in front of her sending the pack of wolf demon dogs on her right into feral attack mode.

_"Test his strength?"_ Sesshomaru narrowed his gaze in irritation, growling slightly as he watched the demon wolf dogs rush forward. "Jaken, step back,'' he warned the little youkai at his heels, raising his clawed fingers, preparing for counter attack as he volatized his energy whip.

Emitting some sort of grunting response, Jaken quickly scooted backward as commanded, away from the pack of dogs rushing toward his master and watched as Sesshomaru raised and flipped his hand through the air, releasing the powerful energy from his finger tips.

The youkai lord's energy whip danced and leapt back and forth, up and down, obeying its master's commands, pulverizing the attacking dogs in less than a minute.

"You are incredible, Lord Sesshomaru," Jaken exclaimed in awed admiration of his master's quick demise of the threat.

"What is the purpose of this attack?" Sesshomaru demanded, his crimson-lidded eyes refusing to blink as he readied himself for additional strikes. If she dared send any of her remaining demon dogs into attack, he would simply kill her where she stood. But with the scent of the number of youkai flowing within her, if she was indeed a succuvex, which he was certain she was, she had far more fire power within her own body, so why had she sent those wolf demon dogs into attack at all? Was her power not what he assumed it to be, or could it possibly be that she truly did not know _his_ power? If not, why was she here?

"Impressive, but you did not use your swords," was the only response offered by Princess Edera; her eyes widening with obvious delight; as if some ultimate issue had been confirmed.

"I can use them on you, if you desire," Sesshomaru glared through narrowed slits for eyes, reaching across himself and placing his right hand on Bakusaiga's tsuka. In the past, he would have squelched such a ridiculous threat at the very source without a second thought. He still might, but for now, he wanted to know her purpose.

"Not necessary, I'm quite sure you're an excellent swordsman," Princess Edera's lips dripped with what to Sesshomaru was an obvious false smile that betrayed no true emotion.

It angered him that this youkai would dare approach him with such obvious presumptuousness. He fought the urge to simply fly at her and rip out her throat this very second. It mattered not that she was female; human females may well be weaker than the males, but female youkai could be even more powerful; besides, he knew this was no ordinary youkai female. He could not help but wonder if his desire to be patient with the hanyou had caused him to go soft. But he immediately discounted that thought. He would never allow himself to be weak. But he could not prevent himself from wondering why he was, at this very minute, considering the same question the hanyou had evoked in him. Why had he not already taken her life?

"I am here because I have a proposition for you."

"Proposition?" Sesshomaru impatiently narrowed his gaze, studying her intently as his thoughts immediately recalled Kagura, the only other female youkai who had dared come to him with thoughts of a proposition. But this youkai was a long way away from her. What proposition could she possibly make that would be of any interest to this daiyoukai?

"Yes, I have heard you are the most powerful youkai in the western lands," she said as she began to move forward. "As the lord of this territory, I have come to request your assistance."

"Stay your ground," Sesshomaru ordered with a commanding lift of his hand. He knew this was not a youkai he should allow to advance; and he would undoubtedly kill her where she stood, if need be.

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Just thinking about the last time he'd seen his brother and the horrible gashes he'd left on his face, made him feel worse than he had when he'd cut off his arm. But that was probably because it was him who had provoked the situation this time, not Sesshomaru. For whatever reason, though, Inuyasha found the courage to go back. He had fretted over this for far too long. Sesshomaru had not come to kill him, and Inuyasha had no idea why he hadn't. But one thing he did know was that he couldn't continue sitting around waiting, perhaps even risking being killed while he slept.

The sun beat down on the top of Inuyasha's head. A marked difference in the temperature now than when he'd left the village earlier. He'd started out for Sesshomaru's camp earlier that morning, approximately three hours ago, and all he could think of during the entire time he made his way to his brother's camp was, would Sesshomaru kill him the moment he arrived? He hadn't exactly leaped and bounded his way there-no, he pretty much crawled; and that's exactly what he was doing now, crawling back. He was in no hurry to be sliced up by his brother's Bakusaiga.

Would Sesshomaru think he'd come back to attack him again, and simply lay waste to the stupid hanyou who dared challenge him? Would he even manage to get close enough to his brother to even apologize? Apologize? Shit, that's a word he never thought he'd use with that daiyoukai. Apologize. Sesshomaru probably wouldn't even let him get close enough to do any such thing. He was probably a fool for even trying. He should simply let his arrogant stuck up brother have his own space by staying out of his way. To try to approach him after what he'd done, probably meant certain death for sure.

But he couldn't do it. He couldn't just let this go. After listening to Rin, he'd practically made himself sick over the past few days just thinking and fretting about what he'd done. Sesshomaru had saved his life and he'd paid him back by leaving claw marks all over his face.

Inuyasha took a deep breath and stopped. Immediately, he detected Sesshomaru's scent up ahead along with another youkai. Sesshomaru wasn't at his camp; he had moved. He was a lot closer now than he thought he would be. Was he ready to face him? But who was the youkai he was with? It kind of scented like Koga's wolf dogs, but he didn't scent that mangy wolf anywhere. If Sesshomaru was busy, maybe now wasn't the best time to approach. Then, he was hit by the fact that there seemed to be several other youkai's with Sesshomaru-and then there was blood-the scent of blood. Not Sesshomaru's blood; the scent of some of the other youkai's blood sailed through the air on the skirt of the wind. Was Sesshomaru being attacked? Inuyasha clutched his Tetsusaiga and began to rush forward. He had to find out.

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"State your proposition!" Sesshomaru demanded with little patience; evaluating her with skepticism. He was certain this proposition would be of little to no value to him.

"I understand you seek to expand your empire," Princess Edera began as she studied the youkai lord with inquisitive brown eyes.

"What concern is that of yours?"

"As I said, I am Mistress of the southern lands. My empire can be yours."

Sesshomaru eyed her suspiciously. "Under what conditions?"

"My mate Prince Jamiako, was recently killed by Prince Shushinki."

"Shushinki?" Sesshomaru asked, his gaze remaining steady and unblinking as he stared into a pair of questionable brown eyes. Eyes that gave him no clue to her true purpose; but he had no doubts that she had one.

"Yes, a powerful and evil youkai from the north," she moved closer toward him.

"I said stay your ground," Sesshomaru ordered again his voice stern and commanding while holding his own ground steady; his grip tightening around his Bakusaiga's tsuka; his eyes narrowing to a threatening glare. Behind him, he scented the approach of a familiar scent and his senses immediately shifted into higher alert. The hanyou had returned. Why? Was he so foolish that he did not think he would know he had arrived? Did he truly have the audacity to try to test this daiyoukai once more? Was he foolish enough to think we would have an advantage because his back was turned? Sesshomaru had no idea why that hanyou would venture back into his territory. But he would keep his guard up this time. The last time he had foolishly let it drop, and he'd had his face split open for his troubles. The hanyou had stopped a distance away, but if he dared approach any closer, putting his nose where it clearly did not belong; he would kill him for certain, then kill this youkai who dared waste his time.

"As you wish," Princess Edera said, immediately coming to a halt. "Prince Shushinki plans to force me to become his mate and seize control of the southern lands."

"Why should this concern me?"

"I propose that you become my mate, kill Shushinki, and combine our lands," Princess Edera said it, as if it was nothing more than simple logic. A simple logic that the youkai lord could not possibly resist. "Then you can rule with me over the southern lands."

His face expressionless, his gaze fixed and determined Sesshomaru's reply was quite frank. He was not some foolish youkai in search of power at any cost. "I do not know you, your former mate or this Shushinki and I have no interest in becoming your mate."

"Well, if I am not to your liking, Lord Sesshomaru," Princess Edera continued, splaying her arms out to the side, in a deliberate attempt to entice him into changing his mind. "I have many young youkai from whom you can choose. And, you can still rule the southern lands with me, if you kill Shushinki."

"Enough," Sesshomaru said, his voice lowering to a deep seeded growl. He had no interest in mating, and certainly not with this youkai female who scented entirely of the souls of dead male youkai. Youkai whom she had likely killed. Did she simply think she had walked upon a baka? "If you do not leave now, you will soon regret coming," seething internally, he grew impatient with this encounter. If that youkai believed she would have this daiyoukai's power under the pretense of requiring assistance, she was far more ignorant than she looked.

"Are you saying you're afraid to fight Shushinki," the youkai princess snipped, her anger showing across her features as her eyes glittered dangerously. Clearly she had incorrectly assumed this would be far easier than it was.

"I said, I do not know you, your former mate or Shushinki," the youkai lord snarled, emphasizing his words, but his tone remained steady, despite growing even more impatient with a youkai who dared venture into his lands with a preposterous proposition. "And I have no interest in assisting you."

"I suggest you reconsider, Lord Sesshomaru," Princess Edera was persistent, the tenor of her voice rising steadily, as she dared threaten him. "Or you may find yourself regretting your choice."

"You insolent youkai; who do you think you are? How dare you threaten Lord Sesshomaru?" Jaken demanded, quickly moving forward as he clenched a fist and threateningly waved his staff of two heads in an attempt to let her know exactly what he thought of her disrespect.

Annoyed, Sesshomaru rolled an equally irritated gaze down at the little youkai who would dare ignore his command to stay out of harm's way, forcing him to raise the timber in his voice. "Jaken, I said stay back," he ordered once again before continuing.

"Huh?" The little imp grunted something unintelligible as he looked questioningly up at his lord, then once more scooted backward.

"If I desired to rule the southern lands," Sesshomaru offered, narrowing his gaze. "I would simply kill you and this Shushinki. So, if you are truly interested in protecting your empire, I suggest you go do that now," his tone bristled as he pulled his Bakusaiga from its sheath.

This demon succuvex, which he was certain she was, had wasted enough of his time and he would tolerate this conversation no longer. "Or, if anyone regrets anything, you may _regret_ ever leaving your comfort. You have come to the wrong youkai lord," Sesshomaru now brandished his Bakusaiga. "You have three choices, mate with Shushinki and rule together, or get rid of him by killing him yourself. If you do not have the resolve to do so, your final choice is to vacate your land and move on."

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Unsheathing his Tetsusaiga, and keeping it at the ready to support his brother should he need it, Inuyasha stayed in the background, taking in the scene unfolding before him. Though he knew his pureblood youkai brother had probably already scented his arrival, he could see them, but he remained unseen. He could not hear their conversation, but that didn't matter. This was Sesshomaru's business. If he needed support, he would be there, but other than that, he would not interfere. Still he did try to ascertain exactly what was happening. From what he could see, a beautiful youkai surrounded by a pack of wolf demon dogs seemed to be asking for Sesshomaru's assistance. Inuyasha couldn't help but think she'd come to the wrong youkai for support.

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"How dare you insult me? You call yourself a youkai lord? You're nothing but a thoughtless coward," Princess Edera screamed; fierce anger bubbling up inside her, as hatred and irritation spewed forth through angered lips, yet hoping her brazen accusation would somehow incite the youkai lord into changing his mind.

Sesshomaru, though, simply stood there, staring at the overly emotional youkai with a deeply intense gaze, trying to ascertain her true objective. The reason she had come over 100 miles from the southern lands to his lands were clearly not as simple as she would have him believe. He was certain she had an ultimate objective, although he knew not what it could be.

"This is not over Lord Sesshomaru," Princess Edera insisted, bristling with angered aggression. "I am not a youkai to be trifled with. If you will not rule with me, you may not rule at all. Be brazen if you so desire, but you may well find that those you care for, will no longer care for you. Assisting me, may be the only choice you have," she hissed cryptically in obvious dissatisfaction. "You _will_ assist me, or suffer dire consequences and be left with nothing."

Sesshomaru raised his sword, allowing the electrical energy to build. "Enough," he barked. "Leave now, or you will no longer have to worry about this Shushinki or anyone else, because you _will die_ at my hand."

"I have never been denied, and I will not be now. My plans will be fulfilled," Princess Edera, clapped her hands, spun and departed with her demon wolf dog pack, a gigantic gust of wind rising up in their stead, swirling wildly behind them.

"The gall of that Princess Edera," Jaken piped up as he approached his lord. "Did she truly expect you to become her protector? To rule the southern lands. If that is your desire, you can do that anyway, there is no one more powerful than you Lord Sesshomaru," he said in his customary attempt to flatter his master.

"Are you a fool, Jaken?" Sesshomaru asked, watching as the cloud of dust disappeared into the horizon; ensuring that the princess had indeed departed. "That youkai is not interested in a protector."

"Me lord?" Jaken queried in puzzlement, as he frowned somberly. 'No matter how much I try to flatter him, he always treats me with such low regard,' Jaken muttered to himself.

Sesshomaru watched the gust of dust dissipate. Clearly, she had no idea whom she had approached; to come to him seeking assistance; she had to be either desperate or insane. He could imagine the kind of assistance she required.

_Those you care for, will no longer care for you._

What did she mean by that? Sesshomaru wondered, then tried to determine exactly how far Princess Edera would go to achieve her objective. He probably should have taken her life then and there, but she had posed no immediate threat; still, if he knew anything, he knew she would be back, and he knew a youkai such as her, would likely bring nothing but trouble.

So here's the first of several new characters. I see some very interesting things coming. Hope you enjoy.

Princess Edera's appearance is based loosely on the character from the role-playing game Final Fantasy VIII -Edea. Even though she looks like her, her acts and abilities are not based at all on this character, however. I just liked her looks and thought it was suitable.

Did Sesshomaru say succuvex? What is that? Did he really mean to say succubus? Would Sesshomaru possibly get his youkai's wrong?

Also, does that mean a heart to heart is finally coming? I hope so; or will Sesshomaru simply kill Inuyasha when he shows himself, he did say he might. I'm still trying to bring those brothers together after all. But would a talk help, or is there just too much bad history to ever overcome, or to push aside? Maybe they need to rely on each other so they'll see they're really two halves of a whole.

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**baka - (fool)  
chichi-ue - (father)  
tsuka - (hilt)  
youkai - (demon)**

**succuvex – (female demon that devours the souls and power of male youkai)**


	11. Chapter 11 The Truth

**A/N: Okay, last time, the first of several oc's showed up and challenged Sesshomaru, but he didn't kill her? Why not? Has he really grown soft, first he lets Inuyasha walk away, and now another youkai who had the nerve to challenge our dear lord? Well all I can say is that youkai will be back and Sesshomaru's speculation was correct, she will bring trouble with her. Maybe he'll kill her then? But what damage will she inflict before he does, and to whom? Will Sesshomaru even care?**

**Sho 11 - Za Jijitsu  
Chapter 11 - The Truth**

"Sesshomaru, she was beautiful, who was that?" Inuyasha asked re-sheathing his sword as he approached his brother.

"Inuyasha, how dare you show up here?" Jaken started the moment he set eyes upon him, raising his staff of two heads as his usual line of attack.

Dispensing an angered glare, Sesshomaru turned, as he focused on the hanyou. "You are an even bigger foul than I thought," he said, his eyes narrowing in contempt. "I told you not to show your face around me again, Inuyasha," the youkai lord growled, flashing toward him with such speed the hanyou didn't even have time to think, let alone move.

Sesshomaru wasted no time as he grabbed and squeezed the hanyou's throat, his claws digging bloody furrows into his skin as he lifted his body from the ground, dangling it in midair like just so much useless flesh sagging from the end of a meat hook. "You cannot possibly believe that because you provided unnecessary support or because I saved your miserable life that I will have pity on you." Cold golden eyes stared up at the hanyou hanging from the end of his claws, as Sesshomaru continued; "In fact, a pathetic hanyou such as you probably does not deserve to live."

Inuyasha had already known before he arrived that this wasn't going to be easy, so despite the feel of the steel-like fist that connected with his jaw once Sesshomaru had dropped his feet back to the ground, then knocked him to his back, his body sliding and careening through the mud crusted field; he knew he had to continue. "You're right; I don't deserve to live. So go on and kill me, Sesshomaru, tear me apart, shred me to pieces if you'd like," he choked out between coughs as he gasped for air; fighting the pain in his throat. His windpipe had nearly been crushed by Sesshomaru's steel-like grip.

Drawing and pushing the blade of his sword toward the hanyou's throat, the youkai lord simply stared at him with a determined gaze. His eyes traversed him intently, then finally, his sight drifted back up to the taut line of his brother's lips and onto a pair of defiant golden eyes that stared back at him; but Sesshomaru refused to move his blade.

All the while, Inuyasha remained absolutely still, not flinching, not fighting; the look in his eyes defiantly determined to obtain his goal, whatever that might be. Was the hanyou truly foolish enough to believe he would not take his life?

Sesshomaru continued to watch him; the sight of his blade positioned dangerously close to his brother's vein. The youkai lord's mouth tightened in cloaked frustration, but he continued to study him; curiously fascinated by the sight of the hanyou sprawled before him. Was this hanyou's life indeed so miserable that he truly wished to die? Had he indeed come to him to beg him to take his life?

"Go on," Inuyasha insisted, his voice low; his eyes blank and seemingly uncaring. "Kill me, or ..." his words trailed, as he made the effort to gather his thoughts.

Sesshomaru had never had a problem reading him before; but now, he stood confused at this hanyou's ultimate intent. Unwilling to surrender his position, the youkai lord continued to study the mud-crusted hanyou lying before him in the vibrant red kimono. "What is it that you truly want, Inuyasha?" he refused to believe it was death the hanyou truly desired; but he would ensure he explained himself. "Are you indeed so foolishly desperate that you desire me to take your life, or do you for similar reasons believe you can take mine?"

Inuyasha closed his eyes briefly, "I don't want to fight with you anymore," he forced the anguished words through his drying lips, his hands remaining plastered at his side as he submissively lay on the ground still fighting to breathe. "I know you're powerful, Sesshomaru; a hell of a lot more powerful than I am. I know your strength is not just in your sword. I know you can easily kill me if you want to, but maybe, just maybe I might get lucky enough to kill you," Inuyasha squeezed out hoarsely; fighting the pain in his throat. "Or maybe we'll both just end up in pieces, I don't know. But...," he paused away a choke; hoping his brother would hear his words; hoping he would care. "I don't…," Inuyasha paused again. He was tired of the fighting; tired of the hatred. He had no idea if it would ever end, but he needed to try; he hoped Sesshomaru wanted that as well. "If there's anything we can do to fix this family, I want to try," he finally said, his eyes nearly pleading, his throat dry and tight. "But if you don't want to, just say so and I'll leave and stay out of your life from here on out."

Sesshomaru still did not flinch, did not move, did not even blink, his blade ever so close to piercing the hanyou's skin. Should he take his life? Would that not end this confusion that pummeled him?

"I was wrong," still unmoving, attempting not to antagonize the youkai lord, Inuyasha continued, feeling the sharp metallic point of the blade just barely pricking his throat as he squeezed out his words. "I know it. I know I should never have done what I did. I realize now it wasn't anything that you did. It was me, the way I felt, and the way I've probably always felt around you," his eyes pooled slightly with water. He wasn't sure if it was because of the pain in his throat or the emotions in his heart. He hoped Sesshomaru thought it was the former. "You told me once that I should not project my thoughts onto you. Well, I think I did that then," Inuyasha said in an attempt to explain, not sure if he could; not sure if anything could. "I allowed myself to make assumptions about what you did based on my own foolishness. And right now, I just ..." his words choked off once more, his throat pulling tight as the tip of the blade sliced a little deeper. "I just want to try to change that if I can."

"You most certainly shouldn't have done that, you ungrateful hanyou. You should drop to your knees and thank Lord Sesshomaru for saving your miserable life," Jaken threw out with a look of pure disgruntled malevolence.

Inuyasha closed his eyes once again, clenching his claws into his palms. "Shut him up Sesshomaru. I'm not in the mood to hear his stupid jabbering right now." He opened his eyes and glared at the little youkai. No, he truly didn't want to fight; but Inuyasha knew if there was anything he wanted to hit; it was that stupid imp. This was between him and Sesshomaru. If Jaken didn't shut up, he would cut his head off, first chance he got.

"Why you miserable hany .." Jaken began as he raised his staff of two heads; he would burn this idiotic hanyou alive.

"Jaken," Sesshomaru called, then slowly re-sheathed his sword to allow Inuyasha to rise to his feet. "Go get 10 pieces of fish," he shot at the little youkai.

"10 piec... But Lord Sessho...,"

"Go," Sesshomaru commanded with an authoritative rasp. Clearly, he too had no patience for the little imp at this moment either.

Fretting worriedly Jaken looked from one to the other, then grumbled as he trekked off to retrieve the fish with an angry glare shooting across his shoulder as he continued to stare down the young hanyou.

"What is it that you wish, Inuyasha?" Sesshomaru threw across his shoulder as he walked pass him, his senses remaining acutely alert to every move the hanyou made.

"To get some answers. Answers to real questions," Inuyasha stated, wrapping his hand around the wounds in his throat as he rose to his feet with determined bravado. "Not that crap we been playing around with for the last couple of weeks."

Studying him intently, Sesshomaru exhaled slightly. So, the hanyou had come for answers; had he? He had decided he had questions and wanted the truth; had he? Sesshomaru knew he had not expected that as his reason for returning when he had initially scented him. In truth, he had not known what to expect then. As unpredictable and unconventional as the hanyou's thoughts could be, it was difficult to imagine what his actual intent was, but he had not truly believed he had come all the way out here simply to die; but nevertheless, he would see where this goes. "What questions do you have, little brother?" Sesshomaru asked, staring at the hanyou, lowering his gaze to regard him silently. But his sight remained steady and determined as he watched him, refusing to glance away.

Inuyasha turned uncomfortably from the penetrating gaze as he considered the question. The truth was, he probably had a million questions, but he knew Sesshomaru definitely wasn't the type who would sit still long enough to answer even half of them. In truth, though, only a few questions truly eat away at him for the past week or so, hell for most, if not all of his life. "You don't need the Tetsusaiga, so there's no need for us to fight over that anymore."

Sesshomaru narrowed his gaze. "I am certain you know that is not a question, Inuyasha." He stated impatiently.

"No, it's not," Inuyasha agreed. "So, why are we always fighting?"

"Perhaps you should answer that. You _did_ wage the last attack," Sesshomaru stated flatly as he continued to study him.

"Yeah, I did, and exactly why did I do that?" Inuyasha asked rhetorically; but his rage was clearly beginning to rise. "I figure it's because you've made it so I can't trust anything you do."

"Are you blaming me for your actions, Inuyasha?" Sesshomaru's voice remained calm as he focused a narrowed gaze down at the hanyou. "Are you saying that I guide your acts?"

"No, you know damned well that's not what I'm saying."

"Then explain yourself," Sesshomaru demanded curtly, crossing his arms and folding them into the sleeves of his haori. If he did not already know, the hanyou would soon learn that he had little tolerance for procrastinators. "Ask those questions that are tearing at you."

Inuyasha regarded Sesshomaru, who stared at him hard. Though his words were harsh and uncaring, his expression was blank of the ferocity he'd previously had, but Inuyasha knew he was right, if there was any way to resolve their issues, he had to get to the point. Sighing, heavily; he sauntered a few feet away to plop down on a nearby boulder. His hand pressed firmly against the holes that ripped at his throat, his blood thick as it dried on his fingers.

"Why couldn't you save me with our oyaji's sword?" Inuyasha asked finally. That wasn't where he had intended to start, but for reasons he couldn't explain, that was one of things that had truly bothered him lately; the fact that the sword wouldn't work and Sesshomaru had used his freaking fangs. He had tried never to display any interest in their oyaji, but he figured getting an answer to that would at least get to the heart of the problem. "Is it because you didn't want it to?"

"I did save you, Inuyasha," Sesshomaru's brows furrowed slightly as his eyes narrowed more, but he continued to observe his brother steadily. "I saved you with my own two hands."

"Yeah, but if you'd been able to use Tenseiga, it would have been with your heart," Inuyasha shot back; angry now for reasons he didn't understand. Did just being in his brother's presence set off some level of hidden hatred in him? "I know you have to have a heart to use Tenseiga."

"Are you implying that I have no heart, Inuyasha? Did not what I did show you otherwise?" Sesshomaru asked taken aback; that was a sobering thought indeed. If the hanyou truly thought he had no heart, there was no possible way for this to work as their chichi-ue had wanted. It was true he had never shown him kindness, but for him to believe he had no heart, meant he could not possibly believe he was even a living being. For him to possess a thought such as that was extremely revealing. "In truth, my heart had nothing to do with why Tenseiga did not save you," Sesshomaru said dismissively as he moved away to stare out across the horizon.

"I would think you should realize that saving you with my own hands, had more to do with my heart than anything my using Tenseiga would have shown you," he turned his head to watch the unflinching hanyou and wondered momentarily how much his previous actions had impacted his brother's impression of him. But if he faulted him for not loving him, he should know by now, that was just simply not in his nature. Is that what his association with those humans had done to him over the years? If you did not love as they did, you were no more than a specter? Is that why he clung to them so fervently? Were they the only creatures that were real to him? Is that why he tolerated their blatant disrespect? "As far as why Tenseiga did not save you, if anything, I believe it was because you were in the meidou once before, simple as that. Tenseiga cannot randomly bring everyone back. There are rules," he said it matter-of-factly; when in reality it was something he had learned only recently himself.

"Rules?" Inuyasha cocked his head as he stared up at him.

"Yes, something I learned the hard way," Sesshomaru informed him turning to look out across the horizon once more as he remembered the grave lesson he had learned when he had caused Rin's death. "But I now understand. It is not only the heart of the user that comes into play; it is also the situation of the receiver." He turned back and walked toward him. "That is why I believe you being in the meidou before had something to do with it. Tenseiga must have sensed it and thought you were already revived. Or it could have had something to do with the fact that you had not yet died. Of that, I am uncertain," Sesshomaru lowered his eyes momentarily. He knew he did not know as much about his sword as he probably should, but that was because he'd had no previous interest in wanting to revive anyone. He relied primarily on Tenseiga's ability to communicate with him to let him know when it wished to be used. "But I would not chance your death to test that theory."

Inuyasha studied him with puzzled eyes. He wasn't sure what any of what his brother was saying truly meant; being in the meidou of hell? Not being dead? What was that all about? How did that affect the Tenseiga? It was a healing sword, wasn't it; so why didn't it just heal? But he'd only seen Sesshomaru use it once, and it looked like he'd cut something. Did that have something to do with the rules he was talking about? Somehow he felt Sesshomaru believed whatever it was he was talking about; so did it matter if he understood it or not? At least for now, Sesshomaru had sort of convinced him that it wasn't that their oyaji wanted him dead.

He'd thought a lot about that lately; why their oyaji would give Sesshomaru a sword that would not work on him. With all the rampant thoughts he'd been thinking lately, whether they were logical or not, he'd almost convinced himself that their oyaji had to know a time would come when Sesshomaru might be forced to use it to save him and he had to know his eldest son's heart would not be in it. But for now, he wanted to believe that maybe Sesshomaru's hatred of him had not been the reason the sword didn't work. Even so, Sesshomaru using his own hands, or his fangs for that matter, had to mean something. But what did it mean when Sesshomaru had said he would not chance his death; did that mean he wouldn't let him die simply to test out his sword? It certainly couldn't have meant that he didn't want him to die. That youkai had never given a shit about him.

Inuyasha didn't know what any of that meant and honestly he didn't care as his thoughts drifted to what he felt was one of the true roots of his problems with Sesshomaru. He didn't even know what it was really, only that it seemed like Sesshomaru blamed him for something. Was it because their oyaji had left Sesshomaru for his mother? Or was it possibly because of his death? But then again, it might just be for the simple fact that he was even born. He knew how much that youkai hated humans and he certainly had to hate having a hanyou with human blood in his own family. Bracing himself, knowing the youkai lord would probably want to kill him for this, Inuyasha decided he was going to ask anyway, as he looked up at Sesshomaru, whose puzzled anger was clearly vivid in his golden eyes. "This hatred you cling to so much, is it truly reserved for me, only?"

"What are you implying," Sesshomaru demanded, whipping his head around to stare at the young hanyou, his brows narrowing behind a pronounced blink; but the deceptive calm in his voice was not nearly as inviting as it sounded.

Staring back at him, Inuyasha suddenly remembered something. He'd never thought much about it before, because he had never cared about what had happened back then, but there was a memory; vague though it might be; something Myoga had let slip when he had set out to kill that Ryukotsusei bastard to make his Tetsusaiga lighter. But that little flea had been jabbering the entire trip, and he'd spent half of it trying to ignore him. But he remembered he'd said that Sesshomaru had met with their oyaji after he'd placed that youkai into dormancy; but later, he'd also said their oyaji had died the night he fought Ryukotsusei because he'd been badly wounded during the battle. Now, he realized it was the same night; and yet, Sesshomaru hadn't gone with him.

Inuyasha continued shakily. "Our oyaji, I mean, you must have hated him too, right? You were with him before he died weren't you? So why the hell didn't you help him?" he asked hoping it wasn't true; that somehow he'd gotten some facts mixed up. "So how the hell is his death _my_ fault? I wasn't even old enough to do a damned thing, and yet you just stood around all superior and shit. If you ask me, you should blame your damned self for his death..." Inuyasha's last words simply whimpered weakly off his lips.

Then his expression devolved into astonished disgust as the pieces seemed to come together. "Oh, I get it, you arrogant piece of shit - I'm the only one that matters here aren't I? Blame the stupid hanyou for breathing, right? Nothing you do is ever wrong, is it? Do you even know what that means, Sesshomaru? It means '_**not right**_'. You are a real assho…" Inuyasha didn't continue; he couldn't. He could see Sesshomaru's features were changing. He was spewing out a hell of a lot of powerful, deadly youki. What the f…? Was he going to kill him now?

With the edges of his hair whipping fiercely up around him, Sesshomaru's eyes were turning crimson. "You ignorant hanyou," Sesshomaru snarled, his voice guttural and harsh. There was no mistaking the fact that the youkai lord was out for blood.

Watching his brother's youki flare wildly, Inuyasha immediately knew he'd be dead in seconds.

"Yeah, right, that's the thing to do. Let's just fight Sesshomaru," the hanyou threw out desperately. "There's no need to talk, just rip me apart. I'm just a filthy hanyou. So what's the point of talking to me," he asked praying that his brother would hear him. Staring into Sesshomaru's crimson orbs, Inuyasha yet again dared him to end his life. "If you're gonna kill me, what the hell are you waiting for? I don't have anyone to worry about, so I don't give a shit, I'm tired of all this back and forth crap; so just tear me apart. That'll settle all our problems or yours at least, anyway. You won't have to be bothered with this filthy hanyou anymore. You want me dead; just do it. Kill me!" he fairly yelled.

But much to Inuyasha's shocked surprise; Sesshomaru's powerful and furious youki began to subside.

Peering deep into a pair of troubled golden eyes swimming with anger and just barely veiled disgust, Sesshomaru realized that the fool was actually angry enough to offer up his life for the right to the truth, whatever that might be. But he was making accusations he knew nothing about. If he had asked, his chichi-ue would never have accepted. It was honorable for youkai to fight their personal battles. Outside aid would have been deemed disgraceful; a primary reason why he had always resisted Inuyasha's interference in his battles.

Yes his chichi-ue had been severely wounded when he went to protect that woman; but was he so mortally injured that he could not have survived. Did he truly _need_ assistance? Sesshomaru did not know because his chichi-ue had never asked and he had never offered. But now, when he thought back on it, his only question was _why?_ That same question that had plagued him so much of late. If his chichi-ue was indeed so gravely injured that it hindered his chance at success, why had he not asked his son for help? But the thing is, would he have even assisted him if he had? To assist in a battle to protect a human and a hanyou; he was uncertain he would have. Now, the only answer the youkai lord could summon that was the most logical; an answer he had tried to push aside for so long; was that his chichi-ue had not asked because he believed his chichi-ue had in fact, not cared if he had died that night or not; but he had not seen it when he spoke to him and now the youkai lord wondered if his death truly was his fault.

No, Sesshomaru yelled in his own head; his chichi-ue had died protecting Inuyasha and that filthy human! "You know nothing of youkai, Inuyasha," he snarled, angrily redirecting the blame; incapable of reconciling the questions plaguing his own mind. "You know not that we pride ourselves in resolving our own issues."

"And why is that, I wonder?" Inuyasha retorted flippantly. "It couldn't possibly be because the only one to ever teach me anything was my mother, a human? No, maybe it's because the only one who could have taught me anything about being a youkai - you - thought I was nothing but a piece of crap under your boot that wasn't worth your time and effort? Oh no, I know; maybe it's because ..."

"Enough!" Sesshomaru clenched his fists in anger, though his voice remained smooth and even. "To be so unappreciative; despite the fact that you owe your very life to me, is unthinkable."

Inuyasha glared at him. "_Just shut the fuck up, Sesshomaru,_" he spat with a deep breath. "And who are you to decide what's enough? We need to settle this. I understand that you hate me. I'm not totally stupid, no matter what you think. I get it. I'm just some disgusting freak that doesn't deserve to be alive. I know you think that instead of trying to save me, our oyaji should have probably just killed me off that night. I know it would have saved you a hell of a lot of trouble if he did. Although I'm pretty sure it probably crossed your mind to do that a hell of a lot of times since then, anyway." Fighting the traitorous sting fighting to pool in his eye, Inuyasha gritted his teeth. "I know you hated me. I accepted that. But shit, you go and save my life and fuck up my world, do you know that? It would have been just fine if you had just let me die that night. Hell, I'd already thought I was going to die. So why didn't you just let me?"

Inuyasha paused for a moment, but now that he'd started, he couldn't stop. There was too much that had gone unsaid for far too long. "What? You didn't think you made it clear enough how much you hated me over the years? Is that why when I was awakened from that seal, you wanted me dead? You just had to show me how much?"

"In truth, I thought you _were_ dead," Sesshomaru responded in his cool even tone.

"So what, the fact that I wasn't, is that why you decided you'd just take care of that shit yourself?" Inuyasha demanded as anger choked his words from somewhere deep in his throat. "You hated me so much that you just couldn't wait to have nature take its course; or maybe you just figured you'd kill me because you thought nature hadn't done its job? So then, what was the fucking point? Make up your mind. Either kill me if you want, or get the hell out of my life. But don't go saving my ass and thinking you're just gonna make me pay for it, 'cause it ain't happening. But at least step up and be a man and tell me what I ever did to you? Is it just because I was born into your fucking bloodline? Is it because our oyaji saved my mother when they met, then had the nerve to die saving her again?"

Sesshomaru's brows knit slightly. He was unaware of how they had met. He had only found out about that woman three months before his chichi-ue had died. It wasn't until later that he'd realized his chichi-ue had hidden her from him for a lot longer than he had thought. He'd found out that unlike youkai females; human's, on average, carried their child for nine months; not four. That, though, was just one of the many things he had since learned that his chichi-ue had not told him. "I believe you have said quite enough, Inuyasha," Sesshomaru murmured, a cool indifference glinting in his eyes.

"Yeah? Well, what do I care?" Inuyasha demanded heatedly. "All my life I've wondered what it was that pissed you off so damned much; but now I know. You don't give a damn about me, but you'd spend four days nursing my worthless ass back to health so I could do what? What the fuck do you want from me, Sesshomaru? You wanted me dead just because I was _born_, but. . ." He stopped, as he watched the unflinching youkai standing and staring at him with no sign of emotion at all. He knew he needed to be quiet now as he faltered a bit, trying to hide embarrassed eyes behind strands of long white hair; trying to seek shelter from his brother's steady, penetrating glare. "The hell with it. Just forget I said a damned thing."

Sesshomaru studied him intently; struck by a reality that he would never have thought possible. Not long ago, he would have been offended by such blatant displays of emotion. But now, he could do nothing except study this hanyou as he considered the sequence of events. His heart had begun to change and because of that he had made a promise to his chichi-ue and he had reached out. But he had never anticipated that his act would lead to such agony. Now, the hanyou stood before him bearing his very soul. The hanyou's pain was far greater than anything he would have ever imagined. Had he been the one to cause such anguish, Sesshomaru wondered. He had not realized; no, more significantly, he had not cared. He had previously never cared; but now... Fighting an urge to utter a deep sigh, he allowed his gaze to rove the length of the figure standing before him. "What is it that truly troubles you, Inuyasha?" Now, the youkai lord truly wanted to know. He had wanted to see where their conversation went, but he had not anticipated such turbulent fury.

Inuyasha didn't speak. He couldn't. He simply slumped onto the boulder trying to remove the choking sound from his voice before he spoke again. A choking he hated himself for emitting.

After what seemed like hours, he finally found it in himself to continue. "Do you remember the first time I saw you after my mother died," outwardly, his voice sounded deceptively calm; but the sound was merely a shroud for the turmoil raging deep inside him, still. "When I ran up to you and jumped into your arms, and you held me to your chest," yet again, he found himself choking; this time choking off a sad remembrance. "Did you hate me even then?" he asked quietly. "Is that why you didn't come by much after that?" Inuyasha asked angered at himself for feeling the loneliness he had experienced deep inside ever since that day. It had been 30 years before he'd seen his brother again after that time.

Sesshomaru remained silent for quite some time before responding. He recalled that incident. He recalled how it had bothered him that he'd had no idea why he had shown the hanyou that kindness. But he knew it was probably because the hanyou's mother had recently died and he had been unprepared when the hanyou had simply rushed up to him and jumped into his arms. But he also recalled how he had ensured that never happened again. On the few occasions he had returned after that, he had ensured his invisibility by staying out of the hanyou's scent path. He knew his abilities were merely that of a child's and that he would be incapable of distinguishing his scent. But as the years went by and he had observed him on numerous occasions and seen his weaknesses, even being forced to lower himself to a level of destroying useless youkai who pursued him once; he had grown even more annoyed that his chichi-ue would give his life to save someone so worthless. "It was neither love nor hate Inuyasha," he said as his thoughts drifted back to that day.

Sesshomaru did not enjoy going back in time; as his resistance to memories of his chichi-ue's death could attest. He felt it was a useless effort because those days were gone and nothing could be done to change them, even if one wanted to. "At that time I did not love, hate, nor care for anyone. I simply did what needed to be done; anything else would have resulted in wasted effort," he stared down at the hanyou's slumped shoulders; his vision skating slowly across the dejected figure, as he scented the rage surging in his blood; as he, himself, tried to finally understand him and the pain that tore at his spirit so heavily.

Inuyasha did not respond.

Sesshomaru felt the need to continue. He wanted to reach him yet again; to explain himself. He had never considered that such things would be so important to the hanyou. Yes, he had known of his human heart, which is the thing about him that he probably despised the most over the years; but he had never truly considered what it meant for him to have one. "At that time, you needed something I was neither willing nor able to give. I stayed with you that day and I taught you how to defend yourself; as well as how to listen with your ears and how to use your sense of smell so you would know who or what was coming, that was the best I could do."

Taught him how to defend myself; Inuyasha thought dejectedly as his thoughts drifted back to that day. It was the last good and probably the _only_ good day he could remember ever having with him. Little did he know at that time the youkai's plan was simply to get rid of him; to simply toss him aside.

A disparaging smile etched its way across his lips as he spoke. "You know, whether you believe it or not, when I was a brat, I used to worship you, Sesshomaru," Inuyasha was almost apologetic because he knew how true that fact was at this moment, still. He fought the sadness, quite likely heard in his voice, of knowing his brother did not care for him the same way, as he made every effort to keep his gaze trained on his feet. "I used to be so proud to have you as a big brother," he said without looking up at him, wondering when that had ceased; then wondering whether it truly had. "But, I didn't need you to teach me how to use my freaking claws," he did look up now. "Or how to sniff out some damned threats; I needed to go with you. I was just a brat, Sesshomaru and I wanted to go with you, but you ... you just left me there-alone." Inuyasha frowned and lowered his head once more. He could feel the sting increasing in front of his eyes and he did not want his face seen if that traitorous drop of water fell.

He wasn't the type of person to dwell too heavily on his past - there was precious little he could look back on and cherish. After his mother had died, without her love, the world had converted to an ugly, despicable place until he'd found Kikyo. He'd been alive for over two hundred years, but whenever he did look back; he knew exactly what he would see. Long nights with eyes blinded by cold tears flowing slowly off his cheeks when he'd been small and devastated from the loss of his mother and the comfort of her loving arms; the realization that he'd been discarded by his elder brother who never loved him; before he'd realized that in truth, he actually hated him. He remembered how he had been desperate to find some form of safety and finding nothing except pain and incessant loneliness.

"You can take a human girl with you, but you couldn't take your own brother," Inuyasha said with an exasperated breath. "You pretty much just tell me to get lost; pretty much just throw me away."

"Are you jealous of a human girl, Inuyasha?" Sesshomaru asked continuing to study him. His gaze had not left him once as he watched him struggle with his internal demons.

"I'm not jealous of anything," Inuyasha squawked shaking his head in dismay. That was probably his own clumsiness that allowed Sesshomaru to think such a thing; although he knew he had felt that pang tearing at him just moments before he'd said it.

"Then, how do you find yourself lacking?" Sesshomaru asked, his voice even more quiet and even toned than usual. "What do you feel you have not achieved? What have my acts caused you to miss out on."

"I don't know, ... nothing." _'Your love,'_ Inuyasha thought sadly.

"Then why are you going there? We can do nothing to change what has occurred."

"You just don't understand do you?" Inuyasha grew silent for quite a while, as his thoughts drifted again; lost in the space of time that occurred oh so long ago. Finally, he looked up into the youkai lord's eyes and spoke, "Tell me something Sesshomaru, those times when you came by before and after my mother died, it wasn't because you had any interest in me at all, was it? You were simply looking for oyaji's sword weren't you? You knew he'd left it to me, and you were hoping you'd see me with it and take it from me weren't you?"

"What do you want to hear, Inuyasha?" Sesshomaru asked, knowing now that the hanyou wanted more than just simple truth. Despite the changes in his heart, he could still scent it. It was like it was that time so many years before, when he could not give him what he wanted. The hanyou harbored too much anger, too much fury; Sesshomaru had not anticipated such pain. But in fact, it did not surprise him. He could not say he was displeased to know that after so many years of conflict and hatred that they had finally reached a point where they were likely to air their differences.

"The truth! Can you do that for once in your life, you piece of shit?" Inuyasha demanded with balled fists and fury in his eyes. "The world does not revolve around you. Can you just for once in your life open up and tell the truth?"

Sesshomaru knew that in the past, he would have simply responded without a thought and would have said something like the world did not revolve around the hanyou either. He would have told him that his pain was his alone to endure. But now, for some unknown reason this hanyou's pain touched him in some way. And even if he did not know why, he knew if there was anything he could do to help ease it, he wanted to try. "I never lie, Inuyasha; there is no point. I have no need to hide from my actions. I have done things to hurt you and deceive you, said things to anger you, but I have never lied to you."

Sesshomaru said it with such calm composure Inuyasha wanted to leap forward and punch him in the face for being so obnoxiously smug, especially when he clearly wasn't. He hated the way that youkai showed no emotions; he hated the way he just didn't care. "Yeah, well then just open your damned mouth and tell me what I want to know."

"If I do tell you what you think you wish to know, will the heaviness in your heart be lighter?"

"Just tell me if you've always hated me. Just tell me if you've always hated everything about me. Just tell me if the only reason you ever came around, was to find that damned sword." Inuyasha demanded. He had no idea if his heart would be lighter or not, he just knew he had been plagued by these questions for the last few weeks, shit, all of his life.

"I told you once before; answers do not always start in safe places, Inuyasha," Sesshomaru said, knowing the hanyou would likely ask questions he would not truly wish to know the answers to. Before responding, he studied him, trying to understand the pain that flowed from seemingly every pour of his body. He knew that not long ago, he would have found such an emotional display intolerable and weak. He knew he would have had no patience to sit and observe such a display. But now, it was different; he was different; because now, he did want to understand.

"Personally, I see no need to go there," Sesshomaru said in an almost quite whisper. "But if we must, let me say that originally it was merely curiosity," he said reflecting on his innate curious nature. "I was interested in seeing my chichi-ue's hanyou son and I wanted to see how you progressed with a human mother," Sesshomaru watched his brother closely. "As far as the Tetsusaiga, yes I was looking for it. I was always looking for it. I was looking for both Tetsusaiga and Sou'unga but your mother did not have them that much I knew. Toutousai would tell me nothing. I should have killed him for that, but he's such an evasive little bugger," Sesshomaru almost grumbled as his thoughts diverted momentarily to the annoying youkai. He remembered how he had even left a note on his hideout saying he had moved, because he did not wish to forge a sword for him. "But it was not until years after your okaa-san's death that I found out chichi-ue's fang was bequeathed to you." Sesshomaru folded his arms into the sleeve of his haori. "Of course, once I found that out, I wanted to see if you were even capable of wielding such a weapon, but by that time you had lost your heart to a human priestess who had bound you to that tree."

Sesshomaru knew his deep dislike for his brother began to emerge fully because of several things, the first of which was because his chichi-ue had even had a hanyou son. He had been unable to tolerate the fact that his chichi-ue had lowered himself to mate with a human female and have a hanyou child. The things that bothered him more afterward, was that his chichi-ue had died at the hands of a despicable human trying to protect that hanyou and his okaa-san; but to top it off, his chichi-ue had completely disregarded protocol and bequeathed his sword to a hanyou-a sword that was his right to inherit, had been bequeathed to a hanyou; his chichi-ue's second born; and that hanyou would be so foolish as to lose his own heart to a mortal priestess of all things; a priestess who would show her love, by binding him to a tree.

"After I revived, when you came looking for it again, to do what you did with that nothing woman, you had to have hated me, you wanted me dead. Why?"

Sesshomaru narrowed his gaze, slightly before responding, as he studied the young hanyou. Then he spoke, slowly, but deliberately. "Because chichi-ue had died leaving behind a hanyou child, because I received only the Tenseiga, because I spent years searching for chichi-ue's left fang, because I found out it was bequeathed to you, because you were a hanyou and did not deserve it, because you had not my power nor my skill, because you fell in love with a human priestess, because you allowed that priestess to bind you to a tree. Pick one," Sesshomaru said finally. "I had plenty of reasons and time to learn to hate you." Sesshomaru looked down at his younger brother whose eyes had closed as he reflected on what he'd heard. Sesshomaru could not feel his brother's sadness, but he believed he finally understood it.

"I know as a hanyou with human emotions, you probably now want to know if I ever cared for you?" Sesshomaru paused, knowing this was not what his brother would probably want to hear, but he had come for the truth, had he not? "In the past, I cared for no-one, at least not the way you would have wanted."

"But the main thing is that you blame me for our oyaji's death isn't it?" Inuyasha asked without raising his head, noting that his brother had not said it, but believing that had to be the primary reason he hated him so much. "You believe it's my fault he's dead, don't you?"

Sesshomaru studied him. His fault? He had disliked him for any number of reasons, starting from the very fact that the hanyou even had his chichi-ue's blood flowing through him; but their chichi-ue's death, had he ever really blamed him for that? He had not liked his chichi-ue's choice. His chichi-ue had died when he went to save them and that had angered him; yes. But was that also why he had died? He resented the fact that his chichi-ue had even been in such a position, having mated with a human woman whom he had to protect. Had the hanyou not existed, his chichi-ue would likely not have died then.

But had he ever blamed the hanyou because his chichi-ue had died doing something he chose to do? No, his hatred grew more because of the fact that his chichi-ue had bequeathed him a sword that it was his birthright to possess. The youkai lord struggled to control the thoughts that fought to surface ever since he had returned to his haha-ue's castle to train his Tenseiga. The one that began with, "why". He had thought it was only the hanyou that needed to grow. He had thought because his heart had already changed and that he had received his Bakusaiga that he had changed all he could. He had not realized when they started, that the hanyou would have questions that would cause him to question his own thoughts so closely. Did this mean he, Sesshomaru, would not find comfort until he could deal with those questions in his own mind? But even though the youkai lord had strength enough to enter any battle, he did not yet have the strength to deal with them; he did not wish to think about why his chichi-ue had really died that night.

**Yea, Finally they talk! **

**Did Inuyasha come back to die, or does he really intend to apologize? What was he thinking to show his face to Sesshomaru again? Did he forget that he'd clawed his brother's face open? Will Sesshomaru kill him because that youkai made him mad and he didn't kill her? In essence, will he direct his anger at the hanyou?**

**So does Sesshomaru think that because he never lied to his younger brother, that that was okay even if he beat him up all the time? Strange logic.**

**But what was that? Inuyasha's mouth from the manga? He certainly didn't talk like that in the anime, did he? Well, at least not so much! **

**Note: Some of the overall thought concepts in this chapter were based loosely on Hella's POISON.**

**chichi-ue - (father)  
haha-ue's - (mother's)  
meidou - (darkness of hell)  
okaa-san - (mother)  
oyaji's - (old man's)  
youki - (dark demon power)**


	12. Chapter 12 The Whole Truth

**Sesshomaru & Inuyasha: Kyoudai in Kōtetsu  
Sesshomaru & Inuyasha: Brothers in Arms**

**章****12 - ****ザ丸事事実****  
Sh****ō**** 12 ****–**** Za Zen Jijitsu  
Chapter 12 - The Whole Truth**

**A/N: Okay, so last time, Sesshomaru and Inuyasha started their first face to face counseling session. Has anything developed? Have they gotten everything off their chest? Will they make any headway in their relationship? I hope so. But we shall see.**

Sesshomaru could scent the pain and confusion that rippled in his brother's heart; but more importantly he could sense his own heart churning in confusion. Never, had he witnessed such a display of emotions. And never had he cared about such an exhibition. For so many years, his heart had been no more than a muscle that sustained his life, but now, because of the changes it had recently undergone; it seemed to thrust his very thoughts into utter chaos. This was not acceptable. He would not allow it. Such confusion was beneath him. He alone, controlled his thoughts; always had. His chichi-ue had been dead for over 200 years. What did it matter now, how or why? He had not taken his life, so what did any other reason matter?

Turning away from the throbbing confusion visible in the eyes of the hanyou in front of him; the youkai lord tried to refocus his own thoughts. But, there was no safe place surrounding the events of that night. He could not focus on the human woman his chichi-ue had died protecting, or the human insect he had died fighting, or even the fact that his chichi-ue had been wounded that night. He could not think of the hanyou child his chichi-ue had left behind or the fact that the hanyou's mother may well have been the cause of his chichi-ue's death, because he was certain, she was not the one responsible for it.

Sesshomaru knew he may well have been angered that the hanyou even had his chichi-ue's blood flowing through him, and that he had been born on the night his chichi-ue had died, but those facts were inconsequential; because the hanyou also was not the one who had been responsible for it. He could not think of the fact that from what he had seen of the rubble after the fire, that it was a simple single story castle, or manor house at best; but for whatever reason despite the fact that his height would have been more than 10 times that castle's height, his chichi-ue had not transformed when the castle crashed down around him. He could not allow himself to think too deeply about any of those things, because the youkai lord was fairly certain he already knew what he would find.

"Do _you_ feel responsible for his death?" Sesshomaru asked finally, knowing now that for this moment it mattered not who was responsible. He would think only of that which had always been important to him; his chichi-ue was dead, and it was not him, his first born son, who had taken his life.

"No, how could I?" Inuyasha's head shot up as he glared at Sesshomaru. "I was just a brat. And from what my mother said, he died the night I was born. So how could I possibly be responsible?"

"So, why do you believe I hold you responsible?"

"Because you blame me for something, Sesshomaru. Just tell me what the hell I did that made you so... No, never mind," Inuyasha cut himself off, as his eyes glinted with new knowledge. "I got it. It's because of my mother isn't it? Because she was human, right? And I was nothing but a filthy hanyou. Because our oyaji went to save his despicable human mate and since you can't get to any of them, you just felt you'd take it out on the stupid hanyou they left behind, right?"

Sesshomaru stared at him. So the hanyou had more sense than he had previously thought; but despite his speculations as to why he had not cared for him, he had no idea what thoughts truly haunted him of late. Yes, he hated the fact that his chichi-ue had made such a disgraceful choice, to not only mate with a human female, but to die protecting her; but more significantly to die at the hands of that despicable flea - Takemaru. But that was merely the beginnings of his hatred.

The question he still could not face, haunted him even now; so once more, the youkai lord forced himself to redirect his thoughts. Had his chichi-ue not died the way he had, his own life could have been considerably different. With those two swords, he could have completed his own empire quite some time ago. "Perhaps you are correct," Sesshomaru began as he inhaled the cooling evening breeze; trying to shut out his own private thoughts. "Perhaps I did blame you. If you were never born, perhaps he would be alive today," he said, then decided to reveal one of the true reasons behind his grave dislike of the hanyou. "Or perhaps he would not; because maybe I would have killed him a long time ago and taken both the Tetsusaiga and Sou'unga from him."

"Wh-a-a-t?" Inuyasha's eyes now pulsed with incomprehension and shocked confusion as he whipped his head upward to stare at Sesshomaru. He though, met only a pair of coldly indifferent eyes.

"Perhaps I would have killed him myself," Sesshomaru repeated rather matter-of-factly as he moved slowly across the hanyou's sight path. "If I blame you for anything it may very well be because chichi-ue's death, while protecting you at your birth, took that right away from me"

"Took what right away from you? The right to kill our oyaji? You would have killed him? Our oyaji?" Inuyasha could not believe what he had just heard.

Sesshomaru's eyes were fixed and unemotional as he stopped to face the hanyou before responding. "I had considered it, that very night in fact. It was my right as his first born."

Despite the fact that he was sitting, Inuyasha's knees felt weak, and his head began to spin like he was going to faint as he felt something foreboding drop in his stomach. "Your right? How the hell could something like that be your right?" He barked, jumping to his already unsteady feet; finding his brother's words impossible to understand. He could not have heard correctly "How could you have a right to just kill your own father?"

"That is the youkai way," Sesshomaru said without a hint of inflection in his voice; his gaze intent as he studied the hanyou. "That is how youkai prove their dominance."

No, this wasn't right; Inuyasha gaped at him, plopping to his bottom once more. He was too weak to stand. How could Sesshomaru simply stand there and so calmly discuss the possibility of wanting to kill his own father with no signs of emotion. He had never thought he had a heart before, but was this an indication that he truly didn't?

Sesshomaru was aware that Inuyasha likely knew nothing of youkai customs. His reaction to his healing treatment, told him as much. He also knew that what he was telling him now was likely a harsh introduction to their ways; but recently, it had been his intent to familiarize him with youkai traditions. The hanyou himself had said he had come for the truth, had he not? This Sesshomaru would see how much truth he truly wanted. Besides, now, was as good a time as any for him to learn. "You asked me once why I sought power. Have you never considered what would be required to obtain it?" Sesshomaru studied him; ignoring the disbelief that cloaked his brother's large golden eyes; fully aware of the human emotions that likely ripped at his chest.

"Maybe not, but I certainly wouldn't have thought it meant killing our oyaji."

Sesshomaru directed a steady unblinking gaze toward him. "Chichi-ue was the lord of the western lands," he stated flatly as he began to explain. The hanyou would either grow up today, or not at all. He would learn that there was a distinct difference between youkai and humans. "He was the most powerful youkai alive in these lands at that time. As his first born, it was my right to succeed him. I am now the lord of the western lands; but I did not earn my title by defeating him. I merely inherited it." His chichi-ue would have known he would not have wanted it that way; and though Sesshomaru knew many things had displeased him about what happened when he had died, that was one of the primary things that had angered him. "I did nothing to prove my dominance over the previous lord of these lands. That is why I refuse to rule today; my haha-ue does. Chichi-ue had Tetsusaiga and Sou'unga it was also my right to possess them."

"So what made you just think he wouldn't have killed you?" Inuyasha spewed out angrily. He could not tolerate that youkai's twisted arrogance; to blame him for their oyaji's death or something all his life, when he knew he had intended to kill him all along.

"I thought no such thing," Sesshomaru stated placidly. "Every battle I enter, I enter with confidence. But even though I am powerful, I do not enter a battle as a fool," he said that rather resentfully. "Any youkai worth their salt should be fully aware of the possibility of their own demise in any battle they engage in," he turned and directed his gaze out across the horizon once again. "The night chichi-ue died, I was aware of his injuries which is why I did not confront him in that manner. I could have conquered him easily if I had so chosen, but I would not. It would have proved nothing. Even though I thought he would survive; I was fully aware that there was a possibility that he might not; as I am certain, he was," Sesshomaru knew that possibility was why he had requested his chichi-ue bequeath his swords to him. But he also knew he did not believe he should have died fighting mere humans; and that is what he found difficult to understand now. "I foolishly thought he would be there when I was ready to take his life," Sesshomaru continued to explain; as he fought to push aside those thoughts that insisted upon pervading his mind. "But he foolishly gave it to save you and that mother of yours."

_Why do you desire power that badly?_

"So then you hated me because he left Tetsusaiga to me, huh? Is that why you wanted me dead?" Inuyasha now wanted to know. "Is that why you want to kill me? Because you couldn't kill him?"

_Sesshomaru, do you have something to protect?_

Angered that he could no longer stop them; Sesshomaru remembered it all - everything as his head was immediately pummeled with crystal clear recollections of the events of that night. The night his chichi-ue had died.

That annoying little youkai, Myoga, had come to him and told him his chichi-ue wanted to see him after that battle with Ryukotsusei. The female human would be birthing her child this night, and his chichi-ue intended to fulfill his obligation as a male youkai; but he had also expected there to be trouble. Sesshomaru remembered wondering then, why he had sent for him. His chichi-ue had to know he had no interest in that human female or her hanyou child; he couldn't even imagine why he did; but he assumed it was more for the sake of his heir; the hanyou.

The youkai lord remembered confronting him at the edges of a snow drenched beach, before his chichi-ue had rushed off to fight the guards in that castle; to protect that human woman and her child. His body was still spewing blood from the wounds he had received from his battle with that worthless youkai dragon.

"Are you going chichi-ue?" he had asked, but he had not truly cared whether he did or not; though he could not imagine why he had wanted to. A youkai's obligations did not extend to humans. Why would his chichi-ue-the then lord of the western lands-bestow such an honor upon her?

"Will you stop me, Sesshomaru?"

"I will not," he had said. But he remembered what he had said in his own heartless way. "Before you take your leave, however, I ask you to bequeath to me, Sesshomaru, your fangs, Sou'unga and Tetsusaiga."

"And if I refuse... Will you kill me, your chichi?"

Sesshomaru remembered he had not responded, simply watched him with a steady gaze, as the water washed up along the shore. Because he remembered he had considered doing exactly that, right then and there. To take his life and his swords; thus leaving that human whore and her child to their own fate. His chichi-ue's very question told him he, himself, was expecting him to do it at any time.

"Why do you desire power that badly?" His chichi-ue had asked, but still, he had provided no response, because Sesshomaru knew he was still considering his options. But he had been considering doing it for quite some time by then; several weeks in fact. But he knew he would not have killed him then because he was injured and, he also had to admit, because the youkai standing in front of him then, was his chichi-ue. His thoughts then, were when he took his life, his chichi-ue would have to be in top fighting form. He was, after all, his chichi-ue, the only male youkai he had ever respected; and he deserved and had earned that right. But how could he not understand that power was the only means, by which his son could obtain his ultimate glory?

"Why do you desire power?" His chichi-ue had demanded his tone was louder, clearly angered.

"My path is that of a conqueror," he had tried to explain to him; though he could not understand how his chichi-ue could not already know. "Power is the sole means by which that path can be opened."

"The path of a conqueror, eh?" He remembered how his chichi-ue had lowered his head in what Sesshomaru remembered thinking, was apparent disappointment; which he did not understand. Ever since he was a young pup and had killed that giant ogre alone, his chichi-ue had to have known he wanted nothing but to get stronger; to be more powerful. It was the thrill of his first kill that had set him on his path as a conqueror.

"Sesshomaru. Do you have something to protect?"

That was when his chichi-ue had shocked him. "Something to protect?" He had been amazed that his chichi-ue had forced him to think such a despicable thought. He had repeated the question in utter disbelief. His chichi-ue knew him better than anyone, how could he have asked him, Sesshomaru, such a ridiculous question? He knew he cared for no one and would protect nothing.

"I, Sesshomaru, have no need for such a thing," he remembered flinging his hand and even the very thought to the side. It had disgusted him that his chichi-ue would think of him as needing such a useless thing.

But he had simply flared his youki and transformed to his true form, a giant inu youkai and Sesshomaru had watched in complete annoyance as he had so rudely concluded their conversation before departing for the last battle he would ever fight. He even remembered the moon that night, how it had radiated a brilliant white, partially blocked by dark, foreboding clouds that he had paid no heed to.

"This is pointless," he had simply said as he watched his wounded chichi-ue take to the air, dripping blood in his wake; the last time, he would ever see him alive.

Sesshomaru realized now where his dislike of the hanyou had truly originated. Before he thought it had merely been the fact that his chichi-ue's blood even ran through the hanyou. Yes, he understood that it had increased over the years, but in truth his dislike for him had originated in one place and one place only. His dislike had originated because when he had reviewed those events before, he had thought it was all about him; because he believed his chichi-ue had deliberately disrespected him, his first born. That he neither wanted him to be a ruler nor a conqueror, because he had been angered that his eldest son had been obsessed with his desire for power. He had believed his chichi-ue had deliberately sought to deprive him of his right to rule as well as his ability to conquer. That he had went to protect the hanyou and his okaa-san and that he had bequeathed his sword to the hanyou because he cared not for his first born; only for a hanyou that had not yet been born; because he had given his life to protect them.

But with all the things he had learned recently, Sesshomaru now knew his chichi-ue's reasoning was far more complex and far less spiteful. It was far too well thought out; far too well planned, from the delivery of his Tenseiga to the kekki that had been placed on the Tetsusaiga to ensure he could not obtain it, even to the disappearance of Sou'unga until it reappeared on the end of the hanyou's arm as well as to the passing of the meidou stone to his haha-ue. Now, he knew the reasons behind his chichi-ue's death were far greater than anything he could possibly have imagined and he knew it had nothing to do with either of his sons.

His chichi-ue had done everything he could to ensure both his sons were set on what he believed was an appropriate path. Toutousai had told him as much, but he had not listened; truly listened. His chichi-ue himself had said as much when he had shown himself after that battle with Sou'unga.

_"Sesshomaru, Inuyasha. You have finally found the answer. You have ensured that Sou'unga will be sealed forever in the netherworld. I have nothing more to teach you."_

Found the answer. But he had not; not then; not truly. He had only realized part of it at that time. But he now knew, it was for that reason, that he was probably haunted by his chichi-ue's words of late.

_Sesshomaru. Do you have something to protect?_

He now understood why his chichi-ue had left the Tetsusaiga to the hanyou. Knowing his eldest son would not willingly protect him, he had left it for the hanyou to protect himself. But he had also known of the difficulty he would have controlling his youkai blood. Would it do for him to acknowledge the true purpose behind their chichi-ue's plan to him now? But, what function would that serve? He finally understood that his chichi-ue wanted him not only to work with the hanyou; he wanted him to acknowledge him as his youngest son by accepting the challenge to protect him as well. Somehow, he knew his eldest son would not need his sword, the Tetsusaiga; because he knew he would eventually receive his own if he could only learn to care.

But it was only through using the Tenseiga that he had been able to accomplish that. Had his chichi-ue also known he would try to kill the hanyou to obtain the sword he preferred to possess? He must have and yet he had decided to risk it nonetheless; that is likely why his Tenseiga's scabbard protected him from the Tetsusaiga and the Tetsusaiga's scabbard protected the hanyou from his sword. Everything his chichi-ue had done had been well planned. He had no idea how his chichi-ue had known of these things; other than his possibly consulting with a sorceress of some sort. He would never have thought his chichi-ue would seek the aid of a sorceress; but did that even matter now? Because he understood that his hand still guided his life long after his death. Sesshomaru was well aware that he had not conquered him as he had desired, but he could at least attempt to accomplish the final goal his chichi-ue had wanted him to fulfill; which is why he had promised he would try; but now, he knew he would make that his objective.

The youkai lord now even understood the likelihood of the events that had directly led to his chichi-ue's death that night. He had transformed in his battle to fight Ryukotsusei which is how he had managed to seal him with his claw and had placed him into dormancy, but he had probably used only Kenjutsu in his battle with that Takemaru flea and his army since they would have had no youkai energy for the Tetsusaiga to combat.

But the answers to those questions were easy to surmise. It was the other questions that plagued him of late that was difficult to get past. The questions he had been forcefully trying to push aside since training his Tenseiga. Was his reluctance to face those questions because of the changes in his heart?

He would never have previously concerned himself with such irrelevant issues; but now, he wondered if his need to face them was _because_ of those recent changes.

Allowing his thoughts to venture further than he had ever allowed them to venture before; the youkai lord found his head instantly plagued by those questions. Even that insect Takemaru had been well prepared. How was that possible? How had he known his chichi-ue would appear at the castle that night? Youkai did not generally love, but as a show of honor and respect to their mates for producing an heir, there was one obligation no male youkai would ever allow his mate to endure alone. As long as they had breadth in their body, they would never allow their child to be born without being at their mate's side. But how did Takemaru know that? It was not his castle, yet he had brought an entire army with him to that female human's birthing bed. Only youkai knew the exact day a child would be born. From what he knew of human's, at best, they could only guess at the approximate day of birth. But Takemaru had undoubtedly known and he had obviously known his chichi-ue would be at that female's bedside.

Suddenly, Sesshomaru found himself wondering what was it about training his Tenseiga that had made him suspicious of his chichi-ue's death of late. It was then, that these question had begun to plague him. Thinking back on those events, the youkai lord realized, it wasn't about training his sword at all though, was it? Yes, something had entered his head that day, but it wasn't about his sword; it was... the meidou stone. Though he had not wanted to believe it, Sesshomaru now finally understood that his earlier suspicious were quite likely correct. Ever since he had observed the capabilities of the stone when he had returned to his haha-ue's castle to train his Tenseiga, something about it had bothered him. Now he knew it was because somewhere in the back of his mind, he had wondered why his chichi-ue had not taken it into battle with him that night. In the palm of his hand, he had held his own life-line; but instead his haha-ue said he had left it to her. Why would he do that? Why would he plan out those events in such detail and leave the one item that could have restored his life, in the hands of his haha-ue?

Lowering his head, Sesshomaru now knew that if he had indeed chosen not to save himself; there was only one person he would wish to leave so ardently-his haha-ue. He did not know what her actual involvement was, but he now knew she had been involved. Humans did not generally have knowledge of youkai customs. But someone had told Takemaru that his chichi-ue would show up that night; and they had given him sufficient warning so that he would be well prepared. Sesshomaru could think of only one youkai who would do that; and he knew his chichi-ue would have known that as well.

Though he had not wanted them to, Sesshomaru had always known his thoughts would eventually lead him here, which is one of the primary reasons he had tried so hard not to face them. Despite this new knowledge, though, he knew there was little he could do about it now; but as the lord of the western lands, for his chichi-ue's sake, he also knew he would have to face her; eventually.

Turning to look once more at the hanyou, he saw the slumped shoulders of his brother as he waited for his response. "You managed to kill Ryukotsusei, Inuyasha; a youkai chichi-ue, himself, had not truly managed to defeat. But killing you, would not be the same as killing him," Sesshomaru said as he closed his eyes in an attempt to deal with his own growing compassion. He knew he would rule eventually, his haha-ue wanted him to do that now. But she also knew why he would not, and now, there were other things he needed to accomplish. "Let me say, that my wanting you dead was a long time ago," he looked down at the young hanyou with more sentiment than he had ever felt. "I do not have human emotions such as yours, but a lot has changed over the past few years. If you have not already noticed, it began shortly after I was shown who the true owner of Tetsusaiga was-you."

Sesshomaru turned and strolled away slowly, his golden gaze glancing out across the horizon yet again. With the blankness of the darkening sky, he had always found it easier to focus his thoughts as he looked into the emptiness. "I had even stopped trying to defeat you to obtain your sword; and except for an occasional punch in the face here and there, which you deserved, I might add; I had actually stopped drawing my own sword, Tokijin, against you." He turned to look at the hanyou across his shoulder. "Except for that time in the panther demons lair when you brazenly deemed it necessary to remind me that you were sealed to that tree."

The two remained silent for quite some time. Sesshomaru waited for Inuyasha to respond, knowing there was a heaviness in his heart that he could do nothing to remove.

"When you saved me," Inuyasha finally spoke again, turning to study Sesshomaru; the confusion in his eyes only vaguely cloaking the pain that lingered there. "Why?"

"There is no point to this, Inuyasha," The youkai lord looked at him as he intently studied the dejected figure that sat beside him, knowing there was little, if anything he could do that would erase the years of pain the hanyou had made plain he had endured. Sesshomaru was at a lost to understand how the truth the hanyou sought so vigorously, could do anything other than cause him more agony.

"Why?" Inuyasha demanded a little louder.

"Hanyou though you are, you are still my little brother; chichi-ue's second son." Sesshomaru announced with a determined glance. "Though I may not have wished it so, it is a fact I have always acknowledged to you; even if resentfully." He had fought that for so long, but now, he knew he truly accepted it.

"Yeah, but that's not why you saved me. Before, you said, 'you had reasons for saving me, but you discarded them'. What were they?" Inuyasha demanded, refusing to be swayed by words that probably meant nothing to the youkai lord in front of him.

"In truth, that is the reason," Sesshomaru responded calmly; but studying him closely. "Because you are my brother, I wanted to get you out of that human village; you have been with humans far too long, Inuyasha. You have allowed yourself to be sealed to a tree by them, you prance around in front of humans displaying your weakness, and you have allowed them to chain and seal your spirit with beads that suppress your youkai nature. You run around tending to those villagers needs like you are their watchdog."

Looking away, Sesshomaru crossed his arms and tucked them into his haori's sleeves; his brow creased in an expression that Inuyasha could only assume was probably anger.

Inuyasha considered those words and realized if he let himself think back on it, Sesshomaru had done more than just save his life after he'd been poisoned; he'd saved his life, not once but several times, especially during that battle with Sou'unga. But what did that mean? Did it mean that Sesshomaru actually cared? Why couldn't he just say it then? Before he had thought it was just because that youkai had wanted to have the upper hand, but now he wasn't sure.

There was even that time when Sesshomaru had indirectly helped him get his Tetsusaiga back from that Princess Sara when she had stolen it. His friends had never said anything about it, but he clearly remembered thinking how he hadn't even scented the fact that she had been possessed by demons; which had enabled her to trick him and steal the sword in the first place. Sesshomaru, though, probably had no problems scenting it.

He remembered wondering afterward why Sesshomaru had not wanted him to attack her. He hadn't acknowledged it then, he'd simply said he'd been passing by like the wind. But that was because he didn't want to believe there was any good in him; but was Sesshomaru actually trying to save her. He had no idea. He knew he hadn't wanted him to attack her, but clearly, Sesshomaru hadn't wanted her to attack him either. That youkai had even stepped in between them when she had threatened to send him to his death after Sesshomaru had used his own Tokijin against him; even though it was just a minor graze to his shoulder. Thus, he'd saved him yet again. But Sesshomaru had even put up with his hand being burned by the kekki that had been placed on the Tetsusaiga. Maybe he really was actually trying to save her. Sighing heavily, Inuyasha didn't think he'd ever understand anything about that youkai; and now, he was sure of it.

Maybe he was wrong before; maybe there were a lot of things Sesshomaru had done to save or help him, but he just hadn't seen it. Had he not seen any of it because he was convinced that his brother simply hated him? Was there more good in Sesshomaru than he wanted to acknowledge? Maybe he just didn't know how to talk to people. He wasn't great at doing that either, but maybe it was just that it was more difficult for Sesshomaru to say what was truly in his head or in his heart? Did he just simply want people to think he was more evil than he truly was? If not, why had he saved him so many times?

Once again, Inuyasha was reminded of how much he hated thinking. He had never stopped himself from finding out what he wanted to know, even if he had to be tactless. "Why did you save me, Sesshomaru? What is it that uyou want? Do you even care about me?" He had to know.

Sesshomaru froze as he stared at him. He had never explored his emotions; despite the changes in his heart. It was only recently, after he'd caused her death, that he had been able to admit to himself that he cared about Rin, cared for her even, which is why he had not hesitated to leave her with the human miko; but Rin was different. She

was no more than a helpless human child who had freely shown her admiration of this daiyoukai. Was it purely vanity that had caused him to care for her? No, he seriously doubted that it was.

But the hanyou, Sesshomaru reflected; he had never believed he had meant anything to him; but in truth, the depths of it was that he had neither hated him, nor had he ever loved him. He simply existed; a mistake his chichi-ue had left behind. At least, that was what he had always told himself. There were any number of things he may have hated about him; from his being a hanyou to his pathetic love for those humans, but did he truly care for him?

"And would you feel better if I said my goal in saving you _was_ to obtain something?"

Inuyasha froze as he stared at him. He knew now, that his brother really hadn't wanted anything from him. But why wouldn't he say why he'd done it? Why couldn't he just say because he cared if he did? Didn't he know that's all he wanted? But Sesshomaru is the one who had always hate him, it had never been the other way around.  
Watching the hanyou carefully with a calculating gaze, Sesshomaru took in the pain and turmoil clearly visible in his younger brother's large golden eyes, the torment crusting his tight, anxious lips, and the tension that slowly strummed its way up and down every muscle in his body. Despite all of his questions to him, it was painfully obvious that Inuyasha, himself, had no idea what he truly wanted. He said he had come in search of answers, but what value was there in asking questions about the past? Why had he not yet asked the one question, Sesshomaru was certain was on his mind? Why had he not asked for his acceptance?

If he were honest with himself, Sesshomaru knew, even he was not entirely certain of the full direction of his own intentions. Had that not been the primary reason for his own reluctance to ask the hanyou to accompany him? Despite his insistence to himself that he had not asked because he was certain the hanyou would not openly accept the changes in his heart; he knew it was more because they each harbored a reluctance to freely communicate with each other.  
But the youkai lord believed h understood even more about this hanyou now. This half-brother of his; this cocky young hanyou with the foul mouth; whom he had resented for so very long was in reality nothing more than a sad, bruised youth. Though he had not died as Rin had, his very life had probably endured a history far darker than anything Sesshomaru could have ever imaged.

Watching as the pain he tried so hard to conceal spewed out from his very pores, Sesshomaru knew that this hanyou brother of his had been hated for his mere existence. He knew that he had been despised by everyone he encountered, even his elder brother. Sesshomaru also knew though, that this sad, damaged hanyou, for whatever reason, sought some form of recognition; even if it was only at the unappreciative hands of those humans he protected so eagerly.  
Sesshomaru knew he may not relish the thought, but he now believed he understood why this hanyou would so readily run to those humans. Because he believed it was because he wanted - no - it was because he _needed_ someone who accepted him; someone on whom he could cling. But could he allow such an event? Could he truly say he cared when he in fact, had no idea what his current thoughts of this hanyou were? He had hoped in time, after they had travelled together, perhaps, that they're differences would be non-existent. But though he believed he understood him more, he could not yet say he cared, because he knew not if what he felt, was simply a result of the obligation he had taken on when he had made that vow to his chichi-ue. 

The youkai lord did understood that for whatever reason, he did want to make peace now; whether it was for his chichi-ue's sake, for the hanyou's, or for his own, that was yet another uncertainty he had to deal with. Perhaps it would take some time; several years or more; perhaps it would never happen, but for some yet unknown reason, he believed he did want to try. He knew he had never truly considered the hanyou his brother, but he knew now there was more to him than he had previously thought.

Finally breaking the silence, Sesshomaru turned to him as he answered the question that had been asked some time ago. You asked what I wanted, Inuyasha; what plan I had discarded," he hesitated, but only slightly as he studied him closely. "After I discovered you pining away at that well, I wanted to give you a choice." His gaze penetrated deep into the hanyou's large golden eyes as he added. "I wanted you to travel with me so you could connect to your youkai side. But after that first attempt did not go as I had hoped; having saved your life, I intended to use that as my justification to make you feel compelled to travel with me. That is youkai custom. I believe you have spent far too much time around humans," Sesshomaru explained, truly annoyed Inuyasha laid preference to his human side, though his expression showed no change. Even though he believed he understood why now, he still did not wish to accept it. Before him, was the son of a daiyoukai, and the hanyou should not settle for measly human scraps.

"Follow you like that pipsqueak Jaken? Why?" Inuyasha asked casting his gaze back toward the ground, unable to look into his brother's eyes; afraid his hopes would be dashed once again. "So you can send me off to get six pieces of fish that you know damned well you're not going to eat?"

"No, _travel_ with me, like Inuyasha, my brother," Sesshomaru corrected him. "But I knew if I did that-compelled you-I would be no better than the humans, manipulating you to do my will," Sesshomaru said studying him closely. "If you travel with me, it must be of your own desire."

**A/N: Hope you enjoyed!**

**I do want to point out that some of the face to face conversational conflicts between the brothers may have been inspired by POISON by Hella. I did try to add some diversity so I hope it does not seem too similar, but I must admit that I read part of her story a while ago and I liked some of the things she had them cover. But the overall concept of Sesshomaru wanting to kill his father, is an exploration of what he said in the anime. But I am more interested in Sesshomaru and have not read any stories that center on Sesshomaru falling in love. Except for a friend who is covering Sesshomaru and Kagura here on fanfic. (Not that they don't exist, just that I haven't read any) Her story is called A Demon's Love by Izanami. Hope you enjoy that as well.**

**The scene between Sesshomaru and his beloved chichi-ue occurs at the beginning of the third Inuyasha movie – 'Swords of an Honorable Ruler' The words are as spoken, but the thoughts are new. Since Sesshomaru made it clear in the anime that his intent was to be the one to take his chichi-ue's life, he could very well have been thinking of doing it at that very moment.**

**Princess Sara is from Inuyasha Episodes 133/134 Romiko Rakahashi – The Woman Who Loved Sesshomaru. It's funny that Sesshomaru thought even Jaken should have known she was possessed by demons, yet Inuyasha clearly didn't.**

**chichi - (father)  
chichi-ue - (father – the one above you)  
haha-ue's - (mother's)  
inu youkai - (dog demon)  
kekki- (magic spell)  
kenjutsu - (the art of sword fighting)  
Sou'unga - (azure dragon blast)  
oyaji - (old man)  
youkai - (demon)**

**Does this mean it's done? They can be friends now? They cleared the air, so they certainly shouldn't have any more problems with each other, should they?**


	13. Chapter 13 And Nothing But The Truth

**A/N**: Okay, last time Sesshomaru and Inuyasha had their first heart to heart. Through that conversation, Sesshomaru came to a realization about some unanswered questions he had surrounding his father's death. So what happens now, will he set out to complete resolve those questions, or will he think it doesn't matter because his father died over 200 years ago?

**Sesshomaru & Inuyasha: Kyoudai in Kōtetsu  
Sesshomaru & Inuyasha: Brothers in Arms**

**章****11 - ****だの皆無よりザ事実****  
Sh****ō**** 13 - Dano Kaimu Yori Za Jijitsu  
Chapter 13 - And Nothing But the Truth**

Having stayed at his brother's camp for three additional days after they had talked, it was now the fourth day and Inuyasha had returned to his village last night and brought Rin back earlier that morning with the intention of taking her to Sango's in a day or two. Despite the fact that Sesshomaru had told him it wasn't necessary, since he was capable of making the trip to the village a lot quicker than he could, Inuyasha had insisted; said he'd promised Rin that he'd bring her to him and didn't want to break that promise.

In actuality, though, as much as he hated doing it, Inuyasha wanted to think; he needed to. He'd had that conversation with Sesshomaru, and a lot of things had been revealed. He couldn't exactly say he and Sesshomaru were friends, but it did seem like they had made peace, at least for now, anyway. He knew considerably more about his brother than he did before; most of which, though, he didn't understand. Like why had Sesshomaru admitted that he had considered killing their oyaji? He remembered his mother had told him that youkai didn't necessarily love; that they lived a life based more on rules and obligations. He couldn't believe Sesshomaru would follow anyone's rules, though, except his own; but then he wondered if any of those rules youkai followed, were Sesshomaru's rules. He was the lord of the western lands after all; so he could change whatever rule he wanted to, couldn't he?

Inuyasha assumed though, Sesshomaru's reasons for wanting to kill their oyaji, probably wasn't as simple as hate. He was certain his brother didn't hate their oyaji the way he'd always seemed to hate him, it was simply a matter of things being done differently in the youkai world than the world he kind of grew up in. He couldn't exactly say he had grown up in the youkai or the human world, because he hadn't really grown up in either. He'd grown up in ditches, caves and trees after his mother had died; neither of which he could exactly call home.

Now, Sesshomaru and Inuyasha watched as Rin bathed Ah-Un in the stream. She had been doing that for nearly an hour already, but looked to be finally finishing up. Inuyasha assumed she'd extended the process because she'd really missed the damned thing.

Though he didn't particularly enjoy her presence, Jaken was delighted that Rin was available to bathe the dragon; a task he had taken up since the foolish girl's departure and one he didn't specifically enjoy. But lately there seemed to be a lot of things happening that he didn't enjoy; like why his master would let that foolish hanyou stay with him after what he'd done; and then to allow that idiot to bring that silly girl back. But as much as he might hate it, the little youkai began to realize that things would never be as they once were. Before, it was just Lord Sesshomaru and him who would travel the lands together; but did his lord truly intend to include that hanyou in their travels as well?

Watching Rin with so much giddiness in her eyes, coupled with her exuberant smile, Inuyasha realized she probably felt like she was back home; something he'd never had. He had to admit, she even looked like she was. He recalled her reaction when she'd initially ran into the camp and saw Sesshomaru for the first time in nearly a month.

"Lord Sesshomaru," she had squealed in delight, then stopped dead in her tracks with a worried look covering her face. "Are you sick my lord?"

Sesshomaru had eyed her curiously. "I am quite well Rin, why do you ask that?"

"You..., you look... different," the kid had said hesitantly. "Like you did when Inuyasha was sick."

Sesshomaru wasn't the type of youkai to smile, but for a second or two, Inuyasha could have sworn he'd almost seen a flash of one in his eyes as he apparently understood her concerns. "I have simply removed my mokomoko and my haramaki. I will likely not require them again until I return to patrol."

It wasn't until that minute, that Inuyasha had realized he probably should have warned her. Sesshomaru hadn't worn all that extra gear in quite some time. But it had never occurred to him that she wouldn't be used to seeing him like that. Little brat probably wasn't kidding when she said she was worried about him. Inuyasha couldn't help but wonder how she'd managed to build such a loving and trusting relationship with his brother but he refused to allow himself to get jealous of that. It had been a long time of fighting and hatred, but both him and Sesshomaru were trying now, weren't they?

Having finished bathing the dragon, Rin moved further up stream with Jaken so they could go fishing. Turning his head toward his brother now as he stood off in the distance; Inuyasha wondered what he was thinking about. They hadn't really spoken for most of the day; Sesshomaru seemed to be weighing something heavily. Inuyasha couldn't tell if his thoughts were good or bad, he got no clues from his brother's facial expression. He did note, however, that Sesshomaru seemed to like spending his time thinking; something he never liked doing. Was he wondering why he had let the hanyou stay in his camp again? Was he wondering why he had told him the things he had?

_Stop it,_ Inuyasha yelled in his head. Why was he thinking such craziness? That's why he hated thinking. His head was always going off in some stupid direction. Sesshomaru had answered every question he'd put to him, with little to no hesitation. So why was he sitting here worried that he wasn't speaking to him today. He wasn't speaking to Rin or Jaken either, and they didn't seem to mind. But him, he was different. He wasn't part of their group; never had been. There was a chance that Sesshomaru was wondering why he was being bothered with the hanyou.

Inuyasha had to admit, even if reluctantly, that he was glad Sesshomaru would be gone in a couple of weeks. At least then, things would be able to settle back to normal for him. He'd been spending too much time around the youkai lord, lately anyway.

But what was normal? He couldn't say he'd ever had any normalcy in his life. But at least since Sesshomaru would probably leave Rin behind, he could occupy himself with training her. Doing that would at least help keep away this loneliness he'd been feeling lately. He'd probably even get to spend time with Miroku and Sango, that is, if Sango felt she could spare the time to help train the kid.

Inuyasha, though, couldn't stop his head from wondering what it would be like to actually travel with Sesshomaru, and wondered if he should. But since the youkai lord hadn't actually asked him to, he figured for his own sanity, he might as well not even worry about it.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

Sesshomaru was displeased with the thoughts that crowded his head lately. They had been spinning out of control for four days now; ever since he'd had that talk with the hanyou. The youkai lord knew he could no longer push them aside. He had to determine what the true issues were, and he needed to determine how he should resolve them.

Before, it had always been easier to blame the hanyou and his okaa-san, than himself; was he now blaming his haha-ue because he could not accept his own guilt? No, he possessed no guilt in this matter; but he accepted his knowledge of the fact that his chichi-ue had been wounded and he had not accompanied him; had not even cared to. But the fault now, indeed seemed to point to his haha-ue. The youkai lord knew though, he could not show her the dishonor he had shown the hanyou for so many years. He could not dispense punishment without knowing for certain.

He understood that his chichi-ue's death went beyond the fact that his son had not assisted him. He was certain he could have transformed and escaped the crumbling castle, fire or not. But for whatever reason, he had chosen not to. Had he been so mortally wounded by the time the castle collapsed that he did not have the strength? No, his transformation would have instinctively kicked in. It was a simple matter of survival - an inherent ability inbred in every youkai; the desire to survive. Had is own kyuu shou abilities not spirited him away after his left arm had been severed by the hanyou? His chichi-ue was a powerful daiyoukai; capable of withstanding a great deal of punishment. Unless there was something he did not understand, Sesshomaru knew his transformation should have been instinctive and he would have suffered no more than minor burns of his fur, had he transformed. There had been no need for his death at that time.

But even with that acknowledgement, the youkai lord was still haunted by another question. Why would his chichi-ue want to die? What was it that he was missing? He had taken far too many preparatory steps prior to his death for it to have been completely unplanned or unexpected. His acts were far more deliberate than just the possibility of death during that battle; it appeared closer to his acceptance of it. The steps he had taken were well planned indeed; from the kekkai he had placed on the Tetsusaiga, to the delivery of his own Tenseiga, to the disappearance of Sou'unga even to the very concealment of the gateway to his tomb in the hanyou's right eye; to giving his haha-ue the meidou stone; a stone that in itself could have saved his life. Sesshomaru knew that his chichi-ue had not done those things by pure chance, or even alone. Toutousai had already informed him that his chichi-ue had told him to pass the Tenseiga to him.

If his chichi-ue had been so concerned about the hanyou's life, why had he not lived and protected him, himself? Because he knew, this Sesshomaru would eventually take his life with his own hands. Yes, it was his right, but it was not his obligation. He had not left him Sou'unga because of the evil nature of that sword; and that was not what he wanted for his first born. Tenseiga; it was only through using that sword, that his heart had any chance of evolving.

But had he consulted a sorceress? Toutousai had sad nothing to that effect. Was he hiding more information from him; or did he simply not know? What about that annoying little flea, Myoga. He had accompanied his chichi-ue to that castle; had he been there when he died? Probably not; that little insect was afraid of his own shadow; probably abandoned him before the battle had even begun.

His chichi-ue had many loyal servants, though, and they had each fulfilled their roles as he had desired. Sesshomaru was fully aware that he just had to determine which one would have the answers he sought. But that was not as easy as it sounded. He knew if anyone knew the answers to the questions he sought it would be her, his haha-ue; but he could not ask her; he could never ask her; because he was certain she had a lot more to do with his chichi-ue's death than he would want to hear her admit.

But what should he do about those persistent questions? What should he do about his haha-ue? If she truly were responsible for the death of the former lord of the western lands, should he take her life? Or should he simply remove her from her rule? But to simply remove her from her rule was no form of punishment at all. She _wanted_ him to rule, but he would not. Her only punishment would have to be through execution of the law. But in this essentially lawless society, there was only one law: death. To take her life, was something he was uncertain he could do. He realized he was in an awkward position; she was his haha-ue; but to allow her to go unpunished would cause any youkai that found out, to believe that he cared; to believe that he had gone soft. It was not that he feared what other youkai might think; he feared what he himself would think. These changes in his heart had caused considerable doubt and uncertainty of late and that was not acceptable.

Unlike with his chichi-ue, he did not by birth or in any other form have a right to simply fight her to the death. To do that, would prove nothing; and he had no proof that she had even done what he believed she had done. But he knew she had. No one else would have had a stake in this the way she would. If she had at least fought him to the death, that at least might have been deemed honorable, but to simply set her former mate up to be ambushed by a human army, that was beneath the status of the lady of the western lands. But Sesshomaru knew he was the true lord of these lands, and that made him also the law. How could he execute such a law over his haha-ue?

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

The daylight began to wane, and Sesshomaru moved inland to light the fire over the twigs Jaken had gathered so Rin could cook the fish she'd caught, in addition to her having some form of warmth as the night began to chill.

Inuyasha had been surprised to find that she was such a good fisherman. She had caught eight pieces of fish, while Jaken had caught only two. He began to understand now why Sesshomaru would send the little imp out on those fishing trips. He obviously had a pretty good idea how long it would take the little pipsqueak to catch the number of fish he told him to catch. This way, he could get rid of him for a specified length of time.

Instead of taking his customary seat at the base of the tree, Sesshomaru strolled a slight distance away and focused his gaze across the horizon again. Inuyasha realized his brother had spent the entire day, off to himself, doing exactly that-thinking. Though he tried not to, he couldn't help but wonder whether it was because of him. Even though Sesshomaru seemed clearly lost in thought he was positive the youkai lord knew everything that was going on around him; like the fact that the hanyou was still in his camp.

Rin took up the task of cooking the fish and Inuyasha and Jaken sat around waiting until it was ready. Despite the fact that he was so little and had only caught two pieces, Jaken ate three, Rin ate two and Inuyasha ate the remainder.

Several hours after the sun had set and they had all eaten, and Rin had caught up on all the news, she and Jaken nestled against the side of Sesshomaru's tree to get some sleep. Inuyasha stretched out on the ground beside them with his head resting on folded arms.

"Inuyasha," Rin began in a soft whisper, turning to study him; her tiny face mere inches from his. "I'm so glad that you're staying with Lord Sesshomaru now."

"I'm not exactly staying with him," Inuyasha blinked as he corrected her, despite the knowledge that he'd been with his brother for four days already. "I'm just here for now," he said, realizing that he too was whispering and wondering why. He certainly wasn't concerned about disturbing that little imp.

Rin rose to her knees and looked down into his eyes. "Aren't you going to travel with him?"

"I don't think so."

"Why not?"

"Sesshomaru doesn't want me following him around."

"Did he say that?"

"Sesshomaru doesn't talk a whole lot. You should know that."

"That's because he only talks when he has something important to say," Rin insisted with a bright smile. "If he didn't say he didn't want you around, it's because he does. Lord Sesshomaru didn't tell Rin he wanted her around, but he didn't tell her he didn't want her either. So I know he does."

Inuyasha issued a soft chuckle as he looked into her wide bright eyes. It was obvious she believed what she was talking about; but clearly she didn't understand there was a difference between her and him. "You got that a little twisted up, don't you kid?" he asked, briefly diverting his attention to the youkai lord. "If he did want me around, that's kind of important, don't you think? So then he shouldn't just make me guess."

"But he didn't say he didn't want you around, so you don't have to guess about that. My big brother used to make me so mad because he used to tell me to get lost all the time when he didn't want me around; now," Rin's eyes took on a sullen, withdrawn look as she lowered her gaze to the ground. "I wish he was here to do that."

"I'm sorry," Inuyasha said, reaching out and rubbing his hand briskly through her hair, remembering Sesshomaru had told him her family had been killed by bandits. "I wish he was here for you, too."

Rin was quiet for a few moments until, "Inuyasha," she began quietly once more, as she slowly traced her fingers along the side of his face. "You and Lord Sesshomaru are friends now, aren't you? You don't hate him anymore, do you? You won't be fighting with him anymore, will you?"

Inuyasha's eyes widened. He wasn't sure how to answer that. Why was she dumping this crap in his lap? Studying her as her fingers made their way slowly along his face now; he realized something he hadn't realized before. She was a conniving little brat. When she'd asked him to bring her to see Sesshomaru, she had probably already known they had fought. Even though he hadn't said anything about those scars on his face, she'd probably figured it out the moment she saw them. Asking him to bring her to Sesshomaru, was probably just her way of making sure he made peace with his brother. He didn't think they'd be fighting anymore, but he didn't think they were friends, now, either. "Well, for now, I don't think we have anything to fight about," Inuyasha replied, making every effort to hold his temper. Sure, she was sweet, but that kid really had a way of jerking his bad side. Why would she just assume he was the bad guy? Why not Sesshomaru?

"That's good," Rin said with a bright smile, as she wrapped his neck with a tight grip, then stretched out on the ground atop the spongy grass at the base of the tree preparing to go to sleep. "You two are brothers; and brothers shouldn't fight. If you fight, then you'll just be sad and unhappy," she said as she flipped to her side. "I don't want you or Lord Sesshomaru to be unhappy."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"Chichi-ue what do you want me to do?" Sesshomaru called out silently to his father. "With all the planning you did, you had to know I would come to this point. So why did you leave this in my hands?"

There were so many why's for which he had no answers. Starting with why his chichi-ue had even chosen a human female with whom to mate.

Is that why his haha-ue had done what he believed she had done? Because chichi-ue had mated with a human female? Sesshomaru knew his haha-ue hated humans even more than he did; while his chichi-ue on the other hand had always had a "merciful heart for humankind". His goal as lord of these lands was to ensure that both youkai and humans lived together in peace. Had she simply been unable to face the fact that her former mate had left her and then mated with a human?

But why had his chichi-ue done that? Was it for the express purpose of producing a hanyou heir to bequeath his sword to? It certainly wasn't because he needed an heir to his lands. That land passed to him by rights of being the first born. A male youkai might well mate for the purpose of ruling and siring an heir like his chichi-ue had done, but unlike what he did with his sword, he could never supplant the heirs of the original land owners. Even if the land had originated through his chichi-ue's clan, rulership of land rights still would have passed to the first born. Nothing could change that. If and when he, Sesshomaru, was ever ready to sire an heir; then he would simply seek out the most suitable female youkai from one of the western clans under his control for that purpose. Why had his chichi-ue not done the same? There was no need for him to choose a human female; there were more than sufficient youkai females who would have willingly given themselves to the lord of the western lands. If he truly had a desire to experience a human female, why had he not simply secured a yūjo in Yoshiwara. He would have had no need to become her protector if he had.

Sesshomaru did not know what his chichi-ue's ultimate goal was. He did not know what his chichi-ue had felt for the hanyou's okaa-san, but even though he may now understand the ultimate after effects of what his chichi-ue had done, he still did not fully understand the why.

Would he always believe that he had died a dishonorable death displaying his weakness, by allowing himself to be killed in such a manner? He did not know. His chichi-ue had left his haha-ue at least 250 years before his death. He'd come back and taken him with him about 10 years after that. A time when he, himself, was even younger than the hanyou is now. They had gone on patrol together for quite some time; that was until he decided he wanted to pursue his path as a conqueror and set off on his own.

Was that when his chichi-ue had decided he wanted a hanyou heir? No, his chichi-ue was not the type to sit on a decision he'd made for so long. They had parted ways at least 45 years before his death. The human female had likely not yet been born. When he'd seen her for the first time a few months before his chichi-ue had died, she was no more than a mere girl. Had his chichi-ue mated with the hanyou's okaa-san and sired an heir through her specifically to incite his haha-ue? He had never spoken of why he had left, and Sesshomaru had never asked. It had never interested him. But he had said something when he'd come to take him.

"If you got a brain in your head boy, you won't go back in that castle again. Your haha will turn you into a kuishin...; (mumble mumble) if she has her way. Acts like she doesn't even know the (mumble mumble). And the thing is it changed a long time before (mumble mumble). At any rate, I might not be there to help get you out next time."

What had his chichi-ue said then? Kuishin, kuishin what? What did his haha-ue act like she did not know? Why could he not remember those words? Was it because his chichi-ue was so busy pulling him by the ear and all he had concentrated on, was the discomfort? Turn him into what? What was his chichi-ue so afraid would happen to him? He had never been afraid of anything; so what was he afraid of then? If he could only remember those words, Sesshomaru was certain he would know why his chichi-ue had done the things he did.

For now, though, he had to let this go. There was nothing he could do to resolve this issue today. But when he went on patrol in less than two weeks; he would talk to every youkai his chichi-ue would have known and he would find the answers he sought.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

Unhappy? Glad that kid was finally going to sleep, Inuyasha turned his head to study the youkai lord. How could he possibly be any more unhappy than he already was. He had been unhappy for most of his life. The only time he had periods when he wasn't, was when his mother lived, and perhaps when Kikyo lived. But other than that, unhappiness filled his life. Even when he had friends, he wasn't happy because there was always Naraku. But was he so unhappy now, that he would want to spend any more time than absolutely necessary with his brother?

Unhappy! Something suddenly twisted in the pit of his stomach. But would he really be unhappy if he stayed with Sesshomaru? He'd been doing that for the past few days and he wasn't more unhappy than he used to be, was he? This was his life; always had been. But things were different now, weren't they? Or were they? Did he want to stay with Sesshomaru? How could he possibly long for something he never had?

His brother's gaze was still locked in the distance, but Inuyasha was certain Sesshomaru had heard every word Rin had said, despite not showing any signs of it. What was he thinking about that kept him so preoccupied all day? Looking at him now, Inuyasha was fully aware that even though he had learned a few things about his older brother, there was still a lot he didn't know.

Almost as if hearing his thoughts, Sesshomaru turned and strolled toward him, then took his seat in his customary spot at the base of the largest tree where Rin and Jaken had made their beds; his back just barely touching it. With Inuyasha positioned where he was on his back, his head was well within kicking distance of Sesshomaru's boot. He thought about how he would have been worried about that just last week, but now; he didn't seem to mind.

"Are you all right?"

"Yes, why do you ask?"

"You just seemed a little preoccupied today. Like you were concerned about something."

"Just an issue I must decide how best to resolve."

"Have you decided?"

"No. I must first obtain additional information."

Inuyasha decided he might as well just let it go. Whatever issue had absorbed his brother's thoughts for most of the day, wasn't his concern. But his thoughts suddenly did wander to something he'd been curious about for a while now. "Sesshomaru," he began as he turned and perched himself on an elbow and stared into the fire, angling his head slightly toward the youkai lord. "You told me once that you'd lost someone because of Naraku."

"Yes," Sesshomaru responded, turning his head to study the young hanyou with curiosity.

"Who was it?" Inuyasha shifted his head to study him as well.

"Why do you ask?" Before he had held no interest, had that now changed, or was he simply attempting to make idle chatter.

"I've been thinking that I know so little about you."

"So you have an interest in knowing your elder brother?" that was encouraging.

"I guess, I mean you know so much about me..."

"And you feel you wish to know me?"

"I'd like to," Inuyasha said slightly flustered as he turned slightly. He didn't want to sound like he was aching to wrap himself in his brother's love. For now, though, he did want to understand him better; that was probably the only way they'd really be able to get past their differences.

"Then you will probably be surprised to find it was someone you knew."

"Someone _I_ knew?"

Sesshomaru's thoughts drifted back to the recent past as he turned his head to focus his gaze on Rin. It wasn't until she had told him that Kagura might be lonely that he'd even considered what her life might be like trapped under Naraku's control. Her life; Kagura had actually had no life. She had been created by Naraku to do his bidding; but as soon as he had found out she did not wish to follow his commands, he had taken what little life she had.

He could not help but wonder if he had not be so intent upon obtaining the Tetsusaiga and simply taken Naraku's life instead of forming a pact with him, whether Kagura would be alive today?

But did it truly matter? It may well be best that she was gone. He could not have a female youkai traveling with him the way Rin and Jaken did. That would lead his life down a path he did not wish to travel. But no, he should not discount the changes in his heart so readily. It was only because of his regret over Kagura's death that Toutousai had believed he had evolved enough to convert his Tenseiga to a killing sword.

Evolved? There was a time when he would not have considered the changes in his heart an evolution. He had never believed a change in him was required. But he could not discount the fact that her death had caused him sorrow. He may not have loved Kagura, the way Inuyasha had loved that miko, but he had felt a kinship of sorts. He now believed the changes he'd undergone had something to do with why he was now so preoccupied with the issues surrounding his chichi-ue's death.

Nevertheless, would he have ever gotten accustomed to the idea of a female youkai in his life? His life had changed so much in the past years. Was he not proposing to have it change once more by befriending the hanyou? Would it have been such a disastrous thing to have a female youkai in his life as well? Yes. It would have. Every youkai seeking prestige would try to get to him through her. If he had try considered taking her into his life, it would not matter if he loved her or not, it would be his obligation to protect her. He would never allow some meager youkai to get the better of him in such a manner. It was bad enough that Naraku had tried to use Rin in such a manner.

Sesshomaru knew his life may well change in any number of ways in the future, especially if he took on the hanyou; but he was not seeking a mate. He refused to allow his heart to change so much that he would ever wish to seek a mate. He may well be obligated to do it one day in an effort to sire an heir; but he would never love; ever. Love was nothing more than a weakness. He would never be weak. Feelings of love and mercy were emotions for humans and hanyous; those who could not stand on their own accord; it was not required for full blooded youkai; certainly not required by a powerful daiyoukai such as himself.

"Despite what I said, do not mistake me, Inuyasha," Sesshomaru focused his attention on him fully now. "Unlike you, I was not in love, but I did form an attachment that I had never previously formed."

"Are you saying that 'cause you think I wouldn't believe you could care for anyone anyway?"

"I am saying that because I do not want you to be misled."

"Well who was she? I know you wouldn't care for a human woman and even though Naraku killed a couple of female youkai that I knew about, the only youkai that ..."

"Wind sorceress, Kagura," Sesshomaru supplied the elusive answer.

"Kagura? You cared for Kagura?" Inuyasha bolted upright. "Why? How?"

"Why? How?" Sesshomaru tilted his head slightly, as he faced the stunned hanyou with a narrowed gaze; focusing on the pair of large bright eyes glaring from the campfire. "Should I ask you why and how you actually fell in love with that human priestess?"

"I just meant," Inuyasha hesitated. Shit, why was he always saying the wrong thing in front of this youkai? Nothing ever got past Sesshomaru. "I mean I didn't even know you really knew her."

"Because of our mutual objective to defeat Naraku, we have spent much time around the same people."

"So that's why you were there when she died," Inuyasha stated remembering the day Kagura was killed by Naraku; by the time he had trailed her scent, she had already died in that field and Sesshomaru was there. "But you didn't save her with Tenseiga?" It was a statement, but came out sounding more questioning.

Remembering that, Sesshomaru closed his eyes for a brief moment as he felt a gentle breeze kiss the side of his face. "Like when Tenseiga would not save you. It could not save her."

Inuyasha wasn't sure what it meant when he thought he'd seen a glassiness flash in Sesshomaru's eyes, but he assumed it was probably just the glow from the firelight. "I'm sorry, I didn't know. That must've been hard," he stated absently.

"What is that?"

"To watch someone you care for die, and be unable to do anything to stop it." Inuyasha remembered how he had felt when Kikyou died in his arms. "I guess we have more in common than I thought."

Sesshomaru studied the young hanyou knowing full well what thoughts crowded his mind. The expression covering his face told of a sadness Sesshomaru had never known and he wondered if for this reason, the differences in their hearts, if nothing else, they would forever be estranged.

"Have you ever thought about what could have happened if Naraku hadn't killed her?"

"I do not generally speculate about things over which I have no control, or can do nothing about," Sesshomaru said, wondering if those persistent thoughts he'd had all day, belied his words. But he knew they had not, because he knew he would take action one way or the other once he found out what he needed to know.

"Yeah, but what if Tenseiga had saved her?"

"It did not."

"I know, but if...?"

"Do not do that Inuyasha; there is no point," Sesshomaru said with a slight exasperated breath; a pair of cold golden eyes directed toward the hanyou as he refused to allow his heart to guide the conversation. Perhaps the hanyou now understood that he had changed in some way, but he would not allow him to assume that he had changed to such an extreme. "You told me once that you were not me and would never be me. You need to understand that I am also not you. I am a warrior. I do not spend time contemplating matters of the heart."

Inuyasha studied him, his eyes wide and speculative; he didn't know if he felt more sorry for Sesshomaru or for himself; his brother who couldn't or wouldn't love; or himself, who had loved once, maybe even twice and had lost them both and spent most of his time thinking about what could have been.

Stretching out along the grass once more, Inuyasha tried to wipe that thought from his head. He would always remember and think about Kikyo, he knew that; but he really hated thinking about that last day; it was too painful. In fact, he never really liked thinking about Kikyo at all after she'd been resurrected by that witch Urasue. He preferred to think of their times together before she had sealed him.

"Sesshomaru," Inuyasha began after a while as he looked up at the blackened sky, his arms folded under his head. "I've been thinking that it would probably be best if I left Rin with you instead of taking her back to the village tomorrow. Then, I can go talk to Sango about training her in the morning. If she's okay with it, I could probably take Rin there tomorrow evening. If not tomorrow evening, then maybe the day after. She's a lot closer to here than the village, since her home is in the other direction."

Sesshomaru turned to study him. "So you will take her to the slayer?" he asked, sounding slightly surprised. "You will not train her, yourself?"

"It's just that Sango might be better," Inuyasha said sheepishly. He could hear the surprise in Sesshomaru's voice and he wondered if he wasn't also slightly angry. He certainly didn't seem too pleased with his decision. "She knows the human body better than I do and would probably know what the kid can handle a lot better than I would."

"Rin is very adept. I am certain you would be more than adequate in determining what she is capable of handling," Sesshomaru said, not willing to let the subject die so readily. "I will be going on patrol shortly and will be gone for at least six months. Why do you not accompany me? You can train Rin as we travel."

"Go on patrol? With you?" Inuyasha was stunned as he twisted around to stare at the youkai lord. Sesshomaru had said something like that a couple of days ago, but Inuyasha was caught off guard to hear him say that again now. He had not really expected to be asked. "I don't know if that's such a good idea." Surely Sesshomaru didn't really want him to accompany him. This was probably just his way of making sure he got Rin back, wasn't it?

"And why is that?"

"Well, wouldn't it be better to have Rin trained here," Inuyasha searched hard for a reason to turn him down. He was still too uncertain about his brother's true objectives, let alone any reason why he would want him to tag along with him for half a year. "Then when you come back, she'll be all ready for you."

"You do not wish to accompany me?" Sesshomaru asked pointedly.

"I just think it would be better if I didn't."

"And why so?"

The air fell silent as Inuyasha tried to figure out what to say now. He couldn't exactly say he was afraid of his brother, but neither could he say he trusted him enough to travel with him. "Well for one thing, I told Kaede-babaa I'd have her back in a couple of days and it wouldn't be right to just keep her without letting her know."

"Then instead of going to the slayer, go to the miko and tell her of the change," Sesshomaru offered as a solution, not understanding the hanyou's hesitancy. Was he still reluctant to trust him, if so, he wondered how or if he would ever be able to correct his past wrongs to him. "And then you can accompany me when you return."

"I don't know," Inuyasha dawdled. "I've been hanging around for the past couple of days as it is. You don't want to be bothered with me for any longer than necessary; would you?"

"I would not have asked if I did not wish it to be," Sesshomaru said diverting his gaze toward him. "I will not leave for nearly two weeks. Why do you not consider it for that time, then tell me your decision?"

"Maybe," Inuyasha said, pretty sure there wasn't any chance in hell he could do anything as crazy as that. Sesshomaru himself had admitted he'd considered killing their oyaji. Sure, he'd said it was his right, but what would he do if this hanyou got on his nerve? He had to know he couldn't just send him for fish. "But I don't think it's going to matter. That village is my home. I'm not sure I want to leave."

Sesshomaru studied him with an intense golden gaze. "So you are saying that you are content to waste away in that human village?"

Shrugging uncomfortably, Inuyasha bent his knees upward as he frowned up at the sky. "It's the only place that means anything to me," he said, thinking back on his long historical ties to that village, but he knew he hadn't really answered Sesshomaru's question. He decided to add; "No reason to do anything different."

"I see." Sesshomaru said as another stretch of throbbing silence settled between them, this one far more foreboding and uncomfortable than the last.

Inuyasha heard Sesshomaru's movements above his head; surprisingly, he didn't jump in panic. He reflected on the fact that it wasn't long ago that he would have immediately reached for his Tetsusaiga and asked questions later; then realized, hell there wouldn't have been a whole lot of asking anything, they would have just simply fought.

After a moment or two, Sesshomaru spoke again. "What would provide an adequate reason?"

Inuyasha blinked, arching his neck so he could see his brother's face a little clearer. Sesshomaru's gaze was intently focused on him. He felt his heart thudding slightly, as he looked up into those determined golden eyes. "Well, if you were off to battle, that would be one thing. I only left one time before, and that was so I could fight Naraku. Does that tell you anything?"

Sesshomaru issued a light grunt. "That you are positively suicidal," he replied evenly.

Stretching out his arm in a yawn, Inuyasha accidentally punched the youkai lord's thigh.

Sesshomaru tugged on his ear. "And you are far too reactive," he added placidly.

"Reactive? Shit, look who's talking," Inuyasha griped, swatting at the clawed hand that was yanking on his ear. Pinching Sesshomaru's leg, he shifted to lay down again but was immediately grabbed by the back of the neck, a bit roughly to say the least. "Oh you're asking for it now." He yelled, catching the youkai lord off guard as he quickly rolled toward him, pushing him to his side in the grass. A small scuffle immediately ensued, surprisingly lacking in destruction and bloodshed. For the first time in their lives, they were simply two brothers tussling playfully as they fought for the upper hand, which Sesshomaru easily obtained, rolling him over and pinning him beneath his larger body as he lay across his chest.

With his hair fanned wildly around his head, Inuyasha stared up at his brother, as he emitted short, ragged breaths. "Why. . ." he began choppily, "did you not simply say you would battle me?"

Sesshomaru didn't immediately respond; instead he simply gazed down at him, his breath gusting softly across Inuyasha's face. He allowed his vision to slide across the shadows of his own body created by the light of the campfire that covered the hanyou before leaning in, inhaling his scent as if in confirmation of something.

Shifting uncomfortably, Inuyasha simply stared at him in confusion, uncertain about what was happening, but unwilling to overreact. Whining softly in utter bewilderment as Sesshomaru's head rose and settled mere inches away from his face; Inuyasha felt the warmth of his breath.

"I have no need to battle you. Though I had tasted it when I healed you, I can now freely say your humanity is as much a part of you as your youkai side, and I no longer find it offensive," Sesshomaru declared finally, his voice sounding deeply throaty only inches away from Inuyasha's ear. Though the youkai lord still hoped the hanyou would show more pride in his youkai blood.

Raising his head as he braced his weight on his forearms, the youkai lord locked eyes with his younger brother. "The Tetsusaiga is truly yours and," he paused slightly as he continued to peer down at him. "And as you said, you were merely a pup, so how could I possibly hold you responsible for our chichi-ue's death. But in truth, I never thought you were, Inuyasha. So why would I wish to kill you?" Sesshomaru said, recounting the issues the hanyou had raised during their talk, knowing it was up to him to try to make this right.

"I- I-" Realizing nothing intelligible was coming out of his mouth, Inuyasha was mortified as he bit down on his lip then squeezed his eyes shut; quickly whipping his head to the side, hopefully before that wet sting could betray the overwhelming elation threatening to burst forth through his chest.

He had never thought he would hear those words. Ever. Not if he lived another 1,000 years. Why would he say that? He didn't care what Sesshomaru thought. But he knew. He knew that for so long, he had tried to pretend it didn't really matter. But he knew it did; always had.

Finally, after they'd settled back, Inuyasha spoke up. "Sesshomaru," he began without looking at his brother. "Did you get along with our oyaji?"

"Get along?"

"Yeah, were you two friends, did you like him or did you fight with him the way we used to fight?"

"He was chichi-ue, the only male youkai I ever respected," Sesshomaru confessed, finding it easier to reveal things to the hanyou that he had never previously revealed to anyone. He realized, though, that was because he had never truly talked to anyone. There were things he could still never divulge but the hanyou had a tendency to ask question he had never been asked; and he knew he had to be open with him if he truly intended to fulfill his chichi-ue's desire. "I had no gripe with him, so there was no need to fight."

"So would you have really killed him?"

The youkai lord turned to study him. "It was my right."

"I know, you said that," Inuyasha said thoughtfully. "But would you have killed him?"

"As you said before, there was no guarantee that he would not have killed me."

"I know that, but would you have killed him?" Inuyasha looked at him finally.

Sesshomaru studied him for a long time before responding again. The hanyou's eyes were largely inquisitive; his lips tightly determined. It was clear the question was important to him. Sesshomaru knew he would have to be honest with him and himself as well, as he considered what his answer would be.

His chichi-ue had lived a long time, if he had survived that battle, would he have killed him when he was fully healed. He had resisted doing it that night because his chichi-ue had been wounded. He had resisted doing it for several weeks before that night as well. His chichi-ue deserved his respect when he entered into battle with him. He had never loved anyone, but his chichi-ue was the only person to have ever captured any part of his heart in such a manner. He knew that today because of his recent changes, he would not, but he knew the hanyou's question pertained to then. His goal then, was to prove himself as a powerful youkai warrior; his chichi-ue would have been an extremely honorable notch on his obi. To be able to take his life would have proven his own value. "Yes," Sesshomaru responded. "I would have killed him."

"Oh," Inuyasha said and rolled to his side, his head only inches from Sesshomaru's knee. And that was that.

Soothed by the quietness of the night, Inuyasha listened to the gentle crackling of the flames; then relaxed to the swirling scent of smoke and the comforting knowledge of Sesshomaru's strength surrounding him. He felt himself slipping slowly into a warm slumber. But before he was able to slip completely into oblivion, he thought he felt the gentle touch of light claw strokes settle against his hair for the briefest of moments, before finally drifting away.

And then, it was gone.

Sesshomaru studied him, he felt an unrecognizable warmth flow through him, in the knowledge that his little brother had settled so comfortably beside him. He hoped it was an indication that the hanyou was at last, finally beginning to truly trust him. But Sesshomaru remained uncertain. He had never previously been involved in such uncertainties. He wanted to reach out, to assure the hanyou that he no longer hated him, to assure him that he was indeed changing, but did it matter? Had he even changed enough to warrant such an attempt? He knew not, but he did hope the hanyou would accept his offer to accompany him.

**A/N: So what happens now? Will Sesshomaru find the truth behind his chichi-ue's death? Will it take another 200 years? I certainly hope not, because even though I love him, I have no plans of sticking around to cover the next 200 years of his life. By the way, he couldn't seriously be considering taking his haha-ue's life, could he? I thought his heart was supposed to be growing.**

**chichi-ue - (father)  
haha - (mother)  
haha-ue - (mother)  
hanyou - (half breed)  
haramaki - (armor)  
kekkai - (magical spell)  
Kuishin - (gluttonous)  
kyuu shou - (flying flight sphere, ball, orb – Sessy's ball energy)  
okaa-san - (mother)  
Shikon no Tama - (Sacred jewel of four souls)  
Yoshiwara - (red-light district) in Edo (where the anime takes place) present-day Tōkyō, Japan.  
youkai - (demon)  
yūjo - (women of pleasure)**


	14. Chapter 14 Kaede Babaa

**A/N:**** Well, last time Sesshomaru actually told Inuyasha that he didn't hold him responsible for their father's death. Was Inuyasha delighted ti hear that? Does he now like his older brother better, or is he still worried about his motives, if he is, what does he need to hear?**

**Sesshomaru & Inuyasha: Kyoudai in Kōtetsu  
Sesshomaru & Inuyasha: Brothers in Arms**

Shō 14 - Kaede-Babaa  
Chapter 14-Kaede-Babaa

It was early morning, when Inuyasha left Sesshomaru's camp with the intent of going to Sango's to ask if she'd be willing to train Rin. In the back of his mind, though, he also wanted to see if he could find out what had happened between her and Sesshomaru. He didn't know what it was, really; but he knew it had to be something. Sesshomaru didn't seem like he even wanted her to train Rin anymore.

iI will require you to watch her closely./i

What was that about? Did he mean Rin or Sango? Inuyasha wasn't sure, when he had asked about it, Sesshomaru had simply said he did not want anything to happen to Rin; but something told him he actually meant Sango because that youkai had to know he wouldn't let anything happen to that kid. Hell, he'd almost gotten himself killed, trying to save her, didn't he? But why would Sesshomaru want him to watch Sango? Did he really think she would hurt Rin?

Sighing out of frustration, Inuyasha decided it was senseless for him to worry about it now. Those were the kinds of things he could honestly say he didn't like about Sesshomaru. The way he would simply act like the hanyou was just too stupid to waste his precious time being open and honest with. If he really did have a problem with Sango, why didn't he just tell him? But he knew he'd only be able to find out what had happened, if anything, when he spoke to Sango. That is, unless she decided she wanted to be as closed mouth as that youkai was. At any rate, he was certain he'd find out one way or the other, soon enough. He'd be at Miroku's and Sango's place before long.

Though he didn't really want it to, Inuyasha's thoughts immediately shifted to everything that had happened since Naraku's death; something he seemed to focus on a lot lately. He knew he was on his way to see friends who were getting ready to start a family. They would be a blatant reminder that his life was going absolutely nowhere, while they would soon be husband and wife; they would have a home, and kids even . . . ; all those things that normally happened for humans would soon be happening for them; while nothing at all was happening in his life. Even Sesshomaru, the lord of the western lands, had done what he needed to do in his life by expanding his territory and growing stronger than anyone could possibly need to be.

Inuyasha, though, just couldn't imagine why Sesshomaru didn't already have his empire yet. He also wondered why he didn't want to rule yet; why did he let his mother do that. Could it possibly be because he preferred the outdoors - fighting and killing other youkai - to being inside a castle? But he reasoned Sesshomaru's choices shouldn't matter to him. He needed to worry about his own uselessness. Without a doubt, he was definitely being left behind.

But that didn't matter half as much as all that weird shit that happened last night. Sesshomaru had actually said that he didn't hate him. Did he really mean that? As much as Inuyasha wanted to deny it, it had really meant more than anything in the world for him to hear him say that.

But what if that youkai actually thought that he'd really taken it to heart? But he was not the naïve, trusting little kid he'd been all those years ago, full of so much awe and dreams and ready to follow his big brother at the slightest hint of an invitation. One he'd never gotten when he really needed and wanted it.

iDo as you wish./i

That's what he'd said before he left. Inuyasha knew it was because he hadn't committed last night, and he hadn't committed this morning either when Sesshomaru had asked again. Sesshomaru wasn't the type to beg anyone to do anything. He had eyed him skeptically, but had not detained him when he'd said he had to get going if he was going to be back before the day ended. Inuyasha was glad of that at least. Even though nothing significant was happening for him, he felt like his life was spinning out of control whenever he was around Sesshomaru. He couldn't understand where all of his confusion was coming from. Why, all of a sudden, would Sesshomaru even consider asking him to go on patrol with him?

Making his way slowly down the road; Inuyasha's thoughts instantly flipped back to part of his confusion. Yeah, he might hate the thought, but he had to admit he'd actually had fun the past few days. Even though he found it hard to believe, he'd really enjoyed spending time with Sesshomaru, lately; especially last night; at least for the most part anyway. It was almost like when they'd spent the day together and he'd shown him how to use his claws a long time ago; maybe even better. His brother had actually spent time with him the past few days, and he'd shown him no signs that he truly hated him. Sesshomaru's company really had turned out to be pretty decent.

Sighing heavily once more, Inuyasha considered his options; to go back and stay in the village or to go with his brother. The village, he couldn't let go of.

iTell me your name. And I'll never call you hanyou again./i

That's when it had all started. That's when his life had changed, when Kikyou had said those words. He certainly couldn't go back to the way things were before he had met and fallen in love with Kikyou. But could he really go with Sesshomaru? Wasn't that what he had always wanted; but would it even work?

iYou were merely a brat, so how could I possibly hold you responsible for our chichi-ue's death. So why would I wish to kill you?/i

"Shit, I'm more of a damned little girl than Rin is," Inuyasha snarled beneath his breath in absolute frustration. He almost wanted to chuckle to himself as he wondered what Sesshomaru would think about this idiotic confusion he'd been feeling lately. Hell, it must be great being him. He taught him how to use his claws maybe that stuck up youkai could actually teach him how to go about not giving a shit about anyone or anything.

Groaning out of pure frustration now, Inuyasha halted as he became acutely aware that his feet were traveling the freshly-worn path he'd recently created making his way to and from Sesshomaru's camp and the village. It was as if his mind was actually taking him back to the village on some unconscious level. He wasn't on his way to Sango's and Miroku's at all. He'd spent the last hour and a half lost in thought as he walked back to the village. Why had he done that? He was now standing in the middle of his forest, right in front of Goshinboku, the tree he had been sealed to by Kikyou.

Why was he here? Had some subconscious desire made up his mind for him? Was this an indication that he should just do what Sesshomaru had said; let Kaede-babaa know that they were going to keep Rin, they were going on patrol and they'd be back in six months?

But could he possibly leave his village? he wondered as he stood his ground in his forest.

He studied the tree he had been imprisoned on for 50 years. Lifting his hand, he slowly, traced the bare area his body had rested on for so long. The place where Kikyou's sealing arrow had pierced through his heart; this tree was probably the only place that had been a real home for him, if he wanted to reach that far. Thanks to Kikyou he had not simply been sealed here, he had been protected as well. For 50 years, he had rested here, but he'd had no worries, he had not been attacked, he had not been devoured, he had not corroded, he had not even died.

Kaede-babaa had since told him that Kikyou knew exactly what she was doing when she'd shot him with a sealing arrow and pinned him to this tree. At that time, he'd thought she hated him, and he didn't know why. But even as he thought he was dying, he remembered that the last thing he had tried to tell her was that he still loved her. Now that he knew she thought he was the one who had attacked her and had caused her death, but she still didn't kill him; he knew, she loved him as well.

Kikyou.

There were just too many memories to ever consider leaving them behind he thought stubbornly, as he turned to continue on route. Now that he'd made it to this point, maybe Kaede-babaa could provide some words of wisdom and help him find some answers.

A few minutes later, Inuyasha approached the center of the village, and spied an unusual sight. People were everywhere; practically the whole damned village. Frowning, he jogged closer then clearly saw smoke and fire rising to the sky from what looked like Kaede-babaa's hut. The roof was already engulfed and the remainder of the hut was being overwhelmed by burning logs. A group of men all lined up, were frantically working, passing buckets of water between themselves.

Imagining the worst, Inuyasha's eyes widened as he speed to a gallop. "What's going on here?" he asked one of the females standing on the sidelines watching; her hands twisted tensely in front of her lips. But he realized how foolish the question was the moment it left his mouth. He could clearly see the hut was on fire. "Where's Kaede-babaa?" he quickly amended.

"No one knows."

"You mean no one has seen her?"

The female lowered her head.

"You mean she might still be inside?" Inuyasha yelled at her.

"No one knows," the female repeated, then elaborated as if he was completely dumb and she wanted to make sure he understood the situation. "We can't see or get inside until the fire is put out."

Fuming as he fought back his annoyance, Inuyasha wanted to backhand her, but simply turned then forcefully pushed past the throng of people standing in front of the hut as he pulled off his fire-rat haori armor and placed it over his head. "Let me through," he roared angrily.

"Who's that?" someone asked.

"It's just Inuyasha," someone else replied.

"You can't go in there, the place is on fire," he wasn't sure who had said that.

"Get out of my way," Inuyasha demanded as he continued to push his way forward.

Weaving his way through the muttering crowd, Inuyasha used his Tetsusaiga to cut down part of the heavy fabric covering that was already in blazes as it blocked the entrance to Kaede-babaa's hut, then quickly slid inside.

Covering his nose from the stench of the smoke, he choked as he immediately picked up another scent but only just barely as it swirled above the fire and smoke filled room. Despite the room darkening coverings across the windows, his eyes adjusted to the darkness in seconds, but it felt like minutes had crawled past as his mind registered what he was staring at. Kaede-babaa, was slumped on her side in one of the corners, smoke circling wildly above her head, fire burning only a few feet from her body.

"Oh shit," he groaned, rushing forward to crouch at the priestess' side. "Oh shit, Kaede-babaa," he cried out. Incapable of believing his own sense of smell, Inuyasha quickly propped her up, cradling her body in one arm while disbelieving pressing his ear to her chest, hoping against hope. But there was nothing, not even warmth in her body despite the fire that burned nearby.

Kaede-babaa was dead.

Stunned, the hanyou drew his head back, slowly; as he stared at the old woman.

No, this couldn't be; not again; he insisted to no one.

Lifting her into his arms, Inuyasha rushed toward the door. "Help me, somebody," he cried out, his voice weak and barely audible. Squeezing his eyes shut as he emerged from the smoke filled darkened hut, to re-enter the brightly lit daylight; his legs immediately collapsing beneath him as he stumbled forward and his haori slipped from his head. "iSomeone help me!/i"

Sunlight blasted away the shadows that cloaked the hut in darkness and Inuyasha's entire world was instantly seeped in silence as forms blurred and people moved; some lurching backwards with covered mouths; eyes masked in horror. Others openly wept; while some fell to their knees. Still others simply stared in empty shock. But Inuyasha was far more grateful than he could possibly realize when several burley men rushed forward and carefully pried his clawed fingers from the dead priestess' shoulder, taking her into their own arms. Somehow, he noted the now smoke covered white of Kaede-babaa's once pristine kimono, before he forced his gaze to look away.

This was how it always happened; the words sang through his head; how it was going to always happen. To every single person who lived in this and all the other human villages. It was going to happen to Miroku and Sango, and all the children; just like it had happened to his mother and to Kikyou.

It was going to happen to everyone, everywhere.

Having quickly retreated to what was now his only remaining safe haven; Inuyasha furiously and viciously unleashed numerous strikes from his Tetsusaiga, practically destroying the forest that he'd held in his heart since he'd been unsealed, until he had no strength to do more. Finally, with his energy spent, Inuyasha collapsed against Goshinboku then slowly slid down to his haunches, his back resting solidly against the tree; his breath expelled in quickened, yet short choppy bursts.

Letting out a soft, mournful sound, the hanyou's eyes were cloaked by shadows as he leaned heavily against the trunk of the tree. Strained exhaustion roared through his bones, but so many thoughts flooded his head, as he found himself staring haplessly up at Goshinboku's leaves that draped ominously down above his head and suddenly, he felt sickened. Those memories that he'd held so dear only hours before; now haunted him. He couldn't do this anymore. He refused to think about the next 100, 200, 300 years or more where he would feel sick all over again after losing someone else.

Kaede-babaa was the only one he had left in this village, and now she was gone. But what about him? Was he supposed to consider himself fortunate that he aged like a youkai? How could he? The people he cared for were human. He would likely outlive them all. Would he ever be able to adjust to that?

iLife with humans is the most fleeting of all./i

That's what Sesshomaru had said and now Inuyasha knew those traitorous humans would do this to him all the time; get him to care for them; then... then die... just when ... just when. Is this why he was led back here? So he could hurt? So he could find someone he cared for gone yet again?

But Sesshomaru; he wouldn't do that. He wouldn't hurt him so. All the wounds and gouges that youkai had forced upon him, didn't hurt like this did. At least, those healed. Even to this day, he still felt the pain of losing his mother, and of losing Kikyou. That pain never healed. But Sesshomaru, he wouldn't leave him. He was a full blooded youkai. That youkai would be around long after his own death. He'd probably outlive him by a long shot, even though he was considerably older than him.

iI do not speculate about things over which I have no control, or can do nothing about./i

Sesshomaru would never hurt, not like this, Inuyasha thought woefully as thoughts of that youkai ran through his head. Maybe he had the best approach after all; not caring about anyone or anything. Maybe if he went with him, he could learn not to care too.

iYou'll just be sad and unhappy. . ./i

Was Rin right? Inuyasha didn't know, as his eyes glazed over while he considered the options available to him; to go travel with his brother - or go back and stay in the village - a village without Kaede-babaa. The village, he had said he couldn't leave to be with a brother who'd had hated him all his life. But what was holding him now?

Eyes distant, Inuyasha lifted one hand and scratched his clawed fingertips lazily through his hair. If he went with Sesshomaru now, wouldn't he just be clinging to him out of loneliness? But hell, he was sad, unhappy and lonely. And now that Kaede-babaa was gone, Sesshomaru probably wouldn't even leave Rin behind, so he wouldn't have her to train either. But Sesshomaru did ask him.

iI would not have asked if I did not wish it to be./i

Sesshomaru had said that himself, so it wouldn't be like it was this past week when he'd just shown up at his camp and pretty much just stayed. But was that what he truly meant? Did Sesshomaru truly want him with him? Truth be told, Inuyasha wasn't certain; half of him was convinced that he'd misheard. That he'd misunderstood. That he'd heard only what his hopeful little ears wanted to hear. How could Sesshomaru want him to go with him now? Inuyasha's thoughts were spinning so fast, he couldn't focus. He didn't want to focus.

iDo as you wish./i

"Mother," Inuyasha called out in a half whimper. "Why did you leave me? I can't do this anymore, I can't," he cried listlessly to himself as he rested on his haunches, his back solidly slumped against Goshinboku.

What was he doing? Why didn't he want to go with Sesshomaru? Everything had changed. Everything would be different now. There wasn't anyone left for him; no one except... his brother. What was he going to do now? Who would he talk to? Certainly not Sesshomaru. Inuyasha's head spun with the questions. The villagers only tolerated him because he'd killed that damned Naraku and maybe because Kaede-babaa seemed to trust him, he supposed. Should he go back to where a bunch of scrawny little brats would try to rub his ears? Or perhaps a village full of people who looked at him as if he had just killed their favorite pet?

iYour home? So you are saying that you are content to waste away in that human village?/i

What home? He had no home. He had nothing now; absolutely nothing. What the hell was wrong with him? Why was he so bound and determined to push so hard against Sesshomaru? He was his brother for goodness sake. He had no one else; and he couldn't go back to what it was before. His asshole brother had saved his life when he didn't even have to. He could have just let him die. Why hadn't he let him die? Was it because something truly was changing between them?

iYou two are brothers; and brothers shouldn't fight. If you fight, then you'll just be sad and unhappy; I don't want you or Lord Sesshomaru to be unhappy./i

Unhappy, the word repeated itself in his head.

Looking up at the sky filtering between the surrounding trees, it was with a defeated sigh that Inuyasha picked up his haori that he'd thrown at the foot of the tree and wearily pulled it over his head. He wasn't sure, but he thought he remembered someone pushing it into his arms before he'd run off. He felt so tired, so bone dead, as he realized that if he did go with his brother now, he would receive nothing but pity from that youkai. He couldn't stand his pity any more than he could stand his hatred.

iKilling you, would not be the same as killing father./i

He knew he wasn't a full youkai. But he wasn't useless, was he? What he wanted from Sesshomaru was his respect; not his pity. But would he ever get that? But did that even matter anymore? If he didn't go with Sesshomaru, where would he go? Back to the ditches and caves?

He didn't want to be alone. He couldn't be. Now that Kaede-babaa was gone, what was he going to do? He needed to be with someone, and subconsciously he believed it would probably be Sesshomaru. He wasn't that bad, was he?

iPerhaps you will consider traveling with me for a month./i

Sesshomaru.

iDo as you wish./i

He could always leave if he wasn't happy with him couldn't he? In the safe silence of his conflicted mind, Inuyasha could almost admit. . . that maybe it wouldn't be. . .

"Master Inuyasha," a soft voice called from somewhere behind him, startling the hanyou.

"Wh-a-a-t?" Inuyasha spun his head in confusion to find himself facing a young female wolf hanyou carrying a long spear. Where did she come from? Inuyasha wondered, pulling his Tetsusaiga and readying himself as he sprang to his feet. How did he let this happen? How could anyone have gotten so close to him and he hadn't noticed? It wasn't the first time, but if he wanted to live, he'd better make sure it was the last. It was his damned preoccupation with Sesshomaru. Save him? Hell that asshole was going to get him killed one of these days. He spent most of his days in so much confusion lately, that he was letting his instincts slip. He had not even scented the wolf hanyou's approach.

"Who are you?" Inuyasha wanted to know, as he lifted his sword upward; studying the young hanyou who stood in front of him now, her spear at rest at her side. But he would not fall for it. She had already snuck up on him; he would not be caught off guard again.

"I am Sarula, servant to Princess Edera," she said with a face that looked innocent enough; but Inuyasha didn't believe she could be trusted.

She was a small slip of a girl, with very long black hair, almost as long as she was tall, as it tapered to her ankles. Her large black eyes, partially shielded by her hair, held a touch of dejection within them; despite the slight smile that covered her lips. Her hair was pulled into three separate tails around her head; one on each side and a fuller one loosely tied in the back. Her ears grew from the top of her head, just like his. She was almost as tall as he was, only a few inches shorter, at most.

"I did not come to fight."

"Princess who?"

"Princess Edera, mistress of the southern lands," she repeated, tilting her head in puzzlement. "Did you not meet her at your brother's camp a few weeks ago?"

At his brother's camp? Inuyasha lowered his Tetsusaiga, slightly, as he thought back, was she talking about that youkai with the pack of wolf dogs Sesshomaru was talking to that time?

"No, I didn't; but what do you want?"

"Actually, my mistress sent me to see if I could talk you into assisting her," her voice sounded as if filled with desperate hope. Inuyasha recalled her mistress had seemed to be asking Sesshomaru for his help; what happened with that? "She heard you had a powerful sword and had killed the hanyou Naraku who had the shikon no tama."

"Didn't she ask Sesshomaru for help?" Inuyasha asked, not liking the thought of being considered second best, despite knowing he did not have Sesshomaru's strength. But knowing full well he would always be looked at as just a second string when compared to that youkai. Why would he want to travel with him under such conditions? That youkai never even wanted his help in a battle.

"Unfortunately, Lord Sesshomaru was unable to provide assistance."

Of course not, Inuyasha thought heatedly to himself. That youkai lord helped no one. "Why have you come to me?"

"As I said, my mistress heard you were a hanyou with great strength and a powerful sword."

"So why should I use it to help her," Inuyasha now wanted to know. Despite his issues with his brother's ability to care about others, Sesshomaru certainly knew youkai a lot better than him. If he didn't want to assist her, maybe he shouldn't help out either. He didn't know a damned thing about what he might be getting mixed up in. "I don't even know her; and no offense, why did she send you to ask? Why isn't she here herself?" He may not have had Sesshomaru's status or strength, but shouldn't he garner some kind of respect? Especially if she wanted his assistance.

"My mistress was afraid you would turn her down like your brother did," Sarula said even more regretfully. Inuyasha almost felt sorry for her. She was a hanyou who seemed to have absolutely no confidence in herself. He wondered if her life was even more dismal than his own. "She thought since I am a hanyou, and you are a hanyou, maybe I would have better luck. And of course, she didn't believe what your brother said."

Inuyasha's back immediately arched as he spun to face her full on. Something instinctively told him he wasn't going to like this. "What my brother said? What he said about what?"

"Oh, I wasn't supposed to say that."

"Wasn't supposed to say what? What did Sesshomaru say?"

"No, it's nothing."

"What did he say?" Inuyasha demanded with a vicious growl.

"Well, if you promise not to say anything to my mistress when you see her."

"I won't say anything to anybody," Inuyasha growled angrily, his head rustling with questions about Sesshomaru, about himself, about everything. "What did that brother of mine say?"

Sarula lowered her head to avoid his gaze. "I think he said that she would be wasting her time with a hanyou like you."

"I don't believe you," Inuyasha snarled, lifting Tetsusaiga and again readying the blade, surprised at how quickly he denied her words, but he realized it was because somewhere deep inside him, he still wanted to believe in his brother, to trust him. If he had said that, he had to have said it before right? It didn't mean anything now, did it? But he didn't say it, he couldn't have. "You're lying. Why?"

"I'm sorry," Sarula said falling to her knees subserviently, shaking her head without raising her gaze. "I know she's been ranting about that for the past weeks, and I know she said she didn't believe it," she lifted her head slightly, but she still did not meet his gaze. "She said any hanyou who could kill someone who had the shikon no tama had to be pretty powerful as powerful as any youkai."

No, Inuyasha heard her, but his mind was still wrapped around Sesshomaru. He didn't. They were making progress, weren't they? But Sesshomaru cared now, didn't he? He'd thought..., he'd thought..., shit, when would he ever learn, Inuyasha scowled, suddenly overwhelmed with a sadness, but why? Did it matter if he had said that before? No, not when that youkai hated him so much that he would say such things to anyone who was around.

iDo not let me look upon your face again./i

Well he wouldn't. That son-of-a-bitch; he would never have to see this wretched hanyou again. Despite any denials he put forth, he knew that was just the kind of thing Sesshomaru would say; "A hanyou like me, huh? Wasting her time, huh?" Inuyasha fumed. That damned youkai lord had absolutely no respect for him no matter what he said. All that crappy shit about him not hating him; about him not being responsible for their oyaji's death, when would he ever learn? He'd spent the better part of a month trying to earn that damned youkai lord's love. All that talk about him wanting him to travel with him, when in truth all he probably wanted was another servant like Jaken. Well no more, he wasn't worth it, he'd kicked him in the face one time too many, he was done.

"Yes, I think he said you don't even know how to properly wield your sword like a youkai would," Sarula added, again avoiding his gaze, despite the additional fuel she'd spewed out. "That you got lucky killing Naraku and that Naraku would still be alive if he hadn't been there to assist you."

"If he hadn't been there to assist? Really?" Inuyasha grunted in obvious annoyance as his blood began to boil with so much hatred.

iYou cannot be trusted./i

Look who was talking. Imagine him, of all people, saying such a thing. As long as he catered to that youkai's will; everything was fine. But try to stand on his own two feet, and that youkai would never give him credit for anything.

Once again, he was a fool. An absolute fool for even thinking for one second that he'd ever have been content subjecting himself to the routine insanity Sesshomaru provided. He would be dead in a week, probably even sooner. His jaw locked tight as he sneered silently. 'Sesshomaru was so damned good,' Inuyasha fumed internally. 'He really could simply switch that big brother bullshit off and on whenever he wanted to couldn't he? Well, he could just go to hell for all he cared.'

"Like I said, I'm sorry I said that," Sarula said, remaining on her knees; her head almost touching the ground. "My mistress did not give me leave to do so."

"Get up," Inuyasha commanded. "What does your mistress need help with?"

Sarula rose slowly as she watched him uncertainly. "There is an evil youkai from the north trying to take her land," she said still apparently lacking the courage to look him in his eyes. Assuming she was frightened of his Tetsusaiga, Inuyasha relaxed the blade then re-sheathed his sword. "He's already killed her mate and wants her to mate with him so he can rule the southern lands with her."

"Youkai from the north, huh?" Like he'd always said, risks were something he thrived on, and barreling headlong into danger was his trademark. Breathing hard, his jaw clenched tight, it took a moment or two for Inuyasha to move his hand away from the tsuka of his sword. He didn't need to go with Sesshomaru. He might not have Kaede-babaa anymore, but he certainly didn't have to settle for that youkai. Spinning on his heels, he stalked away from both good and bad memories, his lip curled in a ferocious snarl; forcing the female hanyou to follow behind, as if he knew where he was going. But it was just a simple fact that he wanted to get as far away from his brother as he could possibly get.

"Come on, why don't we check with your mistress to see what I can do to help. Not every youkai from the western lands is an asshole," Inuyasha fumed as he stomped off to goodness knows where. He'd show that damned Sesshomaru who was weak. He'd already killed Naraku, he'll kill this northern youkai and when he'd done that he'd come back and kill Sesshomaru too. All thoughts that warped his brain, until he finally heard Sarula yell at him to stop as she erected some kind of barrier around them both, and then they were gone.

Sesshomaru was a thinker. He had always been more of a thinker than a communicator. But lately, he'd found himself thinking more than he ever had before. In addition to his thoughts on his chichi-ue's death and what he might be required to do to resolve it, the hanyou, himself, had occupied his thoughts excessively. Previously his thoughts had centered on what needed to be done, not what had been done, but now he found himself focusing on the events that previously occurred both for his chichi-ue and for that hanyou. He was uncertain if he cared for these new lines of thought.

He'd made one final attempt to reach that hanyou before he'd departed yesterday. "Perhaps you will consider traveling with me for a month; that is, if you believe you can survive without your villagers." But having not received a response after several moments, he'd simply added. "Do as you wish."

That hanyou was so unpredictable. His moods turned instantly. He clung more to his human aspects than to his youkai traits. His mind was warped with human tendencies, traits and frailties. Something Sesshomaru had hoped to change, but he wondered if he ever could. Perhaps he had allowed him to associate with humans for far too long; he wondered now, if it was too late for his little brother to acknowledge who and what he was and truly embrace it.

The hanyou should have returned yesterday afternoon, but he had not. He had not returned this morning, either. Rin had been waiting for him, but now, Sesshomaru could see her disappointment. Had he gotten so involved with his human friends that he cared not that he disappointed Rin? She did not complain. She never complained. But the disappointment in her eyes was clearly obvious, as she silently occupied herself by bathing Ah-Un yet again. Yesterday she had excitedly repeated the possibility of going to train with the slayer. But today, she had grown sullen and withdrawn after the hanyou had failed to return. That hanyou tried his patience. Youkai did not behave so. An honorable youkai's word was his bond.

But the hanyou; just when he thought he understood him; Sesshomaru found he did not. From his reluctance the previous morning, it was clear this was not going to work. His brother's petty little temper tantrums were unbecoming. He had made it obvious that he did not wish to travel with him; but must he disappoint Rin as well? Had he no honor?

Unable to bear Rin's silence another minute, Sesshomaru decided that he would find that wretched hanyou, and he would ensure that he explained himself. If he did not wish to behave as a daiyoukai's son, he would simply sever all ties to him. His chichi-ue would simply have to understand. But he had said it would be his objective. Did this now mean that he had failed in obtaining is goal? No, he would not allow that hanyou's foolish antics to result in his defeat. This daiyoukai failed at nothing.

Leaving Rin with Jaken and Ah-Un, the youkai lord set out to locate his wretched brother. Upon exiting his camp, however, he was surprised to find that the hanyou's scent had not headed out in the direction he had anticipated. Instead, he found that it clearly headed back toward his village. Had he changed his mind about the slayer? Had he decided to tell the priestess that they would keep Rin and take her on patrol with them? If so, why had he not yet returned? Sesshomaru was uncertain, but he was determined to find out.

Approaching the hanyou's forest, the youkai lord slowed above the uncontrolled destructive sight that marred the earth beneath his sight. He knew those gouges and gashes well; the hanyou's Tetsusaiga attack. He had nearly obliterated his entire forest, but he had not touched his tree; the one he had been bound to for 50 years. Why had he done that? What purpose would he have of releasing his kaze ni kizu here and with such uncontrolled fire power? Was he in pursuit of some youkai? Sesshomaru was not certain. He scented no youkai that the hanyou could have pursued. But the youkai lord did scent the tell tale sign of smoke coming from the village ahead. Perhaps the hanyou was there helping his villagers yet again.

It did not take long for the daiyoukai to lay his sight upon the destruction of the miko's hut; apparently, some kind of accident. But it was over and done at least a day by now; no one was around. But is this why the hanyou had not yet returned? Sesshomaru wondered as he lowered himself to the center of the destruction. Immediately, he froze as he scented it; swirling through the air; overpowering the scent of smoldering smoke and soot; knocking him back on his heels because of its unfamiliarity. This was not some accidental fire caused by the miko's furnace or fire pit. Beyond the scent of burning wood, was the scent of youkai fire power. This fire had been deliberately caused by youkai.

He could also scent the miko's death. He could see her spiritual arrows strewn haphazardly about the floor. She had tried to put up a defense, but she had died here. If the hanyou had not brought Rin to him, she would have been here as well... Sesshomaru shook his head, dislodging the thought. But Rin! He would have to keep her now. How could he tell her why? He could not. He could not break her heart so. He knew she cared for the miko. But she had a way of surmising the true issues. Would she surmise this? What would he say if she asked? But more importantly, why had youkai wanted to kill the miko? Was it because of what she was? A single miko, though, posed no threat to any youkai of power. He could scent the hanyou's presence in the midst of the still smoldering wood. Is this what had caused the hanyou's destruction of his forest? Sesshomaru knew he had cared for her as well. Had he pursued the youkai responsible?

But why had youkai done this? And who were they? He did not recognize their scent. Their breed was clearly not of the western lands. They scented of the souls of dead youkai and earth. No, not earth; it scented of earth, but it was different. Slightly familiar, yet unknown; he could not remember. He had scented the souls of dead youkai just recently; through that Princess Edera of the southern lands, in fact. Had she returned and killed the miko? No, this scent was not her. The souls of dead youkai he scented now were different. They were an abomination. And that earth. What was that scent of dried earth that was not quite earth? Sesshomaru wondered as he continued to take in the scent, trying to determine what that familiar yet unknown earth was. He knew they were not high-level youkai such as him; mid-level at best. With the level of fire power that surrounded the hut, he knew that several youkai had initiated this fire.

The youkai lord strolled slowly through the destruction at his feet; kicking aside a still smoldering log; inhaling the soot and smoke; inhaling the scent of dead youkai souls and dried non-earth. This was not unfamiliar. He had strolled through fire burned rubble once before; slightly over 200 years ago, in fact. It was an issue he had not yet resolved, but he would. He would resolve them both, Sesshomaru muttered angrily to himself; uncertain if his anger was from then or now. But he knew he would know what youkai abomination would dare enter his land and cause such destruction.

Their scent brought back memories of the miko the hanyou had loved-a reformed mortal. Was this what he was dealing with now? Reformed youkai souls? But reformed by whom and from what? But what youkai would dare enter his lands and kill one of his residents? His residents? Why had that thought suddenly sprung into his head? How could he possibly have thought such a thing? Was this more of those precarious changes that had affected him of late? But Sesshomaru knew; she was indeed one of his residents. Yes, she had cared for Rin; but over the past few days, in the back of his mind he had been considering if he truly intended to rule these western lands, which he was likely to do if he was forced to unseat his haha-ue; he had to accept them all, youkai and humans, as residents of his land. He would have to commit to following in his chichi-ue's footsteps and use his strength as his chichi-ue had done and protect everyone. But could he? A question he still battled with. He was not like his chichi-ue. Despite any recent changes in him, he did not and would not love. But one thing he was certain of; he would find these youkai that had invaded his lands.

Had that foolish hanyou pursued them-alone? But to where? Even he, a full inu youkai, could not scent their path of exit. There was no trace of their scent in the wind. And the attacks in the forest appeared unfocused and lost. Would the hanyou have even scented them above the smoke, Sesshomaru wondered; or had he allowed his sight only to guide his way? If he indeed had pursued them, why had he not sought his assistance? Had he not because he still held such animosity toward this daiyoukai?

Instantly lifting himself into the air, Sesshomaru knew he had to trace the hanyou's path as he began to trail his scent back to the forest. He knew not who these youkai were that had killed the miko, but if the hanyou had indeed pursued them alone, the scent of those reformed souls told him he may well have more on his hands than he could handle, despite the abilities of his Tetsusaiga.

Retracing the hanyou's steps, Sesshomaru paused at the edge of the village. Here was yet another question for him to consider. Why had the hanyou not contacted him for this? Was it because he did not think he would help? Below him, he sited a pile of freshly dug earth; a shrine. From the scent of it, he knew this was the miko's burial spot and he lightly touched down. Studying it, he realized that the possibilities were far too uncertain. He could not restore life to the miko's bones. The only thing he could do for her now was to ensure that he found the ones responsible and take their lives.

Taking to the air once more, the youkai lord halted just above the point of origin of Inuyasha's Kaze ni kizu attack, and lowered himself to the forest ground. Instantly, he was once more taken aback. He could still scent the hanyou's presence here as it lingered heavy in the air. His humanity reeked with so much pain, so much anger, and so much fury. He had never scented him so. Sesshomaru realized through the scent permeating the air, that his original assumption had been correct. The hanyou had released his sword's power in anger not in attack. He had not realized the miko meant so much to him. Though Sesshomaru knew he continued to protect them, he had not thought anyone in that village could hurt him so. But in truth, he should have known, she was the younger sister of the miko the hanyou had loved after all. A fact which drove the question once more; why had the hanyou not contacted him?

But, as Sesshomaru turned and surveyed the area, he soon scented the presence of another hanyou-a female; a female wolf hanyou, in fact. But he scented nothing else. He did not scent the youkai abomination he had scented in the miko's hut; but the hanyou and the female's scent seemed to have disappeared; vanished. But to where? There was no trace of them in the wind, Sesshomaru realized as he lifted his head in an attempt to scent their path. In fact, there was not even a trace of the female hanyou's arrival. He knew not, from which direction she came. The female's scent seemed to have come from nowhere and disappeared as it had arrived. Their disappearance was not unlike the disappearance of the scent of the abominations who had taken the miko's life. Why would the hanyou go with her; or had he allowed himself to be taken? The youkai lord knew not what any of this meant. He knew only that he would find that hanyou and whatever the abominations were that had killed the miko.

A/N: Hope you enjoyed!

What does this mean? Is Princess Edera back or one of her minions anyway? Does that mean she'll be back soon? Who is she anyway? I didn't like the fact that she threatened our dear Lord Sesshomaru when first they met.

Goodness, what is this now? Just when I thought Inuyasha would accept his brother and go with him-here comes what now? Who is this Sarula, and when did Sesshomaru say those things, why would he?

Oh, by the way, I'm sorry that Kaede-babaa had to die, but she was elderly; 60 years or more, and in those days, people rarely lived to that age, and yes, how she died was tragic, but I loved Rin with Sesshomaru and Kaede's death was unfortunately essential to the plot. I don't know why Rumiko Takahashi decided that Rin should stay with Kaede, I believe Rin was the main reason Sesshomaru's heart began to change and I think she can help his heart change even more. Through her, he can learn to care for his brother, for humans, and maybe even decide he wants to love. But of course that depends more on the female as well as the different events that occur in his life. But Rin is a very smart girl, and knows just what to say and when to say it, to make Sesshomaru consider another approach. And no, I'm not looking for any perversion or lolicon acts for Sesshomaru at all. To me, Rin is like an adopted daughter to Sesshomaru, and I do not believe a family should be split apart.

Chichi-ue—(father)

hanyou - (half breed)  
inu - (dog)  
kaze ni kizu - (windscar)  
oyaji's - (old man's)  
Shikon no Tama - (sacred jewel of four souls)

tsuka - (hilt)


	15. Chapter 15 Princess Edera

**A.N.'s: Hello, I'm back again. I hope I haven't confused you too much. I'm sure you thought we were going to go with Sesshomaru and find out exactly what happened when his father died, but a slight change of pace, last time Kaede-babaa died and Inuyasha was emotionally hurt and so upset by that that he actually believed what some unknown wolf hanyou said that Sesshomaru had said about him. Was she telling the truth? I don't know, but it seems to me if Inuyasha could believe something so easily than clearly he never trusted his older brother, no matter how much Sesshomaru tried to be honest with him.**

**Well, it looks like our young hanyou has gone off to the southern lands to help Princess Edera in the southern lands. Remember, Sesshomaru didn't trust her when she came to him, but he knows more about youkai than Inuyasha does. Does that mean we shouldn't trust her either? Will Sesshomaru try to save his little brother if he needs help? Will he even know where he is? Would he even care about him?**

**Sesshomaru & Inuyasha: Kyoudai de Kōtetsu  
Sesshomaru & Inuyasha: Brothers in Arms**

Shō 15 - Hidenka Edera's Jōkaku  
Chapter 15-Princess Edera's Castle 

Inuyasha couldn't exactly say he liked flying with this Sarula anymore than he liked flying with Sesshomaru. After Sarula had encased him with that barrier, it seemed like she had magically transported them from where they were to where they are. The problem was, Inuyasha couldn't exactly say where he was when they came to a stop and he had a chance to look around. They seemed to be in the middle of nowhere; a large open field with mountains and hills in the distance; an odd place for them to settle down if her mistress was in such need. Why hadn't she simply transported them to where they needed to be? He could only assume they were somewhere in the southern lands, though. That was where she said her mistress was from at least.

"Where are we?" Inuyasha asked, finally.

"Not far from the castle. It's up ahead."

Inuyasha stared out into the distance, then rotated in a circle, but saw nothing but a backdrop of forest against darkening skies. "What castle? Where?"

"It's just there, beyond the hill." Sarula said pointing in front of her, surprisingly her voice sounded even more quiet and forlorn than it had before.

The hanyou couldn't help but wonder what type of youkai her mistress truly was; something certainly seemed to frighten her and she seemed even more frightened the closer they seemed to get to where they were going. "Are you all right? Are you frightened of something?" Inuyasha asked, not being able to get past the gloominess he thought he'd seen and heard in her from the time they'd met.

"No," she said forcing a smile and a bright glint into her eyes. "I'm fine. Just a little tired, it's been a long day. Anyway, you can't see the castle because it's protected by a barrier; and my mistress takes every precaution," Sarula said, her gaze once more taking up a familiar haunted cast as she focused in the distance. "We'll have to walk a little bit, but once we get to the barrier, I can open it with my staff."

"A protective barrier?" If this Princess Edera had a barrier, why did she need him?

"Yes, it keeps most intruders from passing through."

Inuyasha knew he hated barriers because of that Naraku. He remembered all too well the bloody hell he had gone through trying to find that jerk.

_You are too feisty for your own good._

Maybe he was, maybe he was nothing but a fool. Only a fool would find himself half way across the country, not knowing what the hell he was going to encounter when he got wherever the hell he was going.

"Hold onto my staff," Sarula said, after they'd walked for about a half hour. "You're not going to be able to get through it, if you don't."

Inuyasha turned to study her. He doubted that very much, as he considered his Tetsusaiga. There were few barriers he wouldn't be able to break through with that. But he grabbed her staff, anyway; best not to reveal all his secrets just yet, he reasoned, as he kept his hand braced on Tetsusaiga's tsuka.

Sesshomaru must be the only youkai fool who didn't have a barrier of some sort - stayed right out in the freaking open, like no youkai would dare touch him. Chuckling to himself, Inuyasha realized if they had any sense, no youkai would.

_Do as you wish._

Did Sarula tell the truth? Inuyasha wondered as they moved through the barrier. Did Sesshomaru really say the things she said her mistress told her he had? He didn't know, hell, he couldn't get past the fact that Sesshomaru had said... No, he wouldn't think about him anymore. He needed to think about what he was about to walk into. He didn't even know if he'd be able to help this Princess Edera or not, or whether he'd even want to. She might be a bigger pain in the rear than Sesshomaru was. She was a youkai after all and he'd never been friends with any kind of youkai, except for maybe Myoga, Shippo and Kirara. But once he figured that out, what was he going to do then? He couldn't go back to the village and he sure couldn't go back to Sesshomaru.

Inuyasha and Sarula easily manipulated their way through the barrier. But the hanyou stopped and stared wide-eyed once he got to the other side as he observed the scene in front of him.

Compared to Naraku's castle, this place was massive; but Sarula had said Princess Edera was the mistress of the southern lands. What had he expected? In front of him stood a multi-tiered, multi-winged structure. At the center of it was a tall three-story tower with multiple smaller, two story buildings connected to each side of the main structure as well as to each other, forming a large rectangular shaped compound. All of the buildings were beautifully crowned with Irimoya style rooflines. The buildings were wedged into a scraggly hill with the front lower plain of it blocked by a tree-lined maze and a marsh in an obvious attempt to deter intruders.

The entire structure was built with stone foundations, whitewashed walls, and the layout of the smaller buildings clearly spoke of multiple rooms in each of the wings. An overhead ledge was straddled above the different levels with armored youkai strategically standing guard. At this distance, Inuyasha couldn't tell what type of youkai they were, but doubted he'd know even if he was up close. He knew very little about youkai anyway.

He couldn't help but wonder if Sesshomaru had given up something like this. If so, for what; to live under a tree? He was the lord of the western lands. Did he actually have a castle somewhere? Did his mother live there? If he did, why would he just give up this kind of living? Inuyasha didn't know. Granted, he had not toured the entire western lands, no matter what it felt like as he tracked down Naraku, but he couldn't remember ever seeing a structure like this in the west. Sesshomaru, though, had to be one crazy youkai to give up something like this; but then, that kind of went without saying.

_Do not let me look upon your face again._

"It's quietly lovely, isn't it?" Sarula asked softly, interrupting his thoughts. "I believe it was built over 200 years ago to replace my mistress' previous castle which was about 5 miles north of here. The east and west structures contain the resident areas, Princess Edera resides in the main structure and meets with other youkai in there mostly, but she also has a room in the western wing," Sarula's words paused momentarily as her eyes seemed to focus on the lower eastern wing.

Inuyasha wondered what thoughts crossed her mind and was about to ask when she spoke again.

"Behind the compound you'll find beautiful gardens with unbelievable flowering trees, ponds and walkways. It really is a sight to see."

"200 years ago," Inuyasha repeated. "How long have you been here?"

"Come on, my mistress is waiting," Sarula said quietly, as she rushed forward. Inuyasha watched her for a second or two, as a thought raced to the front of his mind. He had to admit if he missed traveling with Sesshomaru for any reason; it would be for his chance to make sure that little imp called him Master Inuyasha. That would certainly get his dander up.

Following behind Sarula as she made her way skillfully through and around the myriad mazes and trenches surrounding the castle, Inuyasha realized she had done this many times before; otherwise, it was obvious that one could easily lose their footing and slip to their death. But he wondered what did all these trenches really matter if the person out to attack the princess was a full blooded youkai; most of them could fly couldn't they? For some reason, he couldn't help but wonder who she was really trying to keep out as they arrived at the top of the large flat hill and approached a stone walkway. Heading toward a base of gigantic stairs, Sarula began to ascend to the first level of the main structure.

_I should have let you die_.

Clenching his fists tightly at his sides, Inuyasha steeled his emotions and expression as he followed slowly behind the wolf hanyou. He had no idea what Sesshomaru was up to these past couple of weeks, acting like he cared about him. But if that jerk really didn't think he was capable of helping the princess, he'd show him.

But why had he asked him to go with him?

_Perhaps you will consider traveling with me for a month._

If Sesshomaru really had said those things Sarula mentioned, it was probably just that stuck up youkai's way of trying to gain control. That was probably the only reason he'd asked him to accompany him in the first place; so he could gain control in some way.

_I intended to make you feel compelled to travel with me._

Inuyasha didn't care what Sesshomaru might have said, he could handle himself against any youkai out there.

The back of his neck prickled, though, as he approached the castle. But had he simply stormed off, so intent on making a point to Sesshomaru based only on what this Sarula had said that he'd run headlong into a some kind of trap? And now it was pointless, because he didn't even know where he was. Fine, he thought; the mood he was in, he could stand blasting somebody away; he didn't give a shit who it was.

While he'd been thinking, the two of them had made their way to the top of the stairs and Inuyasha stopped to observe the castle grounds from an entirely different perspective. Here, the buildings seemed much taller; almost humongous. But there wasn't anyone around. The castle seemed completely silent and empty. Where was the freaking threat here? He'd come for a battle, not for tea.

Entering the castle, Inuyasha took in the gigantic ceiling heights when Sarula led him down a short hall into a large greeting room that was divided in half by two large, colorful six-panel Byôbu made of silk, bound to a wooden frame, depicting the front and rear images of the castle grounds. Each Byôbu extended from opposing walls, leaving an opening for entry to the other half of the room as well as to the personal quarters of the main structure.

"Stay right here, my mistress will be out in a minute," Sarula warned, eyeing him suspiciously, as she turned to disappear behind the Byôbu.

"Yeah, sure," Inuyasha muttered, before turning to roam uncomfortably about the greeting room. His knees nearly buckled as a sickening scent drifted forward through the Byôbu, permeating the air. Was something burning, he wondered. Whatever it was, it had such an awful stench; almost like dead flesh, dried blood, and something fruity? He wasn't certain, as his nostrils ached slightly. What was that and why was it burning? Should he be rude and tell his hostess the moment he saw her, to put it out? Sarula hadn't even seemed to notice it. Was she so used to it that it didn't bother her? But should it even bother him? He would be here only a few minutes, he reasoned. He could tolerate it that long, whatever it was, couldn't he?

Inuyasha moved back through the short hall, outside to the stone railing at the top of the stairs overlooking the land, trying to breathe in fresh air. Across the mazes, he could see the open plains in front of the castle. With the barrier, everyone inside had an unobstructed view of anyone trying to approach, but from outside the castle had appeared completely hidden. Restless, he grew annoyed as he realized he had hoped he'd be fighting by now. He hadn't dispensed as much anger as he'd thought when he'd torn up his forest. Now, he wanted nothing more than to just tear something apart; beat the crap out of someone, anyone.

_You do not wish to accompany me?_

Like that youkai gave a crap about anything he did.

_You filthy hanyou._

That was more like it.

The evening sky was growing bright and colorful from the setting sun. Inuyasha had been on the move since he'd left Sesshomaru's camp early that morning. What a day it had been. He'd set out to go to Miroku's and Sango's, only to find himself on his way back to his village. He still didn't know why that had happened. He'd gotten there, only to find... Kaede-babaa.

Turning his gaze away from the view, Inuyasha sat down with his back to the stone wall, releasing a heavy sigh that seemed to rattle his entire soul straight down to his bones. He felt like crap, pure and simple. Everything about his life was an absolute wreck; and he saw nothing in front of him that said anything would get any better. Now he was here in some creepy magic castle, proving a point to no one, because he had no idea where he was, all because he'd simply rushed off with some crazy, magic wolf hanyou.

Rising to his feet, the hanyou restlessly wandered into the greeting room yet again. Inuyasha knew he didn't really have to spend much time wondering how he got himself mixed up in situations like this. His temper; his blind, hot-headed, stupid temper. Sesshomaru was reaching out, but he kept pulling back.

_You are far too reactive._

Sesshomaru knew him so well. He did just react to whatever he was faced with. Always just rushing into shit without fully thinking about it. But he'd just been so damned - so damned - Shit, he'd really thought him and Sesshomaru were finally starting to make real progress this time. But how could he have thought that; when he couldn't even trust him.

_You were merely a brat, so how could I possibly hold you responsible for our chichi-ue's death. So why would I wish to kill you?_

After a few minutes of useless brain thumping, Inuyasha found himself standing a few feet in front of the youkai he had seen at Sesshomaru's camp. Here in her castle, she seemed even more beautiful close up than she did before; probably because she was more regally adorned than she was when he'd last seen her.

Princess Edera wore an ornate spiked shoulder harness that surrounded her like a halo behind her head dripping with long grayish silk that flowed gently behind her. A large red fire bird jewel hung from her right ear, the left ear held a different jewel. Her long black gloves clung tightly not only to her arms, but her rather lengthy, extended claws as well. She was graced in a seductive, long black silk dress and her shoulders were crowned with thick black fur. Inuyasha wondered what was it with youkai royalty that compelled them to wear fur.

"Inuyasha," she called striding forward.

Always on the defensive, Inuyasha quickly grasped his Tetsusaiga.

"May I call you Inuyasha? I am Princess Edera. I am so grateful that you've come," she said waving her hand in a motion that requested he follow her, as she turned back and retreated through the opening between the Byôbu.

Inuyasha followed as she lead the way through a long, fortified hallway into a large living area with several oversized chairs, two futon sofas and several tatami seating mats spread across the floor in front of a fire pit.

"Why am I here, exactly?" he asked, immediately suspicious of her reasons for having him brought there. "I don't see any threat. This castle seems abandoned."

"That is because the servants are going about their duty," Princess Edera smiled across her shoulder. Her lips were crimson red, obviously rouged, its color nearly matching the red jewel on her ear. "I have no armed force here, you see, that is why I requested your assistance."

"My assistance for what?"

"I am pleased to see you have such an interest," Princess Edera said. "You are quite different from your brother in so many ways."

Different.

_You are no brother of mine. I will kill you if you ever call me that again._

Even though he'd often thought of him as that; Inuyasha had never called him brother again.

"There is a powerful youkai from the northern lands whose threatening to take over in the south. Prince Shushinki," Princess Edera explained with an almost too vibrant smile. "I cannot stop him alone, so I sent Sarula to request your assistance."

"You went to Sesshomaru, before, didn't you?" Inuyasha asked, still highly suspicious of her intent; but also suspecting that his youkai brother had declined to assist her for whatever reasons, and he wasn't particularly certain he should help, either.

"Yes, but I believe Lord Sesshomaru felt my battle was beneath someone of his stature," Princess Edera said as her eyes glinted with obvious disdain; as if she still could not believe that her problem had been so rudely dismissed.

Inuyasha could understand that look. He'd probably had that same look more than a hundred times, himself, when he'd thought about Sesshomaru.

Princess Edera smiled at him once more. "But I have heard many tales about the powerful young hanyou who had overcome a powerful jewel and I had hoped you could help me instead."

"Why should I fight this Prince Shushinki, I don't know him," Inuyasha decided not to lose focus of his own questions. He could not allow his or her anger at Sesshomaru to convince him to be her blade. He may well have to turn her down himself. "He's done nothing to me."

"No, but he has done much too many," Princess Edera said with an elegant grace, which suddenly reminded the young hanyou of his mother.

Even though his mother had never liked talking about it, Inuyasha knew that she too, had been a princess before he was born. And despite their life, she had always displayed such elegant grace. But she'd been disowned by any remaining family members after she had given birth to a hanyou and the castle had burned to the ground.

"He's killed half my servants and my dear mate as well."

"Where is he now?"

"Unfortunately, I don't know where he is, and I have no idea how to find him," Princess Edera said taking a seat in one of the large chairs. Inuyasha sat on one of the tatami mats closest to the princess in front of the fire pit. "I know only that he comes every week or so to wipe out more of my servants. He claims he will destroy everything leaving me with nothing, unless I become his mate and allow him to rule by my side."

"You have that powerful barrier guarding your castle. How can he get past it?"

"Prince Shushinki is a chiryno, He has the ability to locate and pass through any barrier I can erect."

"What is a chir... chiryno?" Inuyasha asked regrettably. He had to admit, he knew little specifics about various youkai, he'd stayed away from them most of his life. Full youkai's had always looked down on him with his hanyou status, just like his brother had, and apparently still did.

"A youkai exterminator from hell."

"A youkai exterminator?"

"Yes, he was originally stationed in the north, but he seeks additional power and now wants control of the southern lands as well."

"So what do you want me to do if you can't find him?" He had no intention of traipsing around the country in search of some youkai he didn't even know. Naraku was one thing, but this was completely different.

"I was hoping you would be my guest until he next appeared. You can see what he is about, and if you kill him with your Tetsusaiga," she leaned forward to touch it, but Inuyasha twisted out of her reach, uncomfortable with the planned intrusion of his space, his hand resting securely on the tsuka of his sword, "I will give you whatever you desire. You can even reside here permanently, if you so choose, because we could all be safe again," she finished with an understanding glance.

"You want me to stay here until he returns," Inuyasha's vision roved slowly about the room, in stunned surprise. "Which could be one or two weeks from now?"

"I'm sorry, but it is the only way," Princess Edera smiled warmly; a look of hopeful yearning coating her eyes. In fact, she looked like a youkai who was desperate for his agreement in this request, or she would find herself at a lost as to what she would do. "We'll make you very comfortable here," she insisted. "But as I said, I don't know where to find him, and I don't know when he'll return. But if you choose to wait, I guarantee you will enjoy your stay."

Inuyasha considered it. Two weeks away from his brother. By the time he got back, Sesshomaru should be gone back on patrol and he wouldn't have to worry about that youkai again for another six months. Like Kaede-babaa used to say, there were reasons for every event. "I'll stay for a while, but I can't guarantee I'll kill him. I'll see what he does the next time he comes. If it's warranted, well... we'll see," his voice trailed as his gaze now roved uncertainly across the wooden floor.

"That is acceptable. You will find he is an evil youkai that does not deserve to live," she clapped her hands and Sarula came running back into the living area. "Sarula will make you comfortable, but please come back later and join me after dinner." She rose from her seat, then turned as she disappeared from his sight to exit the room.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

Sarula led the way through the lower level of the central complex and pointed out several modern and well equipped features of the castle that included such things as a main water well, and an onsen which had a male side and a female side but the water was comfortable, since it was fed from a natural hot water spring. The castle even contained a room with several pit toilets supplied with toilet paper made of washi. Inuyasha was amazed at the internal conveniences. He had never known such things existed. Even when he lived in the house with his mother, they had both bathed and took care of their business outside. It was only when he got to Kagome's time that he'd even seen a bathroom.

Other than pointing out various features of the castle, Sarula barely spoke, as she led him down a long hall that connected the eastern wing to the central complex; but that was fine with him because Inuyasha wanted to think about exactly what he was doing here and what the princess expected him to do. He followed quietly behind Sarula as she made a left turn to another hall and they passed several red-skinned, hollowed eyed looking youkai with bat-like wings, then led him to a bedroom before quickly departing, telling him his food would be there shortly.

There was a large futon prepared for him, but there were also lamps with an acrid scent burning in each of the corners of the room. The scent was just as putrid as what he'd scented in the greeting hall. Why would anyone burn something with such a rotten stench? With his sensitive nose unable to bare it, Inuyasha quickly blew them out and allowed his thoughts to drift back to Princess Edera's words as he collapsed onto the futon.

She wanted him to kill someone who had done nothing to him. Is that why Sesshomaru had turned her down? But no, that youkai lord would help anyone. Still, this was nothing like when he'd killed Naraku. There was no doubt that jerk definitely deserved to die with what he'd done to Kikyo and himself, to Miroku and his father, to Sango and her family. He had made the first attack, and he'd been relentless while he was collecting the jewel shards trying to get stronger.

_Inuyasha, wouldn't you like to stop fighting? Stop and become human. Without the jewel I could live the life of an ordinary women._

Kikyou.

They had been so close. So close to obtaining their objective; Inuyasha sighed heavily. She'd said that over 50 years go. But to him, it seemed like it was only a few years ago after having been sealed for so long. He would have done anything for her. He would have become human for her. He loved her so much, and now she was gone. Kaede-babaa was gone. Every human he knew would also be gone soon.

But this Prince Shushinki was no low-level youkai. He was not even a hanyou. Did he deserve to be killed... by him? He was a prince; it was kind of like Princess Edera had requested his assistance to kill Sesshomaru. You don't just walk up to youkai lords or princes and kill them, do you? There had to be a reason, didn't there? Even though, he was beginning to think that Sesshomaru might deserve it, reason or not. Maybe he could talk to Sarula or some of the other servants to get their take on the situation.

Deciding not to allow himself to get too comfortable just yet, Inuyasha figured he'd follow-up on his decision to locate Sarula. Venturing almost stealthily from his room, he looked down the halls then decided to walk back in the direction he'd come from; but not back to the greeting room, or living area. He didn't want to run into Princess Edera.

As he moved about the halls, there didn't seem to be anyone else in the castle except for the servants; if that's what the princess insisted upon calling them. They were small framed, red skinned creatures that bore bat-like wings, a tail, the fangs and what appeared to be sightless eerie eyes of lesser youkai, but they were all blank-faced females that kept their gaze directed down to the floor. Inuyasha assumed they likely had some kind of sensor ability to find their way. They looked oddly stiff and never spoke a word to him as he passed them, despite his attempts to make contact. If he thought about it, he could admit he found them a bit creepy and he didn't like their scent. They smelled dirty and unclean.

The castle was huge with many twists and turns, as well as several different levels, but after searching for nearly an hour, Inuyasha felt like he'd knocked on every door and searched every room down the long halls on the main level, but he didn't find Sarula anywhere. In fact, he didn't even find any of those sightless youkai in any of the rooms. He didn't even scent their presence in them. Did they stay in the center complex with Princess Edera? But what about Sarula, had she gone out again? Or was she in the main complex with Princess Edera as well? One thing he did note, though, was from what he saw; Sarula wasn't like the other youkai servants in the castle. Like him, she was a hanyou, and could at least communicate, but she seemed strangely out of place. She didn't seem to belong there; and the thing is, maybe he didn't either.

Realizing it had been a very long day with so many things happening, and he was just too tired to continue his search, Inuyasha returned to his room. Sarula was supposed to let him know when dinner was ready. He'd talk to her when she came then.

Settling back onto his futon again, Inuyasha was startled by a knock on the shoji screen door. Jumping to his feet, despite believing it was only Sarula bringing him food, he grabbed his Tetsusaiga nonetheless as he moved toward and opened the door. The young hanyou was shocked, when instead of Sarula; one of those hollowed eyed youkai presented him with what looked like a plate of dead meat still dripping blood as if it was some kind of sauce on the bottom of the plate. Fighting off the choke in the back of his throat, Inuyasha fought the urge to slap the food, if that's what it was called, away.

"I don't eat fresh meat," he said rather rudely, the words literally choking out of him, but he didn't care. If his hostess expected him to stay here for the next couple of weeks, then she needed to realize he was not a youkai and he preferred to have his food cooked. Hell, he wasn't the only hanyou here. What did Sarula eat? "Don't you have any cooked fish, or _anything_ that's cooked?"

The hollow-eyed youkai simply stared at him in amazement before turning away with plate in tow. He was surprised that he could determine what kind of expression it actually had, considering it had expressionless, hollow eyes. But he hoped at least it understood what he'd said.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

Three days into his stay, Inuyasha had seen very little of Princess Edera and nothing of Sarula. The one's he'd seen the most of were those hollowed eyed youkai who couldn't or wouldn't bother to talk to him as they roamed stiffly through the halls. Spying the yellowish red glow of the afternoon sunset though the window in his room, he had barely remembered that it was once again, the night of the new moon. He just scarcely had time to get up and seek some form of safety. Unfortunately, though, he wasn't able to spend the night in his favorite tree. There was no tree; he was not in his village. He was alone in a strange creepy castle locked inside a barrier. But after a few minutes of searching, he managed to find a place behind a desk, hidden in a corner in one of the empty rooms down one of the long halls, and he stayed out of sight as he tried not to shake too much while waiting for the sun to rise. The last thing he needed or wanted was to wake up and find out that he was once more indebted to Sesshomaru; although he owed him several times already, he certainly didn't need to find that once more that youkai had stooped to actually saving his life while he was in human form.

But the thing that repeatedly ran though his mind as he cowered in the corner trying to stay out of sight, were his brother's words.

_I do not hate you._

If only he truly meant it.

Though not totally convinced of his safety this time, at least, things had ended uneventfully; that, he was grateful for; as the sun began to rise.

With each day that passed after that, Inuyasha found Sesshomaru's words harder and harder to believe. He had really enjoyed spending time with him that last night. And for a little while, at least, they had not fought, or gotten angry at each other, but clearly his brother respected him less than he did that stupid Jaken, whom he sends to get fish he doesn't even eat.

_She'd be wasting her time on a hanyou like you._

As far as the castle went, though, with all those strange odors floating about, it had to be as hard for a wolf hanyou as it was for him. This castle had hollow eyed youkai creeping about who kept lighting stinking oil lamps in his room. There was no one to fight with, no bubbly little girl begging him to take her to see her lord, no bratty little buggers trying to touch his ears, no villagers in need of wood. No Kaede-babaa to bounce ideas off of. But he knew he'd never have that again. It had nearly been a week, and Inuyasha had to admit he was missing home, just a little. He was missing Kaede-babaa, Kikyou, Sango, Miroku and even Kagome. He was missing his life the way it used to be.

But did that mean he wanted to go back? There wasn't anything to go back to.

_I do not hate you._

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

Inuyasha didn't have much to do during the day except wander out to the rear of the castle and enjoy the view. Outside, was the only place he could go to escape the putrid odor that seemed to permeate the entire eastern wing he stayed in. It wasn't his forest, but it did have the beautiful gardens with unbelievable flowering trees, ponds and walkways that Sarula had spoken about. Even though Princess Edera had left him alone during the day; practically every night during his stay, she had insisted he join her after dinner.

On his second day, Inuyasha had asked the princess about the odor that permeated the castle, but she'd dismissed it, saying it was a necessary hell based potion that needed to be burned if they would have any chance of knowing if Prince Shushinki was lurking about. Being an exterminator from hell, she declared he would be unable to breathe freely as long as the scent protected the castle. Though he didn't know why, Inuyasha either didn't quite believe it or just didn't understand. If Prince Shushinki was a youkai from hell; why would he be affected by a hell based potion? But he didn't really understand magic anyway, and didn't even know what kind of questions to ask about it, but he did decide it might be best not to mention that he blew out the lamps that burned in his room.

At first when he joined the princess, he'd been reluctant to tell her anything, suspecting some kind of trick or ploy on her part; she was a youkai after all. But then finally, he began to open up, just a little, but only discussed events related to his hunt for Naraku. He didn't feel comfortable talking to this youkai about his personal life.  
Eventually, though, Inuyasha knew he had to ask.  
"You still haven't told me what you really want with me," he said, as he watched her intently. Surprisingly, he thought she was truly charming; he would never have thought he'd ever think such a thing about a full blooded youkai, but he'd never thought a youkai would ever find anything interesting about him and she seemed to truly enjoy spending time with him, a hanyou.

But despite her easy temper, soft smiles and lilting laughter, some part of him kept telling him not to trust her. But he didn't know why. She had done nothing for him to be mistrustful of. She had not dug her claws into his throat, spewing deadly poison into him. She had not clobbered him with steel-like fists, or called him a filthy hanyou. He did wonder if it was because of his mistrust for Sesshomaru that he felt he shouldn't trust her either, but he realized it was probably because of practically every youkai he had ever encountered. She was the first youkai he could say he ever thought was genuinely nice. Even though Kagura had been helpful in the end; she had never been nice, not to him.

_I formed a bond with wind Sorceress Kagura._

No, she'd never been nice to him. So why was Princess Edera being so nice; some part of him kept asking. He hadn't even done anything to help her yet. "I mean, I know you were angling to bring Sesshomaru here, not me. So what happened with that; why'd you give up on him?" He stoked the fire in the pit with a nearby metal rod, trying to appear disinterested. But in truth, he wanted to hear from her mouth what Sesshomaru had said, and much to his dismay he heard an earful.

"Yes, Lord Sesshomaru is a powerful youkai, I admit," she began, taking a sip of her tea; leaving Inuyasha to wonder what she loved about it so much. Not only its taste, but even its scent was displeasing to his nose; but it was something she insisted upon him joining her for every night. "That is why I sought his assistance at first."

Her brown eyes sparkled with a brightness that Inuyasha thought was attractive. He'd noticed that she seemed to get more and more attractive to him every day, but he kept telling himself that it was simply because she was the first full blooded youkai who had ever treated him with any respect. And somehow, that seemed appealing to him. His brother certainly never did. But he couldn't dismiss the fact that her kindness came at a time when he was feeling heartbroken after losing Kaede-babaa and it was the only thing that kept him sane.

"But alas, Lord Sesshomaru has no regard for anyone save himself, I suppose," she sighed heavily. "I suppose things are simply done differently in the west than they are done here in the south."

Inuyasha agreed, when he saw her pick up an osenbei and nibble on it. Sesshomaru would never eat what he called human food, but Princess Edera, who was a full blooded youkai, seemed to love them and insisted he enjoy them as well. Although he was certain she likely preferred raw meat herself if that food that was brought to his room that first night was an example of what she generally ate. Since then, he'd been provided some overcooked beef and various steamed vegetables. He couldn't exactly say he enjoyed it, but it was certainly better than that dead meat would have been.

"But he absolutely came out and told me, he would not assist me in such a menial battle; despite the fact that I pleaded with him and told him everyone in my castle would die without assistance," as if experiencing the utter catastrophe that would have befallen her, Princess Edera swooned against the back of her chair. "But of course, that meant nothing to him. When I told him I knew he had a brother, and that perhaps you could help me in his stead. He nearly laughed and said I would be wasting my time on a worthless hanyou like you," she smiled at him as if she was saying something so entirely unassociated with him, but he realized it was probably just her way of saying she did not believe any of it. "When I told him I had heard that you must have great strength since I knew you defeated the hanyou whose abilities had been greatly enhanced by the shikon no tama, he simply said, you, yourself would have died, if he had not been there to assist you."

Inuyasha had gotten his wish. He heard so much that his head was reeling by the time he left the room, he could barely walk upright as his knees wobbled beneath him and he simply fell back against an exterior wall, pressing his back against the cool brick. No, Sesshomaru wouldn't have said ... But despite the fact that some distant part of him screamed that he should not believe what the princess had said, he had to admit that his brother would have said exactly that. He'd always hated him, never respected him, and treated him like he was nothing more than trash.

Hearing the princess' movements as she seemed to be headed directly toward him, Inuyasha silently leapt down the hall in hasty bounds. Somehow, he managed to turn corner after corner until he was at the far end of the eastern wing, safely tucked behind the sliding shoji screen of the room he'd been using. Only then did he allow himself to stop; but not to think; there was no way he wanted to think now. If he had his way he'd carve Princess Edera's words right out of his stupid head.

_I do not hate you._

Locked in confusion, Inuyasha wondered. Why had Sesshomaru, even for a short time, treated him like he cared? Why had he stopped hunting the Tetsusaiga? Why had he stooped to saving his life, if he didn't give a crap about him?

_I should have let you die._

Inuyasha flinched, shaking his head rapidly as if to dislodge the memory completely. Sesshomaru could have let him die and simply taken the Tetsusaiga straight from dead body. If he did, he would have three swords, just like their oyaji had. But he hadn't. It was like he didn't even care about the sword anymore. Frustrated, Inuyasha knew he was missing something. But for the life of him, he couldn't figure out what it was.

So, utterly disturbed by the youkai princess's words, Inuyasha did not search for Sarula that night.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

Five nights and four days, Inuyasha had been in the castle. Every night after dinner, and his little chats with Princess Edera, he continued to scour the castle in search of Sarula. But she was turning out to be a very elusive hanyou; she had never once come to his room after she'd brought him to it. It was always one of those hollow-eyed low level youkai who never spoke a word. Inuyasha could probably guess why this Prince Shushinki was out to kill them, he wouldn't mind doing that himself; they were so annoying to be around. But he'd never found Sarula. The only time he ever saw even the tail end of her was with Princess Edera, and he couldn't exactly talk to her on those occasions, but he had to find a way, because one thing Inuyasha was seriously beginning to realize is that something wasn't right in this castle. Not to mention, he wasn't all that sure about believing anything Princess Edera told him. Some distant part of him kept telling him not to; but was that simply because he still wanted to believe in his Sesshomaru? Was it because he simply still wanted to hope?

After nearly a week of fruitless searching, Inuyasha decided he would take a different approach this night. So after he left Princess Edera, he did not return to his room. Instead he waited just outside the door of the living area. He knew Sarula would visit her mistress eventually; he would simply wait until then. Surprisingly, his wait wasn't long. Sarula arrived within minutes of his departure as if she'd been waiting just outside of the room herself, but he hadn't scented her; probably because of the stench that permeated the room. Sarula entered the room and spoke to her mistress for a couple of minutes, then exited.

Inuyasha assumed she must reside in the central structure along with Princess Edera. That was pretty much the only part of the castle he had not searched. But that was because the last thing he wanted to do, was run into the princess while he was searching for Sarula. And he certainly didn't want to run into a swarm of those hollow eyed youkai lurking about.

Following several feet behind Sarula, Inuyasha knew her sense of smell would be as good as his own, so he wanted to keep out of her scent path, though he kept her in his. Down the hallways she traveled with Inuyasha one hallway back. He followed her through a door and surprisingly down some stairs; something he had not expected. All the while, he continued sniffing her scent and following down more and more steps that lead below ground until she arrived in what appeared to be some kind of underground cavern. No, not a cavern, more like a dungeon; but he continued to follow until she entered what looked like a room that was apparently on fire as smoke drifted randomly through the door.

Where was she going? Inuyasha wondered. Was the castle on fire? Did Sarula come down here to put it out by herself? But how would she have known there was a fire? She had headed straight here after she left the princess.

Inuyasha scented the strong smell of wolf dogs around the bend. Those must be the dogs Princess Edera had brought with her to Sesshomaru's camp. He wondered if they scented him as well, but since they made no sounds of recognition, he assumed he was safe. A few minutes later, he slipped into the smoke filled room behind Sarula to find himself staring into her panicked glare as she whipped her head around to face him.

"Master Inuyasha, what are you doing here?" she cried out. Gone was the relatively composed hanyou he'd seen when she approached him in his forest and more intense was the distress he thought he'd seen in her eyes ever since then. In front of him, what he saw was a frightened - no - deathly frightened, visibly shaken young wolf hanyou. Inuyasha could barely believe the difference, but one thing it did tell him was that he was right, something was definitely wrong here in this castle.

"Just Inuyasha," he said absently, as he turned his head to study the room. "I am not your master. I am not anyone's master," he responded taking in the scene around him. The room he'd entered was dark, damp and musty, that is, if you could call it a room. It was a long narrow space with no doors that looked more like some kind of stable than an actual room. But from what he recalled seeing from the outside of the castle, the stable was on the other end; at least that was where he had seen an entry. This room had no windows and only the single door for entry and exit. At the far end of the long room, was a small makeshift fire pit with several stones forming its sides. It was currently being used to cook some kind of meat. The smoke was too much for the windowless room, but another young - no - a very young wolf hanyou sat there fanning the smoke away as best she could in an attempt to keep it from overwhelming the space. She looked like she was just slightly older than Rin was, certainly not much older than he was when Sesshomaru had left him alone.

The room was more like a hole cut into the hill, with even more holes piercing and crumbling what was supposed to be its walls. A rotting stinking hole whose stench cloaked by smoke slammed at Inuyasha's sensitive nose as he pressed the back of his palm against it to block out the scent; the stench had to have affected the wolf hanyou's as well. A dirty, slimy futon mattress rested along the back wall of the room. It was clear the two hanyou's made their bed there.

Though the room had but two small candles to light its walls, Inuyasha could see the bright wide-eyed glare of Sarula's eyes, as his own brain tried desperately to figure out what he was looking at, truly meant. What were these young girls doing down in this hole?

"What's going on here? Is this where you stay?" Inuyasha demanded finally. "Are you trapped here or something? Is this why I didn't find you upstairs with all those empty rooms up there? What's going on here?" he demanded again. "Who is she?" Inuyasha threw out the questions but Sarula seemed to have only heard his last one as she followed hastily behind the younger hanyou who had scurried to the mattress and wrapped her arms around her knees.

"You'd better go Master Inuyasha," Sarula swallowed and drew in a deep breath. "My Mistress will be furious if she finds you down here. And if she does, she'll kill you, she'll kill all of us."

"What's going on here?" Inuyasha demanded, his eyes still scanning the room in disbelief, as he tried to approach the two hanyous.

Sarula smothered a small cry deep in her lungs, as she wrapped the young hanyou even more tightly in her arms.

Inuyasha froze.

"Please go," Sarula cried.

"Not until you tell me what the hell's going on here?" Inuyasha nearly growled then lightened his tone slightly before adding. "I can help."

"Please..., please leave," Sarula insisted. Her chest tight, her jaws clenched as she frantically clutched the little hanyou's head to her bosom; sharp, wide brown eyes pleading for his departure.

"Maybe he can help sister; tell him," the little hanyou cried in a soft, beaten voice as she struggled to push her head away from her sister's chest and look into her eyes.

"He can't help. He won't. The Mistress will kill us," Sarula gripped her sister's shoulder's shaking her, as if trying to shake sense into her.

"I will," Inuyasha insisted. "And your mistress is not going to kill anyone, just tell me what's going on here," he said fighting to keep his voice below a bark. But he wanted to scream at them. Clearly these hanyou were in trouble but wouldn't tell him how, or why-how could they be so stupid?

"Sarula tell him please. Maybe he _can_ help."

"He can't help Sasuki. He can't," she nearly screamed, then turned to Inuyasha. "Get out of here," she ordered stifling an almost muffled cry, as she tried to keep her own voice low.

"Okay, look," Inuyasha knelt in front of them. "I have a very powerful sword here. Your mistress has already told you that, hasn't she?" he fondled the tsuka of his Tetsusaiga. "Well, she's right. I can kill anything with this sword." Inuyasha said and waited as he studied Sarula's pleading eyes.

But Sarula would not look at him as she turned away, burying her face into her sister's hair. "Get out," she pleaded weakly.

Inuyasha continued to study them, to study the room. He didn't know what to do. How could he convince them that he could help, that he wanted to help? "Look, you think about this hole you're stuck in and decide what you want to do," he said, realizing he wasn't going to get anything out of her tonight. But he'd give her time. "I'll be back here tomorrow night to find out," Inuyasha insisted. Maybe her sister or her own hopes would be able to convince her by then. "I don't know what the hell is going on in this damned castle, but you decide what you want to tell me. If you want to get out of here; I'll get you out. I'll get us all out, because I'm leaving here tomorrow night with or without you."

"Sarula ..." The young hanyou pleaded.

"Sasuki," Sarula said warningly. "Please go," she turned toward Inuyasha, her eyes pooling with water.

"You think about what I said," Inuyasha replied, rising and heading to the room's exit. "Don't worry about your mistress, just believe me," he turned his head to study the young girls once more. "I _can_ get you out if that's what you want." He paused briefly before exiting finally, heading back to his room as quickly as he could. He didn't want Princess Edera or one of those hollow-eyed youkai finding him down there. If they did, he knew it wasn't going to be good for Sarula or her sister or maybe even for him.

**A/N: Okay sorry, this chapter did more background setting than anything, but it did have some important detail in it. Anyway, hope you enjoyed it. Next up Lord Sesshomaru. Exactly what is he thinking? A better chapter is coming soon along with another oc. An OC that Sesshomaru is not going to want to work with but he will have to in the end and she will lead him down an interesting path.**

Byôbu - (folding screen)  
Irimoya style rooflines - A hip roof (sloping down on all four sides) integrated on two opposing sides with a gable. It can also be described in English as a hip-and-gable, gablet, or (more ambiguously) Dutch gable roof.  
Ningyou youkai - (puppet demons)  
onsen - (public hot spring water bathing room)  
osenbei - (rice cracker – traditional cracker basically made of rice, water and soy sauce)  
Shikon no Tama - (Sacred jewel of four souls)  
tsuka - (hilt)  
washi - (traditional Japanese paper) 


	16. Chapter 16 The Miko's Death

**A/N: Hello my lovelies. Yes, a new update. Last time Inuyasha ran off in an attempt to help Princess Edera simply because he could not trust his brother. But at least he asked the princess what it was that Sesshomaru had said when she came to him and asked for his brother's assistance. But as it turned out, she didn't say anything good. Other than saying that he at least questions whether or not he should trust her, I'm afraid Inuyasha does seem to be more trusting of her than he is of his older brother. Is that because of Sesshomaru's cruelty over the years? **

**Well what was Sesshomaru doing all this time? Maybe now, we'll see if he even cares that his brother is gone. We pick up with Sesshomaru the day after Kaede died.**

**Sesshomaru & Inuyasha: Kyoudai de Kōtetsu  
Sesshomaru & Inuyasha: Brothers in Arms**

Shō 16 - Za Miko's **Jisei****  
Chapter 16-The Miko's Death**

Sesshomaru was a thinker; had been so all his life. He had always been more of a thinker than a communicator. But lately, he'd found himself thinking more than he ever had before. The youkai lord would be the first to admit he did not like the path his thoughts had taken of late. In addition to his thoughts on his chichi-ue's death and what he might be required to do to resolve it, the hanyou, himself, had occupied his thoughts excessively. Previously his thoughts had centered on what needed to be done, not what had been done, but now he found himself focusing on the events that previously occurred both for his chichi-ue and for that hanyou. He was uncertain if he cared for these new lines of thought.

He had made one final attempt to reach that hanyou before he had departed to meet with the slayer. "Perhaps you will consider traveling with me for a month; that is, if you believe you can survive without your villagers." But having not received a response after several moments, he had grown annoyed and had simply added. "Do as you wish."

That hanyou was so unpredictable. His moods turned instantly. He clung more to his human aspects than to his youkai traits. His mind was warped with human tendencies, traits and frailties. Something this Sesshomaru had hoped to change, but he wondered if he ever could. Perhaps he had allowed him to associate with humans for far too long; he wondered now, if it was even too late for the hanyou to acknowledge who and what he was and truly embrace it.

Now, Sesshomaru found himself growing angered at the thought that the hanyou should have returned yesterday afternoon, but he had not. He had not returned this morning, either. Rin had been awaiting his return, but now, Sesshomaru could see her disappointment. Had he gotten so involved with his human friends that he cared not that he disappointed Rin?

She did not complain. Rin never complained. But the disappointment in her eyes was clearly visible as she silently occupied herself by bathing Ah-Un yet again. Yesterday she had excitedly repeated the possibility of going to train with the slayer. But today, she had grown sullen and withdrawn after the hanyou had failed to return. That hanyou tried this daiyoukai's patience. Youkai did not behave so. An honorable youkai's word was his bond.

But the hanyou; just when he thought he understood him; Sesshomaru found he did not. From his reluctance before his departure, it was clear this was not going to work. That hanyou's petty little temper tantrums were unbecoming. He had made it obvious that he did not wish to travel with him; but must he disappoint Rin as well? Had he no honor?

Unable to bear Rin's silence another minute, Sesshomaru decided that he would find that wretched hanyou, and he would ensure that he explained himself. If he did not wish to behave as a daiyoukai's son, he would simply sever all ties to him. His chichi-ue would simply have to understand.

But he had said it would be his objective. Did this now mean that he, Sesshomaru, had failed in obtaining his goal? No, he would not allow that hanyou's foolish antics to result in his defeat. This daiyoukai failed at nothing.

Leaving Rin with Jaken and Ah-Un, the youkai lord set out to locate his wretched half-brother. Upon exiting his camp, however, he was surprised to find the faint traces of the hanyou's still lingering scent had not headed in the direction he had anticipated. Instead, he found that it clearly headed back toward his village. Had he changed his mind about the slayer? Had he decided to tell the priestess that they would keep Rin and take her on patrol with them? If so, why had he not yet returned? Taking to the air, Sesshomaru remained uncertain, but he was determined to find out.

Approaching the hanyou's forest, the youkai lord slowed above the uncontrolled destructive sight that marred the earth beneath his sight-the hanyou's Tetsusaiga attack. He had nearly obliterated his entire forest, but he had not touched his tree; the one he had been bound to for 50 years. Why had he done that? What purpose would he have of releasing his kaze ni kizu here and with such uncontrolled fire power? Was he in pursuit of some youkai? Sesshomaru was not certain. He scented no youkai that the hanyou could have pursued. But the youkai lord did scent the telltale sign of smoke coming from the village ahead. Perhaps the hanyou was there helping his villagers yet again.

It did not take long for the daiyoukai to lay his sight upon the destruction of the miko's hut; apparently, some kind of accident. But it was over and done at least a day by now; no one was around. But is this why the hanyou had not yet returned? Sesshomaru wondered as he lowered himself to the center of the destruction. Immediately, he froze as he scented it; swirling through the air; overpowering the scent of smoldering smoke and soot; knocking him back on his heels because of its unfamiliarity. This was not some accidental fire caused by the miko's fire pit. Beyond the scent of burning wood, was the strong scent of youkai fire power. This fire had been deliberately caused by youkai.

He could also scent the miko's death. He could see her spiritual arrows strewn haphazardly about the floor. She had tried to put up a defense, but she had died here. Sesshomaru's thoughts instantly flew to the realization that if the hanyou had not brought Rin to him, she would have been here as well... The youkai lord shook his head, dislodging that thought. But Rin! What would he do with her now? There was no miko to leave her with. He would have to keep her. How could he tell her why? He could not. He could not break her heart so. He knew she cared for the miko. But she had a way of surmising the true issues. Would she surmise this? What would he say if she asked? But more importantly, why had youkai wanted to kill the miko? Was it because of what she was? A single miko, though, posed no threat to any youkai of power. He could scent the hanyou's presence in the midst of the still smoldering wood. Is this what had caused the hanyou's destruction of his forest? Sesshomaru knew he had cared for her as well. Had he pursued the youkai responsible?

But why had youkai done this? And who were they? He did not recognize their scent. Their breed was clearly not of the western lands. They scented of the souls of dead youkai and earth. No, not earth; it scented of earth, but it was different. Slightly familiar, yet unknown; Sesshomaru could not remember. He had scented the souls of dead youkai just recently; through that Princess Edera of the southern lands, in fact. Had she returned and killed the miko? No, this scent was not her. The souls of dead youkai he scented now were different. They were an abomination. And that earth. What was that scent of dried earth that was not quite earth? Sesshomaru wondered as he continued to take in the scent, trying to determine what that familiar yet unknown earth was. He knew they were not high-level youkai such as him; mid-level at best. With the level of fire power that surrounded the hut, he knew that several youkai had initiated this fire.

The youkai lord strolled slowly through the destruction at his feet; kicking aside a still smoldering log; inhaling the soot and smoke; inhaling the scent of dead youkai souls and dried non-earth. This was not unfamiliar. He had strolled through fire burned rubble once before; slightly over 200 years ago, in fact. It was an issue he had not yet resolved, but he would. He would resolve them both, Sesshomaru muttered angrily to himself; uncertain if his anger was from then or now. But he knew he would know what youkai abomination would dare enter his land and cause such destruction.

Their scent brought back memories of the miko the hanyou had loved-a reformed mortal. Was this what he was dealing with now? Reformed youkai souls? But reformed by whom and from what? But what youkai would dare enter his lands and kill one of his residents?

_His residents? _

Why had such a thought suddenly sprung into his head? How could he possibly have thought such a thing? Was this more of those precarious changes that had affected him of late? But Sesshomaru knew; the miko was indeed one of his residents. Yes, she had cared for Rin; but over the past few days, in the back of his mind he had been considering if he truly intended to rule these western lands, which he was likely to do if he was forced to unseat his haha-ue; he had to accept them all, youkai and humans, as residents of his land. He would have to commit to following in his chichi-ue's footsteps and use his strength as his chichi-ue had done and protect everyone. But could he? A question he still battled with. He was not like his chichi-ue. Despite any recent changes in him, he did not and would not love. But one thing he was certain of; he would find these youkai that had invaded his lands.

Had that foolish hanyou pursued them-alone? But to where? Even he, a full inu youkai, could not scent their path of exit. There was no trace of their scent in the wind. And the attacks in the forest appeared unfocused and lost. Would the hanyou have even scented them above the smoke, Sesshomaru wondered; or had he allowed his sight only to guide his way? If he indeed had pursued them, why had he not sought his assistance? Had he not because he still held such animosity toward this daiyoukai?

Instantly lifting himself into the air, Sesshomaru knew he had to trace the hanyou's path as he began to trail his scent back to his forest. He knew not who these youkai were that had killed the miko, but if the hanyou had indeed pursued them alone, the scent of those reformed souls told him that hanyou may well have more on his hands than he could handle, despite the abilities of his Tetsusaiga.

Retracing the hanyou's steps, Sesshomaru paused at the edge of the village. Here was yet another question for him to consider. Below him, he sighted a pile of freshly dug earth-a shrine. From the scent of it, he knew this was the miko's burial spot and he lightly touched down. Why had the hanyou not sought his assistance for this? Was it because he did not think he would help? Studying the shrine, Sesshomaru realized that the possibilities were far too uncertain. He could not restore life to the miko's bones. The only thing he could do for her now was to ensure that he found the ones responsible and take their lives.

Taking to the air once more, the youkai lord halted just above the point of origin of Inuyasha's Kaze ni kizu attack, and lowered himself to the forest ground. Instantly, he was once more taken aback. He could still scent the hanyou's presence here as it lingered heavy in the air. His humanity reeked with so much pain, so much anger, and so much fury. He had never scented him so. Sesshomaru realized through the scent permeating the air, that his original assumption had been correct. The hanyou had released his sword's power in anger not in attack. He had not realized the miko meant so much to him. Though Sesshomaru knew he continued to protect them, he had not thought anyone in that village could hurt him so. But in truth, he should have known, she was the younger sister of the miko the hanyou had loved after all. A fact which drove the question once more; why had the hanyou not contacted him?

But, as Sesshomaru turned and surveyed the area, he soon scented the presence of another hanyou-a female; a female wolf hanyou, in fact. But he scented nothing else. He did not scent the youkai abomination he had scented in the miko's hut; but the hanyou and the female's scent seemed to have disappeared; vanished. But to where? There was no trace of them in the wind, Sesshomaru realized as he lifted his head in an attempt to scent their path. In fact, there was not even a trace of the female hanyou's arrival. He knew not, from which direction she came. The female's scent seemed to have come from nowhere and disappeared as it had arrived. Their disappearance was not unlike the disappearance of the scent of the abominations who had taken the miko's life. Why would the hanyou go with her; or had he allowed himself to be taken? The youkai lord knew not what any of this meant. He knew only that he would find that hanyou and whatever the abominations were that had killed the miko.

Six nights and five days, Inuyasha had been in the castle. Every night after dinner, and his little chats with Princess Edera, he continued to scour the castle in search of Sarula. But she was turning out to be a very elusive hanyou; she had never once come to his room after she'd brought him to it. It was always one of those hollow-eyed low level youkai who never spoke a word. Inuyasha could probably guess why this Prince Shushinki was out to kill them, he wouldn't mind doing that himself; they were so annoying to be around. But he'd never found Sarula. The only time he ever saw even the tail end of her was when she was with Princess Edera, and he couldn't exactly talk to her on those occasions, but he had to find a way, because one thing Inuyasha was seriously beginning to realize is that something wasn't right in this castle. Not to mention, he wasn't all that sure about believing anything Princess Edera told him. Some distant part of him kept screaming at him not to; but was that simply because he still wanted to believe in his brother? Was it because he simply still wanted to hope?

After nearly a week of fruitless searching, Inuyasha decided he would take a different approach this night. So after he left Princess Edera, he did not return to his room. Instead he waited just outside the door of the living area. He knew Sarula would visit her mistress eventually; he would simply wait until then. Surprisingly, his wait wasn't long. Sarula arrived within minutes of his departure as if she'd been waiting just outside the door on the other side of the room herself, but he hadn't scented her; probably because of the stench that permeated the room. Sarula entered the room and spoke to her mistress for a couple of minutes, then exited.

Inuyasha assumed she must reside in the central structure along with Princess Edera. That was the only part of the castle he had not searched. But that was because the last thing he wanted to do, was run into the princess while he was searching for Sarula. And he certainly didn't want to run into a swarm of those hollow eyed youkai lurking about.

Following several feet, at least one hallway, behind Sarula Inuyasha knew her sense of smell would be as good as his own, so he wanted to keep out of her scent path, though he kept her in his. Down the hallways she traveled with Inuyasha one hallway back. He followed her through a door and surprisingly down some stairs; something he had not expected. All the while, he continued sniffing her scent and following down more and more steps that lead below ground until she arrived in what appeared to be some kind of underground cavern. No, not a cavern, more like a dungeon; but he continued to follow until she entered what looked like a room that was apparently on fire as smoke drifted randomly through the door.

Where was she going? Inuyasha wondered. Was the castle on fire? Did Sarula come down here to put it out by herself? But how would she have known there was a fire? She had headed straight here after she left the princess.

Inuyasha scented the strong smell of wolf dogs around the bend. Those must be the dogs Princess Edera had brought with her to Sesshomaru's camp. He froze, wondering if they scented him as well, but since they made no sounds of recognition, he assumed he was safe. A few minutes later, he slipped into the smoke filled room behind Sarula, bumping his head on the unexpectedly low ceiling and let out a muffled yelp, as he looked up to find himself staring into Sarula's panicked glare as she whipped her head around to face him.

"Master Inuyasha, what are you doing here?" she cried out. Gone was the relatively composed hanyou he'd seen when she approached him in his forest and more intense was the distress he thought he'd seen in her eyes ever since then. In front of him, what he saw was a frightened - no - deathly frightened, visibly shaken young wolf hanyou. Inuyasha could barely believe the difference, but one thing it did tell him was that he was right, something was definitely wrong here in this castle.

"Just Inuyasha," he said absently, as he bent his knees slightly then turned his head to study the room. "I am not your master. I am not anyone's master," he responded taking in the scene around him. The room he'd entered was dark, damp and musty, that is, if you could call it a room. Being only a few inches shorter than him, the top of Sarula's hair tail scraped the ceiling. It was a long narrow space with only one exit door. The room actually looked more like some kind of long stable. But from what he recalled seeing from the outside of the castle, the stable was on the other end, wasn't it; at least that was where he thought he had seen an entry. So what was this? Where was he? This room had no windows and only the single door for entry and exit. At the far end of the long room, was a small makeshift fire pit with several stones forming its sides. It was currently being used to cook some kind of meat. The smoke was too much for the windowless room, but another young - no - a very young wolf hanyou sat there fanning the smoke away as best she could in an attempt to keep it from overwhelming the space. She looked like she was just slightly older than Rin was, certainly not much older than he was when Sesshomaru had left him alone.

The room was more like a long, low-roofed tunnel cut into the hill, with even more holes piercing and crumbling what was supposed to be its walls. A rotting stinking hole whose ranking stench cloaked by smoke slammed at Inuyasha's sensitive nose as he pressed the back of his palm against it to block out the scent; the stench, worse than what he scented upstairs had to have affected the wolf hanyou's as well. A dirty, slimy futon mattress rested along the back wall of the room. Not far away, pressed against the wall, was a dirty, filthy bucket that was nearly overflowing with what appeared to be waste content. It was clear the two hanyou's made their bed there; but that bucket, was that their…?.

Though the room had only two small oil based lamps to light its long crumbling walls, Inuyasha could see the bright wide-eyed glare of Sarula's eyes, as his brain tried desperately to figure out the meaning behind what he was looking at. What were these young girls doing down in this hole?

"What's going on here? Is this where you stay?" Inuyasha demanded finally. "Are you trapped here or something? Is this why I didn't find you upstairs with all those empty rooms up there?" Just the realization of what he was looking at likely meant caused the hanyou to seethe and fume. "I said what's going on here?" he demanded again. "Who is she?" Inuyasha threw out the questions but Sarula seemed to have only heard his last one as she followed hastily behind the younger hanyou who had scurried to the mattress and wrapped her arms around her knees.

"You'd better go Master Inuyasha," Sarula swallowed and drew in a deep breath. "My Mistress will be furious if she finds you down here. And if she does, she'll kill you, she'll kill all of us."

"I said what's going on here?" Inuyasha demanded again, his eyes still scanning the room in disbelief, as he tried to approach the two hanyous.

Sarula smothered a small cry deep in her lungs, as she wrapped the young hanyou even more tightly in her arms.

Seeing their near panic, Inuyasha froze.

"Please go," Sarula cried.

"Not until you tell me what the hell's going on here?" Inuyasha nearly growled then lightened his tone slightly before adding. "I can help."

"Please..., please leave," Sarula insisted, flinging her head from side to side. Her chest tight, her jaws clenched as she frantically clutched the little hanyou's head to her bosom; sharp, wide brown eyes pleading for his departure.

"Maybe he can help sister; tell him," the little hanyou cried in a soft, beaten voice as she struggled to push her head away from her sister's chest and look into her eyes.

"He can't help. He won't. The Mistress will kill us," Sarula gripped her sister's shoulder's shaking her, as if trying to shake sense into her.

"I will," Inuyasha insisted. "And your mistress is not going to kill anyone, just tell me what the hell's going on here," he said fighting to keep his voice below a bark. But he wanted to scream at them. Clearly these hanyou were in trouble but wouldn't tell him how, or why-how could they be so stupid?

"Sarula tell him please. Maybe he _can_ help."

"He can't help Sasuki. He can't," she nearly screamed, then turned to Inuyasha. "Get out of here," she ordered stifling an almost muffled cry, as she tried to keep her own voice low.

"Okay, look," Inuyasha knelt in front of them. "I have a very powerful sword here. Your mistress has already told you about it, hasn't she?" he fondled the tsuka of his Tetsusaiga. "Well, she's right. I can kill anything with this sword." Inuyasha said and waited as he tried to study Sarula's pleading eyes.

But Sarula would not look at him as she turned away, burying her face into her sister's hair. "Get out," she pleaded weakly.

Inuyasha continued to study them, to study the room. He didn't know what to do. How could he convince them that he could help, that he wanted to help? "Look, you think about this hole you're stuck in and decide what you want to do," he said, realizing he wasn't going to get anything out of her tonight. But he'd give her time. "I'll be back here tomorrow night to find out," Inuyasha insisted. Maybe her sister or her own hopes would be able to convince her by then. "I don't know what the hell is going on in this damned castle, but you decide what you want to tell me. If you want to get out of here; I'll get you out. I'll get us all out, because I'm leaving here tomorrow night with or without you."

"Sarula ..." The young hanyou pleaded.

"Sasuki," Sarula said warningly, as she glared angrily at her younger sister. "Please go," she turned toward Inuyasha, her eyes pooling with water.

"You think about what I said," Inuyasha replied, rising and bumping his head once again as he headed to the room's exit. "Don't worry about your mistress, just believe me," he turned his head to study the young girls once more. "I _can_ get you out if that's what you want." He paused briefly to give them a final look before exiting the room and heading back to his own room as quickly as he could. He didn't want Princess Edera or one of those hollow-eyed youkai finding him down there. If they did, he knew it wasn't going to be good for Sarula or her sister or maybe even for him.

Six full days of searching, had revealed no trace of the young hanyou. Sesshomaru had picked up no scent, and neither Jaken, nor Rin and Ah-Un, had seen any signs of him. Sesshomaru had scoured the entire western lands from the air, and on the ground. He had searched through trees, caves, and ponds. He had scoured villages from overhead and plowed through the forest Inuyasha claimed as his own; but nothing. The new moon had come and gone. The last time that had happened, the hanyou had nearly gotten himself killed. In fact, he would have been killed if Sesshomaru, himself had not saved him.

But then; who had been that female wolf hanyou he had scented? Had the hanyou truly gone with her? Why? Sesshomaru had not even scented either of them in the wolf clan or even hanyou wolf clan areas of the western lands. Had the hanyou placed himself in a situation where his life had now been seized?

He had appeared reckless and suicidal on numerous occasions, too easily angered with his random temper tantrums. But no, Sesshomaru could not imagine the hanyou's death. As bone-headed and stubborn as he was, that hanyou had not died. Since he had not scented him with his acute sense of smell, that told the youkai lord one thing; the hanyou could no longer be in the western lands. Alive or dead, he would have scented him. But his scent was gone; as if he had been swallowed by some kind of barrier. Had that been what had happened in his forest when his scent disappeared with that female's? But where had they gone?

Angered, Sesshomaru had cursed him repeatedly; as he found himself retracing areas he had already searched. He did not know why Inuyasha had vanished, only that his disappearance had occurred shortly after he had likely discovered the miko had died. Did his disappearance have something to do with that? But no, the youkai lord was certain there was one reason and one reason only the hanyou had run off. Try as he might, Inuyasha could not forget the past. He would forever see him as a youkai he could never trust.

Before he had disappeared, Sesshomaru had laid a challenge at his feet. He had wanted him to travel with him for a month, just one month, but Inuyasha had remained hesitant as always. Despite giving him the option of training Rin as they traveled, he had shown no desire to leave his villagers. That again, had angered the youkai lord, knowing that the hanyou had no idea what he was. To be so persistent about wanting to associate with those who would bind his youkai spirit and thus control him to their own advantages. But what angered him most was his knowledge that it was not just that the hanyou's okaa-san had raised him as a human, but that the hanyou was likely lost, because his elder brother had not been there to guide him.

Because of his determination to achieve ultimate power, he had left his younger brother to fend for himself when he had barely more ability, than Rin probably had now. But still, recently he had shown a side of himself to his brother that he had shown to no one else. He had concerned himself with him more than he had ever concerned himself with anyone. He had even tried to form a bond, that he had never previously cared about; but Inuyasha had not been as receptive as he had hoped. He was uncertain of its exact cause, but he wondered if the hanyou's hatred of him was too deeply seated to ever change.

Having exhausted all viable searching options, Sesshomaru decided that he would concern himself no longer with that hanyou's affairs. It was not his business to care about Inuyasha's trivial life. He had made his own decision to leave. This Sesshomaru had kept his promise. He had reached out. It was the hanyou who had simply slapped his hand aside. Well, he would concern himself no longer, that hanyou was not his problem.

But the matter was not so easily dismissed when Sesshomaru scented a change in the wind and paused, as he redirected his thoughts. His vision drifted upward as he spotted a figure in the distant sky, moving closer, getting larger; a female youkai flying toward him. Though she carried no visible weapons, she looked like a warrior dressed in some kind of white clothing that draped around her like a second skin, accentuating every inch of her form. It was odd that such a thought entered his head, because he had never concerned himself with such issues, but Sesshomaru found himself wondering how she managed to breathe in such an apparently restrictive garment.

The youkai lord watched as she began to touch down a few feet in front of him. With her long white hair and what he believed he scented of her blood, she seemed to be of the Suzaku clan; but other than their guards while on patrol, he had rarely seen any Suzaku in untold years. But despite her appearance, he knew he had also heard that the Suzaku were not warriors.

He recalled when he had begun to patrol the lands with his chichi-ue. Upon approaching the highly guarded Suzaku compound, his chichi-ue had told him that the story was that about 2000 years before he, himself, had been born, some kind of vicious battle had apparently erupted between the then king and queen. Word was that it was an extremely brutal battle, but the queen had won in the end. But since that time, the Suzaku clan had become a reclusive group. Even though they were not warriors, they offered their services for battles if necessary and paid their levies, so they were essentially left alone, though little has been known about them since that time. Sesshomaru recalled how disgusted he had been to hear of the existence of youkai who were not warriors. But if this youkai was indeed a Suzaku, why would she be here?

"Lord Sesshomaru," she called as she came to a stop, standing in front of him with squared shoulders and a determined gaze. "I am Hidenka Akatsuki, a life sorceress from the western Suzaku clan. Forgive me for coming upon you here, but it has taken so long to find you this past week."

"Life Sorceress?" Sesshomaru repeated. So she was a sorceress; not a warrior as he had originally thought. But she was indeed from the Suzaku clan; perhaps that explained her unusual attire. Still, she was the first such sorceress he had ever seen. From what he understood, life sorceresses were rare beings, even in their own clan. He had never even heard of them until that annoying little flea youkai Myoga had come to him and told him one had been killed nearly 25 years ago. Why had he thought he would care? Unless the one who had been killed, had been the sorceress who had assisted his chichi-ue before he died. He, though, was unsure of the specifics of how that sorceress had been killed, since he had not bothered to ask. But what reason would a life sorceress have to seek him out, he wondered. He had held no previous interest in the Suzaku clan, but neither had they ever sought him out before.

"Yes, I can see aspects of the life of any youkai I touch, if I so choose."

"Why have you come to me?"

"I have touched your brother."

"Inuyasha?" He studied her intently, his golden gaze firmly fixed. He wondered how many times he had told youkai that he had never considered that hanyou his brother. But this time...? He wondered why he did not. It was clear the hanyou wished no association with him; perhaps it would be best if they simply went back to what was comfortable.

But for her to uncharacteristically come to him like this, he knew she would not be bringing good news. By all accounts, the hanyou had been missing for six days, would she have news of why? Even so, what business would the hanyou have with a Suzaku life sorceress? But then, why should he care? If her business was with the hanyou, what concern was it of his? He had sought and not found him this past week. If he chose to be away from him, that was his decision. He would worry about him no longer.

"My business," her voice pierced into his thoughts with clarity and determination. "Is that I have something for your consideration, my lord."

Her tone was blunt and to the point as she interrupted his private musings; and he wondered if she knew exactly what he had been thinking. He had to admit life sorceresses were a dilemma to him, he knew little of them. But he did know they were magical creatures that could read your minds and souls by touching you or some such. He could not say he was pleased by such a concept. To have such an invasion of his internal thoughts were unsettling. The Suzaku clan itself was a quiet, unassuming tribe that was unsettling in itself. Though they resided in his western lands, he'd not had much occasion to encounter them; but he could not say he truly wanted to. In addition to the fact that they were not warriors, their magic was not something he relished. He was a warrior and preferred the use of his own internal fire power. He saw no value in such creatures.

"I know not how you feel about him, Lord Sesshomaru," she continued; clearly intent upon making her point, whatever that might be.

If she had read his thoughts, she seemed not the least bit interested.

"But consider what I say and consider it well. Your brother's life is endangered," she said without even a shift in her eyebrows or a flicker in her expression. She was all business, nothing more as she studied him with a powerfully determined gaze, her shoulders straight and steady, unwavering even in his presence. Clearly, her objective was meant to shock him into reality; so that he would hear her words and weigh them heavily.

"If you wish to save him," she reached up brushing back her hair, then handed him one of the jagged golden amulets that hung from her ear. "Use this to find me, and I will tell you what needs to be done," she said then immediately lighted to the sky, hovering just in front of him, apparently not caring for an immediate response. "Simply call my name and you will find me instantly. But let me say this, my lord. Settle your thoughts before you do; if you care for him not, do not come. I will know your heart and will be unable to assist you; in which case, the young master will die. If that is what you wish, then we are done," she called out then departed, as she energized her youki and flew away. She was gone as quickly as she had arrived.

Sesshomaru did not move; he simply stared with a narrowed golden gaze and watched the position recently vacated by the departing youkai sorceress. Never had he received such a challenge. He should have killed her for such words. No youkai had ever dared speak to him in such a manner. Why had he not killed her? Why had he not killed that other sorceress as well? He was a warrior, but twice, he had not killed the youkai who annoyed him. Was it because they were female? But no, that had never mattered to him before. If anything, it was likely because of these useless changes taking place in his heart. He was becoming far too lenient. How else could he explain expending so much effort to locate that hanyou this past week?

But that mattered not now. He could always kill them later. If either of them dared think he would not kill them because they were females, then they would find themselves sadly mistaken.

Still, so boldly clear and succinct she had been. She had not bothered to tell him what it was she truly did; he assumed that was because she thought he already knew. She had asked only if he cared enough to save Inuyasha; from whom or what, he knew not. She would not say. The life sorceress had not come to coddle him or to ease his heart's conflict. That, he supposed, was for him to do. The hanyou, though, was foolish and had tested him many times. He had chosen to run of his own accord; was that now to be his concern?

Their last true conversation though, had opened a door, should he now let it close?

Hidenka Akatsuki was a life sorceress-a soul reader. From what he had heard over the years, she could not read his soul unless she touched him, but she could sense his heart. He was uncertain how that was done, but she had given him time to consider his thoughts; which meant she had likely already sensed the anger he now felt toward that hanyou.

But he was not a fool. He knew the hanyou had disappeared for one reason. When all was said and done, Inuyasha still looked at him and saw nothing more than the youkai lord he had fought for so many years. Their discussions over the past weeks clearly meant nothing to him. The friendship he had attempted to forge meant nothing to him. The fact that he had saved his life on numerous occasions also meant nothing. Should he even bother trying again? Granted, he could not show the kind of affection Inuyasha himself was capable of demonstrating, but were not such displays of emotions valueless? They did nothing to assist you in battle; they were not even required to obtain a mate; so why should he be required to show such friendship to that hanyou to gain his trust; but... he _had_ tried had he not? Had not that last night been ...

_I don't need anything from you!_

That idiotic fool of a hanyou; what trouble did he now find himself in?

_Stuck-up youkai._

Sesshomaru closed his eyes. He would no longer concern himself; that hanyou had run of his own accord. After such acts, this daiyoukai cared not. He held no further interest in him.

And yet, in some inexplicable way, the youkai lord knew that he did. Somehow, despite all his internal pride, he found it impossible to dismiss the torment he had seen when the hanyou had demanded answers from the elder brother who had forsaken him when he was young. He, himself, had been sieged by such conflict. A conflict, he had never before felt, because he had never before concerned himself with the issues of others. But for reasons this Sesshomaru had yet to understand, it was impossible to forget the face that literally half begged his elder brother to take his life. The face of the hanyou who clearly sought only some form of acceptance as he somehow had found it in himself to ask:

_Do you care for me?_

But did he truly care enough for him to foolishly betray his own pride; to violate the fundamental principle that he had lived by all his life, that he would concern himself not with the issues of others; that he would be manipulated by no one; that he would care not for any creature in this world, save himself. Should he now go to a life sorceress, of all youkai, and request _her_ assistance in locating him? Would that not be a debt he would be forced to repay? And for what? A hanyou who, despite their conversation, still trusted him not.

This daiyoukai went to no one to request assistance of any kind; he was the lord of the western lands. He needed no one. But he knew not where that hanyou was, or what trouble he currently found himself in. The life sorceress, though, seemed to possess such knowledge.

But clearly it was not her responsibility to save the hanyou. But did that mean it was his? If he went to her, though, what level of intrusion would he have to permit? What secrets would be revealed through such a process? What debt would he be compelled to repay for her assistance in helping him locate a hanyou that hated him? Would that hanyou truly be worth it?

No, Inuyasha was definitely not worth the sacrifice of his own pride. To pursue a hanyou who would prefer to disappear; to run away; rather than to trust his elder brother was unacceptable. Except for his foolish act that had caused him to be sealed for so long, he had lived and survived for over 200 years. He was well capable of finding his own way. And was it not his way to find?

Yes, he had chosen to leave his own brother, but he had also chosen to leave those human villagers; should this Sesshomaru not be grateful for that, at least?

_Sesshomaru. Do you have something to protect?_

Except - for the vow he had made. Could he truly forsake his own oath? He was a youkai of honor. It was beneath him to make such a vow and turn against it. And then, he could still clearly see the pain and agony in the hanyou's eyes before he had turned away that night. But it was that face he could not forget; the face, whose torment, he knew, was most likely caused by him.

Troubled by that thought, the youkai lord lifted his head to study the path recently vacated by the life sorceress. Fighting the urge to sigh, Sesshomaru pressed the pads of his fingers against the throb pulsating in his temples. Could he deny his own words or betray his own honor by forsaking that hanyou now? That hanyou was his chichi-ue's second son, and try as he might, he could not again forsake him. He had already invested much of his time into this effort; trying to regain his brother's trust; to walk away now, would be unsettling.

Sesshomaru emitted a soft breath as he looked down at the jagged, golden amulet resting in his palm. He could feel a slight pulse emanating from it as it vibrated gently. A magical amulet; but he had known that. The life sorceress had initially come offering her services to the lord of the western lands; he had not gone to her. But it was for his brother's sake that she had come; not her own. To go to her now to obtain some small degree of information would not be much in assistance, would it? Repayment in such an instance would likely only be menial, would it not?

Perhaps, on this occasion, it might be best if he indeed did seek assistance. He had not scented the hanyou in the last few days. He did not believe he was any longer in the western lands; but could he possibly scour the entire country without knowing where to look? To wait longer, the hanyou could die. That was not his chichi-ue's desire, but more importantly, he did not believe it was any longer his.

_Settle your thoughts before you come or he will die. If that is what you wish, then we are done._

Continuing to study the amulet, Sesshomaru took a deep breath, then called the hidenka's name, despite his uncertainty and even his reluctance.

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**A/N:**

**I wanted to point out that some of Sesshomaru's thoughts in this chapter reflected heavily back to chapters 11 and 12, the pain he saw when talking to Inuyasha and those chapters were influenced by a Hella's POISON.**

**Finally, the main characters in my fanfic have been introduced and set. There are still a few more, but they are supporting casts. What I tried to do was tie my main oc Hidenka Akatsuki into the original storyline. Hope it turns out to be believable. **

**Hidenka Akatsuki, who is she? What is a Suzaku? Did she come to tell Sesshomaru the truth? Or is this a trap for him to get him to Princess Edera? Are these two youkai working together? Sesshomaru certainly doesn't seem to like how she spoke to him. He doesn't even seem to trust her magic; but Sesshomaru doesn't like a lot of people. **

**Why is Sarula and her sister down in that dungeon? Surely that's not something they would have chosen for themselves is it, but why wouldn't Sarula tell Inuyasha what's going on? Sometimes it seems the younger ones have more sense than the older ones, why is that?**

**Anyway, hope you enjoyed.**

**chichi-ue - (father)**

**daiyoukai - (great demon lord)**

**hanyou – (half breed)**

**Hidenka Akatsuki - (Princess Aurora)**

**miko – (priestess)**

**Youkai - (demon)**


	17. Chapter 17 The Life Sorceress

**A/N: Last time Sesshomaru met a youkai sorceress by the name of Hidenka Akatsuki. Sesshomaru said her clan was not warriors, and he didn't like the thought of working with a youkai that is not a warrior. Actually, Sesshomaru doesn't really like working with anyone, but he hadn't been able to find his brother after searching for him for almost a week. Since Sesshomaru doesn't know much about her or her clan, he doesn't know if he should trust her but since she seems to know something about Inuyasha's disappearance, the youkai lord is apparently going to take a chance on her. But I guess he feels he can always kill her if she does something he doesn't like.**

**By the way, Sesshomaru also said something about being required to pay her back. Is that a youkai rule or something? Someone helps you and you have to pay them back. If so, how important is that to a youkai lord like Sesshomaru and what would he have to do?**

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Sesshomaru & Inuyasha: Kyoudai de Kōtetsu  
Sesshomaru & Inuyasha: Brothers in Arms

Shō 17 - Za Ikioi Yōjutsusha  
Chapter 17-The Life Sorceress

Sorcery. Definitely not the tool of a true warrior; Sesshomaru thought with a slight tinge of disgust. He was certain he did not enjoy using such types of magic. He was equally positive the life sorceress was a powerful youkai. He believed he had scented her power in her blood. But sorceresses had a tendency to utilize spells, incantations, amulets, and other types of unnatural magic for reasons he did not understand. He could not believe his chichi-ue, a proud and powerful warrior, would have sought, let alone utilized the power of a sorceress, despite where the signs surrounding his death seemed to point. But, in truth, how much did he truly know about him during his final years. Until he had seen it, he had never thought he would have been a youkai who would lay with a human female, let alone provide her his seed. But perhaps this sorceress could be of additional use once the issue with the hanyou was settled. He could, perhaps check with her to see if she knew anything about what had happened when his chichi-ue had died before he went back on patrol. It was an issue that still required settlement.

Despite knowing he would have preferred to fly under his own power; utilizing the sorceress's amulet had been quite different. The youkai lord had been transported through space by employing its use. Now, he found himself standing in front of a waterfall that splashed down from an overhead stream, its vibrant rapid waves thundering and splattering downward; crashing against a surrounding cavern, while flashes of light shimmered the sun's reflection across its clear, blue vibrancy. Behind it, he spotted the life sorceress apparently bathing. How unusual, he thought. Why had she simply not awaited her lord's arrival; unless she did not believe he would come.

Sesshomaru turned and strolled away. He knew this place, he realized, as he allowed his golden vision to scout the area he stood in. He was about four or five miles away from the Suzaku compound; a considerable distance from where he was. Since she said she was the Suzaku hidenka, did she have guards hidden nearby to protect her? Is that why she had brought him here? Or was this place cloaked by magic to conceal her? He did not scent any other youkai about, but he would remain alert; he knew not how much this sorceress could be trusted; despite the fact that she said she had come to him for the hanyou's sake. He knew not how much any one of the Suzaku clan members could be trusted; they had remained secluded for some unknown reason, after all.

Never before, had he sought to request the assistance of another, but here he stood; Sesshomaru thought angrily. Reduced to this level; all for the sake of a hanyou that did not trust him, probably never would.

"Lord Sesshomaru," he heard the hidenka call and gave her a quick glance across his shoulder before turning away again. "You turn away. Surely a mighty warrior lord suffers no embarrassment."

So he had come, but why was he here? Hidenka Akatsuki wondered silently. There was so much energy flowing from him; so much power; so much anger, hatred and conflict. Did he truly not believe she could sense his heart's intent? Did he think she would send him to his brother without knowing if he, himself, would not kill him? She had sought him out because he was a powerful daiyoukai. Had she erred in that decision? She could not go to the young hanyou herself, because he knew her not; and he would have no cause to trust her. But would he trust his brother anymore?

Her lord harbored such hatred within him. Inwardly, he was so different than his outward appearance. He appeared cold and emotionless, but he burned with such power and passion. She had never sensed the heart of such a mighty warrior before. There was so much turmoil within him; he trusted no one. He was a powerful youkai indeed, to harbor such potent emotions inside, yet appear so cold, calm and beautiful. She sensed it yes, but she could also scent it dripping off his body in layers.

But she was not surprised, she knew of his intolerances. Though they had not met until earlier, she knew this daiyoukai's nature well. She had heard of his indifferences all her life. He was not at all like his father had been. Through most of her life, she had heard that he had cared for no one, needed no one, and trusted no one. What had happened to him, she wondered. Why had he evolved into such a creature?

But wait, she believed she could sense some level of concern within him for his brother. It was buried deep, behind the hatred and contempt. She believed there was also a deep concern about his father. Something he had tried to bury for so long; but now, for whatever reason, it was resurfacing. She could not determine his true thoughts by sensing him; she could only determine that which tore at his heart. And there was so much there. He likely had no idea that the thoughts in his mind were reflected so intensely in his heart.

"I turned only to spear you embarrassment," Sesshomaru responded across his shoulder; a slight touch of disdain dripping in his voice as he continued to scour the area.

"I would never be embarrassed by having my flesh looked upon by a powerful youkai lord," was the hidenka's unequivocal response, as she retrieved an oversized tenugui to dry herself while continuing to try to sense through the youkai lord's intense emotions.

Oh, she realized what she sensed now; his uppermost hatred was for her. Well, not her specifically, because he knew her not; but for her kind. He had no use for Suzaku sorceresses, or sorceresses of any kind. He had no use for the Suzaku clan at all because they remained secluded. In fact, he had no use for any youkai who were not warriors, like himself.

Hidenka Akatsuki smiled slightly as she realized he was not unlike what it had been said her first generation father had been like so many years ago when they were still warriors, before the Suzaku clan had secluded themselves and had begun to change. But that mattered not. His opinion of her, was unimportant, she had to stand her ground. She was a life sorceress and her job was to ensure that he understood that his brother truly needed his assistance. He had, after all, come for his brother's sake; had he not?

"What is it that you do exactly?" Sesshomaru asked, not the least bit comfortable about allowing her to do whatever it was she was about to do; and then still not quite certain the hanyou was even worth it.

"That depends. When I touch a youkai, I can become one with their soul. When I am close to a youkai, my heart is capable of feeling what their heart feels, if I so choose."

"What has to be done for you to sense my heart?" Sesshomaru grew impatient.

"Nothing, my lord. I am doing that now."

"Do you read minds as well?" He asked, gripped with a touch of irritability.

"Not truly. But since I am capable of feeling your emotions, I essentially _know_ your thoughts. Whatever you feel strongly about is reflected in your heart," the hidenka responded from behind him. "With my sensor abilities I essentially feel as you do _about_ what you do."

"Then where is Inuyasha? What trouble does he find himself in?" Sesshomaru demanded, wanting this process over with. He liked the sound of her abilities even less than before. He felt as if he was being violated but incapable of doing anything to stop it; a highly inconceivable concept for the daiyoukai of the western lands. He knew, without a doubt, that hanyou had truly earned himself a pretty good punch in the face for this humiliation.

"You need not concern yourself, my lord. I have no interest in sensing more than I need to sense. But it is good; you have a single purpose," Hidenka Akatsuki said, as Sesshomaru heard the rustle of clothing behind him. "Your brother will need your level head," she responded across her shoulder, as she stood behind him continuing to dress. "Although I had not anticipated your rapid response."

She could sense it clearly now; the myriad of emotions that consumed him; he had searched for his brother for the past week and found no trace. He truly did not wish the assistance of a sorceress, but decided he had no other choice. Though he had great concern for his brother; more than he wanted to admit; he also held him responsible for forcing him to seek the assistance of another. She smiled softly as she slipped her arm through the sleeve of her hebikinu then wound the sash-like ends of the top part of her outfit around her waist several times and secured it with the tie straps at her waist; tucking the ends in to conceal them beneath the silk material, before finally turning to study him.

Upon hearing no further movement, Sesshomaru turned and handed her the amulet that had magically transported him here when he had called her name. Again, as he took in her attire, he could not possibly imagine how she managed to breathe being so constricted. She seemed far more constricted than even the slayer that had traveled with the hanyou had appeared. The Suzaku clan appeared to be even more unconventional than he had imagined when he had first sighted their compound so many years ago. "If you have sensed my heart, you know what I wish to do, so tell me; where is he?"

"He has been deceived, my lord," she fairly glided toward Sesshomaru and retrieved the amulet from his hand.

"Deceived?"

"Understand that he was approached at a time when he was vulnerable," she said lifting her hand and pushing several strands of still wet hair behind her ear as she returned the amulet to its resting place. "And so it was fairly easy for him to be deceived then."

Sesshomaru studied her as she stared deep into his eyes, as if searching for something, or possibly feeling him out; or at the very least possessed with a reluctance to reveal her complete thoughts; though she had likely sensed all of his.

"The one thing he desires is to gain your respect in the hope that he can someday fight by your side," she paused once more, before lowering her gaze slightly. "He has been deceived into believing you do not."

"By whom?" Sesshomaru demanded; his gaze steady and penetrating. His anger rising at the very thought that that hanyou would so readily believe such a lie, even after he had defiled himself to save his life.

Oh, he had saved him. She had not known, but then the connection to the hanyou's soul had remained dormant in her for so long. But that meant the youkai lord truly does care about him, though he revealed nothing; the hidenka realized as she directed a surprised glance up toward him. "Princess Edera came to you some weeks ago, she sent her servant for him this week."

"Princess Edera?" He recalled the female youkai with the wolf dogs that had attacked him nearly two weeks before; the youkai he should have killed. "How do you know this?"

"As I said, I am a life sorceress," she said, uncertain of his understanding of exactly what her role was. But assuming he may be unaware, since he had shown no previous interest in the entire Suzaku clan that resided in his lands. "I have touched your brother, becoming one soul through our union; his soul called out to me, though he, himself, knows not what disaster awaits him."

"When did he come to you?"

"He did not."

Sesshomaru blinked as he narrowed his gaze. "When did you touch his soul, and why?"

"He was once sealed to a tree," Hidenka Akatsuki looked up and studied him, when she sensed his heart jump in obvious annoyance. It was clear that even though he had reached out to his younger brother, he still had not reconciled himself to some aspects of their differences. But she could sense that he indeed, was trying. "I went to him to see for myself how a young hanyou had allowed such a thing."

"That was quite some time ago."

"I am aware, and even though I knew he had awakened because I felt the connection to his soul stir within me, it remained dormant," Hidenka Akatsuki said feeling slightly overwhelmed by the level of anger growing in the youkai lord's heart. "Since there was no risk to him or I under such conditions, I did nothing to dissolve the connection."

"And?"

"And I found he had been deceived then as well," she said turning to face the horizon; reluctant to say that which she was certain he would find offensive to hear. She had sensed enough about this youkai lord to know he had little respect for his younger brother's choices, despite the fact that he was attempting to reach out.

Sesshomaru studied her quizzically, as a life sorceress of his lands, he was certain she had heard much about him; which he believed was the primary reason she now seemed reluctant to reveal her thoughts.

"The young hanyou seeks an acceptance that eludes him, my lord," she added finally.

Sesshomaru knew that. He had surmised that himself. "I thought life sorceresses touched only the souls of full youkai."

"That is usually the case," the hidenka said as she continued to stare out across the horizon. "Because for most hanyou's the youkai part of their souls might not be strong enough and may well fracture from the intrusion; not unlike a human's soul would," she turned to face him once more. "But this hanyou is the son of my former lord; an extremely powerful warrior as you well know," she said, sensing the turmoil burning within him at the mere mention of his father. She could not help but wonder what troubled him there; but for now, the hanyou was her primary concern. "But at that time, your brother was also magically sealed. Thus, he was protected body and soul. And of course there is the fact that even though I am a life sorceress and can handle the emotions of most hanyou, I myself may not be able to withstand the intense emotions of the human part of their souls; so generally, I do not touch them in such a manner."

"Do you see every part of his life when you wish to?"

The human parts of their souls? She could barely withstand the intensity of emotions that seared through this daiyoukai's soul. He was so powerful; so intense; so extremely angry. She had never sensed such powerful energy before. How could he contain so much power within him? The hidenka wondered as she clasped her hand across her chest and closed her eyes. He was a powerfully complicated youkai; but she had never sensed the heart of anyone on the level of her lord before. So many thoughts tore at him; past, present and future. He battled himself internally to control his emotions. He juggled so many thoughts in his mind, but they were perfectly organized except when it came to his brother. He was so conflicted. He wanted to care for him, but there had been so many years of hatred; he found it difficult to determine how much or whether he should or even if he wanted to care.

"I am sorry, my lord," the hidenka began, unable to withstand his intensity any longer and fully aware that she had no further need to sense his heart, she shut down her sensor abilities. Without a formal enchantment, it would only last for a few hours, until the sun set, at least. But by then, they should have retrieved the young hanyou and parted ways. "I just had to... shutdown my abilities," she inhaled deeply. "But no, when I make a soul to soul connection I see their lives only when I initially make contact with a youkai and focus; or as in the case of your brother, if I am still connected to them, when their soul cries out to me; which your brother's did this week. When that happens, I am capable of experiencing all their thoughts and memories regarding a specific event, whatever their focus is at the time, and because I am a life sorceress, I can see whatever seems wrong in the moment, or is leading to errant choices," she studied him momentarily, crystal blue eyes darting rapidly across his face, then added.

"To answer your unasked question, except for what I sensed in you before I shut down, I saw no part of your life, my lord. Only when your brother's soul called to me, I saw you with Princess Edera through his eyes, though he seems uncertain of what he saw," she did not know exactly what it was or why, but earlier that day the young hanyou's thoughts had been diverted back to his brother and she had seen Lord Sesshomaru and Princess Edera together some weeks ago. She could only assume that Princess Edera's magic somehow blocked a full connection; but then, it could also be because the young hanyou's soul was half human and half youkai; she was uncertain. "He knows not what you know Lord Sesshomaru. He is with Princess Edera but knows her not," she paused as if giving him time to reflect on her words and Sesshomaru did.

Inwardly, his brother was as confused and complicated as the two parts of his own existence, but outwardly, he was as open and as easy to read as footsteps in the sand. Inwardly, he boiled himself in his hatred for all things youkai; he hated their father, why; because he had left him so young? He also hated his elder brother; why, there were likely many reasons for that hatred. He was more youkai than human, a fact made evident in the blood Sesshomaru himself had tasted with his own mouth, but he clung to his human side like a child clinging to a beloved toy. Like that was all he had, all he was. But that was untrue, yet he refused to see it. Or perhaps he was simply incapable of doing so. Or could it be that he simply did not wish to?

"You know the truth of Princess Edera do you not?" Hidenka Akatsuki asked, noting the anger seeping into the youkai lord's golden eyes.

"That she is a succuvex."

"Yes, she is a succuvex," Hidenka Akatsuki said as she fell into deep thought. "Of this, though, I am uncertain, but I do believe she is a succuvex with ties to the demon lands," she said looking up at him; but Sesshomaru had diverted his attention to someplace in the distance. "I know she is capable of calling forth hell's errtu as her army."

"Errtu?" He turned to study her.

"Yes, they are the souls of hell's dead youkai that have been reformed by Lord Balthazar of the demon lands into living fire-breathing beings with wings."

"Reformed youkai?" Sesshomaru wondered if those were the same youkai who had killed the miko. Hidenka Akatsuki said they were reformed youkai souls. Yes, that was what he had scented in the miko's hut; reformed youkai souls that had been reformed from earth that was not earth. He remembered now. That is why the earth they were formed from scented familiar, yet also different. Though he did not remember then, he had scented it before. That soil was from the netherworld. That is why the scent had been familiar. He had scented it several times in fact, when he had entered the netherworld himself to retrieve his chichi-ue's sword, also when he had followed Inuyasha and Naraku after they had entered it in search of that jewel shard, as well as when he had entered it to save Rin.

So did that mean it was Princess Edera who had sent them to kill the miko? Or had she sent them to kill Rin; or had she perhaps been out to kill them both?

_You may well find that those you care for, will no longer care for you._

Had he underestimated her words? Was her statement some kind of veiled threat that should have immediately placed him on the alert? He should have taken her life when he had the opportunity; squashed her plan before she had a chance to put anything in place. Since he did not, did this mean the hanyou's disappearance was truly his fault?

"As a succuvex, Princess Edera is a youkai that drains the strength and devours the souls of trusting male youkai. Your brother Master Inuyasha does not know this," Hidenka Akatsuki said as she interrupted his thoughts. "He understands humans. But unfortunately, the young master knows little of youkai and his soul is now at risk."

"Inuyasha's soul will not be devoured by her," Sesshomaru stated assertively; narrowing his gaze at the life sorceress. "He is not the trusting sort."

"Is he not?" Hidenka Akatsuki tilted her head in query as if questioning his ability to see an unspoken truth. "Are you certain? Or is it that he is not trusting of you?"

Sesshomaru lowered his gaze slightly as he reflected. He knew not what to think of this youkai. He did not know much about her, her clan, or her abilities; but he knew he did not like her knowing his thoughts, or anymore of his heart; despite the fact that her statement was quite probably accurate. Inuyasha did not trust _him_. Even with the progress he had thought they had made, the hanyou's distrust of him, was probably the reason he had been so easily deceived.

"What does she want with Inuyasha?"

"I am afraid I am at a disadvantage in that, my lord."

"A disadvantage?"

"Yes, as you know, your brother does not have a full youkai soul, and thus, even though we are connected, it is a slender connection at best. I am getting only intermittent glances into his circumstances. It could be because of Princess Edera's magic, but I do not know how she would know, except...," Hidenka Akatsuki took a quick, deep breath and closed her eyes as she grew momentarily silent.

Sesshomaru waited for a moment. "Except...?"

The hidenka shook her head and opened her eyes. "There is so much dark magic that permeates that castle. But in addition to him being a hanyou, the connection to your brother's soul has been dormant in me for nearly 50 years, and I cannot push too hard against the human part of his soul for fear of fracturing it, so I cannot direct him as I should be able to with a soul to soul connection."

"Direct him?"

"By that, I do not mean control him," Hidenka Akatsuki said quickly. She did not want her lord to think that this sorceress, whom he already hated and distrusted, would use her abilities to guide a youkai or especially his brother down what may be an errant path. "That is not what I do. But I cannot see and hear all I should, despite our connection. The only thing I can try to do is to try to place doubt in his head."

"Doubt?"

"I suppose one could say I am acting as his inner voice; trying to tell him not to trust her;" Hidenka Akatsuki tried to explain. "Telling him that he should question everything he sees and hears. Because I am certain Princess Edera is not an honorable youkai and would not speak the truth," she grew solemn for a moment. "But the problem is, I am uncertain if I am connecting beyond his human soul," she raised her hand, resting her chin upon it; poised in deep thought. "There is so much pain there."

So much pain. Sesshomaru diverted his gaze downward in reflective thought. He knew the hanyou likely still suffered from losing the miko, but did he still fault him for their past. He was certain he did. That was, why he had run after all. He had seen that pain in his eyes himself when they had spoken. "What do you believe she wants with him?" He asked, having a good idea what Princess Edera had wanted from him-his power. But Inuyasha was a hanyou. He did not possess this daiyoukai's strength despite his sword.

"I know not, but since he is not a full youkai, and though it would be a rarity," Hidenka Akatsuki said thoughtfully as she tried to consider Princess Edera's actual intent for the young hanyou based on what she knew of her. "She might well have an interest in his human soul."

"His human soul?" Sesshomaru repeated making no attempt to conceal his repulsion as he narrowed his gaze; incapable of comprehending that as a conceivable reason. "Why would she want that?"

"I know not, but perhaps you do," the hidenka studied him, as if certain the answer would have to come from him; believing he would have a better understanding of his brother than she would, despite their connection. "There must be value in it, my lord," she continued having not missed the contempt in his voice, but refusing to allow him to be blinded by his hatred. "Perhaps it has an ability that the youkai part of his soul does not."

A youkai that wants a human soul; Sesshomaru considered it. The thought remained incomprehensible. Why would a youkai want Inuyasha's human soul? She was a succuvex, she had taken the souls and power of many youkai, and would probably take the souls and power of many more. What possible value did his brother's human soul possess that a succuvex would think she required. Sesshomaru continued to ponder the possibilities, until the realization finally sank in. "The Tetsusaiga!"

"Excuse me?"

"The fang, Inuyasha's fang!"

"I do not understand."

"Inuyasha's human soul enables him to wield his sword, the Tetsusaiga," he elaborated, realizing she likely had no knowledge of the sword's history. "If that is what she wants, it must be for that purpose. It is a powerful weapon forged from my chichi-ue's left fang." But the new moon had passed. Was he too late? No, he was certain Hidenka Akatsuki would have known if he was. But has some process already been started? Is that why she said Inuyasha would die?

"I see."

"But how would she have known that," Sesshomaru puzzled absently. She was from the southern lands, to his knowledge Inuyasha had never been out of the western lands.

"Knowledge of this Tetsusaiga probably became well known after the death of the possessed hanyou that sought the shikon no tama. I know your brother battled that hanyou for quite some time with what has been called a powerful weapon. Both you and Master Inuyasha defeated him in the end, I believe."

Sesshomaru did not respond, she apparently knew quite a bit about what had happened. He had not thought members of the Suzaku clan held any interest in events outside their compound. He wondered if she had learned about that from reading Inuyasha's soul, or some other method.

"But the problem is, his weapon may well be powerful, but the question is, will he use it?"

"What do you mean? Inuyasha is never without his sword and he never fails to use it if necessary."

"But you know of Princess Edera; so you know she is a very powerful succuvex. I know not how she does it, but she has a method of getting youkai and I am certain, hanyou as well; to trust her. Just being in her presence, your brother is gravely endangered," Hidenka Akatsuki said as her gaze drifted across the horizon once more. "I am uncertain, but Princess Edera may also have many youkai enslaved; but she does command an army of errtu at any rate. They have probably learned quite a bit and reported their knowledge back to her," the hidenka grew unusually quiet, reluctant to reveal the thought that gripped her mind. "But there is one other thing..." her head lowered, as she closed her eyes.

To Sesshomaru, she seemed to be fighting to control some deep seated emotion that pained her.

"What is that?" The youkai lord expected to hear nothing good.

"I stopped myself from saying this earlier, because I thought it had no relevance, but ...," she knew a hint of sadness mixed with a touch of anger entered her voice; but she fought to contain it. "My sister. Princess Edera... devoured the soul of my younger sister many years ago. She was just a child, like your brother, an innocent," she stopped herself, choking on her words; fighting back her tears. Why would she do such a despicable thing in front of her lord? But she could not help it. She missed her sister so much. And to now have to involve herself with Princess Edera once again for the sake of her young master was too much. If her lord did not like her because of her magic, he certainly would not like her because of her tears. She could not allow him to believe he was standing here listening to the advice of an emotionally weak youkai. She knew how much he hated emotional displays and he had probably never seen the tears of a youkai in his life.

Sesshomaru could scent the deep rooted pain emanating from within her; her blood boiled with fury. But was she shedding tears because she cared? With all her fire power, could she truly be a youkai that cared? Clearly she suffered because she had not protected her younger sister. But why would that matter, he wondered as he watched her breathe deeply, as if locking in her emotions, regaining control of herself, remembering who she was and what her goal was. But looking at her now, he knew she likely spoke of the life sorceress that he heard had been killed nearly 25 years ago. He knew now that she was likely too young to have assisted his chichi-ue. Even the youkai standing before him appeared to have been too young to assist the then daiyoukai before his death. He knew little of his chichi-ue's life at the end, but he did not believe he would have aligned himself with a sorceress as young as Hidenka Akatsuki would have been then. But then, he had aligned himself with an even younger human female.

"Now that Master Inuyasha is in her castle," Hidenka Akatsuki continued, having regained her composure. "I am afraid that if she has touched him, she will know what she needs to know."

Directing a narrowed gaze toward her, the youkai lord considered her words. "I thought succuvex devoured only the souls of male youkai."

"That is usually the case, but that is also why Princess Edera is so dangerous," Hidenka Akatsuki turned her head sharply once again, her hair got caught in a gust of wind, causing it to whip up and around her shoulders, as her face again briefly displayed the hatred and anger she fought so fiercely to contain. "She will devour the soul of anyone she believes will benefit her."

Sesshomaru lowered his gaze. The life sorceress harbored a deep hatred for the succuvex, a hatred she tried desperately to control. It was clear she faulted herself for not preventing her younger sister's death. Should he value his own brother's life any less, by leaving him to that succuvex's devious tactics? That was not his intent when he had come to her. "Where is he?"

"At Princess Edera's castle in the southern lands; but it is concealed by a barrier," the hidenka instantly regained her composure as she turned to face her lord, her face no longer reflecting any hint of her inner turmoil. "Since I do not yet know what the possible outcome would be because of the magic that surrounds them, I believe we should simply enter quietly and take Master Inuyasha out. Any grievances with Princess Edera can be settled at a later date."

"Are you suggesting that I, the lord of the western lands, should slink about?" There was no mistaking the bristle in his voice; as Sesshomaru evaluated whether that was the tendency of those who used sorcery. Is that why Princess Edera had sent those errtu to kill the miko, instead of confronting him?

"No, my lord; I am saying that Princess Edera has a barrier around her castle. If you wish I can get you inside and take you to your brother, but I do not know the number of errtu she will call forth when and if she sees you, or what they may do. I can tell you only that they are extremely deadly and it might be best to avoid them for now," she inhaled slightly as if once more haunted by some distant memories. "You are not dressed for battle and it might be best to just go in quietly for an initial evaluation."

Sesshomaru's left brow twitched slightly as he studied her. He resented her suggestion; this Sesshomaru did not slink about for anyone. But he wondered what, if anything, she knew of those errtu that she did not wish to divulge.

Although he did not have his brother's red Tetsusaiga, he was certain he could compel his Bakusaiga to break through any barrier, but said nothing. Perhaps she was correct, an initial silent entry into the castle might be best. He could confront the hanyou and ascertain his condition; he could also possibly determine Princess Edera's fire power. If need be, he would know who and what he was up against, as well as the best approach to take. But he would have no problems killing Princess Edera or any of her errtu that got in his way. He knew instinctively the hanyou would resist his assistance, but he would receive it none-the-less.

"We should go," Sesshomaru commanded, without conceding to anything as he directed his gaze about the grounds once more. He still could not believe the Suzaku hidenka had been out here bathing alone with no guards at least concealed somewhere.

Hidenka Akatsuki followed his gaze with understanding. She had sensed his concerns before. "Trust me my lord, there is no magic here. You need not fear..."

"I fear nothing," Sesshomaru snapped his head around to face her with an opposing glare.

"Forgive me," she said, quickly lowering her own head and directing her gaze to her feet. He was her lord and he was an extremely powerful warrior. She knew he could take her head if he so desired. "I did not intend to offend you by implying such a thing."

Sesshomaru studied her. She was a strong and powerful youkai, he could scent the power in her blood; but for the first time, she seemed genuinely uncomfortable in his presence. He had not intended that. She sought only to assist him. Though he was uncertain from whence his anger came, whether it stemmed from what he was required to do to retrieve the hanyou, or from her suggestion that he should take a stealthy approach; he knew not. But he did know he need not direct any likely anger at the hanyou toward her; he had no reason to make her fear him. He had never been a communicator, but if he truly intended to follow his path as a ruler, he needed to be more considerate to his subjects. Her clan would be one of many he would rule over. She was a hidenka after all, she deserved his respect, and she should receive it.

"Hidenka Akatsuki, your apology is unnecessary," Sesshomaru said frankly, as he studied her with a determined gaze. "There is no reason for further delay. I have no further questions; simply lead me to him," though his words were curt, his tone was not quite as brusque.

"Yes, my lord," the hidenka exhaled her acknowledgement as she flared her youki and took to the air.

Sesshomaru followed behind her.

* * *

A/N: What was that? A crying youkai? Did the hidenka really cry? Why? I don't think I've ever heard of a youkai crying before. It sounds like a human characteristic. Is she human (in disguise)? Seems kind of unlikely, but who knows? We know that other than Rin, Sesshomaru doesn't like humans. So we know he won't like a sorceress who is not a warrior, and one who cries?

Anyway, I'm glad to see even Sesshomaru; the lord of the western land's life doesn't go as smoothly as he planned. There are always those little unexpected events that turn you in a different direction, but something tells me Sesshomaru does not like refocusing.

daiyoukai - (great demon lord)

Errtu - is a chaotic evil demon in the _Dungeons & Dragons_ role-playing game, created by R. A. Salvatore - the errtu in this story, however, are different, created specifically for this work - I admit I liked the name and some aspects of their looks, especially their bat-like wings although my errtu are quite different.  
Hebikinu - youkai serpent skin silk garment that fits the body like a second skin  
Hidenka Akatsuki - (Princess Aurora)  
okaa-san - (mother)  
tenugui - Fast drying and ultra slim Japanese towel (From the Edo period on it became an indispensable utensil for everyday life)  
zangetshuha - (meidou opening)


	18. Chapter 18 Inside the Castle

**A/N: Sorry for the slight delay, but you know, work!**

**Okay, last couple of chapters, Inuyasha finally saw Sarula talking to Princess Edera and decided to follow her to see if he could find out what she had to say about what was going on in that castle. But, he wound up following her to a basement, or perhaps some kind of dungeon that he didn't even know existed, only to find that Sarula also had a young sister there that he didn't know anything about.**

**Sesshomaru actually encountered someone who said she was a life sorceress—Hidenka Akatsuki (a princess from the Suzaku clan). Apparently, she has the ability to read a youkai's thoughts by just standing close to them if she wants to, but she also said she could join their souls together and would know everything about them. Apparently, at some point during the 50 years that Inuyasha had been bound to that tree by Kikyou, she had actually joined souls with him to find out how he had gotten himself into such a predicament. But since Inuyasha is a hanyou and is also concealed behind a barrier that she says is cloaked by dark magic, she is not seeing everything she expects to see, so all she could do, was to try to put doubt in his head—to get him to question everything about Princess Edera.**

**After filling him in on some specifics, including the fact that Inuyasha woul die if Sesshomaru didn't save him, the youkai hidenka told Sesshomaru that she could get him through the barrier surrounding Princess Edera's castle and he could then retrieve his brother.**

**Sesshomaru & Inuyasha: Kyoudai in Kōtetsu  
Sesshomaru & Inuyasha: Brothers in Arms**

Shō 18 - Oku za Jōkaku  
Chapter 18-Inside the Castle

Inuyasha's head pounded with a myriad of confused thoughts that night as he nervously paced in his room; up and down, back and forth, trying to figure out what the hell was going on in this damned castle. But the problem was; everything seemed to be crashing down around him all at once; making it difficult to determine exactly what was real and what wasn't. But he knew it all started with Sarula, and that hole he saw her in, to what Princess Edera had said about Sesshomaru, to Princess Edera, herself, and what her deal really was.

None of it made any sense. The princess seemed nice for a youkai, but still some part of him didn't trust her, but he didn't even know why. Should he not trust her because of Sarula and her sister? Hell, he didn't even know what their deal was either. Maybe it was innocent. Maybe Princess Edera simply had them down there as some form of protection. Sarula had left freely when she came to get him, hadn't she? But she'd also come back. She hadn't told him anything was wrong, and hell, he'd even asked her if she was scared of anything. But her sister... Shit, what the hell was the deal with that? There certainly seemed to be something _she_wanted him to know. But what was it? Should he even care? Sarula damned sure didn't want him to know, whatever it was. What the hell were they hiding in this damned castle?

Hell, even his own thoughts seemed disjointed from himself. He seemed to be getting thoughts in his head and he didn't even know why. He had no idea what he should believe. Princess Edera hadn't done anything to him, but he couldn't get past the thought of what was really going on with Sarula and her sister. Sister? Hell, he hadn't even heard anything about a damned sister before. What was that about? What was she doing here? Why were they hidden down in that dungeon? Hell, who'd stay there if they had a choice? Were they being punished? Why? Whatever the hell was going on here, Sarula's sister certainly seemed to want it to end, even if Sarula didn't. But in all honesty, it seemed _less_ that Sarula didn't _want_ it not to end and _more_ that she was _afraid_of what would happen if her mistress was challenged. But she was just another damned youkai wasn't she? If he pumped her full of shards of his adamant, that would put her down pretty quickly, wouldn't it?

Damn, Inuyasha cursed silently to himself. It had been a long time since he'd had to think through such thoughts on his own. Whenever he got into scrapes like this before, he'd always had Miroku or Sango, or Kagome, Kikyou or even Kaede-babaa to run things across. But now, he was halfway across the country for what? Because of something someone told him Sesshomaru had said? Why had that mattered to him?

Something was wrong here, though; something was very wrong. But for the life of him, he couldn't figure out what it was. Sure, Princess Edera didn't have to tell _him_ anything about what was going on here; this was her castle, and she could do whatever the hell she wanted to, he supposed; but still the thought he just couldn't shake, was, _why_ were those two wolf hanyou stuck in that dungeon while he had this spacious room with a comfortable bed. Is that how the princess treated all her servants? Is that why Sarula had seemed so frightened when he'd first met her? If so, why hadn't she just said something? Hell, why hadn't she said anything when he'd followed her down there? Was it because she really was _that_afraid of her mistress; or was she so afraid of him?

Shit, now that he thought about it, he'd never even seen any of those hollow eyed youkai servants in any of the other rooms, either. Where the hell were they when they weren't prowling the halls? Where they in the central complex like he'd thought, or were they stuck down in some other part of the dungeon as well? Was everyone hidden away because of this Prince Shushinki that Princess Edera was so afraid of? But that made no sense; he'd been here for nearly a week, and the princess had never once mentioned anything about an underground bunker. That was kind of important, wasn't it? If that dungeon was supposed to be some form of protection, shouldn't the princess have mentioned something about it? But had she not done that because it all just a lie? Was everything in this castle nothing more than a huge lie?

But amidst all his confusion about what was really going on in the castle, Inuyasha continued his nervous pacing as he also grappled with thoughts of Sesshomaru and what Princess Edera had said he'd said. That had to be a lie too, then, didn't it? Sesshomaru wouldn't have really said those things if he cared, would he? Besides, Sesshomaru had not said it to him, had he? But he found it impossible to dislodge thoughts of the things he had said to him.

_You filthy hanyou. _

Slipping his Tetsusaiga from his sash and placing it on the floor at the side of his bed, Inuyasha pulled off his haori and his hakama, then threw his clothes and worn, naked body down across the futon that had been prepared for him. But he immediately realized he had been so immersed in thought that he hadn't even noticed that he was once more breathing in the acrid scent of the oil lamps burning in the corners of the room. Shit, he couldn't understand why whoever it was that prepared the room kept lighting them. If it truly was like Princess Edera had said, that it was some kind of hell based potion that would let them know if this Prince Shushinki was lurking about somewhere; why were they so convinced he would be lurking about in his room? It seemed like every time he went out to take so much as a piss and came back those damned things were lit.

Leaping up from the futon, Inuyasha padded his way toward the flickering flames and blew each of them out, wrinkling his nose as the stench of the smoke drifted into his face. Proceeding to the window, he unhooked the shutters and pushed them open in an attempt to air the space and get a little moonlight. He had no idea what was going on in this damned castle, but clearly something was. Just the lighting of those damned lamps made him suspicious for some reason; it was like it was some kind of damned ceremonial ritual or something. But the main thing was its scent. He didn't think anything could smell as bad as those lamps did, unless it was dead for a hell of a long time.

But for now, it was best to just try and get some sleep, although he doubted he'd be able to do that with all these questions pounding his head. But he might as well try to forget about the whole thing until tomorrow, he told himself stubbornly. He was hot and tired and there wasn't anything he could do about it now, anyway. He would try again with Sarula and her sister tomorrow night. If they didn't tell him what he wanted to know then, he would simply use his red Tetsusaiga and break the barrier from the inside and get his own ass outta here. He refused to be trapped inside this castle another night. There were too many secrets flowing around here, and some part of him just kept telling him he shouldn't trust anything going on in this place. And if he couldn't trust anyone else, he figured he'd best trust his own instincts.

Moving back toward his futon, Inuyasha heard a slow rasping sound from behind him, as the door to his room slowly slid open.

_Shit! _

Throwing his naked body across his bed to get to his Tetsusaiga, the hanyou's eyes widened in absolute panic when he saw something large sliding between the open door.

Holding his breath, the hanyou's thoughts ran rampant. Had he been seen talking with Sarula? Had he been seen going down to that dungeon, or perhaps followed coming back? How could he have been so _stupid, _Inuyasha thought wildly, as he bared his teeth into an anguished snarl. He'd put down his sword and now he was going to be _dead. _Wrenching his head to the side, he strained to get a look at his intruder.

"Sesshomaru," he called out, closing his eyes almost in partial relief. Inuyasha breathed deeply as the name forced its way past his clenched teeth when he recognized his brother, almost relieved to see a familiar face. "What the hell..." he regrouped and practically froze as the memory of Princess Edera's words flashed through his head, and the relief that had flowed through him only moments before, was suddenly overwhelmed by a deep-seated conflict. "What the hell are you doing? No, never mind that, what the hell do you want?"

"Quiet," Sesshomaru warned his voice almost a whisper. "I expected to find you damaged," he stated as he moved forward and quickly examined his brother's back, chest and arms, only to find them completely unmarred.

"Damaged," Inuyasha squawked yanking his arm away as he swallowed hard, his eyes cloaking with puzzlement as he stared at him. "What the hell are you talking about? Why would you think that?" Inuyasha asked, watching as the youkai lord strolled back toward the partially opened door, then increased the slit slightly as he peeked through the opening, staring down the hall at goodness knows what. "Do I look damaged to you?" Inuyasha demanded as he reached for his hakama and started to rise slowly, determined to get to the meaning of his brother's presence here.

"No, you do not," Sesshomaru responded placidly, ignoring the hanyou's brusque and angry movements and tone as he practically crawled to the other side of the bed. "Get dressed; we have to get out of here."

"What? Get out of here? Why should I do that?" Inuyasha immediately asked, as he slipped his hakama over his legs, never once taking his eyes off the youkai standing by his door.

Sesshomaru practically snared at him across his shoulder. "Surely you have no intention of remaining here, do you?"

"You asking me to leave?" Inuyasha questioned further as he hurriedly pulled on his hakama. If this youkai had come to fight, he would not be without his armor. "What makes you think I would leave with you?"

"Unless you are a baka, you should have no desire to remain in this castle. And I, personally, have no desire to linger here."

A baka, Inuyasha thought with contempt. That's all that youkai thought he was anyway. "You don't want to linger? I don't give a shit what you do. I didn't ask you to come. In fact, I'm pretty sure nobody asked you to come. Princess Edera doesn't need you. She's got me."

"You?" Sesshomaru retorted, spinning his head to face him as his brows narrowed slightly. The glare in his eyes visible despite the limited amount of light peeking through the partially opened door. "Yes she does have you. But what does she have you for?"  
_When I told him I knew he had a brother, and that perhaps you could help me in his stead. He nearly laughed and said I would be wasting my time on a worthless hanyou like you. _

Inuyasha immediately remembered Princess Edera's words as his blood began to boil. "Say what you want. I don't give a shit what you think. Princess Edera has me because I can help her. She doesn't need your ass here."

_She might well have an interest in his human soul. _

"You, help _**her**_?" Sesshomaru puzzled with a slight degree of disgust at the thought, remembering Hidenka Akatsuki's words. "And just what do you believe you can help her with. You cannot possibly be so foolish as to ..."

"Foolish?" Inuyasha bellowed, hating the sound of that word. "Me? You must be freaking kidding. If anyone in this room is foolish it's you. You're the one who's foolish for coming so far out of your way and sticking your nose in where it doesn't belong." Turning his head just slightly so as he could still keep an eye on him, Inuyasha added a bit more emphasis, just a little louder to make his point. "Just in case you didn't hear me before, nobody wants you here!"

Sesshomaru studied him momentarily. "So you are saying you are here of your own accord?" he inquired, knowing he had not anticipated it would be easy to assist the hanyou, but neither had he thought he would receive such resistance. Somehow, he had thought that after a week here, the hanyou would be anxious to leave.

"My own accord?" Inuyasha slipped his haori over his head as quickly as possible; attempting not to lose sight of that youkai lord for even an instant. "Of course I'm here of my own accord. What, you thought I was kidnapped or some shit? Brought here kicking and screaming?"

"I knew not what had happened to you," Sesshomaru responded coolly, as he refocused his gaze back through the opening of the door. "But I fail to understand what you _are_doing here," he said, finally turning toward the hanyou and sliding the door completely closed behind his back.

"What I'm doing here?" Inuyasha croaked out, masking his confusion over his brother's presence here with gruffness. He thought he'd sounded pretty calm, though, considering he'd just been stormed in on by an unwanted visitor only moments after seeing what he'd witnessed in that basement. In truth, he could just as easily be dead instead of standing here trying to figure out what the hell it was that Sesshomaru truly wanted. "What the hell are you doing here? Nobody called for you."

"You have said that, several times in fact," Sesshomaru said moving forward. "But surely over the years you, of all people, have found that assistance may be required even when one has not asked for it."

"Assist..." Inuyasha moved backward. "Well not this time," he insisted stubbornly. "I damned sure don't need any assistance from you. Just tell me what the hell you are doing here?"

"That is a discussion best left for a later time," Sesshomaru said without moving further, eyeing the hanyou curiously. "For now, we should leave."

"Le-a-ave?"

"Yes," Sesshomaru said, raising the lilt in his voice, a clear indication of his wearied irritation. "We need to leave, quickly!"

"I'm not going anywhere with you," Inuyasha responded stubbornly. Who did he think he was, he wondered; to just come into his room and tell him what to do? Telling him he needed to leave, but not telling him why.

Sesshomaru focused a sharp glare directly at him. "Are you saying you prefer to _remain_in this castle?"

"Yeah, I am," Inuyasha said eyeing the youkai lord suspiciously.

"For what purpose?" Sesshomaru wanted to know, sounding only vaguely interested.

"The princess needs me, and I'm just fine here," Inuyasha allowed his gaze to rove about the room in an attempt to avoid the narrowed golden ones currently staring him down as he tucked the end of his haori back into his hakama, before tying his hikigoshi securely around it. He had no intention of admitting to that youkai that he was just thinking about the fact that he needed to get out of there, himself. "There's no need for me to leave."

Totally not suspecting such a response, Sesshomaru simply studied him in confusion for a moment, then assumed his reluctance to leave may well be because he did not wish to go back to his village where he would be alone, now that the miko had died. And then, perhaps he had forgotten that he had extended him an invitation to accompany him on patrol. "I know about the miko," Sesshomaru began, assuming the hanyou was simply upset and not thinking clearly. "You disappeared after her death, but you..."

"Don't," Inuyasha blared angrily, essentially silencing the youkai lord. "Don't you dare!" His fangs glinting through clenched lips, his claws curling into his palms. Just the thought of Kaede-babaa brought back every ounce of the anger he'd felt that led him here. It brought back his memories of how Sesshomaru could just treat him like shit whenever he wanted to, then never even acknowledge that anything had ever happened. It brought back his memories of everything Princess Edera had said to him. It brought back his anger at the foolish hope he'd had; that he still had; and he didn't know why. Then, because he was curious for a response, he vindictively added; "You don't care about me and you damned sure didn't care about her. Never did. You don't care about anyone, so don't you dare even talk about her."

Furrowing his brows, Sesshomaru remained silent, his eyes glistening as he acknowledged that the hanyou did speak the truth. He had not cared before. He never had, but he knew that was changing. He did not fully understand how, or why, or even how much he would change. But he knew he was changing, despite his reluctance to do so. He decided, though, he would not intrude upon the hanyou's grief. There was nothing he could do to save the miko now, so there was no point in divulging that he would have tried. That would do nothing to ease the hanyou's current grief.

"If you are angry at _me_ for whatever reason that is fine. You have that freedom," Sesshomaru's golden gaze bore into the large golden eyes that studied him defiantly. "But you need to pull yourself together; because we should leave _now_."

"I told you, I'm not going anywhere with you."

If Inuyasha wanted to be adult about this, he would admit that he was too confused to know how to really react now that Sesshomaru was here. But for some reason, Sesshomaru's cold, indifferent exterior never brought out the adult in him. He could admit that he was stubborn, and hard-headed, and goodness knows he'd much rather enter into a battle and fight like hell, than sit around _talking_. . . but Princess Edera's words still echoed in his head, drowning out the sound of the voice that had said he was a filthy hanyou. Sesshomaru would not offer the princess his assistance, he had no interest in helping her save her empire, he had no interest in helping him, but here he was. . . and the hanyou didn't have the slightest idea why.

But he was determined to find out, even though he couldn't exactly summon the overwhelming anger that had engulfed him when Sarula had told him what her mistress had said Sesshomaru had said. He couldn't even summon the fury he'd felt when Princess Edera had said it in her own words. But... he hadn't actually felt any fury when she'd said it, though, had he? He'd just felt... lost. Princess Edera's words had placed a thick impenetrable wedge between them; as if she'd locked his brother away from him forever. He still remembered the warm breath on his ear when Sesshomaru had said:

_What reason do I still have to hate you_?

Did he mean that? Inuyasha had no idea; he just wanted to hear his brother tell him that he did mean it; that he didn't hate him. That he didn't look down on him. That he thought he was a capable warrior.

But the only thing he had was his utter confusion, and the disquieting sense of unexpected relief he'd felt at the sight of the brother who hated him and thought he was worthless. So Inuyasha locked that unwanted relief away, hiding it deep within himself, because he'd be damned if he was going anywhere with that youkai lord before he'd gotten him to admit exactly what he was doing there.

"What is wrong with you, little brother...?"

"And you can just stop that shit too," Inuyasha barked his annoyance. "You told me a long time ago that someone like me was no brother of yours. Well I haven't forgotten, Sesshomaru, or should I say 'Lord Sesshomaru?' " Inuyasha snipped with nothing but acidic sarcasm spewing from his lips. In truth, the more Sesshomaru spoke, the easier it was for him to recapture his fury. He had over 150 years of reserved stash to pull from. Even if he couldn't believe what Princess Edera had said, a few weeks of kindness from _him_, could never erase their history. "If I'm no brother of yours, then there's no need for you to keep calling me that. I don't need a brother."

Sesshomaru's eyes widened as he rocked back on his heels slightly. He recalled when he had said that. In those days, he had cared for nothing and no one; and the hanyou, least of all. But at that time, he had never even considered the possibility that the things he had done and said then, would come back to haunt him so brutally now, or that they had made such a hated impact on the young hanyou; or even that he would care that they had. "Then why did you leave?" He asked in an attempt to refocus the hanyou's thoughts. He knew he had believed he had run off because he had not trusted him, but he could think of nothing he had done recently to cause such anger and fury in him now. But he was determined to find out.

"What do you care why I left?" Inuyasha snorted.

"Well tell me, why did you come here?"

"What I do, shouldn't be any concern of yours."

No, it should not, but this hanyou would explain why he chose to come to Princess Edera of all youkai. "I have little patience for your foolish antics," Sesshomaru said, no longer reigning in his frustration. He had been tolerant with this hanyou long enough. "You will explain to me why you came here."

"_You_ have little patience," Inuyasha nearly tossed a hearty chuckle across his shoulder as he slipped around to the other side of the futon; moving from within grasping reach of the youkai lord. "What do I care what you have little patience for?" He demanded as he reached for the tsuka of his ... Shit, that was stupid, he thought stubbornly. Why hadn't he picked up his sword when he'd gotten dressed after that damned youkai had moved away? With his beloved sword out of reach, Inuyasha decided he would resort to his backup weapon; his smart mouth. "I do what _I_ want to do; not what _you_tell me to do. Besides, why should you care? I'm nothing but a filthy hanyou that you should have let die; aren't I?"

Sesshomaru's brows furrowed in his usual sign of displeasure. Was the hanyou truly saying his anger was from back then? From what he had said nearly three weeks ago? He thought they had gotten past that; but... the hanyou had also pointed out what he had said over 150 years before. He had never considered that his past acts and words would be compounded and redirected back at him in such a manner. He had never cared about such a possibility. "If you are trying to point out that I said that, I do not deny that I did," Sesshomaru responded without diverting his gaze away from the large golden orbs that studied him defiantly. "And that is because you viciously split my face open. So you tell me, which is worse," Sesshomaru demanded, not too pleased as he glared back at his younger brother with equal defiance. "What I _said_; or what you _did? _"

A vivid memory of Sesshomaru's damaged face that day flashed through his mind. The blood dripping down the once smooth cheek, slashed open to the bone by his claws. He had thought a lot about what Sesshomaru had said, but never once had he considered he might have been justified.

Inuyasha knew which was truly worse, but he didn't care. Sesshomaru didn't care about him, wasn't that worse than anything he had done? But maybe that youkai lord had thought about who'd gotten the upper hand that day and had come to take it out of his hide. Knowing Sesshomaru that at least, sounded like something Inuyasha could easily believe he'd do. Yet he was standing here in his room pretending that he cared, pretending that he'd been all put upon to come out of his way to rescue the wretched hanyou yet again.

"Why don't you answer my question and tell me what _you're_doing here?" Inuyasha demanded, ignoring his brother's question to him as he threw out his own with determined curiosity. Had his brother come here to get him, or had he simply come to declare he was incapable of helping the youkai princess and he should just go home before he got himself killed?

Sesshomaru narrowed his gaze as he studied him intently. This hanyou could be so exasperating, but he had come here to assist him, had he not? "I came to find out if you have any idea what _you_are doing here."

Inuyasha stared at him dumfounded for a moment. "Hell yeah, I'm not stupid no matter what you think." He hated the way everything Sesshomaru said to him, always made him feel like he was still the stupid young hanyou that he had taught to use his claws so many years ago. "I know perfectly well what I'm doing here. I'm here because the princess needs me, not you; _**me**_," he responded obstinately, not bothering to conceal the contempt dripping from his voice. "And I'm not a person who turns down someone in need," he added maliciously.

"Need?" Sesshomaru's eyes widened considerably. "Do you even know what that succuvex needs?"

Succuvex? What the hell is a succuvex? What was he talking about? Inuyasha wondered, but there wasn't any way he was going to let that youkai lord know that he didn't have a clue. "Look, if you think I'm leaving here with you, you better think again," Inuyasha said creeping back toward the side of the futon where he'd laid his sword; the side back toward Sesshomaru. "I'm not going anywhere with you. Nobody wants you here, so why don't you just go."

"Perhaps not," Sesshomaru said with a wary lilt to his voice. "I suppose with you here, you are correct," he said softly, his eyes narrowing at the thought. "But do you even know why _you_ are truly here? Princess Edera is an extremely resourceful youkai. No, I am _not _wanted here. So, your princess is probably quite fortunate in that; as long as you are fully aware of where you are, who you are dealing with and what you are about."

Narrowed, clear golden eyes lingered on him as Sesshomaru studied him curiously.

His mouth tight and his own eyes mistrustful, Inuyasha slid in front of his brother and grabbed up his sword, sheathing it at his hip. What was with that youkai? Sesshomaru didn't seem the least bit concerned about the prospect of his being here to help the youkai princess. His interest seemed more about why he was even doing it. He didn't even seem to care that he'd picked up his Tetsusaiga.

His hand resting stubbornly across the tsuka of his sword as he clutched it in his palm, Inuyasha tried to summon a reply. What the hell did he mean succuvex? Was that some youkai way of cursing the princess? Or was he saying that was the kind of youkai she was? But still, what did that mean? What did he mean by did he know what he was doing here? Or did he come of his own accord? Well, that didn't take much thought. He wasn't anyone's damned prisoner. Unlike... Sarula. Was she a prisoner here? Should he tell Sesshomaru about that? No, that youkai didn't care about anyone. If he didn't care about his own brother, he damned sure wasn't going to care about another hanyou.

Inuyasha's mouth flattened into a ruthless line. This time, _he_was the one who wasn't going to give a shit about him. "Of course I know what I'm doing here. I'm having fun," he said flatly. "And when I kill this shit of a youkai who's threatening her, I might be ruling these lands with Princess Edera. What do you think of that?" Inuyasha asked rhetorically.

A thudding stretch of silence hung in the air between them before Sesshomaru spoke. "Surely, you cannot be serious?" he asked eyeing him suspiciously.

Jaw tight, Inuyasha nodded, he hoped convincingly. "Hell yeah, I'm serious. What the hell do you think? That I just go around spewing out useless words the way you do? Practically all my life, you've beaten the shit out of me and why? Because you're the lord of the western lands and what, I'm nothing but a freaking hanyou. Well, fine; just get the hell out," Inuyasha screeched, hoping that would finally do the job by getting that youkai lord to leave finally. What the hell was he staying for anyway, if he didn't care about him?

Sesshomaru puzzled over his reply. Would he truly? Had their past really impacted him so completely? Was this an indication that nothing he did would ever earn that hanyou's trust? But the youkai lord decided he could not leave it at that. Yes, they may well part ways, but that was the hanyou's choice. But he had not come, simply to leave him here, only to be killed. He had no idea if his brother truly knew what he was in the midst of. The look on his face seemed one more of confused puzzlement than anger. "Inuyasha, do you even know what _you_are dealing with here? You are not concerned about the mysteries this castle holds? Do you care not what you have at risk, just being here? You are content and have no doubts?"

What were all those questions? What did he mean at risk? Did he think that he couldn't kill this Prince Shushinki? What did he mean what he had at risk? Curiously, Sesshomaru's words seemed to hold some faint undertones of complete and utter disbelief, as though he couldn't possibly comprehend the notion of his being comfortable here, and asked those questions only to try to trip him up.

If Inuyasha truly wanted to be completely honest with himself, if not his brother; then no, he had no idea what he was actually dealing with; no, he wasn't what he would call _content; _no, he didn't have any clue to the _mysteries_ this castle held; hell what was it he'd just discovered not one hour ago - two hanyou's stuck in a hole; and no, he _didn't _even have a clue as to what he was about, because he was literally hiding in this room, comfortable or not; trying to figure out exactly what the hell was happening in this creepy castle and dammit he knew that, but right now, it was far easier for him to lie to his brother in an attempt to try to cover his cluelessness than it was to give that youkai lord yet another truth that he could so easily turn into a blade. The fact that the stupid hanyou had thrown himself into the middle of something he didn't know a damned thing about. If he thought he was worthless before, what would Sesshomaru think if he were to ask for his help now? "Don't be stupid. I know all I need to know. And just in case you haven't gotten it yet, let me tell you something. I'd much rather be her mate than your brother. Being related to you has resulted in nothing but shit for me all my life and I'm tired of it. I don't need no damned advice from you. In fact, I don't give a shit, if I never see you again."

Sesshomaru studied him. His glare intense and disbelieving. So his assumptions had been correct. That hanyou had fled because he had not trusted him. Yes, this Sesshomaru had fought him for years, had shown him no kindness until recently. But he had not killed him. In fact, recently he had shown him more kindness than he had ever shown anyone. And yet this hanyou trusted a youkai who sought only to take his life, more than he did his own kin. There was no doubt now, nothing he did would ever change that hanyou's opinion of him. It mattered not that his heart had changed. It mattered not that he was making an attempt to reach out. It mattered not that he had saved his life. His prior treatment of him was likely too much for him to ever overcome. Well, so be it. If he could trust an unknown youkai more than he trusted this Sesshomaru, then his life was his own to discard. "Do as you please Inuyasha. If that is truly what you wish, I will not stop you. Your life is yours to do with it as you will!"

Uttering a hollow laugh, Inuyasha realized the sound was cold, coming from him. Shaking his head slightly, he lifted his eyes to defiantly meet his brother's narrowed, guarded gaze. "Do with as I will? You're damned right it is," he sneered angrily. "I have absolutely no problems with Princess Edera," Inuyasha lied, refusing to give in, raising his voice obstinately. "She, at least, has a freaking heart. Something you know nothing about. She doesn't give a shit about my worthless hanyou blood; she doesn't try to kill me by sticking her freaking claws into my throat and filling me with some stinking youki poison every time I get on her freaking nerves," he yelled furiously, no longer able to control himself. "And not once, ever has she called me a filthy hanyou, not even when I piss her off. I get to do whatever the hell I want to. So don't go projecting any of your paranoid bullshit onto me, because you don't know me as well as you think. In fact, you don't know a damned thing about me, Sesshomaru, and you never will."

Inuyasha watched his brother's expression change before his eyes, evolving from something tense to something vaguely readable. Was that denial? Or was it just anger. Instead of one of his brother's usual heartless sneers about him being a stupid, trusting idiot, or his doing anything else that Inuyasha might have easily predicted he would do, he watched the blood in Sesshomaru's face drain away; his face turning almost ghostly, even in the darkened room, with what seemed to be a restrained fury. It was almost as if Sesshomaru was being consumed by a horrible anger that was tainted with that same heated emotion he'd had nearly two months ago when Inuyasha had provided no valid reason for wearing that rosary. He remembered that he'd never seen Sesshomaru so angry before.

When they'd finally talked, Sesshomaru had had no qualms about letting him know just how angry that had made him.

_If I ever again learn that you have allowed those humans to treat you like something less than them, I will kill you. I will not stop myself next time. Do you understand me? I swear I will tear you apart with my bear hands_.

Sesshomaru had done a lot of things to him; even tried to kill him a number of times, but he had never seen him as angry as he was that day; and now, the look on his face seemed to have surpassed that anger. But in truth there was no emotion, nothing at all, just a cold, emotionless blankness as a set of golden eyes peered deep into his own for what seemed almost far too long. And even though he'd gotten some small degree of satisfaction from initially watching the turmoil inside his brother build, Inuyasha was suddenly overwhelmed with something else... guilt, maybe.

Unmoving, he watched him uncertainly; until finally, composure slowly returned to the youkai lord, his face eventually displaying a harsh icy coldness; his expression finally settling to a cold indifference that seemed to veil Sesshomaru's true internal thoughts.

"You are telling me that you would take that youkai as your mate for what? To fulfill an obligation?" Sesshomaru murmured, his tone flat; his voice empty. "You are so trusting of her, that you would commit yourself to her, mere hours after arriving here. Yet you dare shun me for a handful of words spoken in anger. . . mere days after I _willingly_ defiled myself to save your life? You have lies whispered in your ear and you reject _me_?" Sesshomaru repeated in clear disbelief, his shoulders straightening to an almost brick-like wall, as he regarded him coolly.

Inuyasha tensed, feeling the thump of guilt flowing deep in the pit of his stomach. But why the hell should he? "Handful of words? You-"

"Enough, Inuyasha," Sesshomaru lifted his palm stiffly as he interjected harshly, turning his head away and stepping back, as though he could not even stand their proximity any longer. "I am done. If your life means so little to you, it means even less to me."

Stunned and wary, the hanyou simply blinked his confusion. "Wha-a-at?"

But Sesshomaru was already moving toward the door, his shoulders resolute and uncaring. "You have proven yourself to be disappointing," he said with only mild exasperation, as though he were simply discussing a rainy day; certainly not at all like he was in the process of completely disowning his younger brother. "Do as you please, Inuyasha. Your affairs no longer matter to me," Sesshomaru said as he slid the shoji screen door open. "Enjoy what little life you likely have left with your future mate."

His mouth silent, but partially ajar, Inuyasha watched disbelievingly as his brother exited through the open door, morphing into his vibrant white ball and vanishing. There was no emotion, no attack, no insults; just nothing.

Sesshomaru hadn't even looked back.

Moving half unconsciously toward the door, the hanyou stared down both directions of the long empty halls, but found no trace of his brother lingering there. What did he care? He asked himself brutally. This was what he wanted, wasn't it, he puzzled as he raked his hand through his long white strands. So Sesshomaru was gone. Get over it. So he wasn't coming back. Big deal; it wasn't as if it was the end of-

But, Sesshomaru was _gone_, and he _wasn't_coming back.

But that _was_ what he _wanted, _wasn't it? That youkai lord was gone; finally-

But had his selfishness pushed his brother too far? Had Sesshomaru bent as far as he could until he could bend no more? What was he trying to do? Break him? For what purpose? What the hell was wrong with him? Was he nothing but a damned little girl? Wanting Sesshomaru to prove that he truly did care? Wanting so much to hear him say he did. But what was he trying to prove by being so stubborn? Inuyasha wondered as he turned uncomfortably back into the room letting the door slide close behind him.

But all he'd really wanted was his brother's respect. He'd just wanted Sesshomaru to say that he didn't hate him. To say that he respected him; to treat him like an equal. But why? He wasn't his equal. He was just his hanyou half-brother. Wasn't it enough that Sesshomaru had come? Somehow, he'd gotten through that barrier and come looking for _him. _Sesshomaru wouldn't have done that if he didn't care, would he? Shouldn't that have been enough?

Sesshomaru had already said he didn't hate him, didn't he? Had over 200 years of not having his brother care about him made him restless and greedy? Was he so compelled to force that youkai to apologize for not caring about him before? Had it left him wanting more than that youkai could ever possibly give him?

Sesshomaru had been furious to think he'd trusted the princess more than he did him. But did he really? Why had he believed anything Princess Edera had said? What more did he want Sesshomaru to do?

Now, he could almost feel her eyes looking at him as she shook her head disapprovingly.

"Who was that mama?"

She had taken quite a while before she responded, but finally, she said "Lord Sesshomaru."

"Lawd Ses...Sesomaroo?"

"Lord Sesshomaru," she repeated again. "He is your older brother," she said lifting him into her arms.

"My brother?" Inuyasha had repeated almost wistfully. He didn't even know he'd had a brother. But that person looked so strong and so powerful. Was that really his brother?

"Is he coming back? When's he coming back?" he had asked excitedly.

"I don't know, but promise me you will stay away from him if you ever see him again."

"Stay away? But why, mama?" she had ran her fingers through his hair and he remembered shaking his head widely. He had always hated when she treated him like a baby.

"Because he's very angry."

"At me?"

"Actually, I think he's angry at everyone."

"But he's not angry at me, is he mama?"

"Just promise me, you'll stay away from him if you see him again, Inuyasha."

Stay away from him. If anyone was going to stay away now, it would be Sesshomaru, because he was gone. He'd left his foolish hanyou brother to fend for himself. He didn't care anymore. But had he ever? Inuyasha didn't really know, so did it matter? But, the problem was, Inuyasha knew he wasn't coming back; and _that did_ matter. It mattered a hell of a lot.

* * *

**A/N: Sorry, first, I must confess that there was a very similar scene to this in Hella's POISON. But hopefully, I managed to make it as different as possible. I really needed this conflict between the two brothers and I didn't want Inuyasha to leave just yet. There's a few things I need both of them to realize before the upcoming events. I promise, soon we will get entirely to my original story line. It's just that POISON had so many scenes that I thought were a great prelude to what I wanted to write.**

**So what's going on here? Have they split up completely? But I started writing this because I wanted them to be friends. But it looks like our young hanyou doesn't want to be rescued. Or is it that he just does not want to be rescued by Sesshomaru? Does this mean they're not going to be friends? I don't know about you, but to me, it looks like Sesshomaru tried, but how much foolish antics can he seriously put up with? Maybe things would be better if they did just part ways. That would certainly be better for Inuyasha's throat. Maybe they just can't be friends. But then again, maybe Sesshomaru's initial approach was all wrong. It's always his fault after all, isn't it? But then is Inuyasha any better by lying?**

**hakama - (pants)**  
**haori - (top)**  
**hikigoshi - (lace)**

**miko - (priestess)**  
**tsuka - (hilt)**


	19. Chapter 19 The Truth Revealed

**A/N: Previously, Sesshomaru confronted his younger brother to get him out of that castle, only to be pushed aside. Well, what happens now? Will Inuyasha find some way to get himself out of the jam he's in but doesn't really know anything about?**

**Sesshomaru & Inuyasha: Kyoudai de Kōtetsu  
Sesshomaru & Inuyasha: Brothers in Arms**

Shō 19 - **Za Jijitsu Marudashi **  
**Chapter 19 - ****The Truth Revealed**

_Baka_.

The youkai lord muttered to himself as he made his way away from the castle, headed back toward the protective barrier. Was that hanyou seriously giving thought to mating with that succuvex? If so, then he was a bigger baka than he had ever thought. Did he have any idea what he was doing, what he was thinking? But even if he did not, his life was his own to rule, he could do with it what he willed. It should matter not to him. It was that hanyou's choice to trust that succuvex so unquestioningly.

But then, what should he have expected? Except for a short span of time, for over 200 years they had shown nothing but their hatred toward each other. At least that is what he had done; fighting with him, nearly killing him; not for anything he had done, but for his mere existence. Should he truly be surprised now, that the hanyou displayed his own mistrust and hatred of him? No, he should expect nothing than for their lives to return to what they had always known. 

_You don't care about me and you damned sure didn't care about her._

No, he had not and did not care. He would leave him to his own devices. What did it matter to him, what that hanyou did with his already useless life? Yet, what was this revolting sensation that spoke to the possibility that he was perhaps discarding something vital by departing? But vital to whom? Acceptance of their current separation was within his grasp. His life could return to normalcy; yet churning in the pit of his stomach, something unsettling tore at the youkai lord as he turned away to leave. He did not know what or how, but had he recently angered the hanyou in some way? It could not be mere whispers that had caused him to lash out so. Was it truly that he would never be able to overcome his past treatment of him? Why could he not understand that what had been done could not be undone? Why could he not acknowledge that his attempts to reach out to him now, were more significant than anything he could have done for him in the past? Why could he not see that this Sesshomaru had never reached out to anyone?

But still, his pride would not allow him to apologize-such a thing was beneath him; he had apologized to no one in his life. He had never regretted any of his acts. To do something, then lament it afterwards was a position taken by a baka. He was not; he was the daiyoukai of the western lands; his acts were precise and calculated. But despite their anger toward each other, there was the sense that Inuyasha was missing something as well; something far more vital. He could not truly have any idea what he had placed himself in the midst of, could he?

But how could that be possible? How could he be with that succuvex for even a day, and not detect the scent of those hapless souls flowing from within her and not question it? But this daiyoukai already knew the answer to that, did he not? The hanyou knew nothing of youkai, because he had taught him nothing; his scenting abilities where also below the superiority of his own.

But Princess Edera was also a youkai the hanyou would never have encountered. He could likely scent her for a full week, and know not what it meant. And, then, Hidenka Akatsuki herself had had difficulty penetrating the magic that surrounded that castle. Had Princess Edera prepared herself in some manner, so that her true nature would not be so easily discovered? If that succuvex had cloaked herself with magic, or perhaps even with whatever magic flowed within the walls of that castle; what chance would the hanyou truly have? Did the magic also prevent him from scenting her?

Upon his entry, this Sesshomaru had scented many of those reformed youkai souls, but determining their numbers were impossible even for a youkai with his superior scenting abilities because of the overwhelming stench burning and circulating through the air in some parts of the castle. But according to Hidenka Akatsuki, the succuvex had the ability to call forth more from hell. But then there were also the other scents that permeated that castle. But those scents; were they there to conceal the myriad souls emanating from within Princess Edera? But he also knew enough to know that succuvex would not be all sweetness and pleasantries unless she believed it essential to her plans; and Inuyasha, who knew little of youkai, would not realize any deceptions. And then, he now knew he would not accept the truth, as long as it was the youkai lord he had fought for so long, that brought it to him.

Exhaling heavily, Sesshomaru hesitated momentarily, knowing he should have easily been able to predict exactly what had taken place between them in that room. But he had not; in fact, on some level it had actually shocked him, straight down to his very core. For Inuyasha to have trusted that succuvex above him; he now knew that Inuyasha would likely never trust him. Clearly his past wrongs to him were too much for him to ever overcome. Perhaps he had asked far too much after so much history of bad blood.

He was a warrior, a conqueror; a fighter. All his life, he had killed anyone and anything that got in his way. He had shown no compassion; cared for no one; trusted no one and nothing; and yet now, he was dismayed because the hanyou had not trusted him; that he would rather place his life in the hands of a succuvex, than to trust the elder brother who had come to save him.

_If your question really is whether I would choose between her or you, believe me, I'd much rather choose her._

How many times over this past month, had he decided to cut all ties to him; yet he had not, despite the fact that the hanyou had clawed his face open. Instead, he had essentially allowed him that transgression and had thought, _actually thought,_ that if he had been able to put aside the hatred and simply reached out to him, the offer would be willingly and perhaps even gladly accepted. For a short while, it had seemed that was exactly what would happen, at least it had seemed that way until he had asked him to leave his villagers and travel with him. Though the hanyou had not said what disturbed him, it was clear that he was.

When he had made that vow to his chichi-ue that he would try, he had never considered that the situation between them would be so irreversible. Now, he found himself to be the one cast aside; to have his past acts thrown back into his face. Sesshomaru now found himself wondering if perhaps the hanyou truly did not need him. Should he be surprised if he did not? The hanyou had said it himself.

_I don't need a brother._

Except for the period when he had been sealed, he had survived well enough on his own these 200 plus years. Would he forever see this daiyoukai as just another youkai who had tried to kill him? Was it too late for him to believe he could simply intrude upon his life now? Was it his internal arrogance that made him even believe that he could? Yes, he had saved his life, but would Inuyasha ever appreciate anything he did _for_ him after what he had done _to_ him in the past? How much hatred had evolved in their existence? It was clear the hanyou had not and could not forget his past wrongs to him. But did it even matter? Would he, himself, ever truly care for that hanyou after so many years of his own hatred?

_Nobody called for you._

So be it, Sesshomaru thought with an unwavering acceptance, perhaps this was all simply a lesson he needed to learn. When he met his chichi-ue in the afterlife, he would simply tell him that he had tried; because he had.

And yet...

The youkai lord now found himself wondering why he had initiated this effort. Why had he made that promise to his chichi-ue? Was it for his chichi-ue's sake, or possibly for the hanyou's sake; or perhaps it was truly for his own. In the time they had spent together, Sesshomaru realized he had obtained some small insight into the hanyou's psyche. He had seen his courage and determination; he had seen his stubbornness and hard-headedness; he had seen his anger and his affectionate nature; but his fighting style, though rough contained a level of determined vengeance he had never before seen. He believed he now had some understanding of what his leaving him alone all those years ago had done to him. Between the hanyou's okaa-san's ignorance and her decision to raise him as a human and his own cold-heartedness, what chance had he truly had in his life?

_He has been deceived, my lord._

Slowing his pace, Sesshomaru turned, once more taking in the sight of the castle. Eerily silent, it appeared empty and abandoned as it loomed before him in a soundless, yet malicious sprawl.

Appearances aside, he knew unnatural plans were at work, magic spiraling through the castle's walls, deception swirling about. He had sniffed signs of it himself in the hanyou's room. He had never liked such magic. He had always deemed it an underhanded way of obtaining one's goal. But he had come only to satisfy his own curiosity, and to ascertain the succuvex's plans for the hanyou. To assure himself that the hanyou knew what he had placed himself in the middle of. But what magic was at work there? Did the hanyou even know?

_I know all I need to know._

It was clear now that he did, Sesshomaru told himself as he turned to leave once again.

_I'd much rather be her mate than your brother._

But for him to trust that succuvex to such a degree that he would willingly accept her and reveal his one true weakness-the weakness Hidenka Akatsuki had surmised, and he now believed Princess Edera longed to conquer-he knew it was far more confidence than Inuyasha would ever have placed in him.

Well that foolish hanyou deserved whatever outcome befell him, Sesshomaru concluded as his mouth immediately tightened.

But he had decided upon that once before, had he not? And yet he had found himself slipping unnoticed through that barrier with the help of the life sorceress. Stealthily making his way to the room, where he had scented and tracked his stubborn half-brother's scent despite the overwhelming stench burning and drifting across the ceilings of various parts of the castle.

But was there any relevant significance to that? Did it matter? Especially since the scent had essentially dissipated as they talked; but he knew he, himself, had inadvertently pulled the scent of dead human flesh, herbs, earth and dried youkai blood into his lungs.

Continuing on his route, Sesshomaru considered the fact that instead of on the verge of death, he had actually found the hanyou safe and unharmed; almost insultingly so. His initial intent, though, was only to ensure that he was not being further deceived; nor held against his will; no more than that. Inuyasha was a free spirit, far too obstinate to be guided by anyone, he understood that now. And yet, despite its reasons being completely different, just like he had several weeks ago, he had shown a side of himself, that he preferred not to show; he had lost his temper in the face of the hanyou's scathing rejection of him, his determined refusal to _openly admit that he needed his elder brother's assistance-_

_She has a method of getting youkai and I am certain, hanyou as well; to trust her._

But no..., coming to a complete stop, Sesshomaru turned back toward the castle again; something was not right. That burning stench he had scented. He had not realized this before, but it had been especially potent in the hanyou's room upon his initial arrival. In fact if he had tracked the scent of the burning stench instead of his younger brother, it would have essentially led him to the same place-the hanyou's room. He knew not what that concoction's true purpose was, but it had to have been dark magic. Dark magic that led straight to his little brother's room. The same dark magic the life sorceress had spoken about; and had shielded herself against once they had entered the barrier. Did the hanyou know its purpose?

_I know not how you feel about him, but your brother's life is endangered._  
_So much dark magic permeates that castle; I cannot direct your brother as I should._

He knew not what it was, but whatever the outcome; this would all certainly be laid on him, somehow. While in that castle, there had to be something he had not seen; something he had missed. That had always been his tendency, to know not what others expected from him, or to even care; to even possibly undervalue the importance of anything completely unrelated to him. The hanyou had always been stubborn and hard headed. At times he had even seemed suicidal, but trusting of him or not, he would never sit back and willingly allow his soul to be devoured; and that was Princess Edera's true objective. Inuyasha would _not_ be _that_ foolish. He would not desire death so badly; despite the fact that he had begged him to take his life. If he was correct, the scent of magic appeared to be concentrated in the hanyou's room for a specific purpose.

_She has a method of getting youkai and I am certain, hanyou as well; to trust her._

Sesshomaru did not know what Princess Edera had told the hanyou to deceive him so, but whatever it was, Inuyasha could not _possibly_ know what he was in the midst of; he _could not_; despite what he had said. If not for his lifetime of experience around youkai, and his own unwillingness to place his trust in anyone, Sesshomaru knew, even he might not have known the truth of that succuvex's intent and may well have been deceived, himself.

Releasing a light breath, the youkai lord lifted his fingers to his temple, pressing lightly against the ache that was once more building there. His life was at one time much simpler, he thought dismally as he allowed his vibrant sight to slide back toward the darkened room in the castle's lower eastern wing.

Then again, he reflected, his life had also been rather mundane and ... uneventful. He had never considered that involving one's self in another's life would hold such unexpected complexities. The only true interpersonal confrontations he had engaged in since his chichi-ue's death had been with Jaken, who would not hesitate to challenge his every thought; which, in some ways, is probably why he may have found him so entertaining. Yes, he had made him angry more often than not; but that little youkai had also made him smile on rare occasions. And then, there was Rin, who sang, laughed and played with an exuberance he had initially thought excessively frivolous, but he now realized how it warmed his once cold heart.

Had it been his tolerance of them that had opened his heart in some way? He believed that had been his chichi-ue's objective in giving him the Tenseiga; but if that had indirectly caused him to care about Rin and Jaken, could he not also wish to care for the hanyou as well?

_You told me a long time ago that someone like me was no brother of yours._

In that instant, Sesshomaru realized something he had never before appreciated. Whether it was because he, himself was changing, even if reluctantly; or whether it was because there was a mild ache in his chest to know and understand more of the younger brother who so freely did what he wished to do, even if it meant distorting the truth; the younger brother who did not simply bow to his will; the younger brother who placed his emotions above his common sense; the younger brother he had never cared for; the youkai lord felt fairly certain he wanted more.

Such involvement in the lives of other's presented a challenge he had never before experienced. For whatever reason, at his moment, he believed he wanted to know; _really_ know the younger brother he had once literally cast aside. For inexplicable reasons, he had been curious frequently in his life. Could he simply cast the hanyou aside yet again, before he understood its full significance?

Apparently sensing the confusion and turmoil building within him, Hidenka Akatsuki called out; "Lord Sesshomaru," she said as she materialized a short distance in front of him after removing the invisible protective barrier cloaking and shielding her from the castle's magic. "You do not have Master Inuyasha...?" It was a statement with a slight questioning tone to it.

"No, I do not," Sesshomaru replied, closing his eyes slightly; his voice taking on a worn and raspy tone. He had nearly forgotten she had accompanied him. He had not seen her upon his initial exit from the castle. She had simply appeared out of thin air because of the sorcery she had employed. "Open it," he commanded in reference to the barrier surrounding the castle.

Redirecting her attention toward the castle, Hidenka Akatsuki then turned to study the youkai lord; confusion blanketing her features. "Do not judge him too harshly, my lord. He is but a confused child. He needs you, and if I may be so bold, I believe you need him, as well."

Sesshomaru paused, giving her a backward glance across his shoulder as he strolled past her. He could not deny her words. She was a life sorceress; and he understood that to mean she knew his needs. She had said if he did not assist the hanyou, he would die. Whether his hanyou brother truly wished to die or not, he was uncertain, but he would not allow it. "I am aware," he responded warily. "Open it," he commanded again, impatient to depart.

Though clearly hesitant and uncertain, Hidenka Akatsuki followed her lord's command and arched her arms above her head, then pulled them down as she uttered several words of enchantment to dissolve a temporary opening in the barrier large enough for them to exit.

Fairly certain that his planned actions were bordering on the psychotic maneuverings of a baka as he emerged on the other side; Sesshomaru turned and began to flare his youki to prepare to transform into his kyuu shou. "Stay or leave as you wish," he added before lifting himself into the air. "I shall return," he said dispassionately, though essentially his method of informing her that he had not yet decided to forsake the hanyou, as he flew back to his camp.

That foolish hanyou had a knack for rushing headlong into battles without considering the actual risks involved. But this Sesshomaru would not allow his lack of instructions to him to be the cause of his demise. Perhaps forcing the issue was his only option, the youkai lord surmised. He was fairly certain, after all, that for some obstinate, head-strong reason he could not understand, Inuyasha had actually lied to him. He had simply outright lied. Perhaps his only choice was to attack the root of the problem.

_Princess Edera... devoured the soul of my younger sister many years ago._

That hanyou was after all, his chichi-ue's second son. He was also his half-brother; and he would not lose his younger brother to the succuvex who had taken the life sorceress's younger sister. Inuyasha may well not want his assistance, but he would receive it whether he wished it or not. He may well desire not to have anything further to do with him with this interference, but that was his right. He would save him. After everything he had done to hurt him over the years, he owed him that, did he not?

* -* -*- * * -* -*- ** -* -*- * * -* -*- * * -* -*- * * -* -*- * * -* -*- * * -* -*- *

This time, it was she, who watched _his_ departure, as he morphed into his white sphere of energy and his tailwind kicked up an energy that blew her hair softly across her face before she brushed it away. She could barely believe there was so much hatred and pain between two siblings. Why had she not sensed this before? Why had Master Inuyasha's soul not called out before? For now though, that mattered not, she would stay. She had no choice she thought woefully, as she moved further away from the castle's barrier and watched her lord disappear into the darkened night sky.

She knew not what had transpired between them. Despite the fact that her sensor abilities had now reactivated; inside the barrier she was too close to the dark magic that surrounded the castle to see much of their interaction. But it was also her intent to give them their privacy; which is why she had allowed him to proceed on his own. Still, she had sensed enough of the daiyoukai's intolerance to know he had little patience for his younger brother's constant hesitation to accept him.

But the youkai lord, himself, had clearly departed amidst an angry inner turmoil cloaked by a fierce determination. He said he would return and she instinctively knew his heart's intent, there was no need for her to sense him-but in truth, she did not wish to probe too deeply and sense his heart. She was a powerful life sorceress; but he was an even more powerful daiyoukai. No, she did not believe she wished to sense his fierce powerful energy again. Besides, he was her lord. It would be inappropriate for her to randomly sense his heart without his consent. She knew he intended to wage battle; but to wage battle against whom? Princess Edera or his younger brother? In either case, he was not a youkai that would be denied.

Fearing the uncertainty of what she barely sensed, the youkai life sorceress turned uncomfortably back toward the barrier that once more concealed the castle from her sight, as her blood ran cold and a chill shot up her spine. What other mysteries did that barrier conceal, she wondered. It was so disheartening to have a soul to soul connection with the young hanyou, trivial or not and yet be at such a lost. Since Lord Sesshomaru had not retrieved his younger brother, she knew this would probably not end well. The hanyou's soul within her stirred restlessly; as if it felt gravely endangered; but she was uncertain why. Did he feel endangered because he had angered his brother, or was his distress from something else? If only she could see what troubled him, but he was filled with so much human emotions, and then the castle contained such powerful dark magic; there was no way for her to be certain.

Lord Sesshomaru was not aware, but with his simple act of leaving his younger brother behind, even if his intent was not to kill him, himself; he had set an entirely different line of events into motion; a line of events that he might well, find himself regretting. She could not allow that. If he truly did intend to wage battle against Princess Edera; the only thing she could think of, was how many souls her own tribe had lost when they had waged battle against that very same succuvex and her errtu on these castle grounds, some 25 years ago. She could not allow her lord to go in unprepared. She could not allow him to underestimate the power of Princess Edera's errtu.

**殺生丸****＆****犬夜叉****: ****きょうだい****イン****甲鉄****  
Sesshomaru & Inuyasha: Kyoudai in Kōtetsu  
Sesshomaru & Inuyasha: Brothers in Arms**

**章****17 - ****ザ事実****丸出し****  
Shō 17 - Za Jijitsu Marudashi  
Chapter 17-The Truth Revealed**

After the night he'd had with Sesshomaru, Inuyasha was unable and unwilling to wait until later that evening to find Sarula. Hell, he couldn't sleep, couldn't rest, and just plain couldn't wait. He had to find out what Sarula had to say. So in the middle of the afternoon, with no cover of darkness, he threw caution to the wind, and boldly decided that he would simply take his chances and make his way to that dungeon once more.

Acutely aware that the trip would be a lot more dangerous this time, than it was the last time he'd made it, Inuyasha crept his way slowly down the various halls, his head turning every which way, and his scenting ability on high alert as he moved cautiously, making all the necessary turns, trekking stiffly, but quickly down the stairs, going down and around the various levels until he once more arrived at his destination-the dungeon. Finally, he stopped and listened momentarily, then stealthily whipped himself around the final turn and slid toward the opening to the pit the two young hanyou called home. Taking a final look down the hall, Inuyasha slipped through the opening cut into the castle's wall, practically creeping inside and stepping backward, pressing his body solidly against one of the hole's crumbling walls, as his sight roved to take in the scene in front of him.

Inside, Sarula and Sasuki emitted a startled, surprised screech and a soft breath of fear flowed from their throats when he entered, as they desperately clung to each other in the dark, damp room.

It wasn't that he'd forgotten what this hole looked like; it was just that it looked even worst now than it did the last time he was here. Not because there was more light, but because the reality hit him that it was exactly that, nothing but a hole; a hole that extended beyond the foundation of the castle walls. Someone had literally dug a large hole through the castle's supporting walls into the surrounding hillside; slapped some concrete onto the floors and walls and called it a room. The careless, shoddy job that had been done had long ago exceeded its life. Inuyasha realized he wouldn't even want to spend one night in such a place, even if he was hiding from youkai on the night of the new moon. But he couldn't help but wonder how long they had been forced to stay here and why.

"You ready to talk yet?" Inuyasha nearly snarled, displaying no sympathy toward the young hanyou's. It had been a long night last night, and an even longer day for him to sit and wait as long as he had; and he was in no mood for games. He believed he'd played what might have been the most dangerous game he had ever played in his life, and he'd played it with his older brother. But the problem was, he was certain he had been the loser in the worst way possible. But maybe he could still...

"'Cause I'm going to say this one time, and one time only," he warned the young female hanyou, interrupting his own thoughts; his eyes glaring steadily, the tenor in his voice a clear indication of the anger fuming inside him. "I'm getting out of here tonight. If you want to come, tell me what the hell is going on here. Otherwise, I'm leaving and I'm not coming back. If you wake up in the morning and find your asses still stuck in this hole; that's your own damned fault," Inuyasha studied Sarula with angered fury in his eyes. He knew his words were cold, harsh, and insensitive, but he didn't care. Maybe they would scare some sense into her. But it didn't matter if it didn't, because he was leaving tonight one way or the other. Sesshomaru was gone, and his refusal to acknowledge that something weird might be going on in this creepy castle, had directly lead to that. But he'd adjust, he always did; hell, that was his life.

Refusing to look at him, Sarula remained silent for the longest time as she buried her sister's head into her chest, the same way she had done the day before. The problem was; she didn't seem to realize that Inuyasha wasn't the same patient fool he'd been then. So much had happened since that time. Before, he'd thought Princess Edera had driven a wedge between him and his brother. But now, his own foolish acts had driven him away completely.

"So you don't want to talk? Fine, I'm leaving," Inuyasha barked as he spun on his heels and headed back toward the exit.

"Wait," Sarula cried out finally.

Stopping in his tracks, Inuyasha turned back toward her; he seriously had no desire or any intention of leaving before he knew precisely what was going on here. Fighting the sneaky grin that threatened to usurp his features, he noticed that she studied him with the anguished eyes of a hanyou who had completely lost her way.

"Can... can you help..., really?" she asked her eyes large and frightened as she continued to study him, then looked helplessly down at her younger sister.

"Yes, I can," Inuyasha declared without hesitation, despite not knowing exactly what he would have to help with. But he knew if it meant getting out of this castle, he could do that, no problem. Nothing would stop his Red Tetsusaiga; at least that's what he hoped.

"Tell him Sarula, please," her younger sister pleaded, apparently sensing her older sister's reluctance. Her own large, brown eyes were pain filled, as she pushed her head away from her Sarula's chest; her voice soft, just barely above a whisper.

Inuyasha could see that her youth and innocence was probably where she found her strength. She reminded him a lot of Rin, possessing strength from goodness knows where. But it was something he knew she needed if she wanted to hang out with his older brother. Sarula's face, though, said she knew of an evil the younger hanyou could never possibly comprehend.

"What do you think of my mistress?" Sarula finally spoke again, turning a pair of large brown questioning eyes toward him.

"Wh-a-a-t?" Inuyasha blurted out shocked; not at all certain what she was asking. "What do I think of her? What do you mean?"

"I _mean_, what do you _think_ of her?" Sarula repeated, her large inquisitive brown eyes now looking at him; not exactly as if she thought he was stupid; but certainly not like she was ready to trust him. "Do you think she's nice? Do you like her? Do you trust her?"

Inuyasha thought about that. The princess seemed nice; at least to him. But some part of him just didn't trust or believe anything she said, and he still didn't really know why. But he'd had that feeling almost from the moment he got there. But some other part of him also had that comforting feeling he'd had around Kaede-babaa and even around his mother. But he didn't know the why's of that, either. It was like he was fighting within himself about whether or not he should truly trust her. But since she'd never tried to hurt him, he really didn't see any reason why he shouldn't. Sure, she wasn't human, but he couldn't deny the feeling of comfort he'd felt at times. But it was probably because his mother, all his friends and now, even Kaede-babaa were gone, and he had no one; and then Princess Edera had been nice to him at a time when he really needed it.

"I don't know," he answered finally; feeling a touch of guilt for not being able to decide what he truly thought of the youkai princess. "She seems nice, but something inside of me keeps telling me not to trust her... but I don't even know why," he said almost regretfully, his head drooping and his gaze sliding toward the floor. He knew the princess had done nothing to him to cause so much mistrust. Because of what happened between him and Sesshomaru yesterday, though; he believed he questioned her motives even more. Why would a beautiful youkai be so interested in him? "But then, I suppose if I really did trust her; I wouldn't be down here talking to you, would I?" Inuyasha's head snapped up as he responded with a slight edge to his voice, but he knew he had done that because Sarula spoke to him as if he was totally useless, when she was the one stuck in this hole, not him.

Sarula eyed him suspiciously for a moment, before exhaling heavily. "Do you not know what my Mistress is?" She asked, looking at him with doubtful eyes, as if knowing the uselessness of her own question. It was clear she had been in this hole for far too long to even consider any possible value in trying to be nice; and she didn't even pretend to try.

"What she is?" Inuyasha wondered at the apparently odd question. Sesshomaru had kind of asked the same thing, hadn't he? But at that time, he hadn't cared anything about what Sesshomaru was saying. That youkai would never acknowledge that he was worth anything. He hated him, and he would always hate him. But no..., Sesshomaru had said he didn't, but why couldn't he believe anything that youkai said, either? Was it just his mistrust of all youkai in general, or was it because it made him so mad to know that nothing he did would ever be right as far as Sesshomaru was concerned. But he couldn't worry about him, now. He was gone, and as much as Inuyasha wanted _not_ to think about it, he knew he wasn't coming back.

Gathering his thoughts, Inuyasha tried to refocus. Sarula had said did he know what her mistress was. What did that mean? How was that important? She was a full youkai; one of old blood; blood so old that it scented odd and slightly different from anything he'd ever scented before. But it was difficult to tell exactly what her scent was with those lamps she loved to burn whenever they were together. But, so what? He was a hanyou, as were they, so what if they were different. A youkai was a youkai, what difference did it make? He wasn't sure what to make of Sarula's question, unless it had something to do with her transformation capabilities ... "You mean what kind of youkai? No, I know she's old blood, but other than that-"

"Then how can you help," Sarula snapped accusingly, nearly yelling at him as she locked her arms tightly around her younger sister again. Her features contorted to a look of hopeless despair, as if his simply being there spelled certain death for them all. "You don't even know what you have to deal with. So what good are you?" she practically screamed.

Feeling like he'd received a brutal backhand to the face, Inuyasha stared wide-eyed at her. "Okay, look," he began with a great deal of irritation. Is this how Sesshomaru felt when he pushed him away? Had Sesshomaru come to help him as well, only to be... "I might not know _what_ she is, but whatever she is, it doesn't mean she _can't_ be taken down. Hell, I took down a hanyou with a freaking enchanted jewel," he said stiffly, his own voice rising to counter hers, as he rested his hands on the tsuka of his Tetsusaiga, praying his sword would be able to take care of whatever it was this hanyou was so frightened of.

Naraku was only a hanyou, shikon no tama or not. Princess Edera was a full youkai and he had no idea what secrets she kept hidden. But hell, all he had to do was get one good lick in against an arm or a leg, the same way he'd stopped Sesshomaru that time, and that would probably be the end of any threat that youkai could possibly wage. But shit, why was he even thinking about attacking her, as far as he knew, there wasn't any reason for that; at least not yet. "So just tell me what you know. And I promise you," he softened his tone upon noticing the little hanyou had tried to curl herself into a ball. Inuyasha hated himself for clearly frightening her so; but her older sister had to tell him what the hell was going on, or she was going to probably find herself curled up in a ball for a long time to come. "If you want to get out of here, I'll get you out," he said with more confidence than probably appeared on his face, but he knew he certainly wasn't going to give up before his sword tasted the flesh of that youkai, if it had to; whatever she was.

Sarula looked down at the floor, shaking her head repeatedly; clearly unsure and grappling with the decision of whether or not she should talk as she stroked her hand uncertainly along her sister's hair in an attempt to comfort her.

"Sarula," Sasuki said unfurling her body as she looked up again, fighting the tears in her eyes while tugging on her sister's sleeves. "Please tell him, I want to go home."

Looking down into her younger sister's tear-pooled eyes; Sarula's own eyes were plagued with a look of helplessness, as if she knew her sister deserved better, but she didn't really know what to do, to ensure she got it. "Look what you've done," she snapped her head toward Inuyasha, with an angry, accusatory tone in her voice. "You've filled my sister's head with so much foolish hope," Sarula shot a viciously angry glare toward him. "If you're lying and there's nothing you can do to help; I swear I'll kill you myself."

"Yeah, sure," Inuyasha said, with a slight degree of irritation. It annoyed him that this hanyou still seemed to have no idea that she would remain exactly where she was if she didn't start talking. "Maybe I can't help, but I certainly won't know that, if you don't tell me what the hell is going on here."

Clearly unwilling or simply incapable of releasing her anger just yet, Sarula finally took in a deep breath, as she studied Inuyasha intently. Her facial expression fluctuated between possible hope and absolute fear. "Has Princess Edera ever touched you?" She asked thoughtfully.

Inuyasha's eyes widened. "Touched me?" What did this kid think he was here for? "No. Why?"

"Good," Sarula exhaled softly. "You mustn't let her touch you. Ever!" she said adamantly, as if afraid she couldn't stress it strongly enough. "I don't know how she does it, but if she does touch you, she'll be able to read your very soul. Once she touches you, she'll know everything about you; everything you're thinking, everything you're doing, everything you're planning."

Read his soul? She'd know everything he was thinking? How? How could anyone do that?

Inuyasha suddenly remembered when Princess Edera had tried to touch him when he first arrived. He'd thought it was his sword she'd tried to touch. But maybe...

"But sometimes, I don't even know if that really matters. My mistress is such a powerful sorceress; I don't think there's anyone out there who could stop her from getting what she wants when she wants it. That is, except for your brother, Lord Sesshomaru. I remember how furious she was then."

"Furious, what do you mean?"

"I don't even know why I'm going to tell you this, because if you think you'll get close enough to her to kill her with your sword, you're wrong!" Sarula's eyes seemed to study his hand that never left the tsuka of Tetsusaiga. "Why do you think she let you keep it? There are too many errtu in this castle for her to ever be caught off guard."

"You let me worry about that."

Despite her clearly hesitant eyes and her voice that was still filled with the sound of utter hopelessness; Sarula continued. "Do you know what a succuvex is?"

"A suc... succuvex?"

_Do you even know what that succuvex needs?_

Sesshomaru had said that word yesterday. But it had sounded a lot like a curse then. But had he only assumed that because he thought Sesshomaru was jealous because he'd said the princess didn't need him? As if Sesshomaru would ever be jealous of anything.

Another thought ran through the hanyou's mind.

_You know nothing of youkai, their dominance or their pride._

"No, I don't."

Sarula's face suddenly displayed an intense fear that came from somewhere deep inside some hollow part of her very being, and Inuyasha knew she was probably about to tell him some shit he definitely wasn't going to want to hear. Leaving her sister on the dirty, worn mattress, Sarula rose and stepped quickly toward the exit for the hole they'd been trapped in, and peered down the long hall, before returning.

"A succuvex is a female youkai that gets her power in a very unconventional way."

"An unconventional way?"

"Yes, she has the ability to devour the souls and the power of male youkai," Sarula said, closing her eyes for a brief moment as her features seemed to reflect the memories of a nightmare.

"Devour their soul and power? How the hell does she do that?"

Sarula's eyes sprang open. "How the hell am I supposed to know that? I'm not a succuvex. It's just something I've heard for a long time, and...," she didn't immediately speak for a few minutes, her eyes slipping closed again, as if remembering something she really didn't want to remember.

Inuyasha narrowed his own gaze at her. He couldn't exactly say he liked the way she spoke to him; always snipping at him; especially since he was the one who came to help her. But he reasoned, he probably wasn't getting any more than he actually deserved after what he'd done to Sesshomaru, and he'd come for what? To help him? When he got out of here, he'd have to try to find that youkai. He'd have to try to...

"Unfortunately, I don't believe that power lasts very long," Sarula continued, looking rather thoughtful, despite her closed eyes. "Or maybe, she's just so damned greedy, I don't know. Because she's always trying to find some stupid new youkai from somewhere, and it has become increasingly more difficult for her to find youkai here in the southern lands that don't already know all about her," her eyes slid slowly open once more, as she allowed herself to face him. "So that is why she sent me after you. Even though you're only a hanyou like me, my Mistress wants your sword, she knows what it's capable of," she paused again, as if knowing her next words would anger him.

"Do you have many human friends?" she asked, though already fairly certain of the answer.

"Human friends," Inuyasha repeated, wondering why she had simply stopped and turned tail like that. The question seemed to have come out of thin air. "Well I do, but...," he stopped himself, not sure if he wanted to discuss anything about his friends, even though for the most part they were all gone.

"You must worry about them a lot; yes? You protect them, keep them safe?"

"What has that got to do with anything?"

"Well, my mistress looks at that as a weakness and she's using your weakness against you."

"My weakness? What are you talking about?"

Sarula curled her legs beneath her and locked a fierce embrace around her sister's neck, nearly choking her. But she finally loosened her grip when her sister pounded her fists on her chest.

Inuyasha couldn't help but wonder what the hell kind of torture those two hanyou had undergone in this castle.

"She intends to devour your human soul once she gets you to trust her," Sarula said it as if she was simply telling him that her mistress was going out for an afternoon stroll and Inuyasha was certain he'd heard wrong. No one could possibly discuss the calculated death of another so callously, could they? Inuyasha assumed, though, that she'd simply resigned herself to its inevitability. Clearly, she'd seen, or at least known of it to have happened before.

"She knows that you, me, Sasuki and every hanyou reverts to their human self once a month. She may not know when, but she knows you do. She believes if you trust her, you will eventually reveal your human self to her. Once you do that, she can take your human soul. That's what she's been working on the past week," Sarula said with a look of near disgust in her eyes. "And she's going to be working on it every day, until she gets what she wants. She gets you to drink that tea that her errtu mix up. It's made of some kind of dead human flesh, dried youkai blood mixed with earth or something. She has heard that you were very protective of your friends. I think some kind of magic using the human flesh they mix up, ignites your trusting protective instincts in some way, but I'm not sure; she rarely tells me anything that she believes I don't need to know. Everything I know is merely from observation; watching and listening. What I've learned while trying to find some way out of here." Her voice grew quieter, as if seized by more unknown fear. "She has her errtu servants light oil lamps in your room that also burn dried youkai blood mixed with the same earth and human flesh concoction. Like I said, I'm not sure, but I think the human flesh part of it also works on the human part of your soul in some way; making you more open to trusting her; making you believe she's like a friend that needs protecting. I believe it's supposed to get you off your guard. After a couple of weeks, you'll. . ."

"She's been trying to get me to trust her? To get me to drop my guard?"

_Do you even know what you're dealing with here? This castle holds no mysteries? You know what you are about? Do you even know what you have at risk, just being here? You are content and have no doubts?_

Sesshomaru.

"When you approached this castle, did you wonder why it was surrounded by those mazes and that marsh?" Sarula's voice intruded upon his thoughts.

"Well, yeah..., I mean most youkai can fly can't they?' Inuyasha said, looking thoughtful. If he thought that, and Sarula thought that, then her mistress couldn't have been so stupid, could she? "And even if they can't it might be a little tricky, but I'm pretty sure most youkai and even hanyou can easily maneuver their way around it."

"Several years ago, I heard her talking about that. Apparently, it's because the castle was actually created to keep humans out as much as youkai; maybe even more so," Sarula said leaving her position on the filthy mattress once more to peer down the halls again. "The barrier is more of a protection against youkai; so they don't even find the place," she said across her shoulder before turning back. "But the human's probably already have a good idea where the castle is, whether they can get in or not; but the castle's positioning was created especially for the humans. My mistress is afraid if they found their way past the barrier, they would set the castle on fire," she said as she returned and sat beside her sister again.

Sasuki grabbed onto her sister's arm and hung on for dear life. As much as it was clear that she really wanted to go home, the look on her face said she knew what her sister was telling him was dangerous for them all.

"Why would they do that?"

"Because...," Sarula hesitated.

Inuyasha wondered why she did. What could possibly be worse than what she had already said? What could possibly be worse than knowing that youkai princess was doing everything in her power to trick him? What could possibly be worse than knowing the lamps in his room and the rest of this castle were not being burnt because of that Prince Shushinki at all?

"Because she...," Sarula lowered her voice to a whisper. "She eats... humans," she finally released it, as if she was personally holding in the guilt of her mistresses misdeeds.

"Eats humans?" Inuyasha gasped. His thoughts were suddenly flooded with the memory of all the humans Naraku had killed; it was flooded with the memory of the humans Koga and even Princess Abi had killed. So many humans killed for the sake of youkai who simply did what they wanted to do.

"Yes, she is a high-level youkai that has continued the old ways," Sarula said, her face filled with so much guilt, looking as though it was somehow her fault. "There are not many high-level youkai who do, but..."

Inuyasha wanted to choke. He felt the grip of nausea tighten around his insides and settle at the back of his throat as he wondered if that raw meat that had been brought to him that first night was dead human flesh. Hell, he wondered if the crap they brought to him now was cooked humans. But no, that couldn't be, could it? Even though his room was always stinking to high heaven when he entered it, he would have known the scent of human flesh if that's what it was, wouldn't he?

"There is something else you might not know," Sarula began; clearly now that she had started talking, she was going to tell all she knew. It was like she had held it in for so long, if she didn't release it now, she would explode. "When I approached you that day, it was all planned. Everything. Princess Edera is a very determined youkai; and I must add, a very powerful sorceress. If she wants something, she intends to get it, and she wanted you at your most vulnerable, so... so she planned it out and worked on it for several days, then..." Sarula hesitated just slightly. Despite her obvious desire to now tell everything she knew, just saying some of it, was extremely difficult for her. "She sent her errtu out to kill your priestess friend."

"What?" Inuyasha balked, as his eyes grew large with disbelief. Kaede-babaa. Princess Edera had her killed?

_I know about the miko..._

Panic flashed in Inuyasha's eyes as he thought back. What was Sesshomaru trying to tell him then? What did he know? Is that why Sesshomaru had come? Because he knew; because he'd probably known everything all along. But he'd pushed him away, and now, Sesshomaru wasn't coming back. Inuyasha felt sick.

A sickening nausea hit him full force when he realized he'd drank a little of that damned tea every night since he'd been there; and it took every ounce of his strength to not throw up right then and there. That tea had tasted awful, but he remembered how he hadn't wanted to disappoint his hostess. She seemed to enjoy the shit. But for all he knew, she might have been drinking something entirely different. The cups were always poured when brought in by one of those damned hollowed eyed youkai.

He even remembered the stench of those lamps. Fortunately, though, he had always blown them out within seconds of entering the room; except for last night, though. Because he was so preoccupied with what he'd seen with Sarula, he hadn't even thought about it until later. But apparently the princess didn't know the sensitivity of inu youkai noses, even though he was only a hanyou; his nose was still pretty sensitive. Or, either, she just didn't give a shit. But the tea?

_She intends to devour your human soul once she gets you to trust her._

Had that done something to him? He had to admit as the days had gone by, he'd found the princess more and more charming; in some ways, shit, she'd almost reminded him a lot of his mother in the past few days."

_I'd much rather choose her._

Damn, what had he done? Inuyasha cursed silently as he rubbed his fingers slowly through the thick welt of hair at the top of his head. He'd sniffed in a hell of a lot of those oil lamp fumes last night before he'd blown them out. But the problem was he'd said that shit to Sesshomaru with such conviction, as if he knew what the hell he was doing, as if...

_Do as you please, Inuyasha; risk all you dare. Your affairs no longer matter to me._

Shit, Sesshomaru must think he was the biggest ass in any land, western or southern.

"Yes, she can only devour your soul when she's gotten you to trust her, I think. Then, I believe you would give it willingly, because you wouldn't even know what she was doing. She would probably just enter your room in the middle of the night and then... and then you would be gone;" Sarula said with apparent realization of her own role in this and regretting that she had been the one who had gotten him mixed up in this at all.

"What are you two doing here?" Inuyasha asked, wondering how she had gotten herself mixed up in this in the first place, and to have gotten her little sister involved as well.

Sarula's thoughts drifted back in time as her face took on a forlorn look.

Inuyasha couldn't be sure if she was remembering good times or bad.

"Four years ago, my sister and I were in a clearing near the forest in our village playing Kemari –. I'm afraid I wasn't paying much attention, because before I knew it, we were surrounded by errtu. They grabbed my sister, and I was unable to stop them; and so, we were kidnapped and brought here. We've been under Princess Edera's control ever since. When she needs me, she sends me out to bring back powerful youkai and she keeps my sister here to make sure I bring them back anyway I can. If I didn't she says she'll kill my sister."

"Anyway you can," Inuyasha reflected on those words.

"Yes," Sarula lowered her head, unwilling to look at him. "She told me if you did not come readily to tell you that your brother, Lord Sesshomaru, had said disparaging things about you. My mistress's errtu servants had done some kind of checking on you and she knew you'd believe it. Especially since she had already ensured you'd be upset when I went to you. But it wasn't true," she said quickly, her voice almost a screech, as she smothered down her tears. "It wasn't true. She'll do and say anything that will help her achieve her goal. And she made me..., she made me... I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," Sarula folded her face into the palms of her hand.

Inuyasha's legs wobbled beneath him. He really wanted to fall flat on his face and hit the floor as hard as he could, but he kept his wits about him as he folded his legs beneath him and plopped down in front of the two hanyou. He felt like he'd been stabbed in his heart. He'd been lied to and because he'd believed those lies, he'd driven his brother away. His brother who had most likely snuck in last night to save the stupid hanyou's wretched life yet again.

_You show your appreciation by allowing false words to be whispered in your miserable little ear and you have the gall to think you have sufficient cause to_ doubt _me?_

He was such an ass. Because of lies told to him, he had lied to... Sesshomaru.

Sesshomaru who had come, why? To save him? To know just how stupid and foolish a hanyou he truly was?

"Do not blame her, Master Inuyasha," Sasuki spoke up; apparently seeing the anger creeping across his face; as well as apparently feeling her sister's pain; as her head flipped back and forth between the two of them. "She was only trying to protect me."

"No, Sasuki;" Sarula quickly interrupted. "He _should_ blame me; and you should blame me too," she said as tears began to stream down her face. "We've been here for four years and I haven't figured out a way to get you out of here. I should have let them kill me before I let them take you."

"What are you doing?" Inuyasha barked, lifting his arm to his face, as if in an attempt to ward off a blow to the head. "You're not crying are you? What are you crying for?" He demanded. He really hated seeing girls cry, and he realized he hated seeing hanyou's do it even more. That was something he never really saw before; something he never expected to see. "We haven't even tried to get out of here yet. If we can't, then you can cry. But why cry before we even try?"

Sarula reigned in her tears as she looked up at him. "O... Okay," she whimpered, wiping her hands across her eyes.

Not really wanting to, but knowing he needed to; Inuyasha listened as Sarula told him all she knew. She filled him in on how the errtu had thought it was such a funny thing that Princess Edera cared for no one and had killed her own mate several years ago; devoured his soul, taking his strength and power. She told him how there was no Prince Shushinki; at least not anymore. Yes, about three years ago, he had come to try to take control of the southern lands from Princess Edera, but he had underestimated her magic as well as her abilities and she had devoured his soul and power as well. Their mistress's insistence that he still existed, was only a guise to get strong youkai to come to her castle so she could devour their souls as well.

Once inside, they were trapped behind the barrier, and even if they did not immediately trust the youkai princess, they could never leave; just like they couldn't now; so eventually, Princess Edera would win in the end. Sarula told of how since both she and Sasuki had been there, she'd known of it to have happened at least three times, once to a youkai that she, herself, had brought there after having been threatened by her mistress. Yes, they were constantly subjected to the magic in the castle, but it also seemed that most youkai males allowed themselves to be captivated by her beauty. Through her beauty and their longing to possess her, she gained their trust; once that happened, they were doomed.

Sarula added that even though she wasn't sure about this, she believed once her mistress had devoured the youkai's soul and power; the errtu transformed and then devoured their bodies. She told of how she believed Princess Edera had actually set her sights on obtaining Lord Sesshomaru's power and strength, but he had outright refused to fall for her need for assistance. She had probably thought that since he was from the western lands, he wouldn't know anything about her. But even though she wasn't sure what it was, she had the distinct feeling there was something else about his brother that made him especially important for her mistress.

Inuyasha asked what made her think that, but Sarula could only say there was something different about her mistress's behavior after his brother had turned her down. There were times when she would go to the library and find her mistress talking, as if she was talking to someone else. The strangest thing was there was one time when she thought she'd even heard someone, but there was no one there. But as far as her mistress, it was more like she was apologizing for failing someone by not bringing Lord Sesshomaru to them. Whoever she was talking to, though, she seemed so apologetic, like she was afraid or something, and Sarula could not remember ever seeing her like that before. She did remember her thought at the time was that her mistress was losing her mind, and she remembered wishing that if there was any luck, like the humans talked about, then maybe she didn't have as much control over those souls she'd stolen as she thought she had; and maybe they would fight back and tear her apart from the inside.

Inuyasha could see that Sarula wanted to laugh after that, but she was even too frightened to do that. An odd feeling shot through him as he realized he couldn't imagine having ever been that frightened in his life, except for maybe when he was very young and trying to hide from youkai on the night of the new moon. Sure, she was female, but she was also a hanyou, and he couldn't recall ever seeing a hanyou, male or female, so frightened before.

At any rate, Sarula concluded that in the end, because his brother had turned her mistress down, that was the primary reason why the princess had sent her after him. She knew they were brothers, and despite the trouble she'd heard they'd been having, she also knew the two of them were spending quite a bit of time together of late. But it was only partly because she'd wanted to hurt Lord Sesshomaru for dismissing her request so quickly, but more because she'd wanted the hanyou's sword and she knew that a normal youkai soul could never wield it; that's why she decided she would take his human soul.

It had taken several hours for Sarula to tell everything she knew. When she finished, she looked exhausted, as if simply letting the information out, had physically drained her. Inuyasha had heard enough. He knew she had placed a lot of trust in him, and he was determined not to disappoint her. He was determined not to disappoint himself.

_You wretched, infantile fool, running about, throwing your ridiculous, pathetic little tantrums.  
No, you do_ not _deserve me, hanyou; what you_ do deserve _is to be left to your own youkai-forsaken outcome, to suffer the full brunt of whatever it is you have thrown yourself in the middle of; something I had endeavored to try to spare you!_

Inuyasha knew if he didn't get out of this damned castle this very minute, he did deserve to be left to whatever youkai-forsaken outcome befell him. Feeling like an absolute fool for having pushed his brother away, Inuyasha tried to push the thought aside as he told the two hanyou to follow him; because he was going to get through that barrier now.

"How?" Sarula wanted to know. "The only way through the barrier is with the staff I carried the day I brought you here. Princess Edera keeps it locked away when I'm not retrieving youkai."

"Don't worry; my sword can break though any barrier."

"You... you can break through the barrier?" Sarula asked with wide-eyed disbelief. "Then why did you stay here?"

"Because I knew something wasn't right." Unfolding his legs, Inuyasha rose from the floor and headed toward the exit. "And it took me until last night to find you," having no qualms about speaking his mind, Inuyasha turned his head to study her as he added. "And then, you wouldn't tell me anything, when I did."

"Oh," Sarula responded, her head slumping as a great deal of dejection flowed from her voice.

"Don't worry about it," Inuyasha said, not wanting to worry about what he'd done either. "Just come on and follow me. We're getting out of here, _now._" He knew he had no plans of even tussling with that succuvex if he had a choice. He'd had enough of magic to last a life time. The only thing he intended to do right now, was get their asses out of there. If Princess Edera came after him...; well, he'd deal with her then if he had to. But maybe her magic wouldn't be so all powerful, away from her castle.

baka - (a fool, **an idiot,** an ass, a jerk, a moron)  
Errtu - is a chaotic evil demon in the Dungeons & Dragons role-playing game, created by R. A. Salvatore - the errtu in this story, however, are different, created specifically for this work - I admit I liked the name and some aspects of their looks, especially their bat-like wings although my errtu are quite different.  
Hidenka Akatsuki - (Princess Aurora)  
inu - (dog)

kekkai - (magical spell)  
Kemari - (is a ball game that is said to have come from China to Japan during the Yamato period approximately 1,400 years ago. There are no winners or losers in this game. The objective of the game is to simply pass the ball back and forth to fellow players)

kyuu shou - (flying sphere, flight ball of energy)  
ningyou youkai - (puppet demons)  
okaa-san - (mother)

tsuka - (hilt)

youkai - (demon)


	20. Chapter 20 The Castle Barrier Breached

**A/N: Okay, last time, Inuyasha found out the truth about Princess Edera and unfortunately, it wasn't anything good. But the thing is Sesshomaru had come to get him, but out dear young hanyou had made his older brother so mad, he'd simply left in a huff. But it had seemed that Sesshomaru had thought that he might help him anyway. Will he? He seemed to think that maybe he owed the hanyou something after treating him so poorly all his life. Does that mean Sesshomaru is growing? Is he actually starting to care about his younger half-brother? Or will Sesshomaru even get there in time?**

**Sesshomaru & Inuyasha: Kyoudai de Kōtetsu  
Sesshomaru & Inuyasha: Brothers in Arms**

Shō 20 - Jōkaku Kanmon Kakera  
Chapter 20 - The Castle Barrier Breached 

"Bakusaiga, bow to my will and break through this barrier. Your master commands it," he said, as he flew toward the unseen barrier and with two swift, yet powerfully graceful thrusts of his hand, he released his sword's power when he called its name.

_"Bakusaiga."_

*._ *._ *._ *._ *._ *._ *._ *._ *._ *._*._ *._ *._ *._ *._*._ *._ *._ *._ *._

Upon picking up the sound of movement and the faint barely recognizable scent of the mistress of the castle above the stench of those putrid oil lamps, once they'd stealthily made their way to the first level of the castle; Inuyasha rushed the two young wolf hanyou to the far end of the hall. "Wait here," he told them almost breathlessly, after taking in a quick glimpse of the surrounding area. "Princess Edera is up ahead; let me see what's going on."

"Oh no, no, no, no, no," Sarula wailed as she fell to her knees, her hands sliding almost lifelessly down her younger sister's clothing as she tried to clutch onto her for dear life. It was clear she was fairly certain they would all die any minute.

"Quiet," Inuyasha issued a panicked yelp. "Stop that damned yapping, someone will hear you," he warned, glaring at Sarula. Damned females were always crying; and always at the worst possible moment. What was wrong with them? It didn't seem to matter if they were humans or hanyou's, they just always cried. He hated seeing females cry. But this one needed to realize that the last thing they needed was to alert any of those damned errtu to their whereabouts.

Suddenly, he turned his head to look back across his shoulder. Shit, Princess Edera was definitely up ahead and it seemed like she would be there for a while. This was the last thing they needed; to run into Princess Edera before they'd even gotten anywhere near the barrier. But hell, if one of those hollow-eyed youkai had heard Sarula's babbling, they were probably done for anyway, Inuyasha thought as he held his breath, as if somehow, that would solve their problem. But thankfully, apparently they hadn't been heard, because not a single errtu reared its ugly hollow eyed head to try to stop them.

"Look, be quiet, but don't worry," he began as he studied the young hanyous across his shoulder once more; grateful that they still seemed to be in the clear. "I'll be back in a minute." He looked down the hall and spotted a nearby door. Sliding it open, he peered inside the room; it was empty just like always. "Stay in here," he ordered. "Get in that corner over there behind the desk and hide and don't make a sound."

He'd remembered how he'd hid like that for a full night on the night of the new moon when he'd first come to the castle, and no one had even come to check on him. Hopefully, they'd be just as lucky this night. Over the past few days, though, he'd reasoned that those damned errtu and even Princess Edera didn't care one bloody hoot where the hell he was, because they probably pretty much assumed that wherever he was, he'd never get past that barrier. But he was thankful that she apparently also didn't know anything about his Red Tetsusaiga. He was also glad that he was at least smart enough not to tell her anything about Tetsusaiga's true abilities, like his Bakuryuuha or any of the other features he had managed to pick up to enhance his sword while chasing down that damned Naraku. "I promise, I'll be back in a couple of minutes."

Rising to her feet, Sarula's expression quickly transformed as she wiped the tears from her eyes, stoned her shoulders, grabbed her sister's hand and headed toward the door. Her mannerisms changed so abruptly, it was like she knew he hated seeing her cry, or either she finally realized that for all their sakes, that she needed to stand tall in front of her sister, at least. Inuyasha didn't really know which, and really didn't care as long as she quit that blubbering.

"Master Inuyasha," Sasuki stopped, running quickly back toward him as he turned away to leave.

"I told you, just Inuya…," he cut his words short as his eyes widened in panic when he saw her tiny arms reaching out toward his leg. Looking down, he saw a little kid whose bright brown, still frightened eyes spoke of the hope of a dream she thought she'd never see.

"Thank you," she said, then squeezed his leg tightly.

"Shit," Inuyasha balked slightly annoyed. Crying and hugging. Crying and hugging. He hated them both. He stilled hadn't gotten used to the way kids seemed to love grabbing onto him. And for the life of him, he couldn't figure out why they did. "Thank me when we get out of here," he said looking toward Sarula for her assistance as he tried to pull her younger sister's arm away from his leg without being excessively rough. She was, only a little kid, after all; and the last thing he wanted, was to hear more blubbering.

"Come on Sasuki, let's go," Sarula said grabbing her sister's arm as she led the way into the room.

Heeding Inuyasha's advice, the two wolf hanyous scampered into the room and quickly secured themselves behind the large, low desk at the far end of the room as instructed. Inuyasha slid the shoji screen door closed behind them, then double checked for the approach of any of those damned errtu, before casually strolling his way toward the mistress of the castle's library.

"Inuyasha, you're here," Princess Edera turned a vibrant smile toward him when he entered. "Where have you been? You didn't join me after your dinner. Were you outside? No one has seen you all day."

Inuyasha felt a slight warm flush in his cheeks with that bit of information. He hadn't thought anyone in this castle cared where he was, or what he was doing. "Ahh, yeah, well I guess I was just… just kind of bored and in a grumpy mood, and then I didn't want to spoil your day too."

"Have you eaten anything at all? I'll have Chandra get you something. I will not allow you to starve in my castle," Princess Edera stated, seemingly so concerned about his well-being with those pale warm brown eyes that yesterday seemed so expressive; but now all he could see was the traitorous evil they tried to conceal. "What is wrong with you?" she asked, after Inuyasha failed to respond. "Why are you looking at me like that? You are turning an absolute crimson red, right before my very eyes," she said furrowing her brows with an absolute perfect tilt of apparent concern. "Inuyasha…?" she hesitated slightly as she studied him intensely inquisitive eyes. "What is going on? What is it that you have done to make yourself look so positively miserable?" Her pale brown eyes narrowed even more, and Inuyasha felt like she was trying to look right through him.

_If she does touch you, she'll be able to read your very soul. Once she touches you, she'll know everything about you; everything you're thinking, everything you're doing, everything you're planning._

Inuyasha wondered if she was trying to do that now. His only saving grace was that she hadn't touched him, but who's to say that was the only way the youkai princess could get into someone's head. Sarula had said she was a powerful sorceress, he didn't know much about magic, but that witch Urasue had brought Kikyo back from the dead. Who knew what Princess Edera could do?

"What is that look on your face, Inuyasha?" Princess Edera invaded his thoughts, as she prepared to rise from her chair, studying him with a surprised gaze. "You look like someone in so much pain. What on earth happened to you?"

"I'm fine. Nothing happened, I'm just thinking," Inuyasha snapped harshly, whipping his head around to turn his neck away from her view; resenting her probing questions and her absolute prying eyes that truly did seem to penetrate his very core. He didn't really know much about this youkai princess other than what Sarula had spent the past few hours telling him, but he knew enough to know she was probably far too damned shrewd to remain in the dark for very long. And if that happened, how long would it be before she found out that he was planning to get himself and those two wolf hanyou's out. "What a person can't think in peace anymore?"

Princess Edera shrunk back in her chair, her eyes widening in stunned, surprise.

Inuyasha could see that it was only her expression that had changed. There was no change deep inside her eyes. It was cold, blank and uninvolved. He wondered why he hadn't noticed that before. She had no true emotion. She was good at changing her facial expression, but she clearly couldn't change what was in her eyes-and that was nothing. He remembered hearing a long time ago; from his mother, maybe; that the eyes were a reflection of a person's true character. Sesshomaru might be pretty damned good at concealing his emotions, too; but he at least did have life in his eyes.

_Do as you please, Inuyasha. Your affairs no longer matter to me._

Sesshomaru may or may not have hated him before. But without a doubt, he hated him then. He remembered the icy coldness he'd seen in his eyes. And then, there was nothing. That youkai hated him so much; he couldn't get out of the room fast enough.

"Well I certainly never said any such thing," Princess Edera said curtly. "You rude little boy. Children today, are so disrespectful."

Inuyasha studied her for a moment, then for the hell of it, decided to try to put her to the test as he continued to watch her. "Sorry," he muttered. "There's just so little to do around here most of the day, I guess I just got lost in some thoughts about an old friend who died recently."

"Ahh, but death happens to us all, especially to humans. It is nothing to fear. It is merely a stage of transition," she said, coating her face with a gentle smile.

So she likely knew who he was thinking about; which meant Sarula was likely right, she _had_ sent her errtu to kill her. What was it about these youkai and even a hanyou like Naraku, that felt even your friends were fair game if they stood in the way of what they wanted. Now, both Kikyo and Kaede-babaa had been killed for knowing and caring about him.

Despite the anger seething inside him, Inuyasha realized that if he wasn't careful the youkai princess would certainly know something was up. But again, he saw nothing in her eyes. Instead of talking about death, she could have been talking about breaking a claw. Her eyes reflected nothing. She may have devoured a lot of souls in her life, but she inherited no character from them. If she wasn't sitting in front of him now, it wouldn't be hard to believe she was already dead. But still, he had to be careful. If he knew anything about this youkai who had him brought here under false pretenses, it was that she probably had a habit of finding out whatever she wanted to know if he wasn't a hundred percent on his guard, and Sarula had confirmed that. Hell, just look at all the crap he'd told her since he'd been here. How long would it have taken before he felt comfortable enough and told her all about the features of his Tetsusaiga, or even about the new moon? Which is probably what she wanted to know, any way. "Yeah, I know," Inuyasha said almost too softly, as he turned his face away. "It's just that it's so quiet here and. . . and"

Inuyasha was nearly knocked off his feet by one of the errtu youkai as it breezed past his legs, in route to its mistress. Sarula had explained that they were blind demons from hell; essentially reformed walking dead. With the use of the ningyou youkai , their kekkai was what actually erected and kept the barrier up. Though unable to see with their eyes, they had some kind of built in sensors that enabled them to sense the location of every item around them.

In addition to their household service, Princess Edera used them for information gathering and youkai gathering if necessary, whenever she required more youkai power.

"Mistress," the errtu puffed breathlessly. "Mistress, its the ningyou youkai-some of them have literally crumbled to the ground!" Screeching to a halt, the errtu servant knelt subserviently in front of Princess Edera with its head bowed and hands on the floor in front of it. "I don't know how, but I believe the protection spells are broken. Several of the ningyou youkai are literally cracked in half from head to foot. It happened so quickly, and it seems the external barriers concealing the front of the castle are open. Impossible as it seems, it's like someone has actually destroyed the kekkai, . . ." The errtu trailed off with a near whine, seemingly reluctant to continue, as if knowing the princess would have its head.

But if the barrier was truly partially down, perhaps he'd picked the best time to leave after all. They'd be to busy worrying about trying to put it back up, to think about him. "Ningyou youkai?" Inuyasha said simultaneously grateful that he didn't have to answer the princess's question, while concealing the surprise in his voice. He had no idea those errtu could even talk; although Sarula had said she watched and listened, he hadn't really thought about who she had listened to, he'd just assumed she meant she'd listened to her mistress; but then she had also said the errtu had thought it was funny their mistress had even killed her own mate. Clearly, they spoke to each other, if not to him.

"What the hell do you need all that magical shit and those damned pretend guards for, anyway? Not a soul has come here since I've been here, and I haven't seen hide nor hair of this Prince Shushinki, you've talked about so much," Inuyasha sneered, leaning back against the wall, trying to look as casual as possible, despite knowing the truth about Shushinki, but for some reason, hoping against hope that Princess Edera would let something slip. It wouldn't hurt to gather as much information as he could, before he attacked whatever was left of the barrier if it blocked his way when they tried to leave. But in the end, it didn't really matter, because he was going to break all of it down one way or the other, any way.

The errtu snapped her head up and howled as she glared at him. "Because of our protective kekkai, no one even knows where _here_ is," it gloated proudly, then turned dismissively away from the hanyou as she redirected her focus to Princess Edera. "But mistress, outside there seems to be an additional threat lurking about."

"A threat lurking about," Princess Edera turned an apparently puzzled gaze toward her servant.

"Yes, while outside inspecting our kekkai, carried on the wind, we scented a combination of human and youkai scents that seem to lie just beyond the damaged barrier wall."

"Human and youkai scents," Princess Edera repeated as she leaned forward in her chair in an attempt to take a look through the library's oversized rectangular window as she addressed the errtu. Despite raising a single eyebrow at this news, she quickly dismissed it as she reclined against the back of her chair once more. "I'd say it's merely a hungry youkai that has found himself a helpless meal, perhaps? I would not think that was worthy of any mention. I'm certain it is a daily occurrence outside these walls."

_She eats humans._

And apparently inside these walls as well.

The errtu shook her head. "No, no, no;" she began, quickly trying to refute this conclusion. "It cannot be so; there's the scent of youkai fire power, yes; but not a scent of human blood to be sniffed. It is simply some filthy human's scent," she said grimly. "And, if such a thing could even be possible here, incredible as it seems; I'd think the human scent actually traveled _with_ the youkai scent as a pairing. I couldn't determine what manner of youkai; more than one, I am certain; such a strange mixture to say the least, but my nose definitely speaks of a high-level youkai; one that is a fresh meat-eater for certain; but not of humans, definitely not of humans," the errtu said then spun toward the young hanyou. "What do you think of such a possibility, Inuyasha?"

Surprised at being addressed after having walked past her; and all of the other errtu in this castle for the better part of a week without even receiving a how do you do; Inuyasha tried to play ignorant, despite the ferocious thumping rising in his chest. He was not going to be this errtu's soft landing cushion for her rolling head, should the youkai princess decide to take it. He, though, was more preoccupied with the feeling that his chest was on the verge of exploding and either the youkai princess or that errtu would soon hear the resounding thump of his heart. A fresh meat-eater who did not eat humans? Is that what she was asking? He knew of only one youkai that traveled with a human. But that was in the western lands. But he was here, last night; in his very room. That seemed like it was almost a lifetime ago. But was she talking about…? Had he come back? Had his brother actually come back?

Whatever he might believe Sesshomaru truly thinks of him now, after what he'd done-a strange mixture-the scent the errtu had picked up with him, if it was him; had to be Rin and Jaken. Probably even Sesshomaru's dragon, as well. "No idea," Inuyasha shrugged as he tried to swallow, despite the drying in the back of his throat, his heart continuing to thump wildly against its thin coating of bone and flesh, unsure if it did that out of fear or relief. But if his brother had come back, why had he brought Rin with him? But no, Sesshomaru wouldn't have come back, would he? But if he had; why had he? Had he come for him? After what he'd done? Pushing him away the way he had. Telling that blatant two-faced lie to him like that. Hell, if Sesshomaru had come back for him; he'd likely done it because he was tired of the wretched hanyou once and for all, and had come back to kill him for outright lying to him.

_Enjoy what little life you likely have left with your future mate._

"I'd say, sometimes youkai and human's do pair up, don't they?"

Princess Edera laughed, her previously lifeless eyes actually sparkling in near delight. "Yes, but such an event rarely ends well for such a foolish human," she informed him, as if he might be more than just a little dense.

Assuming he knew what she referred to after what Sarula had said, Inuyasha simply raised a single dark eyebrow and flipped his palms upward, hoping they didn't betray him by shaking too much, as his entire body seemed to beat a rapid pulse in synch with his throbbing heart.

"Sometimes, though, its the youkai that doesn't make out to well," Inuyasha said pointedly; knowing he should probably just leave, but his mind was spinning with such utter confusion; so much so that he had to stay; he needed to know.

The errtu suddenly let out an unexpectedly loud and annoying squeal of laughter, looking a hell of a lot like she was about to keel over, causing Inuyasha to narrow his gaze at her.

"So very, very true," she finally blurted out with some unknown form of apparent understanding of his words. "You are certainly referring to that father of yours are you not? That so called former lord of the western lands, to disgrace himself and his breed, by dieing at the hands of a filthy human."

Shooting daggers from his eyes, Inuyasha scrunched his brows in anger as he fought the desire to rush forward and rip that damned errtu's heart out with his claws. How dare that thing dare to refer to his oyaji; like it knew him; like it knew anything about him?

_My mistress's errtu servants had done some kind of checking on you and she knew you'd believe it._

Sarula had clearly been right about what she'd said; they had obviously done research on him. But how, and for how long? Who would they have checked with that knew that much about him, about Sesshomaru and about their oyaji? But then, now that he thought about it, both Sesshomaru and their oyaji were the lords of the western lands. There were probably many youkai out there who knew them and, of course, there likely weren't any secrets about what Sesshomaru thought of him. Or how willing he would be to believe just about anything negative about what Sesshomaru thought of him. There was no reason for anyone to think that had changed.

"So, mistress, do you wish to inspect the ningyou youkai. . ." The errtu's voice trailed away then, her face with its hollow white eyes displaying confusion. "Mistress…?"

Princess Edera remained stock-still in her chair, her brown eyes huge as she stared out the library's large rectangular windows, her gaze focused intently across the castle grounds. "What the hell," she blurted out in stunned disbelief, her voice barely above a whisper. "What on earth is that. . ."

Disturbed by her uncustomary manner, Inuyasha rushed from his position near the wall and moved quickly to approach the youkai princess's position, as he too, tried to peer through the window to see what she was looking at. "What's the matter with you? You've never-" Abruptly aborting his statement, he tensed as he saw a soft white hand, from the corner of his eye, stealthily rise in an attempt to clasp his hand nearest to her, but he quickly moved closer to the window as if to get a better look.

"I don't believe this," Princess Edera whispered, yet again, and for a moment the hanyou thought he could see the sheen of true concern sparkling in her previously bland eyes. Something had definitely caught her interest. She looked almost frightened to death. Gone was the usually cool composure, the faked amusement and the pretense of affection that usually appeared to warm her lifeless gaze. In its place, Inuyasha now saw a physically shaken, practically vulnerable-looking youkai, who's clawed, fingers anxiously lifted upward to touch her crimson red-painted lips. Swallowing hard, Princess Edera drew in a long, deep breath, then pointed down toward the long walkway surrounding the grounds of the castle. "Look there, Inuyasha."

After taking in that stunned look on her face, her first true reaction, somehow, the hanyou had a pretty damned good idea what he was about to see as he moved closer toward the window and angled his head in the same direction as her long pointed claw. After all, he had found few things in his nearly 200 years of experience that would cause the mistress of a castle, succuvex, or not; to completely lose her composure in such a manner.

The sight of Sesshomaru was likely more than enough to cause anyone to release a few well placed curses.

With the muscles in his chest tightening to a giant knot beneath his haori, Inuyasha, clenched his fists equally as tight, his claws nearly piercing the usually tough skin, as he rotated his sharp golden gaze to seek out the familiar form of his brother.

And then his heart felt like it nearly stopped completely when he saw him. It was him, he'd come back, and now he was there at the base of the long stairs, in all his magnificent splendor-Sesshomaru-his brother-the youkai lord of the western lands; moving closer toward them with the slow, calculating stealth of a determined blood thirsty youkai on the prowl.

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Bakuryuuha – (the Backlash Wave is a deadly attack that envelops the opponent's energy in the Tetsusaiga's Wind Scar, and reverses the flow of the energy back at Inuyasha's opponent)  
Errtu - is a chaotic evil demon in the _Dungeons & Dragons_ role-playing game, created by R. A. Salvatore - the errtu in this story, however, are different, created specifically for this work - I admit I liked the name and some aspects of their looks, especially their bat-like wings although my errtu are quite different.  
kekkai - (magical spell)  
kyuu shou (flying sphere, flight ball)  
ningyou youkai - (puppet demons)  
oyaji - (old man)

youkai - (demon)  
youki - (dark demon power)


	21. Chapter 21 The Great Escape

A/N: Last time, it seemed Sesshomaru came back, but why? Did he really come back to save Inuyasha, will he? Or did he come back to kill him?

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Sesshomaru & Inuyasha: Kyoudai in Kōtetsu  
Sesshomaru & Inuyasha: Brothers in Arms

Shō 21 - Za Taishita Dasshutsu  
Chapter 21 - The Great Escape

Inuyasha watched as Sesshomaru approached, striding toward them with the powerfully committed and deliberate brawn and grace of what to all appearances was nothing less than a blood thirsty predator. Sesshomaru exhibited a single purpose, showing no anxiety, no concern. Inuyasha saw only calculated deliberation as he moved gracefully along the long bricked walkway leading to the base of the castle, heading toward the enormous stairs that lead to the castle's entrance. Despite the mound of fur across his shoulder, Inuyasha could clearly make out his brother's black plates of armor, with his silver pauldron across his chest, circling the top of the arm he had cut off so long ago. The silver pauldron emitted an eerie glimmer as it glinted coldly in the bright, vibrant light of the full moon.

Princess Edera's eye must have caught the moon's reflection off it, Inuyasha assumed faintly. Sesshomaru hadn't worn his full armor in... How long had it been, now? Ever since he had presented that challenge to him that day and they'd played that game. The game he'd lost, yet Sesshomaru had essentially placated him and removed his armor anyway. That was the first time he'd thought, though only for a little while, that maybe they could truly be friends. But as it turned out, that was the same day he'd clawed his brother's face open.

Suddenly, Inuyasha was overwhelmed by the events of the past month and how much things had changed. It had all started from the moment Sesshomaru had approached him at the well, and dunked him into the water essentially annoyed that he was wallowing after the loss of his friends and wasn't taking care of himself. No, it had actually started before that; from that fight with Sou'unga; when Sesshomaru had actually saved his life several times.

Now, as he watched him, his silk attire, coupled with the heavy pelt of fur draped across his shoulder, Tenseiga and Bakusaiga slid into place at his hip, Inuyasha was reminded of just how much Sesshomaru was truly a powerful warrior; in fact, a powerful youkai lord who had returned for whatever reason, and had punched a hole in that youkai-forsaken barrier.

Starting to turn away, Inuyasha hesitated asthe corners of his eyes just barely caught sight of Jaken hurrying off in the distance. Despite relaxing his hands, before his claws could slice into his palms; he could do nothing to stop his heart from continuing its wild, jerking movements within his chest.

What. . .the hell. . .? His head jerked quickly.

Did he just...?

Yes, he did; he was certain of it. Sesshomaru had just glanced up at him; but only for the briefest of moments before he turned away. But there was nothing there. No change of expression, no sign of emotion. Not the least amount of concern. Had he... Had Sesshomaru come back for him? Or had he come back to kill him? Was he angrier now, than he was when he left?

Inuyasha studied his brother intently, but he did not look at him again. He'd turned away without giving him a second thought. Sesshomaru's expression remained rigid and impassive, nothing but disdain seemed to radiate from his entire being. His posture remained upright and relaxed, regal and powerful, in perfect control of his every thought. Inuyasha couldn't help but wonder what thoughts consumed his brother's mind.

_You filthy hanyou!_  
_You have proven yourself __to be __disappointing!_

But... but what he'd said then, was all just a lie—just one big horrible lie. A lie told by a stupid, foolish hanyou, who wanted more than he probably deserved. Couldn't Sesshomaru see that? Or maybe he just didn't care anymore. Maybe he never really did. But could he truly blame him?

Inuyasha felt sick.

Whipping his body around, Inuyasha dragged in a harsh breath, then immediately froze when his gaze lighted on Princess Edera's own penetrating gaze. She stared out the window and glanced at Sesshomaru for a moment, then turned her gaze back toward him. Suddenly, some form of understanding sparkled in her eyes; it was soon followed by an expression that was nothing more than false compassion. "My errtu has told me he has treated you poorly," she murmured. "If he has come here for you, will you leave with him?"

Inuyasha swallowed hard, then released a nervous laugh. "He didn't come here for me," he said bitterly, his heart filled with deep regret. "That is, not unless he came here to kill me."

"I see," Princess Edera said, then nodded decisively. "Then I shall be your protector," she said so calmly, Inuyasha wondered what her power truly consisted of. "Because after so blatantly refusing to assist me, I doubt very much that your brother has come here uninvited for any good reason.

"Chandra," the youkai princess called in a commanding voice, diverting her attention to the errtu as she rushed to retrieve her armor from the top of a nearby credenza. "Release the wolf dogs." With that, the hollow-eyed youkai instantly rose to her feet and quickly strutted out of the room.

Eyes wide and uncomprehending, Inuyasha's right hand instinctively flew toward and grasped the hilt of his Tetsusaiga. But the young hanyou froze immediately. Why had he done that, he wondered as he considered his uncalculated movement. Was he so intent on battle that he didn't care who he attacked? Who was he planning to draw his sword against, anyway? Sesshomaru? Princess Edera? Had he simply reacted to her words and the errtu's movement?

Inuyasha lifted his head and watched Princess Edera go through the faintly complicated motions of retrieving and adorning herself in her harness, apparently to present the imposing figure of youkai royalty. Sliding his hand away from his weapon, he followed behind her as she lead the way from the large living area, back through the long, fortified hallway.

Conflicted about his own intentions, he continued just a few feet behind her as she strode through the halls, back into the large greeting room that was divided in half by two large, colorful six-panel Byôbu then headed toward the small entry room until she exited the castle to the outer level reaching the top of the wide staircase, then stood in front of the stone railing at the top of the stairs overlooking the castle grounds.

Inuyasha continued in his puzzlement, as he watched Princess Edera staring down at Sesshomaru with a haughty arrogance he was certain, for once, were reflected in her unseen eyes.

"Do not approach further, Lord Sesshomaru you have no business here," Princess Edera said coolly, and Inuyasha could have sworn he saw the heavy fire bird jewel on her right ear flash a vibrant red.

Unable to help himself, he glanced down at Sesshomaru, whose golden gaze appeared cold and ghostlike as they remained fixed on the youkai princess, but he simply ignored her order as though she hadn't even spoken. Each determined footstep that crept closer toward the large stairs resounded loudly in the hanyou's ears, as his heart thumped in synch with every thud his brother's boot made. Sesshomaru's footsteps were slow, yet methodical, but he did not divert his gaze, did not stop and did not speak.

"Why are you here, Lord Sesshomaru?" Princess Edera continued, undaunted. "Are you here for your hanyou brother? Or is it for some feeble attempt at revenge for taking him from you?"

Sesshomaru still did not respond. His gaze remained steady and unflinching, as he continued to stride forward. His, hands, though they seemed relaxed at his side, Inuyasha was certain they were in quick access of his swords.

"Why have you disrupted my barrier?" Princess Edera persisted, her voice growing loud and impatient, as she demanded a response.

Not a word was uttered, as Sesshomaru continued moving forward. With the silence of the night, the only sound heard, was the soft but determined thump of Sesshomaru's booted foot as it thudded slowly, yet steadily along the bricked pathway in front of the castle.

After a few additional moments of determined advancement, Sesshomaru's feet finally came to a complete and sudden stop when he'd reached a position about ten feet in front of them; just in front of the edge of the gigantic stairs. Though his position was lower, his body was in perfect alignment with Princess Edera's as he stared up at her. Inuyasha quickly realized he had a flat surface and not the unleveled steps beneath his feet, and assumed he'd stopped only because he'd positioned himself strategically. He knew his brother sought the best possible strategic advantage in everything he did.

Sesshomaru didn't even seem to notice Inuyasha standing about five feet to the right and just barely behind the youkai princess. His eyes remained stony to all appearances as he stared out toward his only focus.

"Princess Edera," Sesshomaru finally spoke, his booming baritone echoing through the otherwise silent night sky. "It has come to my attention that you no longer wish to rule here in the southern lands," he said implacably; "And it is my intent to determine what your ultimate desire is to be."

Princess Edera flushed slightly, as she glanced toward Inuyasha as if mortally afraid that her secrets would now be revealed. But despite seeing her head flinch from the corner of his eyes, the hanyou's gazed remained firmly fixed on his brother.

Pursing her lips in annoyance, the youkai princess flicked a narrowing gaze back toward the youkai lord, who remained proud and tall, despite his lowered positioning. "What are you talking about, Lord Sesshomaru?" the annoyance in her voice was unmistakable, despite the broadening of her shoulders in an effort to display her defiance. "I rule this territory as I have done for over 4300 years, and I shall continue to do so as I so choose."

Inuyasha glanced at her for a moment. Did she say 43 hundred? She'd ruled for 43 hundred years? So how old was she? He knew she was old blood, but this. She looked at most, a few hundred years older than Sesshomaru. How could she possibly still look so young? Was it because of those youkai souls she had devoured? Had she taken not only their power, but their youth as well?

Sesshomaru's head seemed to tilt ever so slightly, as something seemed to run cold in the youkai lord's own narrowing gaze. "Then, perhaps you have ruled too long," he retorted flatly. "Perhaps the southern lands are now in need of a new ruler." His entire body seemed to tense considerably as he issued that not too subtle threat.

Inuyasha frowned, furrowing his brows in confusion when he saw Sesshomaru's hand unsheathe his Bakusaiga from his heko-obi.

"What?" Princess Edera's eyes sprung wide in horrified shock when Sesshomaru pulled his sword away from his hip. "What did you say?"

Inuyasha had thought Sesshomaru had come to kill him, but was he going to attack the princess? Here? Now? But why? Not for his sake, for certain. But what gripe did he have with her?

"If my words were unclear," Sesshomaru began again, with a stern, unrepentant voice. Despite having unsheathed his sword, he held it with the tip of the blade pointing downward, but his grip remained firm, ready to strike if necessary. "Then, perhaps I should have simply said your days of ruling these southern lands, has come to an end, since it appears to me, you do not know where your boundaries lie," Sesshomaru said with eyes piercing as he glared up at her, but his voice remained calm and composed. His stance erect and perfectly determined.

"I have permitted you more mistakes than a youkai such as you deserves. Your boundaries are here in the southern lands, yet you have dared venture out of your territory and into mine. That was your first mistake," Sesshomaru said, his gaze unflinching, the tenor of his voice displaying nothing but anger braced with an even steadiness. "You came first to deceive me, and challenged me in my own land, that was you second mistake. You dared issue a not too subtle threat, which I chose to ignore," Sesshomaru paused for a moment, in apparent reflection. "That, I must admit, was my mistake. And yet you dared venture further and send your reformed minions into my land to cause destruction and take the life of one of my residents," Sesshomaru remained silent for a moment as he seemed to reflect on everything he was accusing the princess of.

"As a blatant display of your arrogance, you even use your magic to entrap unsuspecting souls from my land behind your barrier. That I must say is your final mistake. I am the Lord of the Western Lands. I do not relish such threats, nor do I relish receiving your uninvited minions into my lands. And I certainly do not relish accepting empty threats from the likes of you."

Inuyasha stared at the youkai lord who stood not more than ten feet away to his left.

Reformed minions? Did he say uninvited minions? Did he mean the errtu? Take the life...?

_I know about the miko. You disappeared after her death, but you..._

_She had her errtu kill your priestess friend._

So that meant Sesshomaru did know. He knew about Kaede-babaa. He knew about everything. He probably knew ever since he'd come to his room, but he'd...

"Again, I say, what are you talking about, Lord Sesshomaru? I sent no min.."

"Do not lie to me." Sesshomaru's baritone bristled with little patience, as its tone rose to silence her. It was clear he had not come to mince his words. "I have had enough of lies, I have not come to hear more, and I will not tolerate them. I am not the baka you apparently thought I was when you first approached me in my lands," he said as his fangs glistened sharp and bright under the vibrant moonlight. "Though you may think your disguise clever and deceptive, I know what you are and I know about your minions and what they have done. I do not take challenges lightly. I have come to protect my own. I will ensure you never venture into the western lands again; so if you value your life you will heed my words."

"_He- heed_ your words?" Princess Edera stuttered slightly as she repeated what she'd heard as if she hadn't heard quite correctly. "_**Heed**_ your words," she restated aghast, appearing anxious and confused. Her hands shook slightly, despite her fingers being wrapped tightly around the banister that framed the edge of the large stairs.

Inuyasha refused to turn toward her.

"You will vacate your control of the southern lands, this day," Sesshomaru continued, his eyes penetrating and determined his voice steady and purposeful. "You asked once why I did not use my swords; let me say now; if it is truly your desire, then stay, and you _will_ see my sword in action."

Inuyasha studied his brother with interest. They were different in so many ways, not just in their looks and status, but their general approach as well. He would never have been able to carry on such a calmed, controlled conversation with the person he intended to attack. But that was Sesshomaru's way; such calm, controlled confidence, absolutely no doubt about his abilities; when Inuyasha knew that he, himself, would have been ranting and raving from the very beginning.

"Choose now, to either vacate these lands of your own accord," Sesshomaru continued his speech under perfect control. Not a word or syllable was accented beyond its meaningful purpose. "Or you _will_ do so by _my_ hand."

"What?" Princess Edera demanded. "What did you say? I will vacate the southern lands?" she repeated, then emitted an odd, gruff, laugh. "I will do no such thing," she said obstinately. "You will not threaten me on my own grounds."

Sesshomaru's gaze lowered for the briefest of moments, in obvious annoyance. "I do nothing more than what you yourself have already done, and with far more devastating consequences to a resident of my lands," he continued, ignoring her petulance. "But these actions of yours against me and mine will cease now, because if you desire your life, you will release your servants and depart this castle," he said as if the youkai princess had not even spoken.

Inuyasha's heart swelled with pride as he watched Sesshomaru with a great deal of interest and admiration. He had never seen his brother on the attack before, unless it was against him. And then, of course, he'd had no time to marvel at him. But now, he seemed as sturdy and determined as he was in everything he'd ever seen him do. He could honestly say he had never been as proud of Sesshomaru as he was at this very moment. There was absolutely no doubt that he was the one in complete control of the situation. He remained calm and unflustered, his stance, menacing yet erect, while Princess Edera seemed to be wilting by the second. And she said she was going to _protect_ him.

"Do not take me lightly Lord Sesshomaru. You will not dare threaten me."

Sesshomaru once more lowered his gaze but only momentarily as if in exasperation, before turning a determined, penetrating glare up toward the youkai princess again. "Unlike you, I do not make empty threats, I take action. So I will only repeat myself this last time. _If_ you desire your life," he seemed to pause for effect. "You will release any servants held against their will and you _will_ depart," he spoke more slowly as if speaking to a complete idiot, then he added as if for Inuyasha's sake. "And if you dare consider yourself courageous enough, you will repeat to _**me**_ exactly what you deemed important enough to tell my brother."

_What?_ Inuyasha's eyes widened, as his throat tightened more than he remembered it ever having tightened before. _Did Sesshomaru just...?_ Sesshomaru had barely looked at him; no, not just barely, he hadn't even looked at him upon his arrival; nor did he even look at him now, but ...

_You will repeat to me what you told my brother.  
__**My brother.**_

Sesshomaru had said, _my brother?_ Sesshomaru had never called him his brother in front of anyone before. _Ever._

_You are no brother of mine. I will kill you if you ever call me that again. You will address me as, Sesshomaru._

But now..., now, he was demanding that Princess Edera repeat the lies she had told him. And they were lies; Inuyasha knew that now. Sarula had said as much, but more importantly, if Sesshomaru had any concerns about anything he'd said to her, he would not be demanding she repeat them in front of them both.

Inuyasha's body quickly shot into a state of absolute confusion, as his muscles began prickling, his knees began knocking and wobbling beneath him. As he reached out to grasp the railing surrounding the stairs to give himself support, he tried to meet his brother's gaze, but Sesshomaru's remained fixated on the youkai princess. Either despite of his inability to get Sesshomaru's attention, or because of it, Inuyasha's heart began thumping wildly in his chest; his throat constricting into a tight knot; swelling as his breath was suddenly cut off. For good measure, his eyes stupidly began to sting, as several drops of water tried to fight their way to the surface.

Ahh, shit, shit, shit. Inuyasha grumbled to himself. He was nothing but a stupid little girl. A damned, stupid little girl; crying at the wrong time, for no good reason, he chided himself, angrily. Sesshomaru would kill him for this. To stand there, embarrassing him by showing his weakness.

Squeezing his eyes tightly shut, Inuyasha quickly whipped his head to the side. He could not let Sesshomaru see him. He could not bear it if Sesshomaru scented the salt of his tears. Hell, Sesshomaru would really think he was nothing more than a _wretched hanyou;_ a wretched, emotional, little hanyou girl.

In fact, he was beginning to believe it himself.

Unable to discard his embarrassment, Inuyasha could stand there no longer. How could he possibly remain in Sesshomaru's presence like this, knowing he'd lied to him and... and...

Shaking his head in disgust, Inuyasha turned and stalked his way back into the castle, no, he'd virtually stumbled his way back inside. He felt like shit, like he was absolutely hollowed out. He could think of no saving grace for himself, except to be _away, now,_ away from his brother; away from Princess Edera and away from this damned castle as he wandered off in the direction he'd left the two young wolf hanyous. As usual, his thoughts were spinning in a thousand different directions. The only thing he could comfortably allow himself to think about at the moment was a thought that seemed to pervade his mind whenever he was thinking about Sesshomaru.

What the _freaking hell_ just happened back there?

He did not need to hear Princess Edera's words. What could she say, except that she'd lied to him; that she had done everything in her power to try to steal his freaking sword? That she'd practically poisoned him by tricking him into drinking that freaking tea because she was trying to steal his freaking human soul. He knew the truth. And for whatever reason, despite the fact that he was certain Sesshomaru knew he had lied to him; Sesshomaru had wanted him to know the truth as well. That had to be it, that had to be why he'd demanded the princess repeat to him what she'd said; it couldn't be anything else.

_You are so trusting of her, that you would commit yourself to her, mere hours after arriving here?_

_No, he didn't, he'd... he'd lied._

Inuyasha couldn't help but think what an odd turn of events. Sesshomaru had not come to kill him. He'd lied to him, yet Sesshomaru had called him his brother and had wanted him to know the truth.

_I never lie, Inuyasha; there is no point._  
_I have no need to hide from my actions._

Sesshomaru had said that when they'd talkedfinally; after he'd split his face open. Well he wouldn't hide from this. Somehow he would tell him. He had to. Sesshomaru would no longer want him to travel with him, Inuyasha was certain of that, but he would tell him nonetheless.

Making his way back inside the castle, Inuyasha closed his eye to blink away the sting; then he brushed his palm quickly across his face, but not across his eyes, no certainly not across his eyes.

While Princess Edera was occupied, he would get Sarula and Sasuki out. Once he'd done that, he would take his position by his brother's side. He would not let Sesshomaru battle that succuvex without his support.

_I have come to protect my own._

Did that..., could that... possibly... mean him?

Sliding open the door to the room where he'd left them, Inuyasha called to the two wolf hanyou. "Come on," he said, his voice slightly gruffer than necessary as he strained to fight back the emotion still broiling within him. "The barrier is partially down, and I'll take down the rest."

The young hanyou's rushed forward in disbelief. "We can get out now?" Sasuki asked not quite believing what she heard.

"Yeah," Inuyasha confirmed. "Princess Edera can't stop us; she's got her hands full." He said as he thought about the scene he'd left behind, while leading the two wolf hanyou down the halls and around a few corridors until they got to the exterior on the side of the castle. Although the barrier here still stood, it had already been weakened by Sesshomaru's blast, as was evident by the fact that he could see it wavering in front of him. He needed only one more swipe to clear it away.

"I won't be going with you," Inuyasha informed them once they'd reached the outer wall.

The two of them stood stock still as they studied him with puzzled eyes. "You're not leaving," Sarula asked. "I thought you said... What if Princess Edera comes after us?"

"She won't. She'll be too busy. And right now, I have to help my brother stop Princess Edera," he explained.

_His brother._ He had never said that out loud, not since Sesshomaru had told him not to call him that. He'd always thought of him as that, even when Sesshomaru was trying to kill him. But he'd never said it out loud; not once, but this time the words had come out so easily and it almost felt so… natural.

"Your brother?" Sarula asked with an amazed lilt to her voice. "Lord Sesshomaru? The lord of the western lands?"

"Yeah," Inuyasha nodded, wanting to refocus.

"He's here? Lord Sesshomaru?" she gushed, her own heart swelling with emotional relief. "He came to save you?"

Inuyasha really wasn't sure if Sesshomaru had actually come to save him or not. But he had come. After what he'd done, he had come back. But why? No one was more confused about that, than him. "Look, when I break through this barrier and tell you to run," he began, as he dismissed that subject line, he didn't really want to think about that right now. For all he knew, Sesshomaru had come to kill Princess Edera, then planned to kill him for lying to him when he was done. But no, he had said to protect his own. That had to mean Sesshomaru had come to protect him, didn't it? It had to mean he'd come to protect the foolish hanyou who had rushed off to protect some youkai he knew nothing about; to protect the foolish hanyou who had no idea what he had placed himself in the middle of.

_I expected to find you damaged._

He'd come the first time because he was... concerned. But he'd come this time because... _I have come to protect my own._

Did that truly mean him? Inuyasha wondered, his emotions welling up inside him again. "You run," he forced himself to refocus as he finished his initial thought. "You keep your asses low and don't stop until you get back home, you hear me?"

"Yes," they responded in unison, nodding their heads in an almost uncertain wobble, still clearly filled with the disbelief of what was actually happening.

"Thank you, Inuyasha," Sasuki said, stretching her small arms up to grab him around the waist.

"Geh," Inuyasha responded; he really hated having kids grabbing onto him. "You said that already, just get home safe, okay?"

"Yes!" she issued a faint, uncertain smile as the glint of tears began to stream down her face.

Embarrassed, and not knowing what else to do, as he gave her a chance to gather herself, Inuyasha turned and knelt at the castle's edge, as he peered through what remained of the barrier. He was right about his previous assessment. Below the hill and the tree-lined mazes of the castle grounds, he saw Rin, Jaken and Sesshomaru's dragon in the distance, but he also saw a beautiful brown skin female youkai with white hair that was unfamiliar to him. She was hovering in the air above the group and had apparently erected what looked like some kind of protective barrier around them all that seemed to emanate and project directly from her body. Who was she? Was she an inu youkai like his brother? Other than her coloring and the fact that he saw no markings on her face, she looked a lot like him with her long white hair and her ears on the side of her head. But he'd seen dogs of many colors; he'd just never seen any with stripes.

The barrier around her also kind of reminded him of Sesshomaru's ball energy except his wasn't a barrier, was it? At least not in the same sense; and then, hers was a clear blue coloring and you could see straight through it, sort of like Hakudoshi's was. And then, everyone seemed to be separate and distinct inside her barrier, while he wasn't sure what he was inside Sesshomaru's. But whether she was an inu youkai or not, it looked like Sesshomaru knew more youkai than he'd thought, but hell, what did he expect? Sesshomaru was the youkai lord of the western lands and whether he cared to associate with other youkai or not, there were probably thousands of youkai under his administration. Whoever this youkai was, Sesshomaru had apparently brought her to protect and keep Rin safe, although he couldn't figure out why he'd even brought the kid in the first place if he was planning to attack Princess Edera. He had to know it wouldn't be safe for her here. But then, that's probably why he'd also brought this youkai with the barrier.

But Inuyasha, at last decided he was not going to start questioning his brother's judgment again; not now. Whenever he did that he never knew when to stop. No, he wasn't going to question him again; not on this and hopefully not on anything ever again. Then he thought about that for a few moments, and decided to revise it to _hopefully not on most things_ anyway.

"Okay," Inuyasha turned to the wolf hanyou's as he rose to his feet. "Get ready to run. When you go, leave in that direction," he said pointing to his right. "This way, you'll be clear of the line of fire. Keep to the bushes and make sure no-one finds you, understand?"

"Okay," the two hanyou's responded, nodding their heads in unison.

Sarula draped her arms around Sasuki's shoulder and squeezed tightly, "You ready?" she asked.

"Yes," Sasuki nodded her head in confirmation, gripping onto her sister's body for dear life.

Inuyasha turned toward the barrier, "Red Tetsusaiga," he hollered as he lifted then smashed the Tetsusaiga downward. A vibrant burst of color fluctuated in front of them, as the remaining barrier shook, then vibrated as it crumbled into itself, disappearing almost instantly.

"Okay, run," Inuyasha ordered once the barrier had fallen, then followed behind the two girls momentarily, before turning off in the opposite direction toward where his brother was.

* * *

Wow, Sesshomaru seemed so ominous. Is he really planning to battle the youkai princess? Well, it looks like Inuyasha is ready to fight by his brother's side, does that mean they have a battle coming up soon? I guess you'll have to check out what happens next.

* * *

baka - (**a fool**, an idiot, an ass, a jerk, a moron)  
Bakuryuuha – (the Backlash Wave is a deadly attack that envelops the opponent's energy in the Tetsusaiga's Wind Scar, and reverses the flow of the energy back at Inuyasha's opponent)  
Byôbu - (folding screen with art)  
Errtu - is a chaotic evil demon in the _Dungeons & Dragons_ role-playing game, created by R. A. Salvatore - the errtu in this story, however, are different, created specifically for this work - I admit I liked the name and some aspects of their looks, especially their bat-like wings although my errtu are quite different.  
heko obi - (sash)  
kekkai - (magical spell)  
ningyou youkai - (puppet demons)  
oyaji - (father)

Tetsusaiga-(Barrier Shattering)


	22. Chapter 22 Inuyashas Final Battle?

**A/N: Sorry for the delay, but unfortunately, I kept receiving an error when trying to post this chapter (since 3/20) and was beginning to think it would never be resolved, but thankfully, it was finally, so hope you enjoy.**

**Sesshomaru & Inuyasha: Kyoudai de Kōtetsu  
Sesshomaru & Inuyasha: Brothers in Arms**

Shō 22 - Inuyasha's Ketteiteki Kōsen?  
Chapter 22 - Inuyasha's Final Battle?

When the remainder of the protective barrier surrounding the castle, shimmered, fluctuated and crumbled around them, Sesshomaru knew instinctively that Inuyasha had brought it down.

So the hanyou had decided he was not happy here after all, had he? Good. He had not believed he was. But that hanyou was so unpredictable at times, it was difficult to determine exactly what his true thoughts were. However, it was easy to ascertain, that for whatever reason, that hanyou's primary focus seemed to be to push this daiyoukai to the edges of reason, if permitted. But the youkai lord could not believe the hanyou could possibly know Princess Edera's true objectives and remain in that castle willingly.

"Princess Edera," Sesshomaru said as he continued to focus his attention up at her. "It appears the remainder of your barrier has fallen," he uttered with a slightly malicious sneer. "I am afraid that means you are no longer as secure as you previously thought. But perhaps that also means you will not have your plans fulfilled as you arrogantly believed."

"Me lord!" Jaken screamed as he pointed from inside the life sorceress's barrier in an attempt to warn his master of the thunderous approach of wolf dogs rushing up behind him.

"Sesshomaru get out of the way," Inuyasha called, simultaneously running up toward him, while preparing to unleash his Kaze no Kizu attack at the threat approaching his brother.

The wolf dogs rushed forward, their clawed feet clicking and scraping along the bricked walkway as they approached at a rapid pace. Their snarling fangs bared as they circled the youkai lord, surrounding him on all sides, snipping, snarling and growling; their fangs glinting and protruding in a vicious, drooling sneer.

"Stay out of this, Inuyasha," Sesshomaru warned the young hanyou, his tone calm yet commanding. He had scented the wolf dogs impending approach long before Jaken's warning call. If this was Princess Edera's only available line of defense, she was at a serious disadvantage he decided as he spun, directing the power of his Bakusaiga toward the herd of demon dogs surrounding him.

With a swift turn and a quick thrust of his hand, Bakusaiga's energy rose and spiraled, then dipped in a vibrant dive as it penetrated the bodies of the demon wolf dogs, seeking the low level youkai's hearts, exploding them from the inside out, shattering what were once their bodies to miniscule pieces. Within seconds, the threat had been destroyed, hardly worth the youkai lord's effort.

"Geh," Inuyasha grumbled as he came to an almost screeching halt. Sesshomaru never seemed to want his help. Why? What did he think was so wrong with his abilities? Or did he just think his own were so great? In all the battles they'd been in together, which granted, weren't many, Sesshomaru had always been determined to display his strength and power without assistance. But hell, what did he expect? Sesshomaru had likely seen him crying like a damned little girl, just a few minutes ago, and he likely thought he _was_ absolutely useless.

"If you have no greater threat than that, Princess Edera," the youkai lord began, turning to face her once more with narrowing slits for eyes. "I suggest you recognize that you are at a grave disadvantage," he said with a smooth confidence which served to anger the youkai succuvex, who sneered angrily at him. From the looks in her eyes, Sesshomaru was fairly certain she wanted to do nothing more than to take his head. Not surprisingly, he wanted to see her try.

Upon his return to the castle, Hidenka Akatsuki had warned the youkai lord of the errtu force at the youkai succuvex's command. Regrettably, she said she had not been part of that battle 25 years ago, so she knew not their attack capabilities; but she told him of how her father, the Suzaku king had sent forth a force of hundreds, yet barely 50 wounded managed to return to report of their defeat. But their defeat, was because they were not warriors, was it not? They were mere guards, at best. They had likely waged their attack without seeking an adequate strategic advantage. Princess Edera would soon understand that this youkai lord would not be so easily defeated. Before the sun rose, she would know that he was a warrior through and through. She would either call forth her errtu, or she would be dead within minutes.

"Disadvantage? Huh!" Princess Edera emitted a mighty grunt, as she continued to glare out at him in heated anger. "You must be confused. Why would you possibly believe _I_ would be at a disadvantage? Is it because of that fierce army you have behind you?" she sneered angrily, glaring viciously at the youkai lord, as her gaze roved to take in his companions. "If anyone is at a disadvantage here, it is you, Lord Sesshomaru. Coming here without a clue of what you will face," she said peering out into the distance. "Hidenka," she called out, upon spotting the life sorceress. "Have you told your lord about the perils he will face when he meets my errtu? Or have you come to rejoin your true family at last? Or perhaps you are seeking your long lost little sister? But… I'm afraid she's not here!" Princess Edera said, chuckling heartily; an evil glint sparkling in her eyes. "Or could you be hoping to join your guards, perhaps?"

"Silence!" Sesshomaru blared, his eyes narrowing in contempt, his voice growing husky with fury. "I am your target. You will address your words to no one except _me_."

"To you?" Princess Edera snapped her head around to glare at him once more; but her words were deceptively soft as she issued an equally soft harrumph in clearing her throat. "Well, my dear Lord Sesshomaru, did the hidenka explain to you, how impossible and fruitless your battle would be?"

"There will be no battle once I take your life," his gaze determined and fixed as he glared upward at what he considered no more than an obnoxiously arrogant youkai.

"Take my life? Take _my_ life?" The youkai princess nearly screeched. Gone was her pretense of pompousness. Clearly, she had never been confronted by an opponent such as the youkai lord who stood so calmly before her at this very moment; which was evident in her mood fluctuations between serene calm and rattled agitation; a positive indication that no youkai had ever before, so serenely called her to task. "Damn you Lord Sesshomaru, how dare you come here and threaten me? Do you actually think you can simply come here and destroy the sanctity of my home?"

"How dare you leave _your_ home and make the mistake of coming to me?" Sesshomaru responded with eyes glinting fiercely. There was no mistaking the fact that the youkai lord did not appreciate the arrogance the youkai princess had displayed in venturing into his western lands; and his intent was to ensure she paid for that transgression.

"Mistress, mistress," Chandra came running up to the youkai princess, then came to a screeching halt and kneeled almost simultaneously. "Sarula and Sasuki are gone."

"What? Gone...? But how...?" Princess Edera repeated in disbelief as she whipped her head around to stare down at her errtu servant. "What do you mean? How could they be gone?"

"I... I... I... "

With full realization seeping into her head, the princess snapped a fierce glare around toward the young hanyou. "Inuyasha, you did this didn't you?" Princess Edera's voice rasped with fury, as she shot a brutally angry glare toward him. "It was you who brought down my barrier and released my servants wasn't it? How dare you betray me?" She barked with a flash of fire red youki flooding the air around her.

"Shut up," Inuyasha barked with anger and vengeance in his own voice. "If you mean those two girls you had trapped her, yeah I did. And I did it because I know what you are. I know why you had me brought here and I know what you planned to do. But you will never have my sword, you piece of shit," he grinned that cocky grin of his as he flared Tetsusaiga's youki power. "I'm not such a stupid hanyou after all, am I?"

Sesshomaru momentarily diverted his gaze across his shoulder toward the hanyou, wondering exactly who he had truly intended that last comment for. "Princess Edera I suggest you focus on one task at a time," his voice was stern, yet quiet. "I told you, you will not address anyone else in my group, you will direct all your comments to me."

The youkai princess's eyes glared a vibrant red as she flared more youki. "Your group? You two think you can come here and destroy _ME_? Well I have ruled here for over 4300 years and I'd say you'd best think again. Do not underestimate my abilities, Lord Sesshomaru," Princess Edera threatened, then released a larger swarm of youki around herself as she began to transform. "Team with your brother if you so choose, Inuyasha," she directed her comments toward the young hanyou despite the youkai lord's warning. "But you are a fool, because that will result in nothing but your own destruction." She growled as the fire bird jewel on her ear flashed a brilliant red and she was instantly engulfed in vibrant youkai energy as her body began to transform.

Sesshomaru watched with cool disinterest. He would give her the opportunity to put herself in whatever she believed was her best fighting position. He would not kill anyone not thoroughly prepared to die, because he was certain that in the end he would kill her for her arrogance if nothing else.

Princess Edera's transformation was swift, as she grew taller; nearly three times her original size to perhaps an 18 foot tall youkai. Her coloring changed from its usual black to a pinkish red. The silk of her shoulder harness shortened, joining with the harness and fur covering her shoulder to transform into large opposing black demon bird wings. The horn that was previously curled on the side of her head unraveled, extending outward. Her claws, though already long, grew to an even more menacingly threatening length.

The youkai lord now observed her transformation with some degree of astonishment. From what he could see, Princess Edera seemed to be only partially transformed, but could it be, he turned to study the life sorceress, whose eyes seemed as astonished as the youkai lord knew he felt. Turning back toward the succuvex, she partially looked like a vicious killer bird. Was she ...

"Sesshomaru," Inuyasha called out upon sighting an eerie reddish glow rising on the western horizon beneath them. Running up to his brother's side, the two glared down across the landscape beyond the marsh and mazes. A foreboding reddish glow grew larger and larger as it appeared to be moving closer toward them.

"Lord Sess...hooo...maaruuu," Rin and Jaken called in unison. Sesshomaru turned and saw yet another eerie red glow rising on the opposing eastern horizon. Hundreds, perhaps thousands of demons stood on each side of the field below the castle, each one uglier than the next. The youkai lord immediately flared his youki, wrapped his arm around the hanyou's waist and engulfed himself and his hanyou brother in youki energy as he flew above and beyond the protective marsh and maze that surrounded the castle grounds.

"Cover my flank," Sesshomaru told the hanyou as he released him to the ground.

"Yeah, right," Inuyasha agreed readily, steadying himself as he took up his position behind his brothers' back, grateful to receive the youkai lord's request to provide support at last. Without speaking, the two bothers appeared to be of one mind as they readied themselves for the impending attack.

"It's the errtu," Inuyasha muttered. "Princess Edera's servants, they've transformed," he informed no one in particular; essentially talking to himself as he clearly spotted and was able to make out the distinctive hollow eyes of the figures emerging through the foreboding red glow.

"I am aware," Sesshomaru responded with little interest. So the youkai princess had finally revealed her full force at last, had she? Their numbers may well be abundant, but they would not get past his Bakusaiga.

Despite the approaching threat, for some reason, Inuyasha decided to ask. "Sesshomaru, you knew what she was all along didn't you?"

"From the moment she appeared at my camp," he informed him with no hint of gloating in his voice.

"So when you were in my bedroom, did you know that I...?"

Sesshomaru arched a brow and glanced across his shoulder at the hanyou, "That you chose not to be honest with me," he determined, assuming his brother's meaning. "Not initially," Sesshomaru confessed. "But eventually, I suspected."

"Oh," Inuyasha lowered his head, reflecting on the poor showing he'd exhibited in front of his brother the day before, and what he'd found out from Sarula afterward. He was fairly certain Sesshomaru would never forgive him for that, and he was equally uncertain if he could ever forgive himself for being so stupid.

"Keep your guard up, Inuyasha," Sesshomaru warned; his tone just above a growl. "You are in the middle of a battle. Do not forget who our opponent is here," he commanded as he readied the blade of his sword. "Princess Edera is a crafty sorceress and capable of anything. These youkai are powerful, but they are here merely as a distraction; to wear us down. Do not allow it."

"Yeah, sure," Inuyasha responded refocusing on the task at hand, just in time to quickly dive out of the way, barely avoiding the massive blaze of fire shooting from the errtu's mouth in his general direction. Rolling and bounding to his feet, he wielded Tetsusaiga's power; "Kaze ni kizu," he blared, as he repeatedly unleashed Tetsusaiga's primary force of attack, sending a whirlwind of torrential fire power spiraling toward the approaching errtu, erupting the earth beneath them, shattering the first wave of youkai into thousands of pieces.

Flying swiftly forward, Sesshomaru waved his Bakusaiga erecting a temporary force field around himself to guard against the blazing fire threat headed toward him, then immediately followed suit by calling forth and unleashing the full threat of his Bakusaiga's Ultimate Dragon Strike; a whirlwind of force capable of killing 1000 demon with a single strike. Ten times the power of Tetsusaiga.

The white translucent power and force of what looked like a giant dragon immediately emerged from the sword and briefly engulfed the youkai lord as it quickly dashed toward its target, shaking the ground beneath them and directing an incredibly powerful energy toward the errtu force approaching the brothers.

The blazing red and white form of the youkai lord's dragon force seemed to simultaneously enter and devour the bodies of the errtu as it engulfed them and sped toward their hearts, exploding their bodies from the inside out. A seemingly unending force, the form of the giant dragon seemed to reverse direction as it sped toward the hanyou's attackers and in an instant, they too were gone. Remnants of youkai body parts splayed through the air, coating the skies like falling refuse.

The hanyou gawked in amazement as he snapped his head around to study his brother waving his sword at the approaching errtu once more; his eyes nearly bulging with disbelief. Bakusaiga was more powerful than anything he had ever seen in his life; hell anything he could possibly have imagined. This was not the cutting Bakusaiga Sesshomaru had used against Naraku. Had he discovered a new power in his sword? The power displayed by his brother's weapon seemed to be a direct correlation to the power likely contained in Sesshomaru himself. No wonder he had no further interest in his Tetsusaiga. His own sword was far more powerful. With it, his brother was even more commanding than he would have dreamed. He knew Sesshomaru had always sought power. But why did anyone need _that much_ power? When Sesshomaru had regenerated his arm and received his Bakusaiga, Toutousai had said he'd surpassed their father in both strength and ability. No freaking kidding.

But the hanyou was provided no opportunity to continue dawdling in his thoughts, no opportunity to envy his brother's strength, no opportunity to think about how he had pushed so hard against someone with his brother's ability, and for what reason; because almost instantaneously, a third and fourth set of errtu youkai appeared before them; flying above and around them, circling their targets heads, as a fiery hot blaze shot forth from open mouths and coated the skies, roaring above the hanyou's head as he dove, ran and jumped to avoid the disruptive heat force. Flaring Tetsusaiga's power, Inuyasha swiftly released another series of Kaze ni kizu attacks with an upward thrust aimed directly toward the flying errtu.

Once again, Sesshomaru waived Bakusaiga, erecting yet another temporary shield around himself as he flew up to confront the threat; while once again, releasing his destructive Dragon Strike as the errtu were immediately bombarded by massive fire power, then engulfed and swallowed by the mighty dragon's jaw, then seemed to explode and crumble from the inside out. Within seconds, the youkai lord and the hanyou were deluged by errtu, hundreds perhaps thousands more, but this time several members of the errtu army directed their fiery blaze toward another targeted goal.

"Jaken," the youkai lord called out, diverting his attention toward his companions. Immediately, the little youkai needlessly bustled about, grabbing Rin by the arm and wrapping Ah-Un's reigns around his staff of two heads as he attempted to lead the group back, out of the line of fire, away from the impending threat. But his efforts were pointless; they were all already cloaked within the life sorceress's barrier.

Moving toward the threat that dared seek to injure Rin, or even Jaken, the youkai lord stopped mid-stride as he watched the life sorceress follow suit with the little youkai's quick steps and floated backward to reposition herself and her charges, flaring and releasing more youki power as her barrier vibrated with a burst of energy and expanded, essentially splitting into two, erecting another barrier connected to the original as she separated herself from the others, yet all parts of her barrier held steady against the realm of fire seeking any potential weakness. Then, clearly in an attempt to squelch further threats, Sesshomaru watched as the youkai princess's eyes glowed a vibrant red and a realm of fire seemed to erupt from within her entire body and shoot forth from her hands, as she quickly manipulated them both, releasing an overwhelming barrage of fire power toward the approaching errtu threat.

Continuing to shield Rin, Jaken and Ah-Un in her protective shield, Hidenka Akatsuki hurriedly uttered an enchantment as she moved forward while calling forth the nearby waters of the earth. "Nagisa rai." Instantly, the water that was previously just a marsh surrounding the castle, floated up in the air and splashed down upon the errtu, squelching their fire power as they attempted to breach her barrier.

"Hyou gen kudaku," she called, as she seemed to tap into the energy from the very skies above and a fine frosty mist floated downward, covering and freezing the hides of the dozens of errtu that surrounded the group in their attempt to breach her barrier. The youkai sorceress's hands now unleashed a multitude of swirling thunderous pulses of electrical bolts of energy directly through the deceptively thin shield.

The youkai lord continued to watch as her energy pulse rained down a ferocious attack in retaliation upon the errtu as they twisted, convulsed, exploded and shattered beneath Hidenka Akatsuki's feet.

Sesshomaru studied her with a puzzled gaze as she flared her youki and waged her attack. He did not understand. When she had given him that amulet and transported him to her, he thought her power consisted mainly of magic and trinkets. Even the barrier she used to shield, Rin, Jaken, Ah-Un and even herself, initially seemed only to be like the barrier that vermin Naraku had erected with the help of the shikon no tama; another magic jewel.

But now, to all appearances, her barrier seemed to be part of her very soul; commanded by her will alone; much as his was. Clearly, some of what she used was sorcery, but she used it skillfully. Combined with her own fire power, she used them strategically, with the cunning of a warrior. And then, despite the fact that he had scented it, he had no idea that she had the fire power of a warrior as well. But she was not. She was a member of the Suzaku clan. They were not warriors. How could she contain such fire power and not be a warrior? Why was her clan not warriors?

Upon quickly remembering where he was, Sesshomaru refused to allow himself to be distracted further and instantly redirected his focus. With skill and precision, he quickly rushed forward and using his Bakusaiga's Dragon Strike immediately focused another fierce electrical energy pulse that whipped through the air in an angry fervor as it headed directly toward an additional group of errtu rushing forward in an attempt to breach the youkai hidenka's barrier. The powerful force of Sesshomaru's Dragon Strike released a resounding roar as it engulfed its targets in a cocoon of energy and again sort the hearts of the offending enemy, exploding and rupturing their bodies into mere shards of their former self.

Within seconds, the ground beneath their feet began to quake with an unmistakable rumble. It was immediately followed by the shrill, hollow, malicious laughter of Princess Edera flooding the air from the castle veranda above. Jagged spikes constructed of earth and rock sprang forth from the ground around their feet. Large trees and broken shrubbery wended its way through the air toward the youkai lord, the hanyou and the life sorceress's barrier as the youkai succuvex literally ripped the mazes apart and used them in her attack.

Without a thought, based purely on instinct, Sesshomaru quickly flew upward, above the trees, boulder and debris. Using the power of his Dragon Strike once more, he shattered the shrubbery into splinters of wood, as the hanyou leapt and rolled then struggled to maintain his balance against the cracking ground beneath his feet by digging the blade of his Tetsusaiga into the surrounding earth and holding on for dear life. The youkai life sorceress was forced to flare more youki power as she rejoined her previously split barrier and encircled her charges as she hovered them safely in the air.

"What is she trying to do? Suck us into hell or something?" The hanyou growled, clinging desperately to the hilt of his Tetsusaiga as the earth continued to crunch and crackle beneath his feet.

Snapping his head around to glare at the youkai succuvex, Sesshomaru knew she had simply been toying with him. She had transformed, but she had not previously entered the battle. She simply glared down at them with a haughty arrogance. The youkai lord's eyes burned with vengeance and fury, as he whipped his hand forward and called his swords name to once again unleash the force of his Bakusaiga's Dragon Strike in an effort to shatter both the approaching shrubbery and any approaching errtu as well.

But despite the youkai lord's efforts the errtu threat was not expunged, they were followed by another and yet another set of fire breathing demons - each group seemingly larger and more deadly than the last. Side by side they fought, for what seemed like hours, almost an eternity; in the air and on the ground, then back to back and side by side, the youkai lord and the hanyou, Bakusaiga and Tetsusaiga; as the process repeated itself over and over again; unending, continuous, crumbling earth and fire blazing skies; roaring scorching fire and Dragon Strike; blazing wind fire and Kaze ni kizu; eruption and devastation, followed by explosions and destruction. The castle grounds were flooded with falling body parts.

"They're unending," Inuyasha hollered. "They just keep coming. What the hell is this? We'll never kill them all. I never saw this many errtu in that damned castle."

"Because she is summoning more from hell as they die, trying to wear us down," Sesshomaru growled as he flipped his head to study the succuvex. He had seen enough of this battle, she used magic, but clearly, she was not a skilled warrior. She possessed no weapons and secured herself with no barrier and no armor. Having reached his breaking point, Sesshomaru knew he had to end this. They were on the defensive, not the offensive; this was not a position he enjoyed. There was no way to win using such an unorthodox approach. He needed to change his strategy, but should he leave the hanyou alone? He had to protect him. He had to protect them all. This was his battle. It was him who waged war against this succuvex who dared invade his lands. He could not allow her to win.

Firing his Dragon strike to take down more approaching errtu, the youkai lord refocused once more; Hidenka Akatsuki's barrier remained intact. She, surprisingly, possessed a great deal of fire power even without a weapon. Rin was in good hands, but his brother. There were so many errtu; hundreds, if not thousands still. He had been forced to direct each of his Dragon Strike pulses to make multiple attacks. He could not leave the hanyou to be overwhelmed. But he was strong. He was fast, and his Tetsusaiga was powerful. He had to trust in his ability. He had not questioned his abilities in a long time; not since before that battle with Sou'unga. He could do this. "Stay alert and try to keep them at bay;" the youkai lord commanded. "I will take care of Princess Edera. That is the only way to stop them," Sesshomaru said as he spun on his heels, redirecting his focus to the youkai succuvex, the new focal point of his planned attack strategy.

"Yeah, right," Inuyasha responded as he revved the power of his blade. "Kaze ni kizu," he blared as he rushed forward, swinging his sword to release a torrential whirlwind of power.

"You dare come after me now, do you?" Princess Edera roared with anger, as she glared at the approaching youkai lord; releasing a swarm of youki that enveloped and flooded the air with a thick mist from deep in her lungs as her breath seemed to erupt with a horrendous ferocity. "You come to my castle and destroy my servants. You fool, who do you think you are?" the succuvex bellowed in anger as she twisted her hands, lifting and firing large boulders in the youkai lords direction. "Damn you Lord Sesshomaru, you said I should heed your words; well you need to heed mine. You and you friends will not escape here unscathed," Princess Edera growled as she transformed one final time, eyes blazing red as her body was immediately surrounded by vibrant red blazes of youki power, while she simultaneously uttered some strange form of incantation.

Releasing a powerful roar that emanated from somewhere deep in her lungs, shattering the already loud roar of the horrendous battle; her entire form blazed a vibrant red as a brilliant reddish glow shot forth from every limb of her body and a fiery red glare shot up into the air. The youkai succuvex's energy force whizzed and danced through the skies, then landed mere feet in front of the youkai lord.

Fully transformed, Princess Edera's form had grown an additional ten feet, making her height at nearly 30 feet tall, as her now clubbed feet thudded on the bricked walkway. In this iteration, her face transformed into what looked like the faces of several male youkai and a wild demon bird all rolled into one as her nose took on a beaklike form; her wingspan was wild and deadly as it shielded her giant arms. Roaring in anger, she flicked her hands toward the youkai lord, unleashing a barrage of spike like claws toward his form.

Flying up and away with lightning speed, Sesshomaru easily avoided the shooting claw attack, but was caught unprepared when the youkai succuvex flapped one of her giant wings, knocking him back - hard.

Furious at having been brushed aside so easily, the youkai lord quickly stopped his reverse propulsion and immediately propelled himself back toward her, as the youkai succuvex finalized her enchantment spell.

"Restoration be damned," Princess Edera bellowed through now, harsh, animalistic lungs as a thick reddish mist moved quickly across the blackened night sky, encircling, then bypassing the youkai lord as Tenseiga pulsed, and vibrated wildly at his hip. But the mist continued on its path as it crept quickly toward its intended objective.

Despite his continued anger at being knocked aside so easily, Sesshomaru furrowed his brows at the succuvex's strange and unexpected actions, then clasped his hand tightly across the hilt of his Tenseiga to silence it, before spinning to view the path of the mist that bypassed him and headed directly toward the life sorceress, Rin, Jaken and Ah-Un. The youkai lord gasped faintly when the life sorceress's barrier dropped slightly above her head for a mere instant as the fine mist drifted downward and encircled her. But despite her momentary look of stunned surprise, Hidenka Akatsuki quickly re-established her protective barrier; then turned her head in an apparent check of her charges.

Sesshomaru was relieved to see they all appeared unharmed; but he had never seen miasma, if that's what it was, like that before. It had no power. It did no apparent damage. What was its purpose?

"If your miasma is no more powerful than that Princess Edera," Sesshomaru said as he turned to face the succuvex once again. "I suggest you retreat now, while you can."

"Retreat?" Princess Edera blared with a vicious red coloring coating her eyes and skin, as she snapped her head to glare down at him. "Never," she declared as she now turned, building up a pulse of powerful electrical energy in her palms. She glared viciously as she lifted her clubbed feet and tried to stomp on the youkai lord's head, her hands rising in an apparent attempt to direct her energy force in the youkai lord's direction as he flew up and around her. "That miasma will be your downfall," throaty, guttural words flowed menacingly from her lips.

Preparing to deflect the energy back at its originator, Sesshomaru readied his sword, as he positioned his body; but he soon discovered that the youkai princess had simply been lolling him into false confidence as she quickly spun and redirected her energy pulse toward the young hanyou.

"No-o-o-o," Sesshomaru roared, flying swiftly through the air toward his younger brother, hoping to position himself so that he could utilize Bakusaiga's shield to block the impact of the electrical energy force that was now seeking the hanyou's form.

But he was too late.

Upon hearing the deep, mighty roar of his brother's voice, Inuyasha spun too late to avoid the attack, as the electrical energy pulse struck him full force in the mid-section. Bright electrical sparks erupted, exploding and bursting forth as it ripped the life force from the young hanyou's body without mercy.

Infuriated, Sesshomaru's eyes widened, as he gawked helplessly at his brother's body jerking and spinning as it flew backward through the air. Finally, he crumbled lifelessly to the ground, amidst all manner of rock and debris. In that instant, the youkai lord felt his entire body tremble as his own heart seemed to collapse. Frozen by the sight before him, it was as if his very heart had been ripped from his body and he was now nothing more than a hollow core.

Stopping mid-air, Sesshomaru eyes gaped wide with horror as he watched him; his brother's body splayed across the ground like a large, broken red doll. Reaching for his Tenseiga, the youkai lord's own eyes blurred by the sight before him, he stood frozen, incapable of movement as Tenseiga remained silent at his side. It no longer spoke, no longer vibrated, no longer showed signs of life. In fact, his sword remained staunchly silent as it rested lifelessly against the youkai lord's side. It contained no energy, no pulse. His Tenseiga was as lifeless as his brother's body.

How could this happen? How did he let this happen? Sesshomaru wondered, his gaze staring silently at the sword at his hip. It could not be. That hanyou could not be dead. Not now. Not when he had specifically come to save him. When he had made that promise to his chichi-ue that he would try, he had essentially agreed to save him. He had essentially agreed to always save him. That was to be his obligation. But he had not fulfilled his obligation. He had failed; and now, his younger brother was gone. He had paid for his elder brother's failure to fulfill his obligation with his life. He was gone and there was nothing the youkai lord could do to bring him back; because his accused sword refused to bow to his will.

Then Sesshomaru heard it; a high pitched, shrill laughter that echoed from behind him - Princess Edera, cackling, rudely, in the distance. Her large, oversized head, held high in triumph.

Erupting with an uncontrollable fury, the youkai lord roared an unrestrained, ferocious feral scream that emanated from somewhere deep in the hollows of his very soul, then he moved; spinning in mid-flight, reversing course with lightning speed; moving so swiftly toward the now giant youkai sorceress, that he was nothing more than a vague red and white blur.

She had to die. He would kill her with his bare hands. He could not save his brother now; but this youkai would pay with her own life. She had to. With his Bakusaiga poised for attack, Sesshomaru sped toward the transformed youkai succuvex with a determined ferocity he had never before exhibited as he darted left and right, up and down, back and forth, avoiding all contact with the giant flapping wings and dagger claws, as he prepared for an uncustomary hands on strike. In the blink of an eye, he was there; piercing her enlarged heart with a single thrust.

Issuing a solitary cry, Sesshomaru released the swords power into her chest, "Die!" he growled. Hatred like he had never felt in all his existence, blazing to life inside him as he twisted his palm with a ferocity that sent his blade spinning through her chest.

With as much fury as its master had unleashed, the giant dragon emerged from inside the youkai succuvex's chest and the sword's power exploded, releasing riotous lightning pulses as it vibrated, shuddered and trembled; decimating into nothingness, what was once the body of Princess Edera, as some small remaining remnant shrank and fell limply from the blade of Sesshomaru's sword, finally slamming closed, the door to hell, forcing the disappearance of all remaining errtu.

His blood still boiling with fury and rage, Sesshomaru wanted to strike again. To rip that succuvex's life from her body once more, to thrust his claws into her throat releasing the full force of his internal poison; to watch her tremble beneath his grip. But it was done, it was over, she was gone; and... and so was his brother. Yet, he was unable to calm himself, incapable of accepting the reality, he knew he had to face as he remained unwilling to turn and focus on a scene he did not wish to see. Frozen, he stared unseeing at the destruction at his feet; the lifeless remnants of the youkai succuvex; his fangs grinding sharply in heated intensity.

He had waged this battle with the intent of taking that succuvex's life. And he had done that; but this battle had not ended at all as he had hoped, Sesshomaru realized as he gripped firmly onto the tsuka of his sword, his heart aching with an ache he had never felt before.

This was not his objective. This was not his intent. But the youkai lord knew that what lay not 15 feet behind him was his reality. And he knew that with the silence of his sword, there was nothing he could do, except ...

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**A/N: In Inuyasha's words 'what the freaking hell' just happened? Inuyasha's dead? That can't be. What did I do? I don't have the right to do that, do I? Well, maybe so. I did kill off Kaede-babaa after all, didn't I? Give a person a computer and they don't know where to draw the line.**

**But I thought the purpose of this story was supposed to bring the two brothers together and expand on their lives. How can they be together if one of them is dead? Besides, what's wrong with Sesshomaru's sword? It didn't save Inuyasha when he was sick, but I thought it brought people back to life at least once? Was Inuyasha saved by his father when he was born, so he can't be saved now? I don't think so. I'm certain I remember hearing him crying when his father swung the Tenseiga.**

**So what happens now? Will Sesshomaru get the meidou stone from his mother? Will he bring Inuyasha to her? That might not actually be advisable. There is no way his haha-ue would save her former mate's hanyou child, is there? But I guess he can always take him to his mother, leave him outside, get the stone and use it, I guess. But is it hers alone to control. I have no idea. But maybe Jaken can steal it.**

**Hopefully, the next chapter has some answers. See you soon, my lovelies! **

Bakuryuuha - (the Backlash Wave is a deadly attack that envelops the opponent's energy in the Tetsusaiga's Wind Scar, and reverses the flow of the energy back at Inuyasha's opponent)  
hidenka's - (princess's)  
Hidenka Akatsuki (a-kot-ski) - (Princess Aurora)  
Hyou gen kudaku - (ice, freeze and shatter)  
Kaze ni kizu - (windscar)  
kyuu shou - (flying flight sphere, ball, orb – Sessy's ball energy)  
Nagisa rai - (sea water come)  
shikon no tama - (sacred jewel of four souls)  
tuska - (hilt)  
youki - (demon power)


	23. Chapter 23 Sesshomaru's Failure

**A/N: Well, it took a long time to get the last chapter uploaded because of the submission errors I kept receiving, but at least this one didn't have much editing left, so I was able to upload it pretty quickly.**

**Anyway, so what's going to happen now? Did Inuyasha really die last time? Unfortunately, he didbut, is there anything Sesshomaru can do to bring him back?**

**Sesshomaru & Inuyasha: Kyoudai de Kōtetsu  
Sesshomaru & Inuyasha: Brothers in Arms**

Shō 23 - Sesshomaru's Shippai  
Chapter 23 - Sesshomaru's Failure

_Sesshomaru, do you have something to protect?_

The all too familiar phrase rang through the youkai lord's head like an ominous piercing whistle; repeating itself without mercy; tearing at his spirit, filling Sesshomaru with an anger he had never felt in all his years. He was furious with everyone and everything. He was even furious with himself. Why, could he not stop himself from thinking about his chichi-ue's last words to him? It had been over a year since he and Inuyasha had fought Sou'unga, and sent that accursed sword to hell. But since that time he had been pestered by his vision of his chichi-ue, as well as those words over and over again. And he could not determine why.

Is this it chichi-ue? The youkai lord wondered to himself, as he fought to contain his inner anger. Is this what you wanted for your eldest son? Is this why you wanted me to care? But no answer was forthcoming. The air around him thudded thick and silent, save for the deep snorting breath of Ah-Un, the soft whimpers of Rin, the muffled mumbles of Jaken, and the unsteady beating of his own heart.

Curling his claws into his palm, Sesshomaru pierced deep into his own flesh, unable to reconcile himself to the truth that lay behind him as his blood flowed thick and free through his fingers. This could not be, he told himself; but he knew that it was. He had seen death enough times to know it when he saw it, and he knew what he had seen. But he also knew if he had told the hanyou what that succuvex was, he would not have come. If he had told him what she was when he had come, he would not have stayed. But would he not? The hanyou himself cared not what he said that night. He wanted only for this daiyoukai to be away. But in the end, he had not and Inuyasha did. That foolish hanyou had always rushed full speed into danger with no thoughts of a plan. And now, he had paid for his recklessness with his own life.

Taking a long, deep breath, Sesshomaru knelt and wiped the edges of his sword on the grassy earth at his feet, cleaning away the blood staining his pristine blade; before sliding it stiffly into the sheath at his hip; before turning and walking unwillingly toward the fallen hanyou that lay behind him. He had come to save him, but he had not; he had failed. Except in his attempt to obtain the hanyou's sword, he had never failed before; but this failure would not hurt quite so much if it had not cost his younger brother his life. He had wanted him to travel with him, because he had wanted to teach him so much. He had wanted to earn his trust. He had wanted to compensate for the time he had left him alone. He had wanted to ...

But all that lay before them now was... nothing. Nothing except a truth he did not wish to see; a truth he did not even wish to think about as he rotated his body toward the reality he knew he had to face as he joined his companions now kneeling beside his brother's body. There was nothing there; no breath to be heard; no movement of his chest; nothing to be seen; nothing to cut; no minions of the afterlife to slay; and thus, no way to bring his brother back. His sword would not speak to him. His brother… was truly gone.

The youkai lord looked up and studied her face now as he made his way back toward his companions. Rin-the young human girl who had first ignited the changes in his heart; the young human girl who had approached this daiyoukai when he was injured, and tried to rescue him. The girl who had not cried and run even when he had growled at her. The young human girl who had quite some time ago, warmed this youkai's cold heart enough for him to care. He watched as she looked at him in disbelief, her eyes wide in stunned shock, as tears overflowed and spilled down her cheeks; and the youkai lord felt incapable of looking into those large questioning brown eyes. He felt incapable of answering the question she would ask. He was aware that she had learned to care for his brother almost as much as she cared for him. But he had broken her heart. Something he had never wanted to do. But he had let her down; he had let his brother down. He had let everyone down, including himself.

_You two are brothers; and brothers shouldn't fight. If you fight, then you'll just be lonely. I don't want you or Lord Sesshomaru to be lonely._

_Lonely._ He recalled hearing when she had spoken those words to the hanyou. It was just after the time that the hanyou, himself, had demanded answers. Answers to questions he had never previously considered. But what answers could he provide now? He had none to give.

"My... lord...," Rin began, fighting the tears in her own eyes, as she watched the lone tear tickle down his face. "Is Inuyasha..."

"I cannot save him," Sesshomaru responded regrettably, fully aware that Tenseiga was as silent now, as it had been when Kagura had died, as it had been when Rin had died that second time, and as it had been when Inuyasha was near death when he had been poisoned by that low level youkai.

Was this his punishment for not knowing his sword, or for not wanting it? But ever since he had received it over two hundred years ago, he had never parted with it. It was always by his side. But this accursed sword now refused to bow to his will.

Sesshomaru's gaze moved to take in the little youkai. Even Jaken seemed overwhelmed with a touch of sorrow, probably more for his master's sake than for the young hanyou's. He had never seen his master sad enough to tear before; such a display had always been beneath him.

But at this moment, Sesshomaru cared not who saw his tears. He had lost his brother and there was nothing he could do to bring him back. The sword his chichi-ue had bequeathed him, remained silent at his side.

The life sorceress stood overwhelmed as she sensed the growing sorrow that surrounded her. Only once before, had she ever felt sorrow; from her own family, when she had lost her sister. But now, she was overcome by what she sensed now. From the little girl's obvious despair to the sadness in the youkai lord's heart, Hidenka Akatsuki's own heart cried out in pain; and she could not bear it. Her head spun with disbelief. Her heart throbbed in agony behind her flesh. She felt as if she was floating, drifting away. What was this horrid sensation she experienced? It did not feel real. She felt so disjointed. Was it because of her connection to the young hanyou? She had never been connected to anyone who had died before. Or perhaps it had something to do with that mist Princess Edera had unleashed. But what was that? And why had she released it. She would not have known of her connection to the hanyou, so had she tried to kill her as well? Is that why her barrier had dropped? Whatever it was, she should have known better. She knew of Princess Edera's connection to dark magic, yet she had not prepared herself. But things had happened so quickly and she was already expending a great deal of youki to protect her charges. But for certain, Hidenka Akatsuki knew whether her life was of interest to the youkai succuvex or not, she would have wanted nothing more than to destroy her lord. Her lord who had almost single handedly decimated the princess's entire errtu force.

But Princess Edera's desires mattered not. The hanyou was dead, and that should not be. He was but a mere innocent like her sister was; and he should not be gone. Why had she not seen this? He was connected to her soul, but she had not sensed his death at this time. Had their not retrieving him earlier changed his fate? The youkai lord, she was certain, would likely not believe in fate. Most youkai did not. They believed only in what they could control with their own power. But she was a Suzaku life sorceress; she was not a warrior. Her people were not warriors. They fought only to protect their own.

Her clan had learned the hard way that all things were controlled by a higher power. And even with all her power she could not see all there was to see; especially that which was shielded by dark magic. No, she was not a warrior, nor was she a god. She was a Suzaku youkai, pure and simple. But she had sensed nothing of Princess Edera's true objectives. But that was impossible, was it not? How could she not have sensed her heart's intent? There was not a youkai alive that could block their hearts true motives from her, except perhaps another life sorceress. But had Princess Edera found some way to block her senses? Was it because of her sister's soul that she had devoured so long ago? Or was it because of the dark magic she employed. It would have to have been very powerful dark magic to block her heart from her so completely. If she had sensed anything of this nature, she would have shielded the young hanyou with her barrier.

But then, there was also the youkai lord's sword. It too, no longer cried out. But she had sensed its life giving force when they had first met; but at this moment, it remained silent. Lord Sesshomaru was not using it. That meant he too, must sense nothing from it. Had Princess Edera done something to prevent that as well? She had not thought her capable of such power. But had she not known that she was tapping into the dark powers of hell by calling forth those errtu? Was she somehow tapping into the powers of the dark demon lord there as well? If she was, what else had she managed to conceal? But in truth, she must have; those errtu were formed by him, were they not? But did that truly matter? No, it mattered not what else Princess Edera had concealed. The hanyou was dead. The connection she still had to his soul told her as much. Her own heart had spiked when his had ceased to beat.

Her head spinning with an unfamiliar lightness, the life sorceress stood stunned, unable to comprehend what had happened. When the youkai lord had not retrieved his brother, she had sensed this might not end well. But that was because she had thought Princess Edera's ability to call forth the errtu might be overwhelming. That is how she had managed to kill so many Suzaku guards so long ago, but she had never considered this outcome. She had confronted the youkai lord in an attempt to preserve the hanyou's life. She had wanted to save him. The steps she took then should have preserved his life, not resulted in this.

Hidenka Akatsuki suddenly felt a painful jolt in her heart and body, causing her to gasp in surprised agony as her head spun with a furious turmoil. What was that? She wondered. Something pushing against her heart, clamping onto her body; chilling her all over, trying to force its way into her very being.

Was that...? Could it be possible? No, she needed to think. She was simply unsettled by the sight before her. It could not be. But yes, she realized what she sensed now as she closed her eyes to take in the forces surrounding her. He was here still. She felt him nearby, all around her. His soul had not departed to the netherworld. Had he not departed because he was confused or perhaps…, because of their connection? Quite likely, it was both, because even now, she still had a soul to soul connection with the young hanyou and she now understood that he knew not where he belonged.

She had not previously considered this, but her connection to him, likely held him here. His life was connected to her life and her life to his. Surely, he had felt her life force and tasted her breath and he wanted to belong despite his death. The connection between them was still just barely alive within her. But there was so little there, just barely a whisper; she could sense him huddled on the edges of existing and not.

But what did that truly mean? Did that mean he might yet be saved? Did that mean she could save him still? No, to her knowledge, such a thing had never been done. But having no knowledge of a previous occurrence of an incident, meant _not_ that it _could not_ be done. It meant only that _she_ knew not of its having been done. Was the world not changing daily? Had not her own clan changed so long ago? Did that not mean anything was possible? But what could she do? She wondered as she stared at the faces of her lord and his charges. So much pain enveloped the air; so much anguish tortured their hearts.

The life sorceress struggled to think; trying to determine what could be done. Even if the hanyou's soul existed still, his body was dead. His body required life for him to return. But could she…? Perhaps..., perhaps if she flared sufficient youki power and dissolved the connection, his soul could find its way. But to do that, his body would require life, and it had none. But her soul was connected to his soul, should she now restore his life with her own life force? That meant she would have to jolt his heart in some manner. She would have to push some of her own life force through their unseen connection so that his soul could find a beating heart. But was that even possible? She wondered. She had healed many youkai before, she had even healed herself, but she had never done anything like that; could she possibly call on an ability she had never used? She did not know, but somehow she had to be the one to correct this. The hanyou's soul still hovered around her, still seeking to exist. And clearly, her lord's sword contained no energy.

But _could_ she correct this? Would she be asking the impossible of herself? Would she damage herself through such an effort? She did not wish to give false hope to her lord or to his charges. She could sense their pain, but if there was any chance, she had to try to re-establish the hanyou's dying soul before the connection faded completely within her. She just had to tap into her own internal energy and give him some of her life force. But to make such a transfer of energy, she would have to expend a great deal of youki. But how much? She knew not; because she had no scale upon which to judge. With everyone so close, the human child would never survive, the two youkai may also well not survive; her lord..., her lord – he was powerful, but would he? The life sorceress knew not if he would survive such an explosion of energy, but she had to try to do something before it was too late. Somehow, she needed to try to correct this.

So many years ago, when she had first made the connection with her young master, it had been her choice to involve herself in his life. But then, she had never dissolved their connection. Had she not done that because this was _to be_ her fate? Even when she had realized that he had awakened, she had not broken it, and as long as they were connected, it was her responsibility to try to restore his stolen life. She was a life sorceress after all. Is this not what that meant? If this did not work, she will have failed in her responsibility to her lord. She will have failed her young master as well. As a youkai under her lord's rule, it was her obligation to be of service to him, but she had not been and now his heart cried out. But if she could do this... .

Moving forward, the life sorceress bypassed the stream of puzzled gazes that watched her movements. Kneeling slowly, she placed her hands upon the hanyou's fallen form, as she flared her healing youki to seal his wounds. She could not tell them her plans since she knew not if this would work. But the hidenka ran through the steps in her mind; his body was so badly damaged that without first healing him, there would be no point; his soul would never choose to return she realized, as she now touched his chest and arm; a silver white glow flowing softly from her body and into the hanyou's, essentially giving him some of her warmth, closing his wounds, establishing an exit point for the physical connection between them.

She first needed to perform a separation enchantment, in essence, a reversal of her original touch that created their connection. If she did that, she could perhaps force his soul back to him. But without her handmaidens it would be an aborted enchantment. But that would have to be enough. Still, she required a location to expend her youkai to transfer her life force in an attempt to get his heart to beat.

Knowing full well that she would have to expend a great deal of youki power to transfer her life force and not willing to risk injuring anyone else, Hidenka Akatsuki turned and flew toward the heavens, making the effort to place distance between them. "Move everyone back my lord," she ordered as she flew up into the skies, rising higher into the heavens, bracing her body against the freezing winds as she folded her arms across her chest, seeking and tapping into the young hanyou's soul that was connected to her own; seeking an avenue of exit for her own life force. Summoning forth her youki energy to envelope the connection and pass her life force through the winds.

"Jaken," Sesshomaru called not quite sure why she had requested it as he watched her fly higher into the sky; her body exploding with a vibrant yellow white glow, like a mini sun, as she surrounded herself with youki power. So much power resided within her, he thought; but what was she going to do? But she had sealed the hanyou's wounds, and then, he had heard that life sorceress' had the ability to heal others, had he not? But the hanyou no longer lived. Could those rumors be more than that? Could it be that ...? No rumors were exactly that, were they not; speculations of hope. But he did hope. He had too. That was all he had now.

"Come, Rin. Let's go," Jaken called grabbing the young girl's arm.

Flaring her youki power, the hidenka wrapped herself in a vibrant yellowish white glow, gathering the power residing in her body, pulling it from deep within. Forcing it up and out; forcing it to do her bidding. She could do this, she told herself. She had to.

Releasing a powerful force of accumulated energy through the palms of her hands, Hidenka Akatsuki fired it toward the hanyou's fallen form along with a mixture of her own life force. Inuyasha's entire body vibrated and trembled as it was covered by the life giving energy force the hidenka had provided.

With her intent only to provide sufficient life energy to revive the young hanyou so that he could heal in a more traditional manner, the hidenka was suddenly gripped by some unknown force, and she felt the whole of her life energy being drained from her body; forcefully, violently being sucked out of her. With the speed of light, it flew out and away, draining her, exhausting her, killing her.

Instinctively, her personal protective barrier throbbed and pulsed a vibrant bluish glow around her, as she fought to break the connection by trying to block the attacking force. But despite the fact that she succeeded in accomplishing her immediate desire; initiating her barrier also succeeded in further draining her strength. Despite using all of her personal ability to fight the surprising attack, the hidenka soon found herself overwhelmed, as her barrier flickered to nothingness and she was unable to save herself. With her strength fading as she fell to the earth below, she released a high pitched harrowing, bone chilling scream.

With her life force unexpectedly drained, Hidenka Akatsuki spiraled and tumbled through the darkened night sky, falling toward the earth, plummeting before the youkai lord's shocked eyes. Swiftly, he was moving; flying closer toward her as he spread his arms to catch her mid-air. Cradling her in his arms, he lowered them both to the ground. He would not loose anyone else.

Gently laying her beside his fallen brother, Sesshomaru listened for the sound of her breath, then uttered a slight sigh when he heard a faint sound, a minor cadence, a faintly rhythmic pulse. She was weak, but she lived still. But what had she done and why?

The youkai lord's own heart though nearly stopped, when behind him he heard an even louder cadence, a stronger pulse, followed by a choking cough and vague sounds of movement. To his amazement, he spun in time to see Inuyasha's body twitching with signs of life.

"What the hell happened?" the hanyou demanded the moment his confused and puzzled eyes opened, as he gripped at the ache still pervading his mid-section while pushing himself to a sitting position.

"Oh, Inuyasha. You're all right. I'm so happy!" Rin screamed with delight. "I was so worried!" She insisted, her face beaming brightly as she rushed toward him, but without further explanation as tears trickled from the corners of her eyes.

Inuyasha shrugged, fearing another uninvited hug, as he turned a confused gaze toward his brother.

"Hidenka Akatsuki revived you," Sesshomaru informed him, knowing that had to be what she had done before she fell, as he turned his head toward the fallen hidenka. But had she given her own life force to do that? Why?

"Hidenka Aka-Akatsuki ?" Revived him, what did that mean? Inuyasha blinked his puzzlement under scrunched eyebrows as he looked at the female youkai lying beside him; her golden tone accented by the light of the moon. "Is she... dead?"

"No," Sesshomaru responded. "She lives still, but her strength has been greatly weakened. It will likely take some time for her recovery."

"Who is she?"

"A life sorceress from the Suzaku clan in the western lands," Sesshomaru answered briefly. There was no need to go into detail at this moment of how she ended up involved in this. The hanyou would surely feel responsible, but all of this was his responsibility to bear.

Rising to his feet, Inuyasha looked at his brother as he scented and sighted the blood drying on his hands, circling through his fingers. His eyes wide with shock, the hanyou's hands rose, then lingered mid-air, just outside the reach of his brother's fingers as he now scented the faint trace of salt in the air. But not from Rin, this salt hovered above his head. His golden gaze darted upward, lighting on the streak of the tear that had dried on Sesshomaru's face. "Sesshomaru...?" he called questioningly.

The youkai lord straightened his shoulders and turned away, "You had died. I found that unacceptable," he said in his usual indifferent tone, though his face had momentarily displayed something other than its customary emotionless mask of frozen aloofness.

"I'd... died..." The hanyou's eyes widened even more before he lowered his head in disbelief fingering the scorched hole in his haori. He'd died and an unknown hidenka had revived him and Sesshomaru had shed tears. He'd actually shed tears over him? No, he would never have thought Sesshomaru would do that. Not for him. Damn, his emotions swelled in his chest; his youkai lord brother got more and more puzzling every day. That just goes to show how much he needed to learn about him. Unwilling to embarrass him further, Inuyasha changed the subject. "What about that damned Princess Edera?"

"She is done. I took her life," Sesshomaru stated with little emphasis, though his tone was cloaked with a slight edge of fury and the desire to turn and rip out that succuvex's heart once more, "and her errtu have returned to hell."

"Is there anything we can do for her?" Inuyasha redirected his attention to the youkai Sesshomaru had referred to as Hidenka Akatsuki.

Sesshomaru focused his attention on the unconscious hidenka. She lay helplessly before him, her hair splayed softly around her face; her breathing faint and barely existent. What had she done, he continued to wonder. Had she selflessly transferred her own life force to his brother? He knew so little about the life sorceress. He knew so little about the Suzaku clan in general. But he had to do something to save her, he could not allow her to die, but his sword...; his Tenseiga... He lifted his head and turned toward the castle. To take her in there; to Princess Edera's castle. Could he do that? Should he? That youkai had killed Hidenka Akatsuki younger sister. To have her awaken there might be unforgivable; but he could not allow her to continue laying here either.

Following his brother's line of vision, Inuyasha chimed in, "I don't think there's anyone inside anymore," he said as he looked down at the hidenka. "She'd probably be better off in one of the beds than on the ground."

No, Sesshomaru doubted there was anyone there either, but his primary thought was that he had to care for the Suzaku hidenka now. Besides, Princess Edera was dead; this castle was now his to rule. The life sorceress need not concern herself with that succuvex any longer. "Jaken, scour the castle grounds, see if there is a stable for Ah-Un," the youkai lord commanded as he lifted Hidenka Akatsuki into his arms once again. "Secure him and find him some food. Burn away these body parts when you are done."

"Yes me lord," Jaken said as he grabbed the dragon's reigns and headed off into the darkness.

"Inuyasha..." Sesshomaru turned to his brother, an unspoken question on his lips.

"I'll get Rin to bed," the hanyou offered as if he'd read his brother's mind and thinking he'd caused enough trouble already, but silently acknowledging that he would stay with them for a while, at least. "I won't let her see this mess."

Upon flying into the castle, Sesshomaru located a large vacant bedroom on the western end, but immediately scented the overpowering presence of Princess Edera in the room and moved further down the hall to one of the other vacant rooms. He realized he had done that partially because he, himself, did not wish the constant reminder of the youkai succuvex who had dared try to take his brother's life permeating his own senses, but though reluctant to admit it, it was also partially in consideration for the hidenka, because her sister had been killed by that succuvex and he did not want her to scent that youkai when she awakened. But despite his hesitancy to admit it, that fact was more pertinent than he preferred it to be.

Entering the new bedroom, Sesshomaru laid Hidenka Akatsuki down on a large platform bed, with a thick futon mattress and a single large pillow that straddled the entire width of the headboard; then he studied her with a dismal expression. Inuyasha had been offended by his youkai style healing treatments of him. He was certain a full youkai would not be offended so, but he had no idea how to treat a Suzaku life sorceress; and he also knew not what her true injuries were.

He knew instinctively, though, that she had given some of her own life force to revive his brother, but he did not understand why. Recently, he had been wrestling with his own compassion, it amazed him that a youkai could be so compassionate toward a hanyou she did not really know. He was certain she would not have done that, though, if it would cost her life. Perhaps that was an answer she could provide when she awakened. But if she did not recover soon, she would die; but his Tenseiga was as silent now, as it ever had been; which left the youkai lord puzzled and not to mention, slightly angered.

What is it chichi-ue? What do you want me to do? Why can I not save her? The youkai lord called to his father for answers, as he studied the fading sorceress, but all answers evaded him.

Sesshomaru listened again to the hidenka's breathing; it was low, just short of steady. It had the same unsteady cadence it had the last time he had listened. Her heart beat remained weak, a mere pulse. If she was not better by tomorrow, he would have to go back to the western lands to bring back one of her compatriots. That though, was not something he exactly relished; it was far to committal; so all he could do now, was let her rest.

Taking note of the clothing the life sorceress wore, Sesshomaru remembered his thoughts when they first met were the same as they were now. How could she breathe in such a garment? Perhaps that is why her breathing seemed so low at this moment. He surmised she would probably be more comfortable if she were not so tightly confined. But there were no female youkai in his group, and Rin was much too young. The last of Princess Edera's errtu servants had returned to hell when he had taken her life. But still, it would not be appropriate for him to invade her privacy so freely, would it?

_I would never be embarrassed by having my flesh looked upon by such a powerful youkai lord._

Resigning himself, Sesshomaru took a deep breath, loosened his sash to remove his swords and laid them on the floor, concealed his mokomoko so he, himself, would be less encumbered, removed his haramaki, then checked the room's closet in an attempt to locate a kimono, or something less binding for the hidenka to sleep in. Having found a mauve one with green leaves circling its edges, he set about the task of removing the binding outfit that clearly constricted the hidenka's breathing.

Reaching down to her feet, he removed the low ankle boots she wore so he would be able to slip off the hakama type garment covering her legs. He was relieved to see she wore some kind of under garment that covered the vital parts. The youkai lord was not pleased, though, when he lifted the hidenka's torso into his arms to determine how to remove her top. Her temperature was cool to his touch. Much too cool for a youkai to survive, at least three degrees or more lower than it should be; but perhaps she would quickly recover once she was able to breathe properly; he hoped. Upon inspecting her outfit, Sesshomaru located several ties beneath Hidenka Akatsuki's arms and undid the bows to remove the upper part of her garment before laying her on her back once more; but his breath caught momentarily as his eyes widened and focused on the vision before him.

Several times, he had considered how she managed to breath in such a restrictive garment, but not once had he considered what she looked like beneath it, though in such a form fitting outfit, not much had been concealed from his sight. So close to her in this situation now, the youkai lord was able to observe her curves and the golden brown tone of her skin with her silky white hair brushing softly against her delicate shoulders. Unlike when he had first encountered her, now she looked so helpless, but in her current state of undress, she also appeared to be about the most beautiful sight he believed he had ever seen.

Immediately shocked that he harbored such a despicable thought, Sesshomaru quickly closed his eyes and shook his head. What was wrong with him? Was he turning into his hanyou brother? To look at a female and see only the obvious; something that did nothing to evaluate her power or her abilities. How could he possibly forget his station so quickly? This youkai _was_ helpless. He was a youkai lord for goodness sakes, she was a hidenka; he would not allow himself to be distracted with such insignificant details. Her form did nothing to assist her in battle, and it should also hold no interest for him.

Stoning his emotions, Sesshomaru opened his eyes and noted that at least the items she wore beneath the garment that had been constricting her, were not quite so constraining. He had seen female under attire before. It was called a hada-juban but this one was tailored differently from what he had recalled seeing. Instead of sleeves, what the hidenka wore contained two straps across each arm, and was cut short below the bodice, holding her chest firmly. In addition to the constrictive exterior outfit, the Suzaku clan also wore strange undergarments, but he assumed she had them created specifically to be worn beneath the youkai silk skin outer outfit she wore.

But that mattered not, Sesshomaru realized as he determined that the hidenka could perhaps sleep more comfortably in her undergarments and laid the kimono on a chair to be used by her when she awoke; then he moved her limbs into a more relaxed position and covered her body with the bedding before scouring the closet for additional bedding in an attempt to keep her warm. He could not forget that her temperature was so cool to his touch, and lit a small fire in the room's fire pit. She had to have lost quite a bit of her internal power to be so cool to his touch, he realized. Not knowing what else to do as he covered her securely, Sesshomaru decided for now, he would simply let her sleep. But not the least bit pleased with the vague sound of her breathing, the youkai lord decided he would have to come back later to check on her. He hoped by then, he would find her in better health. He did not relish the likely outcome, if he did not.

**A/N: ****Wow, I hope I didn't make Sesshomaru to quick about taking off the poor hidenka's clothes, but what else could he do, she was barely breathing? And then, once they were off, he is a man, and he had to look, but hopefully I put him in the right frame of mind quickly enough. I didn't want him to seem like some kind of pervert. He is a youkai lord, for goodness sakes.**

Anyway, I'm glad Inuyasha seems to be okay. And I'm glad that Sesshomaru now seems to have a castle of his own. Hopefully soon, we'll be able to find out what happens there; and of course, I would also like to see if my oc recovers. (But having Sesshomaru take care of her, is not such a bad thing, unless he decides he can't be bothered.)

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Akatsuki - (Aurora)  
chichi-ue - (father)  
daiyoukai - (great demon)

**hada-juban - (basic underwear)  
hakama - (pant)  
hidenka - (princess)  
Hidenka Akatsuki (A-kot-ski) - (Princess Aurora/Dawn)  
youkai - (demon)**


	24. Chapter 24 An Undesired Obligation

**A/N: Well, Thank goodness Inuyasha is not dead. It looks like he was saved by the Life Sorceress, but it looks like she's out now, herself. Who will save her? Sesshomaru's sword still isn't working, so what will happen?**

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**Sesshomaru & Inuyasha: Kyoudai de Kōtetsu  
Sesshomaru & Inuyasha: Brothers in Arms**

Shō 24 - Fuhitsuyō Sekimu  
Chapter 24 - An Undesired Obligation

Sesshomaru returned his swords to their position at his hips; left the youkai hidenka in the bedroom to rest; placed his haramaki in a neighboring bedroom, then returned to the entry to exchange his boots for the more traditional interior slippers. Finally, he scented and found Inuyasha sitting on a comfortable sofa in what appeared to be a large general sitting area; apparently he had been awaiting his arrival.

Pausing at the exterior of the door, the youkai lord eyed the young hanyou. His brother was alive and well, and he was grateful for that, but he could not help but consider the events of the evening. His actions had resulted in a youkai who wanted only to assist him, now being near death. It angered him to know that he was unable to return to her what she had given to him. Her power as a life sorceress had protected his comrades and restored his brother's life. If she did not recover soon, or if he had to venture to the Suzaku compound to retrieve assistance, he knew his power as a youkai lord would leave him obligated to return to her that service.

He was fairly certain, that was something he did not wish to do. But it was his own arrogance that had placed him in this situation. Why he had accepted her assistance for the sake of the hanyou, he knew not; because he had never before required or accepted assistance of any sort. But her abilities allowed her to accomplish something his sword had not; and denied him still.

"How is Rin, is she well?" Sesshomaru asked as he entered the large room, attempting to put aside, at least for a few moments, his thoughts of his failures.

"Yeah, I put her in the bedroom next to mine. Jaken took the room next door. I figured the hidenka could use some peace and quiet," Inuyasha informed him. From what he'd seen of her, she was deathly ill, and assuming peace and quiet would be one of the best aides in her recovery, the hanyou had situated Rin and Jaken on the complete opposite and furthest end of the castle, but at least they were near the room he had decided to keep. There were several rooms next to the hidenka's that Sesshomaru could use if he wanted to stay close to better monitor her recovery.

"Good," Sesshomaru said with a deep breath, his brows furrowed, his mind still swarming with undesired thoughts. He was in a displeasing situation with no honorable exit. He was the lord of the western lands and for him to send the hidenka back to the Suzaku clan now, in her current damaged state; would essentially dishonor them both. But his only other option was equally undesirable, if not more so.

"Rin wanted me to tell you she hopes your friend gets better," Inuyasha offered, a guilt-ridden expression sliding across his features. "So how is she?"

Sesshomaru considered that. Hidenka Akatsuki was a different type of youkai. She may well possess some, but he did not. Nor would he wish to consort with a female in that manner. "The hidenka is resting now, but I will have to check on her," Sesshomaru informed him, taking a seat on a large, oversized chair. "As for her health, I am uncertain, but she does not appear well," he responded with veiled eyes, attempting to block out his true thoughts. He felt tired or stressed; even he was unsure which he felt more. "I believe she will recover," he said, though completely uncertain of that as well. He could not get beyond the fact that had he done several things differently, perhaps her illness could have been avoided completely. But he realized he had done things as he had always done, with no true thoughts of anyone else's safety or involvement, save his own.

"But she is not a friend, as you say. I do not truly know her," he said rather indifferently. The youkai lord was well aware that had he simply ensured the hidenka had returned to the western lands when he had gone back to retrieve his haramaki, he would not be in this situation. But all he had thought about was that she had brought him here and he believed she was quite capable of finding her way back. But that was the first of his responsibilities to uphold, yet he did not. Why had she not simply returned to her clan? But if she had, without her assistance, the hanyou would be dead. Possibly Rin and Jaken would be dead as well. He had come into battle completely unprepared for such levels of magic.

"You don't know her? But I thought…," Inuyasha's face twisted in confusion. "But you brought her here to the middle of a battle. Why would you do that if you don't…"

"I did not bring her; she brought me to you, yesterday," Sesshomaru looked up to study the hanyou; quite certain he knew what thoughts had entered his mind. "But if she had not remained," he grew unusually somber as he considered the night's possible outcome.

Hidenka Akatsuki had tried to warn him, but he had paid no heed to her advice about Princess Edera's ability to call forth such massive numbers of hell's errtu. She spoke of their deadliness, but he had thought only of his own abilities and knew his strength itself was powerful. What would it have taken for him to better prepare by finding out more about those errtu before he entered into battle? To find out more about the princesses underhanded tactics. Surely, the Suzaku Kokuō would have had information to give. That had always been his primary rule, to know his enemy before he struck. But it was not the errtu who brought down the hanyou. It was Princess Edera herself.

Still, what would it have taken for him to find out more about her ability to utilize such potent dark magic? The hidenka had warned him about that as well. But he had always looked down upon those who utilized magic in battle. Over the past few years, he had completely disregarded the benefits, if any, of the shikon no tama; except for the time he had taken that human arm with a jewel shard embedded in it that enabled him to wield the Tetsusaiga despite the kekkei his chichi-ue had placed on it. He had always believed there was nothing superior to his own strength. Is that why he had disregarded Hidenka Akatsuki's words, as well? Because she too utilized magic and he had never considered magic to be on an equal footing with superior strength and ability?

But he had never thought beyond his own capabilities. Princess Edera had initially come to him and said she required assistance, is that why he had simply ignored her; her request; as well as her abilities? No, he had done that because he knew her true nature. And he was fully aware that a youkai of her nature would not truly require assistance.

_You may well find that those you care for will no longer care for you._

Clearly she meant would no longer be available to care. He now knew the true depths of Princess Edera's reach. It was apparent that she had sent her minions to kill both Rin and the miko. Her goal was not simply the hanyou at all. It was this daiyoukai's power that she sought, and she did everything she could to ensure that she got him here. She knew with the miko's death and possibly even Rin's there would be no way he would not seek revenge. Taking the hanyou was likely only her final way of ensuring that this Sesshomaru showed his presence, in addition to her attempts to obtain the hanyou's sword. But was the hidenka herself in league with that succuvex? She was the one, after all, who knew where to locate this palace. But no, he did not believe that. She had merely involved herself to be of assistance to her lord. There was nothing more to her motives, were there?

But the more he thought of Edera, the less sense she made, if any. What caused her to come over 100 miles out of her territory and into his in search of this daiyoukai's power? To his knowledge, succuvex did not generally attempt such brazen acts. The power they sought was usually that of mid-level youkai at best. But Edera was the mistress of these lands, what else could suit her better than this daiyoukai's power? But still, what could have possessed her to believe she was capable of subduing him? What was her ultimate plan, if any?

"I may likely have to return to the western lands tomorrow to bring back a Suzaku nurse if necessary," Sesshomaru considered those words and hoped he would not have to. Hidenka Akatsuki had been of considerable assistance, and in truth he did not wish her to die. So if he were again required to obtain assistance, he would not hesitate. "I am uncertain how to treat her."

"You mean that licking crap won't work?"

Sesshomaru shot him a sharp glare.

"Sorry," Inuyasha held up his palms. "I was just joking."

"That is a poor joke, Inuyasha," Sesshomaru rubbed the pads of several fingers against his temples. He could not help but consider how much more stressing his life was lately. He knew, though, it was his own acts that had caused it. "She gave some of her own life force to save you."

"Yeah, I know; I shouldn't have said that," the hanyou hung his head regrettably. The joke was clearly a feeble attempt to conceal the tension building inside him. "Why did she do that, anyway?"

"Are you ungrateful?"

"No, it's just that I don't…," Inuyasha paused as he looked to Sesshomaru for answers. His face, though, seemed as confused and regretful as his own must look. "I don't even know her."

"She knew of you."

"What does that mean? How does she know me?"

"Her clan resides in the west. You are chichi-ue's son; she came to know of you when you were bound to that tree."

"Oh," the hanyou hung his head again. His thoughts clearly drifting back to a time of which he had no memories. "It seems like most of my life passed while I was sealed to that tree."

Sesshomaru could see his younger brother had no desire to think of those lost years. But they appeared to be years whose memories assaulted him at every turn.

"Well, fifty years of it anyway," the youkai lord responded wryly. He remained preoccupied with thoughts of why Tenseiga remained silent. "But how are you doing?" he asked still trying to refocus his thoughts. "That was a pretty hefty blow you took from Princess Edera."

"I feel fine, actually. It usually takes me days to heal, especially from a wound that resulted in a hole this size," he said pushing his fingers through the large, gaping hole in the top of his haori. "But it's like nothing happened at all, especially since you said I died. Except for the fact that my haori still has to mend," he concluded absently, continuing to finger the large hole.

"A minor inconvenience."

The room grew silent for a few moments, and Inuyasha began to feel uncomfortable for a number of reasons; his brother's apparent concern for the hidenka's life, his concerns over his own actions from yesterday when Sesshomaru had visited him, even his own unspoken consent to travel with him now. Even if it turned out to only be temporary, he hoped it would be long enough for him to figure out how to repay his debt. His tab was getting heftier every day, and he had no idea what his payment would really entail. But Sesshomaru had said he had considered making him travel with him; well, he could do that couldn't he? But if he stayed, he wasn't sure how to reconcile himself to the fact that his life would change in ways he had never imagined.

"This is some life you live, Sesshomaru," Inuyasha practically leapt from his seat as if remembering something vital, then strolled aimlessly about the living area.

The youkai lord watched him with puzzled eyes.

"Simply kill off the owner of a castle and take it over," he waved his arms to encompass the room. "I should have thought of that myself."

"You are making inappropriate jokes, Inuyasha," Sesshomaru said, training a narrow fixed gaze on him as he moved about the room. "I have noticed that is a tendency you have when you are uncomfortable. What is it that troubles you?"

Tensing, Inuyasha dropped his hands, then plunked himself down on the floor and curled his fist beneath his jaw, unsure how to begin. He had pushed against Sesshomaru for so long, and for so many unknown reasons, he didn't know if they could start again, but he lowered his head and tried to summon the courage. "Sesshomaru, yesterday when you came to my room, I…,"

"I told you, Inuyasha," Sesshomaru interrupted, tilting his head. "I surmised the truth. There is no need to rehash this."

"So you're saying you're willing to just forget about it?" Inuyasha was confused. He didn't apologize often, shit, hardly ever; and now that he wanted to, his brother wasn't letting him; for some reason that bothered him. He assumed it was because something inside him still had the need to fight Sesshomaru. He just couldn't seem to want to let him have the upper hand.

_Willing to forget about it?_ Sesshomaru considered that. In fact there were a number of things he believed he would truly like to forget about. But he needed to consider those words before he responded. It was for the hanyou's sake that he was currently in the position he was in. No, more accurately, it was more because of his own acts to retrieve him that he was here.

But as he studied the hanyou now and considered the events that occurred in his room yesterday, he realized that whatever sadness filled his brother's heart that had caused him to tell such a blatant untruth; had quite likely been placed there by him. He was certain that somewhere within his own heart, there was a disturbance lingering there because of that. As far as Inuyasha's question, he had to admit, if only to himself; he _was_ actually willing to try to forget about it. But he had no idea how deeply seated his brother's mistrust of him truly was.

"I know not what lies were told you, little brother," Sesshomaru projected his typical narrow eyed gaze. "For you to have believed that succuvex so willingly, I can only assume it was because you cannot trust me," he lowered his gaze in reflection. "That…, I regret," he sighed heavily. "I will not hold you back if you wish to leave. I told you before you disappeared; if you stay with me, it must be of your own desire. That has not changed," he looked up before proceeding, "but hear me when I say, I have no evil intent toward you. And despite what I said then, I am willing to try again, if you are."

The hanyou stared at the youkai lord. He did want to trust him, he wanted that so much, but he didn't know how to. So much ill will had passed between them, but Sesshomaru said he regretted. Inuyasha knew he also regretted; but he had no idea what his brother really thought about him. But he wouldn't say that if he didn't mean it, would he? Sesshomaru said he never lied. Shouldn't that be enough? For now, he would accept it, or at least try to. He really did want to stay. Sesshomaru was the only family he had, and now that his friends were gone, there was no one else - no one at all to depend on. Maybe they would never bond as brothers, but they could at least try to be friends, couldn't they? With his brother's words, Inuyasha felt like that was that, they had reached an agreement, so he decided to let it go for now. He would see where this goes, if it went anywhere at all.

"I spoke to Rin," Inuyasha finally said after a long while, simply because he wanted to try to move on. Sesshomaru had given him an exit, and he would try to take it.

"I am pleased you had that opportunity," Sesshomaru said thinking back on how the young girl had pleaded to come with him to retrieve Inuyasha. He had not intended to bring either her, Jaken or Ah-Un; he had simply returned to his camp to retrieve his haramaki. But as usual, he had been unable to deny her request. Believing the hidenka would have departed, he had brought Jaken and Ah-Un to protect her and keep her out of the line of battle while he waged war. But he had to acknowledge that because he had done that, he had utilized the life sorceress's power to protect them all.

To his surprise, she had not left. He supposed now, it was because she had sensed his acts would somehow result in his brother's death and he would be unable to revive him. She must have known she would have to be the one to do that. But had she also planned to give so much of her own life force to accomplish that? Why? "Rin said she wanted to talk to you in private. But that is not a conversation I need to know."

Inuyasha actually had no intention of divulging how Rin had shamed him when she'd nearly come to tears asking him why he'd left them. That she wanted to know if he'd left because he hated her and didn't want to train her the way he'd promised. That she'd said Sesshomaru had searched for him for six days and that she had been afraid that he'd gotten himself killed. He was most ashamed, though, when she told him Sesshomaru was so angry when he'd come back to get his haramaki, and had said 'that foolish hanyou was trying to get himself killed, but he would not allow it.' That she'd wanted him and Sesshomaru to be friends, and that she was certain Sesshomaru wanted it too.

"But you didn't tell her about Ka…."

"I did not," Sesshomaru interrupted, realizing where the hanyou's thoughts likely centered. He knew he would have to tell Rin eventually, but it was not his pleasure to present her with bad news. "Did you?"

"No, I didn't. I figured that should be left to you," Inuyasha said, studying the reluctance in his brother's eyes; realizing that was probably something he would put off for as long as possible. But he knew it was probably because, despite how young she was, that kid had already suffered so much. "Are you going to keep her now?"

"I am uncertain that would be wise," Sesshomaru said, once more, reluctantly reflecting on thoughts of how his life was now destined to change. "I left her in that human village because I could not keep her safe. To keep her now, I could well risk her life again. I could not even keep you..."

"What?" Inuyasha balked as he quickly interrupted, snapping his head up to glare at his brother. His eyes wide with the thought that Sesshomaru would think he needed protection. "I'm not your responsibility. That kid is one thing, but I can take care of myself, no matter what you think."

"I never said I did not believe you capable. It is just that I…" Sesshomaru paused, realizing Inuyasha's pride in some regards, was nearly as intense as his own. But the hanyou had no idea how grave his elder brother's regrets at his failings to keep him safe truly were.

"What? Just that you what?" Inuyasha demanded, knowing that his anger was not so much directed at Sesshomaru, but at his own foolishness for not keeping his eyes on that youkai princess. "What happened to me was my own fault. I left myself open and turned too late to deflect that youkai's attack."

Sesshomaru did not respond. He was in no mood to battle over this point at the moment. The thoughts that pounded his head were much too consuming.

"Sesshomaru," Inuyasha began hesitantly; but he knew he had to know. "Why did you come back?"

"Because I believed I knew more about that succuvex, than I thought you, yourself, might be aware of," Sesshomaru said, as he reflected on the fact that he apparently did not know enough. "And it was not my desire to have you die at Princess Edera's hands."

Inuyasha remembered his brother's words to him before he'd left his room.

_My concern for you has faded. If your life means so little to you, it means even less to me._

"So then… you… lied?" he asked without attempting to meet his brother's eyes. Despite what he'd just said, he knew if he'd escaped with those hanyou and they'd been tracked down, there was no way he would have handled half the errtu Princess Edera had unleashed with his Tetsusaiga alone.

The youkai lord turned his head to focus on him. "No, I did not," he said adamantly. "I never lie. I simply… reconsidered."

Inuyasha smiled to himself. Was there any point in stating that he was grateful his brother had reconsidered in his favor? If not for Sesshomaru and the youkai hidenka he'd had with him, he and those two wolf hanyou would probably be lying dead right now and there would have been no one who cared enough to even think about bringing them back. "Are you still going to start your travels soon; to begin your patrols?"

Sesshomaru remained silent for quite some time as he reflected on that. His thoughts had been consumed with the path he would now have to travel ever since he'd brought the hidenka into the castle. So much had changed so quickly in his life. He had killed the mistress of the southern lands. He knew he needed to institute order here in the south; that was his obligation. But more importantly, he had allowed Hidenka Akatsuki to lead him to this castle. As a result of that and his attack on Princess Edera, she had been gravely injured during her attempt to save his brother's life. But the troubling thing was that for some unknown reason, he could not restore her to health with his Tenseiga. What was it about his sword that he did not know?

"I am uncertain I will be able to do that," he responded finally, with a great deal of reluctance. "The southern lands are now without a ruler."

"So, what should you care? At least everyone is free from Princess Edera, they should be grateful for that."

"Yes, but I am the lord of the western lands," Sesshomaru began as he rose and moved slowly from his seat. "It was I who took her life. So it must be I who restores order here."

"Well, how long should that take? Just go to the clan leaders and appoint someone to take over."

"It is not that simple, Inuyasha," the youkai lord stated as he reflected on the fact that appointing a ruler was the smallest of his problems. "Besides, it has always been my desire to have the largest empire possible. It is now within my grasp."

"So you mean you wanna stay here and rule?"

"Among other things."

"Other things?"

"As of late," he began as he proceeded toward the window. "I have been reconsidering my life's objectives."

"Reconsidering? To what? Does that mean you're not going to travel at all?"

"Perhaps for a while more, yes, and of course it is something I will have to do over time," Sesshomaru said thoughtfully, as he peered through the opened window, considering his next words carefully. Despite the fact that these thoughts had literally flooded the back of his mind for the past couple of hours, this would be the first time he would actually utter them.

"But I am considering having my own castle built between the western and southern lands," he paused as he stared out into the darkness.

He continued to puzzle over where his life would be headed now. The youkai lord knew little of the hidenka, but what little he did know, was more than he knew of the entire Suzaku clan that resided in his lands. She had already lost her younger sister. He had no idea if she had another and if she were to die as an aftermath of a battle he had waged, he would have absolutely no way out. Her death could possibly leave her parents without the potential for an heir. His acts, in utilizing her abilities in a battle that did not involve her, would be unforgivable. Such a thing would leave him obligated to become the protector of the entire Suzaku clan; an obligation he had absolutely no desire to fulfill.

But if she lived, not because he, himself had saved her, but because he was forced to retrieve assistance, he would be obligated to become her protector; another undesired prospect. But he would never back out of an obligation. To do that would be beneath him; and he would never do that which was beneath a youkai of his status. His pride would never allow it. The hidenka's assistance was a debt he was obligated to repay. Sesshomaru then added, "And then perhaps… settling down."

Inuyasha studied the back of his brother's head for a moment as the corners of his mouth pulled tight, his brows furrowing as he considered Sesshomaru's words, trying to analyze their meaning. Settling down…? Settling down, that didn't sound like just planning to live in a castle. Settling down sounded more like he wanted to…. wanted to…, "With Hidenka Akatsuki?" Inuyasha gushed in disbelief. He was nearly floored. "I thought you said you didn't really _know her._"

The youkai lord continued to peer steadily through the open window. The hanyou knew little to nothing of youkai custom. When he had resolved to instruct him on such issues, this had not been his primary focus in the matter. But it was not simply a case of how well he knew her. It was a matter of his obligation, but the hanyou probably also knew nothing of youkai obligations. That was just one of the many things he had wanted to instruct him on. "Have you ever heard anything about youkai obligation, Inuyasha?"

"Yeah, well, you mention something before and I had heard a little bit. Why? Are you saying you want payment now? But I'd already decided to stay," he said with puzzlement, then reflected. "Unless you're saying you have some other kind of payment in mind."

"No," Sesshomaru lowered and shook his head slightly. "It is the hidenka; I am obligated to her," he said with no inflection in his voice, as if he had simply resigned himself to some predestined finality. He had never owed anyone a single thing in his life, and he would not begin now.

"Obligated to do what? For what purpose?"

Lifting his head again, Sesshomaru stared out across the rear of the castle grounds. "You and your friends have always fought together, Inuyasha. I have always fought alone," Sesshomaru said as he folded his arms across his chest. "When you came to me and demanded the truth, you asked me why I had allowed chichi-ue to battle alone. Do you recall what I said then?" he asked as he turned his head to look at the hanyou across his shoulder.

_You know nothing of youkai dominance. You know nothing of how youkai pride themselves in resolving their own issues._

The youkai lord could see signs of recollection etch its way across the hanyou's face. "Youkai do not generally seek assistance in a personal battle, nor do they allow a debt to go unpaid. I utilized your ability in a battle I waged, and because of that you died."

"But I'm not dead now, in case you hadn't noticed."

"No, you are not," Sesshomaru turned back toward the window. "But that was not because of my doing. When Hidenka Akatsuki healed your wounds, I was uncertain of why, but I hoped. And because I hoped, I did not stop her. Because I did not stop her, she is now…." Sesshomaru paused as he fully considered the fact that his life may no longer be his alone to command. "I am therefore, obligated to… become her protector, or perhaps the protector of her clan," he said, incapable of withholding the reluctance in his voice.

Inuyasha continued staring at the back of Sesshomaru's head as he tried to figure out what he was talking about. "Because… because of me?" His eyes widened as the reality dawned on him and he leapt to his feet. "You're freaking kidding, aren't you?"

The youkai lord did not respond.

"Is that how things are done in your world, Sesshomaru?" the hanyou asked, his expression creased in a frown. "Someone does you a favor and you have to what… protect them? For how long?"

"She did not simply do me a favor, Inuyasha; and of that, you should be well aware," Sesshomaru continued staring into the darkness; trying to empty his mind of the darkness that strained to fill it.

"No, she didn't," the hanyou rushed up behind his brother. "She didn't do a damned thing for you. It was me she did it for, so I should be the one obligated to repay her," he stalked up behind Sesshomaru, putting his hand on his shoulder and attempted to spin him around to face him, a move he would not have dared before. The youkai lord, though, could not be moved in such a menial fashion, but he did turn to face his brother.

"In truth, from the moment she brought me here, everything she did was for me," Sesshomaru said rather placidly. "Do not forget, I am the lord of the western lands; her lord. And are you saying you would prefer to be the one to become the protector of, and possibly even the future mate of a youkai you do not love?"

"The… mate?" Inuyasha repeated as he stumbled across those words; his eyes widening at the new revelation. "Ahhh, well no, but…," he paused as he tried to consider the options. "Isn't there something else that can be done?"

"Something else, such as what?" Sesshomaru demanded, glaring at his younger brother for asking a question to which he felt he had no valid response. But in truth it was because he had already attempted to find another option. "I am a warrior. What can I offer her that would be of equal value to her protecting Rin, Jaken and Ah-Un and restoring you to life?"

Inuyasha could sense his brother's anger rising as he, himself, thought about that. He didn't have the power to do anything. He couldn't restore anyone to life. All he had was a sword. Like Sesshomaru, all he could offer was protection, but Sesshomaru was the lord of the western lands. There had to be something else _he_ could do. "What about your Tenseiga? Why don't you use that to restore her to health? Wouldn't that be payment enough?"

"It would be if Tenseiga would work, but…"

"You mean again? The sword won't work again"

Sesshomaru lowered his head as he considered his sword, the only item bequeathed to him from his chichi-ue. "Tenseiga is an unpredictable sword. Just when I think I know how it works, it proves me wrong. Despite its name, I now truly believe it is only capable of restoring life in some instances; it has not, and it cannot heal."

"So then if she dies then you can…."

"No," Sesshomaru nearly shouted as he snapped his head up to face the hanyou. "That is not an honorable way to resolve this. I consider myself an honorable youkai and would do nothing beneath me," he said as he turned back to stare through the window again. He had gone through a number of scenarios since he'd put the hidenka to bed, but there was nothing he could foresee that would be adequate. "But remember, you had died during that battle, but Tenseiga did not restore your life then, either."

"So then, what's wrong with the damned thing?" Inuyasha wanted to know; incapable of restraining his own guilt from flooding his voice. "What kind of sword is it, that can't do its job?"

"I do not believe it is the sword," Sesshomaru began rather reluctantly. "In some ways, I believe it is me. I do not believe my heart has evolved to a level where I can command it at will."

"I don't believe that! You came back for me, didn't you?" Inuyasha protested sensing his brother's growing frustration. He knew that not long ago, he wouldn't have cared what he felt like, but now, he did. "I don't think you would have done that if you didn't care. And I don't believe you wish the hidenka's death. Shit, even if she hadn't saved me, she protected Rin, Jaken and that crazy two headed dragon of yours. So I know you wouldn't want the hidenka to die, and if you don't, then the sword should work, shouldn't it?"

Sesshomaru looked down to study the Tenseiga at his hip once more. The sword he carried, despite his limited knowledge of its true abilities. The sword bequeathed to him by his chichi-ue. "I do not know," he said finally. "When chichi-ue lived, I had no interest in a sword that could not cut. And thus now, I can only…"

"Sesshomaru," Inuyasha interrupted as he began to pace back and forth across the floor, as if doing that would somehow inspire him with some previously unthought-of solution. As much as he hated thinking, he felt for his own sanity it was up to him to find a different approach for his brother. He wouldn't be in this mess if not for him, anyway. "Do all youkai follow these obligations you spoke about?"

"All honorable high level youkai do. Why do you ask?"

"Because I was wondering if the Hidenka saved my life because…"

"I am certain she did not. She is a hidenka. Unlike Edera, I believe she is an honorable one. She would not risk her life simply to obtain a protector," but in all honesty, if she had; the youkai lord knew it would not matter. From the moment he accepted that amulet from her and called her name, he had already been indebted to her. The problem he faced now, though, was that he had not ceased to utilize her abilities, and thus, he was now completely obligated to protect her. "If you recall during that battle, she had sufficient fire power of her own, and I am certain, would not feel the need to be so reckless."

"Then, I don't understand. Why would she do it?"

"That, I do not know. But I know so little about the Suzaku clan. I can only obtain an answer when she awakens."

"So what are you going to do?" Inuyasha came to a stop and eyed his brother anxiously. "You just going to follow this rule you spoke about without even putting up a fight?"

Sesshomaru did not respond. As far as he was concerned, there was nothing to fight. This was youkai custom.

"Look Sesshomaru," Inuyasha began, trying to find some rationale for what he was hearing. "As far as Hidenka Akatsuki, I'm not going to say she's not beautiful, because she is; but I just don't understand why you have to do this," he said, filled with confusion. "If you told me you wanted to become her protector because she's so beautiful, well then I wouldn't argue with you. But since you didn't, it seems to me that you should at least be in love before you commit to someone for the rest of your life."

Sesshomaru studied him closely. Would he ever understand, he wondered. "It is not a matter of what I want, Inuyasha. Besides, other than for hanyou such as yourself, love is generally a human desire," he said, then turned back to face the night sky, his expression containing nothing more than simple acceptance. "It is not required for youkai."

"Are you saying our oyaji didn't love my mother?"

"I said no such thing. Of that, I know nothing," Sesshomaru responded, closing his eyes momentarily, as he fought the urge to sigh, something he seemed to do quite frequently around the hanyou. He had no idea what his chichi-ue had felt for that human woman, but he realized now that in some ways, he too, must have felt he had an obligation. "Stop putting words into my mouth," he refocused his attention on the darkened night sky. "All I said was that two youkai do not require love to form a match. There are a number of circumstances under which such a union can be formed."

"If you don't love her, I'm not going to allow you to repay my debt," Inuyasha stated adamantly.

"Do not be childish, you have no say in the matter," Sesshomaru turned an angry glare across his shoulder toward him again. "I told you once before, you do not guide my actions, Inuyasha. Hidenka Akatsuki is my responsibility."

"You see, that's one of the shits I don't like about you," Inuyasha practically growled with annoyance. "I am not being childish. I'm just trying to figure out what's going on here."

"Emotional then, there is no need to be so. It is not for your sake alone," Sesshomaru responded warily. "She protected Rin, Jaken and Ah-Un with her barrier. Had she not…"

"Oh well, in that case I don't blame you," Inuyasha turned and began stumping away. "Run off and get your ass hitched, by all means," he waved his hand dismissively.

Not wanting their first night back together to end on a sour note, Sesshomaru moved quickly, caught him by the arm, halting his retreat. "Why does this bother you so?" His voice was a bit tense, but he fought to restrain himself.

"Because you don't love her," Inuyasha grumbled, his jaw tightening as he spoke. He wondered why it was always so difficult for him to simply talk to this youkai. "We're supposed to be trying to relate to each other now, aren't we? And I don't want you getting locked into some shitty commitment because of me. It would be too much of a constant reminder."

Sesshomaru blinked; his expression contemplative. Was the hanyou actually concerned about him? "I do not have a human heart, Inuyasha," he attempted to explain his rationale. "I will probably never love anyone as you would, but I hope you know by now that does not mean I cannot care for them."

"So then you care for her?" Inuyasha sounded hopeful; believing that would at least remove some of his own guilt. He did not want his brother to hate him for causing him to commit to someone he did not care about.

Shesshomaru paused for a moment; the hanyou could not be dismissed as easily as Jaken, "I am concerned for her well-being, and Hidenka Akatsuki would not be an unsuitable match."

"That doesn't answer my question," Inuyasha protested, doing his best to temper his own emotions. There was no question he believed his brother was willingly committing himself for his sake and that was more than he could bear. Not now, not when they were trying to … "You're only concerned about her well-being because she's lying in that room almost dead because of what she did to save me. Hell, I'm concerned for her well-being too."

The youkai lord inhaled heavily. This hanyou was even more provocative than Jaken. "I will not discuss this further, Inuyasha," Sesshomaru said, his eyes flickering with intensity as he resisted the urge to emit a heavy sigh, realizing the conversation was going nowhere. "This is between Hidenka Akatsuki and I."

"You see, that's another shit you do. The hanyou's just too damned foolish to talk to, so let's just shut him up."

Sesshomaru peered down into his brother's eyes. "I am not trying to shut you up. If you simply wish to disagree with me, that is fine; you have that freedom. But I do not understand why you feel you must persist in fighting me at every turn." As much as he believed he may now want his brother to remain in his life, this was the one area he was uncertain they would ever be able to overcome. Inuyasha's desire to constantly fight with him might be insurmountable. "You are making this a bigger issue than it needs to be. I am a youkai. Hidenka Akatsuki is a youkai. Often youkai form matches because of circumstances. This is one of those circumstances. It is as simple as that."

The youkai lord watched as the hanyou paraded toward the sofa and plopped down. It was clear, that he was not the least bit satisfied with what he was hearing, and Sesshomaru wondered if he ever would be.

**+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#**

**A/N: Well, here's my latest update. Of course, I'm sure there was no secret to what I was leading to in the earlier chapters with the youkai obligations, but don't jump to conclusions too quickly, whether the hidenka dies or not, there is a side to the hidenka and her clan that we have not yet seen, and this will probably not go as smoothly as we think. Besides, we don't even know if she'll recover. But if she dies, will Tenseiga then be able to revive her? I certainly hope so.  
**  
**Akatsuki - (Aurora/dawn)  
chichi-ue - (father)  
haramaki - (armor)  
kekkei - (magic spell)  
Kokuō - (king)**

**hidenka - (princess)  
oyaji - (old man)**


	25. Chapter 25 Indebted to Her

**Sesshomaru & Inuyasha: Kyoudai in Kōtetsu  
Sesshomaru & Inuyasha: Brothers in Arms**

**Daiisshō 25 - Gimudukeru Kanojo**  
**Chapter 25-Indebted to Her**

Sesshomaru wondered about the pointlessness of continuing this conversation. The hanyou, he knew, harbored his own guilt. But he knew not what to say to eliminate it or to help him understand that it was merely customary among youkai. Had their chichi-ue not mated with his haha-ue to become lord of the western lands? Had he not likely mated with the hanyou's okaa-san for some other strategic advantage, though he knew not what that might be. Youkai often selected mates that benefited them. It is true he had avoided placing himself in such situations, and he had not specifically selected the hidenka; but now that he was here, if his life must now include her, he would accept it, even if unwillingly.

"Since this is not a prospect that I truly desire, Inuyasha; do you not believe I have exhausted all other possibilities," he asked, refraining from making the comment he would have easily made in the past. That he would not be in this situation if the hanyou had not been so stubborn and pig headed and had rushed out to protect a youkai who sought only to destroy him. But he knew that was not the entirety of the situation.

"There is no point in fighting me on this unless you can tell me how to become her protector without fully committing myself," Sesshomaru said, taking a seat in the large, oversized chair once more. "I cannot allow her to return to the Suzaku compound any more than I can lock her in a room. Since I have no desire to reside in her compound; she would be out of my sight and anything could happen in such an instance," the youkai lord said, realizing there was an anger building inside him and he was uncertain why. Could it be that simply explaining his situation to the hanyou made his fate seem far more of a reality? "She is an adult female, and cannot simply follow me around. So how do you propose I proceed?"

Inuyasha reflected on his brother's words. He _was_always fighting with him. A short while ago he acknowledged he wanted to try again. This wasn't the way to start. Would this be a continuous issue between them? If he did not want it to be, he had to make the effort to stop it now.

"Sesshomaru, I know you're angry at me. I don't blame you. This is my fault. If I had…"

"I am not," Sesshomaru quickly interrupted. At the moment, he believed his hidden anger was more directed at himself, or perhaps the hidenka for foolishly giving her life force. "And this is not your responsibility to bear. I am the lord of the western lands, every event that occurred since Princess Edera's arrival near my camp, is my responsibility. The events of that battle were all directed by my hand."

Inuyasha knew Sesshomaru said that only to ease his guilt. But he couldn't just sit back and let him do that. He knew he had no idea what else he could tell him; except perhaps one thing.

"Sesshomaru," Inuyasha began slowly. He believed he knew what his brother probably felt; just the thought of his own planned proposal left him feeling uncomfortable. He had vaguely heard of youkai obligation in the past, but he'd had no idea how far they could go. "I'll let it go, if you answer a couple of questions for me."

Uncertain where the hanyou's thoughts would now lead, the youkai lord tensed as he studied him intently. But it was not his objective to leave him without guidance any longer. "What are they?"

"Hidenka Akatsuki saved my life, and now she's lying in that room almost dying; maybe she is, I don't know," Inuyasha shook his head somberly, his guilt weighing heavily, as he directed his gaze to the floor. "Why is it your responsibility to be her protector, when I'm the one whose life she saved and she's almost dead because of that? Is it because I'm a hanyou and she's a youkai, or because I'm nothing and she's a hidenka and you're a lord?"

Sesshomaru studied him closely. Is that why the hanyou had not behaved as the son of a daiyoukai should; because he held such little value in his own worth? "Let me say, I will answer your questions if you consider this," the youkai lord waited for the young hanyou to meet his gaze. "Which of the two of us came here with the hidenka while she was in excellent health but did not ensure her safe return to the western lands?" Sesshomaru responded once he'd gotten his attention. "And tell me which of us placed her in a situation that caused her to endanger her life?" he continued studying him as Inuyasha lowered his head in contemplation but said nothing.

The youkai lord was certain the hanyou should now know which of them held the greater responsibility. "As for your question, in truth you are my brother, chichi-ue's second heir," Sesshomaru began as he focused his thoughts. "That means you are currently third in line to rule the western lands. But there are many contingencies you would have to overcome," he said as he shifted in his chair, then rose and stood directly in front of the hanyou. "I would have to die without a mate and before producing an heir," he said as he continued to look down at the hanyou who refused to look up at him. "Of course, there are a host of other contingencies as relates to my haha-ue, since you are chichi-ue's heir, not hers."

Finally, Sesshomaru turned and moved toward the window to look out onto his only safe haven once more. He knew his haha-ue would likely do anything in her power to prevent the hanyou from taking control of the western lands. Unlike her son, she would never accept him. He wondered if any of that mattered now, anyway. The path his life was now destined to travel, he would probably be forced to take control in time, even if he did not confront her regarding his chichi-ue's death. But he could do nothing, until the hidenka recovered. When had his life gotten so complicated? Why had he allowed the hidenka to make it so?

"As for you being a hanyou, I believe any youkai; hidenka or not, would be proud to have you as their protector," Sesshomaru said as he turned toward him again. "Although station does at times affect potential outcomes," he said rather slowly and thoughtfully. "But in this case, the true reason Hidenka Akatsuki is my responsibility, is because I am the current lord of the western lands, she is a hidenka under my rule, and I allowed her to accompany me outside those lands," and that, he did not understand, since he had never valued the abilities of sorceresses. "I allowed her to protect those under my care, while I waged battle and she was damaged in so doing. If I could restore her to health, then my obligation would essentially be fulfilled, except perhaps for some minor irritants," he paused as he looked down at the sword at his hip feeling as if he had done that for the hundredth time, but the sword remained silent as before.

"But since Tenseiga does not wish to oblige; I believe I will have to retrieve one of her own clan members to help her recover. And thus," he paused slightly before continuing; "it will be my obligation to become her future protector, since I did not protect her now."

"Sesshomaru, you said it yourself," Inuyasha began as he lifted his head, studying his older brother uncertainly. "The hidenka has a lot of fire power. Why does a youkai with that much fire power need a protector?"

"It is not simply a matter of what she needs, Inuyasha;" Sesshomaru responded, directing a glance across his shoulder. "It is what she is entitled to for the service she provided."

"Well, you're the lord of the western lands, aren't you?" Inuyasha began hesitantly; as he watched his brother focus his attention through the window for what seemed the fiftieth time. Sesshomaru said he never lied; it wasn't that he thought he was lying now, but he knew instinctively that he wasn't as settled about his potential future as he wanted him to think. He did not exactly pace, but his inability to sit still for 10 consecutive minutes, spoke of the irritation that was steadily building within him. Inuyasha believed he knew him well enough to know he would accept whatever he felt was his obligation; no matter what it was. He was too proud not to. "Why don't you just change the rules? Or maybe your mother can."

"And do you believe that would be honorable, for either of us?"

Inuyasha continued trying to think of some scheme to help his brother get out of a situation that he was positive he had put him in. Why hadn't he simply gone with him when he'd come yesterday? Why had he wanted him to prove that he cared? "Well, what if she dies, then what happens?"

"First, let me say I hope she does not. That is also no honorable way out for any youkai of status," the youkai lord responded, knowing full well that there was a strong possibility that she may well do that. Until, and unless she could be saved, his future remained an uncertainty. "But if she did, then I would be obligated to become her sister's protector if she has one. But since Hidenka Akatsuki has already told me that her sister died some time ago, I would be obligated to either protect the next female youkai of status in her clan, or her clan itself."

"So this just goes on and on? You're stuck, no matter what?"

"I do not look at it as being 'stuck' as you say. I look at it as an obligation between honorable youkai," Sesshomaru said, knowing full well that he was making every attempt to convince himself that it was no more than that; just an obligation. There was no need for him to be overly concerned about possibly having to commit to the hidenka. If he looked at his situation honestly, it was not all negative prospects for him. "A simple service obligation can be set for some agreed period of time, but even that is usually quite lengthy; hundreds of years in fact."

"Hundreds of years," Inuyasha repeated dumbstruck. But he should have realized that; unless they were killed or died unnaturally in some way, youkai normally lived for thousands of years; just look at Princess Edera.

"That is why youkai are accustomed to fighting their own personal battles and do not generally seek assistance," Sesshomaru said rather stoically; all the while wondering what was it about the hanyou, that had caused him to change his approach so drastically. Was it simply because of a promise? But he knew once he had made it, he would never have betrayed his own honor. "You may be unaware of this, but that is how Jaken came into my service," the youkai lord's features clouded over as his thoughts drifted back through the years. "At the time, it was not my intent to save his life; I sought only to clear the path of a disgusting insect. Being an honorable youkai, Jaken actually pleaded with me to take him into my service; despite the fact that he, himself, was in command of hundreds. Although I spend more time saving his life now, than anything," Sesshomaru said as he considered whether taking the little youkai on, had turned out to be more of a negative prospect than anything.

"So you mean if Hidenka Akatsuki was a male youkai and the same thing happened, then even you, the lord of the western lands would be obligated to provide service to him?"

"That is the youkai way."

"Is that why you never wanted my help?"

"Since we are kin, such obligations are generally not an issue," Sesshomaru said thoughtfully as he recalled his earlier intended objectives. "But they do often come into play. If chichi-ue had asked, I may well have assisted, considering his injury; but of that I am uncertain," he confessed, then decided to offer his reasons for his recent change of heart. "When I told you I considered compelling you to travel with me, it is because some time after that battle with Sou'unga, I finally understood why chichi-ue left you the Tetsusaiga. I had previously learned of its importance in tempering your youkai blood but of course, chichi-ue wanted us to unite, although I sincerely believe he picked the worst path to that route. But still, I made an oath that I would try. I believed if we could not be friends in general passing, perhaps we could be friends through forced association. As for your help, I never wanted your help because I never believed I required anyone's assistance," the youkai lord did not admit that he had never previously thought the hanyou could be of any assistance to this Sesshomaru." I have always believed I had sufficient power to stand on my own as a daiyoukai."

Inuyasha lowered his head thoughtfully for a few minutes. "Well, if you do this and three years from now, you wake up and you're miserable, are you gonna blame me?" he wanted to know.

"So this is about you, is it?" Sesshomaru's eyes glazed with realization as he turned to study the hanyou.

"No, it's about you and what you're planning to do," Inuyasha insisted stubbornly. "I just want to know if you're really all right with this, or if you're gonna just dump on the stupid hanyou if you wake up miserable one day."

"No, I will not blame you," Sesshomaru said with assurance, then added, "I define my life as I so choose; despite any unwanted obligations. But," he paused with a slight glint in his eyes, as he continued studying the hanyou, a reality sinking into his head. "If I do this, and three years from now I wake up and find I am what you would call 'very happy', I will not thank you either."

Inuyasha's own eyes glinted as he grunted a soft grin, "Deal." He decided not to push any further. He'd done enough to test his brother's patience. He didn't know anything about youkai business and it was probably best if he didn't challenge what he didn't understand.

After continuing their conversation for a short while more, Inuyasha finally retired for the night, but Sesshomaru returned to sit with Hidenka Akatsuki, he wanted to monitor her health to ensure her recovery. Upon entering her bedroom, however, he was immediately concerned that her breathing was still so very faint. In fact, he could not convince himself that it had not become even fainter than it had been the last time he had listened.

Standing beside her bed, he leaned forward and inhaled her scent as he simultaneously placed his palm flat against the vein in her throat. His eyes widened, as he realized he had scented what his ears had also detected. The coolness of her flesh concealed nothing. She was not getting stronger at all, in fact, she was slowly dying. Silently, the youkai lord cursed himself for not knowing what was wrong with her or how to help. He even cursed her for putting herself in such a predicament. He cursed Tenseiga for its silence, and he stopped just short of cursing his chichi-ue for bequeathing him a sword with so much potential, but so many limitations. But he did not understand this. Was this a result of her compassion, or a result of her simple foolishness? Either way, he could do without it. But the youkai lord had a sense that it had nothing to do with either. If anything, this was likely a sign of her obligation to her lord. As his thoughts ran the gamut, the youkai lord quickly evaluated what retrieving assistance for her deteriorating condition would truly mean to his life.

If he had simply grabbed the hanyou by the neck when he had initially arrived and pulled him through that barrier, this could have all been avoided. He could have withstood the hanyou's anger had he done that, but because he had refused to acknowledge that the hanyou had not requested his assistance, and had essentially lied to him; he had initiated a battle that resulted in his brother's death. If his concern for the tortured look in the hanyou's eyes had not tormented him so; Hidenka Akatsuki would not even have been here; because he would never have utilized her amulet. If his own compassion for the hanyou had not grown to such sadness over his death, she probably would not have risked her own life. Despite the fact that that was foolishness in itself, her current condition was his fault, all because his pride had not wanted him to fail; because he had never failed. And he would not fail now; because he would not allow the Suzaku hidenka to die.

Not willing to wait longer and risk her life further, Sesshomaru moved quickly to prepare for the journey and with all deliberate speed, engulfed himself in his kyuu shou sphere and headed straight for the Suzaku compound.

Upon his arrival, he found the castle residents in an uproar. He could scent an immediate discomfort at his presence. Despite the unexpected visit from their lord, he knew most of the agitation surrounding him had erupted long before his arrival.

Apparently Hidenka Akatsuki's mother, Kisaki Masumi, also a life sorceress, had sensed the impending death of her last daughter. But because of the hidenka's unconscious state, she had been unable to determine her precise location; or the reasons affecting her condition. After experiencing the utter distress of the Suzaku Kisaki and the steady, penetrating gaze of her father, the Kokuō, the youkai lord quickly explained the situation. Sesshomaru had no trouble sensing the grave dislike the Kokuō directed toward the youkai who had caused his daughter to suffer such grave injuries. But he could not concern himself with that now; the hidenka's life was his primary concern.

As distressed as their Kisaki clearly was, and equally concerned with the health of their hidenka, two handmaidens quickly bustled about their castle to retrieve what they felt were critical items before rushing to the youkai lord's side.

As he waited, Sesshomaru assessed all the youkai who would likely now impact his life in a manner he would never previously have thought. Unlike Hidenka Akatsuki, the handmaidens were small, dark-haired Suzaku clan members with fair skin. Not knowing much about the Suzaku clan because of their reclusive nature, not to mention his own previous disinterest in anything he had deemed unimportant, he believed that like his own clan, there were not many white-haired Suzaku members remaining. He considered that to be a result of their failed attempt to take Princess Edera's life after she had killed the hidenka's younger sister. He seemed to recall hearing that their hair coloring along with their royal status had something to do with the level of power they possessed.

Despite his scent of clearly being a Suzaku, himself; the Kokuō with his darker appearance did not appear to be native to these lands. It was clear that the hidenka got her darker coloring from him, while she obtained her beauty from the Kisaki. But neither the Kokuō's advanced age, nor his height, though a few inches shorter than the youkai lord's, did anything to conceal the fact that he contained significant power that he was, at this very moment, restraining himself from unleashing upon the youkai that stood before him; his lord or not.

Upon exiting the castle, the youkai lord quickly discovered that the handmaidens did not possess the ability to fly as they indicated they would have to retrieve the hidenka's winged horse. Unwilling to waste further time, Sesshomaru wrapped his arms around them, swiftly engulfing them all in his kyuu shou, and returned to the southern castle as rapidly as he had departed.

After leading them to the hidenka's bedroom, Sesshomaru informed them he would retire to the living area to await the diagnosis. Silently, he hoped he had not been too late.

Four hours later, the handmaidens located him to inform him that had he waited any longer, the hidenka may well have died. They did believe, however, that with the assistance they had provided that she would now recover; but they would have to wait and see since her condition was so grave.

Ashira, the head handmaiden displayed some small degree of hesitation before she pointed out that there were still several problems that might yet prevent the hidenka's recovery. She explained that despite the fact that they had managed to supplement the hidenka's life force, she was still too weak to move, but she reluctantly added that her mistress would never recover in this castle with its current situation.

Apparently, the magic surrounding it still endangered what little life she still clung to. If the hidenka was stronger, they would be able to shut down her sensor abilities, but because they would not be able to do that for several days after her strength returned, they needed to enchant the castle for her protection. But the additional problem was that the ningyou youkai standing guard around the castle walls were enchanted in such a manner that they were draining the hidenka's strength despite their efforts and had to be destroyed.

Regretting that he knew so little about her and had likely endangered her even more by bringing the hidenka inside, Sesshomaru wasted no time doing exactly that. Having smashed every ningyou he saw to smithereens, the youkai lord quickly informed the handmaidens that they could now utter whatever incantations that were necessary.

Later, with the handmaidens retiring to a couple of nearby bedrooms to recuperate themselves, Sesshomaru returned to, and remained by Hidenka Akatsuki's side. He noticed immediately, that her breathing was far more rhythmic than it had been on any of the previous occasions, and he was grateful for that, although her handmaidens had told him she would likely sleep for the next ten to twelve days as her body's life force continued to regenerate.

When Inuyasha had awakened the next morning, he realized that for the first time since he'd been in the castle, he had the opportunity to enjoy food that didn't have the disgusting taste of what was served under Princess Edera's rule. Instead, in the daidokoro he had found bags of rice and had gone to a nearby stream with Rin and caught some fish.

Upon his return, though surprised to discover that others were now in the castle; the hanyou was grateful when one of Hidenka Akatsuki's handmaidens appeared to offer a hand with the cooking. Knowing little about cooking himself, he wasn't sure if he should simply leave it up to Rin, but didn't think he had any other choice.

Bathera, the apparent junior handmaiden, as she'd introduced herself; mentioned that Ashira, the head handmaiden was currently tending to the hidenka and they would likely meet her later. After explaining that she loved to cook, but got little to no opportunity to do that at the Suzaku compound; with the assistance of Rin, Jaken and even Inuyasha, Bathera prepared a delightful breakfast of steamed rice, grilled fish, miso soup, and various other little side dishes. Inuyasha couldn't help but think; maybe it wouldn't be such a bad thing having the hidenka in their lives after all. He hadn't eaten like that since Kagome was around.

Later that evening, as the youkai lord sat by the hidenka's bedside, he knew not where to direct his anger more. At Inuyasha for being such a foolish hanyou, who would rush into situations with no plans of escape; at his chichi-ue for having such a foolish hanyou son; at himself for allowing himself to be placed in such a predicament; or at the youkai hidenka for having come to him for the sake of a hanyou whom he should have left to his own devices. But especially at the hidenka for being so foolish as to give her life force for a hanyou whom she did not know.

Was the world now filled with foolish youkai who cared not for their own survival? Had it started with his own chichi-ue? Had he freely given his life to protect that human woman and her son? But more importantly, what would these undesirable changes do to his previously structured life? To be surrounded by a hanyou he barely understood, and more importantly, to be the protector of a youkai he knew even less about.

**+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#**

**A/N: Well, it looks like Sesshomaru certainly thought the hidenka's acts to save his brother were foolish, especially since it seems to have endangered her life. He didn't want to have to go get help because that would leave him in a position he didn't want to be in. Now that he had to, does that mean he will become her automatic body guard? He certainly doesn't want to be, but will he accept his fate?**

Akatsuki - (Aurora/Dawn)  
chichi-ue - (father)  
Daidokoro - (kitchen)

Haramaki - (armor)  
hidenka - (princess)  
Kisaki - (queen)  
Kokuō - (king)  
kyuu shou - (flying flight sphere, ball, orb – Sessy's ball energy)  
ningyou youkai - (puppet demons)  
-


	26. Chapter 26 Awakened

**Sesshomaru & Inuyasha: Brothers in Arms  
Sesshomaru & Inuyasha: Kyōdai de Busō**

Shō 26 - Mezameru  
Chapter 26 - Awakened

Despite his concerns over the hidenka's continued struggles for survival, it had turned out to be a busy week for the new lord of the southern lands. Having learned that the hidenka was suffering from a soul to soul connection and the emotions of the others in the castle, as well as the dark magic surrounding it, but that her handmaidens could do nothing until the hidenka grew stronger, Sesshomaru devised a scheme to hinder any likely guilt on the hanyou's part. Early the next morning, he requested that Inuyasha take Rin and Jaken out to search for a suitable parcel of land midway between the western and southern territories, reinforcing his thoughts of having his own castle built.

Approximately three days in, Ashira brought news that numerous youkai and humans were outside wanting to offer their services to their new lord. Many brought food, including rice, grain and various vegetables; others brought luxurious fabrics that they would sew into clothes once their new lord had made his selections, while still others brought live animals, coins and gifts for the youkai who had freed them from a hopeless fate.

Unfortunately, in his usual disinterested tone, the youkai lord had calmly told the handmaiden to send them away. He had no desire to be thanked for accomplishing something he had done for his own sake. After much persuading, however, Sesshomaru eventually made an appearance. Regrettably, the youkai lord had even less interest in having anyone else inside the castle while the hidenka was still recovering and had turned most of them away, save for those who could do reconstruction of the demolished exterior castle grounds. He allowed himself to be gracious enough to request that the others return next week, when he was more settled.

For the next couple of days, Hidenka Akatsuki slept, as her handmaidens tended to her during the day and her strength slowly, but steadily began to return; while Sesshomaru sat in the living area waiting; just barely occupying himself by idly sketching some basic plans for the layout of his planned new castle. Inuyasha, Rin and Jaken searched for suitable land and space upon which Sesshomaru could have his castle built. The youkai lord spent his nights by the hidenka's bedside, having nothing but time to consider his acts, as well as where his future was likely headed as he studied the youkai whose life he had nearly lost. He was fully aware that she may well benefit from this daiyoukai's protection, but he could see no value in this Sesshomaru taking a non-warrior as his potential mate.

Now, as he sat and watched her for hours on end, as he had done for the past few days, Sesshomaru's thoughts and emotions volleyed back and forth pulled in a myriad of uncontrolled directions that started like a sour taste in his mouth, then settled to an uncustomary discomfort in the pit of his stomach.

Not surprisingly, the bulk of his anger still focused on the hidenka lying before him and why she had foolishly risked her own life, then circled around and back to his puzzlement over why his Tenseiga would not work. It did not take long before his thoughts drifted to his concern that his life would change as a result of his obligation to become her protector. Eventually, it rambled to his discomfort over the reality that he had never owed a single thing to a single soul, but now, he was indebted to a youkai he did not know.

After watching the hidenka's continuous struggles for survival for the fourth straight day, the youkai lord's frame of mind settled slightly. No longer did he blame her for some form of entrapment. Instead, he directed the blame at the one youkai in whose hands the fault rightly belonged; himself.

_We should simply enter quietly and take the young hanyou out._

Why had he not taken her advice? Was it because she was not a warrior? Was it because he believed she knew not of what she spoke? If so, then there was truly no one to blame, save himself.

What the hanyou had done was only a small part of the problem. What the hidenka had done was no problem at all. He now acknowledged to himself that the only reason he was in his current situation was because he, himself, had been stubborn. Over the past weeks, he had possessed any number of methods in his very hands that would have forged a different outcome. He had considered them repeatedly for the past few days; he refused to consider them again. His reasoning would not change; the outcome would not change. And unless the hidenka recovered, his fate remained in limbo.

Sesshomaru watched her now, as she struggled helplessly; and though he rarely felt such emotions, he could honestly admit that he regretted that his acts had caused her such pain. Noticing a tear as it slipped from the corners of her eye, the youkai lord was stunned to see her cry. But he had seen that before; several times during her struggles and once when they first met. She may well not be a warrior, but she was a youkai, was she not? He had never known a youkai to cry. Why did she? Leaning forward uncertainly, Sesshomaru reached out rather uncomfortably, gently brushing the tear from the hidenka's closed, but tormented eye.

It had now been five days since Sesshomaru had begun his vigil. Since early afternoon, he continued to sit and listen to the soft and more rhythmic cadence of the hidenka's breadth, quietly observing the pool of white hair crowning her golden face. She looked so peaceful, her face so relaxed, her tears, no longer sliding along her cheeks. Her breathing seemed so much stronger than it had been, though still not quite steady.

As she slept in what was probably closer to a coma like state than true sleep, she seemed to have not a care in the world. He continued to wonder as he watched her, how a youkai's heart would allow her to give her life force for a hanyou she did not even know. It was only after nearly two hundred years that his own heart had evolved enough that he thought his own brother's life worth saving enough to give him his blood.

"Lord Sesshomaru," Ashira, the primary handmaiden called, stepping into the living area later the next day. "Hidenka Akatsuki has awakened, you may see her if you wish."

"Awakened? It has only been six days," the youkai lord stated surprised at the hidenka's apparent rapid recovery, he had expected her to be out for several more days. Nevertheless, he rose and followed behind the youkai handmaiden, who quickly repositioned herself behind her lord. "Is her health improved so quickly?"

"She is awake," Ashira began her voice uncertain as she seemed to specifically refrain from giving her opinion on the condition of her hidenka's health. "She believes she should be able to recuperate on her own, so Bathera and I will be taking our leave today," she added.

"Taking your leave?" Sesshomaru came to a stop. "Today?" he furrowed his brows as he turned to study her quizzically. He had not expected such a rapid departure and would not allow it. "Not necessary," he said dismissing her words. "I am certain Hidenka Akatsuki will enjoy having you here, and she may require additional attention."

Ashira, who had stopped behind him, lowered her head before responding, "With her strength returning, it will probably only be a matter of days before my mistress is strong enough to be on her way herself."

Sesshomaru studied her, thoroughly unconvinced of her sincerity. "Well at least wait until my brother returns, then either he or I can accompany you back to the western lands. I do not wish to leave Hidenka Akatsuki alone."

"That isn't necessary," Ashira insisted, avoiding his gaze. "We will be fine on our own. There's no need for us to impose upon you any longer, my lord."

"It is no imposition," Sesshomaru said studying her intently but upon noticing her reluctance to meet his eyes; he added. "But you may do as you wish," his voice was just vaguely veiling his confusion between her words and the discomfort he noted in her features. Clearly, she was concealing her true thoughts, but he would concede to her wishes. "We can at least retrieve Ah-Un from the stables before we visit the hidenka. I will prepare him to take you back."

Ashira appeared hesitant, but the youkai lord had already started on his way. Resigning herself, she agreed as she caught up and thanked him while they retreated downstairs to the rear of the castle. Sesshomaru prepared the dragon, then brought him to the front to await the handmaidens' departure. Once done, he told her they need not worry about him; informing her that Ah-Un would protect them on their journey and would find his way back once he'd dropped them off. Having that issue settled, the two returned to the castle and to the hidenka's room.

"My lady," Ashira began as she knocked on the shoji screen door before opening it. "Lord Sesshomaru is here."

"Thank you, Ashira," the youkai hidenka replied when the handmaiden pushed open the shoji screen door. Hidenka Akatsuki had risen and was now standing by the side of the bed. Sesshomaru was pleased to see her looking much improved, but he could still scent a weakness in her blood.

"Bathera, if you're ready, we can leave now," she said to the junior handmaiden upon entry into the room, then turned toward her mistress. "Lord Sesshomaru has been gracious enough to provide his dragon to take us back," she said.

"That is fine," she addressed her, then turned toward Sesshomaru. "I thank you."

The two handmaidens bowed graciously to their lord and mistress as they bid them farewell and offered the best of health to the hidenka before departing with what Sesshomaru again noted seemed to be a great deal of concern. Of course, the fact that Ashira had clutched tightly to her mistress's hand and looked pleadingly into her eyes; had done little to conceal her apparent distress.

"Hidenka Akatsuki, should you be out of bed?" Sesshomaru asked as he watched her stroll toward the window. "You still look unsteady and very weak. It has only been a few days and you were gravely injured. Your handmaidens expected you to be out for an additional week or more."

"Akatsuki," she corrected him on his formality. "If I am not mistaken, I believe it was you who undressed me," she said looking down at the lavender kimono that now adorned her body. The handmaidens had found it lying across a chair and helped her into it before summoning him.

"You are correct, I did take that liberty," he informed her, feeling a slight discomfort over having done that. "But your breathing had been so weakened; I was compelled to act."

"I thank you for your assistance," she said clearly weakened, as she reached out and clasped the back of a nearby chair, before asking the one question that had haunted her nightmares the past few days. "Lord Sesshomaru, is your brother truly all right?"

"Sesshomaru," he interjected, now correcting her formality. With such an intimate exchange between them, their titles were no longer a requirement. "You saved him."

She smiled her acknowledgement, with a gentle bow of acceptance. "I am glad of that. My handmaidens told me that he was, but I thought... I thought I had failed you," she said, reflecting on the many horrid thoughts she'd had lately during her unconscious state.

"You did not. But you nearly killed yourself."

"Yes," she responded softly, as she diverted her gaze to the floor. "I thank you for retrieving my handmaidens. I would not have survived without their assistance."

"I was obligated to retrieve whatever assistance I could," he said rather indifferently. That was just the smallest of the obligations he knew he would now have to fulfill. "But I regret that bringing you into this castle has caused you further injury. I was not aware," he said then recalled the anguish he had seen when he had gone to the Suzaku compound. "I also regret causing your mother such distress."

"No, I thank you for showing such concern, and it is I who need apologize for putting you to so much trouble," she responded.

With her legs feeling comparable to mush and her head spinning violently, Hidenka Akatsuki staggered shakily around to the front of the nearby chair and sat down. Having just barely awakened, her legs felt incapable of supporting her own weight but she knew she had only risen to accept her guest.

Sesshomaru watched with unwavering eyes. He was even more confused about the rapid departure of the hidenka's handmaidens, but remained alert to any potential unsteadiness. "Are you still terribly unwell?"

"I am still extremely weak," she acknowledged, her voice low, displaying her obvious weakness. "And somewhat lightheaded, so my handmaidens were forced to shut down my sensor abilities until I could regain my strength," she said smiling softly. "But the ironic part of it is, it is an essential part of my being. I require my sensor abilities if I am to completely regain my strength. It is like healing without an arm or a leg. The wounds may close, but the body will not be whole."

"Perhaps you should lie down," Sesshomaru suggested as he slipped his arms into the sleeves of his haori; studying her with more concern than he would allow himself to display. "You do not appear well enough to be out of bed."

"I will be fine soon," Akatsuki said reaching for a carafe and a glass for some water, located on a nearby table. "Now that my life force has been supplemented, it should be completely replenished soon enough," she added pouring the water into the glass and taking a small sip.

"How has this affected you?" Sesshomaru asked, remaining uncertain of her being left alone. He had no idea how to help a Suzaku sorceress. After hearing the concern in her mother's voice, he realized his lack of knowledge had allowed her to get so close to death and he did not wish it to happen again.

"Most of my life energy was depleted, but my handmaiden's were able to supplement it by sharing theirs, so it will soon complete its regeneration on its own."

"Why did they leave so quickly?" Sesshomaru queried, not comfortable with their rapid departure nor with Ashira's apparent discomfort in the situation and was determined to find out why.

Akatsuki's answer came following a slight hesitation. "I told them too," she admitted quite frankly. "I am certain you did not need additional unwanted guests and I did not wish to impose on you any more than necessary."

"Ridiculous," Sesshomaru said brusquely, not quite expecting that as a response; and slightly angered that such a thought had entered her head. "They were not unwanted and it would have been no imposition. They could provide care I cannot."

"They have supplemented my life force," Akatsuki said it as if there was nothing further to discuss, although she knew she had sent them away because she was certain the lord of the western lands would tolerate no unnecessary intrusions into his life. Ashira had already told her that they thought the soul to soul connection she suffered from while she slept was because of the dormant connection their lord had told them she'd had with the hanyou for so long. But she alone, knew differently. She had severed her connection with the hanyou before she transferred her life force. Her lord might not be aware, and surely, she would never tell him, but because of her inability to control her sensors this past week, she had actually made a soul to soul connection with him.

Likely, it was a result of his having made contact with her flesh when he undressed her. But throughout her attempted recovery, she had been tormented by her lord's hatred of her and her magic and even her value as a non-warrior; something she had sensed repeatedly during her unconscious state. It was enough that she was forced to remain until she recovered sufficiently; she could not allow her handmaidens to intrude upon him as well. "That was all they could do," she said, hating the fact that the words she spoke verged so closely on an untruth. "I should no longer require their assistance to recover."

"As you choose," Sesshomaru said, noting that she seemed a little angered. He wondered if it was because she had required their assistance at all. Then he added as his vision searched her face with an intense questioning gaze. "Why did you do it? Risk your life?"

Akatsuki studied him for a short moment before responding. "I am not as noble as that appears. I had not intended to give so much of my own life force," she admitted as she lowered her gaze thoughtfully. "If I recall correctly, it seemed to have been ripped out of me," she said, her voice again taking on a slight tone of anger, as her thoughts refocused on that night.

"I would not put it past Princess Edera to have placed a spell on me," then she focused her attention on the swords at his hip. "I also know one of your swords is a healing sword, I sensed its life giving force when I first came to you. But since you did not use it for your brother, I can only assume that you could not," she said with a slight pause as she searched her mind for memories. "That may well mean that Princess Edera knew that and did something to counteract your sword's power as well," the youkai hidenka stated as she struggled to connect the pieces. There were so many thoughts crowding her head, most of them made little sense, but she knew there was something important lingering there. She hoped she would remember eventually, she had to. "But I cannot be certain. I know only that to bring me down in such a manner would have required powerful dark magic."

_You will not escape here unscathed._

Sesshomaru reflected on the events from several days ago, Edera had indeed uttered some strange form of enchantment, unleashing some kind mist that he had originally thought was useless miasma before she had fired that force at the hanyou. So that was her goal, was it? To get both the hanyou and Hidenka Akatsuki, thus leaving him devastated, but thankfully, it had not worked. But the youkai lord grew somber with the realization that it was not Akatsuki's responsibility to tell him this, it was his to know. He had nearly lost his brother and the hidenka because he had underestimated that succuvex's connection to hell's magic. He would have to ensure that he never allowed anything like that to happen again.

"Early in that battle, there was something that made me think...," Akatsuki paused as she tried to remember, but she could not.

"Made you think?"

"I am sorry, I cannot remember," Akatsuki said, shaking her head and rubbing the back of her palm across her brow. "It seems to have just slipped away, but perhaps in time, but right now," she paused, taking a deep breath as she closed her eyes briefly. "At any rate, Princess Edera devoured my sister's soul and I am certain she would have known who I was," Akatsuki looked up at him with a lighter glint in her eyes. "But I cannot help but think there was something else about her. Something I needed to tell you, but my mind is still so unclear," she said almost as if angry at her own weakness.

"You need not concern yourself. Edera is dead," Sesshomaru responded, his tone more comforting than he would have preferred. "You have been unconscious for nearly a week. Nothing is so important that you must remember now."

"No, I suppose not," she responded softly, shaking the concern from her mind. "But as for why, at that moment, your world was out of balance. I needed to restore it," she said succinctly.

"Restore the balance?" Sesshomaru asked unclear, his eyes narrowing slightly.

"Yes. As you know, I am a Suzaku life sorceress," she began to explain further. She was positive with the previous disinterest he had displayed in his Suzaku clan subjects, that the youkai lord probably knew little of her abilities, but it did not matter; she would explain what she could. "When I sense a youkai's heart I can feel what they feel about a particular subject, but I cannot determine why they fell as they do. I would require a full soul to soul connection to obtain that level of understanding."

"How is that done exactly?"

"How? I do not honestly know. You were born with certain abilities as was I," she stopped, realizing she may have misunderstood his question. "Oh, unless you meant how do I use it. Then I must admit life sorceresses are born to be of assistance. But I do not believe you would have any interest in the abilities of a youkai that is not a warrior; especially not that of a sorceress."

"And I say I would very much like to understand."

Akatsuki turned a pair of curious eyes toward him. He could not truly wish to know, she was certain. He was likely attempting to make general conversation, but whether he did or not, her lord had requested an understanding. If it was truly his desire to understand, then she would attempt to comply. "All I can say is that the Suzaku clan looks at the world differently than most youkai. A long time ago, we were forced to realize that the world was not about us and our ability to fight.

"Forced?"

Akatsuki lowered her gaze, closing her eyes briefly. "We now understand that everything is connected," she said as she looked up at him again. "We have learned that we must never commit an act without first considering the potential impact that act may have on another. That is the primary reason we are no longer warriors," she said, fully aware that even without her sensor abilities; she knew her lord would have no interest in the affairs of non-warrior youkai.

The youkai lord though, had heard her words, but he was more concerned about the increasing pace of her heart beat. It spoke of an unsteadiness; and he knew only that he did not wish to risk losing this youkai again.

"We now understand that everything lives and breathes together. Everything we think stirs our emotions; sometimes very little at other times a great deal. Even you," she paused as she studied him; a weakness glazing over her eyes. She felt her own heart beat increasing, and could not help but wonder if her earlier decision would prove fatal. "I am certain that as a warrior, you prefer to believe you care for or about nothing. But if that were true, you would have to be dead," she watched him closely; fearing that her words would anger him. Despite his desire to know, she fully understood that he was a warrior with little patience. She had just barely recovered from losing her life force; she had no desire to now lose her head.

"I do not exist to say that anything anyone chooses to do is wrong; though you may not display your emotions, that does not mean you do not experience them. I do not believe you would have that human child under your charge if you did not," but she knew that full well, from the hatred she believed she had experienced this past week. "That shows the potential for great compassion," she said noticing the narrowing of his eyes; hoping he would show compassion to her after such a brazen declaration. "When we focus on a thought, any thought, we also feel emotions because of those thoughts; which means our hearts are connected to our head, yet each resides in its own space," she paused, wondering if he would kill her now; then continued when he did not move.

"You are connected to your brother, which is a biological connection. Because I touched his soul when he was sealed, I was connected to him, physically;" she said fighting the spin in her head. "When you came to me, I was able to sense your concerns for him because of our proximity connection. As a life sorceress, I knew you had searched for him and that you were very angry," she leaned back against the chair. "That was something you felt strongly about when I sensed your heart, but I cannot tell you why you felt that way, only that I know you did. We are all connected to each other in some way. Our connections affect many things. The young master's untimely death threw things out of balance. As a life sorceress, I was obligated to restore that balance."

"Are you a spiritual creature?"

She laughed lightly, then coughed, nearly choking from her own weakness. "I am a youkai like you my lord," she said once she had caught her breath. "We just have different rolls to play."

"Sesshomaru," he reminded her.

She smiled softly, "I would say, though, that unlike you; I am a youkai caught between two worlds - the world of fate and destiny and the world of choice and free will."

"Fate and destiny? Does that mean you resign yourself to some other unknown power?"

"I resign myself to no power save my own. You are a warrior. The world you see through your eyes, is the world you choose to define as you desire," she said, knowing that he would likely look down on her even more with what she was about to say. "What I see is the world I choose to define, but because I am a Suzaku life sorceress, I also see the world as decreed by a higher power. Unlike you, I do not see the world as fate versus free will; I see it as a combination of fate _and_ free will. Because I know I cannot control everything."

_Sesshomaru, did you believe yourself to be a god?_

That is what his haha-ue had wanted to know when he had caused Rin's death that second time. But at that time, with all his power and the use of his Tenseiga, he had thought...

"Akatsuki you are correct. I do see the world primarily as I choose to define it." But he had learned so much since then. In fact, he had learned so much since the time the hanyou had cut off his left arm. What would he be forced to learn from his recent acts? Now that he would have to become the hidenka's protector, would he now see the world through her eyes? That would not be acceptable. He was a warrior, and he would always be so. Having others in his life had already changed him in untold ways, did he wish to change more? "But I also know I cannot control everything."

The youkai hidenka studied him uncertainly and blinked. "I was not aware. Most warriors do not."

"That is because most youkai foolishly overestimate their own worth and believe they have nothing to learn," Sesshomaru said thoughtfully; realizing that perhaps she might see the world through his eyes. "My chichi-ue taught me differently," he realized now, though that he had not fully appreciated the value of those teachings until recently. "If I truly believed I controlled everything, I would not have lost my left arm."

"Lost your left arm?" She asked, looking confusedly at what she was certain was indeed his left arm folded so sternly across his chest, beneath his haori.

"Yes, the hanyou severed it several years ago when I waged battle against him."

"Waged battle? But you have it now."

"That is a story that took place quite some time ago."

"I see," she said, understanding that it was clearly not something he wished to discuss.

"But in essence, what you are saying is every result, has a connecting act," he asked, trying to understand her previous meaning. "So if I had not waged war and killed Princess Edera, Inuyasha would not have died and you would not have been required to give him your life force?"

"That is difficult to say. As I said, everything is connected; yet everything flows in its own space. Changing one thing, may affect many things. But simply because something happens does not mean it should not occur. You were likely destined to take Princess Edera's life, eventually. Master Inuyasha's death, however, was not destined at that time. I know that only because of my previous connection with him. When he first awoke, I saw many years of life ahead for him. I also saw that the two of you have much to do together. If you had retrieved your brother, I am certain Princess Edera would have quickly sought you out. In so doing, she would likely have met her fate at your hands then. Away from her castle, and all of its channels to hell bound magic, things could have ended a lot... cleaner," she exhaled lightly as if regretting a lost opportunity. "I can only assume she believed she could wound you by taking your brother," the hidenka took another drink of water, her hand shaking unsteadily as she tried to return the glass to the table, nearly tilting it over.

Sesshomaru's eyes narrowed as he scrutinized her closely.

"Normally, everything moves as it should," the hidenka continued as if trying to ignore her continued weakness. "It is like walking down a road. There comes a point when the road may fork, and you are forced to turn left or right. Is either choice wrong? Essentially, no," she shrugged her shoulders and issued several soft coughs.

Sesshomaru could sense her energy failing as she spoke. But he also sensed a determined stubbornness in her and he wondered if it would be pointless to tell her to lie down again. Clearly she did not wish to acknowledge her weakness. She had probably never been weakened so. From the scent of the turmoil in her blood, he was certain her strength was not far from where his own was when he was recovering from the Tetsusaiga's kaze ni kizu attack.

"Your direction is determined by your need in that moment. It would only be wrong if you could not reach your ultimate destination based on the choice you made, and there is no other available path," Akatsuki continued, her voice slightly weaker than before. Her words came as if it strained her to breathe. She paused to reach for and take another drink of water, her hands shook even more violently and she quickly released the glass, wringing her hands together, and clasping them tightly in her lap with apparent embarrassment.

The youkai lord restrained himself from reacting, but noted her continued discomfort.

The hidenka breathed heavily before continuing. She looked at him with bleary eyes. "When I initially came to you, your heart was in such conflict that it would have been unfair to judge you based on that moment. That is why I told you to consider my words," her heart beat increased its pace and began to race inside of her and she knew she should lie down, but she also felt her obligation to tell her lord what she could before she slept again. From the near lifelessness she was experiencing, she knew not how long that might be. But now, extremely weakened, Akatsuki closed her eyes and leaned back in the chair as she rubbed her fingers along her temples, in an attempt to reduce the ache building there.

"Enough," Sesshomaru said, moving swiftly to lift her into his arms and lay her onto the bed. He knew there would be no point in telling her to do that herself; besides, he could hear the rapid beating of her heart. It had increased some time ago and he knew that foretold of a downturn in her health that he did not wish to risk. "You are not well enough to be sitting up just yet," he said, the tone of his voice contained an uncustomary gentleness. "I know only of broken bones, nothing of losing my life force, but I do know all things heal in their own time. You should not rush this."

"Thank you," she said after he'd laid her gently on the bed. She was awed by his swiftness and his tenderness. Perhaps she had misunderstood him. She was slightly tempted to understand more of this youkai by reading his heart, but for her health, her handmaidens had cast a tsunagari hitokugiri enchantment to break any connections she might have and shut down her sensor abilities. She believed she had sensed such confusing and disturbing thoughts when she slept that she had been unsettled by them. In her weakened state, she could not deal with them now. She was uncertain where they had truly originated, but they seemed to come from the youkai lord himself.

Initially, she had felt such strong hatred directed at her; as well as himself; but then things had changed, but only slightly. She had actually, felt that he wanted to comfort her; but that was impossible. Even when she had initially met him, she could sense the strong dislike he held toward her and all youkai who used magical enchantments instead of just their own internal power. She understood now, why he had never visited the western Suzaku compound despite the fact that they resided in his lands. His regard for youkai, who were not warriors like himself, was so very low.

Recalling some vague memory, the youkai hidenka felt the need to tell of something she believed she had sensed, but from where; she knew not. "I must ask you," my lord, she started to add again, but stopped herself. She did not yet feel comfortable calling him by his given name only. "Did you know of Princess Edera before she appeared at your camp several weeks ago?"

"No, I had heard of her doings, I believe," he responded, moving to retrieve a chair from the corner to sit beside her. "But I knew her not. Why do you ask?"

"My thoughts are still so unclear, I probably should not mention this," the hidenka said, rubbing her forehead once more. "At this moment, I know not what was real and what was not."

"I do not understand."

"The past few days, which seemed more like months, I sensed such hatred toward you," the hidenka said, with no thought of the hatred she had felt toward herself. But she believed she understood that hatred, and could expect nothing less. But this hatred was different; it was specifically directed at her lord. "At any rate I did not get the sense that Princess Edera sought your power for herself alone. But in truth, I do not know what I truly sensed because I know not if it was simply my state of weakness, or the dark magic that surrounds this castle. Only that I feel you should not drop you guard. You have an enemy out there."

"An enemy? I have many enemies, of that, I am certain."

"But this one, for reasons unknown to me, I feel the desire to say... is Lord... Balthazar. But truly, I do not believe he is capable of exiting the demon lands, so I do not understand it. Though I believe whomever it is, he is very powerful, but I also believe he desires your power."

"Well, let him come if he dares," the youkai lord declared brazenly. "He will soon learn that this daiyoukai's power is more than enough even for him to attempt to conquer."

"I am certain," she said, remembering the easy manner in which he had dispensed of Princess Edera's errtu. "But if I may, I advise you to be on your guard."

"You need not concern yourself," Sesshomaru responded. "I am quite capable of handling myself. But you," he began almost regretfully. "It was not my intent to cause you such discomfort."

"You need not concern yourself. I should be fine soon," she turned away, remembering what she had sensed in his brother's soul. Remembering the hatred she had sensed while she slept. This youkai beside her hardly seemed to be the same one his brother feared so. He hardly seemed to be the same youkai she was certain she had sensed so much hatred from. Could her sensors have been off by so much while she was unconscious? "But you are correct. I should not rush it."

"No, you should not," he said pouring some water into the glass and handing it to her. "I truly wish you had checked with me before you sent your handmaidens away. I would never have allowed it."

Akatsuki studied him as she looked into a pair of overly distressed, golden eyes and frowned. She did not have to sense his heart to understand that look of obligation. As a youkai, she had seen it and experienced it on numerous occasions; for others, if not for herself. It was something she had vowed never to allow herself to become caught up in. And she would not allow herself to become caught in it now. "Sesshomaru," she began hesitantly, reflecting on saying his name for the first time. "You are not indebted to me," she said; noting that he clearly seemed to think he needed to care for her. "What I did, I did of my own choosing. I believe it was Princess Edera who drained my life force. Your debt was repaid when you retrieved my handmaidens and avenged my sister."

"But you initiated the transfer freely," he protested. He had spent nearly every minute of the past few days attempting to devise an honorable exit. There was no honor in seizing upon the words of a youkai who had recently emerged from the fringes of the netherworld. "And the payment was not equal. I could not return your sister to you."

"But the debt was repaid nonetheless," she watched as he sat thoughtfully in the chair beside her bed. "You accomplished something I was unable to do."

"Killing Princess Edera was for my own sake," he said dismissively.

"But in accomplishing your desire, you also satisfied mine."

"Insufficient. I cannot allow your debt to go unpaid."

Tilting her head, she again frowned slightly, but the youkai lord did not seem to notice.

Sesshomaru spent the next half hour sitting in the chair beside the hidenka's bed as they continued to talk. Finally, he decided it was best if he let her rest. Before leaving, he informed her he would check on her later and would bring something for her to eat if she wished. Declining, Akatsuki decided she would simply sleep for a while; certain it would help improve her condition.

**A/N: Finally, the hidenka has awakened, and a lot sooner than anyone thought she would. But w****hat was that? Not indebted to her. What, is she crazy? After all my work to give her an in, she's not going to take it. Maybe I was wrong about her. I'd take that youkai any way I could get him.**

Wow, Sesshomaru is so talented. He's an architect now?

Akatsuki - (Aurora/Dawn)  
haha-ue - (mother)  
hidenka - (princess)  
Kaze ni kizu - (windscar)  
ningyou youkai - (puppet demons)  
tsunagari hitokugiri - (connection break)


	27. Chapter 27 Relapse Setback

**Sesshomaru & Inuyasha: Brothers in Arms  
Sesshomaru & Inuyasha: Kyōdai de Busō**

Shō 27 - Saihatsu /Zasetsu  
Chapter 27 - Relapse/Setback

"Oh Lord Sesshomaru, we're back. Did you miss us," Rin asked bounding off the sofa and running up to greet her lord the moment he entered the large living area. They had recently returned from the western lands after five days away, and it was probably more that Rin missed her lord than the other way around.

"Did you enjoy your trip?" Sesshomaru asked in his usual reserved tone, though he admitted silently to himself, that it had been exceedingly quite these past few days, without her innocent exuberance to offer diversity.

"Oh yes my lord, but I don't think Master Jaken did. He said some bad things and Inuyasha had to punish him by kicking him across a field," Rin said almost sullenly, turning to look at the little imp who had begun to creep away from the sharp penetrating gaze now directed toward him, despite the fact that the youkai lord himself could almost picture the humor of it.

"I didn't say _anything_, me lord...," Jaken began to protest then turned toward Inuyasha as if afraid the hanyou would now prove his words to be a lie. But the hanyou's attentions were diverted to his own thoughts.

"Rin, do you wish to retire?" Sesshomaru asked redirecting his attention to his young charge. "It is late."

"Oh, no my lord; I slept on Inuyasha's back almost all the way here," she said with a slight giggle. "He found such a beautiful place for you to build your castle," she said spinning on her heels, as if she was standing out in an open plain. "It's gigantic," she said waving her arms in the air. "It has lots of flowers and trees with fruits and vegetables, a hot spring to take a bath and a lake where Rin can catch plenty of fish."

The youkai lord smiled internally at her continued innocence despite the battles she had seen him in. "We will likely have an indoor bath like here," he informed her, becoming slightly engrossed in his own thoughts. It mattered little whether he savored the thought or not; the youkai he was obligated to protect had likely lived a life quite different from his own. She was not a warrior, did that mean she lived a softer life than his own and he would have to ensure her comfort in any castle he constructed? He could honestly admit, he liked not the direction his life was currently following.

"Lord Sesshomaru," Rin began, again claiming his attention as she came to an almost abrupt stop. "Will Rin be able to stay with you in the new castle?" she asked her eyes wide with the fear of his likely refusal. "Master Jaken says I can't. He says I shouldn't even be here now. But I can't go back to Kaede-san, can I my lord?"

The youkai lord's eyes widened slightly as he studied her. Did she know? Had she surmised the truth of the miko's fate? In the past, she had always seemed to have a way of knowing that which had not been spoken. Refocusing, Sesshomaru shot another sharp glare toward the little youkai, who scuttled backward, behind the sofa, before turning once more toward the young girl. "Rin, we will discuss this at a later point. Go to bed now." The youkai lord had not yet decided if it would be wise to have her remain under his care. Things were changing so rapidly in his life.

"Ahh, yes, my lord," Rin answered clearly disappointed at not receiving answers to her questions as she trudged slowly out of the room. "But you won't send Rin away, will you?" She asked before completely exiting.

Sesshomaru did not respond. Disappointing her was the youkai lord's most hated peeve. But how could he tell her about the miko's death. How could he tell her about the changes in his life? How could he tell her of his uncertainty regarding her fate? He knew not if his current obligation would force him to completely restructure his very existence. This course of events was unacceptable for the daiyoukai of the west. "You too Jaken," the youkai lord commanded far less affectionately.

"Huh? Ohhhh, yes me lord," Jaken whined miserably as he exited the room, attempting to stay well out of his lord's reach.

Sesshomaru knew there was still much that remained unsettled before he could appropriately decide whether he could or even should keep Rin. But that was partly because he did not wish to endanger her again. He may well find himself spending a considerable amount of time out on patrol, much like his chichi-ue had done. The hidenka had not yet fully recovered and he needed to have a staff on hand to maintain this castle, not to mention guards to protect those he brought inside. When he had initially envisioned himself completing his empire, he had not envisioned this. He had believed he would do it all alone, because he would not require an official castle. If he did, he believed he would be able to reside in his childhood castle, though that thought had never been appealing. As much as he hated magic, such a thought had always left a foul taste in his mouth when he considered that his own haha-ue had surrounded herself and that castle with such frivolities.

Now, his life required more stability; something he had not foreseen. If he were to keep Rin, and become the protector of the hidenka who had likely resided in the Suzaku compound her entire life, he knew he required a home. This castle alone was massive. With the two territories he now had under his rule, he could not manage them both alone. He had never utilized guards before. He had never had to, but as the new lord of the western and southern territories, that was just one of the many levels of order he would have to institute.

"You know we could have used that damned dragon of yours while we were out scouring the western lands for you," Inuyasha began the moment the other two had left the room. "It's not like any of us can fly the way you can. Rin fell asleep before we even got half way back," he said clearly annoyed.

Sesshomaru, though, found it difficult to determine about what exactly. Was he annoyed because he could not fly, because he had scoured the western lands for him, or because Rin had fallen asleep? "I see," he said turning his head to address the hanyou. "I held him back because I thought Akats...Hidenka Akatsuki's handmaidens might require him to return to the Suzaku compound for additional assistance," Sesshomaru responded taking a seat in a large nearby chair. But he also knew he had done that to keep them away a little longer. If he had not, he had no idea what the stress of the additional souls in the castle would have done to the hidenka in her current condition. "As it turned out, they used him to take them back to their castle."

Inuyasha stared at him for a moment. "To stay?" he asked. "You mean they left? Is the hidenka better already?" Inuyasha was now perched on the edge of the sofa. "I thought you said she'd be sleeping while she recovered for the next week or so."

"She awoke earlier this afternoon."

"Already? So she's up? What does that mean? She wasn't as bad as you thought? So she's not your obligation anymore?" Inuyasha asked still hoping his brother would not be forced to uphold something that had been done for his sake.

"Youkai obligations are not dismissed so randomly, Inuyasha."

"So where is she?" Inuyasha sank back against the sofa, believing that no matter what Sesshomaru said before, as proud as that youkai was about living his life as he defined it, it would only be a matter of time before he hated him for something else he had no control over.

"She is still very weak, so she is resting."

"If she's still so weak, why did her nurses leave?"

"I suppose they had business to attend to," Sesshomaru responded rather flatly, hoping to end a conversation to which had had insufficient answers.

"Business? What kind of business is more important than the health of their hidenka?" Inuyasha demanded growing angered at the thought.

"If you must know, Hidenka Akatsuki told them to leave," Sesshomaru informed him, realizing the hanyou was not going to stop delving into the matter. And even though he did not completely understand it himself, the hidenka was well within her rights to do whatever she so chose. They were her assistants, were they not? If she did not wish their assistance, she need not accept it. "But Ashira, the head handmaiden, said she should be able to recuperate on her own." The youkai lord, though could not help but wonder with the weakness he had scented in her blood, whether he should have insisted they remain.

"Recuperate? On her own? But that doesn't make sense," Inuyasha argued uselessly. He still harbored a deep-seated guilt for what had happened and was frustrated with his inability to do anything to help. "Do you believe her?" he asked, noticing a hint of discomfort in his brother's features. "If she's still sick, they should be here, shouldn't they?"

"Needless to say, I agree," Sesshomaru said, rubbing the pads of his fingers thoughtfully along his temple; remembering the concern he saw on Ashira's face as well as the scent of unease that emanated from her. "But as I said, Hidenka Akatsuki told them to, and I do not believe she is one to be argued with," he said remembering her refusal to lie down.

"So what's going to happen if she gets sick again? Is it just an automatic youkai thing that she'll be fine now?"

"I do not know, and I doubt it since youkai are not invincible," Sesshomaru said wondering if the worst was truly over. "But I believe I can care for her if needed," he said, silently questioning if he truly would be qualified to handle it. "I did care for you."

"Yeah, but I was only poisoned," Inuyasha said glibly, lifting his arms up behind his head as he reared back against the sofa. "I know you're a mighty youkai lord and all, but when was the last time you cared for someone who'd lost their life force?"

Sesshomaru's ears twitched as he arched his brow and studied him. "Do you still resent me so intensely, Inuyasha?"

"Huh? What makes you ask that?"

"Mighty Youkai Lord," Sesshomaru restated his words. "There was a great deal of resentment cloaked in that phrase."

Inuyasha was silent for a long time while he considered that. Sesshomaru was right; there was resentment in his words, in him. But how did he know that? Was he that transparent?

"What is it? You are not one to hold back your words."

"I guess I'm still wondering what you want with me."

"Did we not cover this?" Sesshomaru asked, growing annoyed at the hanyou's insistence to cling to the past. He had to know, that he was not a youkai who displayed his emotions and he would not begin for his sake, regardless of his need to make up for the injustices he had doled out to him over the years. "What makes you think I want something?"

"Well maybe not want something, but why would you want me in your life?"

Sesshomaru sighed heavily. "Inuyasha we are kin. You told me you wanted to try again, but if you do not wish to stay, you are free to leave," he said, perhaps a little too harshly as he considered how vexingly difficult building this relationship was proving to be. If nothing else, the hanyou had a propensity for stirring his emotions to the negative spectrum. His life would be changing dramatically, and here was his half-brother, again pushing him away. Inuyasha had a lot more hesitation than Sesshomaru felt he would ever be able to overcome, and he wondered if his efforts were worth it; but all he could do was try. But for how long?

_I didn't need you to teach me how to use my freaking claws or how to sniff out some damned threats; I needed to go with you._

Sesshomaru came to the realization that as frustrating as it might be, he had to continue trying. It was because he had not tried earlier in the hanyou's life, that his task was proving to be as difficult now as it was, so he added. "But there are things I myself, would like to correct," his tone now was a little more tempered.

"Sesshomaru, I know we've said all of this before," Inuyasha said sensing his brother's frustration, as he considered what _he_ wanted or needed from this relationship. "I don't know why this is so hard for me, but it is. I just keep thinking you're just planning to kick me to the street when you get tired of your latest fetish."

Sesshomaru didn't answer immediately, wondering what he could say to assure him, but decided to keep it simple. "I can only say I will not," then he added. "And I do not have fetishes. I have to institute order here, Inuyasha. If you do not wish to stay, that is entirely up to you. But though I said I wanted nothing, I would wish your assistance."

"My assistance? For what?"

_I also saw that the two of you have much to do together__._

"This castle requires staffing. I must also obtain guards. I cannot do that now, while the hidenka is injured, but I would desire you to be my general of the guards under my command," he said, revealing something he had considered since before he had sent the hanyou back to the western lands.

"General of the guards? Me? Why would you want me to do that? How do you know we won't be fighting all the time?"

"Are you saying you are anxious to taste my poison claws again?" Sesshomaru asked only half rhetorically, as he studied the hanyou, his golden gaze darting across his face. He was fully aware that the hanyou's inability to trust him was one of the primary reasons they were here.

"Ahh, no," Inuyasha quickly protested, his fingers grabbing at his throat, the memories of the last few occurrences pummeling his head. "But what would I know about being your general?"

"What would you need to know?" Sesshomaru inquired. "I have plans of instructing you in the art of Kenjutsu fighting. You have a powerful sword, do you not? What more would you require? Unless it is the need to understand and embrace the youkai way of life; if not from me, on you own."

"You plan to teach me the youkai way of life?" Inuyasha asked with surprise, as his eyelids flipped wide.

"It is long overdue, is it not? I know not what other words to tell you except I would desire you to consider it."

"And you honestly think I can be your general?"

"I would not have asked, if I did not," Sesshomaru stated, peering deep into the hanyou's eyes in an attempt to figure out exactly what he needed to hear. It seemed like the more time he spent around him, the more insight he had to his thoughts. But even that insight at times, seemed fleeting. But for whatever reasons the hanyou seemed to require assurances. In order to make this work, he knew he would have to be as open and honest as he could.

"I am aware that I made your life difficult when I sought the Tetsusaiga, but that is done," Sesshomaru said slowly, as if hoping this would be the last time he would have to repeat himself. "I have no need for it. But," he rose and directed a determined gaze down into a set of large golden orbs. "I have always wondered why chichi-ue left I, Sesshomaru, Tenseiga. What need had I to save anyone? I now believe I have always known, but I had not wished to accept it," he paused slightly before continuing. Having the hanyou in his life with all his persistent questions had forced him to divulge things he had previously divulged to no one. "I accept it now; because I believe I required it if I was ever going to understand humans better, or to understand you a bit more," Sesshomaru said as he turned and headed toward the living area door, hoping Inuyasha would soon realize that even he, Sesshomaru, had his own moments of uncertainty. "I must check on the hidenka," he said knowing it was more that he wished to give the hanyou time to truly consider his words.

"So you still intend to settle down with her?"

"As I said, it is my obligation," Sesshomaru said, then stopped in front of the door and turned back to face the hanyou without a flicker of emotion displayed on his face, though inwardly he was deeply troubled that he still seemed unable to allay his concerns. "I hope you will give it some time, Inuyasha; give us some time," he paused for a moment, then added, "As for the person I wish to command my guards, I would like it to be you," he said then departed. He was not ignorant of the hanyou's needs. Like himself, Inuyasha was a fighter. Sesshomaru knew he longed to fight again. He did not want him believing his only value was to perform tasks, although for now, because of Akatsuki's illness, he had left many things in the hanyou's hands and he knew he would have to intrude upon him yet again. His chichi-ue had always been a great and fare ruler. If he wished to do the same, the youkai lord first had to get his own home in order.

Sesshomaru rapped lightly on the frame of Akatsuki's bedroom door, but received no response. Rapping again a little louder and still receiving no response, the youkai lord pushed aside the shoji screen covering and entered. To his dismay, unlike on his previous visits, the hidenka did not sleep the unfettered coma-like sleep she had slept will regaining her life force. She had rested so uncomfortably, that she had pushed aside the bedding and her body now lay partially uncovered. The youkai lord wondered how long she had been in such distress.

Moving closer to her, he noticed a fine mist of perspiration blanketing her skin, and leaned forward to brush the hair from her face as he tried to ascertain her condition. There was a warm flush beneath the surface, which clearly spoke to her having a fever. Noticing the tightness in her fingers, the youkai lord pried them opened, then moved her hands to her side, securing her frame beneath the bedding by pulling and pushing the ends of the bedding beneath the mattress to secure her movements. He had no desire for her to inadvertently injure herself with her own claws.

With some degree of concern, Sesshomaru stood and watched her momentarily as he tried to determine what to do. Should he retrieve her handmaidens again? No, he did not wish to leave her alone in such a condition; her state was restless and could deteriorate further before he returned.

The youkai lord wondered if he should send Ah-Un with a note to retrieve the hidenka's handmaidens, then wondered if he should send the hanyou with him; then wondered if he would once again distress her mother. Having no desire to do that either; he decided against it. He reasoned that even though Ashira clearly did not wish to leave the hidenka's side - she had. She would not have done that if she believed the hidenka was in any serious danger.

Currently, she seemed to be running a fever, if that was truly all, he could care for her regarding that, could he not? Hoping the hidenka's condition would not progress to a level beyond his capabilities, the youkai lord spent no additional time thinking about what had been done, and focused only on what needed to be done. Little did he know when he had nursed his hanyou brother that he would soon be nurse to a Suzaku hidenka.

Retrieving a basin from the dressing table, Sesshomaru retreated to a water closet down the hall. The small room had a stand with another basin resting on it and a jug of fresh water with some hand towels. After retrieving one of the towels as well as the water, Sesshomaru re-entered the bedroom, then took a seat on the edge of the hidenka's bed.

Dampening the cloth, the youkai lord gently stroked it across her face and forehead, then proceeded to nurse her for the next few hours. Though he knew she had to burn off her fever, he did not feel the need to light the fire pit. He was certain a few additional pieces of bedding would keep her body sufficiently warm.

Caring for Akatsuki was a lot different than caring for his hanyou half-brother. It was not merely the differences in their physical appearances or attributes; it was the level of his guilt. In her case, he felt personally responsible. It mattered not that she had sent her handmaidens away and left her care in his hands; his prideful desire to rescue the hanyou had caused this and it was his obligation. Although he also had to admit Edera had been far more vindictive than he had foreseen.

_I have never been denied, Lord Sesshomaru. I will not be now. My plans will be fulfilled._

The youkai lord emitted a heavy sigh as he continued to rub the damp cloth across the hidenka's face, neck and chest. He had previously had no interest in Princess Edera's words, but she had held true to them. She had sought to destroy him, and she had sought to do that anyway she could. Her intent was to destroy him by taking the life of his younger brother. And he believes Akatsuki had been correct in her earlier assessment. Edera had likely known she would try to save him. If Edera could not get to him by taking his brother's life, she had planned to get to him by taking Akatsuki's. Despite not knowing her as closely as Edera might have assumed, she would have known as the lord of the west, he would not have relished the thought of endangering anyone's life under his protection.

_I did not get the sense that Princess Edera sought your power for herself alone.  
I feel the desire to say he is Lord Balthazar._

But why should this Balthazar have any interest in him. He knew him not. But he had disregarded her advice before which nearly resulted in her death, would he prove himself to be a baka, if he did again? Would she think of him as such? But still, he would cower from no one - human or youkai.

The youkai lord knew if he had to do it over again, he would without question, still make the effort to rescue the hanyou, but as a ruler and not simply as a conqueror. He knew now, he would have to give considerable thought to all alternatives. He could not simply rush to battle any longer. He needed to obtain more information to know exactly what he was up against, and what the risks would be. In the future, he would need to develop more of a strategy. He could not make the mistake of underestimating the power of magic. Youkai today, relied more heavily upon it than on their own strength and swords.

After a couple of hours of nursing her, Akatsuki no longer moved restlessly, but Sesshomaru could still feel the heat beneath her flesh. The youkai lord had never known a youkai to heat so, but he knew it was because she was still recovering from her near death. Once more he wondered why she would send her handmaidens away so quickly. Did the hidenka, herself, not consider they may be required for her care?

_I did not wish to impose on you any more than necessary._

Why would she think they would be an imposition? Did she not realize that if he was obligated to become her protector; it also meant ensuring she had adequate care as well? The care he could provide would not be nearly as effective as her own handmaidens could provide.

Sesshomaru studied her; wondering if her decisions might have been based on the anger she had initially sensed in his heart, or perhaps the hatred he had displayed throughout the west over the years. But he knew that mattered not. The past was the past, and nothing he did would ever change it, nor did he care to.

**************************************************

Several hours later, to the relief of the youkai lord, the hidenka slowly, groggily began to stir with a slight degree of awareness.

The flickering flame was unsettling as Akatsuki opened her eyes.

That's what she saw as she gradually started to drift out of darkness and into consciousness. Opening her eyes slowly, Akatsuki quickly shut them again. She was facing a very bright oil lamp and the light nearly blinded her. She tried sitting up, her muscles were sore all over, but she twisted despite the pain. Rubbing her eyes, she slowly opened them again, letting them adjust to the brightness. As she regained awareness she spotted him, "Lord Sesshomaru?," she began with alarm. "What are you doing here?" she asked when she'd sighted him. Then she remembered the past events when she noted the look on his face seemed one of deep concern.

"Sesshomaru," he immediately corrected, noting that she likely had little clarity. "I came to check on you," he began as he again experienced the ill feeling he had felt upon discovering her in such a state. "You were resting uncomfortably. I did not wish to leave you unattended," he said as he placed the hand cloth on the edge of the basin.

"I apologize for disturbing you," she said watching his movements as she strained to push herself to a sitting position, pulling the bedding up to clutch it against her chest. She noticed he had placed additional pieces of bedding across her and she regretted the trouble she must have caused. "It must have been an aftereffect of having lost so much of my life force. I had not intended for you to become my nursemaid."

"And I had not intended for you to become injured. Yet here we are," he said, attempting to ease her obvious discomfort. "I do not believe you should have allowed your handmaidens to leave so quickly, would you like me to retrieve them?"

"Sending them away so soon, may have been a reckless mistake on my part," she diverted a pair of guilt ridden eyes after having caused the youkai lord such undue distress. "But I am certain I will be fine now," she said leaning back against the pillow, her eyes closing briefly, as she tried to conceal her anguish over having not retained at least one of her handmaidens.

"I seem to recall hearing that before, but you are still very weak and need to be cared for. Perhaps you should lie back until you are better," he said placing his hand firmly on her shoulder to force her down gently.

The youkai hidenka slid beneath the bedding as per his request. She could not bear causing him more anguish. "You do not have to concern yourself with me," she said looking up at him with concern cloaking her own eyes; as she wondered how long he had been forced to attend her. She hoped that once she was well, he would at least, no longer feel the need to care for or protect her.

"How can I not?" Sesshomaru asked believing that her unwillingness to accept his care was probably due to the fact that she had previously sensed his heart and knew he would not have relished this kind of act. He was determined though, to prove her wrong now. He would be unable to fulfill his obligation to her if she would not accept his assistance. "I do not doubt your ability to heal, but this is not an injury you have previously suffered, I am sure. Are you certain you do not wish me to at least retrieve Ashira?"

"I am certain, and I appreciate your concern," she said looking away thoughtfully. She was consumed by thoughts of the sensations she had experienced while she was unconscious the first time, but then, she clearly had no control. She wondered if her thoughts were now playing tricks with her. She had felt such regret and deep concern from a caring heart - from this youkai's heart. But that could not be possible. She had convinced herself, that it had been from her handmaidens, but that was also impossible. They were her handmaidens. She could not sense their hearts.

But she knew this youkai lord would care for no one; yet here he was, caring for her even though it was purely in a physical manner. But someone had truly concerned themselves with her well-being. In her mind, she had believed it was him. But she had never in her life experienced anyone's concern for her. As a life sorceress, that was not an ability she possessed. So, whatever she thought she had sensed was clearly just a dream. But why would she have dreamt such a thing? "But you have much to do to stabilize the southern lands. I do not wish to be a distraction."

"Akatsuki, you are no distraction," Sesshomaru insisted, as he reached across to brush a wisp of hair from her forehead and rested the back of his palm against it to determine her temperature. "You are still quite warm even for a youkai. I know you have a great deal of fire power, but do you usually burn so?" he paused, realizing his voice contained a hint of too much apprehension. No, that should not be. He need only ensure her safety; he need not concern himself with her. "Even still, as long as you remain under my protection, I will do what I must to ensure your health and safety," he said in a more impartial tone. "I will continue to monitor you as you rest, but if it continues as before, I _will_ retrieve your handmaidens," the youkai lord concluded sternly.

Akatsuki studied him with clear, through weakened blue eyes, but said nothing further on the subject. She was amazed that this warrior lord could seem so caring and gentle. Having sensed the distress in his brother's soul, she had not anticipated such kindness. His brother's turmoil and confusion regarding him, would lead one to believe the youkai lord would rather walk over you than help. Even her own initial assessment of him had led her to the same conclusion, but she knew that was unfair. She should not judge him based on the turmoil she had sensed in his heart then, but she could not dismiss it, either.

**A/N: Well, isn't that special. Sesshomaru and Inuyasha have made a little more progress in their relationship. Sesshomaru has taken the responsibility to ask Inuyasha to be his general. Maybe having his own castle is not such a bad thing after all. But will Inuyasha accept? **

**But what about the hidenka? Clearly, Sesshomaru does not really want to be her protector, but he is an honorable youkai, and would not push aside his obligations. But the hidenka was a bit foolish to send both of her handmaidens away. You don't just wake up from a near death experience and think everything will be okay, do you? Why did she do that? Was she really so afraid for their safety in Sesshomaru's castle? Does she really see him as that evil? If so, then she certainly wouldn't want someone she's afraid of as her protector, would she?**

**Akatsuki - (Aurora/Dawn)  
baka - (idiot)  
chichi-ue - (father)  
daiyoukai - (great demon)**

**hidenka - (princess)  
Kenjutsu - (sword fighting)  
youkai - (demon)**


	28. Chapter 28 Edera's Objective

**Sesshomaru & Inuyasha: Brothers in Arms  
Sesshomaru & Inuyasha: Kyōdai de Busō**

Shō 28-Edera's Hōshin  
Chapter 28-Edera's Objective

Over the next couple of days, after checking with the hidenka to ensure that having additional bodies in the castle would not unduly affect her; the youkai lord proceeded to procure a handful of youkai housekeepers as well as two cooks to alleviate Rin's responsibilities. As it turned out, between her, Inuyasha and Jaken, she had been the only one who could adequately prepare a meal sufficiently tasteful enough for the others to stomach. Properly prepared food was an essential aspect of caring for everyone in the castle. Despite having no personal interest in such issues, the youkai lord knew he had never eaten human food and required the intake of fresh nutrients only once a month. He would likely transform in a day or so, and devour a live animal for that purpose.

He was surprised, but pleased that the hanyou had accepted his proposal.

As the hidenka continued to improve, Sesshomaru evaluated his position. The youkai lord found himself wondering if he would be compelled to follow in his chichi-ue's path in more directions than he had previously considered. Would he find himself staying away from the castle as much as possible, or could he possibly make some form of connection with the youkai he was obligated to protect; not to mention, all the additional characters that would soon be scurrying about.

Knowing he had only a passing knowledge of the abilities of his protectee, Sesshomaru also knew he was fascinated by how she had managed to restore his brother to life. Resigning himself to his curiosity, he yielded to his desire to learn more and had questioned her about exactly how the abilities of a life sorceress worked.

Though uncertain about his true motives for knowing such things, Akatsuki repeated what she had previously explained then added a few additional details, but Sesshomaru still had a sense that she had not told him everything. He believed those abilities were difficult for her to deal with. He, himself, could not imagine what it had been like to share a soul with his erratic half-brother for so many years. For her to continuously subject herself to that for the sake of other youkai, seemed inconceivable; especially since she said she had to undergo a time consuming and strenuous tsunagari hitokugiri purging ritual for her own sanity. But he questioned her no further on it, as she moved to further details regarding the connection she had shared with the hanyou.

In the case of his brother, Akatsuki explained that she had not had the ceremony performed since he had been sealed to a tree when she had initially touched him, and at that time, he had no seeable future. As for her ability to restore him to life, she indicated she had the ability to restore any injured youkai to health, but although she had never tried it, she also had the ability to provide his brother with some of her own life giving energy. She did admit, though that she had been unaware her own life force would be sucked out of her until there was nothing she could do to stop it.

Lowering her eyes briefly, Akatsuki remembered something she had been considering during her few hours of lucidness that she wanted to discuss with him. "Sesshomaru," she began as she looked up at him; reflecting on calling him by his name without his honorary title, still slightly uncomfortable about doing that. "Do you recall when I first awoke; I told you there was something I needed to tell you about Princess Edera?"

"She is dead. I have no further interest in that youkai," Sesshomaru said rather sternly, then noticed the surprised concern in her eyes. "But if there is something you wish to reveal to me, by all means," he said, realizing that he had ignored her advice once before, which was likely the primary reason she had been injured so. He refused to be the cause of discomfort to her again.

Akatsuki admitted that for the past few days, she has since thought about that night, and believed Princess Edera had actually utilized more than just simple hell-bound dark magic. She began by saying she remembered what she had thought when she had initially begun her transformation.

"What you thought?"

"Yes," she said looking at him intently. "During that battle, I thought the reason I could not read Princess Edera's heart's intent was because of the hell-bound magic surrounding her; but I now realize it was more than that."

"More?" Returning her gaze, Sesshomaru was pleased to see the look of life beginning to sparkle in her clear blue eyes once again.

"Unfortunately," Akatsuki began, looking away briefly, uncomfortable with his determined examination of her. "I allowed you to go into battle without critical information," she said, knowing this meant her lord would finally know that everything that had happened was her own fault.

"Critical information," the youkai lord pondered her words. She had told him about Edera and her connection to hell-bound magic as well as her errtu. What could be more critical than that?

"I did not know it then, but when I saw her transforming; she looked like..."

Sesshomaru furrowed his brows as he waited.

"I believe she was a Suzaku."

"A Suzaku?" the youkai lords thoughts immediately flew back to the events of that night.

"Those wings," Akatsuki began to explain; once more seeing Princess Edera's transformation as if it were happening in front of her this very moment. "Those were Suzaku wings; but she did not completely transform to a Suzaku. That monstrosity was likely a combination of all the souls she had devoured."

Sesshomaru recalled now, that for a brief moment, he, himself had essentially had the same thoughts, but his had concluded with the fact that Edera had devoured the soul of the hidenka's sister. "But Akatsuki, can you be certain, you did say that Edera had devoured..."

"Those wings were not because of my sister," Akatsuki explained. "I believe Princess Edera was one of the more ancient Suzaku clan members."

The youkai lord remembered something he had not thought about since that first night. "Akatsuki, if I may be so bold," he hesitated slightly as he lowered his gaze for an instant. "When I undressed you, I noticed you had no heritage markers. That means you are not an obake, does it not?"

"No, I am not," she said reaching up and clasping the top of her kimono closer to her chest. "And neither was my sister. We cannot transform. That is why I know those wings were not because of her."

Noticing her discomfort, Sesshomaru immediately responded. "It was not my intent to make you uncomfortable," he said studying her. "You told me you would suffer no embarrassment to have me look upon your flesh."

"Yes," she said attempting to regain her composure as she slowly lowered her hands and clasped the bedding a little snugger, shifting her gaze away from his golden eyes. "But I am a female, you are my lord. I suppose my brashness was simply an attempt to ensure your heart was uncluttered."

With understanding, the youkai lord pressed forward. "So what makes you think Edera was a Suzaku?"

"Why else would she have such wings?"

"Perhaps she devoured several other Suzaku," he tried to explain; failing to understand the significance even if she had not. "Her transformation abilities are the result of youkai souls she has devoured, is it not?"

"No, she did not devour a Suzaku to get those wings," the hidenka insisted. "I said I could not transform. In fact, no current living Suzaku member _can_transform. You would have to be extremely ancient to do that. And I do not believe it is even possible for any ancients who have lived these past 4500 years."

The youkai lord's golden eyes focused intently upon her features as he tried to grasp her meaning.

"I told you that as I slept, I had a sense that Lord Balthazar desired your power. I now believe I understand."

"You understand?"

"After that battle, when Princess Edera had taken you brother's life, I recall thinking that I had not sensed her hearts intent," she stated thoughtfully as she again drifted back to those events. "And I was stunned that I could not. If I had known her plans, I could have easily prevented it, or at least warned you," she said with a touch of anger lingering on the edges of her voice.

Sesshomaru wondered if her anger was for once more being unable to prevent Edera from carrying out her wishes, as she had done when she had taken the life of her younger sister. But even so, what did that truly matter? "How would my knowing that Edera was a Suzaku have changed the outcome?"

"I think it was more what I could not do," she began, believing that now he would understand that he was not indebted to her.

"What you could not do?" Sesshomaru queried as he continued studying her. "I do not understand."

"I could not sense her heart's intent," Akatsuki repeatedly regrettably. "As a life sorceress, if my abilities are not otherwise shutdown, there are four conditions under which I am unable to sense a youkai's heart," she continued with more calm in her demeanor. "If they are my handmaidens; if their thoughts involve me on a ... personal level; if I am on a level of familiarity with them; or if they are," she paused as she looked into his eyes, "another life sorceress."

She explained that she believed now that Princess Edera was truly intimately connected to hell bound dark magic. It had indeed required a lot of power to bring her down in such a manner. If she truly was a Suzaku life sorceress, that could mean only one thing. Princess Edera had clearly made a pact with the demon lord of the Netherlands since she had in some small way maintained her transformation abilities.

_Have you told your lord about the perils he will face when he meets my errtu? Or have you come to rejoin your true family at last?_

He remembered when Edera had said that. Is that what she meant when she said true family?

He now wondered if Edera's plans were to torment Akatsuki as much as himself. Why else would she have said such a thing? Why would she have devoured Akatsuki's younger sister's soul? Even if Akatsuki did not know, Edera would have known they were kinsmen. Why would she do such a thing to a fellow kinsman?

Akatsuki surmised that Princess Edera had not completely transformed to the true Suzaku form because she could not. Her transformation had only been a result of the pact she had likely made with Lord Balthazar to keep some aspect of that ability. She explained that while she slept, she had sensed Princess Edera's objective was to obtain his power for the demon lord's sake, but she had been uncertain. But now, she believed the truth of it.

"Why is that?"

"Because I believe her intent was to ensure you went to hell to retrieve your brother's soul. "

"But I had no thoughts of such a thing. Why would she think that I would?"

Akatsuki did not immediately respond. "Because she would have known that I would likely have told you. As a life sorceress, I am capable of opening a path to the meidou," she said hesitantly, trying to sort through the logic of it all. "I also know that a body's soul hovers in the meidou until it is consumed by the darkness, which would have given you sufficient time. The only thing that would have prevented your brother's soul from returning to his body, were his wounds, and I could have easily healed him."

"But Akatsuki, you were nearly killed in reviving him," Sesshomaru said experiencing his own guilt behind what had happened and not wanting her to experience any guilt over not having been able to sense Edera's true purpose. It would have made no difference because with what _had_happened, his acts still left him obligated to her. "If that truly was Edera's plan, why would she try to kill you before any of that occurred? Besides, my sword did not work."

"My life in this matter was unimportant. And you forget, I said your brother's soul was connected to my soul. That means he never entered the meidou and so I had no occasion to consider other possibilities. Princess Edera's intent may well have been to take my life after I healed his body and opened the path to the meidou, but I believe more gradually," Akatsuki continued thoughtfully. "In restoring your brother's soul, I expended a great deal of youki, which in essence, rushed that process. And as for your sword not working, it likely would have worked in the meidou."

"Why do you believe that?"

"As I said, I have already sensed your swords life giving force," she said, looking at the swords at his hips. "It is a sword of heaven. Once inside the meidou, there are no minions you would be unable to cut down, dark magic or not."

"But what would be her goal in achieving such a thing?"

"Once there, you would have been at Lord Balthazar's mercy. But she did not know that my connection to the young master held him here. She did not know I would provide my own life force to revive him. I am certain the magic she used brought me down, but its intent was likely not meant to be so rapid."

Sesshomaru considered it. Her words were quite probably accurate. Once in the meidou, he would have likely seen the minions of hell. Since his ultimate objective was to save the hanyou's life, he would have indeed entered it, to do just that. He believed he understood why she had told him this, but in truth, her revelation had the exact opposite effect. She held less guilt in this than she realized. This was more a statement of his own desire to rush to action. If he had obtained more knowledge of his intended target, he would never have allowed the hidenka to accompany him at all.  
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Sesshomaru knew he was spending an inordinate amount of time at Akatsuki's bedside; but it was only appropriate, was it not? He was obligated to become her protector, so it was only suitable that he ensure her well-being now. But was he in truth spending such levels of time with her for other reasons? She had awakened only a few days before, but that had been a surprise in itself. Her own handmaidens had expected her to sleep for an additional week or more, but she had shown a great deal of strength when she had awakened so rapidly; a strength and determination of spirit this daiyoukai could appreciate. But the youkai lord knew that the hidenka was not at all yet well. The very night she had awakened, she had lapsed, once more, into an unnatural sleep. He had been able to attend her then, but he had no idea whether that condition would reoccur, and she had already risked her life once; he had no intention of allowing her to fall further into jeopardy.

As the amount of time they spent together steadily increased after continuing a similar routine of sitting and talking with her over the next few days, at one point the youkai lord had departed Akatsuki's bedroom with an uncomfortable understanding. Even though he was not quite comfortable with the planned changes in his life, he realized he was _not_uncomfortable in her presence, which left him a little perplexed considering his obligation. He had found they had been able to spend hours talking about all manner of subjects and he realized he enjoyed sitting with her, talking to her, listening to her, caring for her, even watching her sleep.

Now, with his head filled with puzzling questions, Sesshomaru wandered off to the onsen in the early hours of the morning to have a quite bath after watching the hidenka slip into a restful sleep. He wanted to think-no, he needed to think. He had come to realize that in talking with Akatsuki, there were not the constant battles he had with his half-brother, nor the useless questions he endured from Jaken, neither did her words contain the frivolous laughter of Rin. It was not that he did not enjoy those events in their own rights, but for whatever reason, he realized he enjoyed his conversations with Akatsuki more. The youkai lord could not help but think that becoming her protector would perhaps not be such a despicable thing after all.

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**A/N: ****Oh so is that what Sesshomaru meant when he said he does not eat human food! Well I'm glad he doesn't eat rats like Rin had brought to him in the manga when he told her that. He must have thought she was funny. Maybe that's why he saved her! But what about the hidenka? Does she do the same? No, wait, she can't transform, so maybe her diet is completely different.**

**Okay, so the hidenka is accepting full responsibility. If she had been able to sense Edera's heart, then things wouldn't have turned out the way they had. Does that mean after he's had time to think, Sesshomaru will see things from her perspective and everyone will be happy?**


	29. Chapter 29 Something Stirs

**Sesshomaru & Inuyasha: Brothers in Arms  
Sesshomaru & Inuyasha: Kyōdai de Busō**

**Shō 29-Nantoka Fuki**  
**Chapter 29-Something Stirs**

Having slept for nearly three hours, the hidenka awoke pleased that sleep was no longer consuming her as it had previously, yet fully aware that she was still sleeping frequently during the day, but hoped that if she went out, perhaps she could eliminate that need as well.

Feeling she finally had the ability to stand on her own two feet, Akatsuki rose from her bed, dressed in one of her traditional kimono's that were brought to her by her handmaidens, and decided to go for a walk. She also placed her bathing skirt on underneath it, hoping for the strength to go for a swim at some point. She could only thank Bathera for remembering to throw one in the bag before they left the compound. Her handmaidens knew her so well; but what did she expect? They had attended her from the day she was born.

Knowing there was little chance of her inadvertently sensing the youkai lord's heart after six days of becoming familiar with him, Akatsuki removed the incantation spell that had sealed her powers. Without that unnecessary barrier, she should be able to heal faster; or, at least she hoped she would. With everyone likely asleep now, and she, herself, unable to do the same and feeling only slightly stronger than she had when she had first awakened, the youkai hidenka decided to make her way outside the castle and headed toward a nearby lake she had seen from her window.

She knew in order to minimize the inconvenience she was placing on her lord and host that she needed to quickly build up her strength if she were to have any chance of leaving by the end of the week, which was only four days away. Akatsuki knew she was beginning to have puzzling thoughts about the youkai lord that were inappropriate as far as she was concerned; thoughts that had started, even before she had awakened. She was in such conflict over what she had sensed while she slept. There was so much hatred that had surrounded her; and then there had also been so much concern. But that concern itself, was filled with such conflict.

Yes, she was having thoughts about Sesshomaru, but knowing who and what he was, she was certain he did not have the same kind of thoughts about her. She did not want to think about what she may or may not have sensed while she slept. Slept? She was not simply asleep; she was near death. Her soul hovered just outside the realm of the netherworld. Ashira had already told her that in her weakened state, they had neither severed her connection from what they had believed was the hanyou's soul, but in fact had actually been her lord's; nor had they shut down her sensors until the fifth day. It could not be done until Sesshomaru had destroyed the ningyou youkai and her body had grown stronger. Because of that, she had sensed untold emotions from him; most of which surprisingly seemed so contradictory to his current behavior towards her.

But why would she have thought she sensed any kind of concern from Sesshomaru of all youkai, at all? She knew how much he hated magic, hated sorceresses. She had sensed his hatred from the beginning. She had sensed it fully while she slept. That was one of the primary reasons she had sent her handmaidens away. As long as she remained in that bed, she could not protect them. Though she doubted she would be able to protect them from their lord even if she were not. But she knew she could not allow them to endure his hatred for her sake. And he must hate her even more now, believing it was his obligation to ensure her recovery. But now that her thoughts were clearer and she had surmised and divulged the likely truth, she knew he need no longer concern himself with her.

No, Akatsuki smiled softly, she could not truly have sensed any concern from him. It had to have been the dark magic that surrounded this castle that made her think such a thing. Or, at the very least, it was because her very soul hovered on the brink of departure from this world. She was fully aware that the soul knew of its own demise, weeks, likely even months before its departure. In her life, she had sensed enough souls to know of their impending deaths. But her sensors had never been the most reliable under uncertain conditions. As for herself, she must have wanted so desperately to believe someone near her cared if she lived or died; even if it _was_Sesshomaru.

Straightening her shoulders as she trudged heavily toward the lake, Akatsuki knew her lord was a youkai who could care for no one; and she was a Suzaku life sorceress. That itself, told her how ridiculous such thoughts were. Sesshomaru was too much like her first generation father must have been. He did not love. He did not know how to. It was because of her first generation parents that the Suzaku clan was now cursed. But she should not say that. She did not look at her touch as a curse. It was a gift. An unusual one for youkai, but a gift all the same. It enabled her to help other youkai and that is what she would do; even if it broke her heart in the process.

Nearing the lake, the hidenka decided that she would no longer think such thoughts about her lord. Her destiny was to love and be loved. Sesshomaru's was not. He was a warrior, and that was his right. But he was spending too much time with her. Yes, she knew he was doing that because of her health, but having probably never cared for anyone in such a manner, she was certain he had no idea that his extremely attentive care was wreaking havoc with her head, and possibly even her heart. She would not concern herself with whether she believed he had ever _wanted_to care for anyone, because she knew enough about his heart as well as his innate desires to know better. He was the lord of the western and now southern lands; he would have had no reason to care. Everyone in his lands would simply bow to his will.

Removing her kimono, Akatsuki decided it was best to go for a swim to try to help strengthen her muscles, her body and hopefully her mind. She was still several days away from acceptable recovery, but she had no desire to impose on her host any longer than necessary and was determined to speed things up. She was certain Sesshomaru would only see her as someone with whom he needed to fulfill an obligation-an obligation she could never accept.

Unknown to the youkai hidenka, however, her planned swimming escapade was observed with a great deal of interest from one of the castle windows. Despite the fact that the lake was quite some distance away, her observer, had excellent sight. Having heard her faint movements, the youkai lord had approached his window as he dressed after leaving the onsen, in search of potential intruders. Now, though, he found himself perplexed by the amount of attention he paid to her as he continued to linger.

Had her health improved so? But no, that could not be, her health was still much deteriorated even a few hours earlier. But why had she left the castle without first informing him? Surely she was aware that her safety was his to ensure.

As the kimono the hidenka wore, slipped from her arms, Sesshomaru's breadth caught as he observed her dive into the water. She was adorned in an outfit not too dissimilar from what she had worn beneath the hebikinu he had removed when he had undressed her. This outfit, although similar in function, seemed considerably less than that one; probably because she was outside in it for all to see. But he had seen her bathing under a waterfall with no attire at all. Why did she seem that much more enticing now?

He had never seen such an outfit. Was this something worn by all females, or was this a custom of the Suzaku clan only? What she wore now, just barely covered the vital parts of her body. The bottom part was a lace covering that circled her waist and ended just below her well defined hips, accentuating the long sleek lines of her legs, while the top curved softly around and held her breasts firmly in place; short sleeves draped across her shoulder to secure the garment as it held her.

_I'm not going to say she's not beautiful, because she is._

The hanyou had said she was beautiful, but he had said the same thing about Princess Edera. Sesshomaru did not understand that; such a statement spoke not of her abilities or her fire power. It told nothing of her strength or her ability to kill. It spoke not of her nature, as was evident as regarded Edera. It told only of her physical appearance, but most high-level youkai females were not displeasing to look at.

But surprisingly, the youkai lord agreed, even more surprising was how quickly and easily he did. But she was, in fact beautiful even to his normally disinterested eyes. He had seen youkai of all colorings during his years. But he could not recall ever seeing such beauty; a combination of firmness and roundness in the most interesting places. But he had never allowed himself to be struck by such a thing. He had never allowed himself to be struck by anything. He wondered if his willingness to acknowledge it now, was due to his deep rooted knowledge that whether he did or not, did not truly matter. He could do nothing but accept the fact that whether he would wish something different, his acts had placed this youkai under his care. He could not determine if he hated that thought more because she was so beautiful, or because it was his acts that caused her to be in the weakened state that still currently possessed.

Sesshomaru's gaze now fixed on all of the hidenka's features as he watched her moving rhythmically along the water. All parts of her body seemed to be in perfect sink as her long, sleek, golden brown arms dipped and rose in line with her firm legs and her face appeared and disappeared repeatedly against the cool, blue water. He continued to watch as she dove beneath then flipped and repeated her movements in the opposite direction. His heart, though, nearly stopped briefly when he observed her fumble beneath the surface. Her weakened strength had clearly caused her to lose stamina, but before the youkai lord could react, he noticed that she had apparently uttered some form of enchantment, as he saw the water rise up, lifting her sleek form and propelling her toward the lower edges of the water. Despite her desperate attempts to catch her breath, the youkai lord had to admit as he watched her, that she did indeed appear enticing in such clothing.

_This cannot be, I will not allow it_, Sesshomaru scowled silently to himself; spinning away, shock covering his usually placid face. He had changed - this much he knew - but could he have possibly changed that much he wondered. No. He should be above such ridiculous thoughts he fumed internally, but obviously he was not. But even so, he would not allow himself to be distracted by such insignificant details. He was literally appalled to find he had lowered himself so, as he moved away hoping he had gone unnoticed. No, he was no more endeared to magic than he had previously been, but he was grateful that her fortitude had allowed her to save herself. He knew not what turmoil he would have to undergo if she had once more suffered while under his watch.

But even so, there was no need to be overly concerned with her, he needed only to fulfill his duty, and he would do that. It was his obligation. But tell himself that as much as he wanted, there was an ache in his chest he could neither remove, nor explain. He felt like he was turning into his hanyou half-brother with such insipid confusion pounding through his head and the odd sensation that tugged at his chest. Once again, those repetitive questions haunted the uneasy corners of his mind.

_Sesshomaru, why do you seek power?  
Do you have something to protect?_

He wondered.

Almost like an invitation for further torment, Sesshomaru shortly heard Akatsuki's voice, and he found himself once again peering through the opened window in nothing less than stunned surprise. She was now floating on her back in the middle of the lake, moving her arms to pull herself along, and she was singing-no, not singing, humming. A soft melodic hum emanated from her throat. Who was this youkai? He wondered. He did not understand her. She was unlike any youkai he had ever known. She wore clothing he had never seen. She contained so much fire power within her body, yet she was not a warrior. Her life was not about killing and conquering. Her life was about..., he did not truly know. But she ignited a memory he was certain he did not wish to explore.

His mother had sung to him when he was no more than a child, a rare display of her compassion; but this youkai was not his mother; she was... his obligation. But still, a youkai that hummed? The thought was as puzzling as the sound was captivating. And he listened, unable to turn away as easily and quickly as he had done before.

Unexpectedly, the youkai lord found himself listening to Akatsuki's melody. He felt his mind slipping through memories he thought were long forgotten; and he closed his eyes. He had never enjoyed returning to the past. He was not a youkai who reminisced. He had never thought there was any point. To return to days long gone had always brought back memories he had no desire to explore. But this time he saw himself when he was a very young youkai, no older than ... what? One?

He had recently learned how to fly, and had been misbehaving by flying inside the castle, but had been unable to stop himself and hit a wall, skinning his forehead. Sesshomaru now recalled as firm hands lifted him to her chest. "I warned you about flying inside the castle, Sesshomaru," the soft, non-chastising voice had said. Wrapping his arms around her neck, he had half pouted, as he fingered his forehead. "It hurts haha-ue," he had said almost piteously.

His haha-ue had smiled tolerantly as she began to sing a tune that seemed to match Akatsuki's melody, then she had planted a gentle kiss and slid her tongue slowly across his wound; softly blowing her breath to seal it and ease the pain. Sesshomaru smiled softly to himself. Whenever he had thought of days past, it had centered on his chichi-ue and the lessons he had taught him. Never had he allowed himself to consider memories surrounding his haha-ue. She was an inu youkai, but she had never behaved as a true warrior. She had never trained with them, never traveled with them, never killed with them. He had always considered her soft; a characteristic he had never favored, but now...soft..., he wondered.

_Akatsuki._

When he had first seen her, she looked like a warrior; but now, she too seemed soft. But it was a softness that touched him in some way. He had never considered that he, the lord of the western lands, would be indebted to another youkai in such a manner. If he had ever thought about it, he would have assumed he would simply have chosen a female warrior to be his mate. But this youkai was... different. She was not a warrior, but he had scented the fire power in her blood. He had even seen it with his own eyes. But her inability to transform, clearly said she possessed no warrior skills, despite her power. Why would a breed of youkai who contained such power not be warriors?

Opening his eyes, the youkai lord's vision remained fixated as he observed the hidenka unabashedly. She possessed a freedom of spirit he had never really known, he thought, as he watched her once more dive, then spring up from the depths of the lake as the water sluiced rapidly down her frame. Finally, she stood and he continued to observe as she snapped her head back to whip the water from her white locks. He continued watching as she lifted her arms to squeeze more water from her hair then released it allowing it to curl to wet ringlets around her face and dangle softly about her shoulders. With his heart pace increasing, the youkai lord scowled angrily once more. What was happening to him? Never had he felt so much churning inside his own body. Never had his heart thumped so loudly.

There was something intriguing about her, and he knew not why. In many ways, she seemed soft, but she was not. But he had no need for soft. She had the power of a warrior, but again, she was not. She was like the combination of two worlds trapped in her very being, and he believed it was this conflict that he wished to explore. He wondered, was this resistance to do that because of her soft nature, or because of his unwanted obligation.

Why was he watching her so intently, Sesshomaru wondered as he found himself considering that her garment concealed little from the imagination as it sculpted itself slickly along her slender thighs. Despite his knowledge that he should simply turn away, he continued to watch, as she spread a towel along the ground and took a seat upon it.

Continuing his observations, the youkai lord amazed as a furry squirrel seemed to appear from nowhere and rushed toward her, settling itself gently in her outstretched palm. It was almost as if it had been called to her, like it knew the free spirit of the youkai whose palm it sat upon. For just a brief instant, Sesshomaru _almost_wished that he too could experience such closeness.

Turning away finally, the youkai lord instinctively reached for and slipped his haramaki across his shoulders, wondering whether there was any true wisdom in carrying out his planned thoughts. Was there truly any wisdom in him joining the hidenka, or was he simply no more than a baka for even thinking such a thing? Clearly he did not wish her to be alone and unguarded, it _was_his responsibility to be her protector; but is that truly why he was considering joining her now, or was it something else?

He had seen her do things he had never seen a warrior do. He had seen her strength in her fire power, but he had also seen her softness in her tears; he had seen her swim - literally enjoying it, despite her continued weakness. But she had also sung as if she derived genuine pleasure from such menial acts. Who was this youkai who stirred such unacceptable uncertainty in him, he wondered?

Fighting a thought he would never have considered seriously possible; Sesshomaru could not help but think that he just might be turning into his chichi-ue; a youkai that might have foolishly cared for one of his mates. Incapable of denying it, he found himself struggling against the mood that suddenly befell him; a mood that was extremely unbecoming of one on the level of a youkai lord - puzzled and befuddled levels of confusion.

Nearing the castle's formal exit, Sesshomaru practically ran smack into the hanyou, as he raced toward the door in preparation for his training session with Rin.

"Where is Rin?" The youkai lord asked, surprised to see the hanyou racing off alone as he came to a stop, stoning his facial expression, unwilling to allow the hanyou to detect his levels of uncertainty; which he suspected was in full bloom.

"In the Daidokoro with Amaya," Inuyasha responded stopping in front of the exit way. "Think she and Jaken are helping with the dishes, or some such silliness. She'll probably meet me outside in a couple of minutes," he smiled slightly as he recalled the scene he'd just left, then turned to face the youkai lord. "You know that little kid sure can twist that crazy imp around her fingers," he declared. "She actually had him feeling guilty about leaving the housekeeper to clean up by herself, would you believe that?" he asked with a broad grin. "I don't even know why she bothers to call him master at all. She says jump and I'm surprised he doesn't just say 'how high'!"

Sesshomaru did not immediately respond; he simply turned his head in the direction of the Daidokoro; though his thoughts remained focused on the exterior of the castle. "Jaken knows if he does not assist her, he will have me to answer to."

Inuyasha studied him. His brother was wearing his haramaki. He didn't usually wear it inside. In fact, the last time he had worn it at all, was during that battle with Princess Edera. Was he going out? "Are you off to battle or something?"

"No, I…" Sesshomaru faltered with more uncertainty about a logical response.

"How is the hidenka?"

"Better," the youkai lord said as he refocused his attention upon the hanyou.

"I see she's finally up and out," Inuyasha stated, having seen her when she departed two hours earlier. "You spend a lot of time with her," he stated rather off handedly.

"She is still unwell. It is not my wish to leave her untended," Sesshomaru offered defensively. "She is away from her family," he responded further, fully aware of the hanyou's persistence in providing questions, and feeling he had not adequately responded, he added. "Considering my obligation, it is best that we become familiar, is it not?"

Inuyasha though, thought his brother was providing too many unnecessary excuses. "Whoa, I was just asking," he lifted his palms defensively. "But since you're in the mood to talk, can I ask you something," he asked rather quietly. He knew he would be invading the youkai lord's privacy, and maybe he had hopes that it would ease his own guilt, but for some other reason, he couldn't help but wonder if maybe he'd give him something to think about that he probably hadn't. "Are you beginning to... you know.., care for her?"

"Ridiculous," Sesshomaru responded almost a little too quickly. "I am simply trying to build an understanding between us."

"Oh," Inuyasha shrugged as he turned to exit, but not before noticing what appeared to be a slightly odd glint in his brother's eyes. For some reason, he had a feeling he had hit a nerve, but decided he would simply let it go. "If you see Rin, tell her I'll be outside in our usual spot."

Sesshomaru did not respond. There was so much that remained unsettled in his own mind. He had never truly cared for anyone in the way his brother was asking, and surely the hanyou knew as much. He had formed a bond of sorts with Kagura, and in the end, he had cared for her in his own way; but he did not recall such confusion in his mind. Was it because he knew he was _obligated_to become this youkai's protector and did not wish to be in such a position and thus could not yet accept it.

He had no idea, but the youkai lord watched as the hanyou exited the castle and decided to rethink his intentions. There was no reason to seek out the hidenka. She would return eventually. For him, it was likely best that he simply returned to his room.  
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Moving toward a group of trees, Akatsuki changed clothes with the intent of returning to the castle, finally. Her swimming efforts had seemed beneficial. Though she was clearly weakened and had grown rather tired at the end, she could not help but believe that her body was on the mend. A few more days, and she hoped she would be fine.

Just as the hidenka finished tying her obi around her waist, she sensed an overwhelmingly powerful demonic aura. Other than the power of her lord, she had never before, sensed a power of this magnitude. But this power felt so incredibly and utterly evil, so all consuming. Clutching at her chest, Akatsuki could barely stand the agony it caused as she turned sharply, searching for, but saw no one and nothing. But that evil aura seemed to be everywhere; surrounding her, crushing the life from her very being. Just as she whipped her head around, she saw it, from the corner of her eye - a ningyou youkai rising from the very grounds itself; wrapping the earth around itself as it transformed to a living breathing youkai and the hidenka's flesh suddenly turned cold.

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**A/N: Finally, the hidenka is up and out and everyone is settling down to castle living? It is clear the youkai lord wants nothing much to do with the hidenka, but how does Sesshomaru really feel with so many people underfoot? But surprisingly, it's not love at first sight for the hidenka either. They both have their preset notions. And sweet Rin does what Rin always wants to do—help—even if she's helping the housekeeper.**

**But wait, what is this confusion that's circling the air? Don't people know what they want anymore?**

**Cursed? What curse?**

Akatsuki - (Aurora/Dawn)  
baka - (idiot)  
chichi-ue - (father)  
Daidokoro - (kitchen)  
haha-ue - (mother)  
haramaki - (armor)  
hebikinu – (youkai snake skin)  
hidenka - (princess)  
ningyou youkai - (puppet demons)  
onsen - (public hot spring water bathing room)  
tsunagari hitokugiri - (connection break)


	30. Chapter 30 Surprise Attack

**A/N: Okay, this is an early update and I still hope to update again on Sunday. Hope you enjoy.**

**Sesshomaru & Inuyasha: Brothers in Arms  
Sesshomaru & Inuyasha: Kyōdai de Busō**

Shō 30- Ihyō Raishū  
Chapter 30-Surprise Attack

Turning back in the direction of his bedroom, Sesshomaru continued to puzzle over the levels of confusion currently overwhelming him. Only once had he experienced anything even remotely similar. That was shortly after Kagura had died. Initially, he had thought his anger was simply because she had literally pleaded with him to free her from that vermin's control but he had not. But then, he'd had no desire to become anyone's protector. She had done nothing to warrant such protection and he knew not why she had sought him out for that purpose. But he had assumed it was because she was an incarnation and knew not of youkai rules or obligations. That parasite Naraku would have told her nothing; if he himself knew anything. But clearly, that mattered not since he was not honorable.

He had later thought it was the arrogance of that Mouryoumaru who had so blatantly triumphed over her demise. It was not until sometime afterward, that he had acknowledged to himself, that it was more than that. After constant exposure to her, he had, in fact, become intrigued by her feisty innocence and had actually learned to care for her. But he had never acknowledged that to her or anyone, except just barely to the hanyou.

Was that what he was doing now? Denying a fact? But no, Akatsuki was not someone he cared for, was she? No, she was no more than his obligation. Someone he was compelled to protect, whether he wished it or not. But he did not wish to protect her any more than he had wished to protect Kagura. But then, why, over the past weeks, had he spent so much time at her bedside? Why had he allowed her to consume his thoughts? Was it because she also intrigued him in some way? Other than his obligation to protect her, she should mean nothing to him. She _meant_ nothing to him. And yet, those words did nothing to explain away the confusion that tormented his very soul. And that, was something he did not understand.

Despite his uncertainty, the youkai lord reconsidered his planned retreat; knowing so little about the potential threats in this area, he could not fulfill his obligation to protect the hidenka if he allowed her to be out of his sight. But he soon reconsidered once more; he could as easily tell her that when she returned to the castle as he could if he sought her out. No, there was no need to seek her out now.

"Nagisa rai," the words rang briskly through the air.

Sesshomaru froze. Akatsuki's voice was unmistakable. She was using her water command was she not; why? Turning quickly toward the castle's exit, the youkai lord immediately heard the hanyou's roaring kaze ni kizu cry resounding through the air. Was someone attacking? Was the hanyou...? Without further thought, Sesshomaru was outside in an instant.

Emerging on the exterior of the castle, he snapped his head toward the direction of the voices and was immediately stunned as he caught sight of the hidenka crumbled to the ground. The hanyou stood above her with sword in hand. But Sesshomaru knew instinctively that events could not be as blatantly obvious as they appeared. _No, that hanyou would not have dared..._ But that realization did nothing to quell the anger rising inside of him. Without another thought, the youkai lord left his feet and rushed toward them.

"Inuyasha, what happened?" Sesshomaru blared his demand half way to their position, his fangs glistening angrily as he studied the hanyou's sword drawn to its attack position. Just in front of him, he could see the ground, wet and saturated as a likely result of Akatsuki's water sorcery, along with the obvious gouges and gashes marring it from the hanyou's kaze ni kizu attack; but there was no evidence or scent of any other souls that could have led to such an event.

"I don't know what the hell that shit was," the hanyou exclaimed looking down at a massive clump of mud and what looked like a mixture of broken, wet clay a short distance away from them.

Narrowing his gaze, Sesshomaru knelt on one knee beside the hidenka; a myriad of thoughts coursing through his head. The first of which was that he had not been at her side. "Akatsuki, are you damaged? What has happened?"

"No, I am not. I was attacked! But I believe I used my fire power too soon," she breathed out choppily as she looked up at him, a stunned glint saturating her eyes. "It has drained my strength; but thankfully your brother was near," she gasped.

"Attacked?" Sesshomaru repeated with alarm coating his words. Turning momentarily toward the hanyou, he then quickly scoured the area. "By whom?" he demanded, rising to his feet and grasping the tsuka of his Bakusaiga, preparing to strike back.

"That shit right there," Inuyasha declared, pointing the blade of his sword toward the clump of mud that only a few minutes before appeared to be a living breathing youkai.

"What?" the youkai lord bellowed as he rose and moved toward the wet ground then stared at what looked very much like the remains of those errtu they had slaughtered. "Is that an... errtu?"

"No, it was a reformed ningyou youkai." Akatsuki breathed out softly.

"Ningyou youkai? But I destroyed them," Sesshomaru declared

Seeing his puzzled anger as she studied him, Akatsuki responded quickly. "No, this one was buried," she said attempting to contain the anger in her own voice. She had no desire for her lord to experience even more guilt as it related to her. It was impossible for him to have known. "The ones you destroyed were likely easily visible."

"So what, does this mean this castle isn't safe?" Inuyasha asked, looking around uncertainly.

"No," Akatsuki responded almost breathlessly, as she tried to regain what strength she could. "We should be safe, but the grounds beneath the corners of the castle need to be checked."

"Beneath the grounds?" Sesshomaru and Inuyasha puzzled.

"Yes, it came to life by crawling out of the ground when I passed by," Akatsuki said, looking up, her hair partially shielding her eyes. "Any ningyou youkai found should be destroyed, otherwise..." her words trailed.

"Inuyasha," Sesshomaru called, turning toward the young hanyou.

"Yeah, I got it," he said, galloping off toward the nearest castle corner, sword still poised for attack.

"You said it came to life?" the youkai lord repeated, again kneeling beside her, as he refocused his attention on the downed hidenka.

"Yes, I sensed another's aura; it was being controlled by someone," she said reflectively, trying to determine whose aura it was she had sensed. "But I do not believe its intent was to kill me."

"Then why? And who do you believe would control it."

"Please, can you help get me away from here," Akatsuki pleaded as she struggled to her feet; her breath short and her heart racing from the unexpectedness of it all.

Sesshomaru slipped his left arm beneath her legs, careful not to snag his claws on the light kimono that now draped her body, then curled his other arm around her back.

"No, I just need to get away from here," she protested, feeling useless imposing on the youkai lord yet again. "I am capable of walking."

"Not necessary," Sesshomaru declared, ignoring her claims as he scooped her into his arms in the hopes of keeping her safe; pained by the deeper reality of what had just happened. If not for the hanyou, the hidenka would not be. Never before had his actions been guided by anyone or anything; but now, he had foolishly allowed them to be guided by some insane uncertainty and the hidenka had nearly paid for that in the process.

Never again, he vowed. Never again, would he allow himself to be overwhelmed by such foolishness. Such imprudent thoughts made one weak. He was not weak. Emotions blurred one's foresight. He did not need them. One's mind must be clear to uphold one's responsibility. He was obligated to protect her, and he would do that. He was a youkai of honor, and he would fulfill his obligation. There was no honor in allowing one's self to be overwhelmed by such foolish uncertainty.

"Sesshomaru, forgive me. It is not my intent to have you caring for me like some small child," Akatsuki said embarrassed, looking up into his eyes as she rested her hands lightly upon his chest; or more accurately, his haramaki. With the sensation of the hard, cold youkai bone beneath her fingertips, she looked down and frowned as she realized that her lord was a warrior through and through; dressed for battle at every turn. How could he live in such a manner, she wondered silently as she allowed her hands to slip to her sides. He was so unlike her own clan members. He likely never enjoyed life; he was probably always prepared for battle. But could she truly blame him, he was the lord of the western lands, and now, he was new to these lands, and to this castle, after all.

"Unimportant," Sesshomaru said looking down at her, noticing as her hands slipped stealthily away from his chest. Did she not realize that she was his responsibility? No, surely she did, but he assumed her continued reluctance to accept his assistance was a result of what she had likely heard of him; and then, her clan was not warriors. To her, he was likely a constant reminder of what her own clan lacked. "It is my responsibility to protect you," he said as he headed back toward the castle.

"No, it is not," Akatsuki responded shooting an angered voice toward him, but soon tempered her tone when she saw the sharp glare redirected at her. "I am sorry. I do not wish to go inside. I simply need air," she said looking around. Oh how he must hate her, she thought, for appearing so weak and helpless. One of her intents in coming out today was to show him she was getting stronger and thus, was in no need of a protector. But the unexpected appearance of that ningyou youkai had forced her to use so much of her fire power and drained her strength as a result, "Can you just take me to that tree?" She said pointing to a beautiful Japanese maple.

Sesshomaru looked up and spotted the tree she was referring to, "Should I not take you inside?" he asked growing angered that he had not yet removed that lingering uncertainty from his voice. "You may not be safe here," he added in his more stoically reserved tone.

"No, I can barely breathe and simply need air, but I do not believe another will appear," she said more in an attempt to convince herself. "That one was destroyed, and Master Inuyasha will destroy any others," she said looking back at the now lifeless clump of mud.

The youkai lord strolled slowly toward the tree, still apprehensive of the hidenka again being threatened, then sat her down on the soft, springy grass, before turning his gaze back to the area he had initially sighted her. "Whose aura did you sense, do you have knowledge?" he asked, his hand resting on the tsuka of his sword as he continued to survey the area. "Was he close?"

"I do not honestly know who or where he was. He was everywhere, around me, inside me."

Sesshomaru snapped his head toward her. "Inside...?"

"I meant only that his aura felt so powerful," she began to explain. She did not want him to believe she had inadvertently made a connection of some kind because of her weakened state. "It was as powerful as your aura when I initially sensed you, but I do not know where it came from."

"Why would that ningyou youkai have come to life?" Sesshomaru asked inadvertently centering his attention on the vibrant blue of her eyes; but he would not allow himself to focus on them as he quickly turned away.

"Dark magic," Akatsuki said, turning to concentrate on the area she had collapsed.

"Edera's?"

"No, someone else's," Akatsuki responded feeling a chill shoot up her spine. "Princess Edera may well have had them buried, but she is dead. Those youkai must be controlled by living beings."

"Do you believe it was this Balthazar you spoke about?"

"I do not rightly know," she said looking at him thoughtfully. She had no desire to give her lord her opinion. Such a thing held no value. He required only facts. She had gotten no sense of whose aura she felt only the level of his evil power. "But even if it was. He requires an instrument of control in our world. He cannot exit the demon lands. So it would matter not if he did."

In the distance, the castle glimmered brightly beneath the afternoon sun. It showed no signs of the succuvex that had once resided there. Though still relatively empty, small signs of life vibrated when Rin, followed closely by Jaken, set out in search of Inuyasha to begin her daily training session.

"Will they be safe?" Sesshomaru wondered out loud.

"Once the ningyou youkai are destroyed, they should be," Akatsuki responded following his gaze. She felt the uselessness of her existence. If not for her illness she could have been of great assistance to her lord these past weeks. "I am sorry, if I were stronger and had my sensors active all this time, I would have detected them, but..." But the world was filled with such irony. If she had not been injured she knew she would not be here to assist.

"Do not concern yourself," Sesshomaru said, studying her with a narrowed gaze, determined to hold on to his sense of detachment, as he unhooked and slipped his haramaki from his chest and laid it on the ground along with the swords at his hips. He told himself he had done that simply because he had grown accustomed to sitting without it these past months. It had nothing to do with that look in her eyes moments before she had slipped her hands from his chest. "That is something I should have known," he said dismissively, taking a seat beside her. "Are you especially susceptible to dark magic? Is that why your handmaidens enchanted the castle to protect you?" he wondered why he even cared.

"I am afraid so, perhaps more so than most youkai since I am a life sorceress."

"But as a sorceress, do you not deal with magic of all kind?"

"All except dark magic," she said, looking at him, realizing this was the first time he had asked a question that seemed to display an actual interest in her and not simply what she knew. But that was impossible. He would never. Such a thought was simply only her own foolish delusions. "I can block it with my barrier, but if I am unaware of a possible threat, it can literally bring me to my knees," she said, her thoughts immediately diverting to her younger sister and the last time she had seen her.

Yukiko had been so excited about going on her first solo sensing assignment. "That is what Princess Edera used when she drained my life force," Akatsuki said angrily, unable to focus her thoughts away from her sister. Her life had been filled with so many 'why's' since that day. Why had Yukiko begged her not to follow her? Why had she even made such a promise? Why had she simply not followed her anyway and ensured her safety? Why had she allowed her to go to the southern lands alone? After all this time, she still had no idea how her sister had crossed paths with Princess Edera. All she knew was that her mother had sensed her daughter's troubles. But after five days of searching, they had found no trace of her. And then Princess Edera had viciously sent one of her errtu to her mother to tell her that her daughter was gone.

"I should not have allowed that to happen," Akatsuki's anger, though still boiling within her was being overwhelmed by her sadness. "But when you had taken her life, I foolishly thought the threat was gone," her heart nearly broke within her as she considered that her refusal to utilize dark magic had nearly resulted in the loss of her young master as well. "I know I should have looked into it more after what happened to my sister, but I...," her words failed her as she closed her eyes.

Sesshomaru detected the slight scent of salt as her tears brimmed under her closed eyelids and slid slowly down her cheek. He grew angry with the realization that his question had caused her such pain. "You are youkai," he began. Despite his avowed determination to concern himself not with such trivialities, he felt overcome with a desire to erase whatever thought tortured her so. "Why do you cry?"

"Forgive me," she said, blinking and wiping traces of tears from her eyes. "I did not intend to offend you," she added as additional tears slipped down her cheek.

"You have not," Sesshomaru responded. "But I saw your tears before. You are not human, you are not even hanyou; and yet you cry," he said, fighting to restrain that uncertainty that once more seemed to overwhelm him. Without thinking, the youkai lord reflexively reached out, lightly brushing several strands of hair from her face, tucking them behind her ear, as he drew his clawed thumb, slowly down the side of her cheek to wipe away her tears.

Akatsuki uttered a soft, surprised gasp as she stared up at him with puzzled, confused eyes.

His chest tightening, Sesshomaru grew angry with himself as he stared into a pair of bewildered blue eyes, his own eyes also likely cloaked in perplexed confusion. He had done it and it was over before he'd even had an opportunity to think about it. Why had he done that? No, he did not wish to see her cry, but to do _that_. What was wrong with him? Had he done it because he had seen her in such distress numerous times during her recovery, and he had dried her tears then? But she was not now recovering. He need no longer nurse her. Without question, that act was an intrusion on her person; an... affectionate gesture. But why would he show _her_ such affection?

To do such a thing was beneath him. He had never before done anything without knowing exactly why; and never anything such as that. Such an indiscretion left him with no knowledge of what to say, or do. He had never been at such a loss.

Akatsuki also, apparently knew not what to do, as the air clanked awkwardly silent between them and her heart pace increased slightly. But the two quietly stared at each other and said nothing.

The time to apologize passed, but Sesshomaru was uncertain that apologizing was his desire. He knew not why he had done that, but he could not exactly say he regretted what he had done. He only knew he had always displayed nothing but aloofness in his daily interactions.

"I am a youkai yes," Akatsuki began as the sound of her voice softened the tenseness that had suddenly surrounded them. Clearly, that act meant nothing to him, so it should also mean nothing to her. "And I know in general, youkai do not cry so. I am not generally weak; but unlike most youkai I am also a life sorceress. And that must be my answer, my life has been unlike that of other youkai...," she did not continue as she shook her head to apparently dislodge the thoughts still crowding it. "At any rate, I truly had an emotional attachment and loved my younger sister very much. But I just get so angered when I think of how Princess Edera...,"

"Do not concern yourself. Edera can no longer harm you," Sesshomaru said with a slightly disturbed tone in his voice. He could not determine if the disturbance was over his anger at that succuvex, or his anxiousness to push aside that insidious uncertainty that seemed to seize him once more.

"Yes, but knowing that it was my responsibility to protect her and I did nothing to help. And now, after what happened to your brother, I hope you can forgive me," Akatsuki sighed regrettably. "I would never have allowed such a thing had I known."

"Akatsuki," Sesshomaru began, knowing he had no desire for her to experience such pain. "You must not leave the castle without making me aware." Just barely directing his attention to her, the youkai lord could see an anger lingering in her eyes as she looked at him. He wondered if it was easier to love a natural sister than it was to love a half-brother. But he knew the difference was in their hearts in general. Hers was caring and had probably been so all her life. His..., he was unsure what his heart was now, but he knew it had never been caring. It was changing, and he could feel those changes. Sitting beside her now, he could almost feel those changes overwhelming him at this very moment. Why else would he overly concern himself with a youkai in which he need not have ant true interest. "I do not know the youkai in this territory," Sesshomaru said, focusing off in the distance; he would refocus on her as his obligation. "I cannot allow you to be injured."

Akatsuki did not immediately respond as she studied him with confusion. "Yes, of course," she said finally, also focusing in the distance; her heart continuing to race slightly.

Sesshomaru had never thought a youkai's heart could care so; in seeing her pain, he began to doubt. He had never doubted such a thing. An anger now flowed through him with that realization. But it was not simply because he had not protected her in this recent battle, nor was it because he had not protected her today. This anger was more because he had not protected her sister, 25 years ago. He had never cared for anyone's needs, save his own. Anyone he had protected then was merely incidental to his need to protect his land. He was the lord of the western lands yes, but he had always cared more about protecting his lands, than he had cared about protecting his people. But this youkai had nearly given her life to protect his brother, could he not regret that he had not been of assistance to her?

"And you should no longer think on the events of that battle. The injuries you suffered were greatest. I should not have allowed you to be injured thus." The youkai lord said in a calm, quiet voice as he tried to clear his mind of his thoughts. "I should also never have brought you into this castle," he added, knowing he truly meant he should never have accepted her assistance. Had he not, he would not be filled with such confusion now.

"It was not your bringing me into the castle that was the problem," Akatsuki said studying the disappointment on his features. "I think it was just because I was the one who happened to be passing by at the moment that youkai attacked," she said studying him intently. "You do realize it would likely have attempted to capture anyone under your protection."

"Capture anyone under... so you believe this was an attack against me?" he asked, wondering why he had not ensured the castle was cleared before.

"In truth, I am uncertain," Akatsuki turned and directed her gaze downward, as she contemplated exactly what had happened. "With its limited brain and heart function, I sensed only one word - _capture_. But just before it attacked, I sensed such a powerful demonic aura," she said reflecting on how sinister that aura had truly felt. She had never felt such evil. She had sensed her lord's power, and she had also sensed his anger and his hatred; but she had sensed nothing from him of such an intense magnitude.

"You sensed, but are your abilities not shut down?" The youkai lord asked with some degree of concern that she might now sense the confusion pummeling through his head.

"I activated them earlier," Akatsuki said turning away slightly. "In an attempt to get stronger," despite her current thoughts, she did not add that he had literally consumed them and she needed to get away before her very heart was lost.

"Are you certain there should be no concern regarding that?" The youkai lord inquired, determined to gain control of himself. "Are you sufficiently healed enough to withstand that burden?"

"My sensor abilities have not yet reached their full capacity," Akatsuki responded. "So I will have time to heal further before it is. But I am certain there is no one within 20 miles of this castle that should make you uneasy, unless there is a Suzaku masking their presence," she added thoughtfully. "But I have no cause to believe such a thing. As long as all other ningyou youkai are destroyed there should be no danger."

"But if you sensed that aura so strongly..."

"I believe an excessive amount of youki had been expended to exert control over the ningyou. My sensors may also have been in overdrive since I had only recently activated them," she said, but knowing of his status as a warrior, she knew he would not wish to take the word of a sorceress, she added. "But please, do not allow me to hold you here; if you wish to patrol by all means."

Turning his head, Sesshomaru studied her. "Akatsuki, I will not leave your side," he said assertively.

With the warmth of the day, Inuyasha now wore only his hakama and his white haori as he moved toward a clearing on the castle grounds. He was closely followed by the young girl and the little youkai, who carried a staff clutched tightly between his fingers. Catching sight of them as they moved further away, Hidenka Akatsuki's thoughts focused on the human girl. She had almost forgotten about her, but now remembered it had struck her as odd that her lord had a young human under his care.

Akatsuki knew that over the years she had heard untold stories of how Sesshomaru cared for no one and hated humans most of all; but the girl herself, seemed to be a direct contradiction to that fact. It amazed her that so much could have been said about him, but very little of which appeared to be true.

She was certain that over the years, he had undoubtedly used his power to make his will known. But now, she realized that kind of talk had likely come from youkai who did not even know him. If she had not been so frightened of his reputation or of the hatred she had sensed, she would not have sent her handmaidens away so quickly. If she had not, she would not be as much of a burden to him as she currently was. To have him retrieve them now, though, would be even more of an intrusion. She could not place any more undue encumbrances on him while she remained under his protection. Soon, she should be well enough to leave and she was determined not to cause him further trouble before then.

"You said you do not think that ningyou's intent was to kill you," Sesshomaru said, trying to determine its ultimate goal. "Then why would it attempt to capture you?"

"I think... I think I was meant to be bait."

"Bait?"

"Yes, but I will not even hazard a guess as to why," she said, despite having a good sense that that much evil could not possibly be contained in anyone currently in the living world.

"Perhaps I am wrong, but I must warn you to keep your guard up. That aura was so incredibly evil," the hidenka continued; deciding to push aside her previous thoughts for now, but realized that she should probably introduce herself to the others soon. She had been in bed for nearly two weeks, and Sesshomaru had mentioned how he often joined them before and after the times he sat with her. "If that aura truly belonged to Lord Balthazar, despite the death of Princess Edera and even with the total destruction of those ningyou youkai; if it is truly your power he desires, I do not believe he will give up."

"No, I do not imagine that he would," Sesshomaru said as his thoughts drifted back to that disgusting hanyou. He, too, had not given up; even after Inuyasha had dealt him the final blow.

"Surely you will soon fill this castle with servants," Akatsuki said, interrupting his thoughts. "But do not forsake a staff of guards for too long," she advised, uncertain of whether he would believe himself above the need for guards. He was, after all, so very powerful. "I am certain my father would allow you to utilize one of his own battalions until you are adequately staffed."

"You need not concern yourself," Sesshomaru said as he studied her. "I have no need to intrude upon your father; I shall bring in a team of youkai guards shortly. I shall have no problems keeping you safe," he said, then realized there was an annoyance in the tone of his voice that had something to do with the fact that his not following the hidenka out earlier, may well have resulted in another failure on his part. Having no desire to acknowledge that confusion, he added. "I will keep everyone in this castle safe."

Akatsuki turned her head to study him. "Sesshomaru, truly, you need not worry me," she said hopefully, but her heart began to fill with a sadness once again, as she realized that he might be too much of a youkai of honor to not forego his supposed obligations. "The events of the past weeks aside, I am not weak," she said, trying to push her emotions aside. "I may not have your power or your strength, and I may well have utilized my fire power too soon, but I do not require protection," she insisted, wondering about the fruitlessness of her words. She was not a warrior, and she knew he likely hated her for that, but the honor he held so dear may likely force him to hold to his supposed obligations, nonetheless. "I am an extremely powerful life sorceress. I am well capable of protecting myself."

"Akatsuki, it is you, who need not concern yourself. You are my responsibility and I _will_ keep you safe," Sesshomaru said, and that was that.

**A/N: ****Am I wrong, or did Sesshomaru finally admit that he actually cared for Kagura? Why was that so hard? Well, he only admitted it to himself, but that's good too, isn't it? It means he **_**can**_** care, doesn't it?**

Oh, thank goodness for Inuyasha! Maybe the hidenka needs to realize she's not strong enough yet to be outside on her own and she _**does**_** need a protector?**

**Sorry about that little cliff hanger tease; but actually, it wasn't much of a battle. The hidenka used her water sorcery and her fire power to wet it and turn it into baked mud, and Inuyasha finished it off! It was actually placed her as a prelude to some interesting events to come. The more important thing is why did it rise now?  
**

**Boy, I have to say, though, this chapter was disappointing. Sesshomaru tries to go back to the frame of mind Sesshomaru is so comfortable with and Akatsuki still will not take the easy in she is given. She does not want a protector? What is wrong with these people?**

-  
Akatsuki - (Aurora/Dawn)  
chichi-ue - (father)  
haramaki - (armor)

**Hakama - pants)**

**hidenka - (princess)  
Nagisa rai - (sea water come)  
ningyou youkai - (puppet demons)  
tsuka - (hilt)  
youkai - (demon)  
youki - (demon power)**


	31. Chapter 31 Unspoken Thoughts Feelings

**A/N: Okay, as promised my regular Sunday update. Hope you enjoy.**

**Sesshomaru & Inuyasha: Brothers in Arms  
Sesshomaru & Inuyasha: Kyōdai de Busō**

Shō 31 - Kuchinashi Oboshimeshi  
Chapter 31 - Unspoken Thoughts/Feelings

After a warm bath in the onsen, Hidenka Akatsuki dressed in the only formal kimono brought to her by her handmaidens and joined the others in the living area, later that evening.

Sesshomaru's eyes widened slightly to see her so attractively and royally, attired. Despite his reluctance, the youkai lord's heart pulsed slightly as he observed her.

Akatsuki was adorned in a multiple piece blue silk Oh- Furisode with long sleeves and a beautifully designed panel wrapped with a large gold and sky blue maru-obi, accented by a twisted vibrant blue silk cord gracing her waist. Her hair was softly draped across her shoulders in its familiar style.

But like every time Sesshomaru had seen her of late, there seemed nothing else truly familiar about her. There was so much intriguing diversity in this single youkai female; from the warrior he saw in the white hebikinu outfit when he had first encountered her; to the youkai who seemed so helpless when he'd caught her in his arms; to the youkai who lay dying only a few days ago; to the soft female who hummed and swam earlier that morning; to the vision of loveliness that stood before him now.

No, she was not a warrior as he would have preferred, but there was obviously more to her than he had originally thought. He could not help but think that every time he saw her, she was an entirely different youkai. Is that what was causing so much confusion in his head, he wondered. Despite his innate reluctance, he had a distinct feeling that her mere presence caused him to want to know more about her, but he had to admit this confused puzzlement... scared him. He had never feared anything, but he believed he did fear her. He feared what she was causing him to feel.

Greeting Sesshomaru upon her entry, Akatsuki smiled softly and waved him off temporarily when the youkai lord rose from his chair and offered it to her. She told him she wanted to introduce herself first.

Feeling more discomfort than he could recall ever previously feeling, Sesshomaru strode toward one of the walls and lifted another of the large chairs that was resting against it and brought it toward the group; practically placing it in line with the other that was already there.

"Hello everyone, please forgive me; I am so sorry I have been such a recluse," Hidenka Akatsuki said as she turned and headed toward the group.

"Oh Lord Sesshomaru," Rin squealed with delight, catching site of the new arrival. "She's so beautiful, she looks like a princess."

"You are so sweet," Hidenka Akatsuki smiled warmly. "I _am_a princess. I am Hidenka Akatsuki, I am so sorry we did not have the opportunity to meet properly. You are?"

"I'm Rin," the little girl responded with a smile.

"Hajimemashite, Rin. Dozo yoroshiku," Hidenka Akatsuki said as she bowed slightly at the waist.

After a gentle elbow nub in the side from Inuyasha as he rose to move toward the hidenka himself, Rin looked questioningly at Sesshomaru then rushed forward to extend her greetings. They were both followed closely by Jaken.

"Hajimemashite, Hidenka Akatsuki. Dozo yoroshiku," Rin mimicked in return as she bowed lightly at the waist as well.

"You are such a beautiful young girl," the hidenka exclaimed with a gentle smile as she placed her hand lightly on the side of Rin's face.

"Thank you very much," Rin said with a brilliant smile before turning and scurrying back to her seat.

"Master Inuyasha," the hidenka turned to the hanyou. "Forgive me for not thanking you earlier for your assistance, but I am so pleased to see you are well. I am pleased to see everyone is well," Akatsuki turned and addressed the group.

"Just Inuyasha, hidenka," the young hanyou corrected her. "And I didn't really do anything. You pretty much had it taken care of before I got there; I just finished it off," he responded rather uncomfortably. "Anyway, you are the one who's been sick, and I'm sorry about that," he responded, still embarrassed for his role in her illness. Still not understanding why she'd done it, or what he could do to repay her, despite what Sesshomaru had told him. "But thank you for saving me and I'm glad you're doing better. If there's anything I can do..."

"I simply returned what was rightfully yours," Hidenka Akatsuki said dismissively.

Not understanding, Inuyasha simply scrunched his face as he studied her with a wearied gaze but received no further explanation.

"And you are," Hidenka Akatsuki turned toward the little grayish green imp.

"I am Jaken, Lord Sesshomaru's most loyal servant," Jaken announced proudly.

"I am very pleased to meet you Jaken," Akatsuki said with a vibrant smile. "I am certain you are a great asset to Lord Sesshomaru," she said, before retreating to the chair Sesshomaru offered to take a seat.

Flustered by what he felt was an extremely flattering compliment; Jaken simply bowed and vaguely issued a "thank you hidenka."

"How are you feeling?" Sesshomaru asked, offering her his arm for support, his eyes still glinting with obvious concern, but his chest pounding with something more.

"Much better, thank you," Akatsuki said then turned toward the group. "I hope no one minds if I join you tonight?"

The question was followed by a bevy of voices that sang it's 'no's', 'please join us's' and 'it's good to have you's'.

After holding the chair for her, Sesshomaru took a seat in the other large chair that he had placed beside the one Akatsuki sat in crossing his leg and angling it toward her, as if silently sending a message; but personally wondering if he was sending one to himself.

Throughout the night, Inuyasha studied his brother with interest.

_I am indebted to her._

After noting their familiarity in address and proximity, the youkai lord's actions seemed less like someone who simply felt he had a debt to repay, than someone who was actually beginning to care for the hidenka, no matter what he said. It reminded him a lot of himself when he'd met Kikyo. He had not wanted to leave her side; always following her on her missions, hovering in trees to be near her, then, eventually traveling with her. But for Sesshomaru, that almost seemed impossible. He had never thought his brother capable of true emotions.

_Love is a human desire. It is not required for youkai._

Inuyasha wondered about the truth of those statements. To him the two exuded the ultimate in royalty and appeared to be well suited to each other, both in looks, language and mannerisms, debt or not.

The group stayed together and talked until the early hours of the morning. Rin excitedly began the conversation with her lord's plan to build his own castle. This branched out into a variety of subject lines, beginning with each describing what they would like to see in and around the new castle.

With innocence as her excuse, Rin excitedly asked the hidenka what she would like to see in the castle. Without missing a beat Hidenka Akatsuki seemed entirely unflustered by the question and promptly responded that she was certain anything the little girl's master put in place would surely turn out beautifully and would certainly satisfy anyone's desires. This answer delighted Rin who smiled with pride at her lord. However, it did not escape Inuyasha's notice that the hidenka had not put in a request for anything. Nor did it escape Sesshomaru's.

The conversation veered off in an entirely different direction when Rin proudly began to discuss how Lord Sesshomaru had saved her from drowning; detailing the entire comedy of errors that had occurred when a lady friend of Lord Sesshomaru's was drowning, and she had jumped into the water to try to save her, but then she had almost drowned and Jaken had jumped in to save her, but then he had also almost drowned and Lord Sesshomaru had swept down from the sky and saved them all, and he'd only had one arm at the time.

Clearly still annoyed by the turn of events, Jaken quickly denied that their lord had any intention of saving that foolish youkai, stating that she had only been saved as an indirect consequence of their lord saving them; adding that if Rin had not been so foolish, herself, there would have been no reason for their lord to trouble himself. With those words, Jaken promptly received nothing less than a deadly cold, narrowed eyed stare from Sesshomaru, who had tensed at that memory, but wondered why he did. True, when that had occurred, he had not cared about Kagura's life, but so much had changed since then. He had later acknowledged that he truly had cared about her. Had he tensed because he once more did not wish to care for anyone, Akatsuki especially?

Having not noticed the exchange of glances, Hidenka Akatsuki calmly stated how such an act simply demonstrated how truly powerful and gracious their lord was.

Delighted to hear such glowing remarks about him, Rin promptly attempted to recount every event in which Lord Sesshomaru saved either her or Jaken. Having no shame about scrounging for compliments for her lord's sake, confident that he did not get nearly as much as she believed he truly deserved, Rin recounted the episode in which her lord had restored her life after she'd been killed by a pack of wolves, concluding with the fact that he had taken care of her ever since.

Though saddened to hear of such a distressing event, such information set the hidenka's own personal beliefs into question. She could not help but think that perhaps everything she had previously heard about Sesshomaru had been wrong. To have Rin under his protective care was one thing, but to be so compassionate as to restore her life, had been something entirely different. She had not expected that of him. Perhaps he was not as non-caring as her sensors had initially led her to believe. Perhaps that concern she had sensed when she hovered near death, had truly come from him, after all.

As the evening went along, Rin eventually concluded her tails of her lord's valiance with her hopes that Inuyasha would soon train her to become a youkai slayer.

Despite her amazement at this revelation, Hidenka Akatsuki said nothing revealing. The young girl was her lord's charge and surely, he would not allow her to injure herself.

Inuyasha brought up the subject of Naraku explaining what it required to bring him down. The battle, apparently, was still constantly on his mind, probably more because he'd not had any significantly challenging battles since, except for Princess Edera, but the mere discussion of Naraku seemed to energize him.

Though he, himself, had no specific subjects to discuss, Jaken had no problem adding his own specific echoes to the conversations initiated by the others.

Sesshomaru spent most of his time listening and watching; Akatsuki primarily. He was pleased with the ease and comfort in which she seemed to fit in with his rag tag group. It also pleased him, that they all appeared so eager and willing to share aspects of their lives with her. He was confident that when he likely announced that they might eventually be required to become mates that they would be readily accepting of the situation. Although he truly cared not what they thought, he was the lord of the western and now the southern lands. He would fulfill his obligation and he knew they would accept and respect her, regardless.

Almost too quickly, the evening waned away and the group slowly began to disperse. Having resigned himself to looking after Rin like a little sister, Inuyasha finally rose to put her to bed as was becoming his custom. Jaken, who had grown into the routine of tending Ah-Un, at least until his lord was able to increase his staff, departed to the stables to feed the dragon, leaving Sesshomaru and Akatsuki alone in the living area.

After tucking Rin into bed, Inuyasha was on his way back when he overhead the conversation between his brother and the hidenka. Despite feeling a slight tug of guilt at his actions, he pressed his back against the wall and listened.

Hidenka Akatsuki stood in the center of the cavernous room. It now seemed larger and more vacant than it had earlier when the room bustled with voices and lively chatter. Now, it was only her and Sesshomaru and she dreaded what she had to say. She was a sensitive youkai sorceress, but despite being unable to truly sense her lord's heart now, after the evening of conversation and Sesshomaru's constant attention, it did not take much to sense that things were at work that she was not prepared to handle. All that talk about his new castle, was Sesshomaru truly going to hold to those youkai rules of obligation? Was he actually planning out her life for her? She knew the youkai in the room with her, was a powerful lord with an immense amount of pride and he would not be comfortable feeling indebted to anyone. But he was not the type of youkai to hold to such rules, was he?

"Sesshomaru," Akatsuki began with a bit of trepidation on the edge of her voice. She had no idea what her strength would be like, but she knew she had to leave before she found herself immersed in a situation with no possible escape. She had already found herself struggling with her own personal thoughts these past few days. There had been so many thoughts she'd had about him, from her own forbidden desires to what she was certain were his undesired ones. Sesshomaru did not know her. He did not know her clan. He knew the Suzaku clan members had secluded themselves, but he had never bothered to find out why. He in fact, had held no interest in them. She knew only that he hated her, he hated her magic and he hated her clan because they were not warriors like him. But his actions were leading her to believe that he would fulfill an undesired obligation simply to satisfy his pride. She, though, could not accept that.

"I will be leaving tomorrow," she said slowly. "But I must thank you for your hospitality, and everything you have done to assist in my recovery," she said, following her announcement with as gracious a smile as she could muster. Though she was certain it was not his intent, it had been his attentive care of her, that had spun her own thoughts in the direction they were currently headed. But she could not and would not allow herself to consider that potential.

"Tomorrow?" Sesshomaru repeated as his eyes narrowed, his mouth tightening into a tense frown. "You are not yet well," he said to counter her words. Words he had not expected to hear. "You were an invalid in bed just yesterday; not to mention your collapse earlier."

Akatsuki issued a warm smile as she tried to enliven the expression in her eyes. The last thing she wanted was for Sesshomaru to believe she had to remain under his care. When she had sent her handmaidens away, she had not thought she would suffer any danger being alone. She had not thought he would care for her at all. She had simply thought he would leave her to mend on her own. But, he had in fact, been kind, gentle and so very attentive. She had truly not expected such care from him. "But that was because of dark magic," Akatsuki protested. "And I do not wish to impose on you further."

"Precisely," Sesshomaru retorted. "Have you forgotten what that magic has done to you?" He demanded, literally jumping at her words. But despite the anger that was rising in him, his tone remained steady and controlled. "You cannot be certain you have yet recovered," he stated flatly. "And I will hear no more of impositions," he said looking down at her with a determined golden gaze, his arms folded sternly across his chest. "Ensuring your safety is no imposition. It would only be so, if I did not," his tone had stiffened slightly as he realized he had not at all prepared himself for any possibility of Akatsuki's departure. "Besides, you cannot yet fly, can you?" he asked, fairly assured of her response.

Because his careless acts had resulted in her injury, he was now obligated to protect her, but the level of his commitment and his repayment was subject to her will; she was the one who had been injured after all. But Sesshomaru realized his reluctance to let her leave went beyond the possible level of any repayment. After spending so much time with her over these past weeks, something inside him truly did not wish for her to depart. He was no longer totally against his obligation. Akatsuki was quite powerful in her own rights, but he could no longer deny that there was something else about her. But he knew not what that truly was. "Without flight, how do you propose to get back? Walk?"

Akatsuki ignored the growing tension in his voice. She had not expected such resistance. She had thought he would be glad to be rid of her. "I will summon Adona, my winged horse," Akatsuki began to explain. "I have an amulet that I can use for that purpose," she lifted her hand to touch the amulet on her left ear.

"And if you became dizzy and fell off him, then what?" the youkai lord said as he turned away. He would not allow her to injure herself yet again. He was certain her desire to leave was a result of what she had likely sensed in him before. But could she sense him now? Did this confusion that pummeled his brain frighten her as much as it did him? "If you cannot fly on your own accord, as you did when you came," Sesshomaru said across his shoulder. "You should not be on your own," he turned back to face her with an authoritative glint in his eyes. "I am the lord of these lands. It would be beneath me to allow such a thing, and I will not," Sesshomaru added decisively, once more finding himself locked in a state of utter confusion. He was well aware that he could, of course, take her to the Suzaku compound himself, but his hesitancy to let her go was only partially because of the state of her health. The weakness in her blood still spoke of her inability to endure such a trip. But this youkai confused him; there was a deep-seeded desire to further explore the emotions growing within him. Akatsuki seemed to ignite his very soul; something he did not understand and he had to know why.

He had evaluated many possibilities over the past days, even the past few hours, even stooping so low as to consider whether these unexplained feelings enveloping him, meant simply that he was lusting after her. Is that what this was? Did her softness and her tears actually affected this daiyoukai in some inconceivable way? Or was his unexplained desire to keep her by his side nothing more than a biological need? Was it because he had seen her in various states of undress, or was there more to this?

Yes, he'd had and had filled his biological urges before. He had even lusted before, when he was a much younger youkai, but he had never felt anything like this. To have considered that need as even a possibility should never have entered into the equation. He was a youkai lord; such issues should be of no interest to him. But he knew not what this was. He had to find some way to explain this confusion that continued to possess him.

He remembered when he had lusted after his haha-ue's friend, a much older youkai than himself, but that had not mattered. He wanted her, and he had obviously not concealed it, because she had permitted it. His chichi-ue had since told him that was not appropriate behavior for the future lord of the lands. He had told him a future lord did not simply lust after any female; he should choose his partner wisely and should not go romping around in stables. But that was not what he wanted now. Now, he could almost say... he was... literally frightened by what he truly did want. He did not believe he had ever felt such powerful emotions. He had never had anything stir inside him the way this did. He had undergone many changes lately, but despite having no idea why he would wish to, Sesshomaru believed he did wish to know more about Akatsuki, about what her mere presence was doing to him. She was not like most youkai. She contained such fire power but she was not a warrior. She shed tears, but she was neither human, nor youkai. She possessed a youkai's heart, but she seemed to care; why? That was not a true youkai's nature.

"Akatsuki, you are my responsibility and you need not protest, I _will_keep you safe," he added his assurances. She may well believe that was not his desire, but surprisingly, though he would not have previously conceived of it, he did wish to keep her safe.

He was the lord of the western and southern lands and he did not believe he simply lusted for her, despite his uncertainty of what he truly did feel. He wanted to do things with her, not just to her; he believed he wanted to be with her; he believed he wanted her to be with him; he even believed he wanted to _willingly_care for her, not just simply fulfill an obligation. He wanted very much to end her tears, those tears that tore at his own heart. He felt an undeniable concern for her well-being; he did not want anything to happen to her, but he knew he could not guarantee her safety if she were out of his sight.

Akatsuki was totally unprepared for her lord's response when he interrupted her; although she knew it was only a result of his concern for her health. "Believe me, Sesshomaru, I will be fine," she knew her facial expression may have displayed a slight sign of discomfort although she still tried to smile, even if weakly.

"Perhaps, but I am not willing to take that chance," Sesshomaru's gaze roved determinedly across her face. "It would not be honorable for me to allow you to leave when you are not yet well."

Honor? He would keep her here for his honor? Did he not know she was a Suzaku hidenka? Akatsuki's own internal anger began to boil; though her expression was not as stoic as his could be, it also revealed no trace of her inner thoughts. "I am not your responsibility, Sesshomaru," she responded firmly, her gaze stubbornly fixed on his face.

"Until you are well, you are; especially since you are weaker than you care to admit," Sesshomaru's mouth tightened yet again.

Akatsuki lowered her gaze to the floor, pulling her arms around herself as if attempting to shield herself from the piercingly cold tone detected in his voice. Although unsure of the impending results, she decided she had to be more explicit. "You are not indebted to me, Sesshomaru. There is no need to concern yourself further. I do not require such concern."

"Akatsuki, I am the lord of these lands. If the lord of the lands does not follow youkai customs, why should any other youkai? I am not one to push aside that which is my responsibility to bear," surely she thought that he as the lord of the western and southern territories would deem himself above fulfilling his youkai obligations.

"If you would be more comfortable with your handmaidens _here_, I will retrieve them." He studied her, hoping that concession would at least relieve her concerns about returning to her castle just yet. There were many things about her he did not understand her, but even worst, he believed he no longer understood himself. What was it about this youkai, he wondered, that made him want so much to protect her, despite her protests. Was this the love he was certain he would never feel? No. It could not be. He would never love. But despite knowing not what this was, he did know he had to find out.

Akatsuki raised her gaze to look into his eyes. So, even the lord of the western and now southern territories did not feel himself above repaying a debt; a debt that required him to fulfill an obligation he had no desire to fulfill. A debt that required him to become the protector of a youkai he cared not for.

But she could not allow it. She already felt an attachment to Sesshomaru that she had felt for no other youkai in all her years. She still did not know if that concern she had sensed when she slept was from him, or not, but did that truly matter? His attention to her since she had awakened seemed so incredibly heartfelt. He did not have to, and she knew he did not wish to, but her care at his hands had already thrust her heart into such turmoil. Using the magic she knew he hated so much she could shut down her sensors, but she could not shut down her heart. Just having him at her bedside every night had spun her head in untold directions. But she knew she could not allow her heart to take that ultimate step, not for him; not for a youkai whom she knew hated her; not for a youkai whom she knew could not love. But she could not guarantee that spending another day under Sesshomaru's care would not cause her to lose her own heart completely. His feelings toward her had been made clear when they first met, she had felt it fully when she slept.

Never before had she assisted a youkai outside the Suzaku clan. She could not. She had known all too well, those youkai rules of obligation. As a life sorceress, it was her obligation to be of assistance; but it had always been understood among Suzaku clan members, that life sorceresses were not required to hold to those rules because they assisted every youkai if necessary. She had never considered that assisting her lord would lead to such an event. She had never considered that Sesshomaru, the lord of the lands, would be one to hold to such obligations. But she had also never considered that he would hold his honor above all else.

He had cared for her, but he did not care about her. He did not understand that she, a Suzaku life sorceress, could not accept his obligation. She was likely the one youkai that could not. Other than Rin's story that Sesshomaru had restored her life with his Tenseiga, she did not know why he had her under his care. With all the trouble she was certain they had undergone, she did not know why he now had his brother under his care. Perhaps they had grown closer over the weeks, she did not know. But she did not believe there was as much tension between them as there had been. Perhaps Sesshomaru did care for them all in his own way. But she was not his brother, nor was she one of his young charges. She was a Suzaku life sorceress. Clearly, he did not know what that truly meant.

_You are youkai, why do you cry?_

She knew not what he had told them about her, but knowing who he was, she was certain he would never truly care about her; because he had likely never truly cared about any other female which was why he seemed unaware that his attentive care to her was wreaking such havoc. As a youkai herself, she was fully aware that youkai did not generally love; and warriors, least of all. Sesshomaru was a warrior; and she was a life sorceress. If he could not love, he could never love her - a life sorceress. She could not be a youkai that stayed with him because he pitied her or because he believed he had a debt to repay.

To accept his proposed repayment would mean her possible death; and she _would_die - a slow and painful one if she did. Was it his fault that he did not know this? Surely not. Yes, it was true he had shown no previous interest in her clan, but their history was also something no Suzaku clan member would openly discuss. She would simply have to ensure that he understood that he was not indebted to her. "Sesshomaru, you need not bear any further responsibility as regards me," Akatsuki said hoping he realized she was releasing him from his supposed debt. "You have done more than enough to care for me. If you had not caught me, I..."

"Akatsuki, as the lord of this castle, you and everyone in it, is under my protection," he said with a focused and penetrating gaze, his mouth tight and unflinching, allowing no room for any confusion. "I will not allow you to leave in your current condition." He had never imagined it would prove so difficult to convince her that fulfilling his obligation was no longer an unpalatable proposition for him. But he knew it was probably because of what she believed she knew of him; he was determined to prove otherwise. He needed her here to accomplish that.

"Sesshomaru, I am saying that you do not..."

"I will not discuss this further," Sesshomaru said with finality, cutting off her words.

Akatsuki stared wide-eyed as she studied the tall youkai standing only inches away from her. She could see his concern for her well-being still clearly etched in his gaze. But she wondered how she could explain to him that she had no interest in forming a match based merely on obligation because of her principles and who she was, when she knew he would not relish putting aside his obligation because of his principles and who he was. It was a custom that he intended to fulfill, no matter how much it displeased him. Realizing there was probably little she could say to sway the youkai lord for now, Akatsuki simply bade him goodnight and returned to her room.

**+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#**

**A/N: The greeting between the hidenka and Rin, is pretty much a typical greeting between Japanese people meeting for the first time. Since I love the anime so much, and actually started to learn some Japanese because of this anime and Bleach and since Rin is so special, I figured I would throw the non-translated words in when the hidenka greets Rin and do everyone else in English. Hope you thought it was as cute as I did.**

**And, I know instead of …. "she looks like a princess and - I am a princess and - I am Hidenka Akatsuki"…. it should have been hidenka all the way, since it means the same thing, but I didn't want to repeat the word hidenka so many times because I just felt it lost something so close together-sorry, forgive me.**

**Now what are those thoughts the hidenka is truly thinking about? Her death? She doesn't mean that literally does she? That's only a figure of speech, isn't it? Or is there really some significance behind those thoughts? If there are, is that why she kept telling Sesshomaru he was not indebted to her, because she believes she will die?**

**Hopefully, we'll find out more soon!**

Akatsuki - (Akatsuki/Dawn)  
chichi-ue - (father)  
Dozo yoroshiku - (please be kind to me)  
haha-ue - (mother)  
Hajimemashite - (nice to meet you)  
hebikinu – (youkai snake skin)  
hidenka - (princess)  
kuishinbou ninjen - (gluttonous human eater)  
ningyou youkai - (puppet demons)  
oh-furisode - (big furisode/kimono)  
onsen - (public hot spring water bathing room)


	32. Chapter 32 Confrontation

**A/N: Okay, here's my latest update. Hope you enjoy.**

**Sesshomaru & Inuyasha: Brothers in Arms  
Sesshomaru & Inuyasha: Kyōdai de Busō**

Shō 32-Taiketsu  
Chapter 32-Confrontation

Inuyasha had barely managed to conceal himself before Hidenka Akatsuki had exited the living area. He watched stealthily as she retreated. Her steps seemed slow and uncommitted; her head turned down as if in dejection. He seemed to recall seeing some form of that look so many times before; from Kikyo; from Sango, from Kagome; from his mother. He didn't like it then, and he couldn't say he liked it anymore now. The hidenka looked like someone who was trapped, and Inuyasha couldn't help but wonder if her problem was his fault. If she had not restored his life, she would not be in this position now.

Sesshomaru had said he was indebted to her because he had allowed her to accompany him outside the western lands and she had been injured while assisting him. But the truth of it was that she'd been injured while restoring his life. Sesshomaru also said it was his obligation to become her protector. He'd said it was youkai custom to repay a debt in that manner. But was that her understanding as well? Inuyasha wondered as he watched her turn the corner toward the western wing of the castle.

Sure, it might be youkai custom, but what if a youkai didn't wish to honor it? He had never really known anything about youkai obligation, but he didn't know anything about the Suzaku clan either. Sesshomaru had said they were reclusive. What if they preferred to follow their own rules? What if that's why they secluded themselves? From what he saw, Hidenka Akatsuki seemed to be a calm natured youkai; he couldn't exactly say the same about his brother. Sesshomaru had never been the easiest person he knew to get along with, maybe the hidenka felt the same way. But then, what if she just didn't want his brother to become her protector? What if she already had someone whom she preferred over him? Did Sesshomaru even try to find out? What if he just didn't care?

_Love is generally a human desire. It is not required for youkai._

But even worst, what if Sesshomaru was... wrong? What if she was a youkai that loved? Although, he wasn't sure if even he believed that. Were there youkai that loved? Kouga certainly tried to pretend he was in love with Kagome, but he was certain he had just done that to get on his nerves. Creepy wolf demon. But if the hidenka did? What if she was already ... in love? Was this his fault? Was he responsible for the hidenka being in a position she apparently didn't seem to want to be in?

Damn, Inuyasha, cursed silently to himself. He really hated thinking, but there seemed to be little else to do around his brother. Sesshomaru seemed to love spending his time thinking, but maybe that youkai just didn't waste time thinking about anything that didn't go exactly how he wanted it to go. Maybe it was up to him to be his brother's voice of reason, even if he didn't want to be, or even if Sesshomaru didn't want him to.

Not quite sure where he found the courage, Inuyasha re-entered the large living area. He knew that his youkai lord brother had probably already scented him outside anyway. The last thing he needed was for Sesshomaru to think he'd eavesdropped on his conversation, then simply ran off. "You can't just keep her locked up here, you know," Inuyasha offered to Sesshomaru's back, deciding not to bother holding back. Sesshomaru wasn't the type of youkai to tolerate much dallying.

After Hidenka Akatsuki had exited, Sesshomaru had strolled toward the window and looked out at the evening sky; a habit he'd grown accustomed to during his travels. It afforded him the opportunity to think without being distracted by his surroundings.

"I do not recall asking for your opinion."

"Hanyou!"

Sesshomaru shot a not too pleased narrowed-eyed glance across his shoulder. "What?"

"Hanyou," Inuyasha restated. "You left that part off," he said matter-of-factly.

"Are we starting this again?" Sesshomaru shot back, facing the hanyou full on. Every time he thought he had gleaned insight into his thoughts or actions, the hanyou developed some new way to prove him wrong. He could not help but wonder if Inuyasha truly got some kind of sadistic pleasure by playing with him. Had he forgotten so soon, that he was not a youkai who would be played with?

"Starting again? It never stopped," Inuyasha whelped. "Even when you don't say it, you're thinking it," he barked angrily. He wasn't even sure what he was angry about. But was this anger for his sake or for the hidenka's? He wasn't really angry at Sesshomaru anymore was he? These past two weeks in the castle with his brother had turned out better than he would have imagined. While the hidenka slept and after he'd trained Rin, Sesshomaru had actually started training him in the art of Kenjutsu fighting and he'd learned a lot from him in just a couple of days. And even though Sesshomaru had spent a lot of time with the hidenka, he had also spent a lot of time with him and the others and he really seemed like he wanted him to be his general. In fact, he planned to begin their search for youkai guards by the end of the week.

"Why does it offend you to be called a hanyou," Sesshomaru wanted to know; studying him with an intense glare. That was the side of the hanyou he disliked most; from the way he allowed those humans to treat him; to his own self-deprecating opinion of himself. Would he ever learn what it meant to be the son of a daiyoukai? "A hanyou is what you are. You need to learn to be proud of who and what you are."

"You're always telling me that, but every time I hear that word come out of your mouth, it sounds a lot like 'filthy hanyou'," Inuyasha said with a steadfast defiance. If there was any way for them to get past their issues, he needed to stand up to his brother, especially when he believed that Sesshomaru might be... wrong. "That's 'cause you don't know how to talk to people Sesshomaru," Inuyasha said under a darkly narrowing gaze, there was no doubt his brother's pride had been wounded. "I know I'm not great at it either," he added quickly, realizing he might be treading dangerous ground and not wanting Sesshomaru to think he did not respect him; but more importantly, not wanting a steel-like fist connecting with his face, or those poison claws entering his neck. "But I think I know when I'm doing something wrong."

"Do you now? Are you implying that I do not?" Sesshomaru asked clearly displeased, his eyes narrowing to a threatening glare.

"Well," Inuyasha said quickly, certain that his brother's fist would be on its way shortly; "Sometimes you do act like you don't have a clue."

"About what? How have I offended you now?" Sesshomaru inquired without making any effort to conceal his exasperation. He was growing weary of this game his brother seemed insistent upon playing. He also could not help but think that some of his own inner frustration might be rooted in Akatsuki's words to him. Did she really think that a daiyoukai such as himself, the lord of the western and now southern territories would run from his obligation?

"Not me, it's what you just did to Hidenka Akatsuki," Inuyasha said looking away. His brother's angry glare was too intense to bear, if he was going to say what he wanted to. "You can't make her stay here if she doesn't want to. You can't just make people bow to your will the way Jaken does." He said, looking into Sesshomaru's face again.

The youkai lord's emotions ranged from a furious anger and lingered for a while before settling to something just short of annoyance, as he tried to temper his emotions while listening to his brother's words.

"Inuyasha, I have told you," Sesshomaru began with a wearied tone in his voice. "You know nothing about youkai or their customs." He was simply doing what was expected of him, was he not? Despite the level of confusion that possessed him of late, whether he was certain he wanted to, he would undoubtedly accept his obligation and Akatsuki would expect nothing less. He could not simply allow her to return to her clan without an understanding between them. "Were you not the one who came here to Edera's castle, yet you knew nothing about her?"

"Yeah, maybe I did," Inuyasha responded somberly; but that didn't necessarily make him wrong about this, did it? He hadn't forgotten that if he hadn't done that, no one would be in a position they didn't want to be in. Sesshomaru had said he didn't care about the hidenka, but he was a proud youkai who would do whatever was required to maintain his pride. The hidenka had just left with an attitude that seemed like she would prefer to be on her own. Maybe that's why he was so angry; not at Sesshomaru, but at himself. If he hadn't been so quick to help a youkai he knew nothing about, none of them would be here now.

He didn't know how, but Inuyasha did know he had to figure out a way to tell his brother what he thought he needed to know. He was not a great thinker, but he knew Sesshomaru was a proud youkai lord that would not want to be indebted to anyone. But Sesshomaru didn't seem to realize what Hidenka Akatsuki, herself, had told him in her own words. _'You are not indebted to me'_. Or worst, maybe just refused to be let off the hook, because he thought that might be demeaning to him. And that was something Inuyasha knew he could never accept.

Taking a deep breath, Inuyasha decided to continue nonetheless. "Sesshomaru, you saved my life several times," he hesitated as he paced absently about the room.

"And?"

Inuyasha came to a complete stop and eyed his brother boldly. "And I want to know what you want for payment."

"I did not ask for payment," Sesshomaru responded, his voice just as defiant as Inuyasha's gaze. Where was he going now?

"No, you didn't," Inuyasha retorted with determination. He had to do this, he told himself. Sesshomaru wasn't simply attacking him anymore; not since before he'd killed Princess Edera. So if he could just get him to listen, maybe they could truly begin to relate as brothers; but the first thing was for them to learn to really communicate with each other. "But you must want it, right? Even though I'm just a hanyou, isn't it my obligation to repay a debt, too? So I'm just asking, what do you want."

Sesshomaru lowered his head and breathed deeply. "I do not require payment."

"So what does that mean? I'm too weak to offer any value to a youkai lord like you, or is it just that I'm truly _not_ indebted to you?" Inuyasha eyed him suspiciously. "Why not? Is that because I'm just a hanyou and I don't count?"

Sesshomaru fought the urge to sigh. Even when the hanyou called himself that, he did it in a manner that displayed no pride. The youkai lord was beginning to wonder if his efforts to help instill pride in him meant he was simply fighting a losing battle. "We are kin. If I did not wish to save you, Inuyasha, I would not have. And I told you I wanted only for you to accompany me on my patrols of your own free will."

"But you're not doing any patrols now," Inuyasha said, knowing from what he had said before, that Sesshomaru probably wouldn't be going on patrol anytime soon. "So now what? Surely, you want something else from me, since you're not, right? Unless you're saying you saved me because what? You felt sorry for me?"

"I saved you because I made a vow to myself that I would not break."

"So what does that mean? Would our oyaji have been obligated to pay you back if you did the same thing for him?" Inuyasha demanded, his anger rising steadily. "But me; I'm not worthy of fulfilling youkai rules like anyone else?"

Sesshomaru peered deep into his younger brother's eyes, studying him intently. He believed he now understood where the hanyou was headed with this uncustomary confrontation. "Contrary to what you might believe, I am not dense Inuyasha," he said, his tone steady and even. "I know what Hidenka Akatsuki said." But she was simply trying to provide this daiyoukai a graceful exit, was she not? But he was not certain it was an exit he wanted to take. He knew not why, but there was something about her that intrigued him in some way.

"And?"

"And she is a Suzaku youkai."

"What does that mean?"

"The Suzaku clan has secluded themselves for thousands of years."

"You said that before, but what does that mean? Why did they do that?"

"Because they are not warriors, and I am."

"So you think she doesn't want you to be her protector because she's afraid of you or something?"

"In truth I am uncertain, but that is possible," the youkai lord conceded. He knew little of her abilities, but she had likely sensed much of his hatred and intolerances when she had initially sensed his heart's intent. He was also her lord, and with that, she may well be too frightened to openly accept his obligation. Since her handmaiden's departure, he had since considered those may well be her reasons for not openly accepting this daiyoukai. There was likely much he would have to do to eliminate her possible concerns.

"So what now?"

"So I am a youkai lord. She is a youkai hidenka," Sesshomaru said, convinced that his younger brother had misinterpreted the entire conversation, which he had no business listening to anyway. But as he vowed to himself, he would try to explain their ways to him. "My acts nearly cost her life. I must protect her regardless of her protests. I cannot have her return to the Suzaku compound without an agreement between us. It would not be respectful to back out of an obligation. You may consider it an unwritten youkai law. Whatever she wishes as her payment for nearly dying while assisting me, whether she wishes only a protector or even if she desires a mate, I will comply. I know my obligations, and I will fulfill them; I will not dishonor her."

Inuyasha finally understood how proud his brother truly was. His demeanor now was so much different than it was that first time he had told him about his likely obligation. Now, he could see he had clearly resigned himself to his fate, whatever that might be. But still he hadn't really mentioned anything about what the hidenka might really want. Had he not even considered her? He remembered when Miroku had simply thought about himself, and never even considered Sango's feelings. And he, himself, had only considered his need to be with Kikyo and had never even thought about Kagome when he'd left her alone. Was that what Sesshomaru was doing now? Thinking about his own honor and not about the hidenka at all? If so, Inuyasha knew he might get a fist in the face for this, but he decided there was no other way around it. Maybe he knew these things because of his mother. Maybe he knew it because of his friends. It didn't matter. He just knew it was something he had to tell his big brother.

"Sesshomaru, can you hear me out for a minute?" Inuyasha asked unsure whether what he was about to say would finally end his life tonight or not, but Sesshomaru had helped him several times, maybe he could help him now. Because of the lives they had both lived, he might know a little more about this kind of thing than Sesshomaru did. Even if he didn't know much, if there was any way he could help his brother, he wanted to try. In a way, he could look at it like he was paying down on his debt to him. It was a long way away from what Sesshomaru had done for him, but for now, this was really the only thing he had to offer.

Inuyasha moved toward the sofa, took a seat, and folded his legs beneath himself. "Sesshomaru, you said love is not required for two youkai to form a match."

"It is not."

"But it does happen," Inuyasha puzzled. "I mean youkai could want love couldn't they?" he asked, his eyes taking on a look of deep contemplation. "Or is it always just about situations, circumstances or forming power relations?"

"It is unlikely that two youkai _would_ require love or even desire it, but anything can happen," the youkai lord conceded. "Usually though, it is based more on a mutual respect than what you know as love," Sesshomaru answered freely, accepting his resolve to explain the youkai way of life to his younger brother as had been his intent when having him join him. Of course, there was no way he could admit that there was a turmoil growing inside of him and he knew it had a lot to do with Akatsuki. That he, himself, was puzzled by the intensity of what he felt for her; and he could not help but wonder if what he felt might be... love. That was too unsettling for him to fully acknowledge even to himself. He had acknowledged that he had cared for Kagura, but he had never loved anyone or anything. He had never considered love necessary. How could he tell the hanyou that he had thoughts that he had never before considered a possibility in all his life? There had never been a need to speak of any internal confusion. He had never had any. He had either been accepted, or he was not. If he was not, he had not previously cared.

"But it is not unheard of?" the hanyou said with great interest.

"Why are we discussing this?" Sesshomaru asked suspecting a deeper reason behind the question than simple curiosity, but as was his custom the hanyou usually spoke in riddles.

"Because I think you're wrong about your female friend."

"In what manner?"

"I don't think she wants her debt repaid the way you want to repay it."

"Ridiculous." That was youkai custom.

"Probably, but since I'm just making a guess here, I don't know what you really feel for her, maybe you don't know either," Inuyasha said noticing an uncomfortable glint in his brother's eyes. Was he right? Did Sesshomaru really care for the hidenka? Was he refusing to let her go because he wasn't sure himself? He had spent a lot of time at her bedside taking care of her. Could his feelings have possibly snuck up on him, before he knew what hit him? When he had first met Kikyou, he had thought she was so beautiful that he didn't really want to be away from her, but Sesshomaru was not him. He would never fall in love like that, would he? "Maybe you're trying to figure that out, yourself; maybe you just need time," Inuyasha added finally. Sesshomaru had taken care of him when he'd almost been killed, and things seemed to have changed after that. Had his heart actually...? "Hell, maybe I've got it all wrong; I don't know," Inuyasha wasn't sure if maybe he was overstepping his ground. Did he have any right to interject himself into Sesshomaru's issues, he wondered as he rose from the sofa and strolled aimlessly about the room. After a couple of minutes, he stopped and turned toward his older brother who studied him with his usual narrowed glare; but at least, he seemed to be listening. Maybe he should just say it.

"I know you probably don't want to hear this; especially not from me," he said looking uncertainly into his brother's eyes. Despite his earlier request to be heard, he was surprised that poisoned claws were not already squeezing the life out of his throat. "But if you want her to stay, why don't you just ask her? Don't order her. Don't try to make her. You can't just order or make people do what you want, Sesshomaru; whether you're a youkai lord or not. Don't allow yourself to get caught up in youkai customs. She is a hidenka, isn't she? Doesn't she have any rights?"

"Her rights," Sesshomaru repeated with surprise. "But she is a youkai above all."

"So what does that mean? No?"

"Of course she has rights. But youkai obligations supersede individual rights."

"Is that why she's so sad now?"

"Sad?" Sesshomaru repeated with genuine surprise. What made the hanyou think Akatsuki was sad?

"Yeah, I get the feeling she's pretty sad right about now."

"And I suppose you have this belief because of all the hours you've spent communicating with her, and learning her character, is that correct?"

Inuyasha hesitated for a moment. "You know, it's funny you should say that, because..." he paused again as he reflected on something he had not previously realized.

"Because what..." Sesshomaru waited.

"I don't know her," the hanyou hesitated as he searched his thoughts. "But I feel like I should. No," he tilted his head in puzzlement. "I don't know why, but I feel like I do. For some reason, I do feel like I know her; like I've known her for a long time. Like," he hesitated again, as he continued to search through his thoughts.

Sesshomaru studied him. Was the hanyou going to say...

"I feel like I do know her, or I guess like I know her sadness at least, but I'd be damned if I know how. It's not like I know anything else about her, but I almost feel like I should," Inuyasha trekked back toward the sofa and slumped against it as he threw his arms up behind his head to rest on them, as he tried to think this out. "It's like she's a big sister or something," he said confusedly. "Anyway for some reason, she seems kind of like someone whose been looking over me for a long time. Granted, other than tonight, I really haven't even spoken to her, but..."

Sesshomaru tensed at this knowledge. Was there more to the connection Akatsuki had shared with the hanyou over the years than he had previously thought?

"I don't know, but isn't that kind of funny," Inuyasha looked up at his brother.

Sesshomaru did not respond; he simply stared at him in wide-eyed disbelief. Not only had Akatsuki not mentioned such a possibility, he had never even considered it. He could not exactly say he liked the thought that the hanyou may well know more about Akatsuki than he did.

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**A/N: When did Inuyasha get to be so wise and so bold? He's comfortable offering advice to Sesshomaru, now? Boy, how much have changed in that castle in the past two weeks? And what is that little tidbit at the end? Sesshomaru doesn't like the connection Inuyasha shared with Akatsuki, what is that about? Does Inuyasha know their souls were connected in some way for 50 years? But what about the hidenka? What is she thinking now?  
**

Akatsuki - (Aurora/Dawn)  
Daiyoukai- great demon)

Hidenka - (princess)  
oyaji - (old man)

Youkai - (demon)


	33. Chapter 33 Fallen

**Sesshomaru & Inuyasha: Brothers in Arms  
Sesshomaru & Inuyasha: Kyōdai de Busō**

Shō 33-Fushitaoreru  
Chapter 33-Fallen

Akatsuki returned to her bedroom, slid the shoji screen door closed behind her, wrapped her arms around herself then stared absently though the open window on the other side of the room.

Sesshomaru was so powerful. No, he was more than simply powerful, he was so commandingly frightening, and he did frighten her; even his words alone, practically froze her where she stood.

_I will not discuss this further._

She had not expected that. But why was she so surprised by this outcome? How could she, a life sorceress not have known? She knew Sesshomaru well enough to know he was not a youkai who dallied over his decisions. Had he not come to her quickly when she told him his brother needed his assistance? His arrival at her camp then, had been more rapid than she had anticipated. Had he also not hastily made his decision to battle Princess Edera when he could not convince his brother to leave with him?

She realized now that Sesshomaru had probably set his plans in motion while she slept in that unconscious stupor. He was an efficient youkai lord. He would not back out of anything he felt was his obligation to fulfill. But she had told him he was not obligated. Why would he not hear her? He did not want her that was clear, but he would tolerate her for an obligation. That was youkai custom, but she had not expected it to be his.

Did she truly think his attentive care of her was purely because... because...

What?

What did she think that care was for? Did she truly think he would care about her? No, she did not, so why did she think he had cared for her, other than he believed it was his obligation? Had she truly hoped that he would really care? Sesshomaru was a warrior. Warriors did not generally love; they had no need for such things. Oh, how had she not realized this possible outcome?

She could not do this. She could not face him again; to subject herself to more of his attentive care…. no, more of his tolerance. Because that is what it was; that is all it was. He would tolerate her as his obligation. Yes, he permitted her to call him by his birth name, but that was not because they were friends; they were merely cast into an uncomfortable intimacy due to her illness. No, she could no longer sense his heart because of their familiarity, but they had not truly reached that level of familiarity where she could truly consider him a friend. If she could, then perhaps her situation would not… But no, to have him as her protector would be unbearable. He was so powerful, but whether he wished it or not, he could also be so charming. At least, that is what she had been thinking these past few days. But she had also been thinking that he was charming despite his innate hatred of her.

But then, there was that concern she believed she had sensed from him. She had never before sensed anyone's concern for her on a personal level. That was not an ability she thought she possessed. But she was so close to death then, and she had not had any control over her abilities, and it was Sesshomaru's concern, was it not? Who else would it have been? It was that concern for her that had endowed her with the strength to awaken. If not for his retrieving her handmaidens and that concern she believed she had sensed, she may well not be alive today. Is that why she, herself, felt he was charming, because he had saved her life? Why could that not be sufficient? Why would he think she wished more?

He was not a youkai she would ever understand. He was not a youkai who would ever understand her. What should she do? Sesshomaru was so complicated. There were so many sides to him; he was beautiful, absolutely gorgeous, and he was so powerful; probably the most powerful youkai in any land, not just the western and southern lands. Did she not already believe that even Lord Balthazar of the demon lands desired his power? But why would he? Did he truly think that would help him effect his escape after 5000 years? But no, she could not think about that now. She needed to think about what she should do. She knew any other female youkai would gladly change places with her. Had the circumstances been different, she would have gratefully accepted her own position without question. But Sesshomaru refused to understand, refused to acknowledge that she had told him he was not indebted to her. He did not know her or her clan. He did not care about her. But he would accept a youkai's obligation without fail to protect his honor.

His honor. He believed it was his responsibility to care for the youkai that had protected his charges and had restored his brother to life; nearly dying in the process. He did not consider it appropriate if the lord of the western lands himself did not follow youkai rules of obligation. With his being her lord, even she, a hidenka, was subject to his whims and desires. But she was not like other youkai. She was a Suzaku life sorceress. Life had changed for them so long ago, but he knew this not. He cared not. If she thought he would care about such issues, she would have told him. Would she be forced to bow to his will if she stayed? She could not allow that; to ease his conscious simply so that he would feel he had done the correct thing was not acceptable.

Debts and obligations. Is that all there was to be had? Was that always to be a youkai's life? But was the world not changing? Could a youkai not want more? Could she not want someone to care about her, not simply care for her? As a life sorceress, she had been spared those obligations, but mainly because other than on rare occasions, she had restricted her services to Suzaku clan members that knew her destiny; clan members that essentially shared her destiny. Sesshomaru was not a youkai who could love, she knew that. But that had not prevented her from thinking such thoughts about him over the past weeks. She was a youkai that needed love; required it to survive. He was a youkai that needed only battles to complete him, which was fitting; he was a warrior after all. But she was not a warrior and she did not simply want a protector, she wanted a lover.

She had told herself if she stayed under his care for even one more day, her heart could well be lost. But was she fooling herself? Was her heart already lost to a youkai who could not love? How could she be so foolish? This must be the same pain her first generation mother had suffered. Was she wrong for wanting to experience the passion of love from her mate? Would she, herself, be wrong for wanting to experience the same passion from the male she chose as her mate? A passion Sesshomaru could never provide. But still, he seemed so controversial. There was a side of him that truly frightened her, but there was that other side; that side that seemed so compassionate and caring. 

She knew he would protect her. She remembered his concern over the well-being of his charges when her barrier was attacked during that battle with Princess Edera's errtu. She knew how he had taken care of her during her recovery. And then, there was that concern he seemed to display when she had collapsed because of that ningyou youkai. He had lifted her into his arms so… caringly. Then, there were those stories Rin had spoken of. How he had saved her. How he had saved Jaken. To do that Sesshomaru had to be filled with such compassion. Was he truly? But even if he was, it was a compassion he kept locked away. He was a warrior and he would never display it to her. Oh, if only she could believe that one day, Sesshomaru, could be filled with such compassion that he would hold her in his arms because he truly loved and cared about her, not simply because she was his obligation.

But no, that would never be. She was a fool for even desiring such a thing.

She was a Suzaku life sorceress. She touched the lives of others and felt their pain. To have only pain in her own life would put her world out of balance. She could not mate with someone who would only tolerate her; especially when she knew what she currently felt for Sesshomaru was a great deal more than simple tolerance. But she also knew this was all her fault; all of this was because of her own foolish curiosity; a youkai's foolish curiosity.

If she had never touched the hanyou's soul, she would not be in this predicament now. Almost the minute the thought entered her head, the hidenka was immediately stunned by them. What a horrible thought. How could she be so selfish, to think only of herself? If she had not touched the hanyou's soul, he, himself, might not be alive today. She would never have been able to tell Sesshomaru that he was endangered and he would never have killed Princess Edera. Instead, young Inuyasha would have been stuck in this castle and probably would have succumbed to that succuvex's will, just like…. Just like…. Akatsuki hesitated momentarily, as her heart swelled with such sadness. She had saved her lord's brother, but had been unable to save her own sister/

But no, she could not think like that. How could she have even thought such a horrible thing. She had never considered herself a terrible youkai. What was happening to her? It was as if the thought had entered her head and she'd had no control over it. Did Sesshomaru's intent frighten her that much? If so, then there was no question about it, she could not allow it. She could not allow herself to turn into such a despicable being.

She knew because of her clan's curse and her role as a life sorceress, that she was provided more freedom to find a mate she loved than any other Suzaku clan member. She had the freedom to travel to any of the Suzaku villages in the hopes that one day she would find a mate she loved who also loved her. But she had never looked at it as a mate hunting trip; she had only followed the requirements of her heart to assist other youkai. But she knew even she would be obligated to find a mate soon. Sesshomaru, likely knew nothing about her clan or the curse they endured; but that was not something generally known outside their villages. Of course the Suzaku clan members no longer looked at it as a curse, as much as an evolution; but that did not change the beginnings of their historical progression.

Besides, she knew all too well what would happen. Over time, she would not simply want Sesshomaru to be her protector. She would wish him to be her mate. But she could also imagine his humiliation to be the mate of a youkai who was not only _not_ a warrior, but a youkai who desired passion from her mate. She could never condemn him to such a fate. He was her lord, but she already cared more for him than she should for her lord. That is why she had to leave now; before her heart cared more. Because already, her heart would never allow her to injure him in such a way.

If she had to be obligated to mate, then she would be better off mating with Ōji Akimaru of the southern Suzaku clan. That was an obligation her own clan expected her to fulfill to unite the two clans. And then, Ōji Akimaru was always asking her when they would make their mating process official. She did not love him, and he knew that; but he loved her any way. She did not wish to mate with him, because that would put the Ōji in the same situation she, herself, hoped to avoid - to mate and be unloved. But perhaps she could learn to love him in time; because she knew he would be kind to her, he would care for her; he would also care about her. He would show her that passion, she so desired.

Sesshomaru would never be able to love her. From what she sensed in his brother's soul, even Inuyasha did not believe he had a heart. But she had at least sensed that he did. She sensed one that said he did care about his brother, but he did not know how to let him know. If he could not show his own brother that he cared, what chance would she have of ever reversing that. To mate and be unloved would be much too painful for her. She would die, slowly, but surely. As a life sorceress, that was a reality she had to live with. That was her curse. She would not allow it, she could not.

Akatsuki turned and looked at her surroundings with a wary eye. Sesshomaru would undoubtedly arrive shortly to talk to and care for her; thus sending her head and heart into further turmoil. She had to decide before then.

Moving her vision to scour the room, the hidenka searched her mind for what to do, until her sight lighted upon her hebikinu outfit thrown across a chair arm. Inuyasha had fled from him. But she was not his brother, she was his subject; she had no such freedoms, and he had been generous and cared for her. He had returned to the Suzaku clan and retrieved her handmaidens. He had even allowed her handmaidens to take his dragon back to the western Suzaku castle. Sesshomaru had even been thoughtful and nursed her during her illness. And then, there was that concern. To simply toss aside his efforts of protection would place her life in jeopardy. If her lord would wish to be the protector of a youkai he knew nothing about to protect his pride, then surely he would take the life of any youkai that did not show him the respect he deserved.

Akatsuki's conscience tugged at her; she would not be showing her appreciation if she fled. Her lord deserved her respect simple because of who he was, but she would not be showing it after all he had done. But what else could she do?

_I will not discuss this further._

Sesshomaru would not hear her words. He was bound and determined to become her protector to essentially protect his pride. But to leave, could she truly do that? No, not could she do that, did she truly wish to? Even though Sesshomaru did not care about her, she did care about him. To leave now, would likely mean her death anyway. How could she leave him when she cared so much for him? Did she already love him? She did not know. She only knew that to leave him could break her heart and likely cause her death, but to stay with him and be unloved, would guarantee it.

She was not even certain her life force had returned sufficiently enough to enable her to fly.

_If you cannot fly on your own accord; you should not be on your own._

Perhaps she should ask Sesshomaru to accompany her; but no, that thought was foolishness in itself; it would be a major imposition. He would see it as nothing more than her dependence on him. She did not want that. Besides, if he had wanted to do such a thing, he would have proposed it himself. But he had insisted that she be completely well before she departed, that way, she could make it back on her own, and then he would likely speak to her father and his protection would fall into full bloom. She, herself, wanted to show him that she was capable of depending on her own strength and abilities. She did not want him to believe she needed him to protect her.

But, even to leave tomorrow as she had told him she would; might be too quickly. She was still weakened, and she knew that, but she had planned to call for Adona, because she had essentially understood his intent while they all sat together. She knew it was best if she had informed him of her plans to depart before things had been carried too far. But that had not seemed to matter. Sesshomaru had seen that as nothing more than another possible threat to a youkai he already felt obligated to protect. Her only choice now, seemed to be to flee. But that was not her custom. She had never fled from anything or anyone. She had never had cause to; but Sesshomaru would not hear her. Oh, but she did not truly wish to leave him, not like this. If she did, how could she know that he would not seek her out and kill her for disrespecting him in such a manner? How could she be certain that he would not do to her clan what he had done to Princess Edera's errtu?

_I will not discuss this further._

No, Sesshomaru could never be what she wanted nor needed him to be; a warrior who loved his mate. 'Oh Sesshomaru,' Akatsuki cried silently to herself; 'Why could you not love?'

She had no other choice. She did not wish to merely be tolerated by anyone. Ōji Akimaru would not simply tolerate her. He would care about her. Perhaps he would be her best choice, perhaps even her only choice. Perhaps she should go to him now and make the process official as he desired; then Sesshomaru would no longer feel he had an obligation to fulfill. He was an honorable youkai; he would surely step aside. Or perhaps he would kill her and the Ōji, because he would want no one to know that she had disrespected him he had allowed her to live.

But she, herself, had no choice. What she was doing was despicable and she knew that. To flee, would essentially be telling the youkai lord himself, that he would be an insufficient protector and mate. But she was a life sorceress. It would be okay, Sesshomaru would understand, she rationalized as she undressed from her formal garments and slid the hebikinu onto her body. He would know her intent was not to insult him as a potential mate, but to protect herself. He would know that as a life sorceress her heart was different from most youkai. But would he really?

_You are youkai, why do you cry?_

But still, she believed she understood him; he was a powerful youkai lord who would not wish to leave a debt unpaid. If she were not there; if she were already mated, Sesshomaru would not feel that obligation.

Akatsuki moved toward the window and stopped as she turned back toward the shoji screen door. She would likely never see him again, she thought. His pride would not permit him to pursue her. He would want nothing further to do with a youkai who had dared disgrace him in such a manner. But then, perhaps his pride would force him to pursue her. He may well feel he had to take the life of the youkai subject who dared dishonor her lord in such a manner. That would, of course, be his right. She only hoped if he did, that he would spare her clan. If he did, indeed, choose that as his option, she would have to accept it, reluctant though she might be; but she could not mate with a youkai if it meant she had to live a life without love.

But, Sesshomaru was an honorable youkai. Did his efforts to become her protector not prove him to be so? He would understand, she reasoned; and he would accept it, she told herself as she garnered all her strength to flare her youki. He was not an unreasonable youkai; she had sensed his heart after all. He was prideful, but he was not unreasonable.

Believing she had no other choice, Akatsuki energized her youki and vibrated the air around her to lift herself through the open window and depart. She would simply get a few miles away, then call for Adona; but failing that, perhaps she could make it to the southern Suzaku compound. It was after all only about 25 to 30 miles away. This was the right thing to do; it was the only thing to do. Her departure would let Sesshomaru know that he was not indebted to her.

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Hearing a faint, muffled scream in the distance, Sesshomaru snapped his head sharply toward the large opened window and listened. Was he wrong, or did that sound like Akatsuki's voice?

Noting his brother's concentrated actions Inuyasha watched silently. His hearing was not nearly as acute as Sesshomaru's, so he had heard nothing.

Sesshomaru closed his eyes and listened intently.

"Sesshomaru?" Inuyasha questioned.

The youkai lord lifted his palm to silence the hanyou, then moved toward the window and listened again, but nothing. Then he scented it, the faint smell of blood carried by the wind and he was gone. He had exited through the window so quickly he had completely forgotten he had removed his boots until one of the indoor slippers slid from his feet. Growling in annoyance as he looked down, the youkai lord simply shook the other off as well, and proceeded to his destination.

"Sesshomaru?" Inuyasha called out in puzzlement, rushing toward the window to watch his brother fly away. Kicking off his own slippers, he leapt to the ground in pursuit of Sesshomaru using his only mode of transportation, large leaps that resembled flying, or at least as close as he could get to it, because now he scented it too.

Following the scent of Akatsuki's blood Sesshomaru sped toward the edge of a cliff not far from the castle and looked down upon her crumbled broken body sprawled lifelessly on the ground beneath him; a look of stunned apprehension covered his face.

Akatsuki had...fallen...alone, with no-one, nothing to break her fall; but she was a youkai, a full youkai, and the cliff had not been that high. But she'd already been weakened, and she had been trying to fly. How far did she fall? he wondered, as he looked toward the bottom of the cliff, allowing his gaze to rest on her unconscious face.

With his own heartbeat nearly at a standstill, the youkai lord flew to the grounds below, listening intently for the sound of Akatsuki's heartbeat as he grew closer. With the slow, but resounding thumps resonating loudly in his ear, his own breadth slowly relaxed as he closed in and knelt beside her.

Akatsuki had clearly hit her head when she fell; now she was unconscious. What he had feared would happen, had actually occurred because she was trying to... No, Sesshomaru would not allow himself to think about why. He did not want to know why; not yet. He wanted only to know that the wounds were not severe. But he could see that she had broken the bone in her right collar and her arm, apparently as she tried to break her fall. Her blood pooled freely beside her. Reaching out, the youkai lord lifted and turned her over, but despite his gentle attempt, his breadth caught as her head fell limp in his palm. Sesshomaru spotted the sight of her blood as it streamed down the side of her face, matting her white hair against her skin; trickling into the corner of her eye from a deep gash on her forehead. With a clear understanding of the underlying meaning behind the sight before him, an anger festered deep within the pit of the youkai lord's body, but Sesshomaru's thoughts remained focused on nothing but the well-being of the youkai hidenka.

He knew even a shallow wound above the eye would bleed profusely, and this wound was not shallow. Holding her securely, he pressed his fingers lightly along her temples in hopes of determining the extent of her head injuries. Sliding his palm over her cheek and underneath her hair as he brushed it from her face, he searched frantically for additional head wounds. His fingers stroked the curve of the wound above her right eyebrow, then the other as he let them slide down her cheek bones and around to the back of her head, feeling for broken, crumbled bones. Thankfully, there seemed to be none.

Gently lifting her torso upward, careful not to provoke her condition, the youkai lord used his fingertips to probe for additional damage. His fingers traced the curve of her back, around to her left shoulder then her left arm, searching for any concealed damage; and his lungs exhaled a short breadth.

Looking down at her unconscious face, he knew he needed to stop the blood flow, as he watched it flood down the side of her face.

"Sesshomaru, what happened? Is she okay? Why is she out here?" Inuyasha called out, making his way to the bottom of the cliff just as the youkai lord lowered his head and licked the blood from the wound above Akatsuki's right eye then slivered his tongue across the wound to seal it and hopefully speed the healing process. Taking her arm in his hands, he methodically pulled, then pressed the broken arm bone back into place, then blew his breath across the swelling wound, penetrating the skin, hoping to ease any pain she might feel even in her unconscious state. Unable to do more where they were situated, he lifted her into his arms and flew upward.

"See if you can find something for bandages," Sesshomaru called down to the hanyou as he flew back toward the castle.

Fully aware that he would have argued profusely about being ordered around before, Inuyasha scooted back to the cliff ledge and followed him back toward the castle, with every intention of carrying out his wishes.

Taking Akatsuki back to her bedroom, Sesshomaru laid her on the bed, then removed his swords, resting them at the foot of the bed, then entered the small water closet to retrieve water and a towel, before turning his attention back to the hidenka. Utilizing his claws, he reached into the seam of her already damaged hebikinu so that he could rip it open to carefully slip it from her arm, paying particularly careful attention as he slid the clove-like material down and over her broken collar bone. Ensuring that he had not missed anything at the bottom of the cliff, the youkai lord lightly wiped the blood from her face and hair, then used is fingertips to trace the scar above her right eye, before blowing his breath once more, and re-probing her body for any missed broken bones. Satisfied that there were none, he again blew his breadth gently across the swelling in her arm and collar bone, allowing the heat from his breadth to penetrate the skin in hopes of easing the sting of pain and accelerate healing. Finally, he covered her with the bedding and anxiously awaited his brother's arrival.

"Sesshomaru the only thing I could find was some sheets," Inuyasha said handing the sheets to him. "I guess no one ever got hurt under Princess Edera, or she just didn't give a damn."

"Probably the latter," Sesshomaru offered as he took the sheets from his brother's hand, placing one on the bed behind him, and shaking the other free of its folds.

"Is she hurt badly? Is she going to be all right?" Inuyasha asked with an anxious lilt to his voice. "What do you think she was doing out there?" he asked, then immediately wished he hadn't when he saw his brothers face.

"She is unconscious from hitting her head, but her wounds are not too severe," Sesshomaru responded, fighting his internal anger. "I suspect because she was not fully healed after losing so much of her life force, it may take a little longer for her to recoup from this but she should be fine," he said, his voice not much above a whisper, as he tore one of the sheets into multiple strips. They were long strips and he only needed one or two to secure her arm in place while the bone knit, but he tore several more.

Inuyasha watched him closely, wondering if his brother was tearing so many strips to cover his anger or to keep him silent. He did note, however, that for a second time, Sesshomaru had not answered his question.

"That's a nasty gash above her head, but I finally got to see you use your youkai licking tactics on someone else," Inuyasha said, trying to offer what levity he could. "At least finally I'm not the only one who gets molested by you."

Despite his anxious state, Sesshomaru draped the strips of cloth across the edge of the bed as he almost smiled. "As I said before, for youkai, it is common practice for treating wounds, cuts, and reducing swelling around broken bones so that they heal more quickly," he said picking up the wet cloth he had retrieved from the water closet as he sat beside the hidenka and began to wipe more drying blood from her face. "The fact that she is not a member of the inu clan does not matter; broken bones are broken bones, so that technique should help her heal regardless."

"Is there anything I can do to help?"

"No," Sesshomaru almost snapped before looking up then quickly turning away, "but you can close the door behind you when you leave."

"Sure," Inuyasha said turning to leave, then stopping momentarily to study his brother once more. It was funny, but after only a couple of weeks of sitting and talking with him, he was finally beginning to understand him in some ways. The brief look he'd seen in his eyes before he'd turned away and the quiet tone of his voice told him the youkai lord was quite probably furious.

_You are not indebted to me, Sesshomaru._

Sesshomaru did not have to answer his question. Inuyasha knew the hidenka was trying to leave. His brother had damned near ripped his throat out whenever he was angry with him. Somehow though, he doubted if he'd do the same to the hidenka; exactly what he would do, though, he wasn't sure. Sesshomaru was not the type to appreciate anyone bolting on him. He could say what he wanted to about having an obligation to repay a debt, but it was pretty clear the hidenka didn't want to be with him. Inuyasha was fairly certain his brother was hurt by that blatant realization. With all the things he'd seen in the past couple of months, from saving his life and now this, he couldn't help but wonder if perhaps he had been wrong about his brother not having a heart. But heart or not, one thing for certain, he knew Sesshomaru was hurt by what the hidenka had tried to do.

Having cleaned the blood from the hidenka's forehead, hair and arms as well as wrapping and slipping a sling around her broken arm, Sesshomaru inhaled and exhaled deeply, then moved toward the chair near the window as he watched and waited while Akatsuki remained unconscious.

Taking another deep breath, he tried to direct his thoughts to anything other than the meaning of why she was laying in front of him like this now. He tried to focus on what his life had been like before. He even tried to long for his life as it had been before; but he could not. His life was changing; had changed. And the youkai lord now knew he could not say he did not want those changes to occur. The worst part of it was, he could not even say he believed his life had been better before those changes had begun.

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**A/N: Okay, so we have a better idea about what the hidenka is so worried about and we also have a little better idea why she's not an instant fan girl of dear Lord Sesshomaru, (even though she seems kind of close) but to try to run when she's still so very weak. And to try to leave our dear Sesshomaru; a little foolish don't you think? And poor Sesshomaru; I'm sure he had no idea that she would do something so foolish.**

We know he's pretty angry right now, but what is he going to do when she wakes up this time? Is he going to use his poison claws on her throat like he's done to his brother, or is he just going to throw her out? I seriously don't think she really wanted to hurt him, but I think she did. I still don't understand what she's talking about-dying? Does she mean a life sorceress will die if her mate does not love her? Why? That's kind of rough, isn't it?

By the way, what is all this constant talk about her first generation parents? What's the deal with them? Are they the same king and queen that Sesshomaru spoke about when he first met the hidenka? If so, didn't he say something about a battle? I wish she would tell someone what she's thinking of so we can stop guessing.  
-  
Akatsuki - (Aurora/Dawn)  
chichi-ue - (father)  
haha - (mother)  
hebikinu - (youkai snake skin)  
hidenka - (princess)  
ningyou youkai - (puppet demons)  
oji-(prince)


	34. Chapter 34 Sesshomaru's Heart

**Sesshomaru & Inuyasha: Brothers in Arms  
Sesshomaru & Inuyasha: Kyōdai de Busō**

**Shō 34-Sesshomaru's Kokoro**  
**Chapter 34-Sesshomaru's Heart**

Sesshomaru continued to sit in the large chair near the window watching and waiting, as Akatsuki remained unconscious. He fought himself internally to not conclude the meaning of her actions before she supplied her own answers. But many thoughts entered his head that he could not contain. Not the least of which was what would he do when she did supply her answer. What answer could she possibly provide that would justify such blatantly overt disrespect of her lord?

By doing what she had done, Akatsuki had thrown his protection back in his face. She had in essence proclaimed him unworthy of becoming her protector. No one had ever dared humiliate him in such a manner. He was not a youkai would tolerate such disrespect. Was that truly the ways of the Suzaku clan, to not uphold youkai obligations and run? Did they have no honor? He had not considered Akatsuki a youkai without honor, but in truth, he knew nothing of her or her clan. Is that why they had secluded themselves? Did she not realize the severity of her action? Did she not realize that as a youkai it was his right to seek retribution; but as her lord it was his right to take her life? Did she not realize she had endowed him with that right after such flagrant disrespect? But could he? He could not deny that this youkai puzzled him. She had caused confusion in his head that he could not recall ever before experiencing. There was something about her that festered in him and he was uncertain if he truly could uphold his rights or whether he would even wish to. He was uncertain if he would.

Several hours later, Sesshomaru watched as Akatsuki stirred gently beneath the bed covers. His expressionless eyes remained firmly fixed upon her face as her eyelashes fluttered briefly then parted slightly displaying the crystal blue of her eyes. She uttered a soft and gentle moan as she apparently sensed some discomfort from the broken bones in her arm and collar, not to mention possible sore muscles, as she gently lifted her right hand and pressed the pads of her fingers against the scar on her forehead that still clearly pained her. Finally, she looked down and saw the sling around her left arm and shoulder, securing it in place.

The youkai lord waited until she turned her head toward him and showed full recognition. A slight sign of surprise and disbelief enveloped her features as her vision lit on him. With her eyes firmly fixed, Sesshomaru asked the one question he had waited the past several hours to have answered.

"Why?"

Akatsuki's lips parted faintly, as she seemed to study something in his face, but no words were forthcoming and she turned away.

Furious, Sesshomaru nearly flew toward her, swiftly gripping her cheeks between his long slender fingers, forcing her to face him; to meet his eyes, as he glowered with anger. "You will tell me why your desire to flee from me, was so vital it was worth sneaking out in the middle of the night, risking your life? I am your lord; do you know what you have done?"

His tone was filled with an unmistakable fury and it sent a chill up her spine. Feeling the excessively firm pressure of his grip, Akatsuki's breath caught as she cowered beneath his grasp. Struggling to free herself from his immovable grip, her eyes quivered, her lips trembling as she sought to find the right words until finally, she slowly uttered the following, "Yes, I... yes, I… I do know what I have done," she responded, assuming he meant he must now take her life and resigning herself. "I know I am but your subject and your will is mine to obey," she said, acknowledging the wrongness of her act. "But I tried to tell you, Sesshomaru; you are not indebted to me. I do not wish to be repaid through your... guilt, and... " she hesitated momentarily as she focused on his features. His golden eyes looked so conflicted; so angered; so pained; but also so deeply intense, and she felt as if they were drawing her in, their vibrant breathtaking rich golden color uninterrupted except for a single slightly darker golden fleck in his left eye. His eyes seemed to look right into her very soul; something she was accustomed to doing to others, not having done to her. She also saw something else in his eyes; something wildly exciting, something darkly passionate, something dangerously possessive, and something furiously incensed. His mouth, too, even though tightly clenched, was captivating, and she found herself watching it, studying it, longing for them to touch her, until she realized what she was doing, then somehow, she shook herself from her own conflicting thoughts and forced the following to stumble from her lips. "I... I am a Suzaku life sorceress," she said as she attempted to explain, but believing there were truly no words that she could utter to express her regrets. "My heart is not as dispassionate as yours. I am a youkai who cannot spend my life with another who cannot love, or a youkai whose only desire… is to repay a debt."

Continuing to glare in anger, Sesshomaru did not immediately move, but eventually his grip loosened although he did not remove his hand. His golden gaze, though still furious, simply bore deep into her crystal blue eyes, unflinching as something tightened in his chest while he attempted to fully absorb her words - _I cannot spend my life with you to repay a debt - I cannot spend my life with you - I cannot... _

Slowly, the intensity in his gaze subsided as Sesshomaru lowered it, then softened it to one of resigned acceptance. The youkai lord was certain that this heart of his that was changing against his will; had stopped beating completely then, as his hand slipped away before he straightened his shoulders then moved toward the edge of the bed to retrieve his swords; his legs somehow, methodically creeping toward the door.

"When you are well enough, you are free to leave," he said, turning back to face her, his expression a cold, indifferent mask. He could not take her life, he decided; he did not truly wish to. "But not before," he said inflexibly, his voice commanding, his point made. "If you do not wish to be cared for by me, I _will_retrieve your handmaidens." He said as he continued toward the door, the air hanging thick, heavy and tensely silent between them, as the youkai lord, for reasons beyond his immediate understanding, found it difficult to breathe.

"Sesshomaru," he heard her call and stopped, but he did not turn to face her. "My ... my handmaidens will not be necessary."

Stifling his breadth inside himself, Sesshomaru's head dropped ever so slightly before he departed, closing the door behind him. In a sense, he was grateful for that small acquiescence. He had no desire to let her parents know that he had allowed her to further damage herself. Although he was not one to shrink from his responsibilities, he did not wish to have to explain the hidenka's latest injuries.

In truth, neither of them wished to.

Akatsuki watched as Sesshomaru exited through the doorway and slid it closed behind himself without bothering to give her a second glance. If she thought he hated her before, there was no question about what he felt about her now. How could she have been so foolish? He had chosen to spare her life. She had been uncertain that he would, but she had hoped. She had relied on the tolerance he had shown to her and the fact that he had never truly struck her as unreasonable. She knew she had risked his killing her, but she had hoped he would not. She had hoped he would understand. But that look in his eyes. She had thought she would see only her death in his eyes, but she did not. She would almost say what she saw was… pain. But could it have been? Could her act have possibly pained her lord to such a degree? Before, her decision had seemed so absolutely clear and so very right. It had seemed like the best thing to do. It had seemed like the only thing to do. But now, she knew she had pushed her lord beyond reason, and she simply felt so very foolish.

Looking down at the bindings on her arm, Akatsuki knew she had also put him through so much trouble to retrieve and care for her yet again. Why did she need passion in her life anyway? Why could she not just accept that he would care for her, even if he did not care about her? Did it truly matter if she died because her heart was not satisfied? No, she should simply have accepted that as her fate. She had risked her death anyway, by fleeing. It was her who had gone to him initially, was it not? It was her who had offered him her services. It was her who had touched the hanyou's soul and not dissolved the connection. She had known the possibilities of the obligations upheld outside her clan, but she had risked it regardless. She had assumed that her lord would not hold to such obligations, but never had she considered that his honor would force him to do nothing else.

Why had she simply not told him why she could not accept him as her protector? She had often said she did not look at the Suzaku clan evolution as a curse, but clearly she looked at it as her own personal shame. If she did not, she would have told him. Or was it that she was just too afraid of telling him that she could not accept him because she knew he could not love her? But was it truly because he was a warrior and she knew warriors did not generally love? Or was it more because knowing how much he already hated her, hated her magic, hated her clan, she could not live with the thought of allowing him to hate her for being a youkai that required love to survive? To reveal such a fact, would surely have disgusted him. She had convinced herself that to tell him that truth would have humiliated him to know that he might become the protector of a youkai who was not only _not_a warrior such as him, but a youkai that needed love from her mate.

But truly, did she think to reveal the truth would have hurt him, or hurt herself? She knew that even if he never loved her, she would eventually love him. She would be unable to prevent it. And their fate may well end in the same manner as her first generation parents. But could she have possibly hurt him any more than she just did by attempting to flee? She could not forget that look she had seen in his eyes. He would likely never care for her again, she was certain. He would leave her alone to heal and he would not come back. How could he? She was a youkai who had fled the protection of her lord without telling him why. Though she knew not why, he had spared her life, but she was certain he would never forgive her for what she had done. But she knew she could also never forgive herself.

Sliding down between the bed coverings, Akatsuki laid her head on her pillow and began to cry; a soft, soulless whimper. "Sesshomaru," she moaned softly. "I know I have no right to ask, but please forgive me," she pleaded between soft sobs. "I truly did not wish to hurt or dishonor you; please, please forgive me."  
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The castle was quiet; everyone had retired long ago. The only exterior sounds were the distant chirping of crickets accompanied by the brusque croaking of frogs, the soft rustling of the creek and the gentle breeze of the late evening wind as it fluttered softly through the trees. The youkai lord could even scent the approaching flurry of rain in the distance.

For the first time since he had brought her inside the castle after that battle, Sesshomaru did not sit at Akatsuki's bedside and watch her sleep this night. Instead, he retired to his room, rested his swords atop a dresser, then listened as he heard the soft sobs of her tears through the paneled wall that separated their rooms. Moving slowly toward it, the youkai lord pressed his palm firmly against the wooden panel, as he closed his eyes, allowing his head and shoulders to droop.

_I am a Suzaku life sorceress. I cannot spend my life with a youkai who cannot love._

Is that truly why? What was it about Suzaku life sorceresses that he did not know? Is that why just being near her confused him so? But even so, where was she trying to go? He wondered. Had she truly thought her strength had returned sufficiently enough to enable her to return to the western lands, or had she simply not cared? Was her only concern to escape from him, and she cared not for anything else, even her own life?

_Is that why she's so sad now?_

Was that also not to be his responsibility as well; to protect her from whatever troubled her so? But now, the tears she shed that he had wanted so desperately to end; had been caused by him and he knew not why.

_I feel like I do know her, or I guess like I know her sadness._

Her sadness, how much had she been forced to endure? He wondered. Did the hanyou truly know her? He seemed to know of her sadness, something he had not considered. But why had he not?

_I essentially_ know _your thoughts. Whatever you feel strongly about is reflected in your heart._

That is what she had told him when he had initially encountered her, but he had paid no heed to her words. He had held no interest in them.

_My heart is not as dispassionate as yours. _

How had he not considered the pain she must endure to sense a youkai's heart? How had he not truly considered the anguish she must have experienced when she had sensed his heart? He hated sorceresses. He hated her clan because they were not warriors. But did he hate her?

_Doesn't she have any rights?_

Youkai obligations supersede individual rights.

But clearly, they did not.

_I do not wish to be repaid through your... guilt._

Is that what he was doing? Attempting to repay his guilt? He had reconciled himself to his fate because he knew that had he done several things differently, she would never have been injured thus. Was it his guilt that had changed his disposition, or was it her? If so, what was it about her? Why did he possess any interest in such a youkai? Such questions did nothing to explain the confusion that possessed him of late.

_I am a youkai who cannot spend my life with another whose only desire is to repay a debt._

She had made no distinctions between her lord and any other youkai. Is that truly why she had done that? Because in her eyes he was no different than any other youkai, because he had not determined her desires?

Was that just another of the many differences between them? He wondered. She contained a warrior's power, but she was not a warrior. Her heart sensed the heart of other youkai, and his cared not.

Or did it truly not? Because now, he wanted nothing more than to take her into his arms and end her tears.

_The Suzaku clan has secluded themselves for thousands of years._

You said that before, but what does that mean? Why did they do that?

He had previously held no interest in such a thing. But did it matter now? He was released from his obligation. There was no need to discover that which was unimportant to him. But did that also mean he did not wish to know more about her? The youkai lord turned slowly and dropped his exasperated body onto the bed, pulling one bootless foot upward as he draped his right hand across his eyes, dangling his left arm above his head.

It was a peaceful night, but he had no use for sleep. A youkai such as himself could continue for several weeks on four to five hours of sleep. If Akatsuki were fully recovered, she could probably continue for half as long on the same. But if she were recovered he would not have much opportunity to sit and watch her sleep. He would not have much opportunity to sit and watch her do anything. It was not that he did not wish to sit with her now, because he did. There was nothing he wanted more. It was just that he could not. He could not sit there and watch her knowing she wanted nothing more than to run from him. He could not watch her dreaming face sleep, knowing it did not contain dreams of him. He could not sit with her knowing that she had no desire to have him as her protector, and yet know that what he, himself, felt for her was not anger.

It was over now; it was done. He need not be her protector. Whatever confusion he felt in his heart was his alone to endure. Akatsuki would not answer those questions for him. She wanted nothing more to do with him. It mattered not that he believed he did not wish to forego his obligation to her; it mattered even less that he believed he did care for her.

_My heart is not as dispassionate as yours. _

She was not a youkai who could love another if they could not love her in return. Having never truly loved before, he had no idea what that meant. He had never known a warrior who truly loved before. It was too insignificant a quality. He was far too powerful to desire such a thing.

Sesshomaru moved restlessly as the continued sound of Akatsuki's soft sobs assaulted his very heart. He was the youkai lord of the western lands. He had killed the mistress of the southern lands. This land was now also his to rule. Life was a constant battle, defending what was his. He had to restore order in the south, or he would have to worry about keeping other youkai out, praying that no one better than him showed up to claim his territory, although he did not consider himself vain to think that was unlikely. All his life, he believed he had wanted only to expand his territories and to become a power such that none would ever dare challenge him. All who would oppose him would die! He had no time to flitter around with matters of the heart. He had previously thought if that were to happen... well... that would be the end. There was no honor at his rank if he had no land, and so he would die fighting to protect it if necessary.

For now, he had no concerns that any youkai would dare challenge him. He knew not who this Balthazar was, and he cared not. Let him come for him if he dared. His life, itself, would simply be forfeit. He would build his castle and rule both the western and southern territories. But it was not the challenges from outside this castle that concerned him; it was the challenges contained inside these very walls.

He recalled when some time ago, the hanyou had implied he had no heart. In truth, he had always lived his life to project exactly that. He had cared for no one, and nothing. He neither needed nor wanted anyone in his life. But that had changed, slowly, but surely. Now, he felt… He knew not what he felt. He had Jaken, Rin, Inuyasha and Akat… but no, he did not.

He had always thought it was simply land and power he desired, but now, he believed there was something more.

Now... Now, he believed there was something he truly wanted. Now, he believed there was someone he truly needed. But he also now knew it would never be.

But did that even matter? No, it mattered not what he admitted to himself. Akatsuki had made it clear that she did not wish to be with him. He had never considered that as a possibility. He had assumed eventually she would gladly accept him, the powerful lord of the western lands, as her protector. She was unlike any youkai he had ever known. No, it was not simply that she possessed such fire power but was not a warrior, nor was it because her tears tore at his heart; there was something about her that he did not understand, and he believed he wanted to.

He had known many female youkai in his life, but other than using them to satisfy his biological urges over the years, he had never pledged himself to any, but for reasons beyond his immediate understanding, he believed he wished to do that now; because he had never had anything stir inside him the way they seemed to do for Akatsuki. Was this yet another failure to be attributed to him? Had he forced her to run, just like his hanyou brother had ran?

_You can't just order or make people do what you want, Sesshomaru._

He had never been a communicator. It had always been one of several qualities he had never wished to possess. But since Akatsuki had awakened, he had always enjoyed listening to her talk. She may not be a warrior, but her abilities endowed her with great wisdom. Now, he wondered if his lack of communication with her had been the cause of her attempt to flee. Or, had his intent to fulfill his obligation been so distasteful that she would not bare it? Or was it simply him that she had no taste for?

The youkai lord would have normally discarded the preposterousness of such a thought, but the reality of it could not be so easily dismissed. His life used to be orderly and structured. Now it was chaos and confusion. Before, everything went according to his will, now everything seemed to go against it. No, he realized now, what he felt for Akatsuki was a long way away from anger. And he also knew that he might never have previously been a communicator, but he knew he would find some way to conquer this.

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**A/N: I don't know about you, but I kind of thought that was a sad chapter. Has the hidenka finally gotten what she wanted? Sesshomaru will let her leave and not be her protector. Well what did she expect? You can't just run out on the youkai lord like that. And poor Sesshomaru, he tried so hard to show her that he did care, and was changing, but they were both foolish by not saying what was in their hearts.**

**I must admit, though, that last sentence where Sesshomaru thinks to himself that "he would find some way to conquer this," is sort of a take from one of my favorite novels – Pride & Prejudice by Jane Austin when the prideful Mr. Darcy realizes that he too, needed to find some way to communicate better.**

**Anyway, I still hope they can work out their problems**.

Akatsuki - (Aurora/Dawn)  
hidenka - (princess)  
youkai- (demon)


	35. Chapter 35 Brother to Brother

**A/N: Ahh, finally, Sesshomaru and Inuyasha together again. And they're actually trying to communicate as brothers, even though their conversation is still a bit tense. I know, we haven't seen much of them lately, but although I do want to make them friends, I am actually writing this story more for Sesshomaru, to see if he can really care for anyone.**

**Sesshomaru & Inuyasha: Brothers in Arms  
Sesshomaru & Inuyasha: Kyōdai de Busō**

Shō 35-Kyōdai ni Kyōdai  
Chapter 35-Brother to Brother

Having vacated the tightening confines of the castle walls several hours ago, Sesshomaru tried to gather his thoughts as he sat at the base of the same large tree he had sat at with Akatsuki after she had collapsed because of the ningyou youkai's dark magic. There was a time when he would have sat and surveyed his new land with pride. He had finally accomplished what he had sought all his life; an expanded territory. But this day, this thoughts were otherwise occupied.

What was happening to him? He wondered. Edera had appeared at his camp and laid a challenge at his feet, but he had killed her not. He has since taken her life, but what tribulations could he have avoided if he had taken her life then? Akatsuki had also challenged him when first they met and he had spared her life as well.

_Settle your thoughts, but do not come if you care for him not. I will know your heart and be unable to assist you and Inuyasha will die. If that is your wish, then we are done._

She spoke to him in language no youkai should dare speak to their lord and yet, he had allowed her to live.

There was also a time when he walked his lands alone. Then, he had allowed Jaken to accompany him. But everything had remained as it should when he had done that. Yes, he had protected him untold times, but those efforts made no difference to his values in life.

But then there was Rin. Many things had changed when he had allowed her to accompany him. But she was no more than a helpless human child. Protecting her had not caused such emotional uncertainty within him. Once he had restored her life, he could do nothing but protect her; though he would have admitted such a thing to no one. It was not until he had taken on the hanyou that his acts appeared to be driven by an emotional attachment of sorts. Why else would he have spared _his_ life after he had clawed his face opened after that unprovoked attack? Because of a silent vow? He had convinced himself that to take his life after having nursed him would have made his efforts to save him pointless. Nothing this Sesshomaru did would ever be deemed pointless.

But then, he had pursued him to Edera's castle. He had even accepted Akatsuki's assistance to locate him. He had allowed her to assist him in ways he had allowed no others. But then, Akatsuki had essentially declared him an unworthy protector as well as potential mate by attempting to flee. She had in essence, dishonored him; the lord of two lands by taking the steps she had taken. He had never been so dishonored, and yet, he had again spared her life. Why had he simply not killed her? If he had, would he have removed this confusion? Did he derive pleasure from such blatant disrespect? Had he not killed her because he was growing soft? Were these changes in his heart turning him into a spineless youkai?

Or had he not taken her life, because he had nursed her and he could again not allow his efforts to be deemed pointless? Or was it because of her apparent acceptance of her potential demise at his hands. Or was it because she had assisted him and nearly died, and for reasons still beyond his understanding, he did not wish to see her suffer further injury?

She had released him from his obligation when she had fled, but that did not relieve him of this innate desire he possessed that still wished to protect her. If he had taken her life, would his thoughts be more settled? But in truth, he did not wish that-to take her life-despite his rights. He had initially not wished to become her protector; but in caring for her over these past weeks that had changed.

Initially Akatsuki was to be his obligation because she had been damaged while protecting those under his care, but she had made her own desires known when she had literally thrown her life back in his hands. Would she now show him her determination to be away by utilizing her healing abilities despite her already weakened state? If she did, why should that bother him? Was it because it was not her attempt to flee that troubled him? Was it because he felt no true dishonor from her act, only a sense of … defeat? Was it because he, in fact, simply felt more of that persistent confusion that had assaulted him of late? He did not know, but he knew he would do what he must to eliminate this.

_I am a Suzaku life sorceress. I cannot spend my life with a youkai who cannot love._

Her words haunted him. Was that the fate of a youkai who was not a warrior? To require love? He had never known a warrior to require such a thing. But what were these confusing sensations that thrashed his own head and chest of late? He had never felt such uncertainty. Such a thing was highly unacceptable. He could allow this to possess him no further.

It was a clear summer morning, and as the sun began to peek out across the eastern horizon, the youkai lord scented his hanyou brother rushing toward him and closed his eyes briefly.

_If you want her to stay, just ask her._

He doubted anything could be that simple. He especially doubted this would be. His life had never been filled with such simplicities. But more importantly, he was uncertain if he would welcome the intrusion approaching him now. He knew the meaning of the events of yester evening had not escaped the hanyou's eyes. His intent had been to inform him of youkai customs. Should he now inform him of his right to take Akatsuki's life, but that he had not? Would the hanyou himself believe this Sesshomaru had grown weak?

The youkai lord had no desire to explain any of it. He could not explain it to himself. He also had no desire to be subjected to the hanyou's persistent and unending questions. He could at times be more annoying than Jaken.

"Are you preparing to train Rin?" Sesshomaru asked once Inuyasha had approached to conversation range.

"Maybe later, I think she's still asleep."

"So do you wish to be trained?"

"No, I…" Inuyasha didn't continue, simply taking an uninvited seat on the other side of the large tree next to his brother. He could tell from his disposition that Sesshomaru wasn't in a talking mood. He knew how that could be. But he'd come out here specifically to find out if Sesshomaru actually did want to talk. He was certain Sesshomaru wasn't happy with the events of the previous night and he was concerned about what he would do.

"So why are you here, Inuyasha?" Sesshomaru asked, although certain he did not truly wish to know.

"Actually I was just wondering whether you wanted some company."

"Company? For what purpose?"

"Well, I heard you leave earlier, and I guess I was wondering what you were doing out here."

"I am enjoying the morning sun," Sesshomaru responded without even diverting his gaze toward him. "I had thought you would still be asleep."

"I don't sleep _that_ much, do I?" Inuyasha asked, knowing he had taken up the habit of sleeping a lot more than he usually did now that they all stayed in the castle. He had initially tried to tie it in to all the traveling he'd been doing lately to find land for Sesshomaru's castle or to seek help for staffing this one, but then he'd tried to convince himself it was all the training his brother made him endure; but he knew that wasn't true either because he'd been up, active and alert most of his life, he had to be. The only difference now is that he was with Sesshomaru who rarely ever slept. He felt safe just knowing his brother was there to protect everyone in the castle.

The two remained silent for quite some time until Inuyasha simply decided to ask. "Are you all right?"

Sesshomaru did look at him now. "I am undamaged, why would you ask such a thing?"

"Well, I guess I wondered if you wanted to talk."

Sesshomaru refocused his gaze elsewhere. "About?"

"Anything," Inuyasha said unsheathing his Tetsusaiga and resting against it. He couldn't help but think how funny it was that everywhere his brother went, he always found the largest tree to rest against. "Anyway, how is the hidenka?"

Fighting the thoughts that immediately crowded his head, Sesshomaru closed his eyes momentarily as he leaned back against the tree, resting his palms against his knees. "I have not seen her for several hours," he said resisting the urge to depart. Despite his preference to be alone with his personal thoughts, he knew it was still his desire to make peace with his younger brother, and unfortunately, if that required his allowing him to intrude into some aspects of his life to gain his trust, he would make that effort. "But she is currently recovering. I believe she will be fine."

"Sesshomaru, are you angry at her?" Inuyasha asked, his hand reflexively flying to his throat.

Noticing his brother's movement from the corner of his eye, the youkai lord responded only, "No, I am not." Surely Inuyasha did not truly believe he would have done the same to her. Despite his right to take her life, there was something about her, though he did not understand what, that would not allow him to see her suffer further damage.

"Anyway, I'm sorry."

"About what?"

"About what happened last night," Inuyasha responded rather listlessly. He could not help but feel guilt over whatever Sesshomaru was going through.

"You mean the hidenka's current injuries? That was not your fault."

"No, I mean about everything that happened."

"What are you talking about?" Sesshomaru asked, not following him.

"Actually everything," Inuyasha said lowering his head rather dejectedly. "Everything that happened since we got here," he said, unable to dislodge the thought that whatever was happening, was all because of him. "Do you need help taking care of her? I know you've been doing that since her handmaidens left, but I can help. I want to. This is all my fault after all."

"Do you like her?"

"Huh? Well…, yeah, I guess," Inuyasha responded slightly uncomfortably. He wasn't sure why Sesshomaru had chosen to ask him that. "I haven't seen much of her because of her injuries. But she seems nice, but what do I know?" He asked rhetorically as he leaned back against the tree, gripping his Tetsusaiga between his legs. "If I hadn't been such a fool and rushed out here into the middle of something I had no business being in the middle of, none of this would have happened. All I know is unlike Princess Edera, Hidenka Akatsuki didn't seem to have any ulterior motives for pretending to enjoy listening to my stories. I think she actually did."

"That _was_ unwise, Inuyasha," Sesshomaru said quietly, realizing that so many things in his life had changed because of the hanyou's defiance and his acts to recover him. Every step from that point had led him here. "When rushing into battle, one must fully understand the why's of what one is doing; and one should never rush into a battle simply because they are angry at another who is totally unrelated to that battle."

"You mean another, like you?"

Sesshomaru diverted his gaze toward the young hanyou. "Yes."

Inuyasha leaned more snugly against the tree. "Yeah, you're right. I should have known better. But the thing is, I wasn't _really_ angry at you then," he said, then grew quite once more. He really didn't know why he had done the things he'd done then, except in an attempt to get his brother to say that he cared about him. But other than the fact that his acts seems to have complicated Sesshomaru's life, he couldn't exactly say he had regrets about doing it really. His brother was finally starting to talk to him. He'd waited all his life to be accepted by him. Now, it almost seemed like he was. "Sesshomaru, do you remember before when you said you thought our oyaji would always be watching over us?"

The youkai lord diverted his gaze slightly to study him.

"If he is, what do you think he's thinking now?"

"About what?"

"About us; his sons?"

"In regards to?"

"Everything. What's happening in our lives, what we're doing?"

"Inuyasha, you are sounding too human. You are not."

"I know that, but you've always accused me of having human feelings. I don't know, maybe I do. But at least, I acknowledge that I have them. During that chase for Naraku, there were a lot of times I wished I had someone I could talk to. I mean really talk to. And that's funny, because I'd never had that in my life. But some of the stuff that bastard did was just so...," Inuyasha hesitated as he remembered all the pain Naraku had caused; as he remembered how he'd felt after Urasue had brought Kikyo back to life and she'd accused him of betraying her; as he remembered how he'd felt after Naraku had finally killed Kikyo. "But even though I had friends, I guess most of the time I still felt like I was alone."

Sesshomaru did not respond. So, the hanyou had not been as comfortable around his friends as he had thought.

"No matter what you might think, you're not alone, you know," Inuyasha said as he peered around the tree at his older brother. He wasn't really sure why he was trying so hard, except that Sesshomaru had reached out to him; and now, he felt it was up to him to try to show that he was trying to reach back. "Now that we're all here, even I don't feel like I'm really alone anymore. I guess I kind of feel like... I have you."

The youkai lord's eyes widened as he continued to stare straight ahead.

"I know we're not friends, but we are family, aren't we," Inuyasha asked, but did not wait for nor did he expect a response. "There's a castle full of people here, and there's going to be a lot more soon enough. I could probably even start bringing in some guards in a few days if you want."

"Do as you wish. Though I will want to review them, you will be their general," Sesshomaru said, wondering what the true purpose of the hanyou's visit was.

"Anyway, I kind of like those gatherings we have every night. I almost feel like if something bothered me, I could ... talk to you about it."

Sesshomaru still did not respond; he simply listened. He'd had no idea the hanyou himself was undergoing such changes in his acceptance of him.

_I don't need a brother._

The youkai lord reflected on what he'd said when he came to retrieve him.

"What about you?"

"What about me?"

"Well, the hidenka," Inuyasha decided to get to the point. "You care for her, don't you?"

Knowing full well what the hanyou was asking, Sesshomaru did not immediately respond. That was something he had not fully rationalized to himself; or at least not the level of how much he might truly care. There was no longer any need to deny to himself that he did feel something for Akatsuki, but that was simply because he had grown accustomed to caring for her. But she had already been damaged twice under his protective watch; not to mention nearly a third time and she, like everyone else in this castle, was under his protective care whether she wished it or not. That is why he had spared her life after all, was it not? "The hidenka was to be my obligation to protect, nothing more," He protested. That was, in fact true.

"Ahh, come on, Sesshomaru, I know you can't mean that."

"Of course I do, I have already told you..."

"Yeah, you did," Inuyasha interrupted not wanting to hear his brother's protests anymore. "But that was before wasn't it. What about now?"

"And now, she is not," Sesshomaru retorted indifferently, though not comfortable in stating that particular fact despite knowing that to also be true.

"And it's that simple for you?"

"She is her own person," he said a little reluctantly. "She is free to do as she pleases."

"So you're just going to let her go?"

"I am certain Hidenka Akatsuki has an unknown quantity of guards at her command," he tried to rationalize to himself, though he knew that would have held no weight if she were a youkai that adhered to youkai rules of obligation. "She clearly does not require an additional protector."

"I'm not talking about that."

"Then what _are_ you talking about?" Sesshomaru wanted to know. The hanyou's questions seemed to volley in many directions, but he was certain he was trying to make a point, even if he himself, did not know what it truly was.

"Look I know you said you formed a bond with Kagura, but I don't know, maybe I'm wrong, but have you ever...?" Inuyasha paused then restarted. "I mean, I just get the feeling you've shielded your emotions for so long that maybe you wouldn't...," he paused and restarted yet again. "I mean I was just wondering if you would really even..."

Sesshomaru turned his head to study him. "Inuyasha, discussing such things are beneath the status of a youkai lord. It makes one appear imprudent and weak. I am not," Sesshomaru stated adamantly. "But if your question is what I believe it truly is, let me say that I am a youkai that has lived for over 500 years. What do you think? I have no need to declare such..."

"I think I'd like to know if you're just going to let the hidenka go." Inuyasha interrupted once more. He knew how long it had taken for Sesshomaru to show him any kind of friendship. He couldn't exactly say he knew why he did, but he was only his brother. From the look he'd seen on his face, he would have sworn the hidenka meant more to him on a different level than he did. But then maybe that look wasn't what he thought it was at all.

Sesshomaru's head lowered briefly. "I told you once before, Inuyasha. Love is a need for humans and perhaps even for hanyous," he said but hesitated as he recalled Akatsuki's words.

_I am a Suzaku life sorceress. I am a youkai who cannot spend my life with another who cannot love._

"It is not required for youkai," He continued nonetheless.

"Not required, what is that supposed to mean?" Inuyasha almost demanded. Is this what he wanted so badly when he wanted to become a full-fledged youkai? To become just like Sesshomaru? Other than what Sesshomaru had told him about their rules and obligations, he really didn't know what it meant to be a youkai, except all the power they seemed to have. But if he remembered anything from his own life, love wasn't exactly something he had planned. It just happened. Couldn't it sneak up on Sesshomaru too; or was he really that different? "Are you trying to tell me that you guys have no hearts? That you never love?"

"This is not the first time you have implied I have no heart, Inuyasha," Sesshomaru said, uncertain why such a thing was important to the hanyou. "Because it is not filled with emotions such as yours, does not mean I do not have one," though weary of the conversation, Sesshomaru's tone retained its calm steady nature. "I am certain you are aware that most living beings possess one, whether they deem it necessary or not."

"I didn't mean it like that," Inuyasha said thoughtfully, although he couldn't really figure out if there was any difference between what Sesshomaru meant and his not actually having a heart. "Sometimes you make me think like that, but I know you do. I know because..."

"Because?" Sesshomaru asked after a couple of minutes.

Inuyasha didn't immediately speak. He wasn't sure if he wanted to dredge this subject up again, or whether it would even be wise to do so. "Because you take care of Rin and because... because you ... you came for me," he turned away, remembering all the emotions that had overwhelmed him when Sesshomaru had come back that night. "I didn't really know what was going on in this castle until after you left," he said, remembering the conversation he'd had with Sarula finally. "But I have a pretty good idea that you did. I figured out that you and the hidenka came here to save me because you did."

Sesshomaru studied him for a few moments, but he did not respond. It was clear the hanyou still felt guilt over Akatsuki's initial injury but that did not truly matter. Nor did it matter that there were any number of things he, himself, could have done to ensure a different outcome, because Akatsuki had now released him from any obligation. "Inuyasha, you need not concern yourself with what happened to the hidenka. I have told you, that was my responsibility."

"But how did you know?"

"How did I know what?"

"How did you know where to find me?"

"Hidenka Akatsuki came to me and told me."

"Well how did she know?"

"I told you that she came to know of you when you were sealed to that tree."

"Yeah, but ...,"

"What I did not tell you is Hidenka Akatsuki is a life sorceress."

"A life sorceress? What is that?"

"I do not fully know, because the Suzaku clan is an enigma even to I, Sesshomaru," the youkai lord confessed, knowing it was more Akatsuki that puzzled him than her clan. But then, perhaps it wasn't so much her as it was his own foolish indecisiveness around her. "But I do know she has the ability to become one soul with a youkai, which enables her to feel and experience what they experience. Despite the fact that you are a hanyou, she was able to connect with you because you have chichi-ue's blood flowing through you."

"Our oyaji's blood? But what...?"

"It makes you a strong hanyou. Strong enough so that she was able to join with your soul without damaging you."

"Join with my soul. But why would she want to do that?"

"Curious I suppose," Sesshomaru said, having long ago decided there could have been no other reason for a life sorceress to wish to join souls with a hanyou. "Though youkai do not generally love, we can be curious. She wanted to know how you got yourself into such a predicament."

"Oh. But I was released from that seal for a long time, now. How did she know where I was?"

"At that time, she was still connected to you."

"At that time?"

"She is no longer. Her handmaidens severed the connection to help her recover."

Inuyasha hesitated as he thought about that. His mind was suddenly flooded with Sarula's words about Princess Edera.

_If she does touch you, she'll be able to read your very soul. Once she touches you, she'll know everything about you; everything you're thinking, everything you're doing, everything you're planning._

He'd felt and experienced a lot of things since he'd been released from Goshinboku, not the least of which was the delirium he'd felt when he'd cut off Sesshomaru's arm; the regrets when he'd almost killed him; the horror when he'd lost control and killed those bandits; the sadness when Kikyo had died; so many things. "But you mean we've been connected ever since I was sealed to that tree?"

"Essentially yes, but if you have concerns that she knows your entire life, she does not," Sesshomaru responded remembering how Akatsuki had said his soul had remained dormant in her until he had arrived at Edera's castle. "It was only when you came to Princess Edera that your soul awakened within her."

Inuyasha considered that. He'd had no idea. "Is that why I felt like I knew her?" Inuyasha wondered out loud. "But if it was only when I came here, what was so special about that?"

Despite having no desire to do so, Sesshomaru knew he would have to tell the hanyou everything, he, himself, was aware of. "Hidenka Akatsuki had a previous confrontation with Edera."

"A previous confrontation?"

Lowering his head slightly, the youkai lord diverted his gaze away from the young hanyou. "It is my understanding that what Princess Edera intended to do to you," Sesshomaru paused noticeably. From her tears, he knew how much this memory pained Akatsuki. It now pained him to realize that she had suffered through this alone, for so long. "She had already done to Hidenka Akatsuki's younger sister some 25 years ago; and she would not allow that."

"To her..." Inuyasha bolted upright as he started to repeat those words, but his brain was swamped with full understanding. "Oh crap! And you have her here, in this castle? Where her sister probably died? Shit, Sesshomaru. Shit."

"Enough, Inuyasha," Sesshomaru demanded. He needed no further reminders of his callousness. He could recount them well enough on his own. "That is secondary."

"Secondary? What the hell are you talking about secondary?" Inuyasha demanded as Sesshomaru reared back against the tree and closed his eyes. "She came here to save me from the same youkai who killed her sister, she almost dies in the process, and now she's stuck here in that succuvex's castle. How could that be secondary?"

"As I have said, the greater fault was my own in not ensuring she returned safely to the western lands before the battle began."

"How could that be worse than the fact that she did it all because of me; because she almost died because of me?"

The hanyou's scathing words brought to full clarity something the youkai lord had not previously considered-the pain Akatsuki must have suffered these past days to know he intended to become her protector-a youkai that not only could not love, but one that did not care. "Because it was I who allowed it despite knowing what happened to her sister. When Hidenka Akatsuki basically indicated that she could save you, I allowed her to do that as well. I allowed that without giving a single thought to how it might impact her well-being. I allowed that because I did not care how it might impact it. I allowed it because I had only one interest, and I would not..."

Sesshomaru stopped and Inuyasha looked at him with puzzled eyes, but it wasn't as if he thought he had stopped because he ran out of ways to fault himself. Inuyasha realized it was probably more that he stopped because he truly did feel responsible for the hidenka and he couldn't accept the fact that she wasn't interested in his protection.

Seeing his brother's pain and discomfort like this, unnerved the young hanyou. Sesshomaru was different; even though he still acted like he cared for no one; for the first time, Inuyasha believed he could see that he probably truly did. "Actually, I didn't come out here to talk about that."

"No, I did not imagine that you did," Sesshomaru sighed with a light breath.

Inuyasha turned to study him. "So what are you going to do?"

"What am I going to do about what?"

"Come on Sesshomaru, you know perfectly well what I'm talking about."

"I will do nothing. There is nothing to be done," he said rather matter-of-factly; as if he had already resigned himself to the actuality. "I will care for her injuries and I will allow her to leave when she is well."

"And that's it?"

"What do you want me to say, Inuyasha?"

"Sesshomaru, I saw your face last night."

"I know not what you are referring to, since I did not see it."

"Why are you so damned stubborn?" Inuyasha reared back against the tree in irritation.

"Stubborn? Why are you so persistently hard headed?"

"Hard headed. I'm not…

Sesshomaru shot a quick glance across his shoulder. "What is your point, Inuyasha?" he asked unnecessarily. It was clear exactly what the hanyou meant. "You must understand that I am not like you. If the hidenka does not require a protector, there is no need for her to have one."

"Don't you even care?" Inuyasha asked, diverting his gaze toward the youkai lord.

Sesshomaru did not respond to that. His brother asked questions to which he truly had no answers. What could he say? That he very much felt _something_ for her? That his uncertainty about exactly what he might feel was the reason he had not wished her to depart. That he was curious to explore more of those emotions surging through him to know exactly what they were. That once more because of his selfishness, the youkai hidenka had again been injured.

Though it was uncustomary for youkai to be rejected so, and despite the fact that no lord of the lands had likely ever been declined in such a manner; he would adjust. It was likely the primary reason the Suzaku clan had shielded themselves away from other youkai; because they did a number of uncustomary things that other youkai did not. But he did not fault her for doing that which she felt the need to do. "It does not matter, she is within her rights."

"But I thought it was an unwritten law," Inuyasha said, peering around the tree to study his brother once more.

"But it is not a law that cannot be broken," Sesshomaru said with little emotion. He decided he would not inform the hanyou of the repercussions Akatsuki had risked. "I suppose I should have said it is usually an understood obligation, but she is a Suzaku."

"So what does that mean? They don't follow youkai customs?"

"In truth, I do not believe they do, but I have no way of knowing since they do not roam freely among other youkai."

"So why don't you just take her back now?" Inuyasha puzzled, all the while wondering if Sesshomaru truly couldn't admit that he did care, or if it was something he just couldn't admit to him. "This way you won't have to be bothered with her anymore."

"I know not what you are trying to do Inuyasha, but you know I will not," Sesshomaru breathed a little heavier this time. The hanyou had a way of overstating the point he was trying to make, despite his own protestations to the contrary. "Even you would not do such a thing. If you think I _would_, simply to prove to _you_ that I am not in love; you are wrong," in truth, he might feel something, but this was not love, was it? He had never truly considered what love was, he knew it made one weak, but surely it was not this utter confusion that possessed him was it? "She is further damaged and it would be dishonorable and disrespectful for the lord of the western lands to return a youkai to her clan in such a condition."

"So let me take care of her while she's here. This way you won't..."

"Enough Inuyasha," Sesshomaru demanded, having no further desire to continue this conversation. "I am not so weak that simply caring for her will tear me apart. Life is as it should be," he declared, believing his acceptance of the outcome was the first step to returning his life to normalcy. "It is not something I had initially wished, and since it is not something she currently desires, it is simply not something I am obligated to perform."

Inuyasha grew silent for a couple of minutes before speaking again. "You told me once that you don't lie, Sesshomaru; and that's good," the hanyou said, resigning himself to his brother's stubbornness. "It makes you a much better man than I will probably ever be," he confessed despite believing that was probably just the smallest of several things that was different about them. "Because we both know that I haven't always been honest. But maybe one day you will admit that not everything is under your control. If that happens, I just hope you remember one other thing, it's good not to lie to others, but don't lie to yourself, either."

Sesshomaru once more, did not respond. He simply stretched both legs out in front of him and crossed one ankle over the other as he stared out across the horizon. There was nothing to be said, because he was fairly certain they both knew that for some as yet unknown, inexplicable reason, he believed he was lying to himself.

**A/N: I don't know, I feel like I kind of got lost in this chapter. I started not to include it at all, but I felt Inuyasha would have questions and I wanted to show Sesshomaru adjusting to Akatsuki's decision and wanted to show him as accepting it and that he was not some love sick youkai filled with confusion. Although I have no idea how long he will stay that way. He has not gone back and sat with the hidenka since he told her she could leave.**

I think he is still filled with confusion, but on a different level (like wondering why didn't he kill her). I think he acknowledges that he might care a little, but Sesshomaru adjusts, he always does. But that's the youkai I love!

Okay, so Sesshomaru is actually trying to talk to Inuyasha even if he doesn't really want to talk to him and he's not getting mad at him really? Well that's some progress isn't it? Maybe eventually they will be friends, I hope. Inu certainly seems to have settled into his life with his big brother. He certainly doesn't seem to have any problems coming up to him and talking to him about whatever he wants anymore. And I love the fact that they're not fighting!

Akatsuki - (Aurora/Dawn)  
chichi-ue - (father)  
hidenka - (princess)  
oyaji - (old man)


	36. Chapter 36 Getting Reacquainted

**Shō 36-Hirakeru Kaotsunagi  
Chapter 36-Getting Reacquainted**

Akatsuki had no idea of the state of her abilities and strength. She had never been in a position to be unable to do that which she believed she wished to do. But she had not realized that even after two weeks, the level of her abilities had still been so weakened after losing her life force that she would be unable to get even a short distance away to call for Adona until she had fallen.

To utilize her youki now in an attempt to heal herself would rid her of her brokened bones, but what would it do to her in the long run? Would she weaken herself further? Would utilizing her youki power leave her dependent on Sesshomaru for longer than anticipated, or perhaps even longer than he would wish? It seemed like no matter what she did of late, was wrong. Sesshomaru had spared her life, but she did not know why. She had much to make up for. She would do nothing to cause him any further undo distress.  
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Having accepted his decision to spare her life, despite his knowledge that Akatsuki did not wish to be with him, Sesshomaru remained bound and determined to care for her. He was still her lord, and she had done him a great service. He knew not what this ridiculous confusion was that had possessed him of late, but he would attribute it to no more than heightened curiosity for a member of a clan he knew nothing about and he would conquer it. He was the youkai lord of two territories. He would not allow himself to be defeated by such insignificant issues. In an attempt to follow through on his desire to be more communicative with her, the youkai lord decided he would show her and the hanyou both that he feared no one. He would check on her before joining his group this night, and thus set upon subduing this confusion.

Knowing Akatsuki had refused to eat since she had awakened, these past two weeks, and unwilling to take no for an answer again, Sesshomaru procured one of the small stable animals brought to him by the residents of the southern lands. Believing that like him, Akatsuki would likely be unable to consume human food, he did not even bother to consort with the head cook before killing and slicing the animal into small manageable pieces and placing it in a large bowl to present to her.

Surprised to sense her lord's aura outside her door, Akatsuki sat up when he knocked and tried to make herself presentable by pulling the bedding across her chest and securing it beneath her damaged arm contained by the sling, then pulling her hair across her shoulders in an attempt to conceal as much of the bandages as possible, but realized how foolish that effort was. Sesshomaru had put them on her, he knew they were there whether her hair covered it or not, so what was she trying to hide? But she hated the thought of being a reminder to him of what she had done. But still, if he surmised what she had now attempted, she might anger him further, would he change his mind and kill her for that? If only she understood him better. During the time she had her abilities shut down, she had become familiar with him, but still, she knew him not. If only she could sense his heart, she would know his thoughts.

"Come," she responded, her heart trembling and swelling with frightened emotion as the door slid open and Sesshomaru entered balancing two large bowls, several chops, as well as a carafe of water with a couple of glasses in his hands with several table napkins draped across one of his arms.

"Sesshomaru," Akatsuki began stunned by the fact that he had returned, and then to have what, brought food? Why had he simply not requested one of his servants do that? She knew he had retained others for such purposes. "I...I...," she stopped, refusing to say anything for fear of embarrassing him as he placed the bowls, glasses and the carafe on the table beside her bed. He had only come to present her with nourishment. She had not eaten for several days, not since before she had initially encountered him and even though she was able to withstand hunger for quite some time, in her weakened state even she could use some sustenance.

"You need to eat," Sesshomaru said, now removing and laying the table napkins across the small night stand, then removing his swords and resting them on a dresser before turning toward her. "I brought you nourishment."

"I..., oh..., thank you," Akatsuki managed to squeak out then looked down at the bowl's contents. But there were two bowls; was it his intent to have her eat both, or did he intend to eat with her?

"How is your arm," Sesshomaru asked reaching over to examine the break in her left arm by touch alone. "Are you in pain?"

"I am fine," Akatsuki said, grimacing slightly as he gently moved her arm. She had not expected to see him, let alone have him caring for her again. She had thought he would hate even the sight of her.

"I am pleased that you did not utilize more youki to heal yourself," Sesshomaru said, fingering the broken bone in her arm to determine its status. It was clearly still broken, but he could tell it was beginning to heal slowly. "You have not yet recovered from your previous injury, and utilizing additional youki would do nothing but injure you further."

Akatsuki continued to study him with puzzlement as he reached out and retrieved two table napkins, draping one across her lap, then leaning forward to wrap another around her neck. Lifting her head slightly to allow him access, Akatsuki continued studying him as he moved her hair to obtain better access. Sesshomaru was so close to her. She could feel his strength and the awesome power in his body. Except for when he was so angered at her, he had never truly been so close even though he had lifted her into his arms; she had never felt his power. Was it because she was looking at him with different eyes? She did not know, but now, he just seemed so very powerful, so beautiful and so extremely thoughtful. And to think, he could have been hers, if only...

Finished, Sesshomaru paused as he diverted his golden gaze down and looked into her eyes, but Akatsuki turned away with embarrassment.

"Can you manage this?" he asked as he handed her a fashionable chop. "Or would it be preferable for me to assist you?"

"No, I believe I will be fine," Akatsuki said taking the chop in her right hand and resting them against her lap. "Fresh bowled meat?" she stated, looking up at him with a disturbed expression covering her face; her blue eyes wide in obvious surprise. "But... but you do not normally take your nourishment in such a manner, do you?"

"No, I usually consume a large animal in my transformed state, and it sustains me for at least a month."

The youkai hidenka lowered her head in apparent regret.

"Is something wrong?"

"Sesshomaru, I apologize for being such a trouble to you."

"You are no trouble, but as my guest, I do not wish to have you eat alone."

Akatsuki studied the meal, inhaling the scent. "This is... fresh bovine, is it not?"

"Yes. Do you not eat fresh meat?"

"Unlike you, I am not a warrior, so it is not often part of my regular diet but I do eat fresh meat at times," Akatsuki said, then wished she had not so quickly pointed out the differences between them with that statement. She had made that so very obvious last evening when she had foolishly attempted to flee. The last thing Sesshomaru likely needed was additional reminders. "Besides, I believe the added nutrients are what I require now if I am to have any chance of healing properly. I simply wanted to be certain of its nature."

"Its nature?"

"I was afraid it might be left over from Princess Edera."

"I would never give you meat, left over from that succuvex," Sesshomaru said brashly, truly offended. "If she had left anything, it would no longer be fresh, and I am certain has been devoured by Ah-Un days ago."

"Ah-Un..., oh your dragon," Akatsuki realized whom he was likely referring to, though she had not met him. "I apologize. I did not...," she paused, then redirected her thoughts completely. She could apologize to him all day, but it would change nothing. She knew this discomfort she was experiencing around him was because of her own doings. "And it would not be bovine," Hidenka Akatsuki said, with a slight arch of her brow.

"Not bovine? What do you mean?" Sesshomaru's brows flicked in puzzlement.

"Princess Edera was a succuvex, which made her dangerous to youkai," Akatsuki clarified, having no desire to have her head filled with thoughts of that youkai, but she was well aware she likely knew more about her than her lord did. "But she was also a kuishinbou ninjen."

"A what?" Sesshomaru's head snapped upward at the familiar sound of that term.

"A kuishinbou ninjen."

"Why would you say that?" he demanded, remembering where he believed he had heard that term before.

"I am sorry; it was not my intent to offend you," Akatsuki quickly stated.

"I am not offended," Sesshomaru said assuredly, but realizing she was extremely tentative in his presence now after the scene that occurred the previous time he was at her side. He wanted to do what he could to put her at ease. "I do not eat humans. I just want to know why you would say such a thing."

"No, I did not believe that you did... but it..." Akatsuki hesitated slightly, her gaze lowering as it focused intently on the table napkin on her lap as she gripped its edges. "It was just…, I am afraid... that was a... a rather derogatory term used by Suzaku clan members."

"A term used by the Suzaku clan?"

"Yes," she said clearly embarrassed. "Forgive me, but we call high-level youkai who continue old habits and refuse to acknowledge that the world is changing, a kuishinbou ninjen."

"But why would high level youkai continue to do such a thing?"

"Because despite the evolution of the world those youkai who should know better, have apparently developed a taste for humans, and insist upon consuming human flesh."

"Human flesh?"

"Yes, thousands of years ago, when the Suzaku clan was still warriors, like most youkai, I believe we also ate human flesh. But clearly that ceased long ago."

"And you believe Edera did this still?"

"I have thought a lot of Princess Edera's nature over the past weeks, and as I said, I do fully believe she was an ancient Suzaku clan member," Akatsuki's disposition changed to one of deep anger.

Sesshomaru was certain that simply thinking of that succuvex still angered her greatly. He wished there was something he could do to erase her troubling memories.

"I have no idea of her true age, but if she was as ancient as I truly believe she was, she likely developed that taste long ago."

"I have no need to further discuss Edera," Sesshomaru said, hoping that would at least redirect her thoughts. "But that term you used...

"Kuishinbou ninjen."

"Yes, is that a term primarily used by the Suzaku clan?"

"Well, I know not if it is used only by us, but I do know that it is," Akatsuki responded thoughtfully. "I believe it was started ages ago."

_Your haha will turn you into a kuishin... (mumble mumble) if she has her way._

Did his chichi-ue truly say a kuishinbou ninjen? Why would he say such a thing? Did his haha-ue still...? No, he could not believe that she would. But she had assumed that he did.

_So Sesshomaru; do you not actually hate humans?  
Those two human children you have with you; do you intend to eat them?_

_Sesshomaru, you intend to pass through the meidou?_

_On top of that, to save a _human_.  
You really have become soft._

At that time, he had been more focused upon the task of training his sword and he had not appreciated her calling him soft, but now...?

Had she assumed those things about him because of the conflict within herself to do just that? Or was it merely a cover to attempt to conceal her innate nature from him? But even so, had his chichi-ue picked that term up from the Suzaku clan? Had he, in fact, consulted a sorceress? A Suzaku life sorceress; if so, for what purpose? It had been his intent to question Akatsuki about that possibility once he had recovered the hanyou, but she had been damaged, and he had not; his life had been refocused. He had also considered her to be too young to have consorted with his chichi-ue when he lived, but clearly, if that was indeed a term used by the Suzaku clan, he could not dismiss the possibility of her having knowledge of whom he might contact regarding that.

"Sesshomaru," Akatsuki called out upon noting his displeased expression. "Are you disturbed about something?"

"No, it is just an issue I must resolve."

"Can I be of any assistance to you?" she asked, realizing that was where they had started, with her offering her assistance to him. But she cared not about risking additional potential youkai obligations; she knew she wanted nothing more than to erase his memories of her attempt to flee from his thoughts.

"For now, you must regain your strength and get well," he said. Noticing she had not touched the meat he had provided, he picked up one set of chops and selected a prime choice of meat and offered it to her. "To do that, first you must eat, and do not tell me you are not hungry."

Akatsuki stared wide-eyed at the youkai lord, was it truly his intent to feed her? She could not allow such a thing. "No, I am capable," she said reaching for the chop.

"You have refused to eat since you have been here," Sesshomaru said moving his hand out of her reach. "I must insist that I ensure you devour this." He knew not if he would ever be able to show her the love she said she required, but he was determined to show her that he indeed cared about her health, despite any hatred she may have previously sensed in his heart.

Despite her discomfort at being fed by him, Akatsuki resigned herself and parted her lips to await the fresh morsel.

Remembering something he had also intended to question her about, Sesshomaru decided to ask a question that had occurred to him when he had spoken to the hanyou. "Akatsuki when you share a connection, as you did with my brother, is it generally a two way connection? Would the person you are connected with also sense your heart?"

"If I do not direct it in that manner, I do not believe such a thing would happen unless I lost control of my abilities."

"You mean like you apparently did last week when you handmaidens were forced to enchant and shut down your sensors?"

"Well, I suppose, but I do not believe I have ever had such a thing as that occur before then. What I was thinking about is if I were so extremely heartbroken, I might well slip, but any connections are usually broken soon afterward, and there is not much occasion for such a thing to occur."

"But if you are heartbroken, such a thing could occur?"

"I would have to be extremely heartbroken to lose control in such a manner."

"I see."

"Why do you ask?"

"It is just something I wondered about," Sesshomaru said, realizing if that had indeed occurred it had likely taken place when Akatsuki had lost her younger sister. He had no idea of the true state of the hanyou at that time. He had been sealed and he had thought he was dead, but clearly, he was not. Perhaps it was then that he had picked up on Akatsuki's sadness. Having no desire to remind her of that incident, Sesshomaru decided to pursue it no further.

For the next four days Hidenka Akatsuki remained in bed, as per Sesshomaru's orders. While spending the evenings eating and talking, Sesshomaru made every effort to conceal his growing affection. But prevent it, he could not.

"The scar above your eye is healing well," he said, running his finger along the faint red line.

"You touch me freely. Are you no longer concerned that I might touch your soul?"

"If I _were_ concerned, I would not have undressed you." In all honesty, he could not truly say he would object if she did; then perhaps she would sense in his soul those things he could not, or did not know how to put into words.

"But I was unconscious then," Akatsuki said remembering the first time he had undressed her and she had lost control of her ability. Would she ever be able to tell him that she had indeed connected to his soul then? Would she ever be able to tell him that because of the grave dislike she had sensed from him, that it was the primary reason she did not believe he could ever love her? Would she ever be able to tell him that despite the hatred she had sensed from him, she had also sensed his concern for her well-being, and because of that concern, he had endowed her with the ability to awaken. No, she could not. "I had no control of my power."

"I had no concerns then, or now," Sesshomaru said with a steady gaze. "Your arm?" he continued, taking her wrist in his hands, unwrapping the bindings, displaying how unconcerned he truly was. "Has the bone knit? It looks much improved," he said noticing only minor puffiness where the break had been. The wound at least was nearly completely healed.

"Yes, pretty much," Akatsuki extended her now un-bandaged arm and wiggled her fingers, displaying little discomfort. "This may not please you, but your nursing skills are excellent. The swelling is nearly gone as well. I thank you for your care."

"After your assistance, I could hardly allow you to go untreated."

Akatsuki lowered her eyelids to avoid his gaze. "Sesshomaru," she began slowly, gripping the bedding with her clawed fingers. "I apologize for worrying you so. What I did was disrespectful, especially after all you have done."

"That matters not, I am certain I left you no choice," he said, his heart heavy as he considered his own acts of impertinence. "It was not my intent to make you uncomfortable."

"I thank you for sparing my life. Now, I want to ... to attempt to explain myself."

"Akatsuki, there is nothing to explain."

"Sesshomaru, I want you to understand that despite what I said before, I am not a youkai like you. As you know, I am not a warrior. But you may not know that as a life sorceress, my heart is different from other youkai," she paused for a moment as she considered her words, then decided to rephrase. "Or at least different from how other youkai present their hearts to be. In fact the hearts of all Suzaku clan members are different or at least more caring now that we can no longer transform."

"You have told me that."

"Yes, but I did not tell you that there are many things about me that you do not know."

"Many things I do not know?"

"Youkai rules of obligation. Suzaku sorceresses do not generally follow them. To avoid being placed in such a position, usually, I do not assist youkai outside my clan members because they understand. But because I had never broken my connection with you brother, it was I who placed _you_ in an impossible position and for that, I am truly sorry," she said, lowering her gaze. She wanted nothing more than for him to truly forgive her for that act of blatant disrespect that she had committed against him. "Despite knowing the youkai rules of obligations, initially, I did not believe you would wish to be the protector of a non-warrior, but I did not realize that your honor above all else would leave you with no other recourse. I would never have..."

"I am certain you did only what you felt was necessary."

"Nothing you did could have possibly justified such actions by me."

"Akatsuki, do not fault yourself. As I said, I believe I left you with no other choice."

"You are too forgiving. I do not truly deserve it."

"Forgiving?" he uttered a soft chuckle, hardly believing his ears. "That is not something I have ever been accused of."

"No, I imagine not," Akatsuki said thoughtfully, again turning her gaze down toward the bedding. After a few minutes, she raised her eyelids to study him before continuing, "May I ask you something?"

"Whatever you desire," he responded freely.

"Your name; it means killing perfection and destroyer of life, but..." she paused again, momentarily, her thoughts appeared to drift to somewhere distant. "But I did not truly sense that when you came to me and then..., you spared my life."

Sesshomaru smiled slightly with a discreet show of fangs. "That is my actual nature," he said frankly. "I am a warrior, but I went to you for my brother's sake," he said reflecting on his recent changes of heart. "My concern for his well-being has changed over time," he said reflecting on just how much his viewpoint had changed recently. "And I did not believe you deserved to die for standing up for yourself," the youkai lord truly wanted to add that he cared too much about her to ever wish to injure her, but he did not. "But what is it that you did sense?"

Akatsuki looked away thoughtfully, brushing her fingers through her hair, pulling it back, away from her face, exposing the now faint scar above her eye. "In truth, in addition to you awesome power, I sensed many things that troubled your heart. But I also sensed that you have a very responsible and stable nature. That your calmness of mind enables you to analyze objectively, and to make decisions quickly," she paused slightly, considering her words before she spoke. After her despicable actions, she needed to at least tell him some of what she had initially sensed in him, perhaps then he would better understand his brother's concerns.

She added, "I did sense, however, and I hope it does not offend you, but I sensed that you have a serious, self-possessed nature that can appear domineering and forceful to others. I sensed you have a determination for success in anything you set your mind to, failure is absolutely not an option and you are relentless in your desire to achieve your goals," she studied him intently before adding; "and thus you have little tolerance for weakness. I think that is why your brother feared you so. He believes you do not care what he thinks or what he has done," she lowered her eyelids again in reflective thought.

"He longs for your respect," she said looking up at him, her eyes clear, beautiful, sparkling, and it touched his heart. "I say this because I sensed such diverging differences in what each of you perceive as fact. But I also felt your desire to help is not always appreciated, because your powerful nature leads others to believe you are interfering."

Sesshomaru studied her face, his own face serious and withdrawn. Her eyes reflected a deep seeded desire for his understanding - of her words only; he was certain. He looked down thoughtfully. She had said things to him no one else would ever dare, but surprisingly, he felt no animosity. He knew she had likely sensed more in his heart than she had revealed. His reluctance to utilize the assistance of a sorceress, as well as his hatred of sorceresses in general had consumed him at that time. He was certain the hatred he had held toward her and her clan was likely why she had attempted to flee. Now, he wanted only to know how she regarded him after her revelation, after spending time with him; after the changes he'd undergone these past few weeks. Like when she came to him, she still displayed clear concern about his relationship with his brother, he though, was more concerned about his lack of a relationship with her; then finally, he spoke. "My flaws have never been expressed so succinctly."

"They are not flaws, Sesshomaru. They are who you are, and I know you know that," she said, adamant in her refusal to acknowledge any flaws in him; at least in this regard. "It is never my objective to see anyone's character as flawed. Our nature is never flawed, it is what we do with it that may deem it to be so," she said inflexibly. "I mention these things only because you came to me with an open heart for your brother's sake, and my goal; no, _my responsibility_ as a life sorceress is to explain what I have sensed. I have found that many view life from one perspective, but it can often be helpful if they are made aware of another."

"Does it frighten you? Do I?" the youkai lord asked a few moments later, quiet and serious. Did she run from him because he frightened her? Or was there more to it? He could not help but wish that she could now sense that his heart had changed in so many ways.

Embarrassed, Akatsuki turned her head to study him in a kind of surprise. He sounded so... passionate. She noticed Sesshomaru had a strange expression on his face, his intense golden gaze was unconsciously traversing her frame. Despite the fact that she was predominantly covered by bedding, the manner in which he did it, almost verged on the impolite, but she told herself she did not truly mind. She was determined not to overreact again.

As Akatsuki studied the youkai lord sitting beside her, for the first time, she realized that he was not the powerfully abusive and heartless youkai she had feared so much and had attempted to flee. At least, he had not been to her, and now, he was even attempting to ensure she received sufficient nourishment. "You have already been gracious enough to spare my life," she began. "And since you have taken such good care of me, I must confess - no."

She said it with such defiant strength, it pleased him.

"Any fear I may have displayed before was no more than simple foolishness, and I regret it sincerely. After having been cared for by you after the departure of my handmaidens, I should have known there was no need for fear. Anyone who knew you and was under your protection could not help but be assured of their safety," Akatsuki continued, hoping to ease the pain she believed she had previously seen in his eyes. She could not help but wonder if that pain was because she had attempted to flee from him, when all he had done was nurse her. She did not want him to think she did not respect him, even though her act surely conveyed the opposite. "But since I am not a threat to you, I hope you no longer have any reason to take my life. As I said you have a calmness of mind. As a life sorceress, I felt obligated to tell you what I had sensed. It varied so greatly, from what I had heard, or even saw when your brother's soul cried out to me."

Sesshomaru would not have tolerated such comments from another youkai, but her voice was so soft and kind, and to him, so very alluring. He even loved to hear her call his name. She had a habit of rolling the 'r' ever so slightly which he knew was incorrect, but he would never tell her that. From her, it sounded so right, like it was her own personal way of pronouncing it and his name sounded soft on his ear, just like her voice. He could listen to her talk forever.

Though she had explained his brother's concerns, and he would try to find some way to address them, it was not his brother who was foremost in his thoughts at this moment. "But you are not simply a life sorceress. I saw what you did through your barrier."

"No, I am not. I also have the ability to both defend and attack, inherited from my mother and my father" Akatsuki said in an almost forlorn tone.

Sesshomaru could not help but wonder what troubled her. He did not wish to ask, for fear of causing her to shed more tears, he would be unable to bear it.

"I will do either depending on what is required."

"So you have a warrior's forcefulness in you as well," the corners of his mouth curved slightly. He would not consider it objectionable to have her fighting by his side. "I scented the fire power in your blood, but I had not expected it could be released with such ferocity."

"As you know, we are not a warrior clan, but I suppose that is true," Akatsuki responded quietly. "But we all must fight against injustices."

"So you had no qualms about unleashing your fire power. I did not expect it."

"My appearance may be deceiving to some, but I can handle my own," she lowered her eyes in reflection. "I am a Suzaku hidenka, which means I am endowed with great power. We are taught from a young age that it is important to… care, we are taught that a strong youkai protects themselves, but the strongest youkai stands up and protects others. As far as releasing my fire power, for Princess Edera to have unleashed her errtu upon your innocent charges, that was unforgivable, so I have no sorrow for her demise. Although I am certain her attack was probably primarily directed toward me. For that, I ask your forgiveness, I had not intended to endanger your friends."

"You endangered no one. Your barrier and your fire power were more than sufficient enough to protect them. I am pleased that you stayed," Sesshomaru's eyes sparkled with admiration. "I know not what would have happened had you departed."

"I am grateful to have been of assistance. Although I must admit I have not your power or skill," she smiled, though still a little uncomfortably.

"So what do you sense in me now?" Sesshomaru asked, feeling her need to change the subject, he too, had no desire to think about Edera.

"Despite what I said earlier about you touching me, my powers have restrictions. I cannot sense anything in you now. The primary reason is because after the time we've been together, we are now on a level of familiarity that precludes that," she said turning her face away from him.

Sesshomaru wondered what she was thinking, and then asked himself why it mattered. Soon she would be gone and he would probably never see her again, so he needed to stop thinking these things about her! But unfortunately, he found that impossible.

"I am capable of sensing only the hearts of those who are unfamiliar to me, a protection mechanism, I suppose." Her voice took on a tortured note, and it pierced through him like a dagger. "It is useful for helping higher level youkai find their path, much like when you came to me. But the path I sense is not always what they seek."

"In what way?"

Her features saddened, her thoughts clearly focused on an unpleasant memory. Sesshomaru almost wished he had not asked. "A few years ago, I met a youkai, whose intent was to wage battle against another. He wanted to know if he would be successful in the battle," she issued a soft distressed breath. "Unfortunately, I was unable to even sense his life force beyond the week, but I could not tell him that. So I guess you could say I distorted the truth."

"Distorted the truth?"

"Yes, I guess I truly should say I lied without admitting that I lied. I had no desire to do such a thing, but he was a warrior like you," she paused, noting the puzzlement in his eyes. "On rare occasions I have assisted others outside my clan. At any rate, since there was nothing I could do that would not throw things out of balance, and I knew he would never run whatever I said, I told him he would not lose that battle," she stopped momentarily and took a deep breath, as if pained by her memory. "As it turned out he died two days later, killed by a sneak attack initiated by the youkai he intended to wage battle against."

"And you knew that would happen."

"Thankfully, nature is not that cruel to me," she said as she looked at him with those beautiful crystal blue eyes that seemed to reach deep into his heart with such warmth. "I did not sense how he would die; I simply sensed his life force would not exist long enough to wage the battle."

"And sensing these things happens whenever you touch a youkai?"

"No, only when I choose to look; or to a lesser degree when a youkai comes to me with an open heart, much as you did."

"How often do you choose to look?"

"Not very often. Even though I am a life sorceress and that is my responsibility, that aspect is not a very endearing part of my existence, too much can be revealed, filled with so much anger or pain, but thankfully I cannot do it for anyone with whom I am familiar."

His heart cooled with those words. He now knew she would never be able to sense that his heart was in utter turmoil because of her. He wondered whether it would matter anyway; she had made it clear that she did not wish to be with him, but he had still hoped.

"It is not easy hearing the souls of others cry out for assistance," Akatsuki continued in her tortured tone. "Because I cannot always help them," she looked away, shaking her head sadly, then turned back to face him.

Even with the displeased look that saturated her features, Sesshomaru had to admit that his brother was right with his freely given observation; she was beautiful; very much so - he had never envied anyone anything, but he did wish he possessed the hanyou's ability to express his affections so freely. If he could do the same, perhaps Akatsuki would never have attempted to leave.

Akatsuki continued, "I actually prefer the other capabilities I possess. Protecting others with my barrier; or even protecting those I care for by waging an attack if necessary. But even such abilities are not without its limitations; as is obvious in my failings to protect my sister."

Sesshomaru's heart tightened when she mentioned that. "I am sorry you suffered because of that."

Sesshomaru wished he could have told her that if she had came to him, he would have done whatever he could to help her 25 years ago, but he knew that would have been untrue. But the confusing thing was that he truly wished she had; and he hoped that his heart would have allowed him to do anything in his power to help her, because there was no greater agony that he wished to erase, than the one he saw in her eyes.

They talked for a while more, until Sesshomaru told her she should probably get some rest. He told her he would stay until she went to sleep. He wanted to ensure she slept peacefully. Akatsuki thanked him and agreed as she curled to her side.

Sesshomaru watched as she closed her eyes. Finally, he rose and strolled slowly about the room, blowing out the oil based lamps, save two in the corners. Due to the trauma Akatsuki had recently endured, she was quickly asleep, and he continued to remain by her side. As he watched her, the thoughts that swam through his head were in as much conflict as the emotions that surged through his body. He was unsure how, but he knew he would have to end them. He was the lord of the western and now southern lands and this confusion was unsuitable for someone of his rank. He would not allow himself to experience such disorder over a single youkai female. But in his heart, he knew that ending his internal agony would not be quite as simple as the youkai lord hoped it would be.

**+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#**

**A/N: ****The poor hidenka is feeling a lot of discomfort and embarrassment around Sessy, though; but I guess I should expect nothing less after what happened; she is a life sorceress who seems to be driven by her thoughts and emotions and I think that's hard for her to get past.**

Ohh, Sesshomaru is so kind and thoughtful. Despite having the right to take the hidenka's life, he did not. And now they seem to be making a new start. They're talking, finally. Although they're still not telling each other what they feel. For shame, for shame! But maybe they will soon, maybe things will work out better this time, maybe she'll see that Sessy is really trying, or maybe it just can't happen?

For now, I'm just glad to know that Sesshomaru didn't leave her to fend for herself. But then, that might not have been honorable itself, and we all know Lord Sesshomaru lives by his honor  


**I hope you guys will bear with me though, and are not saying, why doesn't she just get this over with all ready? This is taking a while because I feel these two individuals have lived almost a combined 1000 years of life (500 for Sessh + 350 for Akatsuki) and neither of them have truly found anyone they loved, so I strongly believe if anything does happen, it will be a slow and intense progression filled with conflict. Besides, I enjoy the chase. But fear not, this sequence of events will conclude, one way or the other, in the next few chapters.  
**  
**The thoughts Sessy has from his haha-ue were from Inuyasha manga chapter 467 and from the Final Act episode 10 when Sessy goes to train the Tenseiga to open a larger meidou zangetshuha opening. By the way, does this mean Sesshomaru is getting closer to confronting his mother about his suspicions, or will something else cause a delay?**

Akatsuki - (Aurora/Dawn)  
chichi-ue - (father)  
haha-ue - (mother)  
hidenka - (princess)  
kuishinbou ninjen - (gluttonous human eater)  
youki - (demon power)


	37. Chapter 37 An Unexpected Visitor

**Shō 37—Igai Raihin  
Chapter 37-An Unexpected Visitor**

Assuming the matter of the missing hidenka would be ignored by the others for the next few days until Akatsuki could recover, Sesshomaru mentioned only that she was still weak and needed further rest before she could rejoin them.

Unfortunately, one night during their customary evening gatherings in the living area, not being one to allow the subject to die so quietly, Rin decided to question him further. "Lord Sesshomaru, is Hidenka Akatsuki going to join us, anymore?" She wanted to know three days after the incident on the cliff. Her usually bright eyes were looking decidedly dull, and Sesshomaru found his inability to provide a legitimate excuse for the hidenka's absence vexingly annoying.

Thankfully, Inuyasha intervened; coming up with off the cuff excuses were well within his comfort zone. "Hidenka Akatsuki should never have gotten out of bed the first time, and unfortunately, she's had a relapse," he said patting her on the head. "Sesshomaru doesn't want that to happen again, so he told her to say in bed for a while."

Rin's small shoulders slumped noticeably. "Ohhh, Rin is so sorry she had a relapse," she said, not quite sure what it meant, but rightly assuming it wasn't good. "Can you please tell her that Rin is sorry she is relapsed, my lord?"

Sesshomaru's mouth tightened when Rin referred to herself in the third person, like that. He was surprised that she had gotten attached to Akatsuki so quickly, because he knew she would only refer to herself in such a manner whenever she was feeling upset. But then, Rin had always had such a caring heart. The girl had an eerie habit of delving into his very soul in her ability to emulate his own emotions.

* * *

On the fifth day, Hidenka Akatsuki finally rejoined the group, much to Rin's delight and almost to Sesshomaru's dismay. How could he explain to Rin that the Hidenka would not be staying? How could he explain that the Hidenka had already tried to leave because she did not wish to be with him? Rin, who respected and loved him dearly, would never understand that everyone else did not love and respect him as well.

Sesshomaru watched as Akatsuki, who seemed to pick up on the young girl's distress over her absence, spent most of her time talking to her. Of course the fact that he had told her that Rin had concerns and had asked about her health during their nightly conversation did not hurt.

Despite thoroughly enjoying talking to the young girl, Akatsuki could not deny that she derived great pleasure from hearing tails of Sesshomaru's exploits. He never talked about himself to her, and now that he would no longer be her protector, it was inappropriate for her to ask such things.

Though she hated using her in such a manner, Akatsuki decided to take advantage of her opportunity to discretely request that Rin tell her more of her adventures. As it turned out, the young girl was an extremely avid participant, there was nothing she loved more than praising her lord and despite the tragedy of it, told a story of the time when her lord had gone to train his sword so that it could be a more powerful weapon, but she and a friend had been eaten by the hound of hell and she had died again, but lord Sesshomaru had rescued her and his mother had brought her back to life. Angered at himself for allowing such a thing to happen for the sake of a weapon, Sesshomaru had stiffened at the recollection of that story but tensed even more at the conversation that followed.

The Hidenka stated that she was extremely sorry that Rin had to endure such a tragedy, but she was certain their lord would never have allowed such a thing if there was any way he could have known the possible outcome. Her words were quickly followed by Rin's glowing compliments of how wonderfully powerful and kind her lord truly was, and there was no one more powerful or caring than Lord Sesshomaru and that he would be very happy to take care of the hidenka as well.

Never at a true loss for words, Akatsuki quickly chimed in that Lord Sesshomaru was truly a powerful and caring lord, something she could hardly deny after he had taken such good care of her.

Rin soon ventured to the subject of how Inuyasha was training her to become a strong youkai killer. But quickly pointed out that she would only kill bad youkai, she would never kill a good youkai like her, master Jaken, Lord Sesshomaru or any of the other good youkai in the castle with them.

Though slightly uncomfortable, Akatsuki soon changed the subject after mentioning that though she could not help her with _killing_youkai, Inuyasha was probably better suited for that, she was a water sorceress and could definitely teach the young girl some basic swimming lessons if she would like to learn; recalling the time Rin had mentioned that both she and Jaken had almost drowned. This information livened Rin's spirits greatly as she squealed with delight, looking at her lord, her eyes bright and wistfully pleading as if she couldn't wait to get started, in fact, she even wanted to get started right that very moment, but due to the lateness of the hour, it was a task Akatsuki proposed they postpone until the next day.

A task Sesshomaru watched unfold from his bedroom window the very next morning. A task he almost regretted viewing, because he could see Rin was getting excessively attached to Akatsuki, and he knew Akatsuki likely did not realize how difficult it would be for her when she left. Were there any chance of things working out differently, he would have liked nothing better than for Akatsuki and Rin to form a bond.

Having no suit of her own, Sesshomaru could see that Rin was attempting to make due in her underwear. He would have to ensure that either he or Jaken picked one up for her soon, or have one of the maids make one for her. But it was not Rin that primarily occupied his thoughts at this moment, it was Akatsuki.

Watching as the hidenka and Rin splashed playfully in the water, Sesshomaru was once more consumed with the thoughts he'd had when he had first observed Akatsuki swimming. She was truly like no youkai he had ever known. She was indeed beautiful to look at as the glow of the sun glistened across her wet, golden brown skin. As she bounced playfully about the lake with Rin in close proximity, the water sluicing rapidly down her well formed frame in long, sensuous streams; Sesshomaru studied the hue of her skin, glistening with water that gave off the most exquisite sheen when caught by the brilliant glow of the early morning sun; the beautiful blue of her eyes flashing under the sun's vibrant glow.

The youkai lord paid particular attention to the incredible curve of her body as the lower part of her garment gently caressed her hips. He continued to watch as the sun kissed her already glimmering form as she held Rin securely in her arms.

_Maybe one day you will admit that not everything is under your control. If that happens, I hope you remember, it's good not to lie to others, but don't lie to yourself, either._

Yes, he could now freely acknowledge that Akatsuki was truly beautiful, but this time, he was overcome by the fact that unlike the last time he had watched her swim, he now knew that Akatsuki would never belong to him.

Perhaps the hanyou was correct in a deeper sense, he should let Akatsuki know how much he truly did care about her.

Despite his reluctance to do so, he could not help but think that this youkai possessed a beauty that reached deep into his heart and he knew he wanted her, he wanted to tell her that he truly cared for her. For whatever reasons, she touched something in him that had never been touched before. How pathetic of him, he thought, as he continued to peer unrestrained at the beautiful youkai before him.

Just recently, he had thought there had been nothing more important than this daiyoukai resigning himself to fulfilling an unwanted obligation. But he had done that, and yet he had not considered her desires. But that was before… , now, he wanted... he wanted...

Now, he wanted to go to her; to ask her forgiveness for whatever it was he had done that had caused her to flee. To tell her that he could not allow her to leave him. To take her into his arms and acknowledge that he wished nothing more than for her to be his; but he could not. It mattered not what he wanted, for Akatsuki had made it clear that she wanted nothing more than to run from him.

_Sesshomaru, do you have someone to protect?_

That all too familiar question assaulted his brain once more. How long had he lived his life, thinking he wanted and needed no one? How long had he lived his life thinking he would never care for anyone? But in the short span of these recent months, his conviction had been tested to its extremes; first by his hanyou brother and now by Akatsuki. Did he, or did he not need anyone? Or did he simply want them, because they did not want him? In fact, his acts had caused them both to flee. With a tug on his heart, the youkai lord closed his eyes and turned away; he need not question himself further; he knew his desires mattered not, Akatsuki would soon be gone, and he knew it would be almost as difficult for Rin as it would be for him.

_If you want her to stay, just ask her._

But could this truly be that simple? He had allowed this confusion to possess him long enough. He knew not why thoughts of Akatsuki consumed him so, but he would deny his growing affections for her, no longer. He also knew not how important her desire for love truly was, but he cared for her, deeply. Perhaps he did love her, he knew not. But he could not allow her to leave without protest. If she would willingly accept what affection he had to offer, he would take her without question.

Having made his decision, the youkai lord decided he would talk to Akatsuki upon her return to the castle. He could no longer deny himself what he wanted.

* * *

Bouncing up from the water, Rin dragged both palms downward to rub the water from her face. "Oh, Inuyasha is coming," she screamed in delight, catching sight of the young hanyou followed closely by the little imp.

Catching sight of them herself, Akatsuki smiled. "You are a busy little girl with all your training, aren't you?" she replied, delighted that she had been able to spend time with her. "Perhaps you can come to my castle one day and train there. There are several children your age that you can train with."

"Your castle?" Rin eyed her curiously. "But aren't you going to stay with Lord Sesshomaru?"

"No, I do not believe so, I have to return to my own castle."

"Oh," Rin declared, not disguising the shocked surprise in her eyes. "Thank you for training me, Lady Hidenka Akatsuki," she bowed her thanks before turning and bouncing toward the lakes edge.

"Oh, Rin, you are much too gracious," Akatsuki called after her. "I am just Hidenka Akatsuki, but you may address me as hidenka if you wish," she corrected with a soft chuckle, following closely behind the young girl. "Lady is reserved for Lord Sesshomaru's mate."

"But that is what you will be soon, won't you?"

"I doubt that very much," Akatsuki fought to refrain from allowing the sadness in her heart to enter her voice as she picked up one of the large tenugui towels she had brought out for their use.

"But that's what Lord Sesshomaru wants, don't you know that?" Rin asked in amazement, standing still, allowing the hidenka to dry her water soaked body as she looked up into her eyes. "Don't you want the same thing?"

"I am afraid I do not know what Lord Sesshomaru wants," Akatsuki said, buffing the towel briskly through the young girl's wet locks, remembering how Sesshomaru had clearly only wished to fulfill an obligation, something she believed she would have been unable to endure. "Now, I even have doubts about what I truly want," she concluded, believing that what she most feared had fully taken possession of her, these past few days. She truly cared enough about Sesshomaru that after once more experiencing his gentle and considerate care, she was almost certain she would even risk her life and willingly become his obligation if that is all he wished. But alas, despite Sesshomaru's care of her, she knew he had not and would never forgive her. How could she possibly have allowed such a thing? Perhaps she was now turning into her queen mother.

"Well, _I_know that's what Lord Sesshomaru wants," Rin offered boldly with an exuberant smile, studying the hidenka with her lively wide brown eyes.

"You cannot get dressed until your clothes have dried a little more," Akatsuki said, using a towel on her own body now, deciding not to comment on the young girls presumptuous words.

Rin turned and skipped playfully toward a small field of multi-colored flowers near the lakes edge. "Lord Sesshomaru loves you, you know!" she giggled across her shoulder. "I hope you love him too."

"I believe you are mistaken Rin," Akatsuki protested, realizing the conversation had clearly not yet ended, following behind her young charge, as she twisted water from her hair.

"Why? Don't you love Lord Sesshomaru?" Rin stopped, twisted and almost demanded in astonishment. "Rin knows he loves you. Don't you want to marry him?"

"Actually youkai do not get married, that is something only humans do."

"You mean youkai don't get married when they fall in love?"

"Youkai generally become mates," Akatsuki informed her. "But they do not usually have a formal ceremony like humans, if that's what you're asking."

"But that's the same thing as getting married, isn't it?"

"I suppose so," Akatsuki said, resigning herself to the young girl's innocent logic. She wanted to tell her that youkai did not generally fall in love, so their reasons for mating were actually quite different from humans, but that was a conversation she knew she need not have with her. "Besides, I am afraid you are incorrect, Lord Sesshomaru does not love me."

"Yes, he does," Rin insisted stubbornly. "Don't you know that?" she asked as if she thought Akatsuki was being completely silly. "He was so sad when you had your relapse," Rin said offering her rationale. "Lord Sesshomaru doesn't talk much, but he didn't even want to talk at all when that happened, not even to Rin."

"My relapse?" Akatsuki queried.

"Yes, after you joined us that night, you didn't come back and that made Rin very sad," the little girl said as she sauntered over to a field of mixed flowers and knelt in front of them. "Inuyasha told us you had a relapse and Lord Sesshomaru didn't want that to happen again. Because he loves you and he doesn't want anything to happen to you."

"Oh," Akatsuki said, realizing she was likely referring to her recent injury. She doubted though that Sesshomaru was as much sad as he was angry. She had never even considered that her fall would have affected the others in the castle as well. Inuyasha had clearly had to come up with an excuse to cover for her absence, Sesshomaru must now hate her even more than she realized. But he was clearly such an honorable youkai lord that he had spared her life and cared for her anyway.

"Why don't you give him some flowers?" Rin asked holding up a handful of pink and lavender waterfall flowers. "Lord Sesshomaru loves flowers."

"Does he, really?" Akatsuki could not help but consider that odd.

"Yes, Rin always picks flowers for him, because he loves them." She grew quiet for a few minutes, then added. "Inuyasha found land for Lord Sesshomaru's new castle and it has a lot of flowers for Rin to pick. Lord Sesshomaru will always have new flowers from Rin," the young girl said as she smiled up at the hidenka. "Maybe you should pick some too."

"Lord Sesshomaru loves flowers because you give them to him," Akatsuki said, knowing that Sesshomaru would likely not appreciate receiving flowers or anything else from her. "That is your gift for him. I would not wish to impose on your gift to him."

"Impose? What does that mean?" Rin turned a puzzled gaze toward Akatsuki.

"It means picking flowers is for you and Lord Sesshomaru alone. It would not be appropriate for me to give him something that he receives from you."

"But why not? Rin gives him flowers because she loves him. If you give him flowers he will know you love him too. Don't you want him to know that you love him?"

Akatsuki smiled softly. "Unfortunately, things are not that simple between adults, whether they are human or youkai."

"But how will you be mated, if he doesn't know that you love him?"

"Rin," Akatsuki began, knowing she had to tell her eventually any way. "I thank you for your positive thoughts, but Lord Sesshomaru and I will likely never be mated. Besides, I will be returning to my own castle by the end of next week."

"But you can't," Rin protested as she turned toward the hidenka, forgetting all about picking flowers. "Lord Sesshomaru doesn't want you to leave. What would he do? What will Rin do if you leave?"

"I am certain Lord Sesshomaru will do what Lord Sesshomaru does best," Akatsuki said wistfully, thinking about what it might have been like to rule by Sesshomaru's side. Like her mother, she would have been able to use her sensor abilities and would have ensured she gave him the best advice. "He will rule this new land, and you will be very happy here."

"How can Rin be happy if you leave? No one will teach her how to swim," Rin pouted pitifully.

"If you'd like, I could ask Lord Sesshomaru to secure a housemaid who could teach you."

"No thank you, hidenka. Rin does not want a housemaid," she responded rather dejectedly, as she turned to pull more flowers up by their roots.

Akatsuki believed she now knew why Sesshomaru kept her under his care. She was truly so sweet and adorable, it was extremely undesirable to disappoint her. Sesshomaru's heart must be far warmer than she had surmised, but still it was likely not at the level of caring required by a Suzaku Life Sorceress.

Akatsuki also knew for some time now, she had been considering the possibility of pointing out to her lord that Rin might well require a human nanny to teach her things only a human would be able to teach her. But she was not certain if her discussing the young girl at this point would be far too intimate a topic. They had not truly reached that level of familiarity, though she could no longer sense his heart. If Rin was definitely going to stay in the castle, the hidenka believed she would likely need a human to tend to her needs. She may well be wrong, but she doubted Sesshomaru or even young Inuyasha would know enough about humans to teach the young girl what she would undoubtedly need to be taught. Clearly that is why she was only being taught how to kill youkai, was it not?

Her lord now had a number of youkai servants under his service, but Akatsuki had no idea if his plans were to include any humans. "But I will not be leaving for at least a week. We will have plenty of time for me to continue teaching you," Akatsuki insisted, attempting to console her. "And you can always come to my castle if you would like."

Rin did not respond, she had now completely absorbed herself in the task of picking flowers for her dear lord; her little mind just as busily calculating what she could do to prevent the hidenka from leaving them.

Having finalized Rin's swimming lesson for the day, Akatsuki changed clothes and left the young girl with Inuyasha and Jaken to begin her youkai slaying lessons. On her way back to the castle, Akatsuki was stunned when she believed she saw a familiar site approaching the castle walkway. But with his distinctive royal silk scarf draped across his shoulders in that familiar manner, she was positive it could be no one else. "Ōji Akimaru?" she called out in surprise.

The youkai in front of her stopped and turned to face her. "Hidenka Akatsuki," he replied, quickly retracing his steps back in her direction.

"Hidenka Akatsuki," the Ōji repeated, with a brilliant smile once he had approached closer, then locked his arms around her shoulders. "I am pleased to see you up and looking well, I had not expected that," he said as he pushed her back and studied her.

"Oji, you know we should not engage in such embraces if we are not yet mated."

"Soon, soon," he responded dismissively. "Besides, who must we worry about? Can you begrudge an old friend who had been so worried when he heard you were injured?"

"Oh, I am, or I was, but I suppose that even though I'm doing better," Akatsuki knew she could not tell him the truth of her recent injuries. "I still have not yet reached my full strength."

"Your full strength, what is wrong? What happened to you?"

"It is unimportant, I will recover soon enough," Akatsuki said turning away. She could not possibly tell him what she had done; risking her life at their lord's hands. "Have you come to pay your respects?"

"My respects, I came to see you, and here you are."

Puzzled, Akatsuki studied him. "But do you not believe that as the head of the Southern Suzaku clan you should meet your new lord?"

"My lord? Do you mean that heartless inu youkai who cares for no one?"

"If you met with him you may well find that he is not as heartless as you may have been led to believe," Akatsuki quickly protested, but uncertain why.

"If that youkai sticks around long enough, there will be plenty of time for that. But I doubt that very much," Akimaru said with a snide tilt to his lips. "Besides, is it not his responsibility to go out of his way to meet his residents, especially anyone on the level of an ōji; and not mine to go to him?" He said turning and walking away from the castle as if driving home a point. "Your father is still in shock that after all this time he has even deigned to enter the western compound at all, but of course, it was only to report that you had been gravely injured."

"My father?" Akatsuki repeated, reflecting on how her father would have reacted when Sesshomaru had shown up to retrieve her handmaidens. Sesshomaru had never said anything about how that meeting had gone, but she was certain her father would not have welcomed him with opened arms. She had never even considered that. What he must have gone through to ensure her survival. She likely owed him even more than she had previously thought, but she had shown her appreciation by attempting to leave.

"Yes, do not think that I am unaware he had never previously visited the Suzaku clan that has resided in his original land," Akimaru said looking at her across his shoulder. "So I do not believe he will ever come to my compound."

"I see," Akatsuki said, diverting her gaze slightly to look back in the direction of the castle, as she too began to stroll away, but not agreeing in the least with her friend's decision to wait. But he was the head of the Southern Suzaku clan, his decisions were his alone to make. "But you, you're here masking your demonic aura; why?"

"Ahh, that is something I always do when I leave my compound," Ōji Akimaru said, stopping just a bit to allow her to catch up. "I have no desire to engage in battle with lowly Zushi nezumi who may wish to test me."

"Zushi nezumi?"

"You know those minuscule low-level youkai that might wish to test the power of an Ōji because they wish to test their own strength."

"I wish you would not say such things," Akatsuki said with shame and embarrassment. She had never condoned his habit of debasing others, which is one of the reasons she had never truly warmed to him despite his proclamations of love for her. "Because youkai are lower in status than you is no reason to demean them. If they have not injured you or those you love, there is no..."

"It is of no consequence, as are they," Akimaru said, waving his hand dismissively, as he cut her words short.

"But what are you doing here, really?" Akatsuki asked in an attempt to refocus their conversation.

"Actually, I came to take you back with me," Akimaru said, extending his hand. "You can be taken care of in my compound. You know I have a healing sorceress. There is no reason for you to suffer further. Besides, you would be with your own clan."

"Actually, that is not my clan, it is yours."

"But they are Suzaku like you. And once we are mated, they will be your clan as well."

"Ōji Akimaru," Akatsuki called as she stopped short. "I have not agreed to become your mate." She knew if she had succeeded in leaving as she had intended, she might well be his mate now based on her thoughts at that time; but then she might also be dead, Sesshomaru would have undoubtedly taken her life if she had not been injured. But if she had indeed succeeded, she would not now be so desperately in love with a youkai who could not love her in return. It was Sesshomaru's extremely caring acts after he had retrieved her that likely lost her heart forever.

"Perhaps not yet, but what other Suzaku Ōji would you have in mind. Tell me who he is and I will kill him." He declared brazenly, once more finding it impossible to understand why she continuously rejected him. He was certain there were no other Ōji who could offer her what he was capable of offering her, even if they loved her twice as much as he did. He was the current ruler of the southern Suzaku compound. They could immediately rule together. But he also knew he would never stand back and allow another to claim his future Kisaki. "You cannot possibly wish to mate with that inu youkai, could you?"

"Ōji, there is no one else," Akatsuki responded listlessly. Sometimes he wearied her with his constant talk of mating. But she knew that it would likely happen soon, whether she wished it or not. There was truly no one else. She was not as fortunate as her mother had been, and found a Suzaku in another land whom she loved, who also loved her. She would at least require a mate who loved her who could show her passion, if she were to have any chance of living a relatively happy life. And as much as Ōji Akimaru professed his love for her, she was certain she could perhaps eventually learn to love him in return.

"You do not truly wish to remain here do you?" Akimaru asked, eyeing her steadily. "You know what will happen to you if you love him, do you not?"

"I must, I am not yet well."

"As I said, come with me," Ōji Akimaru said extending his hand to her. "You will have no trouble recovering at my compound."

Akatsuki unconsciously reached out but curled her fingers as she reconsidered. "I cannot," she said, realizing she had no desire to leave Sesshomaru just yet. Besides, she had already attempted that, and fate had not been on her side. Perhaps that was a sign that she should not. Perhaps that was a sign that Sesshomaru would... No, she could not consider such a thing.

"Why ever not?"

"You know this castle is now ruled by my lord," Akatsuki began, unwilling to allow his mind to speculate. He could at times be foolish and she did not wish him to challenge Sesshomaru, when he did not even care for her. "I cannot leave until I am well. It would be disrespectful."

"Ahh, so he is imposing those youkai rules of obligation upon you, is he? Does he know nothing? I shall talk to him," the Ōji said spinning and heading back toward the castle.

"No!" Akatsuki called out in an almost panic.

"No?" Ōji Akimaru stopped and angled his head in stunned disbelief.

"I will be well soon," Akatsuki said, hoping to smooth his reaction. "There is no need to confront him."

"Why do you even bother with these outsiders?"

"He is my lord and his brother required by assistance."

"Your lord, your assistance, and now you are injured," Akimaru said with clear disdain. "He could not even protect you. What kind of lord is he?"

"You should not speak in such a manner," Akatsuki looked back toward the castle, then began to move further away. "And it was not his responsibility to protect me. I should have done that myself."

"Done that yourself? Surely, you are not defending that careless inu. Did he not lead that battle into Edera's grounds and were you not injured in the process?"

"My injuries are my fault. I have never relied on anyone's protection," Akatsuki said dismissively. "Besides, he is your lord now as well."

"My lord? That inu youkai? I would think not," Akimaru replied snidely. He was well aware that Princess Edera had been defeated and youkai rules indicated that the one who defeated her would now rule these lands. But he had never acknowledged Princess Edera as his mistress; he would not bow to an inu youkai who had already shown his true nature. "He will be of no more value than Princess Edera."

"Ōji Akimaru I will likely be well enough to leave by the end of next week." Akatsuki said, weary of the conversation. In truth, she did not like hearing him talk of Sesshomaru in such a manner. "Perhaps we can talk when I return to the west."

"Tell me when, and I will come for you."

"That is not necessary."

* * *

Having not heard the sound of water splashes in some time, but aware that Akatsuki had not yet returned, Sesshomaru peered through his window only to now discover the source of her delay; some unknown youkai, holding her in a tight embrace. Yes, clearly he was a youkai, but it was odd, he scented nothing from him. There was little wind, and he may well be downhill, but with this Sesshomaru's superior scenting abilities, he should scent something, should he not? He could not even sense his demonic aura. Was he masking his presence, why? If so, then clearly he was Suzaku. But who was he, and what was he to Akatsuki? From that youkai's attentions toward her, there were no doubts what thoughts captivated his mind. Were the same thoughts on Akatsuki's mind as well? Is he the reason she had risked her life at his hands? Not because she could not be with him because he could not love, but because she wished to be with another?

* * *

"Why do you not simply heal yourself, then you can be away from him?" Akimaru asked, knowing full well that as a life sorceress, Akatsuki was very powerful and had healing ability.

"I cannot."

"Why ever not? Is something wrong with your abilities as well?" Akimaru inquired with great concern cloaking his jaded vision. "Is it the dark magic in this castle? I know Edera used it extensively. It was extremely thoughtless of that inu to bring you here."

"It is difficult to explain." Actually, she had no desire to. But in truth, it was more that she did not wish to. Sesshomaru had said she could not leave before she was well enough, but now, she was uncertain if she truly did wish to leave him.

_Lord Sesshomaru loves you, you know!_

If only she could believe that he truly did.

"He is my lord, I would be disrespecting him if I were to leave now after he has cared for me," Akatsuki said, but having no intention of stating that she had already tried to do that. But silently, she knew she must leave. Sesshomaru would never love her, despite what Rin believed or even what she might hope. But she had told him she would not leave until the end of next week, and she would not leave before then, not this time; besides, she wanted to remain by his side for what little time she had remaining.

"It would be dishonorable to do such a thing. Besides, I do not yet know if I yet have the strength."

* * *

The youkai lord continued to watch as Akatsuki and that unknown youkai wondered further away from the castle entrance. Where were they going? Was she leaving with him?

How dare he come to his castle uninvited? Should he confront him? Should he make him leave? If he truly intended to possess her, then let him do it in his own place.

* * *

Disturbed by Akimaru's callous declarations, Akatsuki could not help but wonder if there would ever be any true value in mating with him as she made her way back to the castle. Her parents expected it, she knew. Her entire clan expected it, but is that truly what she wanted? He was kind to her, but his heart seemed unlike other Suzaku. But then over the years, each clan had followed the lead of their rulers. Clearly before they had died, Ōji Akimaru's parents had evolved differently than hers. He did not care as much about others. But then, it might well be because there was no life sorceress in his clan. He ruled the Southern clan with an iron hand. Akatsuki could not help but believe he wished to be a warrior. Would Sesshomaru rule in the same manner? Should it even matter to her, she would likely not rule at his side; despite what she felt for him. She would likely rule with Ōji Akimaru. Perhaps that is where her focus should lay. If she did become Ōji Akimaru's mate, she would have to show him a kinder way to rule over his Suzaku clan members. Though they were not truly her clan, they were her kinsmen.

"Akatsuki," Sesshomaru called as she walked past him, seemingly preoccupied in thought. Was her mind so consumed with thoughts of that youkai she had recently been with, that she neither saw nor sensed his presence?

Startled by Sesshomaru's unexpected appearance when she entered, Akatsuki practically froze where she stood. She had not even noticed him standing near the corner of the entranceway. "Ses-sho-maru," she called spinning, attempting to settle her nerves.

"I see you had a visitor," the youkai lord said folding his arms into the sleeves of his haori.

Akatsuki had not intended to mention anything about the Ōji. What benefit would there be to do such a thing, since he did not wish to meet his new lord. But clearly, Sesshomaru already knew. Should she tell him that his prior reputation had spread to these lands as well? "Yes, he is an old friend, Ōji Akimaru," Akatsuki barely managed to utter. With his arms folded so sternly across his chest like that, she knew Sesshomaru had made up his mind about something. She could not deny that when he stood before her like that, he truly frightened her.

"Why did he come here?"

"I..." she began uncertainly. "I know I should have introduced him," Akatsuki said unsteadily. "But... but I am afraid he had no interest at this time," she said, displeased as she recalled Akimaru's actual words. "He did say there was plenty of time for that," she hoped that at least sounded more promising. "So I am certain you will meet shortly."

"Why was he here if not to extend greetings to his lord?" Sesshomaru asked impatiently. Had that youkai come to profess his love for her? Is that why she would not divulge more about his intent?

"He...," Akatsuki found it difficult to meet Sesshomaru's eyes. "He heard that I was here and had been injured. He came to see if I wished to return to his castle and recover there."

"Back to his castle? So you are leaving?" Sesshomaru asked, his gaze narrowing, his tone tensing, as something tightened in the pit of his stomach.

"Uh, no. Not unless you wish me to," Akatsuki said, looking up briefly, then lowering her gaze in embarrassment as her thoughts were invaded by memories of her previous attempt to leave. She could not bear to look at him, knowing full well such thoughts likely invaded his mind as well. "I had not intended to leave until I was fully recovered."

"That is wise," Sesshomaru said, berating himself mentally for not saying something more definitive. "I do not wish you to leave before you are well," he added, knowing that was not any better. It had been his intent to let her know that she was special to him. But how could he, without knowing the truth of that youkai who seemed to lay claim to her.

But the youkai lord was not naïve. He knew from her evasive eye maneuvers that there was something about this Akimaru that Akatsuki was deliberately concealing from him. What was it? Who was he? What did he mean to her? From what he had seen, there was no mistaking that youkai's intended objectives. But did it matter if she told him that or not? No, he may well care and wish not to injure her, but he would not allow her to dishonor him further. She had already rejected his protection, if it was truly her preference to mate with this Akimaru and not him, was there anything he could do to stop her? Should he even wish to?

* * *

* -#*-# * -#* * -#*-# * -#** -#*-# * -#** -#*-# * -#** -#*-# * -#** -#*-# * -#** -#*-# * -#*

**A/N: ****Rin is so sweet, with her innocent logic, she believes there should be no such thing as secrets and actually tells the hidenka that she believed Sesshomaru loved her. Will this change anything between them?**

**Just when Sesshomaru decided he would consider asking Akatsuki to stay with him, up comes another character. I guess they just can't be together.**

**Ahh, another oc - Ōji Akimaru - I know he did not seem particularly nice, or loving of Sesshomaru, but he certainly seems to care about the hidenka. Isn't he the person she was trying to get to when she fell? But I thought she said she didn't love him, does she?**

Akatsuki - (Aurora/Dawn)  
chichi-ue - (father)  
daiyoukai - (great demon lord)  
hidenka - (princess)  
inu youkai – (dog demon)  
Kisaki - (Queen)

tenugui - Fast drying and ultra slim Japanese towel (From the Edo period on it became an indispensable utensil for everyday life)  
Ōji - (prince)  
Zushi nezumi - (Rat yōkai-these were the rats released from the shrine box by Hakudoushi in episode 159, but this is also a term Ōji Akimaru calls all low level youkai he feels are beneath him and that he does not wish to be bothered with)


	38. Chapter 38 The Suzaku Clan Curse

**Shō 38-Za Suzaku Ichimi Noroi  
Chapter 38-The Suzaku Clan Curse**

During her remaining days under his protection, Sesshomaru did not allow Akatsuki's nights to end without his customary nightly visits to talk and watch her sleep. Initially it was a habit he had begun to monitor her health. But at some point it had turned into more. He had begun to feel comfort in hearing the beat of her heart; and now, it was his only private joy, and despite the inappropriateness of it, it was a trend he continued.

There was a difference in him now as he watched her sleep. He seemed to be filled with such emptiness and he knew not why. He enjoyed watching her, even her unfettered sleep, as she tossed gently, without fear, without concerns, her white hair splayed softly across the pillow framing her beautiful golden face. He enjoyed listening to the soft cadence of her breathing, the rhythmic and gentle beating of her heart, as his own heart tightened within him. He knew not if what he felt for her was truly love, but he could admit, even if only silently to himself, that he truly cared about her. Some of the thoughts possessing him were even beneath the status of a youkai lord. He felt a desire to lie beside her, to hold her in his arms and take her. He believed he truly wanted to possess her, completely. But he knew he could never injure her in such a fashion. There were untold female youkai that he could conquer in that manner, but he believed he wanted Akatsuki only. What was she doing to him?

_I'm not going to say she's not beautiful, because she is!_

When the hanyou had first uttered those words, he saw no value in them. Youkai female had not generally been displeasing to look at, even to his discerning eyes. Yes, he could now acknowledge that Akatsuki was beautiful, but he still did not understand whether that should hold any important significance for him. He realized it was not just her beauty that captivated him; nor was it her body which he had seen on various occasions, though he would not complain about it. Her strength, coupled with her fragile nature; her freedom of spirit, the way she swam and played in the water; her ability to stand up and fight for herself and others; her blatant defiance of youkai obligations by standing up to her lord, risking her very life for what she held dear; her frankness of speech; her boldness to say to him those things no one else would ever dare; the alluring tone of her voice, her open and caring heart, and the pain she endured for the sake of others; all these were things that made him want her more.

She haunted his every thought, and as much as he tried to fight and push aside those feelings that seemed to be flaring uncontrollably within him, he found it impossible. He could also not forget this Akimaru whom Akatsuki seemed to willingly wish to conceal from him. Was he important to her? She had said the Suzaku clan yearned for love. Did she love him? Did he love her?

He had only known her for a little over four weeks, he chided himself. Why were these feelings for her so potent? He was no longer indebted to her. She had freed him of his obligation to become her protector. But that did not seem to matter; she stirred something inside of him. Something he did not know how to suppress despite all his efforts to do just that. He wanted her. He could deny that no longer. But he could not tell her. If she did not already know what she did to him, what did words matter? Did not his persistence to be at her side and care for her, show her how much he truly cared and wanted her?

All his life, he had sought power, now he had it. Did he gain more power in order to fight, or did he fight to gain more power. He was no longer certain. All he knew was he had superseded his chichi-ue in both power and strength and he was indeed the most powerful youkai in all the land. He also had the land he believed he had so long desired. But if he was now so truly powerful, why was it suddenly so difficult to keep his own emotions and thoughts under his control? Even with this land, and all his power, his life seemed incomplete.

* * *

Over the following days, Akatsuki taught Rin how to swim, joined the group in the living area, and had her private nightly chats with Sesshomaru. The hidenka had even managed to bring out a side of the youkai lord that was rarely, if ever, displayed to anyone when she actually elicited a hearty chuckle from him. Yes, an honest to goodness chuckle was exhibited without inhibitions when the hidenka had innocently asked him if he believed Princess Edera might now have regrets of whom she choose to be her lord.

On the seventh night, in the early hours of the morning, Sesshomaru found himself again laying across his bed deep in thought. He felt lost. He had never before felt such lost, but he did now. The thoughts plaguing him were ones he had never previously considered possible. But they consumed him, and he felt deep regrets because of them. Akatsuki would leave in a few days, he knew this, but he also knew he did not wish it.

It had been over a week since that youkai had shown himself. Akatsuki had mentioned no more about him. But was he constantly in her thoughts? Because of Akatsuki, the youkai lord was now experiencing emotions he had never experienced. Festering in him was an anger he knew not where to direct. Should it be directed at himself for not having told her that he wanted her, or should it be directed at Akatsuki herself, for having turned down his protection; or perhaps at this Akimaru for daring to set foot on his grounds in an attempt to claim the female, he, himself, wished to possess as his own?

But if Akatsuki truly wished to be with that youkai, would she not have already left? But was he, himself, wrong for resenting the fact that a youkai had dared shown himself on his doorstep with the intent of laying claim to the youkai he, himself, wished to conquer? No, likely he was wrong for not having considered that as a possibility. She had said she required love, but that made little sense. Love was not generally required for youkai. Why would she have a need to such a useless thing? Why was she so different? But she was different from other youkai in so many ways. Not once had he considered her heart may well belong to another. Even when she had attempted to leave, he had not considered the possibility that she might wish to be with someone other than him. But if that was truly her desire, she would have said so, would she not? Yes, there were many things about her that he did not know, but if Akatsuki truly did prefer this Akimaru over him, would she not have simply spoken this fact? Or was it his responsibility to ask? But even if she had, or if he had, would he accept it?

The youkai lord knew many things; there were few if any more proficient than him at wielding a sword. He was familiar with untold fighting techniques and was fully capable of utilizing his sword, his energy whip, his poison claws, as well as his full youkai form in any confrontation. He had grown even more proficient out of necessity when the hanyou had severed his left arm. He was powerful and merciless when he engaged in battle. He sought the advantage and usually obtained it with little effort. But there was one thing of which he had no knowledge. Despite all the years he had lived, he realized he had no awareness of how to go about winning the heart of a youkai female. He had never been required to. He had been the lord of the western lands for these past two hundred plus years, and the future lord from birth. If he had ever wished to be with a female in that manner, he had never been declined; until now.

Akatsuki, though, was different; she was beautiful, she had breeding and she had the power of a warrior in her body, though she was not. No, she could not transform, but even he did not utilize his transformation abilities unless he wished to employ them for some strategic advantage. But he could easily instruct her on efficient fighting techniques. She could become an admirable fighter under his guidance.

Sesshomaru knew he wanted to find some way to convince Akatsuki to stay. He wanted to find some way to make her want him as much as he seemed to want her. Previously, he had never concerned himself with the feelings of others, but now, he wanted to find some way of erasing his acts of discourtesy from her thoughts. He did not want her to think of when he had not bothered to ask her if she wished him to be her protector in order to repay the debt he owed. He had simply planned to do that to dispense with that unwanted obligation and that was all there was too it.

_Doesn't she have any rights?_

Youkai obligations supersede individual rights.

But in truth, it was as if her wishes did not truly matter; like it was all about him and his desires; a desire to rid himself of a debt he did not truly wish to fulfill. The more he thought about it, the smaller he began to look in his own eyes. Once he had made up his mind that something was to be done, he had simply done it. Previously, there was never a need to consider anyone else. For so long, he had been the lord of the western lands, and his acts had never been questioned.

But his life was not simply about him anymore. He was the lord of the lands, yes; but he did not live in it alone. He was beginning to understand that the life of a ruler was far different from the life of a conqueror. A ruler had to show compassion, something he had never done; something he had never thought himself capable of, nor had he ever wished to be.

Having berated himself without sympathy for his disrespect, the youkai lord was more than a little surprised when the aura of the youkai hidenka presented itself outside his door, followed shortly by a gentle rapping. As it turned out, since Akatsuki no longer required as much sleep as she had required during her illness and certain he would also be awake, she indicated she wished to take a late night stroll about the castle grounds and hoped he would accompany her.

Sesshomaru was caught a little more by surprise when he turned to retrieve his armor and swords but was stopped by Akatsuki. She told him she was convinced that each of them contained more than enough power within their own bodies to squelch any potential threats; and she was certain that even if she was not yet 100% fully recovered she would have no problems holding her own.

A feeling of warmth flooded through the youkai lord's body, and Sesshomaru was certain that a slight smile had etched its way across his face as his thoughts drifted to the possibility of the two of them fighting side by side. But he was even more pleased at the thought that Akatsuki had come to request a late night stroll with him. It made him believe, that at least she may not hate him.

The two walked out into the moonlit night, and Sesshomaru was immediately struck by the fact that Akatsuki's beauty seemed even greater under the darkened night sky, with the glow of the moon gently kissing her skin, than it had even appeared during the day when he had observed her swimming at a distance. The moon glowed off her brown skin, much like the sun did. The liveliness of her spirit gave a beautiful vivaciousness to her features that enveloped his heart in pure chaos.

As they strolled down the courtyard away from the castle, Sesshomaru realized this was the first time he had ever walked aimlessly. Whenever he had walked before, he had always had an objective, somewhere to go or someone to kill. But this was a clear indication that having a female in his life would open him up to new experiences. He had to admit to himself that he would not object to the possibilities.

"Come, let us fly," Akatsuki called as she ran up ahead of him, flared her youki and took to the air. The youkai lord watched, awed by the freedom she could so easily and rapidly display as she flew aimlessly above his head, swirling and looping in a small arc. He had never seen anyone display such freedom before, and he wondered if these acts were her escape from the sadness she felt when she touched a youkai's soul and experienced their pain. It hurt him more that he had not bothered to see it previously, and that he himself had added to her discomfort.

Sesshomaru did note the marked contrast in her attire from when she had worn her hebikinu and now, and he was amazed at the differences in the looks she was able to project. She wore a snugly fitting blue with white kimono whose blue shading enhanced the color of her eyes. To him, she looked so soft and demure that he was certain no outsider would ever imagine the fire power she contained in her body simply by looking, until it was far too late.

In her hebikinu, she possessed the look of a true warrior, one whose skills should not be underestimated. Now, she was a woman; a female youkai to be cared for. The youkai lord momentarily considered his life of the past. As a conqueror, he preferred to walk his path alone, but as a ruler, he could now honestly say he preferred to have Akatsuki by his side.

"I see you do not wish to fly," Akatsuki said about ten minutes later as she landed beside him. Her gait was slow and graceful as she fairly glided by his side. The moon danced across her beautiful silky, white hair making it shimmer with a slight bluish glow, reflected off her kimono.

Was she simply trying to show him that she was now capable of flight so he would let her go, or was she deliberately trying to torture him? He wondered. Deliberate or not, she was doing just that. It amazed him that this single female could place this youkai lord in such inner turmoil. Sesshomaru was struck by an overwhelming desire to touch her, to hold her, to take possession of her at this very moment and make her his. But he was also struck by the fact that any possibility of doing that may long be gone, if it was truly that Akimaru, that she preferred.

_If you want her to stay, ask her. You can't just order or make people do what you want, whether you're a lord or not._

"Akatsuki, who is Ōji Akimaru to you?" Sesshomaru asked, perhaps even a little too brusquely, but it was something he could refrain from asking no longer.

"Wh-a-a-t," Akatsuki stuttered, eyes widening as she stared at him, stunned by the unexpectedness of the question. Sesshomaru had never before asked her anything of such a personal nature.

"Who is he to you? Do you love him?"

"I...," caught so completely off guard, Akatsuki was uncertain how to respond. "He loves me," she finally confessed.

"And you, do you love him as well?"

"According to our clan traditions, I am likely to be his intended mate," she said, her heart sinking with the utterance of those words. Could Sesshomaru not see what she truly wanted? To be held in his arms and loved by him only? But was he even capable of extending such feelings? Did she even care if he was not? To have him constantly by her side is all she would truly wish, was it not?

"And is that what you wish?"

"Sesshomaru, I..." What was he asking her? Did he know? Was it truly his intent to...? But she could not allow that, could she? Did he even know what he would be getting himself into? She had to tell him. She needed him to be certain that she was truly what he wanted. She had held this back for far too long.

_It's good not to lie to others, but don't lie to yourself, either_

The youkai lord realized that he truly did not wish to lie to himself or Akatsuki any longer. He would tell her that he wanted her; that he needed her; that without her, his life was meaningless.

"Akatsuki," Sesshomaru began in the hopes of explaining himself, deeply regretting that she would be leaving soon. But if there was any way he could prevent that, he wanted to try. He truly did not wish for her to leave him. "I regret that I did not attempt to determine your desires."

"Sesshomaru," Akatsuki stopped him, in a bold, familiar move she rested her palm gently along his arm, turning her moon reflective crystal blue gaze toward him; looking at him with those sparklingly sharp eyes that had first pierced his heart in what seemed a lifetime ago. "You need not concern yourself with that. Neither of us behaved in a manner befitting our titles," she said hanging her head, seemingly more ashamed of her own conduct than of his.

Akatsuki was silent for a few minutes before speaking again. "Sesshomaru, I have wanted...," she paused in deep thought and it puzzled him. Lifting her gaze toward him, she started again. "While I have been under your care, you asked me two questions;" Akatsuki said deciding to take a different, even if more indirect approach to her objective. "Neither of which I believe I answered appropriately. I did not completely answer them then, because I could not. Though you likely knew not their significance, I hope in telling you this that you will understand why I had been filled with such hesitancy."

"Filled with hesitancy?"

"Yes," Akatsuki breathed heavily, clearly she was reluctant even now to state what she wished to divulge. "I am certain you know this not, but I wish to tell you something about me, or rather about the Suzaku clan."

"Something about the Suzaku clan?"

"May we sit?" Akatsuki asked, looking about as she located a large tree, directly in front of them. Strolling toward it, she folded her legs beneath her as she sat down. Inhaling a deep breath before proceeding, she still seemed reluctant to begin. "Sesshomaru, there is something I would like you to understand about me," she said softly, hesitantly; as if her heart was filled with great sadness. "You said to me once, 'you are not simply a life sorceress'," she paused, causing the youkai lord to wonder if words he had spoken to her previously had truly injured her in a manner that he knew not. "But the truth is I am. I am a life sorceress first and foremost," she grew silent again, as Sesshomaru thought about when he had said that.

Then, he had finally seen her deep sadness, and it was his thoughts that she would make an admirable warrior who could fight by his side. And he had wanted her to know that she need not relegate her life to that of a non-warrior, even if she could not transform.

"Sesshomaru, you are an honorable youkai. Of that I have no doubt. It is your other abilities that I call into question," Akatsuki began shifting slightly as she positioned herself. "Have you ever wondered why such a creature as I exist?" she continued again, looking up and studying him with a pair of deeply saddened eyes.

"Why you exist?" Sesshomaru repeated as he sat beside her. That was a question he truly did not understand. She existed to fill his heart, was his only hope.

"Yes, have you not wondered what value there was in a youkai who existed to be of service to other youkai? A youkai who senses the heart of another and feels their pain, their anger, their hatred, their inner turmoil; actually, everything they hold sacred?" She turned her gaze toward him and continued studying him, as if searching for a response in his eyes, even if she could not sense one in his heart. "As you know, youkai are not generally of a helpful nature. But here, before you, you see a youkai who has no purpose in life except to be of assistance to other youkai."

"But you need not be," Sesshomaru protested, not understanding why she would relegate herself to a life she did not wish. "You contain great fire power within you, and I can ..."

"That is where you are wrong," Akatsuki said reluctantly, as she lowered her gaze. "I must be. I contain great fire power, yes; and for that I am grateful. With my fire power and my water sorcery and the other magic I use, I need not be dependent on the kindness of others. Nor need I hope for such kindness."

"Akatsuki if you are...," Sesshomaru began, wondering if she was angered by the hatred she had sensed from him because of the magic she utilized.

"I am not." She interrupted, looking at him briefly again. "I will forever be grateful for the kindness I have received from you. I could have expected nothing greater. I thank you as well for sparing my life after what I did," she grew silent once more as if reflecting on her acts to flee from him. "But do you recall after I had first awakened; you asked me if I were a spiritual creature, and then later you asked me why I cried?"

"I do," he studied her curiously. "But..."

"My reply to the first question was that I was a youkai like you," she said growing momentarily solemn. "But I am afraid that is not the actual truth, and I beg your forgiveness for my deception."

"Deception?"

"As you can clearly see, I am a youkai, yes; but I am not a youkai like you," she grew solemn, and whether she realized it or not, Sesshomaru knew she was tearing the fragments of his already shattering heart apart. "Though I said that before, it was not entirely accurate. When you asked me why I cried, I wanted to tell you everything then, but all I said was that my heart was different from other youkai."

"I do not understand."

The youkai hidenka took another deep breath as she looked away from him; and the youkai lord wondered what troubled her so. "Sesshomaru, you are my lord, and you are an honorable youkai. As an honorable youkai, I now know you would do no less than what you believe you are obligated to do. But as your servant, I cannot allow you to make such a commitment to a youkai you know nothing about. As a life sorceress, I am not a youkai who could ever accept such a commitment based on obligation alone."

"You could _never_accept...?"

"No, I cannot," she said adamantly. "I too, consider myself an honorable youkai, which in part means I do not generally lie, among other things. But I am fully aware that not revealing the full truth is essentially the same as telling a lie."

"Akatsuki, I do not understand, what do you mean?"

"When I first sensed your heart, I sensed how much you hated the thought of having to deal with a sorceress instead of a warrior..."

"But you are not simply a sorceress and I..."

"No, do not concern yourself, Sesshomaru. You have a right to your opinions," Akatsuki uttered softly, clearly holding no resentments toward him for the hatred she had originally sensed in him.

The youkai lord wished only that she could sense what he felt for her now. He recalled his chichi-ue had told him a long time ago that you never got a second opportunity to make a first impression, so be certain you show the side of yourself that you truly wish to be known. He could not help but admit that in this case, he did not.

"I regret having placed you through so much trouble caring for me."

"Akatsuki..."

"Sesshomaru, I must tell you this," she interrupted him again; but remained silent momentarily before continuing. "I have told you the after effect of how the Suzaku clan is, but I never told you the why." Once more, she grew silent and thoughtful.

Sesshomaru's heart felt like it was being pierced unmercifully as he watched her. Whatever thoughts she seemed reluctant to convey, clearly ate away at her. He wanted to take her into his arms and tell her that she need not tell him anything that tortured her so.

"Have you ever heard a story that says that several thousand years ago; about 3500 to 4500 years ago in fact; a battle had broken out between the then Suzaku king and his queen?" Akatsuki continued once again.

"I have heard," Sesshomaru responded a little hesitantly. He knew not what she would say, but he did know he felt the stress spike in himself from the distress the thoughts of those events clearly caused in her. "But I do not know the circumstances."

"I am not surprised; most outside the Suzaku clan do not," she said; a wariness filling her voice and features. "We have developed a reclusive position since that time. Have you ever wondered why?"

Sesshomaru looked at her with eyes veiled in guilt. How could he admit to her that he had no previous interest in her clan or any other youkai clan or humans that walked his lands?

"Do not worry, Sesshomaru; other than as a method of passing on the historical significance, we rarely speak of it among ourselves. My understanding is that it was a wild and lawless time, even more so than it is today. I also understand that it was a horrible battle; partially because it was a battle between two mates, but also because it was so brutal. But somehow, I believe it was deemed more brutal because it was a battle between a king and his queen."

"Why had they battled?" he wondered. He knew it was entirely unrelated, but it was not the first time the possible difficulties between his chichi-ue and his haha-ue had entered his mind.

"As it turned out, the queen wanted something from the king that he did not wish to provide. But the queen did not want to give up on her request; and so, she did not. In fact, it is said she repeated it numerous times, much to the king's dismay," Akatsuki lowered and shook her head in deep regret. "Finally, unable to bear her constant persistence, the king cursed the queen in anger and she cursed him in return and that vicious battle ensued shortly afterwards."

Curling his fingers into his palm, Sesshomaru listened. He had never held any interest in past events, especially not in something so far removed and unrelated to himself. But she wanted to tell him this for whatever reason. If she wanted to tell him this now, then it was important to her and therefore it was important for him to show interest. But he could scent her pain peeling off her skin as she recounted this story. He did not want her to hurt so, it pained him too much. "But Akatsuki, even in youkai terms, was that not eons ago? How is it important to you now? You need not concern yourself with the battles of past clan members."

Akatsuki looked up and studied his eyes, so filled with concern and confusion. "You are wrong Sesshomaru. It is the affairs of our past that affects us today. It is the reason I am not a youkai like you," she said, her voice sounding like she was going to choke on her words.

Sesshomaru wanted to stop her; to tell her that the past did not matter. But he knew, even though this story was painful for her, she needed him to know it, whatever it was.

"The thing is what neither of them realized is that because they were the leaders and the most powerful youkai in the Suzaku clans; when they cursed each other, they essentially cursed their entire race."

"Cursed their entire race?" Sesshomaru's eyes widened in surprise.

"Yes, every Suzaku that walks the lands must now bear the punishment of our forefathers."

"Bear the punishment of your forefathers?" he said, failing to understand how something that happened so many years before her birth impacted her.

"Once a curse is uttered in anger, it cannot be unuttered; no matter how much one may wish it."

"I do not understand. How does their curse upon each other affect the Suzaku clan today?"

"We are and have always been magical creatures; as a result of their curse upon each other, all Suzaku clan members began to change."

"The Suzaku clan ...? What curse did they put on each other?"

Akatsuki's gaze once more focused off in the distance, momentarily. "You remember when you undressed me, you noticed that I do not have heritage markers?"

The youkai lord lowered his gaze from a slight touch of embarrassment; something he had never felt before.

Akatsuki smiled at him, her lips curved up ever so slightly, as if intrigued that this youkai lord could indeed feel embarrassment, despite what she knew he had said.

"We lost our heritage markers; thus as you know, we can no longer transform. My understanding is that as a member of the royal family, I still possess the full power of a warrior, but since I cannot transform, I am not truly a youkai such as you. But, I never did transform, so I do not miss it; but I am told it was difficult for the older Suzaku to adjust to in those days; but alas, I believe they are all gone now. Edera may have been the last."

"What did the queen wish from her mate?"

"I will tell you, but first you must understand that because of the queen's curse, we as Suzaku are no longer warriors; but I hold no grudge toward those who are; because we are still highly capable fighters. At that time, the king was a warrior through and through, much like you," she said, unable to look into his eyes she turned her head to glance across the horizon yet again. "He loved his role as such and did not wish it to change."

Akatsuki knew there was no way she could continue to postpone what she needed to tell him, no matter how much it pained her. "Apparently this tragic state of affairs began because one day when the queen was in search of food, she heard some strange unknown noises and when she tracked it, she encountered two human lovers in a forest and she watched them with great interest," Akatsuki's thoughts were immediately refocused to that time; a time she had not lived, but a time she knew impacted her very life. "That couple seemed to be filled with so much passion for each other," she said softly, almost regretfully, mixed with longing. "After a time, the queen spoke to the woman and the woman told her that she loved the male because of all the passion he filled her with," Akatsuki said, closing her eyes. Now, he would know. "That was something the queen did not understand, because like it is today, youkai did not generally mate for love then, as much as for obligation as most youkai still do."

"But the queen continued to watch these lovers, repeatedly for days, perhaps weeks, but that is unknown. At any rate, over time, her heart began to change and she found that soon, she too, wanted to be filled with that human passion. What she wanted was for her king to fill her with that passion. But as a warrior, the king could not," Akatsuki had never wanted to reveal that to him, because she knew Sesshomaru also could not. "He did not believe it was necessary. He believed that mating was only necessary to produce an heir and to be your mate's protector, nothing more."

To prevent herself from choking at the thought of how her own life seemed to mimic that of her first generation mother's Akatsuki grew silent, yet again, then finally spoke once more. "It is unknown for how long, or how often, but after her repeated requests, the king grew annoyed and cursed her. He said that was not what she requested when they exchanged vows and mated. He said a youkai does not change their vows midstream. He told her she was sounding too much like a foolish human and he would not tolerate it. Then, he cursed her when he said if she truly wanted to feel passion so desperately, then he wished she could feel the emotion of every youkai she touched, then perhaps she would get all the passion she would ever desire." Akatsuki fought the tears that welled in her eyes. "Infuriated, the queen cursed him in return, saying that she would never have stopped him from being a warrior, she would even willingly have fought by his side, but if he refused to acknowledge that his mate was as important as any battle he could ever enter, then she wished he could never transform again."

There, she breathed deeply; it was essentially done, she had explained how her touch had evolved, but she knew there were still a few details she needed to tell him. "Though the queen was a warrior as well, I really have no idea how she won that battle, because that was her mate's life not hers. But I do believe it was because the queen had an upper hand that her mate did not, which probably helped when they did engage in battle."

"An upper hand?" Sesshomaru's smooth voiced clearly boomed his stunned question.

"Yes, you see," Akatsuki looked up at him for a short while, before again turning away. "The queen was with child. As you know, nothing will stop a female youkai from protecting her child even if unborn. She will fight to the death if need be, but her first instinct, as is all youkai's, is to fight to survive; to fight to protect her child."

"But at the end, when the king was mortally wounded, the queen, who was a fire and ice sorceress tried to heal him with her healing abilities because I believe after watching those human lovers, she had been filled with great love and she had truly grown to love her mate, but alas, she could not save him."

"During the first 500 to 600 years of her solo rule, the queen cut the Suzaku clan off from other youkai and had the western compound built that contained everything they needed, so that they could adjust to the changes they were undergoing outside of prying eyes," Akatsuki essentially concluded. She had never believed she would be able to tell Sesshomaru any of that. But there was still one further detail that she had not yet revealed.

"The sad part about it is, through the queen's change of heart, all Suzaku clan members began to change and our hearts began to care, but the queen never again mated, and because she never again mated, she never experienced that passion she longed for..." Akatsuki said, growing even more saddened by that detail. "And in the end, my understanding is that she died a slow and painful death. I have heard that after several hundred years of rule, of which the last fifty or so had been extremely unstable, she had gone mad and had killed several of her own guards until her courts men had been forced to lock her away in some kind of barricade, where it is told she completely lost her mind. I believe that was her punishment for killing her mate and for desiring something she could never obtain," Akatsuki concluded finally, refraining from telling him that the queen's fate was believed to be a fate that awaited any of her daughter descendants who did not obtain that passion from their mates.

Nor did she mention that was one of the primary reasons she also believed Princess Edera was a Suzaku. It had never been explained how or why the queen had killed her guards, but Akatsuki now believed she knew. The queen was clearly devolving into a succuvex, the same fate Princess Edera had suffered. With all the time she'd had to think of late, she had come to the realization that Princess Edera had likely avoided suffering the same fate of losing her mind, as her first generation mother because of all the dark magic she utilized. She had known about possibly losing her mind, but was it truly her fate to become a succuvex as well, if she were not loved? Would her power of touch turn into a touch for power? Perhaps she would have no choice but to mate with Ōji Akimaru, after all. She was certain she would not be able to endure Sesshomaru's pity any more than she could endure merely being his obligation.

Akatsuki grew silent for a moment as she lowered her head. "Because the king lost the battle, his curse affected only the queen, her descendants and his female relatives. As you already know, as a result of the king's curse, I have inherited the queen's touch. I am now a fifth generation life sorceress. That queen was my first generation mother; the first life sorceress. That king was my first generation father. I am one of the direct descendants from the seed of that union that ended so tragically; a descendent of the child the queen fought so desperately to protect. I believe Princess Edera may well have been the king's sister or at least, an early descendent of one of his female relatives. As the victor in the battle, the queen truly got her wish and her curse affected all Suzaku clan members, male and female."

"Somewhere along the line, I think primarily because of the queen's powerful magic, her descendants were enchanted in such a way that we were spared the hardship of inadvertently sensing the heart of _anyone_we touched as the king had truly wished, as well as anyone with whom we were familiar. Over time, an early life sorceress managed to develop enchantments to shut our abilities off for a time, and those enchantments are entrusted to our handmaidens. But it cannot be shutdown indefinitely."

Sesshomaru's golden gaze studied her intently as she finished her story; but she did not look at him because her gaze was focused off in the distance. Something in the youkai lord's heart tightened as it was filled with a deep sadness. Akatsuki had not said it, but he knew as the lord of the western lands, if he had shown any prior interest in her clan, he would have known that story; and thus, she would not have had to recount something that was so painful for her.

But now, he understood fully why Akatsuki had told him about this now. He understood that it was not just her first generation mother's touch she had inherited. He also now understood why she believed she could not allow him to be her protector or her mate. Being the proud youkai lord that he was, he regrettably left it at that. He had never asked for a single thing in his life, and even now; despite wanting her more than anything he had ever wanted before; he could not find it in himself to ask for that. He knew even if he had, it would not be easy to obtain her forgiveness but the thing was, he was not certain he could convince himself that he even deserved it. He cared for her, but he knew not if he could give her that love or that passion she truly longed for.

On the tenth day, Akatsuki said her goodbyes. As Sesshomaru had suspected, Rin took it rather hard. Although he knew Akatsuki had tried to prepare her, Rin had not accepted it very well. In fact, in the hopes of seeing the hidenka again, the little girl had innocently inquired when she would come back. She had not noticed the awkward silence or the uncomfortable glances that were subtly exchanged between the youkai lord, the youkai hidenka or the hanyou.

Internally, Akatsuki was not the least bit certain it would be advisable for her to return to the southern castle, but did extend an offer to Rin to come visit her in the western Suzaku castle whenever she wished. She suggested that perhaps Inuyasha could bring her on Ah-Un one day and that she would allow her to ride her winged horse, Adona, when she did.

Though she had been delighted at the prospect, the offer did little to appease Rin's heart.

With his easy mode of displaying affection, Inuyasha, though, had lifted her into his arms to console her. He'd explained that Hidenka Akatsuki had to go back and take care of business in her own castle, and that others were anxiously awaiting her return. But he promised he would take her for a visit as soon as he could.

Despite displaying a slightly livelier expression on her face, Rin was either more calculatingly clever, or more naive than any of them thought she was, because very shortly, she'd asked the hidenka if Lord Sesshomaru could come too. This question, however, was followed by an even more awkward pause of silent glances exchanged between Sesshomaru, Akatsuki and Inuyasha.

Although he truly had no desire to rein in her enthusiasm, Sesshomaru finally resorted to calling Rin's name in his stern, reparatory manner, telling her that she needed to allow the hidenka to depart. Informing her that she could visit the hidenka in the Suzaku castle, but right now, the hidenka had many things she needed to take care of. A message which was received with a calm, but clearly disappointed, 'yes my lord.'

But Sesshomaru himself was truly torn by Akatsuki's departure, although he displayed very little as was his nature. He wanted to tell her that he had changed. He wanted to tell her that he wanted her, needed her, cared for her, deeply; but he knew she would never believe that. And he, himself, had no idea if what he felt for her was strong enough to compensate for the demands of that curse she had told him about. If he had not been able to demonstrate his true desires in his acts, then all hope was lost. Her entire opinion of him had been based on what she had sensed in his brother's sole when it had cried out to her as well as what she had read in his own heart and he knew it had probably not painted a pretty picture of him. But he had not painted a pretty picture of himself when he had refused to listen to her words and forced her to try to run from him. How could he tell her now, that so much about him had changed? Although other than as an honorable gesture, the only thing he could do was accompany her back to the western lands to ensure her safety. He had hoped that in doing that she would see that he truly did care, but if nothing else, at least he could extend their final time together.

Hidenka Akatsuki herself believed upon her departure that she had performed the most difficult task she had ever performed in her 350 years of life; concealing her tears from her lord. She tried desperately, not to allow an ounce of disappointment to show on her face, as she fought the grave sadness that encompassed her entire being. But it was nearly impossible to hold back her tears when Sesshomaru had departed from her after they had returned to her castle in the western lands. She was left with a sadness that truly tore at her heart.

Sesshomaru had been so attentive that she knew she would miss him. She cared for him, deeply; but she knew his attention to her was only a result of his attempt to repay his debt. Now, she knew he understood her, he understood why she could not accept him as her protector. He was likely the first outsider who did. He understood, but he had not stopped her. He had not because she knew her desires were not something he believed he could or would wish to fulfill.

But even though she knew it was unnecessary, Akatsuki was truly grateful that he had at least accompanied her back to her castle in the western lands, even if it was only to uphold his honor. She had hoped that Sesshomaru would have told her that he truly did care, but she was grateful that his honorable act had at least extended their final time together.

* * *

**A/N: Okay my lovelies, finally, after hinting at it for so long (ever since she was first introduced, as a matter of fact), I have finally revealed the Suzaku clan curse. I hope it was not disappointing. I hope it sounded really tragic. But I'm not sure if it sounds as bad in words as it did in my head. As you guys probably already know, I began writing this fanfic, just so I could get to this point. This was the first chapter I saw clearly in my head, so I hope I appropriately conveyed all the emotions and sadness Akatsuki felt that I really wanted to put in it.**

But I also hope everyone got a good sense of why Akatsuki did not wish to be Sesshomaru's obligation. If the words came out right, in truth, I do not blame her. Poor thing.

So that's it? It's over? Akatsuki is gone and Sesshomaru just took her back to her compound and what, said goodbye? He left her to go to Akimaru? Is that what he wants? Does that mean all that work and tension was for nothing? Well, I did say this series of events would conclude soon, but this was not at all what I was expecting. Isn't there any way for them to be together? Well, if nothing else, at least we know Sesshomaru's heart has grown a lot in that process. But I certainly don't know if it has grown enough, maybe it needs to break before he realizes he loves her. But how?

I know, this chapter was really long, but there was an awful lot I wanted to cover in it. Believe me, I considered putting off Akatsuki's departure until another chapter, next week, but I figured, what was the point? All of this has gone on long enough, if she had to leave, then she should leave. But really, what happens next for our dear lord?

Next up: Out of the mouths of babes.

Akatsuki - (Aurora/Dawn)  
chichi-ue - (father)  
hidenka - (princess)  
Ōji - (prince)  
oyaji - (old man)  
-


	39. Chapter 39 What is Love, Really?

**Shō 39 - Nani Ne Amūru, Tsukuduku?  
Chapter 39 -What is Love, Really?**

Sesshomaru had never been a communicator, and certainly not with the hanyou, But upon noticing what seemed to be an uneasiness in his elder brother since the departure of the hidenka a week earlier, Inuyasha was not the type to allow the situation to pass without exploration. The two brothers had settled into the large living area but with only the two of them, the air hung tensely silent between them. Jaken and Rin were in the Daidokoro eating lunch or something.

"Sesshomaru, how are you doing?" Inuyasha asked for the third time over the last week. It was as if he thought continued questioning would eventually get the youkai lord to admit a fact he was certain he was attempting to deny.

"You have asked that several times this past week, Inuyasha. Is there some specific issue you see with me physically that makes you question me in such a manner?"

"Other than your almost somber behavior of late, I would say no."

"I have been no more somber than usual. I do not generally prance around like a lark in a meadow as you tend to."

"Maybe not, but you did not previously mope around as you have been of late either, at least not since you came to this castle."

"I am not and do not mope."

"You say that only because you have not had to put up with the grumpiness that the rest of us had to."

"What grumpiness?"

"You've got to be kidding right? You've got to know what you're putting the rest of us through. If it was just me, I wouldn't care. You've always wanted to kill me anyway. But what about all the servants you have now? What about Jaken and Rin?"

"What about them?"

"You can't be so dense that you haven't noticed everyone is afraid to even be in your presence."

"I cannot help it if the youkai in this castle have no backbone. Besides, it would behoove them to cower before their lord."

"And you really think that's the way to rule?"

Sesshomaru did not respond. He had lately often thought of how his chichi-ue had ruled his own empire and had wanted to match and exceed his ruling style.

"You must have noticed Rin has given you more flowers this week than she ever has before," Inuyasha continued boldly. Since his brother had not already presented him with a hefty fist in the face, he believed it was safe enough to continue. There was no denying that Sesshomaru had changed to some degree, especially to sit and tolerate the remarks of his hanyou brother.

"And…"

"And why do you think she's doing that?"

"It is Rin's nature."

"Really? You mean to tell me you haven't noticed the kid is worried about you?"

"Worried… For what purpose?"

"Look, you don't have to admit to me if you don't want. But admit it to yourself that you haven't been the same since the hidenka left."

"And in what manner do you believe I have changed?"

"You've actually changed in a lot of ways. Not trying to kill me whenever you see me is one way. But the way you've been behaving lately, is the main thing I'm referring to."

"And how is that exactly?"

"You, walking around like a youkai in pain."

"In pain…?"

"I don't know about you, but most of us don't need to lose an arm to be in pain."

"And what kind of pain do you believe I am experiencing?"

"Oh, I don't know," Inuyasha responded feigning ignorance, not willing to come right out and tell the youkai lord his thoughts. "But there's something."

"Something such as what?"

"Sesshomaru do you remember a couple of months ago when you just grabbed me and threw me into the water because…," Inuyasha paused, not certain he really wanted to bring that subject up again.

The youkai lord simply turned his head and eyed him steadily.

"Maybe things have always been easy for you, but it's never been easy for me," he stated, wondering how true that statement was anymore. He doubted whether his brother's life was as easy as if used to be now that he had willingly taken his hanyou brother into his life. "Do you know what my first thought was after I awakened from that seal after all those years?"

"In truth, I hardly know what your first thought is even when you awaken each morning."

"Yeah, well. It was about Kikyou, the women who bound me to that tree," Inuyasha said, remembering how he had mistaken Kagome for Kikyou, but it was still Kikyou whom he had thought about. "She caused me more pain than any youkai had ever caused me in all of my previous years. And yet, she was the first person I thought about when I awakened."

"What is your point, Inuyasha?"

"Don't you know that you never realize how important something is until it's gone? When you fall in love, just because a person has hurt you or even if they're gone, that doesn't mean you're going to fall out of love. And apparently not even when you think you've died, whether you admit what you feel for them or not."

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It was nearly three weeks since Hidenka Akatsuki had departed to the western lands to return to her clan. The days had passed slowly and uneventfully. The previous week, Sesshomaru had returned to the edges of the western lands to scout the area his brother had selected and found it more than acceptable. Earlier in the week, in an attempt to settle in to his current castle, fully taking on his responsibility as a daiyoukai he had sent Inuyasha, Jaken and Ah-Un off to retrieve additional servants for the southern castle as well as to secure a team of youkai who could be potential guards, in addition to a group to begin construction of the new castle in the western lands. Even without Akatsuki by his side, he was still the lord of two regions of land, and he had to prepare to rule over them.

Rin had chosen not to go with them. Instead, she spent her time sitting on a small futon in the corner of the office area, quietly watching as Sesshomaru frustratingly made his attempts to finalize the design of the new regional castle. But unfortunately, he was finding it difficult to concentrate. His mind remained otherwise occupied on one particular thought, or more precisely, on one particular person.

Designing the exterior of the castle had been relatively simple and straightforward. He would not have a barrier, but had decided to design sort of a fort-like compound, not unlike the western Suzaku castle compound. _Akatsuki's castle compound_.

The castle walls would enclose a small, nearby lake that he had seen when he had scouted the area, _because Akatsuki loved the water_; a large garden and a stable for Ah-Un. At one point he had hoped it would have also been a haven for Adona, _Akatsuki's winged horse,_but now that was out of the question.

The interior of the castle was where the real problems arose, specifically, the western wing, where he planned to reside; the side closest to the lake. Currently, the paper was vacant on that side, a large, white hole, with no plans of anything; and the youkai lord knew why. When he had originally planned to have the castle built, he had believed he would have had Akatsuki by his side. He had owed a debt, and had planned to repay it as he was obligated too. But that was not Akatsuki's desire, and now, it was no longer his. He had instead; grown to care about her, but now she was gone. She had remained under his protection for a little over month, and was gone for nearly as long.

With her absence, he found he understood less about himself than he had ever realized. He had believed that after time, his thoughts of her would eventually subside, but they had in fact intensified with every passing day. Shortly after her departure and he knew not when, he realized that because of Akatsuki there were many things he was experiencing that he could not recall having experienced before. In fact, certain words began to crowd the youkai lord's head that had never before possessed it.

_He missed her_.

There was a great sadness in his heart. There were many things about Akatsuki that he missed. He missed caring for her. He missed sitting by her side watching her sleep. He missed the conversations they shared. He missed thinking of the possibilities of them fighting side by side. He missed the longing she filled him with. He missed being able to think of her as his planned future mate. But most of all, he missed watching her frequent displays of freedom as she took her early morning swims and trained Rin.

Not one to wallow, the youkai lord decided that it was too late to regret Akatsuki's decision, and there was nothing he could do. Akatsuki had made her own decision to leave, and it was well within her rights to do so. She was a Hidenka and did not require his protection, if that was not her desire. But he could not dismiss the fact that while under his care, there had been only one thing she had said she required, but he had believed himself incapable of giving her what she wanted, and that was one of his most painful thoughts. To do such a thing, would have labeled him as weak, he was the warrior lord of two territories. He was not weak and would never allow himself to be considered so.

But had he ever considered his chichi-ue weak? From all signs, his chichi-ue seemed to have loved that human female, but Sesshomaru was uncertain of that fact. He had considered his chichi-ue's death foolish and ignoble for dying at the hands of a human while protecting that female and the hanyou. But he had never considered him weak. In fact he had lived his life attempting to exceed his chichi-ue's power and strength, until he had. Who did he fear would consider him weak if he loved Akatsuki? No one; because he feared no one; and he feared words least of all. So why had he let her go? Because he could not give her passion?

But was he truly incapable of doing that? Had he simply not acknowledged that it was possible, because he had never lived his life giving anything to anyone? Lately, he could not help but wonder if he truly could give her that passion she so desired. From his first encounter with a female, his haha-ue's friend, she had taught him how to please her; but since that lecture from his chichi-ue, he had never looked at joining with a female in the same manner again. It had always been simply a method to relieve his own biological urges, no more than that.

But Akatsuki had said the queen had watched two human lovers, and had been filled with a desire for passion. Was that not what his haha-ue's friend had taught him - that human passion? Was it also not the most fulfilling union he had ever engaged in? Or was that simply because that was his first, and his thoughts had been twisted over the years? But could he truly please Akatsuki? He knew what satisfied him, but could he satisfy her, while satisfying himself? But was it even about him? Could he not just simply wish to please her? But did these thoughts now even matter? If Akatsuki chose to be away from him, he would not dwell on it.

But the matter did not appear to be as easily settled as the youkai lord had previously thought when he caught sight of Rin staring at him a few minutes later as he tried to focus on the task of finalizing the plans for the territorial castle. Her sad and almost listless expression was illuminated by the sunlight flickering through the opened window.

"Lord Sesshomaru," she called. "You're building your empire now; will I be able to stay with you in the new castle?"

"Why do you ask, do you have doubts?" He knew he had not yet told her about the miko. Is that what she was leading to?

"Is Hidenka Akatsuki going to join us there?"

Something caught in the youkai lord's throat as he reflected on what his answer would be versus what he truly wanted it to be. "No," he said softly, trying to camouflage his own disappointment by attempting to redirect his attention to his plans. "She will not."

"Is it because she doesn't like it?" Rin asked, moving toward him.

Sesshomaru allowed his gaze to glance toward her without any noticeable movement, as she approached his desk. Keeping his eyes trained on the plans in front of him, he ignored the strangeness of her display. If she missed Inuyasha, that was her own fault, she should have gone with them four days ago. It was her own choice not to, he determined as he watched her reach across him to let her fingers trace across the vacant west wing space on his plan; the side that had no design sketch of any kind. Her familiarity in doing this violated the normal respectful distance she had always reserved between them.

Sesshomaru's lips tightened as he watched her fingers brush across the vacant space. The girl had seemed overly insightful a number of times under his care. Was she showing that she was now, as well? Was she telling him that she knew why that space was vacant? Perhaps he had underestimated her acuity. "Rin?"

"This castle makes me unhappy," Rin said with clear disappointment. Sesshomaru looked up and could see the pain in her eyes that seemed to travel to her very toes. "I thought Hidenka Akatsuki liked us. I thought she wanted to live with us. Did she leave because she didn't want to teach Rin how to swim anymore? Or do you think she didn't like me because I'm not a youkai?"

"Do not say such silly things," Sesshomaru cautioned her in his typical reserved tone. "Hidenka Akatsuki did not leave because of you. I am certain she liked you very much," he tried to reassure her without saying that it was him, the Hidenka had not liked. "I am also certain she enjoyed teaching you how to swim as well. She said you made great progress; like you were a natural born little fish."

"So why did she leave us?" Rin demanded without even the customary little smile she would have usually emitted after being compared to any kind of creature. "Hidenka Akatsuki was sick here, but you took care of her. Who's taking care of her now? Will she be all right by herself, if you don't protect her?"

"Hidenka Akatsuki is not alone," Sesshomaru informed her, knowing full well, he was as worried about the hidenka as Rin was, perhaps even more so.

The youkai lord knew that over the past few days, he had wondered the same thing. Akatsuki had been gone for nearly three weeks. Had she given herself to that Akimaru? Was that youkai now protecting the female he, himself, wished to protect? "There are many youkai in her castle to care for and protect her," he continued, hoping she had not. "Remember Ashira and Bathera? They are there as well."

"But they can't protect her, they're girls," Rin said dismissively, though unaware of any abilities they may have had, as well as completely disregarding the fact that they were actually youkai females, she could not possibly imagine them being able to keep the hidenka safe. "They need you to protect them also. No one is as strong as you my lord."

_Sesshomaru, do you have someone to protect?_

"The guards there are strong enough, and Hidenka Akatsuki has a lot of power herself."

"So we'll be here by ourselves, and none of them are coming back?"

Sesshomaru studied her, knowing that he had already lost one female he believed he cared about because he had not protected her. Would he be able to stand losing Akatsuki because of his callousness as well?

"Are you not happy with the people in this castle, Rin?"

"They're fine," she replied sullenly. "But I like Hidenka Akatsuki, she was nice. She taught Rin how to swim," she stated almost hopelessly. "Don't you want her to come back also?"

Stunned, Sesshomaru did not respond. What would he say that he wanted very much for Akatsuki to return, but that she did not wish to be with him?

"Is it like that time when Inuyasha got lost and you had to go find him?"

Sesshomaru did not really know how to respond to that, either. In truth, it _was_similar to that time in many ways. Because of his inability or his unwillingness to communicate his innermost thoughts, his brother had not trusted him. Hidenka Akatsuki as a life sorceress could not see that he had changed because of her, so she also did not trust his motives.

"You love her, don't you my lord?" Rin asked, looking at him with those large innocent eyes that tore at his heart. "Don't you want her to come back?"

Love her? Sesshomaru remained silent, as he folded his elbows on his desk, threading his fingers together as his thoughts wandered.

_._

Love. Was not the hanyou trying to convince this daiyoukai that this confusion that possessed him of late, was indeed love?

_When you fall in love, just because a person has hurt you or even if they're gone, that doesn't mean you're going to fall out of love_. _And apparently not even when you think you've died, whether you admit what you feel for them or not._

But what was love, truly?

He had been taught manners and good breeding. He had been taught how to fight and how to kill swiftly and efficiently. He had also been taught what was expected of a youkai lord. He had been taught about honor and obligations. But he had never been taught about love. Other than an occasional show of compassion from his haha-ue, love was not prevalent in their home as he grew. It was not a characteristic youkai longed to possess. But Akatsuki essentially indicated that she required it.

_I am a youkai, yes; but I am not a youkai like you._

_I am a Suzaku life sorceress. I am a youkai who cannot spend my life with another who cannot love._

_What the queen wanted was for her king to fill her with that human passion. But as a warrior, the king could not._

Yes, the youkai lord realized he knew many things. There were few if any more proficient at fighting than him. He could kill effectively and mercilessly in nearly any manner he desired. But he knew nothing about how to go about ending the pain surging in his own heart.

"Who will protect her if you don't, Lord Sesshomaru? Who will keep her safe?"

"Hidenka Akatsuki does not require my protection."

"Are you saying because she doesn't require it, that means she doesn't what it?" Rin asked in amazement. "Don't you want to protect her?" she asked, her eyes were pained, and widely confused.

Sesshomaru blinked as his own eyes narrowed. Was this human child truly pitying him? Rin had often stated things in a manner he had not considered. He had to admit that he had never considered whether what Akatsuki needed might be different from what she wanted. But he did know _he_ may well not _need_ to protect her, but he did _want_to. Her well-being had been his primary focus these past weeks. How was she? Had she again been damaged in some way? Had she touched a youkai's soul and been injured through that? But most of all, had she thought about him, as much as he had thought about her. Did she wish to return? He could only hope.

"In such a situation, one cannot force themselves upon another Rin."

"No, they can't, but one side is never always right, nor is the other side always wrong, is it?"

Had she picked that phrase up from the miko, he wondered, as he closed his eyes attempting to shut out his thoughts. Was she in fact quoting her? Rin had been so proud when she had recounted all the things she had learned, but he had primarily been interested in her learning how to defend herself. Had he been wrong in only finding value in what he wanted? No, he had wanted that to ensure her safety.

How strange that Rin could understand such things, when the cause of his confusion – Akatsuki - did not seem to realize it was no longer a debt he wanted to repay. When she did not seem to know that he truly cared about her.

Perhaps he had appeared... cold, distant and ... at the very least unaffectionate. Displaying his emotions had never been easy for him.

But did it matter enough for him to go after Akatsuki at this late date, to let her know?

Opening his eyes, he turned his head slightly and regarded Rin with a long look.

"But one's personal side is usually the most important to anyone," he said with finality, and turned his gaze back to the plans on his desk, determined to finalize them.

"Yes, it is," the young girl said with a brilliant smile, sounding as if she had completely forgotten what they had been talking about. "But people never get the chance to say what they want until it's too late," she concluded sullenly, as if considering something she had been unable to say. But to whom; her parents, her brothers; the miko? "I know it's not the same for you and Hidenka Akatsuki, because youkai don't die..."

Sesshomaru studied her curiously. "Youkai do die, Rin," the youkai lord corrected her. "We just live longer than human's."

"Well, a wise man knows that minor changes on both sides, can make for both being happy in the end."

Minor changes, the youkai lord repeated in his head. Would simple changes result in a happier ending than he was currently enduring?

The youkai lord's thoughts suddenly drifted to the last moments he had spent with Akatsuki when he had returned with her to the western Suzaku compound.

"You are a courageous youkai lord, Sesshomaru," she had said as she looked at him with those enchanting blue eyes. "I would not say this if I did not believe it. All my life, I have heard that you cared not for humans. But I no longer believe that. Your graciousness with Rin disproves that fact. So I would like to make a request, if I may?"

"What is it that you wish," he had asked, his heart breaking at the thought that whatever she was about to request would likely be the last thing she would ever ask of him, and even at that moment, he had fought himself not to take her in him arms and claim her then. But what if he had done that, made that one change in their departure, would she be here now? Or would she have hated him more for his brazenness?

"I hope you consider obtaining a human nanny for Rin's personal training," Akatsuki had said as she turned her gaze away from him. Had she done that for fear he would lie to her and say that he would, though she knew he would not and thus could not face him? But even at the end, she had shown concern for others, but he knew not her true thoughts. "She can learn a lot from you and Inuyasha; but only a human nanny, would be able to teach her the subtleties of life. The things a human girl would need to know."

He had not immediately commented on that. To achieve such a thing, would mean either leaving Rin with humans, or to bring a human into his castle. He was not certain that he wished to do either. But he knew he was still considering it. Was he not also the lord of the humans that walked his lands? Had he not said that once before, when the miko had died?

Akatsuki's first generation father had learned his lesson in the worst manner possible. Did he also wish to be so stubborn? Did he truly wish to live his life without Akatsuki by his side?

"Will you go find Hidenka Akatsuki, my lord?" Rin asked interrupting his thoughts, her brown eyes peering deep into his, as if searching out some unspoken answer that she would find buried in his eyes. "When Lord Sesshomaru goes to find someone, they always come back, don't they?"

Sesshomaru stared at the little girl. What was she doing? Was she in her not too subtle way telling him that he _should_go seek Akatsuki out? To talk to her, to let her know that he cared for her, deeply.

"You will find her, won't you my lord," Rin persisted.

Sesshomaru did not respond. His golden gaze simply studied her without any signs of revelation. What would it matter if he went to the Suzaku compound? Akatsuki had already made it clear that she could not mate with a youkai that could not love.

"Lord Sesshomaru, you will bring her back, won't you?" Rin persisted a little louder, extremely uncharacteristic of her nature, but clearly in search of a response. "She's a nice lady and Rin misses her, don't you miss her too?"

"Rin, I do not believe she wants to come back," Sesshomaru said rather reluctantly, but with finality, hoping to end the conversation there.

"But why not? She loves you and you love her don't you?"

"Why would you say that?"

"Because Rin knows the Lady Akatsuki and she knows Lord Sesshomaru. And Rin knows Lord Sesshomaru loves Lady Akatsuki."

"Rin, she is _Hidenka_Akatsuki. She is not Lady Akatsuki." He said with a weary voice.

"That's what she said too, but that's only because you didn't ask her yet, isn't it my lord?"

"You spoke to the hidenka about this?" he wanted to know as he angled his head to study her.

"Oh yes, we spoke about many things."

"What did she say?"

"She said she was not Lady Akatsuki because she was not your mate. But then she said she would not be because you didn't love her. But she's wrong isn't she my lord?" Rin asked looking at him with eyes that were nearly pleading. "You do love her, don't you?"

"What makes you think that?" Sesshomaru could not help but wonder if his unknown feelings for Akatsuki had truly been so blatantly obvious to everyone in the castle, if he had not hid his deep longing for her even from Rin.

"Because Lord Sesshomaru has not been the same, since my lady went back home."

"Not the same?"

_You must have noticed Rin has given you more flowers this week than she ever has before._

_You mean to tell me you haven't noticed the kid is worried about you?_

"No," Rin admitted softly, almost reluctantly; lowering her gaze, as if unwilling to fault her lord. "You've tried, but you have been so very unhappy. And Rin does not like to see her lord so unhappy."

If he were honest with himself, he had to admit, he had been unhappy, but he had hoped that he had simply projected his usual demeanor, but clearly he had not hid his thoughts from Rin. "Do you want her to be the Lady Akatsuki?"

"Oh, yes my lord. Don't you want her to be also," Rin asked in astonishment as she looked up at him. "Aren't you worried about her? Don't you love her?"

Love. Sesshomaru had never really thought about it, but if he were to give this word 'love' definition, he would imagine it encompassed many things. He would believe that whomever you loved filled you both with great sadness and great joy. This person would consume your every thought. You would wish no one else to possess them, while you would wish to possess them completely. You would wonder about their well-being, about what they were doing, and about whom they were doing it with. You would love talking to and listening to them, simply being with them. You would want nothing more than to protect them with your very life if need be. You would revel in the freedom they displayed, and wish to partake. You would wish to do things with them and for them. You would do whatever you could to fulfill their innermost desires. Your heart would pulse at their absence, because you were filled with such conflict and inner turmoil, because you wanted them with you. And Sesshomaru knew, finally; those were all things he felt about Akatsuki. Just the thought of not having her with him, was tearing him apart. She consumed his every thought. He did love her. He loved her very much.

Sesshomaru's heart warmed as he was overwhelmed by the knowledge that he did love Akatsuki, but more importantly, by the understanding that he truly wanted to love her and he hoped that perhaps she could love him as well.

_Sesshomaru, do you have something to protect?_

The youkai lord's eyes widened as he inhaled deeply. He now believed he understood what his chichi-ue wanted for him. His chichi-ue had died protecting those he cared for, those he loved. Akatsuki had also told him that.

_We are taught that a strong youkai protects themselves, but the strongest youkai stands up and protects others._

And they did that unquestioningly. Life meant nothing unless you had someone to protect. He understood that now. He had Rin, Jaken, Ah-Un and possibly even his hanyou brother. His compassion for them all had grown to incalculable measures; but it went beyond them. His life was still incomplete. At first he had thought it was only the hanyou his chichi-ue wished him to protect. But now, he knew there was one more person he needed to protect. One more person he truly _wanted_ to protect. But that person was also the one person who did not want him to protect her. Or, if Rin was correct, perhaps she did.

_Sesshomaru, you are an honorable youkai. Of that I have no doubt. It is your other abilities that I call into question._

That is what Akatsuki had said before she told him that story about her clan's history. Did that mean it was not his protection she objected to as much as the manner in which he had intended to provide it? He now knew, unless he had Akatsuki, his life would remain unsatisfying. But was he too late? That Akimaru...

_According to our clan traditions, I am likely to be his intended mate._

Had she already become his mate? The thought was sickening; he would be unable to live with such an occurrence. Had he truly allowed her to leave him and mate with another? She had not said she loved him. In fact, she had said no more about him. But Akatsuki was an honorable youkai. Would she have simply resigned herself to her clan's desires, even if it was not something she truly wished? No, she would not do that. She would not resign herself to her lord's wishes; in fact, she had even risked her very life when it was something she did not desire. But was this different? Would she do that to obtain that passion she desired? Akimaru was a Suzaku. He would know what she needed. The Suzaku hearts were more caring than other youkai. Akimaru could probably freely give her what she needed. He would not be filled with the hesitancy that had filled this Sesshomaru. But this Sesshomaru would not allow that. Akatsuki had awakened his heart and stretched it to its limits, and she should belong to him and him alone. He would allow no one else to claim her.

In truth, Sesshomaru realized that with the way he felt about Akatsuki, somehow, it was different now that she was gone. He missed the soft tilt of her lips and the sparkle in her eyes that sent an equal one shooting through him. He missed the way she called his name, like it was hers alone to say. He missed the tears she shed, that he himself wanted to end, but had he caused her to shed more?

He had previously thought to love would make one weak, but he now knew that to protect those he loved, he needed to be strong, he had to be. And he knew that despite the contempt he had held toward the hanyou for so many years, this was something he must have known all along.

_I have someone I have to protect. And that's why I can never give up._

That is what he had said when they had faced Sou'unga together. While he himself had thought such a statement simply displayed one as weak and would never have declared such a weakness in himself. So despite the fact that he protected both Rin and Jaken, he had simply declared that he, himself, had no one to protect.

_It's good not to lie to others, but don't lie to yourself, either._

Is that what he was doing; lying to himself all his life?

Sesshomaru knew what he wanted to do. But Akatsuki was a capable and powerful youkai in her own rights. She did not need to be protected; something he had refused to acknowledge for so long. But that was because he thought he was obligated to protect her, but now, he _wanted_to protect her. He wanted to do that more than anything. Not because of an obligation, but because he... because he loved her. But did she love him?

_All my life, I have heard that you cared not for humans. But I no longer believe that._

By saying that, had Akatsuki in essence told him that if he indeed did as Rin had suggested, made some minor changes that her opinion of him would change? Was she saying that she was not so inflexible, that she could never care for him?

Akatsuki had not said she could not be with him, specifically, had she? No, she had only said she could not be with a youkai to repay a debt, or one that could not love; but he was not that youkai anymore, was he? He did love. He loved her. He had simply not told her that. But he would now, for his own sanity, he had to. "I will bring her back," Sesshomaru said, not knowing why. Troubled by the implications of his blatant statement, he knew he could indeed seek Akatsuki out, but there was no guarantee she would return with him if he could not convince her that he had changed. She was not a youkai who would settle for less than her heart's desire. His only hope was that she would desire him, as much as he did her.

As far as Rin was concerned, there was no more to discuss as she bounced to the pads of her feet; arms spread in the air, twirling her way back toward the futon. His words had clearly enlivened her heart; as if now that he had said them all would be right with the world. His heart though, was not quite so light; as he watched Rin uncertainly he fought the urge to sigh. Sesshomaru's only desire was that he had not filled her with false hope.

He studied her as she danced on tippy toes around the room. Rin had a lot of wisdom for a young girl. In the short time she had been with the miko, she had learned a lot more. Perhaps Akatsuki was correct. She did require a human nanny to tend to her needs. Well he would do that; because Akatsuki had asked him to. He would not disappoint her, and he would not disappoint himself, he would go to her. He would tell her that he loved her.

He had no idea how Akatsuki felt about him. He knew only that he was certain he loved her. She was always uppermost in his consciousness. He thought always of her well-being. Even now, he wondered where she was, what she was doing and whether her health was well. He wanted her back, he could not deny that. But would that be enough? Did it matter? Once again, leaving business unfinished would be undesirable, especially this business.

Perhaps confronting Akatsuki face to face was his only option. Over the years, his compassion had grown. Over the past few weeks, his compassion for her had grown more than he ever would have imagined. It was one thing when life simply included Jaken, then it grew to include Rin, and then his hanyou brother, but now it just kept growing. He was the youkai lord of the western and southern territories, and he felt like he was losing control. His life had begun to change and he had not even realized. Now, he was no longer the youkai lord who cared for no-one. Perhaps if he confronted Akatsuki he could somehow convince her of his love for her, or failing that, perhaps he could convince her to return with him, thus giving himself an opportunity to display his true affection. One thing he knew for certain is that he could not allow it to end like this, he had to try.

He had to try for his own sake, if not for Rin's. He could not allow this to go unsettled any longer. He could not allow Akatsuki to be out of his life so easily. He had often considered himself a non-communicator. But the truth was that he had never wanted to be. But then, he had never wanted Akatsuki before. He would conquer this, he had to. He had to let her know how much she meant to him. He had to let her know that he loved her. He had no idea if anything he said to her could possibly redeem himself in her eyes, but he would try.

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**Okay my lovelies,  
Inuyasha has tried to do some hinting to his brother and Rin has had a good talking to with her lord. Will he heed their words? We know he never likes to disappoint Rin, even if he disappoints himself. But more importantly, if he does go to Akatsuki, will he be too late? Will she still want him? Or will she have already taken Ōji Akimaru as her mate? Remember it's been three weeks and she really didn't think Sesshomaru wanted her when she left. She thought she was nothing more than a burden to him and she really didn't believe he was capable of loving her.**

**Sesshomaru may be forced to realize that the world doesn't sit and wait for anyone, not even a daiyoukai.**

**I hope this chapter wasn't too long. Rin had a lot to say her lord, or actually, it was more that I wasn't sure what Rin should say to her dear lord. It was difficult getting their conversation just right. I hope I didn't make her sound too mature, I reworked it several times, but even though I tried to attribute some of her wisdom to Kaede, I'm not sure if it came out quite right. I wanted her to get him to think, but I know they have a rather reserved connection and wasn't sure how to get her point across without overstepping their boundaries (though I know I did to some degree). But I hope it came out okay.**

**Anyway, I cut out the last three pages to conserve on length. It was just that Inuyasha and Jaken returned with nearly an army of youkai willing to work for Lord Sesshomaru, the youkai who had killed the evil succuvex. And then of course Sesshomaru told Inuyasha to watch over Rin and everyone else, because he had business to take care of. Would you believe it, even though he didn't know what business, Inuyasha had a good idea and actually wished his brother luck. But of course, Sesshomaru did not respond. He has never appreciated being wished luck before a battle. He never believed he needed it. And that's what he seems to be doing now, going off to battle for the heart of the youkai he has finally admitted that he loves.**

Akatsuki - (Aurora/Dawn)  
chichi-ue - (father)  
Daidokoro - (kitchen)

Hebikinu - youkai serpent skin silk garment that fits the body like a second skin  
hidenka - (princess)  
Ōji - (prince)


	40. Chapter 40 Private Confrontation

**Shō 40- Shiteki Taiketsu  
Chapter 40-Private Confrontation**

Sesshomaru discarded the thought of going to the Suzaku castle as memories of Akatsuki's love of early morning swims and her swimming lessons to Rin flooded his mind. It was the primary reason he had accepted the area of land Inuyasha had located - because of the nearby lake. Despite the fact that he had not seen the area until after Akatsuki had departed, some part of him had still hoped, just as he hoped now. He had never lived his life based on hope of any sort, but until he could secure Akatsuki in his life, he had to; he had no other options.

But he could not help but wonder if he was wrong? What if he had misunderstood these sensations he believed she filled him with? What if what he felt, was not the love she required? What if what he felt, was simply his needs and desires once more? He had never previously concerned himself with the emotions of others, but what if she did not want him? What if she cared not what he felt? But did that matter? He wanted her. He wanted her like he had wanted no others in his life. Unless he could possess her, he knew he would remain incomplete.

So with no thought of any other destination, Sesshomaru flew directly to the location he had gone to the first time he found Akatsuki using her amulet - the waterfall.

His heart nearly sang in joy when he scented her. Continuing forward, his golden eyes searched the open plains, until he sighted her. She was seated behind a tree, wearing a kimono not unlike the ones she had worn after she had gone swimming, and he wished he had come earlier. Now, she was humming; her freedom of spirit audible through the melodic tones echoing above the leaves. Though uncertain of the possible outcome, the youkai lord approached closer, then stopped when she suddenly stopped humming, leaning back against the tree and sighed; a hopeless, desperate sigh.

"Oh, Sesshomaru ..."

He froze; her voice sounded so sad and so unbelievably heartbroken; and clearly she knew he was there; was that why she sounded so pained? Sesshomaru swallowed uncomfortably. Had his mere arrival placed such sadness in her voice? Had she sensed him? He was uncertain; he knew little of the capabilities of her sensor abilities. That was just one of the many things he wanted to know more about. But he wanted to know so much more about her on all aspects. She seemed to be the opposite half of his very soul. She completed him. Her caring heart had opened his, and stretched it to a limit he would never have dreamed. The companionships he'd formed over the years had likely started his heart to care, but meeting her caused him to truly love. He could find no words to express the sensations she filled him with.

He wanted her in his life. Was she, though, still so determined to have him out of hers? Would she call to her guards? He would be unable to bear the humiliation. He wanted to tell her that he cared so deeply for her; that he truly loved her; that he would deny the fact that she had opened his heart no longer.

Akatsuki issued a soft chuckle, as if she had read his thoughts. "I am certain everyone thinks I am quite insane because I come and sit out here every day and simply talk to myself. They say it is unnatural, as if I do not know that. But it helps me to think; at least a little, anyway," she said in that sad voice.

Sesshomaru was confused as he watched her. She sounded like she was talking to him, but she made no indication of knowing his location. She stared off into the distant sky, as if expecting him to materialize there. Never once did she even turn to glance in his direction.

"The funny thing is," she went on, as a gentle breeze whipped up around her and she caught several errant strands of hair and tucked them behind her ear. "If they had any idea what I was saying to myself, they might even believe I have fallen to the depths of the Suzaku curse and my father would probably have me locked away, for the clans protection," she laughed sadly again, wrapping her arms beneath her breasts. "I miss you so much," she half announced, half whispered.

Sesshomaru's eyes widened in stunned surprise; as he was certain what he felt then, was a small flicker of hope in his heart. Despite the chilled air, he felt a fine mist develop on his forehead, neck and back. Her words sent what felt like sparks shooting through his body and he could not contain his spiraling emotions. What she had just gave him renewed hope. It was a simple phrase, but he could not believe what he had just heard. His heart felt as if it were going to jump right out of his ribcage. Did he imagine her saying that? Or did she indeed...

And still she went on; and he listened; wanting to hear more. "I want nothing more than to see you again, even though I know that is impossible, or at least not the way I would want to. Because I know for us any future encounters will be only formality and cordial graces. But I do not want that."

For an instant Sesshomaru wanted to rush to her side, wrap his arms around her and reassure her by letting her know that he did not want that either, and he nearly did, until he realized she did not know he was there. She clearly thought she was alone and was only pretending to talk to him. Overwhelmed and unsure of what to do, the youkai lord hovered a little lower and listened intently, despite the sickening feeling of knowing he was blatantly invading her privacy. But he wanted to hear this; no, he needed to hear this. She was saying things to him that he never thought he would hear.

"Why must youkai live their lives based on obligation alone?" She wanted to know and it hurt him to hear her ask that, because he remembered how she had attempted to run from him to avoid that obligation. And with the distraught tone in her voice, he knew she must hate him for that, for not listening to her when she tried to tell him, for not asking her what she desired. He wanted to go to her now and tell her that he had changed, but she continued.

"I am the hidenka of the western Suzaku clan. For my clan's sake, I know I must mate soon. It is my obligation. Obligation…," she repeated with a heavy sigh, and Sesshomaru could almost feel the tear slip from her eye. "But why is it that youkai do not love? Why is it that I do? Is this truly a curse, or is this simply the natural order of things?" She demanded almost angrily. "If it is a curse, then why me?" Akatsuki wanted to know, not holding back her anger or frustration. But Sesshomaru wanted to tell her that she was wrong, that he did love, but he could not, she would know that he had intruded upon her private thoughts. She could hate him for invading thoughts meant only for her.

"I know that I should forget you, and believe me, I have tried." Akatsuki stared at her hands as she twisted them uncomfortably in her lap. "But I look around me and all I see are superficial youkai, youkai who do not know what matters. Even Ōji Akimaru, who says he loves me, knows not what matters." She laughed half-heartedly, and her voice lowered to a whispered hush as she felt her heart grow heavy with the pain of knowing she would likely never have the youkai she loved. "And now, tonight I must...," but she could not continue. The thought was too painful.

With his own heart filled with pain, Sesshomaru studied her slumped shoulders and he knew now, why he had always attributed love to a weakness. Watching her like this, so filled with anger and likely hatred toward him, brought to light all the reasons he had not wanted to love. Not because he believed he could ever hurt anyone so, but because seeing her in so much agony, tore at his own heart, and made him feel so very weak and useless. He knew that the pain and anguish she suffered had been caused by him, and him alone and he could not bear it. He would willingly suffer for her, but he did not want her to suffer because of him, but there was nothing he could do. Because of his callousness, she had been injured twice, and now, because she cared about him, he had hurt her further. He could not allow her to be so weakened because of him. He may well want her, but he did not believe he truly deserved her.

"Would you believe that lately in the foolish hopes of feeling you near me, I have slept for one purpose only; to visit you in my dreams; to see your face; to be held in your arms. But then I awaken and when I do, I curse myself for allowing myself such torture. But then, I foolishly look forward to it when I fall asleep again, and so I have slept more than ever in my life, except, of course, when I was injured." She laughed, quietly and somehow utterly tragically.

"Sesshomaru..." the way she called his name, the sadness in her voice, so much pain and anguish made his heart feel like it sank to the pit of his stomach. "I am such a fool. I know it is uncustomary for a life sorceress such as I to even consider mating outside the Suzaku clan, because I know youkai do not generally love; but I am afraid no one has told my foolish heart," she remained silent for a moment, and Sesshomaru wondered what she would say. Would she curse him for not telling her that he loved her? "Because I think I have fallen in love with you. No, in fact, I know I have. I have fallen in love with the one youkai who could probably never love," she issued a heart wrenching sigh, her sadness and anger was too painful for him to bear.

"I am far more foolish than even my first generation mother. At least she had enough sense to fall in love with her mate, even if he, like you, could not love her in return. While I...I," her words died in her throat, and the youkai lord thought she would choke on them.

There was a long pause in which Sesshomaru could not even think; he hated himself for being the one to cause her such pain, he could not believe the words she had uttered, the same words he had tried so hard to ignore in his own mind. The entire world went quiet, not even the trees seemed to stir, not even a breath of air breezed by, as his own breath caught in his chest, but he was even more pained when she spoke again.

"I do not understand you, but even more, I realize I understand even less about myself. Why were you not that youkai I had heard of all my life. It would have been so much easier to leave. Why were you so kind to me? If you could not love, it would have been better had you not cared for me at all," Akatsuki said with such venom, it felt as if she had fired an arrow straight into the youkai lord's heart. "Why did you care for and make me love you? Do you not know it would have been far better for you to have taken my life than to take my heart, and then to completely disregard it by simply tossing it aside? To die I am certain would have been far less painful."

Sesshomaru felt like his heart, his very soul was being ripped apart; so much so that he did not wish to listen further. But why had she not told him this? He would never have let her go, had he known. But would he not? He had not told her what he himself felt. But perhaps she had not because she had sensed his attempts to push aside such thoughts in his own mind. If not for the insistence of the hanyou and Rin, he would not be here now. Would he ever be able to convince her that he had changed? To convince her that he truly... He could not tolerate her thinking such things about him; but he knew his previous acts had been well known. At that time, he had believed it necessary. But now...

He watched as she shifted slightly, and he wondered if perhaps this was his punishment for previously not caring. Now that he did, would he ever find solace by being able to hold her in his arms, or would she forever be outside his embrace? She held such anger toward him. Anger he was certain he deserved, but uncertain he could face. It amazed him how much he had changed since meeting her. He had thought that just being the lord of the western lands entitled him to untold privileges. But she had shown him that being the lord of the lands was not nearly as important as loving her; and he loved her so much. But now, he knew not what to do. Should he go to her? Should he let her know he had heard her thoughts? Should he let her know that he had changed and that he loved her so very much?

"But I cannot tell anyone this, except perhaps myself," Akatsuki continued, her tone quiet and forlorn. "Everyone would think I was a fool. Neither my parents nor my handmaidens would ever understand what I am experiencing. They care for me, but I do not want their pity."

Akatsuki chuckled slightly. "You know, they even asked me if I had stayed in your castle so long because you had perhaps hurt me. I wanted to tell them no; that you were not that type of youkai; that you would never..." she paused, as if reflecting on her thoughts. "But I could not because in truth, you did. You hurt me by not loving me; but perhaps it was I who hurt myself by loving you. So I simply said nothing; because what could I tell them? That it was I, who did not wish to leave? Because in the end, I did not," she confessed wistfully almost as if daring him to respond. "Although I think my mother may know, she always seems to know. I think I have even seen some small degree of pity in her eyes, though she has said nothing. But the truth is, my care at your hands was so truly wonderful; so incredibly caring; so extremely unselfish. I had never thought such acts were in your heart or your nature. You had been so attentive to me that I could not help myself." That hauntingly sad whisper drifted from her lungs, once more, though she appeared indecisive.

"Why did you have to feel indebted to me? Do you even know how painful that was for me to bear?" Her voice rose and its tone seemed to direct her internal anger directly at him, and it tortured him. "To be so near you, and yet so far away; how could you do that to me? And yet, I am such a foolish youkai that some awful little corner of my mind dares to think that you will come for me some day, even though I know that is not possible, because you will never love. I know that. I know we are ill-suited for each other, because love is beneath you, but I am a youkai who needs to be loved." She laughed as if angry at herself now.

But it was such a hollow sound it made him feel as if he too were empty. As he watched her sob softly, he reflected, on when he had initially seen her tears. He had always despised weakness. Though he had not admitted it until now, he had for some unknown reason, always looked at her as someone he should care for, not despise. Was it because she was female? No, female youkai could be more deadly than the males, and he knew that. Or was it because of the guilt he had eventually felt over her injury? Or was it because he had known she would never have been so damaged if she had not assisted him? And he had believed even in her unconscious state that her tears had somehow been caused by him. Is that why he loved her now, because even though he had not known it, from the very beginning, he had looked at her as someone he wanted to protect? Much like he had wanted to do ever since she had fallen, he wanted to do nothing more than to take her into his arms and kiss away her tears, but to go to her now, he could not bear it if she told him to leave.

"Since I cannot stop my thoughts, I sit out here, letting the wind blow across my face, and imagine that it is your gentle touch," she sobbed.

Sesshomaru felt a horrid sensation flow though him. He had not intended to make her cry so. But he continued to hover above and behind her line of vision for a few minutes, stunned, thinking. She said she loved him; but it was his heart she was uncertain of. He could not leave it like that. He had to let her know. Through his haha-ue's friend, he had learned long ago, how to please a female, but he had never bothered to. He had held no true interest in them, simply using them to satisfy his own need. But now, he wanted nothing more than to attempt to please this youkai who shed tears because of him. He had to convince her that he had changed. Despite Rin's claims that she believed Akatsuki loved him, he had been hesitant of coming to her; but somehow just by seeing her like this, hearing his own uncertain thoughts spill from her lips had changed his view. He had to let her know that being without her was tearing him apart. He had to let her know how much he did love her. He had intruded upon and heard her innermost thoughts without her knowledge; he had to let her know that his heart belonged to her as well; that he loved her so very much.

Not wanting her to know that he had invaded her private musings, Sesshomaru waited just a while longer, until unable to stand it; he flew forward and landed in front of her.

"Ses-sho-maru," Akatsuki began with stunned surprise as she looked into the golden eyes of her unexpected visitor. "What are you doing here?" She asked quickly brushing her palm across her face to erase any signs of her tears.

He could not be here, she thought frantically. Why was he here? Had he as the lord of two lands come for the ceremony? How could he? Was it his intent to simply watch her pledge herself to another? Her thoughts rambled wildly. Did he not know how he had torn her heart apart? How could he be so cruel? How could he not care that it hurt her to see him now? Did he not know that he had ended her life as it had been? Her heart had wanted to see him; had hoped to see him; but she was not strong enough to do that; not yet. She had not thought him a malicious youkai, but to be here now, when her heart was in such tatters; why?

"I came because I wanted," he paused and rephrased; his heart still pained as he looked down at her knowing tears were only inches away from flooding her pained filled eyes once more. A pain he knew he had caused. "I needed to talk to you."

Making every attempt to stone her emotions as her heart thumped and vibrated wildly, Akatsuki studied him with a puzzled gaze that pulsed with discomfort and uncertainty. "About?" she asked, uncertain about the impending and unexpected confrontation. Uncertain if she would have the strength to let him go when he had finished completely breaking down her world and tearing her apart once more.

"You told me you could not be with me to repay a debt."

Her crystal blue eyes studied him in continued puzzlement and mistrust. "I cannot," she replied, diverting her gaze and looking down at the grass beside her, her heart breaking slowly. But did she, at one point, not say she would accept him even if all he wished was to repay a debt? Would it matter if she died because he did not love her? No, she was already dying without him in her life.

"Can you be with me for any reason?" He wanted her to tell him. He wanted to hear those words come from her lips while he watched her say them.

"I cannot be with anyone for any reason, save one."

"And that is?"

Seeking solace from her tormented heart, Akatsuki rose and looked out across the water. "Sesshomaru I am a life sorceress," the words choked from her lips. "I have felt the pain of many youkai in my life," she said, her voice filled with a sadness that touched his already troubled heart. "Sometimes I do not dare allow myself to touch another for fear I might slip and touch their souls."

"But you can still sense their heart?"

"Only when I choose too."

"Can you sense mine?"

Turning to peer into his golden gaze, Akatsuki was uncertain of his meaning, but, "My powers will no longer work on you," she said, assuming he must have forgotten, then she turned away.

"I did not specifically mean what you sensed as a life sorceress."

Akatsuki glanced at him across her shoulder once more, before quickly turning away. "What do you want from me Sesshomaru?"

"I want you to tell me what you feel for me."

What she felt for him? How ironic, she thought as she stifled a laugh in her lungs. "I do not want to be obligated by a debt, Sesshomaru. Youkai custom or not, I cannot and will not be controlled by one." Why had she said that? Why had she lied to him? No, she was lying to herself. "I need someone who understands and cares about me. Yes, I do wish it could be you; but not merely as an obligation, but because we loved each other. Why did you make me love you when you could not return my love?" she demanded, now angered that he had dared come to question her heart when he knew he could not give her what she needed; what she wanted. "Unlike how you choose to live your life, I am a youkai that needs and wants love in her life. I know I cannot fault you for living your life as you so choose, that is your right. But still, I cannot help but wonder why is it that you cannot love?" She demanded, clearly angered now, as if he had specifically chosen not to love her. As if he had chosen to taunt and hurt her in such a manner.

Gently taking hold of her arm, Sesshomaru turned her toward him, as he looked down into those ocean blue eyes that warmed his heart, then kissed away the traces of her tears that still lingered near the corners of her eye. "Akatsuki, it was not my intent to hurt you so," he said, holding securely onto her arm. "I am certain I know what you must have heard about me over the years. I am also certain I know what you must have read in my brother's heart as well as my own. But I am not that youkai anymore," Sesshomaru's voice was deep as his gaze burned into her eyes, while he studied her intently.

"I have not been him for quite some time. Never had I known how to love, but my heart has changed. It began to change before I became aware of it. After I met you and brought you into the castle, I have to admit that I was afraid of what was happening to me and I tried to fight it; but my heart had changed more than I ever thought it could," he moved closer toward her. "And I have never been so grateful for anything. All my life, I thought love was a human emotion or something only for those who had human hearts," his gaze softened as he continued to peer into her eyes. "I thought it made one weak, and I had never wished to be weak. All my life, I sought to be the strongest youkai I could possibly be, and I obtained that, but in trying to hang on to that, I nearly lost the one person that truly gave me strength."

Akatsuki studied him in deep puzzlement. No, he could not be saying what she believed she was hearing. She had sat under that stupid tree for so long, that now, she had become delusional.

As if knowing her thoughts, Sesshomaru smiled down at her. "I am a youkai with a youkai's heart and I love you Akatsuki," he said unequivocally, as she gasped in shocked surprise. "I admit there was a time when I was just like your first generation father, but I am no longer. I can and want so very much to be the youkai who gives you that passion you so desire," Sesshomaru said, then decided to admit a thought that had plagued him these past weeks. "Though you did not know it, letting you go was the hardest thing I believe I have ever done. I had already fallen in love with you before I let you leave," he took her hand in his, intertwining their fingers together. "But I could not say so, after you made it clear that you were so determined to go."

"Sesshomaru," Akatsuki whispered, her breadth catching, her eyes wide with stunned amazement. "I thought... I thought you were being attentive only because you are the lord of the western lands and you felt a youkai's obligation."

Sesshomaru smiled; his eyes tender and loving. "I do feel obligated - obligated to convince you that I love you and to bring you back with me Akatsuki. I want you by my side, to rule, to fight, to do whatever it is iyou/i desire. I do not wish to rule without you as my mate," he said as he lowered his gaze, unable to meet her eyes.

Filled with trepidation, Sesshomaru debated about revealing his encroachment of her privacy. But he would not allow them to begin with secrets between them; that would be far worse than anything she had heard of him in the past. She had opened her heart, and he wanted her to know how much he appreciated that, even though she had not known that he had heard her words. "I must confess I heard what you said earlier, and I want you to know that I agree with what you wish," he looked up, pulling her towards his chest and wrapping his arms around her.

Unable to help herself, Akatsuki was filled with such love and warmth, that a tear slid slowly down her cheeks as she allowed herself to revel in his embrace.

"Akatsuki I am not seeking a partner only to bear me children. I want a lover. I want a fighter. I want a mate who will not simply bow to my will, but one who will tell me exactly what she thinks when she stands up for her rights. I want you to be forever by my side," he said as he trailed a claw slowly across her lips. Her eyes widened as he moved his hands, gently caressing her fingers between his, then peering deep into her eyes. "You were correct when you tried to run from me. At first, I had thought only to repay a debt, but Akatsuki you taught me that the important thing in life is to love without denying it or either run the risk of losing the most important person in your life. Can you not see how much I have changed because of you? On that night, ever since you fell from the sky, you landed not only in my arms, but in my heart."

Akatsuki stared at him utterly breathless, nodding weakly, her knees nearly collapsing beneath her. She issued a soft breath through her slightly parted lips. "Sesshomaru, I... I...," overwhelmed with emotion, her words caught in her throat.

"I know what you wish to say," the youkai lord lowered his gaze, unable to deny the validity of her unspoken words. "I have been uncaring for so long that you do not believe me," Sesshomaru continued, his golden eyes tender and hopeful. "But it is true, Akatsuki. You have changed my heart so completely. I want nothing more than to spend my life loving and protecting you."

"Sesshomaru, my love," Akatsuki gushed with so much emotion filling her tattered heart. "I have waited so long to hear you say those words. But... but why now?"

"Because previously I have been foolish and I needed to have some sense beat into my head, but I now realize I have waited so long to say them," he smiled down at her. "Now," the youkai lord decided, as he reluctantly released his embrace. "I will say them to your father."

"My father," Akatsuki repeated as her mind was rudely thrust back into the reality of her situation. "No," she said, almost panic stricken as she lowered her head, then literally collapsed to her knees.

Stunned, Sesshomaru turned to study her in confusion. "Akatsuki, my love, what is wrong?" He wondered as he rushed toward her and wrapped his arms around her shoulders, studying her with deep concern. "Do you not wish to be my mate?"

"Sesshomaru I could not possibly want anything more, but you... you cannot..." Akatsuki knew not how to tell him as tears flooded her eyes. How could she possibly tell him that now that they had both declared their love for each other that they would likely still never be mates because of those dreaded youkai rules and obligations.

* * *

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**Okay my lovelies,  
I just want to let you know that I will conclude this fiction in the next three chapters. I have hinted at a lot of things that I have not yet touched upon, but I do not believe I will continue that story here. The union of the two youkai has turned out to be so very long. If I continue with the story line, I think what I will do is end this fanfic and start a continuation type of story, which will pick up several months after the ending for this one if anyone is interested. So let me know at the end, whether you would be interested in knowing what happens, otherwise, that will probably be it.**

**Okay, at first, I had not intended to put in anything about having Sessy talk to Akatsuki's father, but decided to use it as another honorable youkai custom because I felt this could be a great prelude to some future problems for them.**

**I just wanted to add that this chapter was running really long and I had to split it into two. I felt since they had both taken so long to admit they loved each other and had been apart for over three weeks, that there was a lot to cover. But I'm actually trying to think how to end this sequence of events. And needed to postpone things a bit!**  
**Uggghhh!**

**But hopefully we'll find out what's stopping Akatsuki next week. But I'm sure you can guess. She has basically already hinted at it.**

**Hope you enjoyed!**

**Next up: Sesshomaru/Akatsuki Youkai Obligations.**

-  
Akatsuki - (Aurora/Dawn)  
chichi-ue - (father)  
hidenka - (princess)  
Ōji - (prince)


	41. Chapter 41 Finally, Someone to Protect

**A/N: Here's my latest update.**

*****Warning****

**Jjust want to let you know this is an X-rated chapter, not for anyone under the age of 18.**

**Hope you enjoy!**

**Shō 41-Tsuini, Nanimonok Kare Hontōni Yoku Tasukemamoru  
Chapter 41-Finally, Someone He Truly Wants to Protect**

"Akatsuki," Sesshomaru called out as he wrapped his arms around her, not knowing how to help her, though he wanted to do nothing more.

The youkai lord grew angered as Akatsuki cried and trembled in his arms. For so long, he had wanted to hold this youkai as he was doing now. He had wanted to end her tears. But had he caused her to shed more? Through her words, she had been so angered at him when he arrived. Had he now caused her even more pain? "What is it? Tell me what is wrong. What can I do?"

Through her teary vision, Akatsuki looked into the sparkling golden eyes of the youkai who knelt beside her. It was the same eyes she had seen a hundred times, but now, instead of the cold indifference she had seen in his castle, she could see concerned warmth flooding from him; warmth that was directed toward her. Even with his previous apparent indifference to her, she had learned to love him because of his caring touch. But now, because of the concern and warmth he exuded toward her, she knew he had changed. He was not that youkai she had left three weeks ago. He did care about her. Had her departure truly changed him so? She knew now, if she were to find a resolution to her problem, they would find it together. "It is just that..." A sadness trickled through her body and likely invaded her features as she looked up at him. "Sesshomaru," she began. "I am a Suzaku life sorceress," she said, despite knowing he would not truly know what she meant by that as he studied her with puzzled eyes.

"Akatsuki, I do not..."

"I know," she inhaled, not knowing if she would hurt him by saying what she must. But she knew by the time this was resolved, however it was resolved, someone she cared for, would be pained. "I know. But what I mean is I am the only living hidenka of my clan, and I am also a life sorceress."

"But...,"

Akatsuki lifted her fingers and rested them upon his lips. "Sesshomaru, I told you once before that Suzaku clan members do not generally follow youkai rules of obligation. In some instances, we have our own rules, but there are others that we adhere to strictly."

"I do not understand, do you have some custom that says I should not speak to your father and tell him that I wish for you to be my mate?"

"No, that is one of the customs we do hold to, among others," Akatsuki said as she sat down, then watched as Sesshomaru sat beside her. "It is just that because I am a life sorceress and a rarity, there is a custom that has been developed to honor my future mating - it is called a Sakini Haigūkōdō Gishiki."

"A pre-mating ceremony, to honor your mating? You mean like the humans?" Sesshomaru asked surprised. He knew because of their seclusion that there were likely many traditions the Suzaku held that he was unaware of. But he would not allow any custom to prevent him from taking her as his mate. "Akatsuki, you need not concern yourself. I will honor whatever custom you have."

"No," she shook her head. "It is not that. And it is not quite the same as the human's ceremonies."

"So is it that you do not wish to have this ceremony when we mate?" He asked, still uncertain of her objections to him speaking to her father.

"No," she shook her head, once more. She knew she needed to tell him. Earlier, she had thought simply being held in his arm, would make her complete. Little did she know that she would be, but only to find her world shattering around her. "It is not that either. It is just that tonight...," she hesitated again, her heart nearly crumbling at the prospect that because of the sequence of events, she may well be the first life sorceress to find a youkai she loved, who also loved her, but they may well never be together. Fate, itself, could be so cruel.

Sesshomaru continued to study her, growing more puzzled as he sat beside her; his body tensing as he awaited her as yet unknown revelation.

Akatsuki inhaled deeply once more. This was the youkai she loved. Her problems were his problems now, were they not? No, not yet; not until, or perhaps she should say, not unless they mated, and with her current situation, they may likely not; but she had to find the courage to tell him, but what would he do? Would he no longer want her? Would he step aside? She could not bear either.

"Akatsuki..." Sesshomaru started again, his heart tightening within him as he was filled with grave distress. Did she not believe her father would honor his request? But surely, despite what he might feel about him, would he not want his daughter to be the lady of two lands?

"It is just that...my parents ... they...," Akatsuki did not know where to begin, or how she could possibly extricate herself from her situation. "Because of my injuries, I...I have been away from home for so long, and now," she stumbled, afraid that she would lose the most important person in her life. "While I was gone, Ōji Akimaru was displeased with what happened to me, and he...," she could not say it. She could not tell him. But she knew she had to. She had hurt him before, but in telling him this, she knew she would hurt him again. "Ōji Akimaru does not want me traveling about so, risking my like anymore," she finally confessed.

"He does not want?" Sesshomaru's brows furrowed as he looked at her. "What does that youkai have to say about what you do?"

"Because, he wants me to rule by his side," Akatsuki declared. "He has already spoken to my father and now I am... my parents...," she did not wish to say it, but knew she had to force herself. "Everyone expects me to declare that I will mate with Ōji Akimaru. But... but with you here, I cannot," she said as a stream of tears flooded from her eyes once more. "Oh, Sesshomaru, there is nothing I can do. It is already arranged."

"What do you mean? What is arranged? I will simply tell your father that you wish to be my mate."

"No, you do not understand. Tonight... tonight... in mere hours, in fact, I am to have a ceremony held in my ..." she hesitated once more. "In my ... and Ōji Akimaru's honor. Tonight, I am to pledge myself to him."

Sesshomaru froze as he stared at her.

_A pre-mating ceremony for Akatsuki and ... _

The words thumped loudly in the youkai lord's head, but he could not finish the thought. He shuddered, refusing to think of anything that tied Akatsuki to another. He could not believe it; would not allow it. For over 500 years, he had lived his life, neither loving nor caring about anyone or anything. Now, he had found someone that he truly loved, truly wanted, and she was telling him that he could not have her. No, he would not accept that. She had opened his heart, and caused him to love, and he did love her. He wanted her; he would allow her to mate with no others. She should be his and his alone. The youkai lord tightened his grip around her trembling shoulders, as his lips tightened with this realization.

He had never heard of the ceremony she stated. He did not know what her obligations were. But over the years, only once had he known of two male youkai wanting to mate the same female, and they had simply dueled over her. He had always thought such an act was nonsense. Why would two males want the same female? He had always believed that another would serve just as well. But he knew now, for him, no one else would do. If he did not have Akatsuki... Well, he had seen this Akimaru. If he had to duel him for the rights to Akatsuki's heart, he would be no problem. He could think of nothing he hated more, than for her to shed such tears and for him to be unable to assist her. But after having his heart opened by her, he would not lose her to this Akimaru or anyone else.

"Is that not why I should speak to your father immediately? To let him know that is no longer your wish," he asked as he continued to study her, while she closed her eyes and hung her head. "Or is it?" Sesshomaru asked uncertain.

"Oh Sesshomaru," Akatsuki cried as she lifted her face to meet his golden gaze. "I wish to be with no one other than you. But I... I do not want," once more, her words caught in her throat.

"Akatsuki, tell me what is wrong. There is nothing I can do if I do not know."

"The problem is, I do not believe there is anything either of us can do even if you did know," she said as she considered the only available option they had. "Ōji Akimaru is a dear, old friend. I do not wish to hurt him like that. So I must go to that ceremony and announce that I will mate with him. It... it cannot be avoided, unless he was to die. But I would be unable to bear that outcome. I would not want anyone injured because of me."

"But Akatsuki I do not understand. What can be done? If we mate, will he not be injured then? But if we do not...," the youkai lord knew that would tear him apart. He had not realized it until she was gone, but he wanted nothing more than for her to be his. "Do you love him? Do you wish to be his mate?"

"No, I do not," Akatsuki whimpered. "I love you, only you. But I ... I would not feel comfortable if you were to take the Ōji's life. Like me, he is not a warrior and he would have no chance against you."

Sesshomaru now realized where her pain likely emanated. "You mean the duel, do you not?"

"Yes, but if you go to my father, he will insist upon it. He has always favored Ōji Akimaru and he does not..."

"He does not know me, he also likely does not even like me," he concluded for her, remembering the intense glare he had received from the Kokuō when he had gone to the castle to retrieve assistance for her injuries. At that time, he had almost thought the Kokuō would attempt to duel him, himself. "For that I am sorry. But Akatsuki, can you not simply call it off? Can we not simply say that I love you and that I wish you to be my mate?"

"And, I yours, but ..., Sesshomaru, it is not that simple. I cannot simply allow you to kill the Ōji. He is not a warrior like you. I do not believe he has even entered a battle these past few hundred years."

"Akatsuki, you told me you would not be ruled by an obligation. Should we not simply say that to your father? Would he not believe it would be far better for you to be my mate, so that I can protect you?"

Akatsuki lowered her head as she closed her eyes. "Unfortunately, my father is not me. This is not simply a matter of what I wish. And I do not believe his refusal would be a simple matter of protection. He would believe I would have more than sufficient protection inside the Suzaku compound. In some ways, my father is much like you. He holds strictly to his honor. And he would not believe it would be honorable to simply deny the Ōji's request at this late point, without taking what he believes are the appropriate counter steps."

"Then what do you wish to do?" Sesshomaru asked as he looked down at her; his heart tightening as if it were being squeezed inside his body. "I will not sit back and allow you to become mate to this Akimaru."

Akatsuki hung her head. She had no idea what to do. This was a matter of the Ōji's honor, of all of their honor. "I do not know," she said thoughtfully. "But perhaps I should simply not go," she said, knowing she could not recall even hearing that a youkai had not followed through on such a tradition. None from the Suzaku clan had ever done such a thing, but had any other youkai? But she cared not, even if she were to be the first, she would not lose her love.

Sesshomaru studied the struggles in her eyes, his own body tensing in conflict. "Do you believe that would be the appropriate thing to do? To simply not show with no explanation of why?"

"No, but I do not care, I know not what else to do, I..." her thoughts could not be gathered as she considered the possibility that she could well be the first life sorceress to not obtain the youkai she loved because of youkai rules and obligations. "My love, take me back to your castle with you," Akatsuki pleaded, her eyes pulsing with confusion. "If you do that, we can mate there."

Sesshomaru studied her ocean blue eyes, still filled with water. "Akatsuki, there is nothing I would want more than to take you back with me, and for you to become my mate; but ..." he hesitated as he considered that option. "When would we tell your parents?"

"They will find out eventually," Akatsuki said, diverting her face from his view.

"Eventually," Sesshomaru repeated, struggling with her words as he lifted his hand and dragged his palm slowly along her hair. "I cannot allow that," he said well aware of what the Kokuō likely already thought of him. It was not that that mattered to him at this moment, as much as her, but he could not allow her to separate from her parents in such a manner; that could eventually cause her to hate him over time. "I cannot allow you to dishonor your parents in such a manner, without telling them immediately. If you wish to go back with me, we must tell them before we leave. You will not leave them wondering," he informed her, noticing the distinct slump in her shoulders. They both knew if they did that, he would have no choice but to kill her friend.

"Tell me, how long has this ceremony been planned?" Sesshomaru asked, wanting to know what he was up against.

"Since last week," Akatsuki responded listlessly.

"Who will attend?"

"The clan heads as well as royal outsiders, perhaps. But Sesshomaru, I cannot attend. I just cannot. If I lose you, I..."

"We shall think of something," Sesshomaru said reassuringly, tightening his grip around her shoulder, though he knew not where to focus his thoughts.

"Sesshomaru," Akatsuki began a few minutes later, as she lifted her head to face him. "Perhaps I should talk to my mother. She is a life sorceress such as I. She would understand more readily. And if I can obtain her sanction...," Akatsuki did not finish. She knew what she was proposing was simple hope.

Sesshomaru continued studying her, a puzzled confusion settling around him. "But how will that change anything?" he wanted to know. "Would your mother not simply speak to your father? And would the situation not remain as it currently is?"

Yes, she would, Akatsuki acknowledged silently to herself. Her mother would never hold such a thing from her father.

"Besides," Sesshomaru cupped his fingers beneath her chin, aware of an uncertainty invading him like never before. "I would never allow you to talk to anyone about this alone. But perhaps the only solution is for me to talk to the Ōji myself."

"No," Akatsuki protested. "I do not believe that would be wise. He has, at times, displayed little restraint," she said, knowing full well the Ōji Akimaru had already demonstrated strong hatred for his new lord. "And he may well incite you to...," she paused as she adjusted her words. "I do not believe he would respond well if you were to approach him, or even if I were to approach him about this. And so, it would still end the same."

Sesshomaru watched her as she lowered her head once again. He could scent her pain dripping from her pores. She was in such conflict and he could not bear it. He knew full well that if he had not allowed her to leave him, or had he simply acknowledged the compassion that was growing inside him all along, she would never have agreed to this ceremony. And now, at this late date, he had come to her to claim her as his own. He could not stand the fact that he had caused her such pain. Did he have such rights? He would rather be out of her life, than to see her suffer so. "Akatsuki," Sesshomaru began reluctantly. Was it not better for him to suffer than her? "You are in this situation because of my reluctance to come to you, as well as my willingness to allow you to leave," he began knowing this was not something he truly wished to propose. "Despite the fact that I do not wish to, if it would be easier for you, I will step aside."

"Step aside?" Akatsuki repeated with confusion as she stared at him with wide-eyed disbelief. "But... but you said you loved me. Do you not?"

Sesshomaru tightened his grip around her shoulders. "Akatsuki, I may never have loved before, but I do know that I love you now," he said, hoping she would understand that he was proposing this for her sake. "My understanding of what love means is that I should not willingly cause you pain," he cupped her face with his palm. "I do not wish to take the life of your friend. But it was my acts that allowed you to commit yourself to attend this ceremony, even if unwillingly, I see no other honorable option other than to stand aside."

"Sesshomaru, no. I cannot let you go," Akatsuki declared as she clung to him, as if in an attempt to fully demonstrate her commitment to him. "There must be something else we can do," she protested. "To know that I would not have you, I would surely die. In fact," she began as she threw her head back, exposing the vulnerable arc of her throat. "Take my life," she declared boldly. "You spared me before, but take it now," she pleaded as she studied him, daringly. "I would rather you take my life now; then it would matter not about anyone's honor to me," she declared.

Sesshomaru knew she was serious, but he could not do it; would not do it. He had spared her life before because she meant something to him. She meant even more to him now and he could never hurt her so, he realized as he folded her into his arms.

Akatsuki clung to him in desperation, as she looked into his eyes a thought immediately entered her head. Perhaps there was one thing they could do. It would not be completely honorable, but she cared not for honor, she cared only for this youkai whose arms held her securely. "Sesshomaru," she began reluctantly, knowing what they would have to do. "Is it truly me that you love above all others?"

"There is no one I love more," he said looking down at her and placing a gentle kiss upon her forehead.

"But," she began slowly, hesitantly. "You do not wish to take me to your castle, without first telling my parents."

Sesshomaru tilted his head as he studied her. "Akatsuki, I cannot."

"What if...," she hesitated once more as she looked at him briefly. "What if...," she lowered her gaze, afraid to look at him. "If ... if we were already mated. I mean, if we mated now..., then it should be far easier for everyone to accept," She gushed out, as she looked away in embarrassment. "Ōji Akimaru is an honorable youkai and he... he will step aside, I am certain. You would have no reason to..." her words choked in her throat.

Stunned, Sesshomaru stared at her. "Akatsuki, if I do not speak to your father that would be ... dishonorable. I am not."

"I know my love. I know, and I am so sorry. But my father would blame no one but me. He might initially be unhappy, but I am his only living daughter; his first born. He loves me, and he would not wish to deny me what I truly desire. If we mate now, then I can talk to my parents afterward. And if we did mate, they would know it is you I prefer. They would accept my decision. And the duel would be unnecessary because there would be no need."

"To mate now, without the sanction of your parents?" The youkai lord was as uncertain of that option as he was of all the others. But she was correct, if they did mate _before_ talking to her parents, the Ōji would likely step aside. Any honorable youkai would, and so, there would be no need for him to take her friend's life. She had offered up her life to him as a testament of her love. Could he do any less? Although mating without the appropriate sanction would not be honorable in itself, he did love her and she loved him. He did not wish to lose her to youkai customs. Especially to lose her to a youkai she did not love. He would be unable to bear that outcome.

"Sesshomaru, I know what I'm asking you to do," Akatsuki said noticing the hesitation in his eyes. "Please forgive me, I have been such a burden to you," she said, knowing she was asking him to violate his very honor. "And I am truly sorry, but will you... will you please do this, for me?" she asked as the tears began to well behind her eyes.

Sesshomaru did not immediately respond. He was the youkai lord of two territories. If he were to perform such a dishonorable act, how could he rule his lands? How could he ask her to rule by his side? But should that truly matter? Did it? He did not wish to lose her.

"My love," Sesshomaru began a short while later, as he wiped his thumb along the corner of her eye to remove the water that had trickled from it. "Would you be content to issue your vows without witnesses?" He asked, studying her closely.

"Sesshomaru, over these past weeks, I have learned there is no one more honorable than you. Witnesses are not necessary. It is not a requirement, only a formality, is it not? I believe fully that you would hold to your vow."

"I would never break my vow to you," he said dragging his claw along the side of her jawline," as he considered her words, shifting his weight to rise to his feet. "If you are truly certain that is what you wish to do, I will do what you ask. This is just the first of many things I will do for you," he said leaning forward to wrap his arms around her. "I have learned there is nothing more important to me than you. I wish to love and protect you always," he said, though uncertain if this was truly the way to begin their union, but he could not take the life of her old friend. He would rather risk the ire of her parents than to risk the ire of his future mate. Over time, he would do what he must to smooth his relationship with the Kokuō. "Then afterwards, _**we**_ would talk to your parents together. You would be my mate, and if we are to do this now, I would take full responsibility. I could not allow you to face them alone."

"My love, may I ask you something," Akatsuki said, lifting her fingers to place them softly across the side of his face. "I did not say this before when we talked, but...," she paused slightly as she looked into his warm golden eyes. "I did sense one other thing when we met that did not make sense to me."

"What is that, my love?"

"I sensed that you are fond of home and children and that you desire a settled environment. I thought at first it was for the sake of your young charge, but now I... is that really true?"

Still kneeling before her, Sesshomaru studied her with a warm golden gaze and a slight curve to his lips. His long slender fingers rested themselves beneath her chin, tipping her face up to his. "If someone had told me these things six months ago, I would have annihilated them for insinuating that I would 'lower' myself to caring, let alone love. But I am not the youkai I used to be. I now understand why my chichi-ue wanted me to care about someone. With no one to love, my life was empty. But all my life I have been so foolish because I never realized that; and I never cared. I thought only about being the strongest youkai I could be. I would have fulfilled any obligation that was required of me to obtain that goal; until you showed me that you would rather risk your life than stay with me so that I could repay an obligation. I understand now, and I know I need only one thing to complete me, Akatsuki. _You!_ I would lay down my life to protect you," he said with a warmth he had never displayed to anyone.

Rising to his feet, Sesshomaru extended his hand to assist her to hers, as he pulled her toward him and pressed his lips against hers. "I want to love and protect you always Akatsuki, if you will let me." He placed his hand on the side of her face and pulled her toward him. "Are you truly up to being my mate and fighting beside me, fighting with me?"

"Yes," Akatsuki whispered, "Are you truly up to loving me and, fate willing, our children?"

"With everything that I have in me," Sesshomaru answered as he rested his forehead against hers, then nestled their cheeks together "I want to be with you forever."

"I will never leave your side," Akatsuki responded breathlessly.

"I love you, my lady," Sesshomaru repeated in anticipation, delighted at her willingness, as he rested the warm, slender fingers of one hand along her cheek, pulled her waist toward him with his other then lowered his lips to hers as he kissed her tenderly.

As the passion grew within him; Sesshomaru gently slid his hands down Akatsuki's back and grasped one end of her obi that circled her waist as he pulled it from her to open the soft, light-weight cotton yukata kimono she wore. Stepping back slightly, he looked deep into her ocean blue eyes for confirmation of their intended objective. "Akatsuki, you have been untouched. Are you certain you wish to do this now, without your parent's sanction?"

Akatsuki issued a warm smile with her lips and eyes. "Sesshomaru with you as my mate, the only honor that I question is will you still love me afterward. Will you not think less of me for asking you to betray your own honor?"

The youkai lord smiled warmly. "Akatsuki, it is I who hope you do not regret your decision tomorrow. I love you and I will always love you. I will do whatever you wish me to because it is you who have asked."

Akatsuki reached up and clasped his face between her palms and kissed him fervently. "That is all I care about my love, that we please each other."

Sesshomaru leaned forward as he kissed her lips, then pulled the end of her sash to loosen it and slipped it from around her waist as he let it fall to the ground, then lifted his hands to her shoulders and opened her yukata, allowing it to slide reverently down her shoulders, as he rejoined their lips while he removed the garment, letting it fall to the ground. Nipping at her bottom lip, he gently moved his clawed fingers to untie her sleeveless Hada-Juban, which covered her breast as he pulled the fabric away.

"Wait," Akatsuki said, blushing softly in her innocence, then uttered an enchantment as she enclosed them behind an invisible barrier that shielded them from sight "I am certain my handmaidens will look for me if I do not appear in time," she said as she faced him then reached timidly to untie his obi to remove his haori as she pulled his swords away and let them slip to the ground. Sesshomaru kicked off his boots then helped her to remove his haori by spreading his arms and allowing the material to fall freely from his body.

Akatsuki tossed it aside, bringing her hands coyly to his torso. Slowly, she lovingly traced her claws along the magenta-striped heritage markings covering his ribs and abs, then rested her palms lightly against his taught muscular abdomen.

Sesshomaru carefully ran his claw in a line from her bottom lip, down her throat, between her breasts, and pressed his palm against her stomach before allowing it to slide slowly down between her thighs, then back up to her stomach, his gaze never once leaving her face. Against his fingers, he could feel her blood racing in her veins as he touched her. Her body felt warm as her ribcage rose and fell beneath his palm.

Akatsuki gasped softly as his hand made its way down her body. She brought hers up to his face and closed the space between them, tilting her head upwards as Sesshomaru leaned his neck down to meet her. They kissed each other with passion and admiration.

Wrapping his arms around Akatsuki, Sesshomaru flared his mokomoko and wrapped it around her as he lifted her into his arms; then laid her onto a patch of soft, spongy grass as he knelt before her and removed his hakama and his fundoshi, as his golden eyes preceded to drink in every inch of her body.

Feeling slightly uncomfortable under his penetrating gaze, Akatsuki wrapped her arms across her breasts.

"Do not cover yourself, you have no reason to be embarrassed, my lady." Sesshomaru said as he looked down at her curves with an admiring golden gaze. "You will soon be my mate. I want to see and know your body as well as I know my own," he said in a soft guttural tone.

"No, I ... I suppose I'm just slightly nervous," Akatsuki said with a gentle smile, as she looked up at him and allowed her arms to slide to her sides as she waited for her love.

Sesshomaru leaned forward and kissed her cheeks reassuringly. "Do not be," he said softly, issuing a slight grin as his eyes continued to rove along her length. "You are so beautiful, and I love that you love me," he said then sat down beside her as he lifted her head, pulling her hair away from her neck and draping it across his legs before helping her turn to her side as he curled his mokomoko across her then gently lowered her head to his lap, leaving her puzzled by his intended objective.

"I will not hurt you," he said noticing her slight discomfort as she turned a pair of nervous eyes toward him. "Just relax and close your eyes. I simply wish to become familiar with your body," he said, followed shortly by the tender touch of his lips on her shoulder as he allowed his hand to slowly traipse its way down her length, ensuring that he touched every inch of her, taking note of all the areas she trembled slightly beneath his touch.

He had never previously explored anyone's body in such a manner. But Akatsuki was more important to him than anyone had ever been, and her satisfaction was his primary objective. She had agreed to make him her first and only, and he wanted to ensure that she knew he could provide that pleasure she truly desired. Despite the pulsing sensation of his hardening midsection behind her, the youkai lord continued his slow and careful explorations as his hand moved stealthily along her smooth, flawless skin and lingered as it explored the moist softness between her legs, being careful of how he angled his claws.

Shifting her hips against his palm, Akatsuki moaned with soft pleasure and delight as she rotated her body around to face him.

Finally, Sesshomaru dipped his face to her breasts, softly sucking her nipples, first one and then the other, then gently nibbling each tip, as he moved above her and commenced kissing his way down her length. Nearing her navel, his fingers slipped between her legs as he massaged her inner thighs, pleased with the trembling sensation, she clearly emitted, then, once more he allowed his fingers to massage the moist suppleness between her legs.

After fully exploring every sensitive spot on her body, Sesshomaru looked down at Akatsuki. Her vibrant blue eyes gave away her eagerness and her fear. He knelt at her feet, and Akatsuki slowly parted her legs to receive him. Sesshomaru gradually positioned himself then looked into her eyes once again. "If you are uncertain, this can wait," he said offering her a final refusal. "If you are not ready to commit to me, all you have to do is tell me, my love."

"No, it is... it is only my fear that I will disappoint you."

"Disappoint me," he repeated with astonishment. "It is my responsibility to please you. You have already pleased me, by accepting me as yours, and I will honor your vow whatever it is."

Akatsuki leaned upward and kissed him fervently, before issuing her vows to him, "I am ready to be yours, my lord and my love. I give you my heart to love and protect."

"Akatsuki," Sesshomaru moaned her name softly with all the love he had inside him, then issued his vows to her. "You are truly my lady and my love, I want no others. I accept the responsibility and give you my heart to love and protect in return."

"My love," Akatsuki called stopping him, as he prepared to slip between her legs, while he looked into her eyes. "I know this is likely uncustomary, but there is one other thing," she began hesitantly, remembering her first generation father's reported words to his mate.

_That was not what she requested when they exchanged vows and mated._

Puzzled, the youkai lord studied her as he waited.

"You are now the lord of two territories, there is one thing I would like to request for our children, should fate decree it."

"What is that my lady?"

"I would ask that we do not randomly impose youkai rules and obligations upon them. I would like them to grow up as a new breed of youkai, without such restrictions on their lives.

"Akatsuki, my love, I will not rule alone, we will do that together. All you need do is ask, and I will do my best to comply," he said, lowering his head to kiss her lips, essentially letting her know that she need not have concerns that he would be like her first generation father. He had never before considered such rules could be a hindrance. But he knew first hand, how such regulations had impacted his own life. He, like her, would not wish to negatively impact his heirs.

Finally, laying himself upon her, the youkai lord was amazed by the contradicting soft plushness yet strong firmness he felt in her body under his touch, his silver white locks falling softly over his shoulder and draping gently across her chest. Sliding between her legs, Sesshomaru was deliberate but gentle as he prepared to possess her as he had possessed no others and he entered her stripping away any remaining traces of her virginity; making her his at last.

Akatsuki shivered and gasped when he entered her; raking her claws lovingly across his shoulders while lifting her hips to meet his, as the tears of her joy and pain pooled in her eyes.

Their breathing grew passionately ragged as he moved against her, slowly at first, then growing more urgent as the youkai lord's body demanded more, wanted her more; needed her more; loved her more.

Slipping his hands beneath the bottom of her thighs, Sesshomaru lifted her legs and rested them on his own. He felt comfort in the ease and security with which she locked them around him. "Tell me you love me," he whispered in her ear.

"I love you Sesshomaru," Akatsuki said without hesitation with that slight but distinctive roll of the 'r' in his name then she leaned up and kissed him, before reaching up to slip her hand behind his neck, pulling his head closer toward her and nestling her cheek against his face. "I love you with every inch of my being," she whispered softly.

They were simply words, but the youkai lord's heart throbbed in synch with the sound of those words as he closed his eyes and felt the heated warmth of her cheek pressed against his face as he reveled in the sensation of the warmth of her inner body. He had never thought he would ever hear a youkai tell him that. He had never thought he would ever want to hear those words spoken to him. But he knew he had longed to hear them, and he had longed to hear them come from her lips, and he loved the sound of it just as he loved her.

Sesshomaru dipped his head, lowering his mouth to her throat, kissing her passionately; dragging his fangs gently across it as he emitted a soft growl, then carefully applying pressure so as not to pierce the delicate flesh with his fangs, sending delicious shivers all up and down her spine as was evident in how she trembled beneath him.

"Oh yes, my love," Akatsuki cried out as she tightened her grip around him.

Wrapping his fingers around her right breast, Sesshomaru gently kneaded it between them, before lowering his mouth to her nipple, softly teasing it with his tongue, then moving to circle her areola, finally, opening his mouth and sucking on the voluptuous mound until he released it and performed the same acts on the other.

Akatsuki uttered a soft groan as she threw her head back, lifting and opening herself to receive the full force of his passion; to be completely possessed by him as she moved her hips feverishly against him.

The fire in Sesshomaru's blood raged hot and fierce, and he growled a little more fervently into her throat as his muscles flexed tightly then relaxed in a rapid quickening rhythm, his eyes closing and lips quivering as he lifted his mouth and kissed her softly, passionately; steadily increasing the pace of his thrusts as he stroked his claws softly along the back of her thighs. He wanted her more than he had ever wanted anything in his life; and he could not believe that his foolish pride had nearly allowed her to escape from him forever.

Akatsuki's legs tightened around him as she pushed upward, returning the passion he gave to her and moaned as she opened her mouth and he pushed his tongue inside, exploring every inch of it, while she slipped her arms around his waist and pulled him tightly toward her.

**************************************************************************  
For the first time in her life, the youkai hidenka was one heart and one soul with a youkai in a manner she had never before experienced. And she was delighted that her lord and her love had found her worthy of the love he had buried inside him for so long.

The two youkai remained in their passionate embrace as the late afternoon sun softly morphed into early evening moon light.

As the moon light settled on the leaves, the mating groans of two youkai was unmistakable as it gently caressed the grass and lovingly sailed through the skies.

**+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-**#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#+*-#

**As I mentioned last time, I will conclude this fiction in the next couple of chapters. I have hinted at a number of things that I have not yet touched upon, but I do not believe I will continue that story here. The union of the two youkai has turned out to be so very long. If I continue with the story line, I think what I will do is end this fanfic and start a continuation type of story, which will pick up several months after the ending for this one if anyone is interested. So let me know at the end, whether you would be interested in knowing what happens, by having me continue the story here, or in another fanfic, otherwise, that will probably be it if there is no further interest.**

**So, Sesshomaru and Akatsuki have essentially eloped? Interesting. Could they have not thought of anything else?**

Okay like I said last time, at first, I had not intended to put in anything about having Sessy talk to Akatsuki's father, or anything about this planned ceremony, but decided to use it as another honorable youkai custom because I felt this could be a great prelude to some future problems for the newlymateds (although that will not be concluded unless I start part two of this fanfic).

Is their decision going to be a major mistake for the two of them? Something tells me their solution wasn't the most honorable approach, and if Akimaru truly does love Akatsuki, would he really just let her go to that inu youkai who he already indicated he didn't really like? Well, whatever happens, I hope it doesn't turn out to be too bad anyway.

By the way, since youkai do not get married, my take is that the female youkai utters her desired vows to the male before they mate, and then the male pledges to honor her vow then utters his own, whatever that might be. I figured that would be better than having them simply mate and nothing else. Otherwise, how would that be any different than the other youkai Sesshomaru has already indicated he has used to satisfy his biological urges? Of course, with the sanction of Akatsuki parents, they would have uttered their vows before a room full of other youkai witnesses, then retired to a room to mate. But I did not believe that Sesshomaru required witnesses to feel compelled to hold up his end of his vow. He is honorable, afterall.

Hope you enjoyed!

Akatsuki - (Aurora/Dawn)  
chichi-ue - (father)  
Fundoshi - (is the traditional Japanese undergarment for adult males)  
Gishiki - ceremony; rite; ritual; service  
Haigūkōdō - mating behavior  
hidenka - (princess)  
Kōgō - (Japanese queen, empress)  
Kokuō – (king, monarch, ruler)

Ōji - (prince)  
oyaji - (old man)  
Sakini - before; earlier than; ahead; beyond; away; previously; recently


	42. Chapter 42 Having Repercussions

**A/N: Sorry, Last Chapter. I did not intend to conclude this story without telling you exactly when I would, but I believed this was the best place to break it. So I have.**

**Sesshomaru & Inuyasha: Brothers in Arms  
Sesshomaru & Inuyasha: Kyōdai de Busō  
**

**Shō 42 **- **Hamon o nagekakeru**

**Chapter 42-Having Repercussions**

With the sun nestling its vibrant yellow brilliance high in the sky, it wasn't until late the next morning that Lord Sesshomaru and Lady Akatsuki finally made their appearance in the castle greeting room in the Suzaku compound. As it turned out, despite the force of the waterfall pounding down upon their flesh, the youkai lord once again insisted upon displaying his love and affection to his lady, even in the bath as they washed.

Even though Sesshomaru had no desire for Akatsuki to disclose their act without him by her side, her father, Kokuō Ryota, had insisted upon speaking to his daughter alone the moment they entered the castle.

With the youkai lord left anxiously awaiting their return for quite some time, Akatsuki explained the what's and why's to her parents. Though her news was received with a great deal of calm from her mother, the same could not be said of how her father had received the news of this unexpected event. In fact, he had only managed to reign in his temper before exiting the room, when coerced by his mate to do so.

"Lord, Sesshomaru," Kokuō Ryota stated as he reentered the greeting room. His height was only a few inches shorter than the youkai lord's, but he carried every inch of his frame straight and upright, determined to present a stature of equal measure to his lords.

As he strutted into the room, so cold and indifferent, the hardened look in his normally crimson eyes, were in direct conflict with his otherwise regal appearance. "Akatsuki will not return until we have spoken," he said forebodingly, folding his arms stiffly behind his back and strolling toward a large opened window.

Sesshomaru watched as he moved slowly, yet deliberately. Despite his obvious attempts to control his emotions, there was no doubt the Kokuō was furious, but the youkai lord had expected no less. He knew the act he had perpetrated was dishonorable, but surely the Kokuō would not attempt to deny his daughter what _she_ wished. But Sesshomaru could see he was clearly struggling with what to do. There was little to nothing of the Suzaku clan that he was aware of, would the Suzaku Kokuō himself attempt to challenge him?

"It is my understanding that you have mated with my daughter without the sanction of her parents," the Kokuō said angling his head toward the youkai lord, the bright crimson color of his eyes vibrantly glowing his fury. "I will not argue that issue because there is no point. She is your mate now, and you have left me no options," the Kokuō said. Despite the protective coating of his bones and flesh, the angered thumping of his heart was clearly audible to the youkai lord's sensitive ears. "My daughter says she loves you, but I am uncertain you know what that means," Kokuō Ryota said giving Sesshomaru a stern look, in essence making him aware that he had full knowledge of his history. "I must also state that despite Akatsuki's claim that this act was committed per her request, I hold you personally responsible. And I feel your act was beneath the status of a youkai of your status," the Kokuō spewed forth, making no attempt to conceal his temper. "I hope you have not done this because you are our lord and simply feel you are entitled," the timber in his voice increased as he remained uncertain of his lord's true motives. "She was destined to be the Kisaki of our clan, but now…," the Kokuō hung his head as he reflected that there would be no one to take either his or his Kisaki's place; they had no other children; something he had never anticipated.

"Kokuō Ryota," Sesshomaru began.

"This should have been the most important day of her life," the Kokuō continued, ignoring the youkai lord's attempt at speech. He would speak his piece before he allowed a single word to exit that youkai's throat. "But with this act, you have allowed it to be cloaked in secrecy and dishonor. Since I know so little of your character, I would like to know why you would do such a thing. Why would you take a Suzaku Life Sorceress as your mate? There are untold youkai you could have selected," the Kokuō said with unmistakable contempt. There was no doubt that despite the fact that the youkai in front of him was his lord, he held little respect for him. "I hope you do not believe my daughter is someone you can simply utilize for your own advantages. Akatsuki is not your typical youkai. Do you even know what you have done? And I speak not of the fact that you have taken our future Kisaki. I want to know if you have the heart to give her what she needs? I must warn you, if anything…"

"Kokuō Ryota," Sesshomaru interrupted again, as he considered the Kokuō's words. "May I speak," he asked studying the youkai who stood a few feet distant with so much anger boiling and bubbling just beneath the surface of his skin. The youkai lord could scent his fire power and he knew if he did not attempt to calm him; that power might soon be unleashed. It was true he had no desire to kill the Ōji, but neither would he allow himself to be killed by the Kokuō. It was not that he feared anyone, but Sesshomaru realized he wanted to battle Akatsuki's father even less than he wanted to battle that Akimaru. He was well aware that a lot of the Kokuō's anger, though, was likely based upon his previous reputation. With the act he had committed, by taking the Kokuō's daughter as his mate without his sanction, his new father was well within his rights to display even more anger than he currently exhibited. But the youkai lord reasoned he loved Akatsuki, and despite the Kokuō's anger, he would change nothing.

"I will offer no excuses because I have none to give. You are correct; despite what Akatsuki may have said, this act was my responsibility and my responsibility alone. Akatsuki is now my mate because I wished it to be," Sesshomaru said, noticing the veins in the Kokuō's neck tighten. "I know we have not met under the best of circumstances and I am certain you have heard nothing good about me through the years, but I am equally certain you have heard nothing to cause you to question my honor. I love Akatsuki and I could not allow another to claim her," Sesshomaru said resolutely. He had a long road to travel, and he knew that, but he also knew the only way to attempt to alleviate the Kokuō's distrust was to be open and honest with him.

"I am well aware of the duel I should have engaged in, but I understood that Ōji Akimaru has been a longtime friend," Sesshomaru said as explanation, though he was offering no excuses. "I could not hurt Akatsuki by taking the life of her friend. And if you have heard anything about me, I am certain you know a duel would have resulted in only one outcome - the death of the Ōji."

"And you are so certain you would have had no trouble doing that, are you?" Kokuō Ryota inquired with a snide, penetrating gaze. He was uncertain if this youkai's arrogance was more annoying than his act. But knowing who the Ōji's competitor was, he had to admit the truth of that fact.

"In truth I should not even respond to that," Sesshomaru said calmly, though slightly angered that his abilities had been so openly questioned. "I am not generally arrogant about my strength or my abilities, but I am a warrior, I have been so all my life; the Ōji is not. I may well have regrets about not obtaining your sanction; but I have no regrets about claiming Akatsuki as my mate. I love her and she loves me. I am aware of the evolution of the Suzaku clan. Akatsuki has informed me of this. I believe I am more than capable as well as willing to give her what she needs. You need not worry. I will both protect and love her." But knowing he still had another issue to address, the youkai lord continued. "If you have concerns about a future Kisaki for your clan, you need not be. Akatsuki is my mate, we will rule two territories of land together, but we can also rule the Suzaku compound if you wish. But that would only happen, if and when you wish to be unseated. If you do, then we would need only that you assign a special emissary to figuratively sit in our stead. We could then rule from the southern castle."

The Kokuō diverted his gaze momentarily, then looked up to study the young youkai lord standing in front of him; so defiantly head strong. So like an impetuous child who believes he should simply take what he wishes. He knew not how these events have transpired. Never had he cause to question his daughter's judgment. But to take this youkai as her mate; he knew not if the dark magic surrounding that castle she had been secluded in this past month had somehow impaired her. Though he knew little of him, he knew his lord contained great power, and he had no doubts the Ōji would have paid in the end, so the result would be the same, Akatsuki would still be his mate. If Lord Sesshomaru indeed did love her, as he said he did, then perhaps he should have no question about her safety in his hands. But could he truly love her; did he? But was that his concern, or Akatsuki's? Should he truly allow her to go with a youkai who could not love; despite what he said? The Kokuō remained uncertain.

Carefully scrutinizing his young lord, Kokuō Ryota wondered if his earlier impression of him had been incorrect? He was a real charmer, this one; he understood fully what it meant to be a daiyoukai when he wanted to; knowing all the right things to say, even when he was clearly in the wrong. In the end, even his solution for the Suzaku compound was not without its merits.

Squaring his shoulders, Kokuō Ryota stifled a smile and inhaled a deep breath. "You represent yourself well my lord," he said as his anger slowly began to simmer. This youkai lord had more of a level head than he had previously thought. "I shall offer no further resistance. Akatsuki is your mate to protect, and I hope you do. I have lost one daughter. I do not wish to lose another."

"I will keep her safe," Sesshomaru said assuredly; that was one thing, of which he had no doubts. "She is more important to me than my very life itself, and I would kill anyone who dares to harm her."

Kokuō Ryota considered those words. In truth, he could do nothing. His daughter had made her choice. He must now accept it despite his unwillingness. But there was one thing he could do, to make the youkai lord's task a little lighter. "The Ōji is a high ranking member of the Suzaku clan, and I am certain he will not be pleased with this outcome. So I will send servants to inform him of Akatsuki's change in status. My only hope is that he will be accepting of it," he informed the youkai lord, as he extended his arm to grasp Sesshomaru's biceps. "You need not confront him."

"I have no fear of confronting him," Sesshomaru responded, extending his arm in return as he also grasped the Kokuō's biceps.

"No, I did not believe you would, but there is no need, and considering the outcome, it is best he be given time to adjust. I believe the Ōji has wanted to mate my daughter for some time but it had also been planned and assumed nearly from their birth," the Kokuō said, while wondering if Ōji Akimaru would be as easily accepting of this conclusion as he, himself, was forced to be; but he was an honorable youkai, he would recognize that it was now out of his hands. "But there is one further thing," the Kokuō began as he peered into the eyes of his new son. "Most of our guests have remained for the conclusion of the festivities, which never began," he began slowly and thoughtfully. "I am aware this ceremony was not planned for you. But you are now Akatsuki's mate. If you take no exception, I hope you will appease my mate by allowing her to indulge in her daughter this one last time. She was unable to enjoy Akatsuki's Sakini Haigūkōdō Gishiki because you did not have one. But can you at least allow her to engage in the planned Sugi Haigūkōdō Gishiki scheduled for later tonight?"

An after mating ceremony, Sesshomaru considered as he returned the Kokuō's gaze. He had not anticipated that. Akatsuki had not said…, but she was his mate now. And this had been arranged in her honor, even though he was not expected to be the second party. "What is required?" he asked, knowing if he did, he would participate in the first of likely several ceremonies the Suzaku clan held that he had previously been unaware of.

"Though you are her mate, your roll is no more important than mine. There is nothing you need do but sit at my daughter's side," Kokuō Ryota said as he moved closer toward the room's exit before stopping to study the youkai lord once more. "You said Akatsuki has told you of our evolution, then you should understand that Life Sorceresses are the foundation of our civilization. Our society was formed by our queen mother. And the mating of a life sorceress is held in high regard among us. For now, this should be your mating time. When you see Akatsuki, you may ask _her_ specifics of what is done. Many will come to give gifts and pay homage to her. If you wish, you may restate your vows. But that is entirely up to you and my… your mate."

_The mating of a life sorceress is held in high regard among us._

He had not known; nor had he bothered to find out. Had he deprived his mate of something vital? But if he participated now, would he simply bring humiliation to her? Should he attend, Sesshomaru wondered or should he decline? But if he declined, he could likely hurt Akatsuki as well as his new parents. He wished to do neither. Should he not simply look at this as an opportunity to become acquainted with those over whom he and Akatsuki would soon rule?

"If that is truly your wish," Sesshomaru offered; "then I have no objections."

"Good. I shall have Akatsuki come to you," Kokuō Ryota said turning to make his way from the room. "You will learn soon enough that females have their little peculiarities about their ceremonies," he added with a broad grin as he went off to retrieve his mate and daughter.

A few minutes later, Akatsuki entered the room and rushed into the arms of her love. "Oh Sesshomaru," she began as she wrapped her arms around his neck. "My parents have accepted our decision. They will offer no further objections."

"Akatsuki, for your sake I am glad," Sesshomaru said though he remained uncertain as to whether he had truly made any inroads with her father. But he would work on that over time he decided, it continued to amaze him that now he truly seemed to care about such issues. "I did not wish to hurt them, but I also had no desire to lose you. I am delighted that we will not lose their support."

"Come to my room, my love," Akatsuki said tugging his arm gently as she turned to exit the greeting room to head down the long hallway leading to her bedroom. "My father said you have agreed to attend the Sugi Haigūkōdō Gishiki. I know you have done that for my sake, but my mother will love that. I thank you."

Sesshomaru smiled as he followed his love. His life would be different now, he knew that. But he could not help but wonder how many changes he would soon undergo. In taking Akatsuki as his mate, it was not only her that he need worry about now, it was her family and her clan as well. He had never taken so many under his protection, but he knew he was also responsible for all the residents in the western and southern lands. Before, he had thought it was only his land he need protect. But now, he knew he needed to protect everything close to his and Akatsuki's heart; and he knew he could not fail.

"Come, lay with me my love," Akatsuki said as she entered her room and reclined on the bed. "The ceremony will not begin until much later tonight. Are you quite certain you truly wish to attend?"

Obliging his mate, Sesshomaru crawled into the bed beside her and wrapped her in his arms. "Akatsuki, why had you not told me that in mating the way we did, that I had deprived you of something so important?"

"Important? I do not …" Akatsuki hesitated as she looked into his concerned golden eyes. What could be more important than becoming his mate? "Sesshomaru," she began again, "What do you believe would be so important to me?"

"Akatsuki, I know you are not like me, in that you are not a warrior. But you are a female, and I know you love your parents. You are a Suzaku life sorceress and your mating day is so very special to your clan, to your parents, and especially to your mother. But your father was so angry," he began as he tightened his grip around her shoulders. "In truth, I expected nothing less, but I am certain your mother was equally, if not more so."

_I hope you do not believe my daughter is someone you can simply utilize for your own advantages._

_My daughter is not your typical youkai. Do you even know what you have done?_

"Though I am certain your father did not say half of what was festering within him."

Akatsuki raised her head to study her love, as she peered deep into his eyes. "I am sorry you had to undergo that alone," she said, knowing only of her father's initial anger when he had exited to talk to him; and nothing of which he might have said, though she believed she could imagine.

"That was inconsequential. What I want to know is, are you certain you have no regrets about what we did yesterday?" Sesshomaru asked, uncertain if she would say words that would tear him apart. He may never have loved before, he may never even have cared before; but he did know he loved her so very much now. She was filled with emotions he had never possessed; emotions he had never cared to possess. He believed now, it was the emotions that flowed from her that had touched him so. Her caring and loving spirit had caused him to care and love as well. But he had to admit, he had no idea how this worked. Would she wish to ease her parent's pain even if she caused pain to him?

"Sesshomaru," Akatsuki began as she laid her palms on his chest. "You are my mate, and I am yours. You took nothing from me that I did not wish to give. I am not some frivolous female who knows not what is important. There is no ceremony I hold more important than becoming your mate," she said, clutching tightly onto his haori. "Yesterday you told me you loved me. If that is true, you should not question my heart so easily. I also have never loved another as I love you; but I know I love you so very much," She said almost pleadingly; her heart welling with emotions. "Please do not make me believe that it is you who regrets taking me as your mate. I could not bear it," Akatsuki said as she studied him with pain filled, puzzled blue eyes.

"Akatsuki, of late, there have been many things I may be uncertain about. But that is my own fault. That is how I chose to live my life. But I know I will never be uncertain about anything I do for you. My previous uncertainty nearly caused me to lose you. I will not allow such uncertainty to determine my actions again."

"It matters not what uncertainties you possessed before," Akatsuki said with a smile as she gently kissed his lips. "I simply thank the fates that you came when you did," she said as she curled to her side and nestled her body into his, reveling in the embrace of her lord and love. "I nearly gave up all hope that you would ever come."

Sesshomaru remained silent. Akatsuki's father had said this was the mating time; the time between the ceremonies that was not planned for him. If he had waited any longer, he knew it would not be his arms Akatsuki would be nestled in at this moment. How foolish he had been; to love her so very much and not know it. To care so much for Akatsuki, yet so steadfastly fight his own emotions.

"Sesshomaru," Akatsuki began slowly as she turned her head to face him once more. "I want you to know I did not commit to the Ōji immediately," she said, but wondering why she felt that was necessary. But she could only assume it was his silence. She could no longer sense his heart, but she could sense the tenseness in his body as he held her close to him. She could imagine his thoughts now. She could not bear for him to be plagued by what might have been. "Shortly after you left me, my father told me Ōji Akimaru had spoken to him, but I did not immediately commit, because I had hoped you would return for me; and you did," she said studying him. "The fates have been so kind to us," she said smiling at him.

Leaning forward, Sesshomaru softly nibbled the back of her neck, then kissed her as she turned toward him. "Tell me about this ceremony," he said after he took a breath.

"The ceremony; oh yes," Akatsuki said, knowing he would likely not be familiar with it. "Would you like us to send for your mother? It usually includes the parents of both the male and female. But your mother has not yet been notified."

"There is no need," Sesshomaru responded as his thoughts once more drifted to ones he had been having for quite some time.

"But Sesshomaru, my love; with the way things have occurred. She has no idea that you have mated. If we do not include her in the ceremony do you not believe that would be unkind?"

"My haha-ue cares not about kindness," Sesshomaru said, indifferently; though believing Akatsuki likely already knew that. She had heard enough about him before they met; he was certain she had heard of his haha-ue as well. "Unlike with you, I do not require her sanction. Besides, there are issues that must be addressed before I can consider socializing with her again."

"Issues that must…?" Akatsuki queried, squirming around to face him. "What issues?"

Sesshomaru studied the puzzled expression in her eyes. When he had first met her that was to be his objective - to find out what she might have known about the situation with his chichi-ue. But instead, he had discovered her love. A love he nearly tossed aside. But one thing he did not understand was this confusion that still haunted him. He had thought once he had claimed Akatsuki's love, he would no longer be so confused. But now, he seemed even more confused than ever. He wanted to protect her, he wanted to keep her safe, but his own life possessed such issues that he had no desire to burden her with. He knew had she known anything about the subject that puzzled him so, she would likely have told him long ago during one of their nightly conversations. But she had only spoken of the hanyou and of him. Now, he would likely not go on patrol for some time. How could he possibly expect to resolve his issues? "It matters not, now. I will address them eventually," he said, tightening his grip around her as he smiled gently.

"But Sesshomaru, if you have issues to address, do I not also have the same issues? Am I not your mate?"

"You are my mate; my love. And you are correct; my issues are your issues, but not today," Sesshomaru said as he rubbed his palm along the side of her face. "Today is your mating day. I will not spoil it for you. We shall have sufficient time to resolve them," he said wrapping his thighs around her. "So tell me about this ceremony."

Akatsuki began setting the stage by explaining that since it was created to honor the mating of the Suzaku Hidenka, it was primarily attended by high level members of the Suzaku clan; as well as the parents of the male and female. She explained that the mating party would all sit on royal tatami mats in front of their guest who would come forward at some point and offer gifts and pay homage to the newly mateds. She further explained that even though it was not exactly like a human wedding, she hoped her love could force himself to be a little more indulgent than usual, because she had to confess, it did model it to some degree. Akatsuki explained that what he would see was a reflection of the Suzaku clan's belief that the world was changing and their attempts to change with it. She explained that in addition to prepared food, the ceremony would conclude with a youkai version of the San-san-kudo. She explained that this was the part of the human ceremony where nuptial cups were exchanged between the mates to toast their union; in addition to an exchange between member families to signify a complete family union.

Akatsuki had grown momentarily silent with that announcement and Sesshomaru knew she likely regretted that he had decided not to include his haha-ue.

"Continue my lady," Sesshomaru suggested as he squeezed her more securely in his arms.

Though reluctant, Akatsuki told him of the food they would likely have. She announced that even though most Suzaku clan members now ate cooked human-type food, some still preferred the taste of fresh meat, so there would be more than sufficient food available to his liking. Akatsuki concluded by requesting that they restate their vows during the Sugi Haigūkōdō Gishiki. Stating that even though she did not require it, her father had mentioned it, and since they had mated without her parent's sanction she hoped he understood that she did not wish to disappoint them again.

After resting for most of the day, when summoned by Ashira and Bathera, the youkai lord and his lady retired to the onsen several hours before the ceremony was scheduled to begin. Having had no anticipation or preparation for the formality of the evening, the youkai lord had no formal attire to change to but borrowed a newly constructed haori and hakama from the Kokuō in red and gold enabling him to match the color choices of his new mate as they prepared for the evening's events.

Sesshomaru had never previously enjoyed participating in social gatherings, not even when his haha-ue had scheduled them when he was a young pup. He could not say he would enjoy participating in them any more today. But for Akatsuki sake, he was more than willing to try.

Since he had already been forewarned, the youkai lord was not surprised to enter the banquet room and see tables with untold quantities of food, including freshly roasted as well as uncooked bovine and wild boar, grilled unagi, fried squid, rice, sushi, and many other selections.

The fact that it was not Ōji Akimaru seated beside the hidenka elicited a mixture of emotions, including well wishes, surprise, shock and even disapproval from some in the Suzaku clan who were openly confused and disappointed by their hidenka's decision to mate outside the Suzaku clan. Sesshomaru, though, reveled in the amount of love and admiration as well as the gifts showered upon his lady. The fact that she was so loved and respected made him love her even more, despite not believing that was possible.

In all honesty, the youkai lord would readily admit that other than seeing his lady worshipped as he believed any lady of his should be, the only part of the service that he truly enjoyed was the exchanging of the nuptial cups. In fact, he enjoyed it so much that he even requested a second cup. But when he requested his third, his lady promptly put her foot down and declined, saying it was inappropriate for the lord of two lands to display his yearnings in such a manner. But she promised he could have all he wanted, if he so desired when they were alone. She did admit that the true joy of drinking saki came only when one was slightly tipsy.

With neither of them the least bit swayed by the reception they'd received from the Suzaku clan, two days after the mating ceremony, Lord Sesshomaru and Lady Akatsuki returned to the southern castle, and announced to everyone there, that they were now lifetime mates. Inuyasha, Rin and even Jaken were delighted with the news. The youkai lord who thought he would never love, had indeed fallen in love with the most passionate youkai he had ever known, and he was grateful that he had learned to care for her, to want her, to need her, and most of all, to love her. He was also grateful that she too, had learned to love him. He knew his life would not have been complete without Akatsuki by his side.

As a right of their union, Sesshomaru made one request of his lady. With his love of her so strong, he never again wanted her to experience the pain and sadness she had felt when she touched a youkai's soul, so he requested that she forego that side of her abilities as much as possible, and concentrate only on her barrier and developing her fire power, while he trained her in the art of Kenjutsu; thus enabling her to more closely fight by his side. The youkai lady was more than happy to comply; she wanted nothing more than to always be by her love's side as he wanted her by his. A fact made clear when she made her request as a right of their union.

After having observed both Sesshomaru's and Inuyasha's sword attacks during the battle with Princess Edera; Lady Akatsuki requested a sword be forged for her so that she would have another method by which she could fight by Sesshomaru's side. The youkai lord complied readily, by donating one of his own fangs for the deed. Still wanting to repay the princess for saving his life, but not sure he would ever be able to provide adequate payment; Inuyasha also donated one of his fangs. With the fangs of the youkai lord and the hanyou as well as the youkai lady who did not wish to be left out of the process, Toutousai, the youkai sword smith who had forged both Tenseiga and Tetsusaiga was able to forge a sword like no other. Akatsuki's sword was multi-faceted. It had the ability to direct a powerful energy force toward its victims, freeze then shatter its victims where they stood, as well as draw their life force from their bodies and send them straight to hell.

As the weeks went by, many changes began to take place as the southern castle slowly became home to Sesshomaru and his growing family. The youkai lord requested construction changes to add a dojo so he could train new guard recruits. He added additional support staff and a team of youkai to stand guard around the castle walls as they awaited construction of the western castle. With only 50 guards currently on staff, Sesshomaru knew his force was currently insufficient to protect the castle, but he also knew he would increase and train more over time, so that both the southern and western castle would boast a guard force unlike any other.

Gone was the barrier constructed by Princess Edera, gone also were her ningyou youkai and the magic that lurked behind them, and gone were most of the empty rooms as most of them now bustled with energy and life. By order of the Lord of the castle, every effort was made by the new servants to erase all traces of the castle's previous resident.

Lady Akatsuki's handmaidens had moved into the southern castle to be at their mistress' side. They also brought Adona with them. Rin was grateful to have a winged horse to fly upon, and loved flying on Adona, almost as much as she loved flying on Ah-Un.

With the procurement of several stablemen, Jaken indeed became Sesshomaru's chief minister. His responsibilities included administering and tending to all the affairs of the castle staff; designating assignments for everyone and ensuring that everyone's duties were carried out. Unfortunately, his service in this particular position didn't last very long. As it turned out, one day the daidokoro staff members had apparently not prepared the stew quite to Jaken's liking and had refused to remake it. Assuming he was being ignored because of his small stature, the little toad was angered beyond belief, and released the fire from his faithful staff of two heads, at what he termed the rebellious and disobedient servants, resulting in him nearly burning down the daidokoro.

After thumping the little youkai nearly mercilessly, Sesshomaru was finally pulled off him by Akatsuki. After apologizing to his lady for allowing her to see him lose control so completely, the youkai lord pondered why he even bothered to put up with the little imp, then realized it was because Jaken was loyal until the end, he questioned his master's actions more than many had - and yet he lived. Jaken was the one feature in his life that reminded Sesshomaru that his actions _could _be questioned. Jaken was also easy enough to protect. After a little convincing by his mate and much consideration, the youkai lord decided it would be best if he simply reassigned the little youkai. So after transferring the daily responsibility of the castle staff administration to his lady; Sesshomaru created a position called minister in chief (the title was quite possibly simply to pacify the little toad) and assigned him to that. Here Jaken reported directly to Sesshomaru. His duties now included overseeing the construction of, as well as laying out his master's daily attire and ensuring his bath was ready, essentially serving as Sesshomaru's personal butler. As it turned out Jaken actually enjoyed this new position even more, there was nothing he liked better than to be of service to his lord and virtually always by his side.

With the news of the death of Princess Edera having circulated throughout the southern lands, one person returned to the castle that had been the place of pure torture to her for four years. She had returned to thank the hanyou who had set both her and her sister free, as well as the youkai lord who had freed everyone in the lands.

Sarula.

The young wolf hanyou had returned to show her appreciation, to Inuyasha as well as to serve her new lord and lady anyway she could.

During their interview encounter, the youkai lord sensed something he was certain, his hanyou brother had not. Not knowing how it would turn out, but wanting only the best for his younger brother, and hoping that perhaps one day, he would forgive him for his past transgressions as well as hoping he too could find the same kind of happiness he had. With a nod and a wink from the lady of the castle, Sesshomaru decided to assign the female hanyou to a task in which she would be constantly exposed to his younger brother - food host to the soldiers and guards.

As time went on, Inuyasha was in fact beginning to enjoy his role in his brother's castle as well as their growing relationship. They continued their nightly conversations and developed plans where they would make their rounds protecting the youkai as well as the humans of the western and southern lands together. Sesshomaru would tell him as much about the various youkai as he could. Inuyasha would function as his primary general, responsible for evaluating and ensuring that any potential threats were quickly expunged as he went about the task of securing additional youkai for the position of soldiers and guards for both castles as needed.

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**AN: For this chapter, I knew I wanted to include some of Akatsuki's father's reaction so I decided to also include an overview of their after mating ceremony here (not much of one though) because the two youkai did not celebrate their mating, and I did not want Akatsuki to feel she had allowed the most important day of her life to past by without any fanfare. I wanted them to have some time where they thoroughly enjoyed each other's company. For the most part it was not too pleasant prior to now.**

As I thought about this chapter, would you believe I actually considered having Sesshomaru get drunk after drinking some saki for the toast because he had never had any saki before? But of course, I could not have him get drunk in front of a room full of other youkai. Then I thought of having him get drunk but only Akatsuki would know that he was after everyone had left, but then I threw that thought out as well. I felt he was a youkai lord and despite the enticing taste of something he had never had, Sesshomaru would never allow himself to be overtaken by some alcohol, because once it starts, who knows when it would stop, and Sesshomaru doesn't need to turn into a drunkard; he's got work to do.  
  
**I'm sorry, the ending for this came up a lot quicker than I expected it would. I did not think I would reach this part until the next chapter at least, but I decided I might as well break it here. I've decided to continue this story under a new title, which will be called "Deadly Repercussions" if you care to read it. I went back and forth with the title and even considered calling it Sesshomaru's Unexpected Path, based on a suggestion from a wonderful person with the avatar name of Pumpkinpi. **

**Just to let you know, the new focus will lead to a lot of trouble for our crew. Which will also likely lead to the end of this fanfic but that won't be for at least 15 chapters, or so, I think. Of course, if I decide to continue I will let you know well before hand. Anyway, I hope you like where I decide to take them.**

**In the continuation, I will try to explore some of the aspects I have already touched upon in Sesshomaru's and Akatsuki's conversations as well as some new things that have not been. Will the youkai lord believe he has made a mistake taking over a castle previously owned by a youkai he killed? What about the youkai lady, will she find peace in the castle she believes her sister may have been killed in and where she, herself almost died? Will the youkai lord find that mating and ruling two territories of land does not mean living happily ever after? But I'm sure he never thought or even hoped for that. Sesshomaru may also find that having his hanyou brother living under his roof is not an easy thing to contend with.**

**I expect to have the second part of this story uploaded by Friday, July 1. If I change the title, I will put an announcement on my Profile page.**

**Hope you enjoyed-Promise better things to come!**

**Akatsuki - (Aurora/Dawn)  
chichi-ue - (father)  
daidokoro – (kitchen)  
Gishiki - ceremony; rite; ritual; service  
Haigūkōdō - mating behavior  
hidenka - (princess)  
kisaki - (queen)  
kokuō - (king)  
ningyou youkai - (puppet demons)  
Ōji - (prince)  
onsen - (public hot spring water bathing room)  
oyaji - (old man)  
Sugi - past; after  
unagi - (eel)**


End file.
